Spring FLEX Workshop
January 31, 2013
Dr. Dianne G. Van Hook

1.
Understanding the importance that building relationships has in the ability to lead the change you want to see
2.
Creating an awareness of the skills and action necessary to develop a strong network
3.
Discussing strategies that can help you become part of others’ networks; supporting your contracts in their efforts
4.
Helping you to overcome the fear of the unknown while really putting yourself out there
5.
Discussing the power of social networking to grow your sphere of influence
6.
Unleashing your networking power through successful follow up
(without appearing pushy…)
7.
Creating your own Action Plan
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1/31/13 Spring FLEX - Relationships Matter!
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What does “relationship” mean?
What do relationships do?
Where does credibility come in?
How about influence?
What do relationships inspire?
4

We each get to start anew daily to build relationships that matter.

A relationship is defined by:
How you treat one another
How you create and keep memories of others in your heart, mind and esteem
How you allow for differences in outlooks, beliefs, values and how it is reciprocated
Your level of continuous engagement with another individual, group or committee or community groups
Ongoing engagement turns into a partnership
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The goal in a relationship is to feel calm, centered and focused.
Healthy boundaries allow a person to experience comfortable interdependence with others, which produces
Well-functioning relationships and positive self regard

You create this atmosphere by
Having clear preferences and stating them
Being honest about when you are happy/unhappy
Accepting moods and circumstances while you are under control
Doing more that gets results
Living optimistically while cultivating change
Living to thrive
Having personal standards
Asking for accountability
Only doing favors you choose to (and only for those you respect)
Being aware of choices
Living a life you choose

Build capacity
Fulfill needs
Help make things happen
Give you confidence
Create options
Inspire actions
Inform
Give you confidence
Create options
Give you joy
Enhance your life
Create memories
Working on Measures C and M forged lifetime relationships.
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You must lead by example:
Actions, once demonstrated, cannot be taken back; you can’t say one thing and do another (you can’t behave one way in one circumstance and another
way in another)
Don’t gossip, it breeds mistrust (When will he/she be gossiping about me?)
Gossip creates suspicion about what you are up to!
Follow through. It matters! You must be who you say you are.
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Where does that come in? What does it take to influence?
 Time
 Credibility
 Leadership
 Passion
 An ability and desire to inspire
 True compassion for others
 Confidence in others to get it done—ability to delegate
 A desire to coach others
 An optimistic attitude
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Connections with others
Partnerships
Possibilities
Belief in self, others and the team
Self confidence
An ability to
“see” potential
The future
Each other
“Developing your
Network” activity
Those who watch you and are proud
Risk taking
Your mindset
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We are made to persist!
That’s how we find out who we are.
~Tobias Wolf
The COC Women’s Soccer team just won the State Championship and went to the playoffs!

1/31/13 Spring FLEX - Relationships Matter!
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Communication skills
Creating unconditional positive regard
Using a non-judgmental approach
Being persuasive
An ability to anticipate
An ability to “see” what is not yet visible to the eye or others senses
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Being accurate v. embellishing
Being complete v. selective
Maintaining context v. hyperbole
Being considerate of time, place and manner
Being inclusiveness v. exclusive
Listening v. telling
Showing empathy v. judging
Asking for what you want (assertive skills)
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Being accurate v. embellishing
This communication is
Honest and accurate
Include all relevant information
True in every sense, is not deceptive
Is accurate and sincere – avoid language that manipulates, discriminates or exaggerates
Does not hide accurate information
Does not state opinions as facts
Portrays data fairly
Does not lie or deceive
Is not ambiguous – does not use words to influence others behavior
Maintains candor
Avoids deception and exaggeration
Behaves consistently
In the relationship building, accuracy is better than a tall tale.

Being complete v. select
Is timely in communication
Includes all the facts, not just some
Includes the context and relevant information
Tells the whole story, not just the parts that make their case Being complete is just as important in relationship building as it is on tests.
Can you think of a time when you communicated in an incomplete way? Why did you do so?

Maintaining context v. hyperbole
Summarizing the situation accurately so the message is not distorted
Not selectively leaving out key parts
Not exaggerating
Don’t make things bigger than they were just for effect
Can you think of a time when you did this?

Consideration of Time, Place and Manner
Timing IS everything in communication.
People are more receptive at some times compared to other times.
We tend to forget this.
But we get upset when we don't get the reactions we want.
Consider the other person -- state of mind, emotions, time schedule to assess whether it's a good time to talk about a particular subject. Do this beforehand.
If you get an unexpected negative reaction during the conversation, think about whether the other person is simply not ready to hear what you’re saying.
Delay the conversation to another time.
Timing is particularly important with emotional or tough conversations.
Not sure whether it’s a good time to talk with someone?
Ask!
"I'd like to talk to you about [topic]. Is it a good time now?"

Being inclusiveness v. exclusive
Our similarities far outweigh our differences, so there is a distinct advantage in making the diverse mix work. Inclusiveness is about equity and opportunity, about celebrating differences so that talented people are recognized.
Inclusiveness:
Adjusts preconceived structures and notions and options
Involves and cooperates
Invites others in vs. lets them pass by
Creates opportunities for personal transformation
Pays attention to the members
Takes advantage of and uses talents
Connects with and serves diverse groups
Motivates a wide range of people
Helps encourage all to support your cause
Understands changing markets

Listening v. telling
Really listening is the ability to accurately receive messages in the communication process
Listening is not the same as hearing
Listening is paying attention to the message and how it is told – the use of language and voice
It is being aware of both verbal and nonverbal messages
In order to be a good listener, you need to:
Stop talking
Prepare yourself to listen
Put the speaker at ease
Good listeners can expect to have fewer mistakes, move creative and productive teamwork, more and better friends, and improved self-esteem and confidence
“You can learn a lot more from listening than you can from talking. Find someone with whom you don’t agree in the slightest and ask them to explain themselves at length.
Then take a seat, shut your mouth, and don’t argue back. It’s physically impossible to listen with your mouth open.”
- John Moe,
“Conservatize Me”

Showing empathy v. judging
Empathy is the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes to see the world as another person and imagine how they feel, what they need, what they are concerned about and what their emotional state is
Being empathetic requires good listening skills and/or strong imagination
Empathy is a selfless act – it enables us to learn more about people and relationships with people
Empathy is not sympathy – it is to see it or circumstances as someone else does

Asking for what you want – using your assertive skills
Salespeople call it “the close”
You will rarely get what you want if you do not ask for it
Before meeting with a new contact, think of what you want…
Help with a project
Input on a new teaching plan
An opinion on your next big idea
Editing of your manuscript
Then ASK FOR IT!

Assertive Skills – your rights and mine
I have the right to assert myself as a worthy individual
I have right to express myself
I have right to be listened to
I have the right to change my mind
I have the right to express my feelings without always justifying them
I have the right to not always need the goodness of others to survive
I have the right to say, “I don’t know.”
I have the right to say, “I don’t understand.”
I have the right to decide whether I want to be responsible for the problems of someone else
I have the right to make mistakes and to accept responsibility for my actions
I have the right, as an assertive person, to decide when and if I want to react assertively.

VIDEO: 1+-Minute Emotional Intelligence EQ Webinar How to be Assertive (1:31) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OzHdGdQMJk

Unconditional – non evaluative; no conditions on acceptance
Positive-warm acceptance; appraising of a person, caring
Regard-caring but not possessing, an ability just to satisfy one another’s needs
Practicing it means:
You are open and receptive no matter what
You do not judge
You do not hold grudges
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Where are the opportunities? Every where, every day!
What do they look like?
Neutrality
Feedback
Being interested
It means you
Listen without defending, speak without offending (give feedback)
Observe, watch, give praise fully
As a result, will:
Former Board Trustee Scott Wilk parlayed these tactics into a successful bid for a State Assembly seat last November.
Reduce differences between you and others
Remove perceived barriers and enhance approachability
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Establish your credibility
Use a clear, tactful tone
Make your presence clear
Do your homework
Gather and present evidence to support your points/position
Tailor your argument to the listener
Appeal to the subject’s emotion to reach inside the loves, hates, fears and frustrations
Make deals that matter
"Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible."
- Tony Robbins
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In an organization, relationships are everyone’s responsibility—but ultimately, each person is responsible for their own credibility
You must lead the change for yourself
Each of us must ask ourselves:
What are we trying to become?
Whose help do we need to get there?
What do I stand for?
What is my credo?
What words would be used to describe me?

One of the most common ways we sabotage our own relationships is by building up selflimiting views of our lives; how we communicate
How many times have you said: I can’t do that; they won’t want to talk to me: I just “can’t” approach that person
When we don’t push beyond our limiting ideas of ourselves, we never grow into the exceptional, extraordinary human beings we have the potential to be-we never develop relationships
Society and our college is a subset of that a collection of individuals. We need to go beyond our self-limiting ideas and focus on doing our part to reach out to others and trust the extraordinary potential will emerge.
Abandon your self-limiting views and get to the top!

Don’t insult – don’t push people away
Know your audience – pay attention to differences
Choose your words carefully – you will be known for what you say and do!
Be aware of generational differences
There are four generations working side by side
With different values, experiences, styles and attitudes that can create misunderstandings and frustrations
We work in a multi-generational space, be aware of differences.

Get out there! Represent the college in the community and at college events
Become a “face” at the college
Bring the community in
Join groups on and off campus
Be generous in your advice and time to others. What goes around comes around!
Be a mentor
Bring your people together

Slow down and think
Look at concentric circle implications
Understand it’s a small world (who knows whom?)
Get to know the organization or group (it isn’t always what it seems)
Think long term-time flies by!

Where there is a will, there’s a way
Barriers must be overcome or change can’t be facilitated and progress won’t be made
Listen and find common points
Look for new—not old traditional ways!
Start out possibility-oriented, not
“it’s-never-worked-before” oriented
Persuasive tactics are not “one-sizeall.” It is imperative that you do your homework and hit the hot buttons that are important to the individual or department issue.

Pride
Hope
Sadness
Happiness
Relief
Fear
Humor
Your experiences to relate
Or hearing what they say about themselves!

See the big picture
Ask “what in it” for each player
Express genuine concern for the greater good
Work to make it better
Know that some gratification will be deferred
See the future and work backwards
Use multi-generational teams-we all value different things!

How do you do it?
Focus!
Listen…really listen
Respect diverse opinions
Shut off distractions…
Step away from the computer! interacting. You will build a connection and create an
Look UP from your iPhone!
atmosphere of respect.
Compare you to you; don’t look at others
Give yourself permission to success
Appreciate the present and live there … we cannot change the past.
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Remove distractions (noise, doodling, texting, staring out the window)
Empathize
Be patient
Avoid personal prejudices
Listen to the tone
Listen for ideas and intell, not just the words
Wait and watch for non-verbal communication

It's a simple point, but one that is easily lost in our post-modern, hyper-modern, super-modern age: pay attention
Do this — in everything you do, with everyone you encounter — and you will reap the benefits
Think you're a great multitasker? You're not. No one is:
Multitaskers make up to 50% more errors.
3
Even though we think we're multitasking, our brains are actually switching rapidly between tasks. 2
Multitasking causes a 10% drop in IQ.
1
Multitasking leads to as much as a 40% drop in productivity.
1
Studies show that the human brain can't handle more than one task at a time.
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Clarify what was discussed
Summarize next steps
Be grateful
Thank others
Stay in touch
Check in on progress others are making
Care is the glue that holds the relationship together
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Blame
You are right, everyone else is wrong
Defensiveness
Is a victim
Is a fix it all
Scapegoating
Narcissistic (all about you)
Fear
Diversion bringing up the past v. living in the present
Throwing fits

Why do it?
How do you get started?
Various methods of networking
What can you expect from your efforts?
Networking Made Easy
What NOT to Do
Tips

Service learning
Foundation sponsors
Foundation donors
Advisory committees
Internships hosts
Business training partners
Field trip locations
Project-based learning
On campus networking opportunities abound!
Grant partners
External Granting organizations
Professional organization networks
SCV Community-based organizations
Volunteers in our community (on and off campus)

Helps others understand what we do and what is in it for them
Builds bridges and connections
To resources
To expertise
To opportunities for our students
Helps us leverage what we have with what others have (and perhaps don’t know they have) and enable us to create something greater than either (any) of us could have done alone

Helps us think beyond our own boundaries and structures to other possibilities that create opportunities
Creates an awareness of what we’re doing
(Keller, Attitude is Everything: “Once you state your intention, providence follows”)
Enhances possibilities that what you want to occur will occur
Opens doors to more opportunities

Know where you want to end up (what the results/outcomes should/could be)_
Identify internal & external stakeholders
(partners in your effort)
Figure out who knows who and who can open doors
Articulate (succinctly) your vision and desired goal
Ask for what you want
Let people know—your possibilities will grow

There are many ways in which a person can network:
Develop informal contacts with men and women inside the college
Develop informal contacts with men and women outside the college
Telephone others regularly
Refer others for help and information
Join professional organizations (and do something in them!)
Shadow someone/some place in the community
Use our associates at the college who have connections in the community

Professional advancement
Opportunities to further develop skills
A professional network
A “safe” environment in which to try out new behaviors
A greater understanding of the profession
A reciprocity of skills
A Support system
Deepened self-confidence
Visibility on campus and in the community
Results

One of the most important skills you can develop to enhance your career is networking, that is, taking the time to connect with others who share our professional interest. Here are field-tested ways to connect with others
Call individuals doing work you admire. Most people are willing to speak to another person who shows interest in their work, job or opinions. Ask for an informational interview so you can learn even more about what they do.
Develop your contact list. At the end of each day, think about who you met at work, lunch or after work. List them in your database with information about what hey do, their interests and so on. Plan follow up breakfast, lunch or other type of meet up to get to know them better.
Join professional associations. It’s easy to compile an excellent source of contacts in your community by joining professional associations that interest you. Such groups typically host monthly meetings and annual conferences that allow you to develop an even broader array of contacts.
Write articles for industry and trade journals. Not only does it feel good to see your work in print, but you’ll dramatically raise your profile – both inside and outside your organization.
Don’t be afraid to use your professional network to seek referrals and additional contacts. In fact, calling on others will strengthen relationships and increase the likelihood they will call on your for help as well.

Assume
Who is interested
Who knows what
Who is already a supporter
Give up
Judge yourself too harshly
Fail to do your homework
History
Structure
Rules and regulations
Relationships
Fail to use manners !

It gets results:
University Center
Customized training for businesses
Noncredit program
Clinical Education Center
Canyon Country Campus
Del Valle Fire Training Facility
Nursing Collaborative
Create Grant
Reinstatement of Football at COC
The Habitat Lounge
Supplies for the Community Garden
Model UN project
Upward Bound project
Career Coaching project
K-6 science initiative
Rock the Rhythm, Beat the Odds!
The University Center is a stunning example of networking and relationships!

Improve the quality, not just the quantity of your communication. More communication does not always mean
better.
Communicate sooner rather than later.
Find out the way each person prefers to communicate—email, phone, in person
Don’t be a slave to your desk. Meet and network with others on their own turf
Keep up with technology. There are more ways to communicate than ever before.
Do yourself a favor: Keep up with technology!

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Offering selfless involvement
(being genuine)
Identifying common values
Appealing to a greater good
(common outcomes)
Focusing on what you can do together
Following up and keep in touch
(Not) burning your bridges
Common values build lines of communication and, ultimate, respect.
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Think about what others need form you and how you can advance their cause.
Work to make others “stars” versus advancing your cause as a star in your own mind.
Do it for the right reason-you want to sit back and make things better
“Pay attention” to others
Give your best – don’t just occupy space
Be passionate about your involvement
Rock the Rhythm, Beat the Odds would have never happened the way it did without the selfless involvement of countless faculty, staff, students and community members.
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Knowing what is important to you.
Knowing the characteristics you are attracted to in others
Clarifying what you admire in others
Being positive
Focusing on the present – how you act in the present – not just the future
Appreciating the past but not living there or letting it limit you
Networking and relationships are just as important off campus as they are on. A great relationship with Westfield netted our Sustainability Committee premium retail space for “The Habitat Lounge”!
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It doesn’t need to benefit you
It benefits others
Make it better than it was before
Achieve excellent or unforeseen results
Work to create a better or richer context
Help others advance and believe in themselves
Create possibilities
Seek out what things are being overlooked
Help things get better
The generous act of giving; benevolence is the most noble of human emotions. – anonymous
Group activities
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Blame
You are right, everyone else is wrong
Defensiveness
Is a victim
Is a fix-it-all
Scapegoating
Narcissistic (all about you)
Fear
Diversion bringing up the past v. living in the present
Throwing fits

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Utilize the psychology of success
Pay attention to your visibility
Understand your
“charisma quotient”?
Believe in yourself
Be a risk taker
Be courageous
Be familiar with unfamiliar territory
Not only does Barry Gribbons quite possibly have the longest title on campus, but he is very active in the SCV Rotary Club and often invites his club members to College events.
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This tactic is marked by a Growth Mindset whereby
Successful networkers/relationship builders are go-getters who tend to believe their capabilities are NOT fixed – they believe they can “get smart” and “get better.”
A Growth Mindset is predicated on your ability to stop doing certain things to yourself, i.e., stopping negative self talk, expecting to fail v. expecting success at every turn.
When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Rollins said – Nobody can go back and start a new beginning. (It is what it is) but ANYONE can start today and make a new ending!
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• Based on the belief that your basic qualities can be cultivated through efforts
• Although people may differ in every which way—initial talent and aptitude, interest, temperament—EVERYONE can GROW through application and experience
• People with a growth mindset believe that a person’s true potential is unknown
(unknowable), and that it is impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil and training

A growth mindset:
• Believes desirable qualities can be developed and will create a passion for learning in each person
• Questions why would you waste time proving over and over how great you are—when you could be getting better?
• Asks why hide deficiencies instead of trying to overcome them?
• Asks why you look for friends who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of challenging you to grow?
Our Nursing program has garnered statewide recognition. At right, a pinning ceremony.
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•Challenges you to not seek out the tried-and-true, but instead relish experiencing what will stretch you
•Asks you to develop the passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it is not going well, as that is the hallmark of the growth mindset
THIS is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives
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•The Fixed Mindset
• Creates an urgency to prove oneself over and over—in the classroom, in your career, in your relationships
•In a Fixed Mindset, Every
Situation is Evaluated
• Will I succeed or fail?
• Will I look smart or dumb?
• Will I be accepted or rejected?
• Will I be a winner or a loser?
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Are you in the right meetings and groups?
Are you attending conferences and workshops where the circle you want to be in are attending?
If you are in a group, are you actively involved as a board member or event coordinator and such? Or are you just showing up for meetings?
Are you charismatic?
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Charismatic people are :
Confident without being boastful or egotistical
Have the ability to appear, optimistic.
They see the best in circumstances, encourage others, enthuse others and help them be more optimistic
Good a making others confident and making themselves believable (and they don’t bring their personal drama to the scene)
Interesting and interested! They want to listen and having something to say and they are good storytellers, can be serious or humorous, use open language, non verbal, watch and clarify
Are you a Susie Sunshine or a Debby
Downer? Charismatic people are confident and optimistic (or can fake it really well!)

What is charisma?
The ability to captivate and inspire an audience is innate.
Research in the laboratory and in the field has identified 12 tactics that help managers become more influential, trustworthy, and "leaderlike" in the eyes of others.
Though there are other tactics that leaders can use-repetition, humor, talking about sacrifice--the 12 singled out by the authors have the greatest effect and can work in almost any context. And the research shows that they also have a larger impact than strong presentation skills and speech structure.
Great orators and politicians employ these techniques instinctively, but anyone can learn how to use them.

12 of the tactics are verbal:
1.
Metaphors
2.
Similes
3.
Analogies
4.
Stories
5.
Anecdotes
6.
Contrasts
7.
Rhetorical questions
8.
Expressions of moral conviction
9.
Reflections of the group's sentiments
10. Three-part lists
11. The setting of high goals
12. Conveying confidence that they can be achieved.

Video: How to Be Charismatic and Attract Success (5:37) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwsBrD5PtMI&feature=player_detailpage

Three are nonverbal:
1. Animated voice
2. Facial expressions
3. Gestures

There are a few things that matter more than talent!
Persistence (oversees obstacles and set backs)
Creativity (you bring only in that didn’t exist before)
Showing up (stopped by negative thinking then they want to succeed)
Belief in ourselves and each other helped get our beautiful new TLC open, one of the last in a series of great building accomplishments.

Venturing outside your social circle is equally important as networking within your immediate sphere of influence.
Diversifying your personal and professional contacts will spark an inundation of new knowledge and fresh perspectives that can stimulate innovative ideas.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. We all know this famous
Confucius quote, but have you asked yourself,
“what is my first step?”

1. Fear only goes away with experience
2. Some of the best things until done are scary
3. It’s never as dangerous as it appears
4. You either control fear or it controls you
5. Fear is an emotion, not a cognitive response
6. There are difference kinds of fear:
(battle on case by case basis)
7. Even courageous people are afraid
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
~C.S. Lewis

Risk taking replenishes the engagement in behaviors that have the potential to be harmful and dangerous while simultaneously providing some kind of outcome that can be perceived as positive
Perception of risk has to do with
Skill level
Experience
Perspective
Self confidence
Self image
Goals and self direction
Skills for success in risk taking can be learned!

Start small
(trips/food/involvement)
Take on bigger tasks (bigger trip, lead role in the community)
Keep at it-be resilient and diligent
Overcome your fears and unleash its hold on your
Fear need to be understood
Fear takes its form in excuses
(have an idea but stop short)
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Risk-Even if it doesn’t work you will easily recover and get back to normal
Gambling: Would you take your actions back or let the vice ruin you?

VIDEO: The Secret to Overcoming Fear (5:44) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpRIb42LfMI

Your time is finite/fixed number of day this planet: 28,616 according to recent life expectancy projections in the US
Imagine that you are 80 years old and never did what you wanted to do. What would you do?
( www.my50.com
) Make your own list!
Carpe Diem! Don’t listen to the voices inside that say “you can’t” – or the excuses
You will be faced with an opportunity to do or start something every day!
If you put off doing it until later you may never have that chance
Don’t experience the fear of regret-use it to get yourself moving
That’s why it’s important to make goals: it helps you take action in your own hands.
"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."
- Albert Einstein

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What is social networking?
Who does it?
Why do it?
What do you need to be aware of?
What can you do to change how you relate to others?
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Formally defined, social networking is “the use of a dedicated web site to communicate informally with other members of the site by posting messages, photographs, etc.”
Informally we all know social networking as
Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, MySpace,
Google+, Deviant Art, Tagged, Reddit, MeetUp and hundreds of like sites where users expand the number of their business and/or social contacts by making connections through other individuals.
At its most basic definition, we all know what it is
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Anyone looking to extend their reach for social or business reasons; those looking to find like or complementary businesses for cross promotions and/or people for meaningful partnerships
Corporate professionals
Entrepreneurs
Your next door neighbor
Your babysitter
Your kids
Your parents
Students
YOU!
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Social networking
Has changed the way people relate to each other, do business and exchange ideas
Is much more about quality and diversity than quantity.
Great networkers invest well in relationships, giving before they expect to receive things
Provides an entree to networks, people and information not normally accessible through traditional channels
Provides value in its ability to help you organize your contacts and create swift lines of contact
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Stop looking at it as a threat and discover its real opportunities
We should begin to take social media seriously; it’s the way the mainstream is communicating a little more each day.
Social networking is here to stay but it’s best to employ some basic rules of thumb to make sure you are controlling your own “personal brand”
It sounds elementary, but never post anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of a newspaper: employers now regularly search Facebook for applicant and candidate pages!
Make sure your friends and family are clear on what is and isn’t ok to post on your site. If your rules aren’t followed, unfriend them…the equivalent of banishment
Whether you intend it or not, your comments may be associated with the College, are you sure that’s what you want your friends, family and followers to think about your employer? How about what your supervisor thinks about you?
It can be a vortex of productive time. When turning to social media with networking in mind, have a clear idea of what you want to convey before you log on.
Discovering real opportunities is a hallmark of networking .
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Embrace the change!
If you do not have a LinkedIn page, think about making one (and immediately Connect to the COC Alumni
Network)!
If you allow it, LinkedIn will use your Outlook or other personal electronic address book to seek out people you know who are already on LinkedIn
Reach out to these contacts; seek out peers and colleagues with whom you may trade ideas, build synergies, discuss curriculum, and more!
Do Not Be Afraid!
Social media allows you to network around the world
for free!
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Development of personal networks are
How most jobs are found
Opens up new opportunities
A valuable source for new thoughts and opinions
A “safe” environment in which to try out new behaviors
A greater understanding of the profession
A support system
Deepened self-confidence
Visibility on campus and in the community

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In person
By phone
Handwritten notes and letters
Email
Via text
Following up is up to you! Stick to it to be successful!
96

Provides you the valuable input of body language—you can’t see that on the phone or through an email
Demonstrates your esteem for the person via eye contact
Lets you see the context and situation
Puts meaning to the words
Lets you focus
Deters you from succumbing to the urge to multitask (it is rude)
Demonstrates efforts and commitment of time
Can sense mood, tone, urgency, emotions in their voice
Enables dialogue, clarification and context building to occur
97

A good method!
The person on the other end of the phone can sense mood, tone, urgency, emotions in the voice
Enables dialogue, clarification and context building to occur
But:
Can’t see or connect visually
Context is harder to get and create in person
Tendency to do other things…again with the multitasking!
Less than full concentration and attention
Always smile when you are talking on the phone, the person on the other end can “hear” the smile in your voice!
98

Never underestimate the value of the handwritten note!
It shows the recipient you care enough to invest the time
You are thoughtful
They are valued
Their efforts have not gone unnoticed
The more personalized your note cards are, the bigger the impact.
99

Hard to create context
One way communication
Once it is sent, you cannot take it back
Linear in nature; nuances are hard to describe
Can be forwarded to or be misused by others
Not usually written well nor technically correct
Words mean different things to different people; your message may create confusion and misunderstandings
Sometimes creates further confusion if sent to a group
Has some utility
GROUP ACTIVITY
100

E-mail: Caveat Emptor
Know the rules for using email.
Every organization that uses email should have a policy that covers how that resource can be used. College of the
Canyons’ email policy is located on the intranet at http://www.canyons.edu/info/BoardPolicies/toc800.asp
Treat email as though it were a traditional printed document.
While it may lack the formality of a memo with a company letterhead, an email can be just as legally binding a s traditional printed document.
When sending an email message, especially a message sent to a recipient outside of the organization, ask yourself whether the content of that message would also be appropriate for a printed document.

Avoid humor in work related email
Humor has its place in the workplace but in an email, humor can cause any number of problems
Make sure that your email will not embarrass you or your organization
Keep personal email to a minimum.
Remember that the organization can monitor your use of email
Minimize the size and number of email attachments
Take extra care when you discuss sensitive information in an email
Document and report illegal, suspicious or unusual activity to the appropriate part of the organization
Most of all: Exercise your common sense whenever you use email

You suspect your written message may be misunderstood or misconstrued (especially emotional written emails)
You want to deliver bad news or discuss an emotionally charged matter
You hold a give-and-take conversation or want to conduct negotiations
You want an immediate or urgent answer
A message is extremely important or confidential and you cannot risk a breach of privacy

Technology substitutes words
Promotes poor grammar and technical incorrectness
Entire message not receive in context depending upon compatibility of communication devices
Pick up is delayed
Not for use with complex issues
Encourages receivers to assume
No context unless pictures or symbols attached
Auto correct can be the bane of the user’s existence!

So, now that you are aware of how to form relationships and network-where will YOU start?

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can change his life by changing is attitude of mind.
~William James

Why do it?
Are you realistic?
First steps
Who would you like to get to know?
What help do you need to develop these relationships?
Many faculty and staff members networked by volunteering at the Fall Family Festival last October.
Their contributions were noticed by peers and supervisors.
107

Know where you want to end up (what’s the results/outcomes should/could be)
Identify internal & external stakeholders
(partners in your effort)
Figure out who knows who can open doors
Articulate (succinctly) your vision and desired goal
Ask for what you want
Let people know—your possibilities will grow

Before you get started, manage your own expectations
Do not expect to start networking today and have 400 real, solid contacts by the end of the year
Pace yourself. First determine what you want to achieve and network with the plan in mind to reach your goal (“plan your work, work your plan”)

2)
3)
Name 3 people you would like to get to know on campus and how you will get started
Name
1)
Common ground/help you need/shared interests

Group Why Do I Desire Involvement?
1.
Who Should I Talk to to Get Started?
2.

• How do you do this well? (List actions you take)
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–
–
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• How can you get better at it? List 4 things you can do and with whom you will do it
1)
2)
3)
4)

2)
3)
Name three things you will work on to be a better listener and how you will start to do this
1)
List one thing you could do to enhance your ability to be more empathic with others

1) What scares you?
2) Is it real or imagined?
3) How has it held you back?
4) Why do you want to deal with this fear?
5) List three small steps you can take to get started
1)
2)
3)

I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.‘
~Muhammad Ali