Show-Me Character News Briefs for Monthly Newsletters (Designed for Adults)
Show-Me Character
Show-Me Character focuses on teaching young people to make sound decisions. It also
encourages all adults to become more involved in helping youth develop positive
character traits such as honesty and truthfulness. Here are some ways you, as an adult,
can promote character development:
 Be an advocate for character. Don’t be neutral about the importance of character
or casual about improper conduct.
 Set a good example in all you say and do. And, when you slip be accountable,
apologize sincerely and resolve to do better.
 Praise good behavior and discourage bad behavior by imposing fair, consistent
consequences that prove you are serious about character.
Show-Me Character Corner is a new feature of this newsletter. Check the corner for
information on each of the Six Pillars of Character – trustworthiness, respect,
responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship – and use the suggested activities or
discussions with your children to reinforce how important it is to be a person of good
character.
Missouri 4-H recognizes the importance of good character in everything that is done.
4-H staff and volunteers, as well as 4-H members and their families, know that a
person of character:
 Is a good person, someone to look up to and admire
 Knows the difference between right and wrong and always tries to do what is
right
 Sets a good example
 Makes the world a better place
 Lives according to the Six Pillars of Character
Show-Me Character – Trustworthiness
People with good character are people we can trust. Trust is not automatic. Earning
trust takes time, losing trust can happen quickly. Honesty, promise keeping, loyalty and
integrity are four elements that are key to building trustworthiness. Use these guidelines
for earning and maintaining trust.
 Tell the truth.
 Keep private information
private.
 Be sincere. Say what you
mean and mean what you
 Don’t gossip.
say.
 Don’t ask a friend to do
 If you find something that
something wrong to keep
doesn’t belong to you, return
your friendship.
it.
 Stand up for and act on what
 Keep your word.
you believe.
 Be reliable.
 Do the right thing no matter
what you lose in the process.
 Return things you borrow.
Are you worthy of trust? Spend some time talking to your children about how trust is
earned and why it is so important. Encourage them to talk about one of the following:
 Your teacher has miscalculated your test score giving you a higher grade than
you deserve. What do you do?
 The teacher is in the hall and you need a pencil. There are pencils in the
teacher’s desk drawer. What do you do?
 You did some work on your 4-H project but when the fair got closer and closer
your mom finished the project for your. You go to conference judging and the
judge asks you if you completed your project all by yourself? What do you say?
4-H Connection: With a new club year comes enrollment time. When members sign up
for projects they are making a commitment to members and project leaders to attend
meetings and complete their projects. Encourage your child to carefully consider the
number of projects that can be realistically completed.
Show-Me Character – Respect
People of good character are respectful of others. You show respect by recognizing and
honoring everyone’s right to be themselves, to make decisions, and to have privacy and
dignity.
 Be courteous and polite.
 Be kind and appreciative.
 Accept individual differences and don’t insist that everyone be like you.
 Judge people on their merits.
Are you respectful? Spend some time talking to your children about being respectful and
how respect and disrespect is shown in every day situations. Encourage them to talk
about one of the following:
 A friend borrows one of your toys and won’t return it. Is that friend being
respectful? What do you do?
 You tell a friend a secret and he tells it to a few other people. Is that friend being
respectful?
 You’re at the monthly 4-H meeting; raise your hand to make a comment and
everyone listens quietly while you talk. Are members of the 4-H club being
respectful? Are you respectful when others are talking?
4-H Connection: County fairs and achievement days are lots of fun but they can also be
stressful for adults, 4-H’ers and family members. Encourage 4-H members to show
respect by:
 Waiting their turn in line
 Thanking judges
 Helping younger members who are scared or lost
 Appreciating the work of other 4-H members
Show-Me Character – Responsibility
Taking responsibility is a way to show we are people of character. It means doing our
part, controlling our thoughts and actions, and doing our best. When we are acting
responsibly we take the blame when it is due and do not claim credit for other people’s
work. We accept responsibility for our decisions. Being responsible means we:
 Think before we act.
 Think about how our actions affect others.
 Think before we speak.
 Are accountable; taking responsibility for the results of what we do and don’t do.
 Fix our mistakes.
 Keep trying. Stick to duties even when they are difficult.
 Are reliable and always do our job.
 Clean up our own messes.
 Show perseverance by demonstrating a commitment to finish what we start.
Responsibility journals – Encourage your children to become more aware of their
behavior by keeping a responsibility journal for two or three days. Suggest they record
their behavior in one of three sections: being dependable, being accountable, and doing
my best. After two or three days discuss the journal with them. You may also want to
keep a journal for the same period of time.
4-H Connection: Attending 4-H events like camp, Teen Conference, Congress, Youth
Forum and interstate exchanges is an excellent time to show how responsible 4-H’ers
can be. Encourage your children to be on time so others don’t have to wait, keep
clothing and other personal items contained and not strewn all over the room, participate
fully in all planned activities and complete jobs that are assigned.
Show-Me Character – Fairness
Fairness is one of the most difficult Pillars of Character to define clearly. People often
see decisions that help them as being “fair” and those that do not as being “unfair.”
Fairness is often a matter of perception. Although some decisions are clearly unfair, the
fact is there is usually more than one fair choice. Being fair means you:
 Listen to others and try to understand what they are feeling and saying.
 Consider all the facts, including opposing views.
 Use the same standards for everyone in the same situation.
Are you being fair? Make a list of some of your family rules and the consequences of
not following them. Ask your children what their rules would be if they were in charge of
making them. List these next to the actual rules. Discuss the rules one by one. Ask, “Is
this one fair? Why or why not? What would happen if we adopted this rule?” Compare
these to the first list in terms of fairness. Decide what will happen if the rules are broken.
Consider revising some of the current rules if youth can show how their suggestions are
fairer.
4-H Connection: The 4-H experience is most importantly about young people gaining
knowledge and developing skills to benefit them throughout their life. However, rules are
a necessary part of some 4-H events. Help 4-H’ers understand that rules are set for a
purpose. For example, the camp registration deadline is necessary so the staff has time
to provide adequate space, food and a quality program; and fair rules are established to
do the greatest good for the greatest number of people so as many as possible can have
a quality experience.
Show-Me Character – Caring
Caring implies action, not just empty emotion. Caring people love, help, give and are
kind. They are caretakers of people, pets, plants, possessions and even the planet.
Caring people show their concern for others in an active way.
 Show kindness and compassion for others.
 Live by the Golden Rule.
 Think about what their decisions, word or actions will do to other people.
 Put concern for others into action.
Help your children learn to care for family members by making “caring coupons.” This is
a great activity for young people of all ages because it costs no money and still is a
special way to show family members they care. Have all family members think of caring
acts that others appreciate and list these acts on the coupons. Examples: one
dishwashing job, yard work, extra house cleaning chores, keep TV/or loud music off
while others are sleeping or washing a car.
4-H Connection: When volunteers were asked in a 2000 survey how they most liked to
be recognized for their 4-H work they overwhelmingly said written thank you notes from
4-H’ers. Encourage your children and other 4-H members to take a few minutes to write
a thank you note to someone who has done something special for them or has given
them their time.
Show-Me Character – Citizenship
True citizenship means participation, involvement and contribution. No one can make a
difference without being involved. Good citizenship is not just doing the thing that “looks
good.” Good citizenship means helping others and knowing more than how the
government works. It means working to make our community, country and world a
better place to live. A good citizen:
 Obeys the laws
 Helps others/volunteers
 Protects the environment
 Votes
 Respects the flag and other national symbols
How can you address community problems? Ask your children to think about problems
they might find in their neighborhood, school, or 4-H club. Discuss what causes these
problems, how problems affect members of the community and how concerned citizens
can solve the problems. A list of concerns might include:
 Litter and other forms of pollution
 Shoplifting
 Outdoor play equipment that is broken
 Wildlife that is dying
 4-H members not attending meetings and scheduled activities
4-H Connection: Missouri’s 4-H clubs have a wonderful tradition of community service.
Every year nearly every club participates in at least one service project. Actually the
average club conducts at least five service projects a year. Helping others through
community service is a wonderful way to show citizenship. The projects don’t have to be
big but should be something that benefits the people in the community.
Decisions happen so quickly, but the consequences can last a lifetime. That’s why careful
consideration is important. Thinking about and practicing good ethical decision-making
helps us when “real-life” decisions come along. Consider these things when you make
decisions:
 Who is going to be affected by the action?
 Which of the Six Pillars of Character (Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility,
Fairness, Caring, Citizenship) are involved?
 Are you willing to pay the price (pride, integrity, reputation or honor) of making
an unethical choice?
 How would an announcement of this action or comment look on a billboard in
your neighborhood?
 What if your mom or dad were watching you? Would you want them to know?
 If everyone said this or did this, would it be a good thing?
Practice ethical decision-making by considering these two situations:
Your grandmother spent five weeks kitting you a sweater. You hate the sweater, but
when she asks you how you like it, you don’t want to hurt her feelings. What will you do?
You are “grounded.” Your parents are away fro the evening. Friends drop by to take you
out for a hamburger several hours before your parents will be home. What will you do?
“I trust you.” Doesn’t it feel great when you know people trust you? Have you
ever thought about how you get people to trust you? You can’t just tell them you
are trustworthy. Trust must be earned by demonstrating honesty, integrity,
promise keeping and loyalty. Trust is earned, one trustworthy deed at a time.
Think about it like a tower.
Every time you do
something to show you
are trustworthy (do
your chores, help a
friend with homework)
a block is added to the
top of your tower.
Every time you do
something to show you
are untrustworthy (miss
curfew or not study for
a test) a block is
removed from near the
bottom of the tower
that may cause the
tower to tumble. You
must then start building
trust all over again.
Practice Exercise:
You have just made the cover of Honest Confessions magazine. Draw yourself
on that cover and list “articles” that indicate in words or pictures some of the
stories included in that issue. Here are some suggestions: “When My Parents
Trust Me Most,” “When I Trust My Parents Most,” “I Destroy/Earn My Parents’
Trust in Me When I…” and “I Think Trust Is Really Important Because…”
Aretha Franklin’s song “R-E-S-P-E-C-T!” made the word famous but do we know what it
really means? Ethical people are respectful of others, and demonstrate it by recognizing
and honoring everyone’s right to be themselves, to make decisions, and to have privacy
and dignity. Ethical people deal with others using one of two principles:
1. Respectful people give others the information they need to make wise decisions
about their lives.
2. Ethical people accept individual difference without prejudice. Respect is given
because you are a person of good character.
Use these guidelines to strengthen your character:
 Be courteous and polite
 Be kind and appreciate
 Accept individual differences and don’t insist that everyone be like you
 Judge people on their merits, not on race, religion, nationality, age, sex,
physical or mental condition. Or socio-economic status.
Practice Exercise:
Using good manners is a way to show you respect yourself and others. Send this month
learning about table manners, dating etiquette and business etiquette. Go to the library,
do a web search or ask an expert to help you in this exercise.
Ask a group of your friends ways they want to be shown respect. Then turn this list into a
checklist on how you will treat others your age for the next week. Then try it for a second
week.
“You can count on me!” We’ve all said it. We’ve probably all meant it. But have we
always carried through?
Ethical people are responsible. You can count on them to be accountable, show selfrestraint and pursue excellence.
Think before you act!
Be accountable! Don’t blame anyone else for your mistakes.
Be reliable!
Set a good example in what you say and do.
Take the initiative to make your school, organization, neighborhood, or home better for
yourself and other.
Do your best!
Stick to it!
Finish your work before you play.
Practice Exercises: What would you do?
You agree to go to the big dance with a friend because the boy or girl you really like is
dating another student. Five days before the dance, your dream date asks you to go with
them.
You give the school lunch lady $10.00 for your lunch. She is very busy and mistakenly
gives you change for a $20.00.
How many times a day do you proclaim, “That’s not fair!”? It seems to be a
common statement made by people of all ages. We often see situations that put
us at a disadvantage as “unfair.” At the very least, fairness means going by the
rules, treating everyone the same, and using the same rules for everyone, so no
one has an unfair advantage.
Practice exercises:
Invite a group of your friends over and suggest you play a game. Make sure that
some of your friends know before hand that the group will be playing the game
using different rules than usual. Play the game and watch the reaction of those
who don’t know the new rules. Be sure to tell them afterward that this was an
experiment and not a plan you devised to make them mad. Talk about how it felt
to not understand what was going on.
What would you do? One of your 4-H projects is sheep or beef. A requirement
for showing market animals at the State Fair is to have a nose print of the animal
made several months before the show. While at the Fair you overhear someone
saying they switched their animal after the spring nose print was made with a
prize-winning animal recently purchased from another state. What would you
do? Who is affected by the decision you make? Who is affected by the decision
made by the other exhibitor? Why do you think someone would make this kind of
switch?
Caring is at the heart of an ethical person’s character. It’s a guideline for how an
ethical person relates to the world and its people. Make caring an action word,
you can only truly care if you do something for others. A caring person is
considerate, kind, compassionate and generous. That person always takes into
account how decisions, words, and actions are going to affect other people.
Practice exercise:
This month identify 2-3 people you think of as caring. Take a few minutes to
interview each of these people to find out what motivates them. Ask who inspired
them and who their heroes were when they were children and who they are now.
After the interviews consider what you have learned and decide if this information
can help you be a more caring person.
Citizenship is not passive. It demands participation, involvement and contribution.
Good citizenship in practice is understanding, appreciating, and doing things that
make life better for yourself and others. Citizenship includes both rights and
duties. My rights depend on you fulfilling your responsibilities and my
responsibility includes the duty to see that you are free to exercise your rights.
4-H’ers have shown good citizenship through community service activities and
projects.
Practice exercise:
This month take the time to learn more about your community. Study its history
and share that information with others through a program at a 4-H club meeting or
an article for the local newspaper.
It doesn’t take lots of people to complete a community service projects; in fact,
one person is enough. This month think of 1-2 activities you can do by yourself to
help your community. Some ideas might include attending a city county meeting
to learn more about issues, help with voter registration or drive someone to the
polls to vote or organize a bingo party or costume party at a local nursing home.