Marshall: Where are we-where am I interviewing you, LaRae Chainey?
La-Rae: At my home in Willard Missouri
M: The date is March 25, 2010. What is your full name, including maiden name, and how
are you referred to locally like you nickname and title?
L: K, it’s LaRae, L-A, then capital R,-A-E. In brackets-no parentheses then would be
Stapp and Chainey.
M: Did you have a nickname?
L: Oh, no.
M: Ok. What is your place of birth? And then your current place of residence?
L: Webster County, Missouri, well it was at Henderson. And Webster County, but that’s
good enough. And currently in Greene County, Willard. (inaudible) that’d make more sense.
M: Yeah. Places of residence as far as you can remember-recall, including your years and
as much information as possible. Probably not-I don’t think they have to be in order, just places
of residence.
L: Well, hmm. For life, or childhood?
M: Probably all your life. As much as you can remember.
L: So I grew up living in multiple homes, between Galloway MO and—
M: How do you spell that?
L: G-A-L-L-O-W-A-Y. And
M: Fordland?
L: Uh huh.
M: Then, did you-where’d you live next?
L: Then we lived in Springfield, when I got married.
M: Okay.
L: Then to Ava, Missouri for one year.
M: Ok.
L: Then to Willard, where we’ve been for 41 years.
M: Ok, what is your current age and date of birth?
L: 62, and 12/6/47
M: Ok. What is your education including institutions, locations, degrees, dates-as much
as you can remember.
L: ((chuckle)) She’s institutionalized me in…in an institution. Graduated high school,
well grade school through high school, Logan Rogersville.
M: Was it called Logan Rogersville?
L: Mmhmm, well, it was called Logan, and well, I started in a one-room school in
Palmetto. And then to Logan, and then to Logan Rogersville.
M: How do you spell “Palmetto,” or…?
L: P-A-L-M-E-T-T-O. It’s just south of you guys up in (inaudible) I’ll have to show it to
you some day. So one-room school at Palmetto, elementary school at Logan, High school at
Logan Rogersville…better leave room for college.
M: Ha.
L: And then, I got a Bachelor of Science degree, so B.S. in Social Work and Psychology.
At Southwest Missouri State, SMSU. And then, master’s degree in Social Work at MU.
M: Ok. What is your current occupation?
L: Retired. Well, as a licensed, clinical social worker.
M: What is your current religion?
L: Church of Christ.
M: What is your spouse’s name and spouse’s occupation?
L: Joseph Andrew, retired, electrical field.
M: Was his last name Chainey, too, or?
L: Too? Grandpa?
M: Yeah.
L: Yeah ((laughter))
M: Okay, well you said Joseph, Joseph Andrew…I was like…
L: Well I figured you knew his last name. ((laughter))
M: I-I knew your last name. I knew-I know how to spell your name. I know where he
lives. I know where-I know your age. I know your birth date. I know ((chuckle)) [inaudible]
What’s your children’s names?
L: Melissa Rerry Young.
M: Hope so.
L: Jodyle Steven, Jod-y-l-e, one name: Jody, Y-L-E.
M: Ok.
L: Steven. That’s Chainey ((laughter)). And Charles Dewayne, D-E-W-A-Y-N-E, no
break. And Larry Joe.
M: Ok. This is Marshall Young. I’m interviewing La-Rae Chainey. We are conducting
this interview at Willard, Missouri in her home. The date is March 25, 2010. This interview is for
the religious lives of Ozarks Women: Inter-generational Storytelling from the Older to the
Younger conducted through Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri. Ok, LaRae, how
long have you been a member of this church?
L :Since the age of 14.
M: Ok. Did you-did you go to church before, this—
L: No.
M: This church. Ok. How did you get involved there? Like how did you-who introduced
you, or if they didn’t introduce you, then how did they, or what introduced you?
L: Well at the age of 14, we lived in Henderson, Missouri, just north of Rogersville, and
people were still having to walk where they wanted to go most of the time if they wanted to go
into town or whatever so the only way I was able to go was the preacher, MeritYoungblood
would come and pick me up for church along with several other people. In fact, the congregation
didn’t start worship until he had everybody picked up that he needed to—
M: Yeah.
L: get. So he became involved with my mother when my twin brothers were born, at the
age of-at-when I was at the age of ten, and so he had helped her with things that she needed just
after their birth, and then continued to pick me up to go to church.
M: Do you-have-how long have you gone to the church you’re currently at?
L: Not real sure, probably six or seven years, maybe. Probably somewhere around 6.
M: Have you been involved with other churches or religious organizations, other than the
one you are with now?
L: No.
M: Like Church of Christ.
L: I’ve been in other congregations of the Church of Christ, but I’ve interviewed lots and
lots of friends through the years who have had different religions, I’ve studied different religions
and I found that’s where I believe meets most of what the scripture teaches, so.
M: What was the role of religion in your home when you were growing up?
L: When I was growing up, religion was only used to fuel major arguments. It was talked
against, it was suggested because, I came out of a family of 8 children and continued to go
because I thought I was too good for myself, so it was a negative experience and used for
arguments between my parents and between myself and my siblings.
M: So it was more of a negative?
L: It was definitely a negative experience and negative influence.
M: So like how-how was it negative? Did you like go to-when you like, went to church,
when you came back did you do something wrong, did your mom use that against you?
L: It was things like, after Mr. Youngblood moved to Arkansas to preach at a
congregation in Huntsville, he asked himself, the new preacher that came from Springfield, if he
would pick me up for church. And my mother would mock me on the days that he would just
drive by and wave at me, and she would tell him-tell me that that was proof that I wasn’t worth
the price of a jello-mould. Because there were times that he drove on by because he had a lot of
Jello in the car, he was eating lots of these (inaudible) in Rogersville and didn’t want to stop and
risk that the Jello might lose its consistency. And so it was extremely hard to go out in the
morning, hearing that that was going to happen, and then on the days that it did happen, that I
would have to go back in and let her tell me, again, how worthless I was.
M: Wow. Well from hearing that, what was your strongest childhood memory related to
God or religion?
L: It was the day that-or the night that I decided to get baptized, and, and it has
connection with another question that you have on your list: how it was influenced by the fact
that I was girl as opposed to a boy. I wanted to be baptized before that age, well, probably that
age, but before that day, and because my mother was (inaudible) then and was always so angry
about me being at church, I didn’t feel like I could be baptized until my brother went forward to
be baptized, and so I followed him up, and as a result of that, she accused me of wanting to get
the attention away from him.
M: Yeah.
L: I wanted to be baptized the same day just to minimize his being baptized, but the truth
was, I was afraid that she would beat me for doing something like that because it drew attention.
M: Other than that time, do you recall any other times where it was different for you in
your religious role because you were a girl…instead of a boy?
L: Not as a child growing up—I don’t remember anything, but I think it’s made a major
difference in my life, because of the poor parenting in my life, it decided from the Bible, from all
that I had read, it seemed to me that God had written the book, that people-people will say that
they don’t-there’s not a book written to tell you how to raise your children, but I disagree, the
more I read the scripture, the more I was aware of the connection of the relationship that He
wants and requires and the forgiveness that He gives us, and the rarity of His ever having to
come down on anyone hard because they messed up, the need just, simple things, like, I never
grounded my children to their room, I grounded them to me because in the scriptures, God talks
about confession and repentance and forgiveness, and it seemed to me that my kids needed to be
with me so I could help them get to the point that they were able to tell me all the things that they
did wrong when they made a mistake, and then because of the grace he gave me, if they were
able to tell me that they were going to try not to behave that way again, and I could trust that it
was easy for me to go on and we didn’t have need for punishment at our house, for the most part,
when you talk about corporate punishment or anything like that, it was-the punishment
was...having to take the time and spend it with me in a loving way, we made cookies, we, we
played baseball, we did whatever, we did laundry. We did whatever in a pleasant way until they
were able to tell me what happened, and I just think, I tru-firmly believe that it’s the scriptures
that allowed me to have a happy home, happy children.
M: Mmhmm.
L: Successful adults. Because I did have such a negative experience growing up, it maybe
was, just more apparent to me, the kindness that the scripture teaches. And so, I would say that
was because I was blessed to be a mom.
M: Uhhuh.
L: I was able to practice some of the things that I-that I read daily in the scripture. And, it
was to the extent that my daughter believed that because I would ask her what had happened
she’d tell me, I asked her what she was going to do, she’d tell me. And I’d leave the room feeling
happy, so I might change a certain church song, or something like that, she thought for 33 years
that I was throwing God into her face—
M: Mmhmm.
L:—making her feel guilty when in fact, I was just able to be thankful every time my
children did something wrong that they did it where I was able to know it, and I was able to help
them in some way. So, that would be the biggest influence I was thankful of as a girl.
M: Yeah. Is it-would that also be like a difference too? That you were a girl instead of a
guy? Like you…
L: Probably, probably so.
M: So if you were a dad, you think, so it was a good difference…
L: If I was a dad, I don’t know, I hope I would have still seen the relationship and tried to
raise my children with the same relationship, but I don’t know that I would have, I don’t know
that I would have had the-the time with my kids, the way God has with us to really understand
what wonderful people they were and—
M: Mmhmm
L: —and how, I wasn’t going to make them or break them. I just needed to raise them
and let God deal with the rest.
M: Mmmhmm. What other than childhood-like you were talking about, like what
challenges or struggles have you faced in your religious life?
L: I think, the only really hard experiences that I have had or difficulties have all been
due to my childhood. And, I made really good grades in school, I made really good grades in
college, and I graduated with honors.
M: Mmhmm.
L: But because my mother didn’t want us kids to read, she discouraged it, she made fun
of it, she shamed it, I’m not a good reader, and it makes it harder for me to read the scripture in
large amounts.
M: Yeah.
L: I need to know what I’m reading so I have to read short amounts to make sure that I’m
understanding what I’m reading. And it’s just—I think other than, if I had had- if I had been a
good reader as opposed to a mathematician, I think it would have been easier. I see other women
that can read a book a day and I can probably read a couple pages a day, and comprehend what
I’ve read.
M: Yeah, But also, that could be a good thing. To people that think they know what
they’re reading, you know that you know what you’re reading.
L: Could be. That’s what my best friend tells me, that she can sit down and read a book in
a day, but she’s not going to understand it or know how to apply it—
M: Yeah.
L: —the way she believes that I do. And I think probably, I really search the scriptures
close because I don’t have the generational family people in the church that I can talk to and ask
if I’m understanding, or-or what have you, but I do have the brothers and sisters in the faith that
are patient and understanding and easy to ask questions.
M: And. Well, knowing that you can-that you have understood it, would prob-most likely
lead to an advantage almost, th-than, than your other brothers and sisters have, because they,
when they read the scripture, they can read chapters and books in it in a day, but you, they would
assume that they understand it, but then when it comes upon it you would have that extra step,
because you would have-it would you take a month to read a chapter and it would take them a
day, and you would have a month to read it and you would understand it more. Because you
would go a month reading the same thing and you would use it all the way through that month,
and in then in the future you would remember what you read more than they would.
L: I think that the only-I think it’s real interesting that you said that, because I am
extremely thankful for the way that I was raised, because my siblings were treated somewhat
different than I was and they put their faith on different things than I have. And my brothers and
sisters, in-in the church, and I frequently had them tell me- that-that they think I have peace that
they struggled to get, and-and I think because of -because of the way I was raised, because of my
difficulties reading, because of health issues I’ve had since I was a child, I think they all work
together as a blessing.
M: Mmhmm.
L: I think they give me a calmness that makes life easier. I don’t panic easily, and—
M: Yeah.
L: And I-I count on God for what I do, and I’m thankful to Him.
M: Yeah.
L: So I think it’s been a good thing.
M: So your challenges and struggles have actually helped you.
L: Oh, yeah.
M: Ok.
L: Yeah, I think they’ve-they’ve made it clearer to me. I think if I could have counted on
my mother, father, my siblings, and grandparents who I didn’t know, and aunts and uncles who I
didn’t know, I might have been a Stapp as opposed to a Christian. And I really see, God and the
church to be my family. That’s—that’s who I can communicate well with, that’s who I can feel
accepted by, but also, just feel like I can have a true relationship, is not something I have to
wonder about.
M: Uh, uh
L: I know—
M: Yeah.
L: That God’s in my life.
M: Yeah. What person has influenced-has most influenced your religious life?
L: I think again it would have to be my mother.
M: And then how-how she has would be what you talked about before?
L: Because-exactly, the total negative, angry, bitter—
M: Yeah,
L: —interaction. And yet she would have told you before she passed away that she was a
Christian and that she believed in God. But she made it-she made it really challenging for me to
live the life of a Christian. And yet I think that it just gave me a clearer picture of what I needed.
When I was growing up, I knew there had to be a better way
M: Yeah.
L: A better way to earn your money, a better way to manage your life, a better way to
feed your family, a better way to keep the house. It just seemed like everything growing up was
negative.
M: Mmhmm.
L: And so I knew that there had to be something out there-I knew it wasn’t right to tear
people down, I knew that there had to be something that people were experiencing, and-and what
I found was there were people out there that were very kind to each other that were very family
oriented. However, they’ve all had an influence, but none, I think, have had the influence that my
mother had.
M: Mmmhmm. And again, the influence that she had ha-was a struggle at first, but now
you look back on it and—
L: Mmhmm. Yeah, I’m thankful for it because if you think you’re the favorite child—
M: Mmhmm.
L: —then that’s where your focus is, and you’re going be broken when you find out
that’s not true. If you find out you’re nobody, and it stays that way, then you have to developyou have to find something that-that is more reasonable, that makes more sense. And, I’ve
learned that you can have a happy home, you can earn your money and not spend monies you
don’t have—
M: Mmhmm.
L: —that you can feed your family, even on minimal amounts of money, we fed our
children. There-there were days that raisin’ our kids, that we would say “We only need two
dollars.” If we had two dollars than we could buy the loaf of bread, or the gallon of milk, or we
could out two dollars of gas in the car and get where we needed to be, and inevitably, somebody
would call and say, “Hey, can you give me a haircut? I only have two dollars, but I’ll pay you
that.” And it would be always the amount we needed, we always managed, and we always had
been able to be happy and hopeful.
M: Uh huh.
L: And, I just think that there’s just a real blessing in-in weakness—you-you really have
to search when-when you’re not a strong personality. When you-and you have to find what
makes more sense, and what works, and what truly gives you a sense of peace, and what just
seems to satisfy you for the moment.
M: Mmhmm. Knowing-knowing what your kid-or your childhood was like, how do it
would- your religious life is different from what kids like me have it today?
L: I think that we all just about have it the same. I think that we all have our childhoods
and our family life, and, while they’re different for everyone there’s still that need to connect
with God. I think that a lot of our young people probably have more opportunity to talk about
God, and probably even have more opportunity to read about God. And, I-I just feel like, there
were people for me to-to watch, and to question, and they weren’t as readily available maybe but
they were there, as you guys maybe have it a little more readily available but at same time, you
have negative things that are more readily-readily available. There were drugs and alcohol and
those things when I was growing up, but you had to work-you had to go get them, where for you
people-young people, I think maybe there’s things in your face a little more. But I know, from
my own life experience, that there are still people there for you to ask, to support you, to help
you figure out your way.
M: Mmhmm.
L: But when it comes down to it, it’s your relationship with God, and whether you
develop it strong now, if you develop it later, it you develop it because of the loss of a child, or
the loss of a wife that you recognize the strength that God has, I don’t know, but I think for the
most part, we all have it pretty much the same, the scripture reads the same, and it really is a oneon-one relationship with God that we have to develop, so I think it’s-it’s
M: The same.
L: It’s about the same. It’s tough, but it’s available. It’s rough, but it’s pleasant. It’s scary
sometimes but it’s faith, so, I think it’s about the same.
M: Last question: how would you like this church to remember you?
L: I guess I would like for the church to know just that I truly love God and I love people
and-and I care for the needs of others, but-and I guess I would like for them to know that my
weaknesses have really added to my strength, and-and that I have lived with a peace that does
pass understanding, and that I’m a mother and a grandmother and feel blessed to be that way so,
happily married to my husband, and don’t want to leave him out.
M: Mmmhmm.
L: But I’ve had an amazingly, amazingly good life. And I can only say that because of
God.
M: Mmhmm. Well thank you.