English
 Ideas
 Organization
 Word
Choice
 Voice
 Sentence
Fluency
 Conventions
 Scored
1-5,
5 is the highest score, 1 is the lowest.
 The
ideas are the heart of the message, the
content of the piece, the main theme,
together with the details that enrich and
develop that theme.
 “Don’t
say the old lady screamed.
Bring her on and let her scream.”
–Mark Twain
 The
internal structure, thread of central
meaning, logical and sometimes intriguing
pattern of ideas.
 Key
Question- Does the organization of my
paper enhance the ideas and make it easier
to understand?
 The
use of rich, colorful and precise
language that moves and enlightens the
reader.
 Use
strong vocabulary, energetic verbs,
specific nouns, and minimal slang, clichés, or
repetition.
 The
rhythm and flow of the language, the
sound word patterns, the way in which the
writing plays to the ear, not just to the eye.
A
sentence that flows well can be easily read
aloud, no rehearsal necessary! Sentences
vary in length and are smooth sounding.
 The
unique perspective of the writer evident
in the piece through the use of compelling
ideas, engaging language, and revealing
details.
 “Voice is the writer revealed.” – Donald
Murray
 Voice is YOU coming through your writing.
It’s what gives your writing personality,
flavor, style– a sound all of its own.
 The
mechanical correctness of the piece;
spelling, grammar and usage, paragraphing,
use of capitals, and punctuation.
 “Editing
is easy. All you have to do is cross
out the wrong words.” --Mark Twain
 “The
first editor of any piece is always the
writer…” –Nancie Atwell
 Take
3 sheets of paper
 Stack paper together, then spread each sheet
apart 1 ½ inches
 Fold together and make straight crease
 You will have 6 sections when folded
 What
is my message?
 Is my message clear?
 Did I try hard to make it interesting?
 Do I have enough information?
 How
does my paper begin?
 Did I tell things in order?
 Does everything link to my message?
 How does my paper end?
 Have
I used some words that I really LOVE?
 Can my reader tell what my words mean?
 Have I used some new words?
 Did I try not to repeat words too many times?
 Does
this paper sound like me?
 How do I want my readers to feel?
 Would I keep reading this if it were longer?
MUCH longer?
 What is my favorite part?
 Did
I leave spaces between words?
 Did I use a title?
 Did I use periods or question marks?
 Did I capitalize the right words?
 Did I spell words correctly?
 Could another person read my handwriting?
 Did
I use complete sentences?
 Do my sentences begin in different ways?
 Did I use some long and some short
sentences?
 Does my paper sound smooth as I read it?
Since Ideas are the CONTENT, your writing
should be clear, focused, and jam-packed
with details!
“When I was in school I thought details were
just extra words to add in a story to make it
better. I thought detail was decoration or
wallpaper…Details are not wallpaper; they
are walls.” –Barry Lane
________
________
________
________
Things
that make
you
Nervous
________
________
________
Quiet places to escape
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Things that could go wrong on your birthday1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
 Write
2-3 paragraphs describing a birthday
disaster.
 Use
your brainstorming list of ideas.
A
piece that is strong in ideas moved beyond
“telling” into the realm of “Showing.” A book
that is well written sends you away with a
feeling that you actually knew the characters
or had seen the setting.
 Telling
way.
Example: Jane dressed in an unusual
Telling: Jane dressed in an unusual way.
Jane came to school today in pink and
white polka dot leggings and a blue and
green paisley shirt. The twelve inch purple
feather sticking straight up from her orange
hat almost kept me from noticing the army
boots on her feet.
 Avoid
a statement like this! It doesn’t give
any description.
“The first day of school was really hectic.”
I say this every year- I’m getting too old for this!
Glazed-eyed kids running, stumbling, frantically searching
for their lockers and often close to tears when their fingers
don’t respond to the number sequence printed on the 3X5
index card. What they don’t know yet is that learning to
open a locker in middle school is one of the greatest
challenges they will face all year. As I run from student to
student, assuring each that it WILL get easier- automatic
even- I can’t help noticing that their small motor
coordination is something akin to tying flies while wearing
woolen mittens. At least for this first day, everyone is
equal. No jocks, no nerds, no bullies, no victims- just a
bunch of anxious, sweat-palmed adolescents struggling to
gain access to the only private space they can call their
own for the next nine months.
-Ruth Culham
Can you turn these into showing examples?
Choose two that you would like to expand.
 The room was a mess.
 She was a kind person.
 He has terrible table manners.
 The dog looked dangerous.
 The situation was frightening.
Use descriptions of the 5 senses (imagery) in
order to show!
 Four
figures walked onto the field. They
carried a large wooden box. They put down
the box in the glare of the spotlight. The
crowd waited.
 What
questions is the reader left with?
Four senior captains on the Southmoore High
School football team reverently carried a large
wooden casket onto the immaculately kept field.
Slowly they lowered the plainly adorned coffin at the
50 yard line. As the warm stadium spotlights shown
against the hard plastic of their helmets, the four
figures slowly turned in an about face.
A new figure approached. The blue and gold
super fans packed in the stadium watched gleefully
with anticipation. The Southmoore Sabercat mascot
prowled forward, making the crowd forget he was
simply a student in costume. Dramatically, the larger
than life sabercat ripped open the flimsy lid from the
coffin to reveal a rotting, lifeless Edmond
Timberwolf. The band instantly stuck up the fight
song and as if on cue the crow erupted into cries and
cheers.
 Just
about a week ago my teacher had a rip
in his pants. It was really funny. I didn’t see
it right away, but someone told me. Then I
saw it and wanted to laugh, but I held it in.
Then someone told him, and everyone
started to laugh. Then he went home to
change.
 What
details do we need to add?
 Expand
two statements of your choice.
The room was a mess.
She was a kind person.
He has terrible table manners.
The dog looked dangerous.
The situation was frightening.
 Add
details to the story about a rip in your
teacher’s pants.
Just about a week ago my teacher had a rip in his pants. It
was really funny. I didn’t see it right away, but someone told
me. Then I saw it and wanted to laugh, but I held it in. Then
someone told him, and everyone started to laugh. Then he
went home to change.