Liberty University – Institute for Military Resilience
Resilience Blog Archive – July 2013
Helping Children Bounce
(Posted: July 2, 2013)
I appreciate the many of you who connected for the last LU Institute for Military Resilience
(IMR) Webinar on April 18 entitled “Resilient Military Marriage and Family.” If you were
unable to attend, you can go to the Webinar section on the IMR Home page to see the archived
IMR webinars, including this last one.
This post will continue our discussion of “Resilient Military Marriage and Family.” Specifically,
given that resilience is a critical life skill, how do we teach resilience to our children? In
essence, how do we “help children bounce?” Aristotle stated that “the primary task of any
civilization is the education of its youth.” While some in our culture choose to let the public
education system, or TV, or social media, or peers, or video games assume the role as “primary
educators” of our children; God’s plan places parents in this essential role.
Perhaps you are using some of these techniques already, but I thought it might be useful to pass
along some very practical tips for “training up your children in the way they should go.” For
starters, I have just returned from a fun-filled, action-packed, exhausting (for a grandparent, at
least), and very meaningful week at the beach with our children’s families, including five
grandchildren. We call it “Kousins Kamp,” our primary opportunity each year to get all of our
family together. Particularly in the transient military culture, such “touchstones of continuity”
become very important for family growth. Although not stated explicitly to the grandchildren,
one of the primary objectives of Kousins Kamp is also to invest in their spiritual growth; sort of
like a family “Vacation Bible School.” Our theme this year was “Resilience”. Imagine that!
From a theological perspective, the fundamental issue is how do we make the Biblical truth
relevant to our target audience, be it a group of distinguished businessmen or a squirmy cluster
of grandchildren eager to hit the beach? This latter challenge led us to the use of fun and agerelevant resilience “object lessons” for children and teens. While I will provide a few examples
here, I encourage you to develop your own. It is never too early to teach our children the fine art
of “bouncing back” from the traumas of life, something I like to call “Resilience God
Style.” Although today’s culture would seek a “trophy for every child” in order to protect fragile
self-esteem, reality exposes disappointments, setbacks, and real trauma in life. In The Princess
Bride, Westley reflects "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says different is selling
something." From a Biblical perspective out of John 16:33a, “In the world you will have
tribulation (squeezing, sifting, thrashing).” Hence, the issue is not if, but when each of us will
experience tribulation, pain, suffering, and setbacks. The fundamental challenge is to respond in
healthy ways that allow us to become better, wiser, stronger, and more prepared for future life
challenges and opportunities. We seldom forget trauma, but we can learn to view it through the
focus of God’s lens.
Given this preamble, let’s consider a couple of these object lessons (we call them “science
experiments” with the grandchildren) which are drawn from the principles contained in Resilient
Warriors:
Tennis Ball v. Egg Experiment:
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Part I - Give each child a raw egg. The experiment is to determine if an egg or a
tennis ball will bounce higher. Clearly it helps if the leader “hypes” the event…
having each child try to make their egg bounce. The predictable outcome is that all
the eggs are smashed a la “Humpty Dumpty.” As a PS, have a hose ready to wash
down the target area!
Part II - Then send the children off as a team to find hidden tennis balls which
have their name on them. After all children are reassembled, they then bounce
their tennis balls, with predictable contrast to the eggs.
Part III – Discuss in the context of “bouncing back” from life challenges, using
age-relevant examples of setbacks and trauma. The basic question is “Would you
rather be a tennis ball or an egg?” Now compare the tennis ball- egg contrast in the
experiment with II Corin 4:8,9 (eg- “struck down, but not destroyed”).
Part IV – Use the tennis balls during the week in other object lessons and normal
play activities. The graphic picture of Biblical resilience you have drawn for the
children will provide a valuable touchstone as you navigate future life experiences
together.
Choose Forgiveness experiment:
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Part I - Use slices of apple and lemon. Have a child eat an apple slice, then have
them bite into the bitter lemon. Take their picture at the moment the sour lemon
takes effect. At this point, most children will agree that they would not want to live
with such a bitter taste in their mouths.
Part II – Talk about the importance of “loosening one’s grip” on bitterness, and
choosing forgiveness (pg 147, Resilient Warriors). Discuss the “ten most powerful
words” in the human language: “I was wrong. I am sorry. Will you forgive
me.” Have them practice asking for and granting forgiveness.
Part III – Act out the story of Joseph, using family members as characters. Use
beach towels as robes, etc. Illustrate the times when Joseph was a tennis ball (v. an
egg), and when he chose forgiveness (v. bitterness).
The Hope Diamond experiment: The basic content parallels our last Blog entry
regarding the “Hope Diamond.”
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Part I - Obtain an inexpensive, large “diamond” -- we found a grapefruit sized
piece of cut glass for less than $10. Use this “diamond” to discuss how diamonds
are made, how they are valued, etc. Discuss the history of the Hope Diamond in
the Smithsonian, and the reality that it “brought out the worst” in many people.
Part II - Prepare a chart with a diamond outline on it, with 26 blanks
corresponding to the 26 words of John 3:16, described on page 203 of Resilient
Warriors. Tell the children about another “Hope Diamond” that brings out the best
in people – John 3:16 as highlighted by Max Lucado in 3:16 – The Numbers of
Hope. Have them fill in the blanks of the chart with the words of John 3:16, using
this to discuss God’s role and our role in this “26 word parade of hope.”
Armed with these examples, I challenge you to develop more resilience object lessons of interest
and value to your children. Resilient Warriors depicts the principles. Now you have the
opportunity to make them real and relevant to your family? You no doubt can improve on the
ones presented above and develop many others which are suitable to your particular family
setting. Your true reward will be watching your children play back the biblical principles as they
apply the simple illustrations to their own life experiences. You will find yet once again that
God’s Word does not return void.
I wish each of you God’s very best for your family, as well as good success in mentoring others
regarding effective parenting and mentoring amidst the challenges of real life.
Respectfully in Christ,
Bob Dees