Contents
Preface
iii
Issue 1
Key point a
Key point b
Key point c
What kind of person would I like to be?
Developing self-awareness
Self-esteem and recognition by others
Self-management
1
2
31
54
Issue 2
How do I get along with others?
81
Interpersonal communication
Managing conflicts
Developing relationships
82
103
122
Key point a
Key point b
Key point c
Optional Learning Materials
143
Issue 1
Key point a
Key point b
Self-management
144
145
160
163
How do I get along with others?
Interpersonal communication
Managing conflicts
Developing relationships
167
168
175
194
Key point c
Issue 2
Key point a
Key point b
Key point c
What kind of person would I like to be?
Developing self-awareness
Self-esteem and recognition by others
i
ii
Preface
Among its recent proposals for education reform in Hong Kong, the Education
Commission recommends the provision of ‘a broad senior secondary curriculum to
enable students to acquire experiences in various key learning areas, construct a broad
knowledge base and enhance their ability to analyze problems’ (Education
Commission, September 2000). The Integrated Humanities (S4-5) represents a
response to this proposal. The Integrated Humanities is made up of four core modules,
namely Personal Development, Characteristics of Hong Kong Society, Development
of Modern China and Globalization; it also has three optional modules, that is
Religion and Life, Human-Environment Relationship and Relationship between Mass
Media and Modern Culture. Students studying this curriculum can build a broad
knowledge base and a rich repertoire of skills and abilities.
The Learning Resource Pack on Integrated Humanities (S4-5): Core Module I –
Personal Development is part of a series of learning and teaching materials being
developed by the Education and Manpower Bureau (EMB) for the implementation of
the new subject.
The General Education Centre (GEC) of the Hong Kong Polytechnic University
(HKPolyU) has been commissioned by EMB to prepare this booklet. The authors of
this booklet are Dr. YEUNG Kwok-wing, Anthony, Mr. FONG Chi-wah and Mr.
LEUNG Wai-chung, Beeto.
Schools are encouraged to adapt the materials for educational use according to
their contexts. NO part of the documents shall be duplicated for commercial purposes.
iii
We welcome feedback and suggestions from teachers. Please send them to:
Chief Curriculum Development Officer (Personal, Social and
Humanities Education)
Curriculum Development Institute
Education and Manpower Bureau
13/F Wu Chung House
213 Queen’s Road East
Wan Chai
Hong Kong
or by e-mail to pshe@emb.gov.hk, or by fax on 2573 5299 / 2575 4318.
For further enquiries, please contact the PSHE Section, Curriculum Development
Institute (CDI) on 2892 5735 or 2892 5859.
iv
Issue 1
What kind of person would I like to be?
1
Key Point a
Developing self-awareness
2
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Suggested questions for enquiry
How can one understand oneself? How can the way others see oneself help one
know oneself? How can one find out one’s interests, orientations, and the things
valued?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Explore ways to achieve self-understanding;
b) Achieve a deeper understanding of yourself;
c) Understand yourself through social interaction.
ii) Duration:
about 5 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Before the lessons
At the beginning of the semester, distribute material 37 to students and ask each
to write a biweekly “conflict resolution diary” according to the instructions. (This
is to prepare students for the lessons in Section 2b.) Teacher collects the diary on a
regular basis and gives feedback during the semester.
Lesson 1
1. At the beginning of Module I, provide a brief summary of what is going to be
discussed in the section, i.e. understanding of self and building relationship
with others.
2. Remind students that serious self-reflection and active involvement are vital
for self-understanding. Preparation involving reading relevant materials and
writing reflective journals before class is important. Students are encouraged
to keep a learning portfolio for this module. (Keeping reflective journals and
other relevant materials helps students keep track of their learning.)
3. Ask students whether they consider such topics important and why.
4. The teacher may also ask whether students have any ideas about themselves
and about how to get along with others. This serves as warm up discussion.
5. Administer material 1 and ask students to discuss the result in groups (cf.
discussion questions). The teacher may also ask group representatives to
present the results of their discussions to the whole class.
3
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
6. Discuss specifically with students:
a) whether they have a good understanding of themselves;
b) whether self-understanding is important;
c) how they can get to understand themselves better.
7. Give students material 2 and ask them to read it at home. Students are asked
to write a brief reflection on the discussion questions of material 2 for class
discussion in the next lesson.
Lesson 2 & 3
1. Begin the class with group discussions of the questions in material 2. The
teacher asks group representatives to present the main points of their
discussions to the whole class.
2. Summarize the main points of the discussions and material 2 with an
explanation on the nature of self-concept.
3. Administer material 3 and material 4. Briefly explain the objectives of the
Johari Window and guide students to draw it.
4. Students conduct the activity and engage in group discussions.
5. Discussion (cf. material 3 for the questions and guidelines).
6. Distribute material 4 to students and explain the activity.
7. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have learnt and
experienced from the activities and material 4. They should show whether
they have come to understand more about themselves.
8. If possible, encourage students to draw the Johari Window with their family or
friends and then record the responses and their own feelings in the reflective
journal.
Lesson 4
1. After summarizing the importance of self-understanding through social
interaction, shift the focus to how society’s views affect a person sees himself
or herself.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Present material 5 (video) and organise students for group discussions.
Discuss questions in material 5.
After discussion of material 5, present students with material 6.
Ask students whether they observe anything similar in society.
6. Discuss questions in material 6.
4
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
7. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have learnt and
experienced from the activities and materials. Write specifically on the
personal discussion topics in material 5 and material 6. Students are also
encouraged to write about their personal experiences.
8. Briefly explain what is going to be discussed in the coming class (material 7).
9. Give material 7 to students and ask them to read it before class. Make sure
they do it because it is vital for the coming class discussion.
10. Depending on time and student ability and interests, students are asked to read
also the optional article appended to material 7.
11. Ask students to bring 1-2 favorite books (stories) (even comics will do) which
have influenced their growth, values and self-understanding or given them
important insights.
12. Ask them to prepare an introduction of why these books or stories are their
favorite.
13. The teacher is also encouraged to bring his or her own favorite books to class
for sharing.
Lesson 5
1. Remind students that reading can be a way in understanding oneself.
2. Begin the class with group sharing about favorite books (stories). (Some
students may be asked to introduce their favorite books to the whole class).
3. Discuss the questions in material 7.
4. Try to build up a favorite book list for your class. Ask each student to write a
brief introduction for his or her selection.
5. Encourage students to set up reading groups.
5
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 1
Type of material: Activity
Main Theme
Description of self; compare how people (of different age, gender and culture)
describe themselves differently
Instructions
1. Take a blank sheet of paper.
2. Write down 20 statements which start with “I” or “I am” in 3 minutes. (cf. next
page for the format.) You may describe yourself in the following ways: “I am
pretty.”; “I am a F.4 student.”
3. Ask some other people such as your brothers or friends to do the same exercise.
4. Compare how their descriptions of themselves differ from yours.
Discussion
1. Do you have difficulty describing yourself? What makes it difficult?
2. Do you think there will be differences between your self-statements and that of a
young boy/girl (e.g. age 10) in Hong Kong with similar upbringing as yours?
3. Do you think there will be differences between your self-statements and that of an
English adolescent who is about your age?
4. What factors affect the way people understand themselves? How does
self-understanding affect and guide behaviour and development?
6
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Name: _____________
I (am) ______________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
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I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
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I __________________________________________________________________
I __________________________________________________________________
7
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 2
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Themes
What is self-concept?
What elements constitute self-concept?
How does a person improve or change his/her self-concept?
Article
Self-concept, simply speaking, is our views about ourselves, including
how we understand, feel and evaluate ourselves. People with clear self-concepts,
i.e., knowing the kinds of persons they are as well as their own strengths and
limitations, usually have high self-esteem. There are four major components of a
self- concept:
1.
Physical: Am I happy with my gender? My appearance? My physical
ability?
2.
Academic: How am I doing in school? Am I smart?
3.
4.
Social: What is the relationship between me and others, and between me
and society?
Transpersonal: Is there anything beyond human reality such as God?
What is my relation with God?
Self-concept is dynamic. It changes with time and experience and is to a
large extent learned. Those who are close to us, such as family and peers, usually
play an important role in shaping our self-concepts. Self-concept changes with
experiences because our understanding of ourselves grows with experience. Of
course, experience can mislead too. If I am not particularly smart but I always
compare myself with people who are even less intelligent than I, I will have the
impression that I am very bright.
8
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Though dynamic, self-concept does enjoy a kind of stability. Without any
stability, the self will be incomprehensible. When new experiences challenge our
self-concepts, we feel threatened. Some would deny these experiences so as to
protect their self-concepts. For example, a person who regards himself/herself a
good singer might, after losing in a singing contest, think the adjudicators are
unfair even if that is not the case.
Reference:
Huitt, W. Self-Concept and Self-Esteem. May 1998
<http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/self.html>
Purkey, W. An Overview of Self-Concept Theory for Counselors. 1998. ERIC Clearinghouse on
Counseling and Personnel Services, Ann Arbor, Mich. (An ERIC/CAPS Digest: ED304630)
<http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/files/selfconc.html>
Discussion
1. What is the nature and characteristics of self-concept?
2. What elements constitute self-concept?
3. How does a person develop self-concept?
Reflection
1. What aspects of yourself do you know and like most? Why?
2. Which part of yourself is something you don’t want others to know? Why?
3. Do you think you and your classmates share in the same things about which you
don’t want others to know?
4. What is your ideal self and real self?
5. Have you tried to do anything to improve your self-concept? How? What have
been the results? What did you feel in the process? Was your attempt in improving
your self-concept prompted by particular events?
Note: Ask students to read and discuss the following article in this or other sections if you
find the material relevant and if time allows.
黃惠惠。《自我與人際溝通》。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996，頁 51-64。
9
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 3
Type of material: Activity
Main Theme
Drawing your “Johari Window”
Objectives
Use the Johari Window to enhance self-understanding through the eyes of others and
through social interaction. (cf. material 4 for an explanation of the Johari Window.)
Instructions
1. Give a mini-lecture on the Johari Window and its dynamic characteristics. Explain
to students that the exercise is highly personal and sensitive. It might disclose the
dark sides of a personality. In a group setting, trust, support, understanding and
tolerance are called for among participants.
2. Distribute to each student a blank card and ask them to:
a) draw a Johari Window on the card;
b) cross out the unknown section;
c) write down three personal positive characteristics that he/she thinks other
people in the room know about (open area);
d) write down three personal positive characteristics that he/she thinks no one in
the room knows about (hidden area).
At this stage of the exercise, the blind area remains blank. Each student retains
his/her card.
3. Divide students into groups of five and give each group 5 more cards. Give the
following instructions: Working by yourself, write a group member’s name on the
front of each card (make one for yourself also). Turn the card over and write down
two positive characteristics of the person whose name appears on the front. On
your own card, write down two positive characteristics you think the other group
members do not know about but which you want them to know.
4. Ask each group to collect the cards, shuffle them and place them with the names
face down in a pile at the center of the group.
10
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
5. One by one, each student takes a card, reads the descriptions and decides with the
entire group to whom the card belongs. The card is then placed in front of that
person with the name still face down. This procedure is repeated until all the cards
have been distributed.
6. One by one, the students turn over the cards they have been given. If the given
card does not belong to him/her, it should be turned over to the person to whom
the card is intended.
7. Discussion within the group:
a) Each person describes his/her reaction.
b) Are the cards given to the “right” or “wrong” person?
c) Are the descriptions on the cards accurate for whom they are intended?
8. Each person works independently and classifies the characteristics from the card
into the open, hidden or blind areas of his/her Johari Window. Ask students to pay
special attention to the characteristics that are in their blind area.
Guidelines for discussion
1. Ask the students whether the cards assigned to them fit their own expectations.
2. Ask the students whether there is any discrepancy between the self as perceived
by themselves and that as perceived by others. Explain why this often happens.
(Note: There are different aspects in a person. Seemingly contradictory
descriptions can be both true. For example, a person can be described as both
smart and dumb because, say, he/she is academically brilliant but quite incapable
of handling interpersonal relations.)
3. Discuss the characteristics shown in the Johari Windows of different students.
4. Allow some time for the group to express their thoughts and feelings towards the
activity.
5. After the activity, the teacher explains the characteristics in different Johari
Windows and discusses whether there is an “ideal” type of Johari Window.
6. Emphasize to students that social interaction is an important way to
self-understanding also.
11
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 4
Type of material: Article
Main Theme
Discussing the Johari Window
The Johari Window
The Johari Window is a tool devised by Joe Luft and Harry Ingham to help
people to better understand themselves and, more particularly, to see how much they
disclose themselves to oneself and to others. The Johari Window is composed of four
areas – Open, Hidden, Blind and Unknown.
Known to Self
Known
others
Unknown to Self
to OPEN to self
and others
Unknown
to others
BLIND to self,
seen by others
HIDDEN from
others
UNKNOWN to
Self and others
There are four types of characteristics in people in terms of the Johari Window:
1. Open dominant characteristic
Known
Unknown
to Self
to Self
Known to
OPEN
others
BLIND
Unknown
to others
UNKNOWN
HIDDEN
12
Open to others, trustful,
effective communication
and good mutual
understanding with others.
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
2. Unknown dominant characteristic
Known
to Self
Unknown
to Self
Known to
OPEN
others
BLIND
Unknown
to others
UNKNOWN
HIDDEN
Uncommunicative, rigid,
mutual distrustful, one-way or
task-oriented communication
exists only.
3. Hidden dominant characteristic
Known
to Self
Unknown
to Self
Known to
OPEN
others
Unknown
to others
BLIND
Distrustful of others, insecure,
negative self-concept, breakdown of
HIDDEN
UNKNOWN
communication and build-up of
distrust and anxiety likely.
4. Blind dominant characteristic
Known to
others
Unknown
to others
Known
to Self
Unknown
to Self
OPEN
BLIND
HIDDEN
UNKNOWN
Unwilling to listen to others, pride,
tend to invite “selective feedback,”
giving rise to anxiety, resentment,
and defensiveness on the part of the
parties involved.
13
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
What are you to do with your Johari window?
Luft and Ingham suggest that it takes energy to hide information from yourself and
from others. Therefore, the bigger the blind, the hidden and the unknown areas, the
more energy has been wasted, and the more difficult it is for a person to lead a healthy
life. So, once your Johari window is drawn, it is advisable for you to expand your
“open” area.
Reference:
Practical Psychology for Everyday Life.
<http://hk.geocities.com/sanaakito/psycho5a.html>
14
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 5
Type of Material: Local TV show
香港電台。<謝絕標籤 – 青少年的報導>。《U 時段》。2002 年 8 月 20 日。
Extract
1. The program discusses certain stereotypes of young people such as young night
drifters and jobless school leavers. Youngsters talk about their negative feelings
towards such stereotyping and suggest a more positive attitude. Social workers
worry about self-fulfilling prophecies. [A self-fulfilling prophecy is an assertion
about somebody or something. Affected by the assertion, people move in a
direction that makes the assertion true. For instance, a person who asserts that s/he
has no talent whatsoever in arts may therefore avoid any participation in artistic
activities and thus really become totally ignorant of arts. In this way, it looks like
that the prophecy does come true. Actually, the belief in the prophecy held by the
person makes it so.] (Time period: 04:32~12:00, about 8 minutes)
2. Teenagers respond to newspaper reports on adolescents and a newspaper editor
gives his feedback. (Time period: 12:00~16:52, about 5 minutes)
Main Theme
The negative effects of labeling youths (標籤雙失、邊緣青年)
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
How does society view a person? Are there any standards society uses to judge
anyone single person? How does society view a youngster? Are there any
stereotypes for young people?
Are there positive and negative effects in labelling?
How can we resist the negative effects of labelling by others?
15
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 6
Type of Material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
The negative effects of labelling by society – students in schools with Chinese as the
medium of instructions (CMI) and students in schools with English as the medium of
instruction (EMI)
Article
After implementing the policy of using Chinese as the medium of instruction
in 1998, the Education Department contracted the Chinese University of Hong
Kong to conduct a research to track the academic results of 100 secondary
schools. The research indicates that students in secondary schools with Chinese
as the medium of instruction (CMI) performs much better than students at
secondary schools with English as the medium of instruction (EMI) in subjects
such as science and social studies. However, if given a chance to choose, many
students of CMI would still prefer EMI schools. It is also found that students of
CMI schools generally have poorer self-images than those of EMI schools.
Contrarily, students of EMI schools perform much better and are proud of their
performance in English Language. Professor Tsang Wing-kwong, the principal
investigator of the research, believes that this is a result of society’s labelling of
CMI and EMI schools and their students. Educators urge that the demarcation
between EMI and CMI schools be abandoned.
Prefer EMI schools
Prefer CMI schools
Students in EMI schools
68.7%
9.9%
Students in top CMI schools
36.6%
23.8%
Students in average CMI schools
31.5%
30.3%
Students in CMI schools with
weaker performance
22.0%
39.4%
Sources:
Apple Daily, 27 – 29 December 2002.
Hong Kong Daily News, 29 December 2002.
16
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Discussion
1. Why is the self-concept of students in CMI schools lower then those in EMI
schools?
2. How does society view students of CMI schools?
3. Are there any positive and negative effects in the labeling of schools?
4. How do we resist the negative effects of labelling?
Reflection
1. Have you ever been labelled by people? Do you like it? Why?
2. How do the labels affect your behaviour?
3. Have you tried to create a label, positive or negative of yourself before other
people? Why?
4. Have you tried to label other people? Why do you do that? How do they feel (or
what do you think they feel)?
5. Can you suggest a real case of self-fulfilling prophecy?
17
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 7
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Know yourself and grow through reading
Article
Reading and personal growth
Reading is important for personal growth because it enlarges and enriches
our inner world. Personal experience is always limited. Nobody can go around
the entire universe and examine every single event by oneself. Reading enables
us to reach areas where we cannot go, and experience what we cannot experience
first hand.
Some may think that in the world of the multimedia, reading has become
less important. But they are wrong. Take visual images as an example. They may
be very impressive, but they limit our imagination and thinking. Images alone
seldom reveal effectively the complex world of emotion, reason and the human
spirit.
Reading changes our lives. In the process of reading, we absorb messages
and in the long run these messages will be internalized. In other words, digested
and filtered by our own independent thinking, messages will become our own
thoughts and feelings, rather than something alien to us. When we read about
lives that are different but comparable to ours, we inevitably compare them with
our own, forming new ideas and thoughts which help shape our lives.
It is not only books that play such a role in our lives. Other narratives, such
as movies, do the same too. There is a world in a book, and there is a world in
any work of narrative. Reviewing what you have read and what you have
watched, you broaden your horizons. And this will help us grow and be mature.
Reference:
區祥江。《生命軌跡：助人成長的十個關鍵》
。香港：突破出版社，2000。
18
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Discussion
1. How does reading help one grow and know oneself better?
2. What are the special characteristics that make reading so unique and different
from telling and listening to stories?
3. It is said that reading can help us form our values. Do you agree? Why?
4. Do you have any favorite books (fictions or comics) that had helped you to know
more about yourself and grow? If yes, share the books with your classmates and
explain why these books are so inspiring to you.
5. Do you agree with the author? Do you have other suggestions to help us grow?
Follow-up Activities (optional)
1. Ask your classmates, teachers or parents to recommend one or two books which
have fundamentally affected them or are their favorites. Invite them to elaborate
on their views and feelings towards these books.
2. Make up a “favorite book list” of your class. Categorize the favorite books.
3. Make your own reading plans. Ask your teacher/class/school to set up some
reading programs or reading groups.
Note: Teacher may also ask students to read and discuss the following article if they find the
material relevant and if time allows.
梁柏堅。<閱讀的成長 成長的閱讀>。出自區祥江著，
《生命軌跡：助人成長的十大關鍵》
。
香港：突破出版社，2000，頁 110-114。
19
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Suggested questions for enquiry
How did the process and background of growth shape the person?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Understand how the process and background of growth shape the person;
b) Explore how the following factors affect one’s growth and shape one’s values
and behaviour:
- Culture;
- Family/parenting style;
- Gender role;
-
Religious background.
ii) Duration:
about 1 lesson
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. Give a brief explanation of the four common parenting styles. (cf. material 8.)
2. Discuss whether there is an ideal parenting style for all children and parents. If
there is an ideal style, what is it? Why?
3. Discuss the questions in material 8.
4. Discuss specifically how parenting styles and the children’s relationship with
parents can be improved.
5. Homework: Ask students to write down their reflections on the materials
discussed and provide possible ways to improve relationships with parents.
20
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 8
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
How parenting style affects the development of children
Article
Style of Parenting
Psychologists divide parenting styles into four types, depending on the degree
of demand and control and the degree of acceptance and rejection:
Authoritarian (high demand, low acceptance)
Authoritative (high demand, high acceptance)
Permissive (low demand, high acceptance)
Neglecting (low demand, low acceptance)
The Authoritarian Type
Children growing up in authoritarian families – with high levels of demand
and control but relatively low levels of warmth or responsiveness – often have
difficulties in getting along with others. Some appear subdued; others are too
aggressive and easily go out of control. “Out of control” children usually come
from authoritarian families that provide no guidances for their children, while
subdued children usually come from authoritarian families with too strict
principles. They perform less well in school and have lower self-esteem than
children of authoritative families.
21
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
The Authoritative Type
Authoritative parents set clear limits and firm rules but also respond to the
children’s individual and emotional needs. Children from authoritative families
usually have higher self-esteem, are more independent but at the same time more
able to cooperate with parents and other people. They are self-confident,
achievement-oriented in school and get better grades. Communications between
parents and children are adequate and effective. Strong emotional bonds are
established within the family.
The Permissive Type
Permissive parents do not enforce firm rules in their daily child rearing
practices. Children from permissive families do slightly worse in school, are
more aggressive, and tend to be less mature. They are less likely to accept
responsibility and are less independent.
The Neglecting Type
Neglecting parents neither control nor care about their children. More often
than not, parents of this style are themselves troubled by problems they fail to
face or solve. Children from neglecting families show disturbing signs in their
relationships with peers and with adults. They tend to be more impulsive and
antisocial, less competent with their peers, and much less achievement oriented in
school.
Reference:
Bee, Helen. The Growing Child. New York: HarperCollins College Publishers, 1995.
22
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Discussion
1. What are the differences between these styles of parenting? Is there an ideal
parenting style for all children and parents? If yes, which parenting style is ideal?
Why?
2. Which parenting style is commonly found in our culture?
3. Which parenting style is commonly found in Western culture?
4. Which parenting style is better?
5. Do you expect children from these two cultures to behave differently in the same
situation? Why? Please be specific.
(If students do not have any experience in interacting with children from other
cultural background, help them think about the questions with reference to
television or other observations.)
Reflection
1. What is the parenting style of your parents? Do you like it and feel comfortable
with it?
2. Why do your parents adopt this style of parenting?
3. What parenting style do you prefer that they adopt? Have you ever discussed your
idea of the “ideal” parenting style with your parents?
4. Have you ever requested more freedom and right of decision-making from your
parents? Have you requested too much or too little? Why?
5. Try to talk to your parents about what you have learnt in this section. Try to
understand their concerns, their difficulties and constraints.
23
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Suggested questions for enquiry
How should one perceive one’s own strengths and limitations? How does one’s
aspiration for the future influence the way one lives?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Understand how we evaluate our own selves;
b) Understand how our self-evaluation relates to self-acceptance;
c) Understand how our hopes for the future relate to our present lives;
d) Understand how to set up goals.
ii) Duration:
about 2 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. Divide students into small groups and conduct the activity in material 9.
2. Refer to material 9 for detailed instructions.
3. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have learnt and
experienced from the activity and discussions. Write specifically on whether
they have come to understand more about themselves and how they would
face their strengths and weaknesses.
4. Give students material 10 and ask them to read it at home.
Lesson 2
1. Discuss the questions in material 10 in groups or with the whole class.
2. After the discussion, introduce the activity in material 11 (Time Capsule).
3. Set long term (1 year) and short-term (3 or 6 months) goals. (If the teacher
expects to teach the same class from F.4-F.5, the long term goal may apply for
2 years.)
4. Provide enough time for students to think about their goals.
5. Collect the cards and put them in the “time capsule”. Keep the time capsule in
a safe place.
6. Open the box on the deadline.
24
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 9
Type of Material: Activity
Main Theme
Self-recognition; acceptance of recognition from others
Self-admiration Activities – Merit bombarding
Instructions
1. Divide students into groups of 5-6. Put students with good relationships into the
same groups.
2. In each round, one student is bombarded by other students with his/her merits.
The student remains silent and listen, while others name his/her many merits.
3. Students have to note that no negative comments are allowed.
4. One student in the game should record all the merits mentioned in the bombarding,
and give the list to the bombarded student at the end of the round.
Reference:
Canfield, Jack and Harold C. Wells. 100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept in the Classroom. Boston:
Allyn and Bacon, 1994.
Discussion
1. Are you proud of anything about yourself? Share what you find worth about
yourself.
2. Is there anybody in your life who makes you feel proud to be yourself?
3. What do you feel when you are being bombarded?
4. How do you react when someone says “I am proud of you” or “I appreciate …” or
“you are really great in …”?
5. How do you view your strengths? Do you mind sharing your strengths with others?
Do you want others to know your strengths? Why?
6. How do you view your weaknesses? Do you mind sharing your weaknesses with
others? Do you want others to know your weaknesses? Why?
7. How do you usually react when your friends share with you their strengths and
weaknesses?
8. What is your attitude towards your friend’s weaknesses and towards your own
weaknesses? Do you react differently?
25
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Extended discussion
1. People tend to recognize mainly their own weaknesses and faults when evaluating
themselves. Do you have this tendency too? Why?
2. Has this inclination anything to do with our culture which values humility?
3. How do your parents react when someone praises you in front of them?
4. Do your parents praise you when you have done something great? Why? Do you
feel good if they keep praising you?
5. What is the ideal way to be a parent? How does parenting affect the children’s
views of themselves?
6. Is there any conflict between self-confidence and humility?
26
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 10
Type of material: Article
Main Theme
Understanding developmental tasks
Article
Understanding Developmental Task
According to Robert Havighurst, professor of psychology at the University
of Chicago, personal growth is determined by two clocks.
First, we have the biological clock. Growth and the accompanying changes
are closely related to biological age. A teenage boy with a small body would be
under great pressure from his peers. The biological clock, in this sense, sets some
developmental indicators for our growth.
Second, we have the socio-cultural clock. In Hong Kong today, society
usually expects a person to have a steady job by the late twenties. Korean
tradition expects a woman to quit her job after marriage to concentrate on taking
care of the family. But a socio-cultural clock changes with time. Today, more
and more Korean women choose to continue with their career after marriage and
they are now under much less pressure from society than they were ten years ago.
Havighurst believes that developmental tasks provide the best way to understand
growth. Developmental tasks are tasks set by the biological and socio-cultural
clocks, tasks that must be accomplished by us at certain stages in our lives. If we
fail to accomplish them, they will become obstacles to our next stage of growth.
27
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
There are 11 developmental tasks for adolescents as listed below:
1. Adolescents undergo rapid and profound physical changes, and so they must
adjust to a new physical sense of self.
2. Adolescents experience a sudden increase in their ability to think and
understand abstractions. They must adjust to new intellectual abilities.
3. Adolescents in high school are expected to prepare themselves for adult roles
and responsibilities and for further education. Thus, they must adjust to
increased cognitive demands at school.
4. It is also necessary for teenagers to enhance their language ability in order to
express themselves to take in more complicated concepts and handle difficult
tasks.
5. Adolescents are beginning to recognize their uniqueness and separation from
parents. They have to develop a sense of personal identity.
6. As part of the process of establishing a personal identity, they must also begin
to establish adult vocational goals; they have to ask themselves what they
want to do when they grow up.
7. Adolescents must establish emotional and psychological independence from
their parents.
8. It is necessary for adolescents to develop a stable and productive relationship
with their peers. To be able to make friends and have an accepting peer group
is a major factor in determining how well the adolescent will grow in other
areas of social and psychological development.
9. They need to learn to manage their sexual drives and sex roles.
10. They need to build up a value system for themselves.
11. They need to develop impulse control and behavioral maturity.
References:
Gary M. Ingersoll. Developmental Tasks of Normal Adolescence,
<http://education.indiana.edu/cas/devtask.html>
區祥江。《生命軌跡：助人成長的十大關鍵》
。香港：突破出版社，2000。
28
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Discussion
1. What are the specific tasks that you are going to accomplish within the coming
one or two years?
2. Are there any specific skills that you need to master in order to accomplish your
goal?
3. Is this stage of your life (S4-5) special to you? Have you encountered anything
like it before?
4. How did you go through the years as far as you can remember? What have you
mastered and accomplished?
5. Can you think of your life, 5 years from now? What do you expect? Do you have
specific plans for the coming 5 years?
29
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material 11
Type of Material: Activity
Make up a “Time Capsule” for you class
1. Write down your short-term or long-term goals and put them in the “time
capsule”.
2. The goals can be academic, social, personal or whatever you want to achieve.
3. Try to set goals that are concrete, measurable and achievable.
4. You can also write down something that you want to change or improve, e.g.
improve self-esteem, communication skills or relationship with classmates.
5. Be serious and thoughtful when you write down your goals.
6. Decide on a time when you will all open the box. It can be 2 months, half a year, 1
year or 2 years.
7. How do you feel about setting a goal?
Discussion (after you have opened the box)
1. What have you done to achieve the goals you set ___ months/years ago?
2. Have you forgotten the goals you set in the beginning?
3. How do you feel about setting a goal?
4. Do you think differently now after this period of time?
30
Key Point b
Self-esteem and recognition by others
31
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Suggested questions for enquiry
What is the worth of a person? By what standards does modern society evaluate a
person? Are these standards worth identifying with? How does the recognition of
others influence one’s values and behaviours?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Explore how the worth of a person is determined;
b) Recognize and criticize the criteria our society uses to judge the worth of its
members;
c) Discuss how the values of society and people and ours shape our behaviours;
d) Discuss the importance of forming one’s own values.
ii) Duration:
about 3 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. Provide material 12 to students before this subsection begins, and ask them to
read it before coming to class.
2. To begin this subsection, teacher provides a brief summary for what has been
discussed (e.g. how we develop self-awareness), and introduces the purposes
of this subsection.
3. Discuss the questions in material 12 in small groups.
4. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they feel and think about the
article in the material. Write specifically on whether they agree with the
claims.
5. Answer the questions in the journal: “What’s the worth of a person?” and
“What do people strive for in their lives?”
32
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Lesson 2
1. Summarize what has been discussed in the last lesson (i.e. the worth of a
person). Ask students to share what they have written in their reflective journal
from the previous class.
2. Ask students to read material 13 in class. Organise group discussions on the
questions in the material.
3. Encourage class discussion on the three main themes in the material (i.e.
money, forgiveness and a perfect day), and summarize the discussions.
4. Ask students to go back to their groups and discuss the extended discussion
topics.
5. Ask group representatives to present the results of their discussions.
Lesson 3
1. Begin the class with a brief summary of the discussions on “the worth of a
person”.
2. Inform the class that the focus for the next lesson is on recognition by others.
3. Ask some warm up questions as:
a) By what standard does modern society evaluate a person?
b) Do you agree with these standards?
c) How does recognition by others influence a person’s values, behaviour and
self-concept?
4. Present material 14 (video) and arrange for group discussions.
5. If time allows, review material 6 and recall the discussions. Use material 6 as
a case study on the effects of recognition by others on a person’s values and
behaviour.
6. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they feel and think about the
video. Also write down their thoughts on the discussion questions.
33
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 12
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Market orientation and the influence of the value of capitalism in our society.
Article
What we call “capitalism” is an idea which emphasizes material goods,
production and personal interest, etc. It has very much molded the way our
society has developed. With the influence of capitalism, people tend to deal with
problems from an economic and financial point of view. Relations with people
are understood in terms of wealth and money values. Fromm believes that
capitalism has distorted the human values.
Marketing orientation has become a dominant force in the modern era. While
barter is one of the oldest of economic mechanisms, the traditional local market
is very different from the market developed in modern capitalism. A local market
offers an opportunity to meet for the purpose of exchanging goods. Producers
and customers become acquainted. They are relatively small in number. The
demand is more or less known, so that the producer can produce for a specific
demand.
The modern market is no longer a meeting place but a mechanism
characterized by abstract and impersonal demand. One produces for this market,
not for a known circle of customers, but for the laws of supply and demand. The
market determines what commodity can be sold and at what price.
The regulatory function of the market has a profound influence on the
character formation of the urban middle class and, through the latter’s social and
cultural influence, on the whole population. The market concept of value, the
emphasis on exchange value rather than on use, has led to a similar concept of
value with regard to people and self. A person experiences oneself as a
commodity and sees one’s value in terms of exchange value. This is called the
marketing orientation.
34
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
So people of the modern era begin to evaluate themselves in material or
monetary terms. They see themselves in terms of income, wealth, and property
instead of integrity, morals, or relations with family and friends. The values in
the first set are tangible and exchangeable in the market, while those in the
second set are not. People believe that since this is the way they are being
evaluated by others, they should evaluate others in the same way too. Gradually,
people lost sight of values other than self-interest and material goods.
People begin to evaluate interpersonal relationship in the same manner, be it
between friends or spouse. When one meets a new friend, what s/he cares most is
the economic value of this person. (Is s/he an important figure in our company?
Can s/he help me increase my turnover? Is s/he a potential client of mine?) And it
does not matter what kind of person s/he is, and what s/he enjoys most or takes
interest in. When they look for a spouse, they think of the same thing: If a boy
gets a girlfriend with quality better or equal to his, he is fully satisfied. But if he
believes that he is qualified for a better girlfriend, he will not be willing to keep
the relationship with her.
Reference:
Fromm, Erich. Man for Himself: an inquiry into the psychology of ethics. New York: H. Holt,
1990, 1947.
Fromm, Erich. The Art of Loving. London: Unwin Paperbacks, 1975.
郭永玉。《孤立無援的現代人 – 佛洛姆的人本精神分析》
。台北：貓頭鷹，2000。
Note to teacher: This article can also be used for section 2c—“Building Relationship”.
Discussion
1. How does modern society value (dehumanize) its members?
2. How does market orientation shape and influence behaviour?
3. Is this an accepted and inevitable reality? Why?
4. How can we change the situation?
35
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Extended discussion
1. “What is the worth of an object?” and “What is the worth of a person?”
There are at least two approaches to the above questions:
a) Treat the word “worth” to mean “market value” and take humans as objects.
b) Treat the word “worth” to mean “intrinsic value”, understood as that which should be
pursued, and treasured in human beings.
2. Are there any differences between the focuses and answers of 1(a) and 1(b)?
[Note for teachers:
a) Bring out the difference between the value of an object and of a person.
b) Bring out the fact that modern society judges people by their “market value” because
of the influence of capitalism.]
3. Why is it so impolite to ask someone how much salary s/he makes in a month?
[Note for teachers:
Bring out the fact that our society often uses financial status as an important way to define
a person.]
36
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 13
Type of material: Article with discussion
Main Theme
How an old man faces death and his retrospections about life
Article
Extract 1
In the autumn of 1994, Morrie, a professor in sociology, learned from his
doctor that he had a disease that would make his muscle and nervous system
deteriorate. The disease would not kill him immediately but would weaken the
functioning of his muscle and body gradually until he died.
“[This disease] is like a lit candle: it melts your nerves and leaves your body
a pile of wax. Often, it begins with the legs and works its way up. You lose
control of your thigh muscles, so that you cannot sit up straight. By the end, if
you are still alive, you are breathing through a tube in a hole in your throat, while
your soul, perfectly awake, is imprisoned inside a limp husk, perhaps able to
think, or cluck a tongue, like something from a science fiction movie, the man
frozen inside his own flesh. This takes no more than five years from the day you
have the disease.
Morrie’s doctors guessed he had two years left. Morrie knew it was less. But
my old professor had made a profound decision, one he began to construct the
day he came out of the doctor’s office with a sword hanging over his head. Do I
either give up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left?”
Morrie chose the latter.
Soon he met a former student of his, later the author of Tuesday with Morrie,
Mitch Album. They promised to meet every Tuesday to talk about the secret of
human life. Below are a few passages from their conversations. You may reflect
on human life and values with the help of these conversations.
Discussion
1. Does human life have a purpose? What are we searching for in our lives?
2. What do we really value most?
37
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Extract 2
I held up the newspaper so that Morrie could see it: “I Don’t Want My
Tombstone To Read I Never Owned A Network!” Morrie laughed, then shook
his head … The quote was from Ted Turner, the billionaire media mogul,
founder of CNN … “We’ve got a form of brainwashing going on in our country,”
Morrie sighed. “Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat
something over and over. And that’s what we do in this country. Owning things
is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is
good. More is good. More is good.”
Discussion
3. Is this also your value system, your peers’, and Hong Kong society as a whole?
Extract 3
Morrie points out that those who believe “more is good” are people so
hungry for love that they are accepting substitutes. Among the people who collect
photography, audio-equipments, etc, some project their affections onto inanimate
objects, while keeping a distance from their fellow human beings and from
matters of concern to them. But the fact remains material things cannot take the
place of love, friendship and family. They are phantoms, incapable of giving true
satisfaction.
Morrie further points out that there is a big confusion over what we want
versus what we need. What we need is really not that much; but we want much
much more. In the world of consumerism and commercialism, our wants increase
endlessly; we can never be satisfied.
Discussion
4. Do you agree with Morrie? Why? Will you or your friends become like the kind
of people described by Morrie?
38
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Extract 4
Morrie believes that true satisfaction springs from one’s own mind and not
the external world. True satisfaction is possible only through giving, sacrificing,
feeding the starving, caring for the lonely, and making the miserable smile. Give
yourself to those who are in need and you will be happy and you will learn to be
satisfied. Thus says Morrie.
Discussion
5. Do you agree with Morrie? Have you tried to give yourself to those who are in
need? What do you feel at the moment? Could you share this with your
classmates?
Reference:
Albom, Mitch. Tuesdays with Morrie: an old man, a young man, and life’s greatest lesson. New York:
Doubleday, 1997.
Reflection
1. What is the meaning of life for you?
2. Is there anything in your life you treasure very much?
3. Would you change your way of life if you learn that you have only one more year
to live? In what way?
4. What would you strive for after you learn that you have only one more year to live?
How do your choices reflect your values?
39
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 14
Types of materials: Local TV show
香港電台。<准我衰一次>。《完全學生手冊》。2002 年 4 月 20 日。
(Time Period : 0:00~10:14; 10 minutes)
Summary
Growing up is a process filled with curiosity and excitement. In the process of
growing up, teenagers try to form their own thoughts and personalities. However,
when their behaviour fails to gain acceptance from others, especially from adults, they
might well be regarded as wrong. But is right and wrong easy to determine? Punching
holes in the ear, dying the hair, masturbation, curiosity about sex: all these are just
natural. What is the big deal when our own kids do it? The story begins with a
daughter punching a hole in each of her ears in order to be fashionable, and dye her
hair blonde in order to catch the attention of the guy she is crazy about. And the son,
small and curious, about sex, brings home a pornographic VCD, experiencing an
arousal. How should dad and mom respond? How do they view these matters? Let us
see whether the kids are able to cope.
Discussion
1. How would people regard you if you dye your hair blonde? Is the label you are
likely to receive reasonable? Why?
2. Does labelling cause positive or negative effects?
3. Do you agree with what the girl in the show did?
Reflection
1. If you are allowed to be “rebellious” once, what would you do?
2. Would you consider other people’s values when you decide to do something?
Why?
3. To what extent have your parents or society given you freedom to live as you like?
4. On the other hand, to what extent have your parents or society been forcing you to
conform to them?
5. Do you think balancing freedom and conformity is reasonable? Why or why not?
40
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Suggested questions for enquiry
What significance does self-esteem have to the well-being of a person? How does a
person with high self-esteem behave?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Understand the nature of self-esteem;
b) Understand and discuss the significance of high self-esteem to the
psychological well-being of a person;
c) Discuss how high-esteem persons and low-esteem persons behave.
ii) Duration:
about 3 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Before lesson 1
Ask students to record moments when they feel good or bad about themselves in
two weeks time before lesson 3 (e.g. getting high grades in exam or losing a sports
competition). Give the details. Ask students to share their journal in Lesson 3.
Lesson 1
1. Begin by summarizing the discussions about the worth of a person and
standards adopted by society to evaluate a person. Then briefly introduce the
concept of self-esteem.
2. Begin the class by referring to the concept of self-esteem and ask students
what they think about their level of self-esteem and why.
3. Ask students to do the self-assessment exercise in material 15 and work out
the score according to the instructions.
4. Discuss the results and questions in groups. Ask some students to present their
views. Summarize the importance of self-esteem in their growth.
5. Remind students that self-esteem is subjective and malleable. This means
there are ways to work on our self-concept and self-esteem. Teacher may refer
to the following for details: 黃惠惠。《自我與人際溝通》。台北：張教師文
化事業股份有限公司，1996，頁 52-64。
6. Give material 16 to students to read.
41
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
7. If time allows, conduct small group discussions (cf. the discussion topics of
material 16). If time does not allow, ask students to reflect on the discussion
questions at home and write down their views as homework
Lesson 2
1. Conduct material 17 according to the instructions.
2. Ask students to discuss the questions in groups and then present their views to
the class.
3. Summarize the effects of “uppers” and “downers” of self-image.
4. Ask students to do the homework in material 17.
5. Conduct the game according to the instructions in material 18.
6. Discuss the questions in the material.
Lesson 3
1. Ask students to do the assessment exercise in material 19 and work out the
scores according to the instructions.
2. Students discuss the questions in groups and then present their views to the
class.
3. Distribute material 20 to students.
4. If time allows, conduct small group discussions (cf. the discussion topics of
material 20). If time does not allow, ask students to reflect on the discussion
questions at home and write down their views as homework. Write specifically
about ways to enhance self-affirmation and assertiveness.
5. Reminder: Ask students to share the journals about their good and bad
moments in the last week.
42
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 15
Type of material: Activity – Self-assessment with discussion
Main Theme
Be aware of our own self-assessment and learn to improve self-esteem
Instructions
Please read the following statements and decide how much you agree with them.
There are no right and wrong answers. The only thing that matters is that you need to
be true to yourself when you pick the answers.
Strongly Disagree Agree Strongly
Disagree
Agree
i.
I don’t feel comfortable when others
praise me.
ii.
There are no areas in which I am talented.
iii. I am able to deal with the problems in my
life.
iv. I like myself.
v.
I am not confident with my appearance.
vi. I often find many faults with myself.
vii. I am a nice person.
viii. I am willing to overcome my weaknesses.
ix. Overall speaking, I am no worse than
others.
Scoring
1. For the positive items, (item iii, iv, vii, viii & ix), just add up the score
2.
3.
4.
5.
(i.e. Strongly Disagree = 1; Disagree = 2; Agree =3, Strongly Agree =4).
For the negative items, (item i, ii, v & vi), reverse the score before adding them up
(i.e. Strongly Disagree= 4, Disagree =3, Agree=2, Strongly Agree =1).
Add up the two sub-total score and get the total score.
Divide the total with 9 and get the mean score.
Generally speaking, an average score of 3 is considered a desirable level of
self-esteem.
43
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Note:
Please regard this assessment tool as a means to understanding yourself rather than judging.
This means if students score low in the test, teacher should remind them that the results
should not harm their self-esteem and students should take this as a chance to reflect on how
they view themselves.
Discussion
1. Do you have a desirable level of self-esteem (high or low)?
2. What makes you think so?
3. Explore classmates with high and low self-esteem. Try to figure out what makes
the difference. Share your views with your classmates.
4. Can your self-esteem be improved? What can you do to improve your
self-esteem?
44
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 16
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
The nature and root of self-esteem
Article
Philosophers Li Tien-ming and Tang Chun-I believe that the trouble with
most people is that they fail to evaluate themselves properly, and they do not
understand their own worth. Some over-estimate themselves, believing that they
are stronger than others, and therefore they look down upon others and are unable
to get along. Li calls these people “bigheads.” On the other hand, there are people
who look down upon themselves, failing to recognise their own worth and
strengths. They believe that they are good for nothing and are not worth a penny.
Li calls these people “chickens.”
We need to reflect on the worthiness of our existence, and realize that we
are irreplaceable.
In terms of ability, says Li, we may not have some of the best qualities that
other may have (e.g., talent in verbal expression), but others may not have some
of my characters either (e.g., independence). Society may or may not appreciate
the qualities I have, but they are what make me unique.
This uniqueness is irreplaceable. The cleverest and most able persons cannot
replace me, for they cannot simply become me. However poor I am, I am who I
am, a unique person.
It is I alone who can be the center and subject of my world and this center is
unique within the entire universe. Without me, the universe will be different. I
thus come to know that I am indeed valuable in some fundamental sense.
45
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Imagine you are now asking your mom or other family members whether
they would accept it if somebody much smarter, more filial, more motivated for
success, and more moral, is to replace you as their son/daughter or brother/sister.
They might find it attractive at the outset. But soon they will find that, if that
should happen, they would have lost their very own family. Everybody has a set
of basic values, and this is a solid foundation for self-esteem.
References:
李天命、戎子由、梁沛霖合編。
《李天命的思考藝術》
。香港：明報出版社有限公司，2000。
唐君毅。《人生之體驗》。台北：學生書，1982。
Discussion
1. What do you think is the basis of self-esteem? Do you agree with the article?
2. Have you ever thought that you are a nobody and of no importance for the people
around you?
3. What makes you think like that? What’s your emotional state (i.e. positive or
negative; frustrated or unhappy) in these moments?
4. How does the above article address this problem of low self-esteem?
5. Do you find the article helpful?
Note to teachers
Teacher should try to guide student to think about how they view themselves. It must be
emphasized that a person’s worth does not depend on ability and achievement. The existence
and uniqueness of an individual person has an intrinsic value.
46
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 17
Type of material: Reflection with discussion
Main theme
Identifying “Uppers” & “Downers”
Instructions
Try to identify:


The “Uppers” (who say encouraging things to raise your self-esteem) and;
The “Downers” (who say depressing things to lower your self-esteem) in your
life.
1. Review your own life and decide who your “uppers” are?
2. How did s/he help you build a positive self-image? (S/he may or may not be an
important figure in your life. S/he may have met you once or twice only, but
somehow has had some positive impact on you.)
3. The following are some examples of “uppers”:
a) Eugene’s English teacher is an “upper” for her. Every time she reads a
paragraph in class, he smiles to her and says, “Well done.”
b) May’s husband is an “upper” for her. Every time she cooks dinner for the
family he enjoys the meal very much and appreciates her cooking skill.
4. Who are the “downers” in your life, people who tend to destroy your self-image?
a) Paul’s students are his “downers”. They always fall asleep in his class. Maybe
they are just tired, but he cannot help thinking that he is not doing a good job.
b) When Justin submits a report to his boss, the boss always responds with a
frown and her mouth tensely shut. Although the boss says nothing, the
unhappy look simply makes Justin very frustrated.
5. What are the effects of the “uppers” and the “downers” on you self-concept,
behaviour and on your present condition?
6. Reflect on yourself: have you been playing the roles of “uppers” and “downers”
for others as well? On what occasions? In what way have you influenced other
people ?
Reference:
黃惠惠。《自我與人際溝通》。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996。
47
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Discussion
1. How do you feel about the “uppers” and the “downers” in your life?
2. How do comments and feedback from “uppers” and “downers” differ?
(constructive vs. destructive)
3. How do you react when you interact with an “upper” and a “downer” in daily life?
4. Have you talked to yourself in an “upper” or “downer” manner? When? What
difference do they make to your psychological state?
Homework
Try to talk to the “uppers” and the “downers” you identify. Share with them and what
you have learnt about self-esteem. Discuss also the interactive style you have with
them.
48
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 18
Type of material: Game with discussion
Main Theme
Learn self-assertion through a game
Instructions
Game one
1. Divide the class into groups of four.
2. Ask each student to name no more than three people from real life or from fiction
whom s/he admires most. Students should then share in the group why they
admire these people, and compare these people with themselves. Each should then
make a small plan on how s/he can become like these models, then make a wish in
front of her/his group.
Game two
1. Divide the students into groups of four.
2. Every student takes turns to practise this: Each student makes 3 statements others
make about her/him which s/he finds unfair. Then, use the following sentence
structure to tell your group seriously and peacefully why the comments are wrong
and state your own views.
a. _____________ say(s) I am _____________.
b. By saying this they/he/she means that I should/should not
_____________________________________________________________.
c. I believe I need not comply with this expectation, because
_____________________________________________________________.
Reference:
Canfield, Jack and Harold Clive Wells. 100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept in the Classroom. Boston:
Allyn and Bacon, 1994.
49
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Discussion and sharing
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
How do you feel about the activity?
Do you have difficulties stating your own wishes? Why?
Do you have difficulties refusing to comply with others’ expectations? Why?
Will you speak up when you hold different opinions with others? Why?
Do you think the above way of refusing to meet others’ expectation is good? Why?
Are there other ways of refusing to meet others’ expectation and of expressing
your own determinations and hopes?
50
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 19
Type of material: Activity – Self-assessment with discussion
Main Theme
Assessing how self-affirmative a person is
Instructions
1. By using the following scale, answer the following questions:
Never = 1
Seldom = 2
Occasionally = 3
Most of the time = 4
Always = 5
2. Add up the scores, the sum of which is an indication of how self-affirmative you
are.
1.
Would you speak up when someone is unfair to you?
1
2
3
4
5
2.
Is it easy for you to make a decision?
1
2
3
4
5
3.
Would you speak up when someone downplays your
importance?
1
2
3
4
5
4.
Do you have confidence in your judgments?
1
2
3
4
5
5.
Can you control your temper?
1
2
3
4
5
6.
Is it easy for you to speak up in discussions and debates?
1
2
3
4
5
7.
Do you express your feelings openly?
1
2
3
4
5
8.
Can you remain unaffected when someone is watching you
work?
1
2
3
4
5
9.
Is it easy for you to look into others’ eyes when you talk to
them?
1
2
3
4
5
10. Is it easy for you to praise others?
1
2
3
4
5
11. When facing a very enthusiastic salesperson, can you still
say no and refuse to buy things you don’t need?
1
2
3
4
5
12. Would you return a product unhesitatingly when you have
good reason to do so?
1
2
3
4
5
13. Is it easy for you to maintain conversation in social
gatherings?
1
2
3
4
5
14. Do you seldom feel unwelcome?
1
2
3
4
5
15. Can you refuse an unreasonable request from a friend?
1
2
3
4
5
16. Do you know what to say when praised by others?
1
2
3
4
5
17. Are you nervous talking to a person of the opposite sex?
1
2
3
4
5
18. Can you avoid accusing others openly even when you are
angry?
1
2
3
4
5
51
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Explanation of the Self-affirmative Test
1. Highly self-affirmative: If you score 77 points or above, you are highly
self-affirmative and can properly express your opinions and feelings.
2. Fairly self-affirmative: If you score 52-76 points, you can for the most of the time
express your opinions and feelings but occasionally you would fail to do so.
3. Fairly self-denying: If you score 27-51 points, you can affirm yourself only
occasionally, but not for most of the time.
4. Highly self-denying: If you score less than 26 points, you are very self-denying.
You always fail to express your opinions and feelings.
Reference:
黃惠惠。《自我與人際溝通》。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996。
Discussion and sharing
1. Each participant shares from the above list one or two behaviour items that most
reflect his/her self-affirmation. Try to be as detailed and concrete as possible so
that other members can learn from it.
2. Similarly, each participant shares from the above list one or two behaviour items
that most reflect his/her self-denial. Try to be as detailed and concrete as possible
so that other members can learn from it.
52
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material 20
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Understanding self-affirmation as a right and a duty.
Article
What is self-affirmation?
Self-affirmation is the ability to accomplish one’s goal with respect for self
and others. People failing to affirm themselves are in danger of being troubled by
fear, jealousy, hostility and frustration.
By being affirmative, you free yourself from over-dependence on others.
You (1) make yourself a responsible person, (2) give yourself a chance to grow,
develop your potential and create a good life for yourself, and (3) recognize your
own rights and are ready to stand up for them. In this way, a self-affirmative
person avoids being a burden and a slave to others.
Reference:
Messina, James J. & Constance M. Messina. “Tools for Personal Growth: Self-Affirmations”. In
Tools for Coping with Life’s Stressors, <http://www.coping.org/growth/affirm.htm>
Discussion
1. What is the nature and characteristics of self-affirmation?
2. What are the behavioral characteristics of a self-affirmative person?
3. Do you have these characteristics? Illustrate with examples
4. Share an experience in support of your views?
5. Do you have difficulties to be self-affirmative and assertive? How can you
improve upon it?
6. Do you want to be more self-affirmative and assertive? Why? Has it anything to
do with mental health and self-esteem?
7. How can we train ourselves to be self-affirmative and assertive?
53
Key Point c
Self-management
54
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Suggested questions for enquiry
How can one’s physical and emotional needs be appreciated and handled? How
can one identify the factors affecting one’s behaviours?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Understand one’s physical and emotional developments and needs;
b) Learn to appreciate and handle one’s emotions;
c) Understand the factors affecting one’s behaviours.
ii) Duration:
about 3 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. Present material 21 and material 22 to students a week before class. Briefly
explain the table in material 21 and ask students to record their emotions and
experiences in the week.
2. Begin class by explaining what emotions are and their basic functions (e.g.,
for survival, for communications).
3. Briefly explain how to use reflection to deal with negative emotions. (cf.
material 22)
4. Allow some time for students to think about the discussion questions of
material 22, and then ask them to discuss in small groups. Ask group
representatives to present their sharing to the whole class.
5. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have learnt and
experienced. Ask students to write specifically about a personal experience in
dealing with negative emotions.
6. Teacher may give material 23 (optional) to students for their own reading and
self-reflection.
55
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Lesson 2
1. Begin class by giving material 24 to students.
2. Ask students to write down their answers to Questions 1 & 2.
3. Organise group discussions on Question 3 and ask group representatives to
present the main points of their discussions to the whole class.
4. Ask students to write a reflective journal on how effectively they have been
working to achieve these values.
5. Conclude the lesson by pointing out to students that the value system they
hold is one of the most important factors affecting their behaviour and life.
6. Teacher may give material 25 (optional) to students for their own reading and
self-reflection.
Lesson 3
1. Begin class by giving material 26 to students to read.
2. Explain how self-defense mechanisms affect behaviour.
3. Allow some time for students to think about the discussion questions of
material 26, then ask students to discuss in small groups. Teacher asks group
representatives to present their sharing to the whole class.
56
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 21
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Awareness of one’s present developmental stage and one’s emotions
Article 1
People of different ages are quite different from each other. A person of
twenty is physically more powerful than a person at forty, but may be less
experienced and therefore less mature in many aspects. People at your age are
usually called adolescents. Adolescence is a stage in which a person transforms
from a child to an adult. It covers roughly the range of ages from 12 to 22, a long
period indeed. Of course, people of early adolescence and people of late
adulthood are quite different from each other too, and you are most probably in
the middle of the adolescent stage. Below we shall summarize some typical
characteristics of people at your age:
Characteristics of the stage of adolescence
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
The development of the body makes them more and more close to adults,
and therefore they have a dual identity of being an adult and an adolescent.
These changes have great influences on their gender identities.
They are more and more concerned with their own being.
These changes give rise to new conflicts of their identities, and thus need a
peer to support them in this process of change.
The core problem at the stage is group identity vs. alienation: they ask
themselves, “Who am I? Whom do I belong to?”
They will shortly be required to make decisions that have long term effects
in their lives, such as marriage, career or job, a political ideal, and a set of
moral values.
They are required to establish a sex-role identity.
They have to learn to be independent of their parents.
Reference:
Newman, Barbara & Philip. Development through Life: a psychosocial approach. Pacific Grove,
California: Brooks/Cole Pub. Co, 1995.
57
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Article 2
When faced with these changes, strong emotions are usually experienced.
According to Raymond AU Cheung-kong, emotions or feelings can be divided
into two types: energizing (positive) emotions and energy-draining (negative)
emotions:
Energizing (positive) feelings
Motivated, competence, courage,
confidence, delightfulness,
enthusiasm, appreciation, sympathy,
security, being loved, care,
gratefulness, relieve, etc.
Energy-draining (negative) feelings
Anger, hatred, impatience,
dissatisfaction, melancholy, pain,
being rejected, disappointment,
anxiety, fear, jealousy, shame, guilt,
oppression, greed, etc.
Reference:
區祥江、李兆康。《情緒有益》。香港：突破出版社，2001。
58
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Exercise
Fill in the table with the feelings you have experienced last week. This helps you to
understand your own recent emotional status.
Emotions experienced
Causes/incidents
Positive
Negative
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
59
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 22
Type of material: Table with discussion
Main Theme
How to use reflections to handle negative emotions
Article
Common emotions and signals
Emotion
Anxiety
Possible Signals
I feel threatened.
Reflection
What is threatening me? Do I
understand the nature of the
things that constitute the threat?
Impatience I find things disorganized to the Can I reject some of the tasks
extent that they are out of my
assigned to me? Can I set
control.
priorities for these tasks? Delay
some of them? Can I ask for
help?
Frustration I am dissatisfied with the
performance of myself and of
others.
Guilt
Hatred
Make a distinction between your
duties and others’. Look for
possible ways of improvement.
Can I avoid taking up duties I
cannot fulfill?
I feel that I may have done
something improper or hurt
somebody.
Can I accept the responsibility
and fix the problem or ask for
forgiveness?
I feel I am being hurt by
Does he/she hurt me
somebody and thus have a
negative feeling towards
him/her.
intentionally or unintentionally?
Regardless, hatred itself hurts.
60
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Emotion
Sorrow
Possible Signals
I feel sad because I lost
something or somebody I
treasure.
Reflection
Replace sadness with memory
and grace.
Depression I find myself unable to handle The sense of incompetence may
things around me and therefore I be no more than a subjective
express my dissatisfaction in a feeling. There is often a way out.
negative way.
The best thing to do is to discuss
the problem with somebody.
Reference:
區祥江、李兆康。
《情緒有益》
。香港：突破出版社，2001。
Discussion
1. From the previous exercise (of material 21), pick 3 feelings that troubled you
most.
2. Report how you dealt with them.
3. Discuss with group members whether your ways of dealing with emotions are
appropriate.
4. With the help of the above table, discuss how your ways of dealing with emotions
can be improved so that negative emotions can find release.
61
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 23 (optional)
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
What is needed to be happy
Article
“Such is the conclusion of National Institute on Aging psychologist Paul
Costa and his co-investigators after tracking the well-being of 5,000 adult
Americans over ten years. ‘Well-being is strongly influenced by enduring
characteristics of the individual,’ they reported. Regardless of someone’s sex,
race, or age, regardless of whether their marital status, job, or residence had
changed, people with a happy disposition in 1973 were still happy in 1983 …
Consider the good news embedded in these findings: No unfortunate event
voids our chance for future happiness. Given the right disposition, those of us
treated poorly, suffering illness, laid off from work, or divorcing can still find
renewed happiness.” (David G. Myers, p.106)
Note that the above quotation says nothing about good relationship being
unimportant to happiness. Indeed research does find that a good marriage, for
example, is a good predictor of happiness. Nevertheless, as Myers has pointed
out, whatever our fortune and happiness, it is still possible to be happy without
good fortune.
According to Myers, there are four traits that are most characteristic of a
happy person:
1. Self-esteem: Happy people like themselves, which means that they are
positive and yet realistic about who they are.
2. Personal Control: Happy people believe they choose their destinies.
3. Optimism: Happy people are hope-filled.
4. Extraversion: Happy people are outgoing.
Reference:
Myers, David G. The Pursuit of Happiness: who is happy – and why. New York: W. Morrow,
1992.
62
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Exercise
1. Myers said that self-esteem is a key to happiness. What is ‘self-esteem’?
2. Do you have the four traits Myers claims to be essential for being happy? Why or
why not?
3. Make a list of 5 typical behaviour common among people with high self-esteem.
Behave in accordance with the list as much as possible for a period of time (say,
one week or one month). Has your behaviour changed your feelings towards
yourself? If yes, how are these changes effected? Please share your experience
with your classmates.
63
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 24
Type of material: Self-reflection exercise
Main Theme
Rethinking your values
Exercise
1. Name ten things that are most important to you, things that you most want to
achieve in your life. (You should not include any particular person in your list. For
example, you may write “friendship” as one of your choices but not “my friend
Jackie.”)
2. Pick the top three from the ten values. Explain to yourself why they are more
important than the rest.
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
3. Pick the top value in your life among the three. Compare it with your classmates,
and share the reasons of your choices. Listen carefully to others and to their
reasons.
4. After the discussions, reflect and maybe modify your value list. Decide again what
your top three values are. Write a short report on how effectively you have been
working to achieve these values. Work out a new plan for your life with the
guidance of these values.
64
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 25
Type of material: Reading with self-reflection
Main Theme
Rethink one’s values with a broader perspective
Article
Specialization contributes to the immaturity of groups and their potential for
evil through several different mechanisms. For the moment I will restrict myself
to the consideration of only one such mechanism: the fragmentation of
conscience. If at the time of My Lai*, wandering through the halls of the
Pentagon, I stopped to talk with the men responsible for directing the
manufacture of napalm^ and its transportation to Vietnam in the form of bombs,
and if I questioned these men about the morality of the war and hence the
morality of what they were engaged in, this is the kind of reply I invariably
receive: “Oh, we appreciate your concerns, yes, we do, but I’m afraid you’ve
come to the wrong people. We’re not the department you want. This is the
ordnance branch. We just supply the weapons – we don’t determine how and
where they’re used. That’s policy. What you want to do is talk to the policy
people down the hall.” And if I followed this suggestion and expressed the same
concerns in the policy branch, this was the response: “Oh, we understand that
there are broad issues involved, but I’m afraid they’re beyond our purview. We
simply determine how the war will be conducted – not whether it will be
conducted. You see, the military is only an agency of executive branch. The
military does only what it’s told to do. These broad issues are decided at the
White House level, not here. That’s where you need to take your concerns.” So it
went.
65
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Whenever the roles of the individuals within a group become specialized, it
becomes both possible and easy for the individual to pass the moral buck to some
other part of the group. In this way, not only does the individual forsake his
conscience but also the conscience of the group as a whole can become so
fragmented and diluted as to be nonexistent. We will see this fragmentation again
and again, one way or another, in the discussion that follows. The plain fact of
the matter is that any group will remain inevitably potentially conscienceless and
evil until such time as each and every individual holds himself or herself directly
responsible for the behaviours of the whole group – the organism – of which he
or she is a part. We have not yet begun to arrive at that point.
Reference:
Peck, M. Scott. People of the Lie. London: Arrow, 1990.
*
From mid-1960s to mid-1970s, the U.S. government was supporting the South
Vietnamese government to fight against communist fighters in South Vietnam supported
by the North Vietnamese government. My Lai is a hamlet of the Son My District in South
Vietnam. On 16 March, 1968, more than 500 Vietnamese civilians were killed in cold
blood at the hands of U.S. troops in the course of three hours. The soldiers had been on a
“search and destroy” mission to root out communist fighters in the area.
^
Napalm has been used primarily in the form of incendiary bombs, firebombs, land mines,
and flamethrowers. Through its unique properties, napalm extended the effective range of
flamethrowers to 150 yards (gasoline’s effectiveness was limited to within 30 yards). The
use of napalm was banned by a United Nations convention in 1980.
66
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Reflection
Peck’s analysis of the group evil of society has an important underlying message:
if my behaviour alone does not cause harm to others, I tend to do it without regret.
However, there are many instances in which the suffering of people is not caused by
the behaviour of a single person or a single group but by the aggregation of a series of
activities by different people. Now decide whether you are responsible for the
following and state your reasons:
1. A girl whom you do not know kills herself because she was being ridiculed as a
2.
3.
4.
5.
“pork chop.” (A Cantonese expression meaning “too fat”)
You saw a classmate in the medicine program cheat and you did not blow the
whistle. A few years later a patient of his died as a result of his mistreatment.
You speculated on the real estate market and made a lot of money before the
market collapses, leading to a long period of recession.
Workers in sweatshops in Cambodia are working 16 hours a day (non-stop), 7
days a week for less than US$30 dollars (HK$234) a month while you are wearing
a pair of sports shoes made by them.
People in the Third World are starving to death, but few are willing to help.
67
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 26
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Understanding how psychological self-defense mechanisms affect one’s behaviour
Article
“You may say: ‘I don’t dare to speak up to my boss. He’ll fire me.’
Nonsense. If that is literally true, then start looking for a new job right now,
because you’re sure to disagree with your boss again one day.”
Citation from:
Hauk, Paul. How to Stand up for yourself. London: Sheldon Press, 1981.
There are numerous self-defense mechanisms that make us feel good about
what we have been doing. Excuses (or rationalization) are one of these. Below
are some of the typical excuses we use in order to refuse to change:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
I don’t dare to speak up to my boss. He’ll fire me.
It’s no use.
I don’t have the time and the opportunity.
Dad didn’t tell me to do that.
I don’t have the ability.
It’s fine now.
That’s how things are.
I’m born to be like that.
68
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Discussion
1. Translate the above excuses into language you actually use when the occasion
arises. (You will not say, “I don’t dare to speak up to my boss” because you do not
have a boss). Give examples of other excuses that are similar in nature.
2. Recall an occasion when you used one or more of the above excuses to avoid
change. Then discuss the following questions in small groups:
a) What were the excuses you used? Why were they excuses?
b) What was the consequence of avoiding change? Was it a very bad outcome?
What would be the worst possible outcome?
c) Do you think things would have been better if you had faced the problem
honestly? Why?
69
Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Suggested questions for enquiry
How can one cope with problems, difficulties and major changes in life?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Learn to cope with problems, difficulties and major changes in life.
ii) Duration:
about 1 lesson
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. Have a class discussion about the problems, difficulties and major life changes
students might encounter (e.g. failing an exam, death of a close relative or
friend, serious injuries or illness) or are expected to encounter (e.g. public
examinations). Encourage students to share their experience with the class or
in groups.
2. Briefly introduce the value of positive thinking in dealing with the problems,
difficulties and major life changes.
3. Provide material 27 to students to read.
4. Ask students to discuss in small groups. Group representatives are asked to
present their sharing to the whole class.
5. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have learnt and
experienced from material 27 and the discussions. Ask students to write
specifically about a personal encounter with difficulties or major life changes.
Share how they have overcome and how they are going to handle future
challenges in their lives.
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Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 27
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Learn to cope with problems, difficulties and major changes in life from the example
of Sang Lan
Article 1
To cope with problems, difficulties and major changes in life, the most
important thing is to have the ability to think and act positively.
1. Positive Thinking Techniques:
a) Take responsibility for your own state of mind;
b) Put a stop to wasteful thinking;
c) Talk to yourself in a positive way;
d) See difficult situations as opportunities for growth.
2. Taking positive action:
a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
Develop new skills;
Change your lifestyle;
Have a balanced diet;
Exercise regularly;
Put aside 10 minutes a day for quiet time for positive reflection or prayer.
To improve these abilities, one has to learn from one’s own experiences as
well as from those of others, which includes modeling, reflections, and actual
practices. The following is Sang Lan’s story serving as an example in dealing
with a very disastrous situation that could have destroyed an entire life.
Reference:
Creative Consciousness and & Positive Thinking,
<http://www.2013.net/parivart/creapos1.htm>
威爾克絲著，平郁譯。《活出你自己》
。台北：商周出版社，1998。
Field, Lynda. Creating Self-Esteem. Dorset; Rockport, Mass.: Element, 1993.
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Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Article 2
Sang Lan’s story
Sang Lan was a member of the Chinese national gymnastics team. She had
been with the Gymnastics School in Shanghai since she was five, and a national
team member since 12. A few years ago in 1998, she won a Gold medal in
Vaulting at the National Games. There was no doubt that she would be a star in
the world of Gymnastics.
At the Goodwill Games in New York, she had an accident. At a practice vault
she fell, landing on her head. She broke her spine, and from that moment on she
has not stood up again.
She must surely be most regretful, one would think. Surprisingly, no. “At the
beginning, dad and mom had not wanted me to practise gymnastics, but I really
like it. If I could go back in time, I’d still make the same decision.”
“Regret? Definitely. ‘It’d be nice if I had listened to my parents.’ Anybody in
my situation would have thoughts like this. It’d be nice if regrets can make a
difference, but it can’t. We can only look forward.”
“Of course I cried. That was a heavy blow in my life.”
She cries, but she smiles too. Her smile is now known as the Smile of Sang
Lan, gentle and yet firm. It is a smile that has moved millions of people in China
and in the United States.
The young lady is now heading toward a career as a TV commentator. She is
striving to be a TV commentator in the 2008 Olympic Games.
“There are many things in life you won’t understand until you have
experienced them. And you will only be able to face them in peace when you live
through the life. The injury is the biggest blow in my life, but now I am up again,
and I have gone through it. I know difficult times still lie ahead, but I believe I
have the ability to overcome them.”
“I have lost a lot and gained a lot. Everybody is given a measure of
happiness, and now I’m content.”
(Based on a report in Mingpao Daily, 23 November, 2002.)
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Key Point c – Self-management
Discussion
1. Imagine you are Sang Lan. What would you feel after the injury? Do you feel that
you would never recover from the blow? If not, why?
2. Discuss why Sang Lan has the courage to face her destiny. Explain how positive
thinking and action has helped Sang Lan to overcome her difficulties. Is Sang Lan
very different from you? Can you learn anything from her?
3. Apart from positive thinking and action, are there other ways to help us solve
problems, difficulties or great changes in life?
4. Share an experience of overcoming a great difficulty or challenge. How did you
handle the crisis? If you have to do it again, can you find a better way? How?
Other learning activity
The class views an ETV programme entitled “Life Warrior” about Sang Lan (16:2119:10) (in Moral Education Series of PSHE ETV Programme). There are other stories
on the same programme. A brief introduction can be found in:
教育電視。《教師參考資料人文教育品德教育系列：生命鬥士》，2002 年 8 月 28
日。<http://etv.emb.gov.hk/resource/867.doc>
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Key Point c – Self-management
Suggested questions for enquiry
How do decisions of today affect one's long-term personal interest? How can one
learn to set goals and work to achieve these goals?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Understand how one’s choices affect one’s life;
b) Learn to manage time more effectively in the achievement of goals.
ii) Duration:
about 2 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. Divide the class into small groups. Assign a story in Part I of material 28 to
each.
2. Conduct the activity and discussion following the instructions in the material.
3. After finishing the discussion on part I, present the story in part II to the whole
class. Each student considers the story individually and decides what to do.
4. Students then engage in group discussions on the story and on their decisions.
They explain why they have come to such decisions.
5. After the group discussions, ask students to present their decisions and reasons
to the whole class.
6. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have discussed in class
and ask them how decisions today affect the future.
Lesson 2
1. Present material 29 to students a week before class. Briefly explain the table
in material 29 and ask students to finish the exercise according to the
instructions in the material.
2. Begin the lesson by asking some students to report the results of this exercise
and share their feelings and insights.
3. Organise the students for small group discussions (cf. the discussion questions
of material 29). Ask group representatives to present their sharing to the
whole class.
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Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
4. Give material 30 (optional) to students and ask them to hand in their
reflective journal after two weeks.
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Core Module I
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 28
Type of material: Story telling
Main Theme
Imagine different situations in which one has to decide what the best action is.
Part I
1. Read the following cases. Make decisions for the characters. Then write a story to
tell what you think would most likely happen to the characters in ten or fifteen
years. Compare your story with your classmates’ and discuss whose story is more
realistic.
a) Ben is a F.4 student fairly good, though not outstanding, in his schoolwork. He
is preparing for an examination, and for the first time he finds it difficult and
begins to worry about the results. He seeks help from his friend Andrew, the
top student in class, only to discover that Andrew has been cheating for years.
Andrew is no dummy. He does so to guarantee the results. Now he suggests
that Ben does the same too. Ben is now seriously considering whether he
should take Andrew’s advice.
b) Cindy is a F. 4 student. She is not quite popular in school and has virtually no
close friends. Though not particularly poor in schoolwork, she finds school
life boring. Recently, she ran into a group of people of various ages, ranging
from twelve to eighteen, who love going to rave parties and are drug users.
They invite Cindy to join them and Cindy is attracted to them by their lifestyle.
She is now thinking about joining them.
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Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
c) Jack is a F.3 student who is going to decide which stream of studies he should
choose. His examination results are good so he can choose any stream he
prefers. He loves literature but hates science subjects. However, it seems that
his parents are very clear that only students with a science or technology
background can find jobs after graduation. So his parents strongly advise him
to go for the science stream. Should he obey his parents? Or should he choose
what he enjoys?
d) Flora is a F.5 student. Recently, Tim expressed a wish to date her. Flora and
Tim have a lot of interests in common and Tim is quite handsome. However,
Flora does not feel that she is in love with him. What should she do? Flora is
aware that a romantic relationship takes up a lot of time and might affect her
HKCEE results.
Part II
2. The following case is about decision on premarital sex:
You have a younger sister Ann whom you care very much. She is now in F.4 and
is in love with a boyfriend, Thomas, now preparing for the A-level exam. One day
you are home and you see her sitting with Thomas in the sofa, both looking a little
nervous and embarrassed, both blushing and with their clothes loose and messy.
You could not but suspect that they have just been having some kind of intimate
physical contact. Thomas leaves, and you ask your sister what has happened, and
you turn out to be correct. They have been kissing and caressing before you come
home. Indeed, says Ann, Thomas asked for sex and she was kind of confused if
she should comply.
a) Think carefully. Her decision will affect her life and her relationship with
Thomas. Give her your advice.
b) Ask her questions if you find that necessary, and imagine the response from
her.
c) Write down the conversation.
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Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 29
Type of material: Table with exercise
Main Theme
Techniques for time management
The Management Matrix
Depending on the importance and urgency of the situation, the management matrix
can be expressed by four quadrants:
Urgent
Not Urgent
I
II
Preventive maintenance (activities
which prevent undesirable
consequences from happening, e.g.
physical exercises to keep
healthy);
relationship building;
Crises;
Pressing problems;
Deadline-driven projects
Important
recognizing new opportunities;
planning; recreation
III
Interruptions; phone calls;
Unimportant
mail; reports; meetings;
pressing routines
IV
Trivia; busy work;
mail; phone calls;
time wasters; pleasant activities
Tips for management
1. Ignore III and IV as far as possible; urgent or not, they are unimportant.
2. Move into II and expand it.
Reference:
Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: restoring the character ethic. London:
Simon & Schuster, 1999.
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Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Exercise – the matrix experiment
1. You get the above material a week before the lesson. Draw a table to record your
activities for the first three days. Group them into categories I – IV.
2. After three days of recording your activities, review the table and see whether
there are activities you have spent much time in, and highlight them in the matrix.
3. Then pick out two activities in Category III and IV (e.g. browsing the Internet
casually) and try to remove them from your everyday life for the rest of the week.
Write an essay to reflect on the experience of your attempt. Does the ignoring of
the two activities affect the quality of your life in any way? How? (You should not
expect a magical change in your life. If you do not find any negative outcome,
your plan is probably working.)
4. Try to expand the activities and content of Quadrant II. Set some intermediate and
long-term goals. Focus on important but not urgent tasks.
5. Evaluate the result of this exercise and share your feelings and insights.
Discussion
1. What activities are included in quadrant I, II, III, and IV? (E.g. Quadrant I:
homework to be handed in tomorrow; Quadrant II: showing love to your
parents/siblings; Quadrant III: a phone call from a friend for gossip; Quadrant IV:
browsing the Internet casually.) Try to think of as many daily examples as
possible.
2. What are the characteristics of the different activities in the four quadrants?
3. Have you tried to manage your “time” and “yourself” before? How? Is it
successful? How can it be improved?
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Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material 30 (optional)
Type of material: Time Management Exercise
Main Theme
Timetable planning
Time Management Exercise
Plan a timetable for your everyday life. Schedule what you should and would do and
when, such as when to study, when to play, etc. Make it as detailed as possible. But
do not be too idealistic or too demanding. Follow your own timetable. Then, after
two weeks, review by how much you are able to stick to your plan (90%, 50%, 20%,
or however much). What factors hinder you from following the timetable? Are these
factors under your control? Should you remove them, or should you change your
timetable instead? Why? Write a reflective journal and answer these questions.
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Issue 2
How do I get along with others?
81
Key Point a
Interpersonal communication
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Suggested questions for enquiry
What constitutes effective interpersonal communication? How can one understand
one’s patterns in interpersonal communication? What are the perspectives for
understanding the feelings and behaviours of others? How do these different
perspectives affect one’s interpersonal communication and acceptance of others?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Understand the elements of effective communication;
d) Learn to overcome the difficulties of effective communication.
ii) Duration:
about 5 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. To begin with, teacher provides a brief outline of what is going to be discussed
in these five lessons.
2. Ask whether students have any ideas about communication and interpersonal
relationship and why they are important in our lives.
3. Divide students into 2 groups. Present the role playing exercise in material 31:
“Situation 1” to group 1 and “situation 2” to group 2.
4. After both groups have finished the task, ask group 1 to present their answers
to the whole class. After that, ask group 2 to make their presentation.
5. Re-divide the students in groups of six (The new group should contain
members from both group 1 and 2).
6. After the group discussion, briefly explains the art of delivering criticism.
7. Ask students to do the exercise.
8. Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have learnt and
experienced from the activities.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Lesson 2
1. Begin by summarizing the main points of the last lesson.
2. Conduct the activity in material 32 and then ask students to discuss in groups.
Ask group representatives to present their sharing to the whole class.
3. Give material 33 to students to read.
4. Discuss with the whole class or in groups the questions in material 33.
Lesson 3
1. Introduce to the students that communication involves two processes —
sending and receiving messages (expression and listening). Tell students that
the coming 3 classes will focus on these two processes.
2. Ask students if such topics are important to them and if they find these two
processes difficult.
3. Ask students how many styles of communication or verbalizing they have
noticed in their experience.
4. Distribute material 34 and introduce the two categories of verbalizing: closed
vs. open. Ask students to suggest what these two terms mean.
5. Ask students to do Exercise 1 and Exercise 2 in material 34 after the
introduction.
6. Organise students for group discussion.
7. Ask students to do Exercise 3 and bring it back for discussion in the following
week.
8. If time allows, ask students to do Exercise 4 in class. If it doesn’t, ask them to
do it as homework.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Lesson 4
1. Begin class by summarizing what have been discussed in the last lesson about
styles of communication.
2. Introduce to students that the coming classes will focus on listening.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Administer material 35 and asks students to assess their listening skills.
Work out the score and discuss the results in groups.
After the discussion, present the song “Sound of Silence” to students.
If time allows, discuss the related questions in groups.
Ask students to write a reflective journal on what they have learnt and
experienced from the activities and materials in the lesson. Ask student to
write specifically on the discussion questions in the material.
Lesson 5
1. To prepare for the lesson, record in advance the scenarios in material 36 in
both sound track format and video format.
2. Begin the lesson by presenting the series of scenarios. Ask students to assess
the emotional states of the individual characters in the scenarios.
3. Discuss the scenarios one by one with the whole class and see whether
students can accurately describe the emotional states of the characters.
4. Discuss the questions in material 36 in groups.
5. Ask students to report at least 3 recent conversations with their parents or
friends. Write down the conversations in detail. Write specifically on the
emotional states of the communicators in the conversations.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material 31
Type of material: role playing exercise
Main Theme
To learn the skills of delivering criticisms and expressing true feeling in an effective
and constructive way while maintaining harmonious relationships.
The Cinema Story (Role playing exercise)
Situation 1
You are very happy because you are going to see a movie with your girl-/boy-friend.
Both of you have been busy these days and you really want to have a good time with
her/him today. However, to your disappointment, you are kept waiting for half an
hour and the movie started 15 minutes ago. At last s/he arrives. You rush to go into the
theatre but to your great surprise s/he says that s/he has forgotten to bring the tickets.
You can’t believe it!
What do you say now? Write down some of your possible immediate responses in the
spaces provided.
1. ___________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Situation 2
You are very happy because you are going to see a movie with your girl-/boy-friend.
Both of you have been busy these days and you really want to have a good time with
her/him today. However, to your disappointment, your boss asked you to discuss an
“urgent” project with him/her after your office hour. You told your boss that you have
a date. After a long struggle, you boss finally let you go. You arrive at the theatre half
an hour late and the movie has already started 15 minutes ago. You decide not to
explain for your lateness. You simply want to go into the theatre. At that point, you
discover that you have left the tickets in the office because of the hassle with the boss.
You can’t believe it!
What do you expect to hear from your girl-/boy-friend at this point? Write down some
of the possible immediate responses that you expect to receive.
1. ___________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Why are the responses in the above two situations so different?
What do you think is a healthy style of communication? Why?
How does your communication style reflect your idea of interpersonal
relationship?
Have you been involved in similar situations with friends or family members?
How did you respond?
What can be improved in your communication style?
Does it make any difference if the person in the scenario is a friend and not a
romantic partner? Why?
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Extended discussion
Delivering criticism is easy when you take it as an opportunity to express
dissatisfaction and immediate reaction. However, it is difficult to convey such a
message without arousing anger or guilt, or spoiling the relationship.
Consider the following guidelines:
1. Be specific in communicating what behaviour disturbs you. Don’t insult.
Say something like, “Please make sure you do it … next time,” rather than “You
are as dump as a pig!”
2. Express your dissatisfaction in terms of your own feelings.
Say, “You know, it upsets me when …” not “You never think about me and my
feelings.”
3. Keep complaints to the present. Do not recount mistakes from the past.
Say “This is an important matter/appointment/thing for me.” It may be less helpful
to say, “You did the same thing last week/month/year and that upsets me.”
4. Phrase the criticism positively and combine it with a concrete request.
Say something like, “You know, you’re usually very responsible … But everyone
can be careless sometimes … Will you please … in the future?”
“Forget about this unhappy event. Cheer up and what shall we do next?”
Referring to both of the situations, now write down some other possible responses
which convey your dissatisfaction and feelings in a positive and constructive way:
1. __________________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________________________
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material 32
Type of material: Game with discussions
Main theme
Experience different styles of communication
Instructions
1. Students are divided into two groups and form two concentric circles, with
members of the two circles facing each other.
2. The teacher announces the topic for sharing. A pair of students, one from each
circle, faces each other. In the first round the inner circle shares and the outer
circle listens. Two minutes later, it is the outer circle’s turn to share and the inner
circle to listen.
3. The teacher announces another topic. The inner circle rotates anticlockwise so that
everybody has a new partner. Repeat the sharing activities. The entire procedure
repeats 5-6 times so that students can communicate with different people.
4. Examples of topics for sharing:
a) What is the most embarrassing experience in your life?
b) What is the most treasured experience in your life?
c) Imagine your idol is to spend a day with you. How would you like to spend
the day?
d) Who loves you most? What kind of person is s/he?
e) Whom do you admire most? What kind of person do you think s/he is?
f) Any interesting topics for students to express themselves regarding their
thinking, values and personalities.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Discussion and Sharing
1. Is it difficult to catch the meaning of others? Why?
2. What kind of information or messages have you sent (e.g. facts, feelings,
evaluations, wishes)?
3. Do you notice different styles of communication among people?
4. Do you find some people easier to talk to? Why?
5. Do you find some topics easier to talk about? Why?
6. What are the difficulties you have encountered in the communications process (in
this game)?
7. What makes communication effective in this game?
8. Is the communication process in the game different from your daily experience?
9. What are the difficulties in communication that you usually encounter in daily life?
Please give examples.
10. Suggest and discuss ways of improving communication in the cases mentioned in
question (9).
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material 33
Type of material: Reading with discussions
Main theme
Understand what communication is
Article
Communication with others is a basic human need. We need communication in
order to satisfy personal needs. Communication is a process in which different
people exchange thoughts, feelings and experiences. Through communication,
we expect that others will know what we know, take seriously what we find
important, feel what we feel, and choose what we choose.
Communication can be verbal or non-verbal. Communication is not just an
exchange of words. All meaningful acts are forms of communication. A friend
can respond to my question “I like the movie; how about you?” by saying “Yes, a
good movie indeed.” A mother can give permission to a child’s request “Can I
watch cartoon?” by a look of approval or a nod.
Information exchanged in communication involves facts and feelings.
Communication tends to be boring if it includes only facts. Communication
without expression of feelings is incomplete in that the communicators have not
fully expressed themselves. Very often, we find personal feelings and emotion
more worthy of being communicated.
Communication involves two parties: I and the other. Therefore in
communication one is in touch with oneself on the one hand, and in touch with
other people on the other. Your contact with yourself will affect your contact with
others and vice versa. Communication is letting oneself beknown and knowing
others. Therefore self-understanding is the most important foundation for
communication. Self-understanding gained from contact with the self affects the
way one contacts the others, and the contact with others will in turn affect one’s
understanding of oneself. Therefore interpersonal relation is not independent of
communication with oneself.
Reference:
黃惠惠。《自我與人際溝通》。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996。
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Discussion and Sharing
1. Do you agree with the definition of communication introduced above?
2. Are you aware of verbal and nonverbal messages in daily communication and
conversations? Can you give an example?
3. Why does the article claim that we cannot achieve a deeper understanding with
each other if we exchange only factual information in our communication?
4. Why does the article claim that self-understanding is the base of interpersonal
communications?
5. Do you agree that communication enables us to have a better understanding of
each other and of ourselves? Why? Can you share a personal example?
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material 34
Type of material: Exercise
Main theme
Identifying open and closed communication
Closed communication styles
Dogmatic:
“Definitely definite,” rigid, absolute, and inflexible.
When verbalizing, a dogmatic communicator sounds like the final authority.
A key measure of dogmatism is closed-mindedness.
In verbalization, a closed-minded person usually expresses his/her opinions as
facts or truths.
5. Here are some dogmatic statements:
a) He is a very bad and lazy student.
b) Religion is necessary for a happy and meaningful life.
c) XXX is the best fast food restaurant in HK.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Commando:
1. Forceful/high pressure.
2. This category includes words and phrases such as ‘must”, “should”, “have to”,
“ought to” and “need to” that leave little room for alternatives and negotiations.
3. Here are some commando statements. Note the authoritarian, commanding nature
of these statements:
a) You should get a full-time job.
b) You need to study now.
c) You must not go to the demonstration.
Grandiose:
1. Exaggerated, all-inclusive or all-exclusive, and often dramatic.
2. The use of this type can lead to inaccuracy, distortion and overgeneralization of
facts.
3. Here are some grandiose words and statements:
a) Every time (always) or Never; Everybody or Nobody; Everything or Nothing;
All or None.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
b) He has done nothing in the process.
c) My parents scold me every time I come home.
d) Nobody cares about me in the world.
e) Everything I do is not recognized.
Open style of verbalizing
1. Usually tentative and flexible, allows enough room for discussion and exchange of
ideas and thoughts.
2. Often begins with “I’ (e.g. I think, I believe, I feel that) to express personal
opinions, contains qualifiers (such as usually, often, sometimes), and expressed in
a less dramatic and less exaggerated manner.
Reference:
Hanna, Sharon L. Person to Person: Positive Relationships Don’t Just Happen. Upper Saddle River, NJ:
Prentice Hall, 2003.
Exercise 1
Use the following letters to identify the style of communication. If a statement applies
to more than one style, use more than one letter.
D = Dogmatic
C = Commando
G = Grandiose
1. ____ That student is lazy and troublesome.
2. ____ All Chinese are selfish.
3. ____ I don’t have many friends in school.
4. ____ Peter always complains about my way of working.
5. ____ You should quit that job.
6. ____ It would be helpful if you can improve your self-esteem.
7. ____ Exams are evil and must be banned.
8. ____ Nobody appreciates what I do.
9. ____ I think it is good for you to accept the task.
10. ____ Nobody in school likes me.
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O = Open
Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Answers:
1.
D
2.
G
3.
O
4.
G
5.
C
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
O
D and C
G
O
G
Exercise 2
Re-write each of the above closed statements in the open style. (Statements 1, 2, 4, 5,
6, 8 & 10)
Discussion
1. What are the drawbacks of the closed styles of communication? Are there
techniques to help change such styles?
2. Certain communication styles are commonly found in certain situations. Explain.
3. Certain communication styles apply to certain relationships. Explain.
4. Which style of communication do you prefer if you are on the receiving end?
Why?
5. Which style of communication do you often use? Why?
6. Do you think some communication styles are better than others? Why? In what
way?
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Name
Position
Styles of
Communication
Examples of
Verbalization
Your feelings
Ways of Improvement
Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Exercise 3
Pay attention to how people talk with you. Note down their names, position, and examples of verbalization. Is it closed communication
(dogmatic, commando, and grandiose) or open communication? What do you feel? How can they improve their way of speaking to make
you feel better?
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Exercise 4
Are you aware of your own closed communication style? Try to recall and write down
the closed verbalization that you often make (at least three). Then discuss with your
group members which type of closed verbalization (i.e., dogmatic, commando, and
grandiose) they belong to. Try to change your closed verbalization to open
verbalization.
Closed communication
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Change the above to open communication
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Reference:
Hanna, Sharon L. Person to person: positive relationships don’t just happen. Upper Saddle River, N.J:
Prentice Hall, 2003.
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material 35
Type of material: Activity
Main Theme
Listening skills
Activity 1 – Self-assessment of listening skills
By using the following scale, answer the following questions:
1 = Hardly ever
4 = Usually
2 = Sometimes
5 = Almost always
3 = About half the time
1.
I am interested in other people.
1
2
3
4
5
2.
I ask questions about other people’s interests.
1
2
3
4
5
3.
The opinions of others are of interest to me.
1
2
3
4
5
4.
I am able to focus my attention on what someone is saying.
1
2
3
4
5
5.
I put aside my thoughts and feelings and concentrate on
what is being said.
1
2
3
4
5
6.
I try to create a positive listening environment by getting
1
2
3
4
5
rid of distractions and other obstacles.
7.
I realize I have a psychological filter and check it
periodically so that it doesn’t interfere with my listening.
1
2
3
4
5
8.
I approach others with the idea that they have something of
value to contribute to a conversation.
1
2
3
4
5
9.
When listening, I face the person who is talking.
1
2
3
4
5
10. I keep a friendly facial expression and bodily gestures
when listening.
1
2
3
4
5
11. When listening, my body is relaxed yet attentive.
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
13. When listening, my facial expression registers what I am
thinking and feeling.
1
2
3
4
5
14. My facial expression changes during a typical
conversation.
1
2
3
4
5
12. I maintain eye contact at least three quarters of the time.
When I look away, I quickly bring my eyes back to the
speaker.
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
15. When listening, I nod my head affirmatively an appropriate
number of times.
1
2
3
4
5
16. During conversation I am comfortable with appropriate
touching.
1
2
3
4
5
17. When listening, I use brief verbal responses which show
interest.
1
2
3
4
5
18. I ask encouraging questions of the speaker.
1
2
3
4
5
19. When listening, I try to find ways to clarify the speaker's
point.
1
2
3
4
5
20. I avoid negative listening behaviour.
1
2
3
4
5
Total your score. Give yourself a grade as follows:
95 – 100 = A+
90 – 94 = A
85 – 89 = B+
75 – 79 = C+
70 – 74 = C
65 – 69 = D+
59 or below = Unsatisfactory
80 – 84 = B
60 – 64 = D
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Do you think your score accurately reflects your listening skills?
Do you want to be a good listener, why?
What characteristics do you think a good listener should have?
Do you have friends that you think are good listeners?
What can you do to improve your listening?
What are the most important components in listening?
There are two terms in describing listening, active and passive listening. What do
you think the differences are between the two?
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Activity 2 – Listen to the song “The Sound of Silence”
Discussion
1. What message and emotions is the singer expressing in the song?
2. What does “people talking without speaking; people hearing without listening”
mean? Why does this happen? What are the differences between “talking” and
“speaking”, “hearing” and “listening”?
3. What does “sound of silence” mean in the song?
4. Does the song suggest that communication between people is effective? Why?
5. Do you like the song? Why?
Reference:
Hanna, Sharon L. Person to person: positive relationships don’t just happen. Upper Saddle River, N.J:
Prentice Hall, 2003.
Note: Teacher may also refer to the following reference for further information on listening.
黃惠惠。
《自我與人際溝通》
。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996，頁 165-166。
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material 36
Type of material: Activity
Main theme
Reflection on emotions in communication
Instructions
Before the lesson, teacher records the following scenarios in both sound track and
video format (Teacher may ask some students to prepare in advance and role-play the
scenarios in class). Present the sound track of each scenario first and the video
afterwards, so that students may contrast them and see the significance of nonverbal
cues (such as gestures and facial expressions) in understanding emotions. After each
scenario, teacher asks students to describe the feelings of the protagonists and a
discussion with their classmates.
Scenario 1
The A-level exam is drawing near. Jack’s family has high expectations of him.
Threatened by the materials that he finds impossible to go through, he says to himself,
“Oh, God! What is going to happen to me if I cannot get into university?”
Scenario 2
Mary has not been doing well in school, whether it is studies or conduct. Having
made another mistake, she says to herself: “Forget it! Whatever I do they won’t trust
me. People think I am bad anyway, so I will be bad.”
Scenario 3
Frank says to himself, “The group leader is just so biased! All the easy tasks he gives
to others, and I am left with the dirty work.”
Scenario 4
Jane says to herself, “Tomorrow, I will have a physical check at the hospital. Is it
going to be cancer? I really can’t live with it.”
Scenario 5
Yvonne says, “My brothers were fighting right in front of my friends and I couldn’t
stop them. I wish there were a hole in the ground for me to hide in.”
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Scenario 6
Edward says, “I trusted him so much, and he betrays me!”
Scenario 7
Lucy says, “He has a good family and I don’t want to destroy it. But I don’t want to
leave him either. What should I do?”
Reference:
黃惠惠。《助人歷程與技巧》，增訂版。台北：張老師出版社，1991。
Discussion
1. Can you guess accurately the emotional states of the characters in the video/tape?
2. What elements can help you judge the emotional states of other persons (e.g.
volume and tone of the voice, gesture of the person, facial expressions, etc)?
3. Is it difficult to understand and assess the emotional states of people?
4. For effective communication, is it important to understand the emotional states of
others? Why?
5. Are there special techniques in understanding the emotions of others?
6. How can we train ourselves to better understand the emotions of other people?
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Key Point b
Managing conflicts
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Suggested questions for enquiry
How do interpersonal conflicts arise? What consequences will these conflicts bring?
How should these conflicts be handled? How should the different ways of handling
conflicts be assessed?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Explore the causes and possible outcomes of interpersonal conflicts;
b) Understand typical responses to conflicts and know how to better handle them;
c) Become aware of the importance of moral reasoning and personal virtues in
conflict resolutions;
d) Reflect on the development of personalities and moral principles.
ii) Duration:
about 5 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. Present material 38 to students and ask them to act as a “guarding angel”
according to the instructions and write a reflective journal on their experiences
afterwards. After 2-3 weeks, collect the reflective journals and give feedback.
Teacher encourages students to share their feelings with the whole class and
conducts a discussion in Lesson 5 on what they can do to foster a caring class
environment.
2. Ask students to read “The Dobson Story (I)” in material 39 and do Exercise 1
on their own.
3. Give students “The Dobson Story (II)” in material 39 to read.
4. Divide students into small groups and ask them to share their answers to
Exercise 1 and discuss the questions in Exercise 2.
5. Ask group representatives to share their discussion with the whole class.
Lesson 2
1. To begin with, summarizes what have been discussed in the last lesson about
the Dobson story.
2. Give students material 40 to read and ask them to discuss in groups.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
3. Ask group representatives to share their discussion with the whole class.
4. Ask students to write a report of two examples of conflicts in their real life as
homework.
Lesson 3
1. Presents material 41 to students and begins the lesson by briefly explaining
the five possible outcomes of conflicts and the five styles of conflict
management.
2. Divide the class into four groups. Then divide each group into three
sub-groups and ask them to do the role-play exercise according to the
instructions.
3. Ask group representatives to report the results of their negotiation.
4. Ask students to do the homework.
Lesson 4 & 5
1. Presents material 42 to students and briefly introduces the concepts of needs
and wants and their relative priority.
2. Ask students to discuss the exercise questions in groups, and then to share
their discussion results with the whole class.
3. Present material 43 to students and briefly explains the importance of moral
reasoning in conflict resolutions.
4. Ask students to discuss the exercise questions in group, and then share their
discussion results with the whole class.
5. If opportunity arises, introduce the four main moral considerations people use
in their moral reasoning, namely, rights, utility, fairness, and self-perfection (cf.
Material 44 for teachers’ reference).
6. Emphasize that the basis of morality is our concern for others. At this juncture,
teacher explains the point of the “Guarding angel” activity – to experience the
joy and goodness of caring for others, thus seeing that conflicts need not
always end in our favor; sometimes it is better to be considerate and resolves
conflicts by favoring others.
7. Distribute material 44, if appropriate, for students to read.
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material 37
Type of material: A semester activity
Main Theme
Conflict resolution diary
Instructions
Write a conflict resolution diary item every two weeks. (Students have been asked to
record relevant incidents at the beginning of the semester. Refer to p.1.) For the diary,
1. Observe a conflict which involves you, your friends or relatives, or draw
something from a movie, TV opera, or novel;
2.
3.
4.
5.
Describe what happened. Analyze the cause of the conflict;
Describe how the person involved tried to resolve the conflict;
Invite another person to comment on the resolution; and
Reflect on the comment, and suggest possible ways of improving the conflict
resolution.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material 38
Type of material: Activity
“Guarding Angel”
Main Theme
Let students experience the joy and goodness of caring for others, thus learning that
conflicts need not always end in our favor; sometimes it is better to be considerate and
resolves conflicts by favoring others.
Instructions
Make every student a “guarding angel” to someone in class but do not inform this
someone. Within two weeks, the angel should be able to figure out the needs of
her/his target, and try to care for her/him. The angels must conceal their identities
from their targets. They are never allowed to disclose their identities.
After the period, everybody writes a reflective journal on how s/he feels about caring
for others without their good deeds being made known.
Optional Exercise (discussion session if time allows)
Divide students into groups and discuss what they can do to help foster a caring class
environment. (The teacher may ask students who truly benefit from the exercise to
share their feelings with the whole class.)
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material 39
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Reflect on the best ways to handle conflicts
Article 1
The Dobson Story (I)
Terry Dobson is one of the first Americans ever to study the martial art
aikido in Japan in the 1950’s. One afternoon he was riding home on a suburban
Tokyo train, and a huge and very drunk man got on. The man, staggering, began
terrorizing the passengers: screaming curses, he took a swing at a woman holding
a baby, sending her sprawling. Nearly everyone run to the other end of the car to
avoid him. The drunk then grabbed the metal pole in the middle of the car with a
roar and tried to tear it out of its socket.
At that point Terry, who was in peak physical condition from daily aikido
workouts, thought of stepping in to stop the drunk so that nobody would get hurt.
But he recalled the words of his teacher: “Aikido is the art of reconciliation.
Whoever wants to fight has broken his connection with the universe. If you try to
dominate people you are already defeated. We study how to resolve conflict, not
how to start it.”
Indeed, Terry had agreed upon beginning lessons with his teacher never to
pick a fight, and to use his martial-arts skills only in defense. However, in this
case, he was not picking a fight. He was fighting to protect others. So he did not
think he was breaking his agreement with his teacher. Thinking thus, Terry stood
up slowly and with deliberation.
Reference:
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Exercise 1
1. Imagine you were Terry. What would you do to handle the situation? What would
be your reasons? What would happen as a result?
2. Is the result in your head the only possibility? Now try to imagine other possible
outcomes. Imagine a best scenario and a worst scenario.
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Article 2
The Dobson Story (II)
Seeing Terry, the drunk roared, “Aha! A foreigner! You need a lesson in
Japanese manners!” and began gathering himself to fight Terry.
But just as the drunk was to start the fight, someone gave an oddly joyous
shout: “Hey!”
The shout had the cheery tone of someone who has suddenly come upon a
fond friend. The drunk, surprised, spun around to see a tiny elderly Japanese
man. The old man smiled warmly at the drunk, and beckoned him over with a
light wave of his hand and a lilting “Come here.”
The drunk strode and asked menacingly, “why the hell should I talk to you?”
Meanwhile, Terry was ready to fell the drunk in a moment if he made the least
violent move.
“Why are you drinking?” the old man asked, his eyes smiling at the drunk.
“I’ve been drinking sake, and it’s none of your business,” the drunk shouted.
“Oh, that’s wonderful, absolutely wonderful,” the old man replied in a warm
tone. “You see, I love sake, too. Every night, me and my wife (she’s seventy-six,
you know), we warm up a little bottle of sake and take it out into the garden, and
we sit on an old wooden bench …” He continued on about the persimmon tree in
his backyard, the flowers of his garden, enjoying sake in the evening.
The drunk’s face began to soften as he listened to the old man. “Yeah … I
love persimmons too, too …,” he said.
“Yes,” the old man replied in a joyful voice, “and I’m sure you have a
wonderful wife.”
“No,” said the drunk. “My wife died …” Sobbing, he started to tell a sad tale
of losing his wife, his home, his job, and of being ashamed of himself.
Just then the train came to Terry’s stop. As he was getting off, he heard the
old man invite the drunk to join him and tell him all about it, and to see the drunk
sprawl along the seat, his head in the old man’s lap.
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Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Reference:
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.
Exercise 2
1. Do you think the old man has done the right thing? Why?
2. Compare your own reaction and your classmates’ with the old man’s. What are the
merits and weaknesses of these approaches?
3. What have you learned from the story?
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material 40
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Causes and ways of handling conflicts
In the previous exercise we see an example of conflict and how it is resolved. Conflict
is something we all encounter in our lives, and we all know that it is not a pleasant
thing. So what is a conflict?
A conflict is a struggle between at least two people, usually caused by incompatible
wants or goals, or by one person thinking s/he has not been given what s/he deserves.
Now study the following two news clips:
Article 1
10 young men fought over a stare
Two groups of young men, totaling more than 10, fought over a stare after a
quarrel at a Mongkok Road park at about 3 am yesterday. Among them, a Chui
XXX Hin, aged 17, got a kitchen knife from a restaurant and wounded two
youths. Chui escaped. The police arrived and sent the victims to hospital. Soon
the Mongkok District Anti-Triad Squad found Chui and arrested him in Mongkok
Road while taking anti-crime actions nearby.
Sources:
Mingpao, 30 January, 2003.
Apple Daily, 30 January, 2003.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Article 2
Attempted suicide after quarrel over family matters
Kwan XXX, aged 33, after consuming a lot of alcohol, sat on the plant rack of
his flat’s balcony on the 9th floor of Duke Garden at 2 Duke Road. It was alleged
that he did so because of a quarrel with his family. His girlfriend, scared by his
behaviour, tried to stop him while neighbours called the police. Soon after the
police and firemen arrived, Kwan calmed down and went back into the flat.
Kwan hurt a left palm and was sent to hospital for treatment.
Sources:
Mingpao, 31 January, 2003.
Apple Daily, 31 January, 2003.
Discussion
1. What are the causes of these two cases of conflict? Is there any similarity between
them?
2. What actions are taken by the protagonists to deal with the conflicts?
3. With reference to the two cases, do you think the situations warrant such actions?
4. What would you do if you were faced with similar situations? Would you take a
different course of action? If yes, what would it be?
5. Apart from the actual outcome, what possible outcome can you think of (if
different courses of actions were taken)? How do different outcomes result from
different ways of handling conflicts?
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material 41
Type of material: Reading with role-play exercise
Main Theme
Be aware of our responses to conflicts and learn how to handle them better
Article
As we have pointed out, conflict arises when people’s goals are seen to be
incompatible. When goals are seen to be incompatible, the situation is understood
as a zero-sum game. In a zero-sum game, your victory is my loss, while your loss
is my victory. So there are three typical outcomes:
1. win-lose
2. lose-win
3. draw
However, in many cases the game is not zero-sum. There can also be a fourth and
a fifth possibility:
4. lose-lose
5.
win-win.
Consequences in conflict resolution depend very much our responses.
According to Thomas Kilman, there are five types of conflict management styles.
1.
Competition (high concern for self, low concern for others) – The conflicts
are resolved by wills.
2.
Avoidance (low concern for both self and others) – One party is aware of
potential conflicts and avoids confronting the other party.
3.
Accommodation (low self concern, high concern for others) – One party
tries to meet the goals and wants of the other party first. One’s own
4.
5.
immediate goals (relatively less important) are put aside.
Collaboration (high on both concerns) – One respects the other person’s
goals and work out strategies to have both parties’ goals fulfilled.
Compromise (moderate on both concerns) – Both parties are fairly equal in
power, competing for a while, then reach agreement to get part of their
goals fulfilled.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
High
Collaboration
Win-win
Competition
Win-lose
Concern for Self
Compromise
Draw
Avoidance
Lose-lose
Accommodation
Lose-win
Low
High
Concern for Others
Third-Party conflict resolutions:
Sometimes, we need a third party to help us resolve our conflicts with others. The
third party usually has already gained trust from both parties. The third-party
would analyze the problems and try to offer suggestions objectively in order to
fulfill both parties’ goals and wants.
Reference:
Miller, Katherine. Organizational Communication: approaches and processes. United States:
Wadsworth Publishing Company, 1999.
Exercise
1. Divide the class into four groups. Then divide each group into three sub-groups.
The subgroups take up the following roles:
a) Subgroup A: Residents of Fantasy Villa
b) Subgroup B: AIDS patients
c) Subgroup C: Social Workers
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Key Point b – Managing conflicts
2. The government plans to build an AIDS clinic in Fantasy Villa. Residents of the
villa do not want to have an AIDS clinic there because (1) they simply do not like
AIDS patients believing most are homosexuals and drug abusers; (2) residents are
afraid that with many AIDS patients living in and coming to the villa, they will be
more likely to be infected by the AIDS virus.
3. Now each group does the following:
a) Subgroups A and B discuss how to formulate arguments in support of their
positions, and Subgroup C works out a plan for conflict resolution.
b) Subgroups A, B, and C come together to negotiate for a final decision.
c) During the negotiation, subgroups hold different attitudes:
Group 1
Group 2
Group 3
Group 4
Subgroup A
Collaboration
Competition
Competition
Avoidance
Subgroup B
Collaboration
Competition
Avoidance
Competition
d) At the end of the negotiation, each group presents the outcome in terms of the
following issues:
(i) Is there any agreement? How easy or how difficult is it for the groups to
reach an agreement?
(ii) Is it a good agreement? Why?
(iii) Refer to the above diagram. Discuss how different attitudes adopted by
the conflicting parties affect how the agreement is reached and its quality.
Homework
Name a real life example of each of the five typical outcomes listed in the Article.
Discuss how situations of the first four types can become win-win situations.
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material 42
Type of material: Exercise
Main Theme
Distinguish between needs and wants so that conflicts can be resolved more
reasonably.
Introduction
In conflict, people usually try to get as much as possible. It is important to
distinguish between needs and wants. Needs are things which are required for
physical and psychological health. Without satisfying basic needs, you may not
survive. Wants are different. You wish you can own something and achieve some
goals. However, it may not hurt at all if you cannot own them or achieve them. When
we try to resolve a conflict, needs have priority over wants. For example, it is
reasonable that we give way when the conflict is between what we want with what the
others need. Just think: if it is the other way round, and others take what they want,
thus depriving you of your basic needs, wouldn’t you be mad?
Exercise
1. Discuss whether the following are needs or wants.
a) First place in an exam;
b) A pass in an exam;
c) A loving relationship;
d) Having XXX as your lover;
e) A new CD by a popular singer;
f) Extra money for social gathering;
g) Entertainment;
h) A birthday party;
i) A mobile phone.
2. List 10 things that you want most at the moment. Discuss whether they are wants
or needs.
3. Compare your needs with your classmates, how similar or how different are they?
Does that help you understand the needs of others?
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Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material 43
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
(The importance of) moral reasoning in conflict resolution
Article
There is a close relation between conflict resolution and moral reasoning.
Moral reasoning is reasoning in order to decide what the right thing to do is.
While resolving a conflict requires us to do something, our choices may be right
in some cases and wrong in other cases. According to Lawrence Kohlberg,
dealing with moral dilemmas helps people improve their moral reasoning. Below
is an example:
In Europe, a woman was dying from a special kind of cancer. There
was one drug that the doctors thought might save her. It was a form
of radium that a druggist in the same town had recently discovered.
The drug was expensive to make, but the druggist was charging ten
times what the drug cost him to make. He paid $400 for the radium
and charged $4,000 for a small dose of the drug. The sick woman’s
husband, Heinz, went to everyone he knew to borrow the money,
but he could only get together about $2,000, which is half of what it
cost. He told the druggist that his wife was dying and asked him to
sell it cheaper or let him pay later. The druggist said, “No, I
discovered the drug and I’m going to make money from it.” So
Heinz got desperate and broke into the man’s store to steal the drug
for his wife. — Should the husband have done that? Why or why
not?
Reference:
Kohlberg, Lawrence. The philosophy of moral development. London: Harper & Row, Publishers,
1981.
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Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Exercise
1. Imagine you are Heinz. What would you do? Why?
2. Compare your answer with your classmates’ and discuss which is more
appropriate. Reflect on your reasons. Determine which answer you find most
convincing. What kind of reasons (moral considerations) are you using to
determine which answer is the most convincing? Happiness for the parties
concerned? The rights of the persons involved? What is considered to be fair?
3. Now imagine you are the druggist. Would you endorse your answer for question 2?
Then imagine you are Heinz’s wife. Would you endorse the view of the druggist?
4. The activity in question 3 is called “ideal role taking.” It means everybody takes
the role of others in order to reflect on one’s own moral choices. Now imagine all
three parties sit together to discuss the best solution to the conflict, and everybody
is willing to do this ideal role taking. Do you think they can then arrive at an
agreement? What do you think this agreement is going to be?
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Material 44 (for teachers’ reference)
Main Theme
Four main moral considerations
Rights
We are living in an era with plenty of talks on rights. What is a right? One widely
accepted answer is that a right is a claim to the protection of interests of people that
are valid simply because they are human. For some reason or other, rights are most
often understood in terms of freedom from interference and coercion. You always hear
people say things like “The school should not ban colour treatment of hair because it
is our right to choose the colour of our own hair.” or “Having more than one boy/girl
friend is nothing wrong because one should have the right to choose one’s partner
before one gets married.” Whether you agree with these statements or not, these kinds
of claims are typical of today’s moral discourse.
A principle closely related to the concept of right is the “harm principle,” which
is first put forward by John Stuart Mill, a great liberal thinker. The harm principle
states that one should be granted the right to do anything as far as one’s behaviour
brings no harm to anybody.
The sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or
collectively in interfering with the liberty of action of any of
their member, is self-protection.
— Mill. On Liberty
Respect for the rights of others is often viewed as an absolute value in our days.
If this is correct, then we have to put the rights of each person in the number one
position.
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Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Utility
Another important concept in conflict resolution and moral reasoning is that of
utility. Utility means anything that is good. The principle of utility states that we,
either as individual members of society or as a society, should always behave in such
a manner that utility is maximized. In other words, all individual and social
behaviours are correct if and only if they produce the most good and the least evil. As
for the question of what constitutes good, the most commonly held belief (though not
a universal consensus) is that the only good is happiness or pleasure.
Fairness
An obvious shortcoming of the principle of utility is that it may sometimes give
rise to unfair distribution of good. For example, a government may want to confiscate
a farmland from its owner to build a highway. The net utility for the public may be
very great, but since this will put the farmer in a very disadvantageous position, it
may still be unfair of the government to do so. John Rawls, a great political
philosopher in the 20th century, suggests that we must be fair to all parties in our
decisions. Although his theory deals chiefly with social institutions, some core ideas
of his theory can be applied to personal moral choices too, especially his “maximin”
(maximizing the minimum) principle:
When we resolve a conflict we have to maximize the gain of the
party who is the least advantaged.
Rawls, John. A Theory of Justice. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1973.
Self-perfection
On the view of perfectionism, our life is not worth living unless we try our best
to make ourselves fully human. Take Confucianism as an example: Mencius believes
that compassion is the essence of the human and thus the foundation of all morality.
For Mencius, the good life is a moral life. In this sense, respecting the right of others,
promoting what pleases them, and be fair to them alone are not enough. We also have
to set role models for others and try to shape social environment in a way that helps
them realize their innate compassion and other moral capabilities.
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Key Point c
Developing relationships
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Suggested questions for enquiry
What expectations do family members, peers and other members of society hold
towards one another? Are these expectations reasonable? When these expectations
are not met, what tensions do they bring to the relationships?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Achieve a better understanding of relationship types and the expectations
arising from the role one plays in a relationship;
b) Reflect on whether the role expectations are reasonable;
c) Understand why tensions arise from role expectations and reflect on ways to
cope with the tensions.
ii) Duration:
about 3 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. To begin with this lesson, teacher provides a brief summary of what is going
to be discussed in this section (i.e. relationships and role-expectations).
2. Ask how many kinds of relationships students have with others; whether these
relationships are important to them; and whether it is difficult to handle these
relationships (This serves as warm up discussion).
3. Briefly introduce the relationship types and then ask students to discuss the
questions in material 45 in groups.
4. With reference to question 4, assign categories of relationships to different
groups of students and ask them to make up scenarios to show the different
interactions.
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Lesson 2
1. Present material 46 for students to read.
2. Divide students into groups and ask them to discuss the questions in material
46.
3. Ask group representatives to present the main points of their discussion to the
whole class.
4. Summarize the main points of the discussion and comments on student
reflections as to what expectations are reasonable.
Lesson 3
1. Summarize what have been discussed in the last two lessons on relationships
and role expectations.
2. Present material 47 for students to read.
3. Divide students into groups and ask them to discuss the case material in
material 47.
4. Ask group representatives to present the main points of their discussion to the
whole class.
5. Ask students to write a reflective journal on their own experience of tensions
arising from role expectations. Instructions are given.
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Material 45
Type of material: Discussion with role-play
Main Theme
Different relationship types
Introduction
We have very different relationships with different people. You have a classmate
about whom you hardly know anything. You have another classmate with whom you
share the deepest of secrets. Though they are both your classmates, your relationships
with them are quite different.
According to Mark V. Redmond, relationships can be classified into two types:
relationship of choice and relationship of circumstances. Examples of the former
include friends and lovers, while examples of the latter include classmates, bosses,
colleagues and family members. And, whatever the type of relationship, it can in turn
be described in terms of three different categories: trust, intimacy, and power.
Reference:
Redmond, Mark V. Communication: Theories and Applications. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 2000.
Discussion
1. Decide which of the following relationships are of choice and which are of
circumstances.
a) Friend;
b) Best friend;
c) Sister/brother;
d)
e)
f)
g)
h)
i)
j)
k)
Lover;
Mother/father;
Boss;
Son/daughter;
Wife/husband;
Teacher;
Teammate;
Customer;
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l) Subordinate;
m) Co-worker;
n) Confidant.
2. Discuss how each of the above relationships is to be described according to the
three qualities of trust, intimacy, and power.
3. Can a particular relationship belong to different categories at the same time
(intimate as well as power)? How? Why?
4. How do the different categories affect interaction and communication? Make up
some scenarios for a short role-play.
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Material 46
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Relationships and expectations
Article
The king should behave like a king, the official like an
official, the father like a father, and the son like a son.
— Analects, 12.11
Whenever you have a relationship with others, you are given a role; and with
a role you are given expectations. Indeed, as social animals, we cannot get along
in life without a role, not even among strangers. When you deal with a
shopkeeper, you are playing the role of a customer. And as a customer, you are
expected to pay for what you get from him/her, but not the shopkeeper’s son. In a
public space, you are expected to respect the rights of your fellow human beings.
You are expected to show at least a minimal of kindness to others. If a stranger
comes to you and asks you where the Hong Kong Cultural Centre is, you have an
obligation to tell him/her if you do know its location.
Discussion
1. You play different roles in different social groups. Some examples:
a) friend;
b) citizen;
c) boy/girl;
d) member of an interest group.
Apart from the roles you are playing now, there are also roles that you may play in
the future, such as:
e) boss;
f) husband/wife.
For each of the above roles, list 5 things you think are expected of you by society.
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2. What is a social group? What is the relation between social groups and role
expectations?
3. Discuss whether the expectations listed in your answers to question 1 are
reasonable and reflect on the reasons.
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Material 47
Type of material: Reading with case study
Main Theme
Expectations and tensions
Article
In life, if you want to actualize yourself as well as manage the world around
you, you have to take care of yourself and of others. The best balance is reached
when you can keep your own self while meeting the expectations of the world
around you.
There are very often tensions between you and your role. There are at least
three reasons why this is so. First, you might not feel happy with the role you are
assigned, sometimes not even with the role you have chosen for yourself.
Second, you might agree with the rules which govern the role you are playing,
but with time the rules may harden and lose their meaning so that they cannot
serve the relationship well. Third, whenever there is expectation, usually there is
judgment, and nobody likes to be judged. Judgments are like tests. You do not
always fail a test, and you might even score high marks. But a test is a test. You
do not like it.
If there are so many tensions in expectations, is expectation an evil in itself?
The answer is no. Society needs rules to function, and with rules there are always
expectations. Therefore, the problem is not whether there should be expectations,
but what expectations should there be, and how we can cope with the tensions
thus generated.
Reference:
楊蓓。《自在溝通：EQ 成長的泉源活水》。台北：洪建全教育文化基金會，1997。
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Exercise: Case Study
Nowadays there is a growing tendency for people to challenge the established social
order. There are people who claim that extra-marital sex is morally permissible, and
there are also people who proclaim that gay marriages should be allowed. (The first is
a challenge to the role expectations of married couples, while the second a challenge
to the role expectations of gender.) How do you cope with this tension between role
expectations and individual preferences? Use the following example for your
discussion:
Professional Code Banning Teacher-Student Romance
The Code Committee working under the Council on Professional Conduct in
Education will table the revised edition of the Professional Code for Hong Kong
Educators by March or April. A new article will be added to the Code to advise
teachers not to initiate romantic relationship with students. Since the Council has no
legal authority, it can only “advise” teachers to follow the guideline. Whether teachers
who violate the code should be punished will be left with the Head of the Education
Department.
The reason why the Council has to revise the present Code and add articles to
restrict romantic relationships between teachers and students is that the problem is
getting serious in recent years. Teachers have committed suicide or been jailed
because of their love affairs with students. The Council therefore decided to revise the
code. According to the Council, complaints against teacher-student romantic ties show
an overall upward tendency. It fluctuates from 12 cases in 1994 to a lower level of 10
in 1996, and then to a high of 25 in 1998, which was a record high.
Sources:
Singtao Daily, 27 January 2000.
Apple Daily, 28 January 2000.
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Discussion
1. What is the role of a teacher? What is the role of a student?
2. What is the role of a lover?
3. Are there any tensions between the two roles? How would you respond to a
teacher if you suspect that he/she has romantic feelings towards you? Would that
make you happy or would it cause any trouble in your relationship with him/her
and would it be disruptive of your study?
Homework
Read the Article once more. Pay special attention to the reasons that cause tensions
from expectations. Has there been any incident in your life in which caused you to
feel such tensions? What causes it? How do you cope with it? Write a reflective
journal in which you:
1. share your experience;
2. evaluate whether you have coped with it successfully and explain why or why not;
3. suggest better ways to deal with similar situations.
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Suggested questions for enquiry
When an intimate relationship is being built, do mutual expectations necessarily
grow? Does intimacy imply mutual commitment? How should one prepare to go
into intimate relationship?
i) Learning objectives:
a) Achieve a better understanding of intimacy;
b) Reflect on how to prepare oneself for intimacy.
ii) Duration:
about 3 lessons
iii) Suggested learning activities:
Lesson 1
1. To begin with these 3 lessons, provide a brief summary of what is going to be
discussed in these lessons (i.e. preparation for an intimate relationship).
2. Ask what students think about intimate relationship. Is it important to them? Is
it something that is difficult to handle? (This serve as warm up discussion).
3. After a short discussion, conduct the questionnaire in material 48.
4. Analyze and discuss the results with students.
5. Discuss specifically with students whether they agree with the results of the
analysis and what they are now thinking after completing the questionnaire.
6. Organise students in groups to discuss the questions in material 48.
7. Give material 49 to students to read at home. Students are instructed to write
down a brief reflection for the discussion questions of material 49 for the next
lesson.
Lesson 2
1. Summarize the main points of the article in material 49.
2. Discuss the exercise questions in groups.
3. Ask group representatives to present their sharing to the whole class.
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Lesson 3
1.
2.
3.
4.
Present material 50 for students to read.
Ask students to finish the Exercise.
Organise group discussions on answers to the Exercise.
Ask group representatives to present the main points of their discussion to the
whole class.
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Material 48
Type of material: Activity & assessment
Main Theme
Assessing attitudes towards love
Assessment Test — Your attitudes towards love
Read the following statements carefully and circle the numerals that best express your
opinions. Answer all questions.
1 = Strongly agree
2 = Agree
5 = Strongly disagree
3 = Undecided
4 = Disagree
1.
Love is love. It is a feeling, and cannot be understood by
1
reason.
2
3
4
5
2.
It is a tragedy to love a person whom you can not marry.
1
2
3
4
5
3.
Neither common interests nor a shared ideal is important
1
if love is true.
2
3
4
5
4.
If you love one other, getting married after only a few
1
2
3
4
5
5.
You should know if you love a person after meeting
1
him/her once or twice.
2
3
4
5
6.
Differences in religion do not matter if you love one
1
other.
2
3
4
5
7.
You can love a person even if you like none of his/her
1
friends.
2
3
4
5
8.
You feel confused when you are in love.
1
2
3
4
5
9.
Love at first sight is the deepest and the most long lasting
1
love.
2
3
4
5
10. When you are in love, it does not matter what your lover
does, for you will still love him/her in spite of 1
everything.
2
3
4
5
11. You can solve all the problems s/he creates in the
1
relationship if you love her/him.
2
3
4
5
12. If you really love a person, you will marry him/her
1
regardless of what.
2
3
4
5
months’ of acquaintance poses no problem.
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13. You can love somebody only if marrying him/her will
1
make you happy.
2
3
4
5
14. Love is a feeling rather than a relationship.
1
2
3
4
5
15. In most cases, you know s/he is the right one if there is
1
an “electric shock” at the first sight.
2
3
4
5
16. What you do in love is a product of your feeling, not
1
thinking.
2
3
4
5
17. Love is exciting rather than peaceful.
1
2
3
4
5
18. Your judgments are usually less clear when you are in
1
love.
2
3
4
5
19. Differences in social status and religion are much less
1
important than love when choosing a spouse.
2
3
4
5
20. Whatever people say, love cannot be understood.
2
3
4
5
1
Analysis of the questionnaire
The answers you circled reflect to a certain extent your attitudes towards love.
1. For Questions 1, 14, and 20:
a) If you choose 1 or 2, then you believe that love is an abstract concept that goes
beyond the scrutiny of reason.
b) If you choose 4 or 5, then you believe that love has a deep meaning that can be
scrutinized, and you would keep on examining its components, be they
material, cognitive, emotional, or social.
2. For Questions 5, 9, and 15:
a) If you agree with these statements, you have probably fallen in love at first
sight. Time is just a means to check whether this love at first sight lasts.
b) If you have already experienced a stormy passion, you would probably choose
4 or 5.
c) Love includes caring for the whole person and it is difficult to discover love at
first sight. Obsession develops fast and it is built on material and sexual
interests. Unless the couple involved spends much time together to understand
each other, it would be difficult to develop love on such foundations. Of
course, obsession can develop into love too. But obsession is unhealthy,
incomplete and immature.
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3. For Questions 2, 13:
a) If you choose 1 or 2, you believe that love and marriage combined form the
biggest blessing in life. Perhaps you have been in love with somebody you
cannot marry.
b) If you do not agree with these statements, you believe that a couple can love
each other deeply even without the possibility of marriage.
4. For Questions 3, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, and 19:
a) The common theme of these statements is “love conquers all” and that shared
friends, interests, and religions are not essential for love.
b) If you choose 1 or 2, you believe that love can come to two persons of
different backgrounds, attitudes and interests more than to people with similar
characters.
c) If you do not agree with these statements, you believe that love grows best on
a soil of similarities. Actually, people with similar backgrounds do have an
advantage in adapting to each other.
d) This does not mean that people of different backgrounds can never build a
happy relationship together. It is just that they need to put more effort to build
a good foundation for their love.
5. For Question 4:
a) Those who agree with the statement indicate the belief that, if a couple loves
each other, getting married in a few months poses no problem.
b) There is a positive relationship between the length of courtship and adaptation
to life in marriage. Couples that get married at least a year after knowing each
other usually adapts better to marriage life. If we do want to get married fast,
we have to make sure that the marriage is not built on passion only.
6. For Questions 8, 16, 17, and 18:
a) These statements reflect the view that in loving someone, feeling is absolutely
more important than reason.
b) If you strongly agree with this view, you are probably not able to review your
relationship with a clear mind, or decide what you should or should not do
with your relationship.
c) However, if you strongly disagree with this view, you are very much a rational
person and probably not very romantic or passionate.
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
What is love to you? Feelings? Passions? Commitment? Responsibility?
Are you eager to develop romantic relationship with others? Why?
Can you explain why “love” is so attractive to many of us today?
What is the concept of love depicted in our movies and TV shows? Do you agree
with them?
5. What do you expect to experience when you fall in love?
6. Is there an ideal form of love? Why? What is it?
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Material 49
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Intimate relationship and responsibilities
Article
When one speaks about intimacy one cannot avoid discussing love, for
without love there can be no real intimate relationship, though you may have a
feeling of intimacy. Building a loving relationship is like building anything else:
if you do not train before you build, the house collapses. And if there are people
living in the building, it kills. Love can kill.
So Fromm, a great psychoanalyst, is definitely right when he says love can be
learned, and it has to be learned. And indeed to learn to love is the first duty of
all: love is the building block of all personal relationships, particularly the family.
The family is the building block of personality. If love rots, people rot, so does
society. So what is love? Below are Fromm’s answers:
First, love is an active capacity. Love does not just happen to us. It exists only
through my activities. Love requires effort. It is not a matter of doing nothing or
simply sitting there enjoying what the so-called love brings to us.
Fromm points out that in modern society people mistakenly take love as a
matter of “who” (object). People keep searching for a “lovely and smart” person
to fall in love with. Their concern is to find the right person for their romantic
relationship. They think that when they find the ‘right’ person, everything else
would fall in place. Every problem will be solved. However, Fromm claims that
love is not a matter of who but a matter of ability. What is important is a person
having the capacity, ability, knowledge and skill to love. A limited loving
capacity is the usual cause of a failed love.
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Second, love is characterized by care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge (or
understanding if you prefer).
Love should never be confused with conformity or dominance. True love is
“union under the condition of preserving one’s own integrity, one’s
individuality.” Conformity, on the contrary, is the destruction of one’s integrity
for the sake of union, while dominance is the destruction of the other’s integrity
in the process.
References:
Fromm, Erich. The Art of Loving. New York: HarperPerennial, 1989.
Exercise
The article above introduces a few highly abstract principles about love, but no real
content. So discuss the following questions about the real content of love.
1. What is the real content of love? Should lovers be loyal to each other?
2. What does loyalty mean if it is a duty for lovers?
3. What is the difference between the love of lovers and love among friends or
family members?
4. What are the common mistakes people today usually make when they engage in
“love”?
5. If love is an art, what does it mean?
6. How do we learn “the art of loving”?
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Material 50
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Love, family, and role expectations
Article
Many scholars believe that it is impossible to define family. Sociologist Goode
has made up a list of family characteristics, so that the more a social group
resembles this model, the more properly it can be called a family.
1. There are at least two adults of the opposite sex living together.
2. There is a division of labor between the two persons.
3. The two persons have a sexual relationship, share material resources, and are
involved in each other’s social lives.
4. The adults and children have a parent-child relationship. The children respect
their parents and obey them. The parents possess certain authority and have
the responsibility of nurturing and protecting the children.
5. The children have the relationship of being brothers and sisters. They have a
responsibility to share joy and sorrow, and support and protect one another.
From this model, we can see two core elements of a family. First, the family is
a social setting in which children are born and nurtured. Though not all couples
want to have children, the family is still there to guarantee the care needed for
children to grow and develop. The family is thus the ground of support for the
growth of the children.
Second, the family is a community in which every member is given a number
of responsibilities. Zillmann points out that the most important characteristics of
family relationship is that it involves long term commitment. And for many, this
commitment is life-long. That is why Macklin quotes from a man at his wedding,
“I can never leave my wife. She’s my family.” This life-long commitment is the
core of family values.
Reference:
楊國榮。＜傳媒與家庭＞。《看透．樂透．玩透：傳媒教育活動冊》。香港：突破出版社，
2003。
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Questions for discussion
1. What are the characteristics of a family?
Exercise
1.
What roles do you play in your family? What are the expectations attached to
these roles? How reasonable are these expectations?
Roles
Role
Expectations
Reflections on the expectations
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
2. If you can reflect on your own roles, so can you reflect on the roles of family
members. Now figure out what you expect of your family members and evaluate
these expectations.
Family
members and
their roles
Role
Expectations
Reflections on the expectations
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
Both Material 49 and 50 state that love (especially romantic love) is an essential
element in a family. Do you agree? Why?
How do we maintain a good family relationship?
What is the relationship between romantic love, marriage and family?
142
Optional Learning Materials
(Note:
Most of the materials referred to in this package are copyright protected and
hence cannot be reprinted here. However, they can easily be found in local
libraries.)
143
Issue 1
What kind of person
would I like to be?
144
Key Point a
Developing self-awareness
Suggested questions for enquiry
How can one understand oneself?
How can the way others see oneself help one know oneself?
How can one find out one’s interests, orientations, and the things valued?
How did the process and background of growth shape the person?
How should one perceive one’s own strengths and limitations?
How does one’s aspiration for the future influence the way one lives?
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Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A1
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Different types of self
Article
黃惠惠。
《自我與人際溝通》
。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996，第三
章：<三我齊觀>。
Discussion
1. According to the above article, there are three different types of self:
a) Ideal Self
b) Real Self
c) Social Self (self as seen by others)
Does this understanding match your experience (i.e., do you find all the three
types of self within you)?
2. Are these selves consistent with each other? Why or why not?
3. Have you tried to integrate the different selves?
4. Do you feel strange that you don’t know which self is your “real” self?
Extended discussion
The humanistic school of psychology claims that a human being has a real self and an
ideal self. Human beings always try to narrow the gap between the two selves and
have the need to self-actualize. If they find that the gap is too wide and cannot be
reduced (due to their own limitations or social pressures), they suffer from
psychological imbalance.
1. Do you agree?
2. What hinders people from self-actualizing and achieving their ideal self?
3. Do you think the process of self-actualization is painful? Why?
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Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A2
Type of material: Activity
Main Theme
Description of self; identify significant aspects of self; how one’s past affects present
identity
Producing your “Self Photo-album”
Instructions
1. Construct a personal self-photo album by taking 20 photos.
2. Each photo represents a part of you (your identity) or denotes a significant event
of your life.
3. The album may include a special object such as an old toy, a medal that you won
when you were five years old, or anything special or important to you.
4. Write a brief description for each of the photos.
5. Share your photo album with your classmates and ask them to write down their
comments in the guest book section.
Discussion
1. Do you have difficulty describing your self? What makes it difficult?
2. Is there anything or event in your life which defines the person that you are today?
3. What makes these things or events so important to you? Do you see any common
characteristics or themes in these happenings?
4. What feedback have you received from your classmates about your photo album?
How do you feel about their comments?
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Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A3
Type of Material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Story telling & listening
Article
區祥江。
《生命軌跡：助人成長的十大關鍵》
。香港：突破出版社，2000，頁 25-39，
<講故事與成長>。
Discussion
1. How does “story telling” contribute to development and growth?
2. What makes a person a good storyteller or story-listener?
3. Share any episode or story which has helped you get to know more about your self
and grow.
4. Do you know any good story-listener? How do you know that that person is a
good listener of your story?
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Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A4
Type of Material: Activity
Main Theme
Role-play; practising listening skills
Instructions
In the following scenario, try to play the roles of the protagonists:
(Teacher may develop some other situations.)
Bruce complains, “What the hell! I spent a whole week on this report and got
only a B while Juno got an A for the report he rushed out in a day by just copying
from the Internet. Isn’t there any standard for grading reports? How could Miss Wong
be so unfair? I think she is not qualified to be a teacher.” There are different responses
from Bruce’s classmates.
A: “I don’t’ believe Miss Wong grades paper without any standard. It is impossible to
be totally fair, but I think Miss Wong must have tried her best.”
B: “You should assess your report objectively before making any accusations.
Probably there are faults in your report which makes it worth a B only. Miss Wong
must have her reasons.”
C: “You should not be so upset. Unfairness prevails in the world and that’s the way
things are. As long as you think your report is good, be proud of it and never mind
the grades.”
D: “Have you ever read Juno’s report with care? I think you should compare his
report and yours, and see the difference. It might help you write better reports in
the future.”
Discussion
1. Suppose you are Bruce, how would you feel about the responses from your
classmates? Which one do you like most and which least? Why?
2. Suppose you are one of Bruce’s classmates, how would you respond to his
complaint? Why do you think your response is appropriate?
3. What makes a person a good listener?
149
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A5
Type of Material: Exercise
Main Theme
Know yourself and grow through writing
Exercise 1
From Myra Schneider’s Writing for self-discovery: a personal approach to creative
writing (Shaftesbury; Boston, Mass.: Element, 1998) pp. 1 – 10 (“Part One: Getting in
touch with your feelings”), choose from among the following exercises for student
writing assignment:
a) At this moment;
b) Personal Landscapes;
c) Desert Islands;
d) Positive and Negative;
e) Patterning;
f) Influences.
Discussion
1. Which exercises have you written on?
2. Have you written something that surprises you?
3. Which characteristics of writing contribute to development and growth?
4. Which special characteristics make writing unique and different from telling
stories or listening to them?
5. Do you have a writing habit, say writing journals or diary? Do you write
frequently or rarely? Why?
6. There are researches which show that “people who write journal frequently have a
more balanced and happy life. And they seem to know more about themselves
than those who don’t write”. Do you agree? Why?
150
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Exercise 2
From Myra Schneider’s Writing for self-discovery: a personal approach to creative
writing (Shaftesbury; Boston, Mass.: Element, 1998), pp. 11–86 (“Part Two:
Techniques”), choose from among the following exercises for student writing
assignment:
a) Flow-writing;
b)
c)
d)
e)
f)
g)
h)
Clustering;
Modeling;
Tapping into memory;
Image exploration;
Letters, Dramatized Scenes, Narratives and Internal Dialogues;
Dreams and active imaginings;
Drawing as a stimulus.
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
What topics have you written on?
Have you written something using these techniques?
Do you find the above techniques helpful in exploring your inner self? Why?
Which technique(s) do you find most useful and fun? Share with your classmates.
Share the technique(s) with your friends and ask them to try them. Invite them to
share with you what they have written.
6. Evaluate the above techniques on the basis of their feedback.
151
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A6
Type of material: Assessment tool
Main Theme
Self-concept and its components
Assessment Test
Bracken, Bruce A. Multidimensional Self Concept Scale. Austin, Tex.: Pro-Ed, 1992.
Instructions & Explanations of the Assessment
Bracken, Bruce A. Multidimensional Self Concept Scale – Examiner’s Manual. Austin,
Tex.: Pro-Ed, 1992.
152
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A7
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Recognize how family and parenting style shape values and behaviours
Article
《獨立 vs. 倚賴成長建構的安全感》
。香港經濟日報，2002 年 12 月 17 日，C01。
Discussion
1. Analyze the two cases mentioned in the above article:
a) What are the differences between the two protagonists in terms of their
behaviours, values and relationships with their families?
b) How do their families affect or shape their values and behaviours?
c) What other factors contribute to the differences?
2. In the above article, there are two diametrically opposite parenting styles:
a) Is the parenting style of your parents similar to either of the two? If not, how
does it differ from them?
b) If you could choose from either of the three (the two mentioned in the article
and that of your own parents), which one would you prefer? Why?
c) Is there an ideal parenting style for all children and parents? If yes, what is it?
153
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A8
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
How gender role and social expectation affect and hinder the development of a person
Article
蔡元雲、區祥江。《男人的面具》。香港：突破出版社，2002，頁 1-44，<由面具
塑成的男人>。
Discussion
1. What is a persona?
2. Are personae good or bad?
3. What are the personality characteristics for male and female as mentioned in the
article?
4. Do you wear a persona when you interact with others of the same and opposite sex?
Why?
5. Interview your male classmates, ask if they behave the way the article describes it.
Why?
6. Interview your female classmates, ask if they behave the way the article describes
it. Why?
154
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A9
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Understanding different stages of the human life and the particularity of each stage
Article
鄭肇楨著。《心理學》。香港。商務印書館，1986，頁 224-235。
Discussion
1. According to Erikson’s psychosocial theory, which stage are you presently in?
What do you need to accomplish in this stage according to his theory? Why?
2. How many stages have you passed? Have you “resolved” every “crisis” in the
previous stages? Share your experience with your classmates.
155
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A10
Type of material: Group Project
Main Theme
Making a personal developmental profile
Guidelines for Making a Developmental Profile
This profile requires you and each of your group members to apply the materials
you have learned which are relevant to your development and personal growth. The
format in which you present your ideas is flexible. You are encouraged to include
photos, videos, pictures, cartoons, charts, objects, or any other “clippings” you
consider appropriate. You may make short-videos for the project. The profile should
be about 10 A4 double-spaced pages.
Your profile should focus on your “psychosocial development” such as the
development of self, personality, gender and moral development. Try to think of
particular incidents or experiences. Try also to integrate your experiences and those of
group members. Are some of the incidents you describe typical (universal) or atypical?
And in what ways? Do most of your group members’ experiences support the
developmental trends claimed in the theories you have read? Why or why not? How
have your early experiences affected your later development? Try to describe the
experiences in as much detailed and in-depth as possible. Any period of development,
from infancy to adolescence, may be included in your discussion, but more than one
stage of development should be described in your profile.
Suggestions
You may get ideas about the incidents/experiences you wish to present in your
profile by talking with your parents and siblings, long-time friends and classmates,
and former teachers. You may also wish to look at old photos or go through old school
assignments, letters, or diaries you’ve written. You may find it helpful to compare
your understanding of self with the assessments you have done in class (if any). Bear
in mind that any topics covered in class can be included in your group profile and in
your personal profile.
156
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A11
Type of material: CD-ROM
Main Theme
Self-esteem, Goal setting & Decision-making
The Material
The “Goal Setting & Decision-making” section of Multimedia personal development
[interactive multimedia]: goals, self-esteem, decision making. (Charleston, W. Va.:
Cambridge Research Group, Ltd., 1996.)
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
What is the importance of setting goals in life and in study?
How many types of goals are there? Which types of goals are better?
How do we set reasonable and achievable goals?
How is goal setting related to decision making?
Reflection
1. Have you ever set any goals in study and in life? Share them with your classmates.
2. Have you been successful in achieving your goals? What have you encountered or
experienced in the process?
3. Do you have difficulties striving for your goals?
4. Have you ever felt frustrated and as a result given up?
5. How do you feel after you have achieved the goal(s)? How do you feel when you
fail to achieve it/them?
6. What goals (both short-term and long-term ones) do you now have for the future?
157
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Material A12
Types of material: Assessment tool
Main Theme
Life Orientation Scale (Optimism)
Instructions
Please read the following statements and decide how much you agree with them.
There are no right and wrong answers, and the only thing that matters is that you be
true to yourself when you pick the answers.
Strongly Disagree Neutral
Disagree
i.
When the future is uncertain, usually
I would hope for the best.
ii.
It is easy for me to plan for the
future.
iii.
If something bad happens, it is fate.
iv.
I believe that tomorrow will be
better.
v.
The future usually makes me
anxious when I think about it.
vi.
I think that there is always a way out
of any tight situations.
vii. I expect few things to turn out right.
viii. It is easy for me to feel depressed.
ix.
I seldom expect good things to
happen to me.
x.
I expect that, overall, my life will
consist of more good turns than bad
ones.
158
Agree
Strongly
Agree
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point a – Developing self-awareness
Scoring
1. Add up the score for items i, ii, iv, vi & x (i.e. Strongly Disagree = 1; Disagree = 2;
Neutral = 3; Agree = 4, Strongly Agree = 5).
2. For items iii, v, vii, viii, & ix, reverse the score before adding them up (i.e.
Strongly Disagree = 5; Disagree = 4; Neutral = 3; Agree =2, Strongly Agree = 1).
3. Add up the two sub-total scores and get the total score.
4. The higher the score the more optimistic you are.
References:
Martin Seligman. Learned Optimism. New York, N.Y.: Pocket Books, 1998.
D. J. Mahoney. The longevity strategy,
<http://www.trustmed.com.tw/news/2001/12/11/20011210011e.html>
Discussion
What is meant by “optimism”? What is meant by “pessimism”?
Is optimism good and pessimism bad, or the opposite? In what sense?
When you experience uncertainties, how do you usually react?
What do you expect of your future?
Do you think optimistic persons live more satisfactory and happier lives? Why or
why not?
6. Can an optimistic personality be acquired?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
159
Key Point b
Self-esteem and recognition by
others
Suggested questions for enquiry
What is the worth of a person?
By what standards does modern society evaluate a person?
Are these standards worth identifying with?
How does the recognition of others influence one’s values and behaviours?
What significance does self-esteem have to the well-being of a person?
How does a person with high self-esteem behave?
160
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material A13
Type of materials: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
What is self-esteem; and how it affects behaviours
Reading
Karen Katafiasz. Self-esteem Therapy. Indiana: Abbey Press, 1995. (a pictorial book)
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
What is the basis of self-esteem?
Why is childhood important in the development of self-esteem?
Do your parents help you develop self-esteem?
What’s the difference between the East and West in terms of parenting style?
What traditional Chinese cultural values affect the development of children’s
self-esteem?
6. What is shame? How is “healthy” and “toxic” shame related to self-esteem?
7. How can we build up self-esteem?
Reflection
1. Share any experience in which you feel a sense of worth from the response of
other people.
2. Reflect on your way of thinking and acting. Do they show self-esteem?
3. Pay attention to the style of your interaction with family, friends and classmates.
How do such interactions affect each other’s self-esteem?
161
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point b – Self-esteem and recognition by others
Material A14
Type of material: CD-ROM
Main Theme
Self-esteem, Goal setting & Decision-making
Material
The “Self-esteem” section of Multimedia personal development [interactive
multimedia]: goals, self-esteem, decision making. Charleston, W. Va.: Cambridge
Research Group, Ltd., 1996.
Discussion
1. How do people with high and low self-esteem behave?
2. How do they face difficulties and daily challenges?
3. How do social interactions affect self-esteem?
4. How do we resist the negative effects of labelling and criticism?
162
Key Point c
Self-management
Suggested questions for enquiry
How can one’s physical and emotional needs be appreciated and handled?
How can one identify the factors affecting one’s behaviours?
How can one cope with problems, difficulties and major changes in life?
How do decisions of today affect one's long-term personal interest?
How can one learn to set goals and work to achieve these goals?
163
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material A15
Type of material: Activity with exercise
Main Theme
Sex roles
A view on sex roles
We all feel that male and female are different, and indeed they are. There is hot
debate in recent years whether the differences are of nature or nurture, and the trend
favours the nurture theory. However, given the differences in bodily structure and
hormones, it is quite impossible to say that male and female psychological differences
are a product of nurture totally. Nevertheless, it is still quite obvious that traditional
sex roles (a matter of cultural nurture) exert an enormous influence on how we view
ourselves and the opposite sex, and these traditional views may or may not be
reasonable.
Games
Here are a few games to test our views about the sexes.
Activity 1
Decide whether the following qualities are
a. masculine,
b. feminine, or
c. neutral.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
meek
delicate
decisive
courage
forthright and uninhibited
persistent
diligent
8. body-conscious
9. irritable
10. caring
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Key Point c – Self-management
11. crude
12. aggressive
Activity 2
With whom would you like to do the following thing? By whom and in what ways do
you wish to be served? (You can choose more than one answer, and you can amend
your answers with a short elaboration.)
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
Your father
Your mother
Your brother
Your sister
Your male friend
Your female friend
1. Playing football with you
2. Playing tennis with you
3. Buying underwear with you
4. Listening to you about how you feel
5. Taking care of your baby nephew
6. Cooking dinner
7. Doing housework
8. Being the bread winner of the family
9. Fixing the door of a cabinet
10. Installing software
(You can add more activities to the list to further show the similarities and differences
between expectations for the sexes.)
Exercise
1. Reflect on your answers and then decide whether there needs to be any division of
labor between male and female?
2. What are the reasons, if any, for the division of labor between male and female?
Why?
165
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 1 – What kind of person would I like to be?
Key Point c – Self-management
Material A16
Type of Material: Local TV program
香港電台。<逐夢者>。《鐵窗邊緣》。2002 年 10 月 22 日。
Summary
Jacky is a young man who has been engaging in criminal activities such as burglary
and fake credit cards. Because of the life he has chosen for himself, his wife, Sally,
left him. He does not want to lose his daughter as well.
Discussion
1. Jacky wants to make a lot of money. Is it wrong? Do you want to earn money
when you leave school?
2. If you want money, and if breaking the law can help you make money, why not
break the law?
3. If Jacky surrounds himself with gangsters, why did he choose a wife from a
different walk of life? What is happiness after all?
4. Imagine you are Sally. What would you say to Jacky when he tells you he is part
of a gang making fake credit cards? Why?
5. Jacky believes that he can get away with crime if he does it only once or twice.
What is wrong with this idea?
6. Jacky believes that to be good to his parents he needs to make a lot of money for
them. Is he correct? If you were his parents, what would you want him to do?
166
Issue 2
How do I get along with others?
167
Key Point a
Interpersonal communication
Suggested questions for enquiry
What constitutes effective interpersonal communication?
How can one understand one’s patterns in interpersonal communication?
What are the perspectives for understanding the feelings and behaviours
of others?
How do these different perspectives affect one's interpersonal
communication and acceptance of others?
168
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material A17
Type of Material: Reading with discussion
Main theme
Emotions and thoughts in communication
Article
黃惠惠。
《自我與人際溝通》
。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996，第七
章：<情緒與思想>。
Discussion
1. What are emotions?
2. How do emotions develop in a human person?
3. How do emotional expressions influence interpersonal communications? Illustrate
your answer with personal experience.
4. How do irrational thoughts come to us?
5. How do irrational thoughts hinder effective communications? Illustrate your
answer with personal experiences.
169
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material A18
Type of material: Game with discussions
Main theme
One-way and two-way communications, and tacit understandings; verbal and
nonverbal communications
Instructions
1. Teacher prepares several figures with similar complexity like the one below.
(Sample figure)
2. Divide students into groups of 5-6. Ask a representative from each group to come
out and study a figure (depending on the space of the classroom, several group
representatives may study the same figure or different figures with similar
complexity).
3. Different instructions are given to different groups, as follows:
a) Ask some of the group representatives to turn their back from the group and
try to verbally tell the group mates the components and structures of the figure.
Group mates are not allowed to ask questions.
170
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
b) Ask some of the group representatives to turn their back from the group and
try to verbally tell the group mates the components and structures of the figure.
Group mates are allowed to ask questions and the representative is allowed to
respond to their questions but only verbally.
c) Ask some of the group representatives to face the group and try to
“communicate” to the group mates the components and structures of the figure
nonverbally. Group mates are not allowed to ask questions.
d) Ask some of the group representatives to face the group and try to
“communicate” to the group mates the components and structures of the figure
nonverbally. Group mates are allowed to ask questions. The representative is
allowed to respond to their questions but only nonverbally.
4. After the activity, discuss the following questions.
Discussion
1. Which way of communication is more effective, one-way or two-way
communication? Why?
2. How does two-way communication facilitate accuracy and effective
communication?
3. Do we usually use one-way or two-way communications in daily life? On what
occasions do we usually use one-way communication, and on what occasions do
we use two-way communication more often? Why?
4. Which way of communication is more effective, verbal or nonverbal
communication? Why?
5. How does verbal and nonverbal communication facilitate its accuracy and
effective communication?
6. Do we usually use verbal or nonverbal communications in daily life? On what
occasions do we often use verbal communication, and on what occasions do we
use non-verbal communication more often? Why?
7. Do verbal and nonverbal communication convey different types of messages?
(Hint: verbal communication may convey more factual information and nonverbal
communication more emotional messages and subtle/implicit signals about the
mental state of the communicator.)
171
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material A19
Type of Material: Activity
Main Theme
The uses of Paralanguage and Body language
Instructions
1. Divide into three groups.
2. Each group is assigned one of the scenarios listed below.
3. Each group should try to act out the characters as described, with appropriate
paralanguage and body language. Special attention should be paid to the following
paralanguage and body language:
a) Volume
b) Speed
c) Tone
d)
e)
f)
g)
h)
i)
j)
Firmness
Use of pauses and silences
Facial expressions
Gaze and eye contacts
Gestures
Postures
Physical distance
172
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
After each role-play, members of other groups speculate on the emotional states
of the interviewee and set out their reasons.
Interviewer: Please take one minute to introduce yourself.
Interviewee: My name is XXX, aged 20. I just graduated with an Associate Degree,
majoring in social sciences. The subject I am most interested in is
psychology because it helps me to understand myself and others.
Interviewer: Why are you interested in this position offered by our company?
Interviewee: I like to meet people and customer service offers me a lot of
opportunities to do so. I know that people are highly complicated
individuals and interacting with them is an art. I am confident I can
work closely with my colleagues to serve our customers with care and
enthusiasm.
Scenario 1
Job interviewer: polite
Job interviewee: shy, not confident, nervous
Scenario 2
Job interviewer: polite
Job interviewee: confident, competent, and interested in the job
Scenario 3
Job interviewer: polite
Job interviewee: too confident, too assertive and aggressive
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
Can you guess accurately the emotional states of the interviewee in the role-play?
What elements can help you determine the emotions of others?
Were you the interviewer, which interviewee would you employ? Why?
When does paralanguage or body language hinder effective communication?
When does it facilitate effective communication?
5. Can we train ourselves in “better” paralanguage and body language? If yes,
a) In what sense are they “better”?
b) How do we train ourselves?
173
Optional Learning Materials
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point a – Interpersonal communication
Material A20
Type of Material: Reading with discussions
Main theme
Empathic responses in communication
Article
黃惠惠。《助人歷程與技巧》，增訂版。台北：張老師出版社，1991，第五章。
Discussion
1. Why are empathic responses sometimes so important in communication,
especially when we are trying to understand the feelings and thoughts of others?
2. How are empathic responses different from other types of responses (e.g.,
sympathy)?
3. Are empathic responses always good? Why or why not?
4. Is giving empathic responses easy or difficult? Why?
5. How can we foster empathy in ourselves?
174
Key Point b
Managing conflicts
Suggested questions for enquiry
How do interpersonal conflicts arise?
What consequences will these conflicts bring?
How should these conflicts be handled?
How should the different ways of handling conflicts be assessed?
175
Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material A21
Type of Material: Reading
Main theme
Hierarchy of human needs
Article
Maslow suggests that human needs can be divided into five levels:
Physiological needs
Needs for immediate survival of the organism, such as food, drink, oxygen, exercise,
sleep, protection from extreme temperatures, etc.
Safety and security needs
Long-term survival and stability, including needs for structure, stability, law and order,
predictability, and freedom from threatening forces such as illness, fear, and chaos.
Belongingness and love needs
Affiliation and acceptance, such as affectionate relations with others, a place in the
family and/or in reference groups.
176
Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Self-esteem needs
Achievement and recognition; self-esteem includes desire for competence, confidence,
achievement, independence, and freedom; and respect from others, including desire
for prestige, recognition, reputation, status, appreciation, and acceptance.
Self-actualization
Full development of one’s potentials.
To say that the needs form a hierarchy means that dissatisfaction of lower level needs
usually hinders the recognition and satisfaction of needs at higher levels. However, it
is important to note that satisfaction of higher level needs with limited satisfaction of
lower level ones is by no means impossible. The farther up the hierarchy one goes, the
more individuality, humanness, and psychological health one achieves.
Reference:
Hjelle & Ziegler. Personality theories: basic assumptions, research & applications. New York:
McGraw-Hill, 1992.
177
Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material A22
Type of Material: Reading with discussions
Main theme
Conflict resolutions and values
Article
It was early in the Vietnam War, and an America platoon was hunkered
down in some rice paddies, in the heart of a firefight with the Vietcong*.
Suddenly a line of six monks started walking along the elevated berms that
separated paddy from paddy. Perfectly calm and poised, the monks walked
directly toward the line of fire.
“They didn’t look right, they didn’t look left. They walked straight
through,” recalls David Busch, one of the American soldiers. “It was really
strange, because nobody shot at them. And after they walked over the stream,
suddenly all the fight was out of me. It just didn’t feel like I wanted to do this
anymore, at least not that day. It must have been that way for everybody because
everybody quit. We just stopped fighting.”
Reference:
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam Books, 1995, p.114.
*Vietcong, or the Vietnamese Communists, was the military branch of the National Liberation
Front. It tried to overthrow the South Vietnamese government supported by the U.S.
government in order to facilitate the reunification of the country.
178
Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Exercise
1. Imagine you were the soldiers. What would you feel when you saw the monks
walking through? Would you stop fighting too? Why?
2. Now you do not imagine you were the soldiers. Try just to understand them. Why
do you think they stopped?
3. How would you describe the behaviour of the monks? Do you find them stupid?
Or do you find them brave? What other qualities do you want to attribute to the
monks? Why?
4. What are the values behind the behaviour of the monks? What would you say
about the power of values in motivating behaviours?
5. What is peace and what is peace of the mind? Is peace possible without peace of
the mind?
6. Imagine you are the soldier. Write a diary about what you have seen in the
battlefield and reflect on your own life by comparing yours with the monks’.
179
Core Module I
Issue 2 – How do I get along with others?
Key Point b – Managing conflicts
Material A23
Type of Material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Moral Reasoning — Rights
Article
We are living in an era with plenty of talks on rights. What is a right? One
widely accepted answer is that a right is a claim to the protection of interests of
people that are valid simply because they are human. For some reasons or other,
rights are most often understood in terms of freedom from interference and
coercion. You always hear people say things like “The school should not ban
students dying their hair because it is our right to choose the colour of our own
hair.” or “Having more than one girl friend is nothing wrong because one should
have the right to choose one’s partner before one gets married.” Whether you
agree with these statements or not, these kinds of claims are typical of today’s
moral discourse.
A principle closely related to the concept of right is the “harm principle,”
which is first put forward by John Stuart Mill, a great liberal thinker. The harm
principle states that one should be granted the right to do anything as far as one’s
behaviour brings no harm to anybody.
The sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or
collectively in interfering with the liberty of action of any of
their members, is self-protection.
— Mill. On Liberty.
Respect for the rights of others is often viewed as an absolute value in our
days. If this is correct, then we have to put the rights of each person in number
one position.
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Exercise
1. Do people have a right to the following? Why?
a) Going to school in casual-wear
b) Reading the diary of your son/daughter
c) Checking the record of website visits of your son/daughter
d) Quitting school
e) Euthanasia
f) Serving restaurant food made with milk from the breast
2. Decide who has priority in the following cases:
a) John is a F.4 student. He wants to go to school but his father wants John to
help him out in his shop full-time.
b) Charles wants to borrow a hundred dollars from his classmate Nancy, but
Nancy does not want to lend him the money.
c) Bob is another F. 4 student. He wants to date a girl, but his parents want him to
wait until he completes his secondary education.
d) Mary is twenty years old, and she wants to marry Tom, but her mother wants
her to marry a rich young man whom she does not love.
e) A country is at war. The editor of a newspaper wants to write an editorial
arguing that the government should surrender but the government does not
want opinions of this kind to be read by the public.
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Material A24
Type of Material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Moral Reasoning — Utility
Article
Another important concept used in conflict resolution and moral reasoning
is utility. Utility means anything that is good. The principle of utility states that
we, either as individual members of society or as society as a whole, should
always behave in such a manner that utility is maximized. In other words, all
individual and social behaviours are correct if and only if they produce the most
good and the least evil. As for the question of what constitutes good, the most
commonly held belief (though not a universal consensus) is that the only good is
happiness or pleasure.
Exercise
What will the result if we apply the principle of utility to the following cases? Do you
agree with these results? Why?
1. John, Mary and Tom are going to karaoke. They are choosing between two
karaoke bars, one in Mong Kok and one in Shatin. John and Mary live in Mong
Kok and Tom lives in Shatin.
2. Mr. and Mrs. Smith are planning how to spend their weekend. Mr. Smith wants to
go swimming, but Mrs. Smith hates it and prefers hiking instead. Though less
attractive than swimming, hiking is fun for Mr. Smith too.
3. John has a kidney problem and is going to die unless he receives a kidney
transplant. Jack is a healthy person with a kidney suitable for the transplant, but he
does not want to donate his kidney.
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Material A25
Types of Material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Moral Reasoning — Fairness
Article
An obvious shortcoming of the principle of utility is that it sometimes gives
rise to an unfair distribution of good. For example, a government wants to
confiscate a farmland from its owner in order to build a highway. The net utility
for the public may be very great, but since this will put the farmer in a very
disadvantageous position, it would still be unfair for the government to do so.
John Rawls, a great political philosopher of the 20th century, suggests that we
must be fair to all parties in our decisions in order to be just. Although his theory
deals mainly with social institutions, some core ideas of his theory can be applied
to personal moral choices, especially his “maximin” (maximizing the minimum)
principle: When we resolve a conflict we have to maximize the gain of the party
who is the least advantaged.
Reference:
Rawls, John. A Theory of Justice. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1973.
Exercise
The South America Coffee Case (Based on “Mugged: Poverty in Your Coffee Cup”
published by Oxfam):
In Britain, the price of a jar of instant coffee is HK$ 26.6. Only 1.4% of the selling
price, i.e., less than 30 cents, reaches the coffee farmers in Uganda and 94% of it goes
to the processing and sales companies.
1. With reference to Rawls’s theory, what can you say about the fairness of the coffee
trade?
2. What would be a fair share?
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Material A26
Type of Material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
The Brazil Drug Patent Case
Article
Oxfam Hong Kong. “FOCUS FEATURE: Drug patent war … a long road ahead” 27
September 2001
<http://www.oxfam.org.hk/english/news/focus/drug/>
Summary
1. In the early 1990s, Brazil was facing an enormous AIDS crisis. Fortunately, the
country was able to control the mortality rate of AIDS by the end of the 1990’s.
Indeed the mortality rate has dropped by as much as 50%.
2. One of the reasons is that the Brazil government provides free anti-retroviral
(ARV) drugs since 1996. The Brazilian government amended its Industrial
Property Law in 1996. This new law lays down that if a patent holder fails to
manufacture a patented product in Brazil within three years of patent registration,
the Brazilian government may authorize other companies to manufacture the
product. Parallel importing of patented products from the cheapest source is also
allowed.
3. As a result the Brazil government faced two charges:
a) The US government charged that Brazil’s local requirement discriminates
against imported products and brought the case to the World Trade
Organization (WTO) dispute settlement board.
b) Merck, a pharmaceutical company, has issued a legal warning that Brazil’s
local production of efavirenz, an ARV drug, infringes its patent rights on that
drug, though no legal action has been taken yet.
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Exercise
With reference to the concepts of rights, utility and fairness, what can you say about
the above case?
1. Which of the following alternatives do you think maximizes utility (happiness/
pleasure)? Why?
a) Let Brazil continue with the local production of ARV drugs.
b) Ban Brazil’s local production of these drugs on the ground of patent rights.
2. Is it Merck’s right to protect its intellectual property by taking legal action against
the Brazil government and the Brazil pharmaceutical company which
manufactures efavirenz? What is the point of protecting intellectual property rights?
What is the point of having rights in general?
3. Do you think Brazil’s local law really discriminates against imported products and
hence is unfair? What constitutes fairness?
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Material A27
Type of Material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
The human person: A Confucian view
Article
According to the Confucian view, nobody is just himself/herself. The self of
an individual person is closely connected to those of others in two ways. First,
since we have an inborn compassion, the happiness of others constitutes part of
my happiness, and similarly the sorrow of others. Second, only through the way
we are related to others can I understand who I am. Now please read the
following quotations from Mencius.
a) The reason why I say all men have a sense of compassion is that, even today, if
one chances to see a little child about to fall into a well, one will be shocked,
and moved to compass on, neither because he wants to earn praise from his
neighbors and friends, nor because he hates to hear the cry of the child. From
this we can see that whoever has no sense of compassion is no human;
whoever has no sense of shame is no human; whoever has no sense of modesty
is no human; and whoever has no sense of right and wrong is no human. The
sense of compassion is the beginning of benevolence; the sense of shame the
beginning of righteousness, the sense of modesty the beginning of decorum;
the sense of right and wrong the beginning of wisdom. Every man possesses
these four beginnings just as he possesses four limbs. When anyone possessing
these four say that he cannot do what is required of him, he is abasing himself.
If he says that his ruler cannot do what is required of him, he is abasing his
ruler. Let a man know how to develop fully all these beginnings he possesses,
and it may be compared to the starting of a fire or the gushing out of a spring.
If these are fully developed, he can protect the whole world; if not, he will not
be able to serve his parents.
— Mencius. 3.6.
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b) The words of Yang Zhu and Mozi are predominant in the world, and the views
of the people belong either to the school of Yang or to the school of Mohism.
Yang advocates the theory of ‘each one for himself’ and this is equivalent to a
denial of ruler. Mohism advocates that we should love everybody without
differentiation, and this is equivalent to the denial of one’s own father. One who
denies his own ruler and father is no different from a beast.
— Mencius. 6.9.
c) King Xuan of Qi asked, “Is it true that King Tang banished Jie (the last ruler of
Xia Dynasty) and King We sent an expedition against Zhou (the last ruler of the
Yin Dynasty)?”
“It is so recorded in history,” answered Mencius.
“Is regicide right?”
“He who outrages benevolence is an outrager; he who outrages righteousness is
a cruel person. He who is a man both cruel and outrageous is a despot forsaken
by all. I have heard that, Zhou, the despot forsaken by all, was killed, but not
that the killing was regicide.”
— Mencius. 2.8.
Exercise
1. In quotation a), Mencius argues that one who does not have compassion to others
is not human. Do you agree?
2. If we have compassions towards others, then the pain of others will become my
pain too. So is it better not to have compassion towards others? Can the life of an
utterly cold-blooded person be called a good life? Why?
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3. In quotation b), Mencius says that one who denies one’s ruler is not different from
a beast. In quotation c), however, he argues that it is right for King We to kill
emperor Zhou. Is there any contradiction? Why?1
4. Do you agree that if a person does not recognize his ties with his ruler and father
then he is just like a beast? Why? (Mencius is talking about a king. Of course we
do not have a king in most modern societies. Can you put something else in the
place of a king so that the idea that one should always acknowledge the ruler still
makes good sense in our society?)
5. Are there other relationships that failure to acknowledge would fail us as human
beings? What are they? Why? (For example, think about our relation with nature,
or our relation with God.)
1
A good way of understanding Mencius’s idea that one is no different from a beast if one does not
recognize his ruler and father is this: Who we are is partly constituted by how we are related to others. I
am not myself if not related to my father, and I am not myself if not related to society. If I were born in,
say, a village in Amazon, I would no longer be the person I am now. Therefore a person without parents,
family and society is nothing. Since the ruler is a symbol of society and its order in his days, Mencius
takes the ruler to represent the social order. In this way, we may understand Mencius as saying that one
is factually no different from a beast without the family, society and their orders, and is morally no
different from a beast if we do not pay respect to them.
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Material A28
Type of Material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Moral reasoning—Self-perfection
Article
When talking about the good life, we have to know what good is and what
evil is. But do we really know that? Very often we agree on the word, but not
necessarily on the content of the words. We all know that it is good to be happy,
but not everybody agrees what happiness really is. Some believe that happiness is
pleasure, but others believe that true happiness is possible only when you realize
your potentials (so pleasure from good food is no true happiness). Some believe
that one can never be truly happy without being moral.
This idea of realizing one’s potentials brings us to the idea of
self-perfection. Potential is by definition something we are born with, something
we may or may not fully realize in our life, and something good for us to realize.
In this sense, realizing one’s potentials and perfecting oneself is one and the same
thing.
Discussion
But before we ask what human potentials are, or what human perfection is, we have to
ask what human being is. We have first to answer the question of human nature.
Answer the following questions to establish your own views on human nature and
self-perfection:
1. Do you think a human being should be understood biologically as an animal,
though more intelligent? Is the pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain the only
thing that matters in your life?
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2. Do you think a human being should be understood socially, i.e., as somebody in
relation to other people? Are there any relationships that you find essential to your
well-being? Why are they important? Is someone else’s happiness your happiness
too? Who is this someone?
3. Do you think a human being should be understood religiously as a creature of God?
Who are you in relation to nature or the universe? What does your relationship
with God mean to you? Does it make your life more meaningful? Does it make
you feel comfortable with the ups and downs of life?
4. Is there any aim in your life?
5. Read the following cases:
a) John has nothing to do in the summer, and so he just spends all his time
playing electronic games. His mother suggests that he joins some
self-improvement class, but John does not want to. Should John do as his
mother tells him?
b) Tim’s mother has been taking care of him for years. Now she is sick in bed
and wants him to take care of her. Tim can do it without giving up his job but
he finds it too troublesome. He intends to leave his mother alone unattended.
Should Tim just do what he wants? Why?
c) Refer to (b): Is it alright if Tim does not leave his mother but puts her into an
elderly home instead?
6. With question 5(c), do you just count the happiness involved or do you also judge
the personality of people? Are all kinds of happiness equally good? Why?
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Material A29
Type of Material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Cultivation of a good personality
Article
To cultivate a good personality is simply to become a good person – a
person who is good to oneself and to others. How can we become good persons?
Here, the wisdom of the ancients can help us. Jesus says, “You shall love
your neighbor.” More specifically, he enjoined us to “treat people the same way
you want them to treat you.” In a similar vein, Confucius tells us never to treat
others in ways you do not want others to treat you. Confucius calls this attitude of
active sympathy shu.
Literally, shu means extending one’s own self so that it embraces the selves
of others. It means something like “stepping into the shoes of another person”.
However, what exactly does that mean? Does it mean that, say, if you like cheese,
you should give your friend cheese as a treat? But your friend might hate cheese!
So shu is not judging what is good for another person in terms of my own needs
and desires, rather, imagining being the other person in his/her present situation.
It is to treat the feelings and well-being of others as if they were mine and wish
the best for others as we wish the best for ourselves.
Note the phrase “the best for others” here. Although we take the positions
of others, we do not give up our values. This is the same as how we treat
ourselves. Obviously we are not to indulge everyone of our desires because it
may not be good for us. For example, I am playing a new computer game,
become addicted to it and forget all about my study. I know I am doing
something bad to myself. In the same way, when we consider doing good to
another person, we hold on to what we consider to be good independent of what
that person desires.
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As Mencius says, the ability to take the position of others and being moved
by their needs is what makes us human. (Those who have no compassion are
nonhuman.) It has been shown by scientists that, except for autistic children, all
of us have this ability to detach from ourselves and see things from someone
else’s point of view even when we are very young1. But, like other natural
abilities, this ability has to be cultivated and developed. And the only way to
cultivate it is to practise it. This is the profound meaning of Jesus’ and Confucius’
wise words. So whenever you deal with another person, always think what would
be good for him/her, given his/her situation, background, needs and desires. In
this way, you become more loving of yourself and of others.
Exercise
Watch the film E.T. – the Extraterrestrial at home and then answer the following
questions.
1. Identify yourself with E.T.:
a) How old are you in equivalent to an Earth child?
b) How would you feel when you suddenly find yourself on a strange planet
inhabited by strange bipeds?
c) What would you want most?
d) In what way would you like to be treated by the bipeds of this strange planet
(Earth)?
2. Identify yourself with one of the parents of little Elliot:
a) Do you love Elliot?
b) How would you feel when one day you find Elliot making friends with a
strange alien? Particularly, what would be your worries?
c) What would you want to happen to ET?
d) Do you think what you want is correct given your son’s (Elliot’s) and ET’s
desires?
1
See Robin Dunbar. The Trouble with Science. London: Faber & Faber, 1995, pp. 128-133.
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3. Identify yourself with one of the government agents or scientists:
a) Why do you want to catch ET and study it? Is it simply because you are one of
the “bad guys”? Or are there any legitimate reasons?
b) Suppose you do have legitimate reasons to restrain and study ET, do these
reasons justify how you treat ET? Why or why not?
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Key Point c
Developing relationships
Suggested questions for enquiry
What expectations do family members, peers and other members of
society hold towards one another?
Are these expectations reasonable?
When these expectations are not met, what tensions do they bring to the
relationships?
When an intimate relationship is being built, do mutual expectations
necessarily grow?
Does intimacy imply mutual commitment?
How should one prepare to go into intimate relationship?
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Material A30
Type of material: Reading with exercise
Main Theme
Understanding interpersonal relationships
Article
黃惠惠。
《自我與人際溝通》
。台北：張教師文化事業股份有限公司，1996，第一
章：<人際關係與生活>。
Discussion
1. How important is interpersonal relationship in our life?
2. How many types of interpersonal relationships are there? (family, acquaintances,
ordinary and close friends, lovers, etc.)
3.
4.
5.
6.
In what ways are they different?
Do you have close friends?
What makes for a close friendship?
Do you think friends of the same gender are better? Why or why not?
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Material A31
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
What is family? How do you enrich and improve your family life?
Reading
Kass Dotterweich. Be Good to Your Family Therapy. Indiana: Abbey Press, 1997. (a
pictorial book)
Discussion
1. What is family? What constitutes family?
2. How do we enrich and improve our family life?
3. What difficulties and pressures do families face nowadays?
Reflection
1. Are you satisfied with your family life?
2. With what are you satisfied most and least? Why?
3. Identify the obstacles in your family relationship. Can these obstacles be
overcome? How?
4. If there are barriers among the siblings (e.g. they have no respect for you) or with
parents (e.g., they have too little time for you), have you tried to talk to them and
share your feelings?
5. Share your true feelings with your parents and siblings. Share also what you have
learnt in this lesson about the family.
6. Think of some specific and feasible ways of dealing with problems at home (e.g.
arrange a regular time every week or two to have a family dinner or meeting with
the TV shut).
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Material A32
Type of material: Web articles
Main Theme
Friends and Peers
Articles
“Friendship”. Gale Encyclopedia of Psychology, 2nd ed. Gale Group, 2001
<http://www.findarticles.com/cf_dls/g2699/0004/2699000473/p1/article.jhtml>
Shucksmith, Janet, Leo Hendry, John Love and Tony Glendinning. “The Importance
of Friendship”. Research in Education, No. 52, Spring 1993
<http://www.scre.ac.uk/rie/nl52/nl52shucksmith.html>
Discussion
1. Why are friends important? How is a friend different from a family member?
2. What are the effects of peers? If peers have an enormous influence on you, how
should you choose your peers?
3. What kind of a person would you like to be? What kind of peers do you need in
order to be the person you want to be?
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Material A33
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Love and respect
Article
唐君毅。《人生之體驗》。台北：學生書，1982：
<說愛>，頁 86。
<說愛與敬>，頁 88-89。
<說愛之擴大>，頁 91-92。
Discussion
1. According to the article, what is love?
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
What are the differences between different types of love?
What is the relationship between love and respect? Why is it so?
Can you share an experience of feeling loved and respected?
Is the standard mentioned in the article difficult to achieve?
What is the meaning of “expanding” our love?
How do we expand love?
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Material A34
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Love and marriage
Article
唐君毅。《人生之體驗》。台北：學生書，1982：
<說男女之愛>，頁 101-103。
<說婚姻>，頁 103-104。
<說男女之愛之超越>，頁 104-105。
<愛情之意義與中年之空虛>，頁 184-189。
Discussion
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
According to the article, love often comes after adolescence. Why?
Why do we seek love outside the family?
Why do we seek love from the opposite sex?
What do we expect from love, according to the article?
What’s the meaning of marriage?
What does a good marriage bring?
According to the article, what is the meaning of love?
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Material A35
Type of material: Reading with discussion
Main Theme
Intimacy and expectations
Article
Chinese tradition puts much emphasis on the “five human relationships”.
According to Mencius, they are: “love between father and son, rightful duty
between ruler and subject, distinction between husband and wife, proper order
between the old and the young, and good faith between friends” (Mencius 5.4). It
may seem old-fashioned talking about these five relationships. But a modern
interpretation would reveal much that is valuable for today. Different
relationships in different degrees of intimacy bring different expectations. We
expect our parents to love us, and, except in very abnormal cases, they do. They
raise us, educate us and help us whenever the need arises. Thus, it is reasonable
to expect us to love them in return. With regard to elder siblings and other
relatives, we expect them to be kind to us. In return, we are to respect them. With
true friends, we expect that we can trust them and that they will never betray us.
In return, the same would be expected of us. As for husbands and wives, they are
expected to love each other in very intimate ways. But too much intimacy might
breed contempt, especially when sexual desire is involved. Distinction is
psychological distance that makes respect possible. As for ruler and subject, we
could understand it in terms of the leader and the led. In every social institution,
there are always such relationships. We should note here Mencius mentions no
expectations for emotional responses. What is expected is only that each of us
fulfills our rightful duty. The leader is to lead wisely and the led should follow
when it is right to do so. This explains why Mencius draws a three-fold
distinction in Mencius 13.14 – things are to be treasured, people we should be
kind to, and only to parents and relatives are we to show intimate love.
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Exercise
1. How do we understand the ruler-subject relationship in modern terms?
2. How similar and different are the five relationships?
3. Comment on the ideas that
a) there should be a distinction in roles between the husband and the wife, and;
b) there should be order between the old and the young.
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Key Point c – Developing relationships
Material A36
Type of material: Reading with Discussion
Main Theme
Components of love
Reading
According to Sternberg, there are three components in a love relationship –
intimacy, passion, and commitment. And, there are 8 different types of love according
to the extent the three components are present in the relationship.
Types of love according to Sternberg
1.
Nonlove
A relationship in which all three components of love are
absent. Most of our personal relationships are of this type –
casual interactions or acquaintances that do not involve any
elements of love.
2.
Liking
A loving experience with another person or a friendship in
which intimacy is present but passion and commitment are
lacking.
3.
Infatuation
A kind of “love at first sight” in which one experiences
passionate desires for another person but the intimacy and
commitment components of love are absent.
4.
Empty love
A kind of love characterized by a commitment to maintain
the relationship and by the absence of passion or intimacy.
A stagnant relationship that no longer involves emotional
intimacy or physical attraction.
5.
Romantic love
A loving experience characterized by a combination of
passion and intimacy but without commitment.
6.
Companionate
love
A kind of love deriving from a combination of the intimacy
and commitment components of love. This kind of love
often occurs in marriages in which passionate attraction
between the partners has died and replaced by a kind of
committed friendship.
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Types of love according to Sternberg
7.
Fatuous love
A type of love associated with whirlwind romances and
“quickie marriages” in which the passion and commitment
components of love are present but intimacy is not.
8.
Consummate
love
A full or complete measure of love involving a combination
of passion, intimacy and commitment. Many strive to attain
this complete love in our romantic relationships.
Maintaining it is often harder than achieving it.
Discussion
1. (Refer to the above table.) If you are currently dating someone, to which type does
your relationship belong? Do you find the relationship satisfying? Why or why not?
(If you do not want to discuss this question openly, keep it for self-reflection.)
2. What is love? What do you think is the ideal form of love?
3. Do you agree that commitment is an essential component of love? Why or why
not?
4. Sternberg claims that ideal love consists of fully developed passion, intimacy and
commitment. Does this match your own ideal? Why or why not?
5. How do we prepare ourselves for a long-lasting and satisfying loving relationship?
203