Charlie Bucket
Grandpa Joe
Grandma Georgina
Mike TeeVee
Veruca Salt
Mrs. Bucket
Grandma Josephine
Willy Wonka
Mrs. TeeVee
Mr. Salt
Mr. Beauregarde Violet Beauregarde
Slugworth/Wilkenson/Oompa Loompa Jopeck/Factory Worker
Mrs. Gloop/Mrs. Curtis Augustus Gloop/Detective
Oompa Loompa/Reporter 3
Oompa Loompa/Tinker
Oompa Loompa/Kid 2
Oompa Loompa/Bill
Oompa Loompa/Kid 4
Oompa Loompa/Kid 3
Oompa Loompa/Turkentine
Gpa George/ Oompa Loompa
Oompa Loompa/Winkelmann/Person 5 Kid 1/Oompa Loompa
Oompa Loompa/Reporter 4/ Person 4 Reporter 2/ Oompa Loompa
Oompa Loompa/ Reporter 1/Person 3 Person 1/Oompa Loopa
Mr. TeeVee/ Person 2
Oompa Loompa/Mrs. Salt

Lights: Curtain Warmers
Preshow Music
– Fun 60-70’s kids music
Blackout
Act 1 Scene 1
Lights:
Sound: Candy Man song loud then fading to under dialogue
(Bill’s Candy Shop)
Kids
Sizzler! I want a Sizzler!
Bill
All right, all right, all right, what’s it going to be? A triple cream cup for Christopher…
Kids
A squelchy snorter!
Bill
A Squelchy Snorter for Otis…
Kid One
I want a Sqelchy Snorter…
Bill
A Sizzler for June Marie…
Kid Two
C’mon, give me a Sizzler…
Bill
And listen! Wonka’s go a new one today.
Kids
What is it?
Bill
This is called a Scrumdidilyumptious Bar.

Winkelmann
Scrumbibilyunctious Bar? How does he do it?
Bill
My dear boy, do you ask a fish how it swims?
Winkelmann
No…
Bill
Or a bird how it flies?
Winkelmann
No…
Bill
No sirree, you don’t ! They do it because they were born to do it. Just like Willy Wonka was born to be a candy man, you look like you were born to be a Wonkarer.
Act 1 Scene 2
Sound: Song fade completely
Lights:
(On the street)
Charlie
Hi, Mr. Jopeck.
Jopeck
Ah, come along, Charlie; you’re late.
Charlie
It’s payday, Mr. Jopeck.
Jopeck
You’re right. There you are.
Charlie
Thanks.
Jopeck

Say hello to your Grandpa Joe.
Charlie
Okay. (he goes off delivering papers)
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 3
Sound: eerie music
Lights:
(Charlie stands outside the gates looking at the factory)
Tinker
Up the airy mountain
Down the rushing glen
We dare not go a-hunting
For fear of little men
You see: Nobody ever goes in…
And nobody ever comes out!
Sound: eerie music fades out
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 4
Lights:
(Bucket’s House)
Gma Joesphine
Charlie’s late.
Gpa Joe
He works too hard for a little boy. He should have some time to play.
Mrs. Bucket
Not enough hours in the day. With the four of you bedridden for the past twenty years, it takes a lot of work to keep this family going.
Gma Joesphine
If only his father were alive.
Gpa Joe
Soon as I get my strength back, I’m gonna get out of this bed and help him.

Mrs. Bucket
Dad, in all the years you’ve been saying you’re going to get out of that bed, I’ve yet to see you set foot on the floor.
Gpa Joe
Well…maybe if the floor wasn’t so cold.
Charlie
(enters) Hi, everybody!
Gpa Joe
Wake up!
Gma Josephine
Wake up!
Gpa Joe
Wake up; Charlie’s home!
Charlie
Grandpa George. Grandma Georgina. Grandma Josephine. Grandpa Joe. Is this your supper?
Gpa Joe
Well, it’s your too, Charlie.
Charlie
I’m fed up with cabbage water. It’s not enough.
Gma Georgina
Charlie!
Gma Josephine
It’s all we have.
Gpa Joe
What are you saying?
Charlie
How about this? (shows a loaf of bread)

Mrs. Bucket
Charlie, where’d you get that?
Gpa George
What difference does it make where he got it? The point is: he got it.
Charlie
It’s my first payday.
Mrs. Bucket
Good for you Charlie. We’ll have a real banquet.
Charlie
Mom…? Here’s what’s left. You keep it. Except for this. From now on, I’m going to pay for your tobacco.
Gpa Joe
No one’s going to pay for it, Charlie. I’m giving it up.
Mrs. Bucket
Come on Dad, it’s only one pipe a day.
Gpa Joe
When a loaf of bread looks like a banquet, I’ve no right buying tobacco.
Charlie
Go on, Grandpa. Please take it. After I finished my paper route, I was in front of
Wonka’s. There was this strange man there. I think he was a tinker. He was standing ri ght behind me, looking up at the factory. Just before he left he said, “Nobody ever goes in, and nobody ever comes out.”
Gpa Joe
And right he was, Charlie. Not since the tragic day that Willy Wonka locked it.
Charlie
Why’d he lock it?
Gpa Joe
Because all the other chocolate makers in the works were sending in spies…dressed as workers!...to steal Mr. Wonka’s secret recipes. Especially Slugworth…oh, that

Slugworth, he was the worst! Finally Mr. Wonka shouted, “I shall be ruined! Close the factory!” And that’s just what he did. He locked the gates and vanished completely.
And then suddenly, about three years later, the most amazing things happened. The factory started working again, full blast! And more delicious candies were coming out than ever before. But the gates stayed locked so that no one, not even Slugworth, could steal them.
Charlie
But Grandpa, someone must be helping Mr. Wonka work the factory.
Gpa Joe
Thousands must be helping him.
Charlie
But who? Who are they?
Gpa Joe
That is the biggest memory of them all.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 5
Sound: School Bell
Lights:
(Classroom)
Mr. Turkentine
Charlie Bucket
Charlie
Yes, Mr. Turkentine?
Mr. Turkentine
I shall need an assistant. Come and give me a hand. We have here nitric acid, glyc erin, and a special mixture of my own. Together it’s horrible, dangerous stuff; blows you up. But mixed together in the right way, as only I know how, what do you think it makes?
Charlie
I don’t know, sir.

Mr. Turkentine
Of course you don’t know. You don’t know because only I know. If you knew and I didn’t know, then you’d be teaching me instead of me teaching you. And for a student to teach is presumptuous and rude. Do I make myself clear?
Charlie
Yes, sir.
Mr. Turkentine
Good. Now, mixed together in the right way, these three highly dangerous ingredients make the finest wart remover in the world. The trick is to pour them in in equal amounts. Now, Charlie, you take the nitric acid and the glycerin, and ‘ll take my own special mixture. You ready? Good lad; pour.
Charlie
Did we do it wrong?
Mr. Turkentine
No, certainly not; this is for very big warts.
Sound: Commotion
Kid one
I’m gonna get there first. Get out of my way!
Mr. Turkentine
Now what’s going on?
Kid Two
I hope there’s still some left.
Mr. Turkentine
You, Winkelmann, come here. What’s happening?
Winkelmann
Will Wonka’s opening his factory; he’s gonna let people in.
Mr. Turkentine
Are you sure?

Winkelmann
It’s on the radio. And he’s giving truckloads of chocolate away.
Mr. Turkentine
Class dismissed!
Winkelmann
No, no, it’s only for five people.
Mr. Turkentine
Class un-dismissed.
Winkelmann
He’s hidden five golden tickets. And the people who find them will win the big prize.
Mr. Turkentine
Where’s he hidden the tickets?
Winkelmann
Inside five Wonka bars! You gotta buy Wonka Bars to find ‘em!
Mr. Turkentine
Class re-dismissed.
Kid Three
I’ll meet you downstairs.
Kid Four
I’m gonna buy the whole store.
Kids
Ad lib plans
– excitement
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 6 (Video)
Projection 1
Newsman
And now, details on the sudden announcement that has captured the attention of the entire world. Hidden among the countless billions of Wonka Bars are five gold tickets.

And to the five people who find them will come the most fabulous prize one could wish for: a lifetime supply of chocolate. And as if this were not enough, each winner before he receives his prize will be personally escorted through the top secret chocolate factory.
Lights:
(Bucket’s house)
Gma Josephine
They’re all crazy!
Gpa Joe
Ssshhh! The man’s a genius! He’ll sell a million bars.
Newsman
…by the mythical Will Wonka himself. The amount of chocolate involved in this competition has relighted the imagination to incite candy eaters and all citizens around the world.
Charlie
Grandpa, do you think I’ve got a chance to find one?
Gpa Joe
One? I’m counting on you to find all five!
Charlie
One’s enough for me.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 7
Projection 2
Newsman
We began with five golden tickets like five lucky bolts of lightning read to strike without notice at any points on the map. No one knew where, no one knew when the first one would hit. But as you all know, last night we got out answer. While we slept, the first golden ticket was found in the small town of Duselheim, Germany. We are now joining with the lucky boy Augustus Gloop and his mother.

Reporter 1
Augustus, how does it make you feel to be the first golden ticket finder?
Augustus
Hungry.
Reporter 1
Any other feelings?
Augustus
Feel sorry for Wonka. It’s gonna cost him a fortune in fudge.
Reporter 1
Mrs. Gloop, would you care to say a few words to the television audience?
Mrs. Gloop
I just knew Augustus would find a golden ticket. Eating is his hobby, you know. I encourage h im. He wouldn’t do it unless he needed nourishment, would he? Anyway, it’s all vitamins.
Sound: creepy Slugworth music
Lights:
Slugworth
Whispers in Mrs. Gloop and Augustus’ ears – everyone nods.
Lights:
Act 1 scene 8
(Bucket’s house)
Lights:
All Buckets
Happy Birthday, Charlie!
Gpa Joe
Happy birthday.
Mrs. Bucket
Here you are, Charlie.
Charlie

Thank you. (opens red scarf) It’s terrific.
Mrs. Bucket
We each knitted a bit: Grandma Georgina, Grandma Josephina, and me.
Gma Josephina
I did the end pieces with the little tassels.
Gpa George
And here’s a little gift from Grandpa Joe and me.
Charlie
I think I know what this is…it is a Wonka.
Gpa George
Open it, Charlie. Let’s see that golden ticket.
Charlie
Would that be fantastic?
Mrs. Bucket
It’s not fair to raise his hopes.
Gpa Joe
Never mind. Go on, open it, Charlie. I want to see that gold.
Mrs. Bucket
Stop it, dad.
Charlie
I’ve got the same chance as anybody else, haven’t I?
Gpa Joe
You’ve got more, Charlie, because you want it more. Go on, open it.
Charlie
Here goes. I got it!
Gpa Joe
Where? Where?

Gma Josephine
Let’s see!
Charlie
Fooled you, didn’t I. You thought I really had it.
Gpa Joe
Never mind, Charlie. You’ll find one.
Charlie
Here, everybody have a bite.
Gpa Joe
No no no, you eat it.
Gma Josephine
Certainly not.
Gma Georgina
No no no no no.
Gpa George
Puts hand back on the bed.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 9
(Salt’s factory)
Lights:
Veruca
I wanted to be the first to find a golden ticket, Daddy.
Mr. Salt
I know, angel. We’re doing the best we can. I’ve got every girl on the bleeding staff hunting for you.
Veruca
All right, where is it? What haven’t they found it?
Mr. Salt

Veruca, sweetheart, I’m not a magician! Give me time!
Veruca
I want it now! What’s the matter with those twerps down there?
Mr. Salt
For five days now the entire flipping factory’s been on the job. They haven’t shelled a peanut in there since Monday. They’ve been shelling flaming chocolate bars from dawn to dusk.
Veruca
Make ‘em work nights.
Mr. Salt
Come along, come along, you girls, put a jack in it or you’ll be out on your ears, every one of you! And listen to this: the first girl that finds a golden ticket gets a one pound bonus in her pay packet! What do you think of that?
Veruca
They’re not even trying. They don’t want to find it. They’re jealous of me.
Mr. Salt
Sweetheart, I can’t push ‘em no harder. Nineteen thousand bars an hour they’re shelling. Seven hundred and sixty thousand they’ve done so far.
Veruca
You promised, Daddy! You promised I’d have it the very first day!
Mrs. Salt
You’re going to be very unpopular around here, Henry, if you don’t deliver soon.
Mr. Salt
It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy.
Veruca
I won’t talk to you ever again. You’re a rotten, mean father. You never give me anything I want. And I won’t go to school ‘til I have it.
Mr. Salt

Veruca, sweetheart, angel…Now. There are only four tickets left in the whole world, and the whole ruddy world’s hunting for them. What can I do?
Worker
I got it! I got it, Mr. Salt, here it is!
Veruca
It’s about time too! I want it! Give me that ticket! It’s mine! I’ve found a golden ticket!
Sound: creepy Slugworth music
Lights:
Slugworth
Whispers in Veruca’s ears – she nods.
Lights:
Mr. Salt
Thank God for that.
Mrs. Salt
Aye, Happiness is what counts with children. Happiness and harmony.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 10
Projection 2
Reporter 2
And it can happen right here too, unbelievable as it sounds, right here in America.
Where even in the smallest town, the happiest of dreams can come true. Because folks, here she is, Miss Violet Beauregarde, finder of Wonka’s golden ticket number three, from Miles City, Montana. And with her, the proud parents: Mr. Beauregarde, a prominent local politician, a great civic leader, a philosopher…
Mr. Beauregarde
Hi, folks, Sam Beauregarde here, Square Deal Sam to you, with all of today’s great giveaway bar gains. The finest values you’ll get anywhere in the entire country. Now this little number right here’s a four door sedan…
Violet
Come on, Dad, they don’t want you!

Reporter 2
Thank you, sir. Violet, would you care to say a few words to the nation.
Violet
Sure, I will. Here it is, golden ticket number three, and it’s all mine.
Reporter 2
Tell us how it happened, Violet.
Violet
Well I’m a gum-chewer, normally, but when I heard about these ticket things of Wonka’s
I laid off the gum and switched to candy bars instead. Now, of course, I’m right back on gum. I chew it all day except at meal times when I stick it behind my ear.
Mr. Beauregarde
Violet…
Violet
Cool it. Now this piece of gum here is one that I’ve been chewing on for three months solid, and that’s a world record! It’s beaten the record held by my best friend Miss
Cornelia Princmetel, and was she mad! Hi, Cornelia, how are you sweetie?
Sound: creepy Slugworth music
Lights:
Slugworth
Whispers in Violet’s ears – she nods.
Lights:
Mr. Beauregarde
Let me just butt in here for a moment to say that if any of you folks watching are dissatisfied with your…
Reporter 2
Mister…just a minute…this isn’t…
Act 1 Scene 11
(Laundry)
Lights:
Mrs. Bucket

Charlie, what are you doing here?
Charlie
I thought if you were ready, I’d walk you home.
Mrs. Bucket
I wish I were, but it looks like I’m gonna be here late tonight.
Charlie
Oh, well, then I guess I’ll be going.
Mrs. Bucket
Well why don’t you stay a minute? Here, pull up a pile of clothes and sit down.
Everything all right at school?
Charlie
Yep.
Mrs. Bucket
Good. Go on your newspaper route today?
Charlie
Just finished.
Mrs. Bucket
Good.
Charlie
I wanted to tell you something.
Mrs. Bucket
Oh?
Charlie
They found the third ticket today.
Mrs. Bucket
Did they?
Charlie

Yeah, Well…guess I’ll be going now.
Mrs. Bucket
Is that all?
Charlie
Well I thought you’d like to know. Most people are pretty interested. I know I’m interested. There are only two tickets left you know. Just two. Pretty soon just one.
Mrs. Bucket
I wonder who the lucky ones will be.
Charlie
Well in case you’re wondering if it’ll be me, it won’t be. Just in case you’re wondering, you can count me out.
Mrs. Bucket
Charlie…there are a hundred billion people in this world, and only five of them will find golden tickets. Even if you had a sackful of money you probably w ouldn’t find one. And after this contest is over, you’ll be no different from the billions of others who didn’t find one.
Charlie
But I am different. I want it more than any of them.
Mrs. Bucket
Charlie, you’ll get your chance. One day things will change.
Charlie
When? When will they change?
Mrs. Bucket
Probably when you least expect it Charlie. See you later.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 12
Projection 3
Reporter 3

Wile the rest of the world goes on searching, here in the Southwest it has actually hap pened. That’s what I said, friends. There’s only one golden ticket left in the entire world because right here in our own community of Marble Falls, Arizona, is lucky winner number four. Now, the name soon to be heard around the universe is Mr. Mike
TeeVee. Hey, Mike, do you think we might shut that thing off?
Mike
No, are you crazy?
Mrs. TeeVee
He won’t answer ‘till the station break.
Reporter 3
Mike, the country wants to hear from you; the world is waiting…
Mike
Can’t you shut up? I’m busy. Boy, what a great show.
Mrs. TeeVee
I serve all his tv dinners right here. He’s never even been to the table.
Reporter 3
You love to watch TV, Mike?
Mike
You, bet.
Reporter 3
What about that golden ticket, Mike? That’s what we all came to hear…
Mike
Hold it! I wanna catch this.
Reporter 3
You like the killings, huh?
Mike
What do you think life’s all about?
Reporter 3

Mike, would you tell us…
Mike
(shoots cap gun) Wait ‘til I get a real one. Colt 45. Pop won’t let me have on yet, will you, pop.
Mr. TeeVee
Not ‘til you’re twelve son.
Sound: creepy Slugworth music
Lights:
Slugworth
Whispers in Mike’s ears – he nods.
Lights:
Newsman
Four down, and one to go. And somewhere out there, another lucky person is moving closer and closer to finding the last of the most sought after prizes in history. Though we cannot help but envy him, whoever he is, and we might be tempted to be bitter in our losin g, we remember there are many more important things….many more important things. Offhand I can’t think of what they are, but I’m sure there must be something.
And now over to the weather…
Act 1 Scene 13
(Bucket’s House)
Lights:
Charlie
Why’d you wake up, Grandpa? Is something wrong? Grandpa, that money was for tobacco.
Gpa Joe
I told you, Charlie, I’ve given it up. Go on, open it. One ticket left. Now let’s see some of that gold.
Charlie
No, you do it. I can’t.

Gpa Joe
Something tells me we’re gonna be lucky this time. I’ve got a funny feeling inside.
Which end shall I open first?
Charlie
That end. Just a tiny bit.
Gpa Joe
Like this?
Charlie
Now a bit more.
Gpa Joe
You finish it; I can’t.
Charlie
No, Grandpa, you do it.
Gpa Joe
All right, here goes.
Charlie
You know..I bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.
Act 1 Scene 14
Projection 4
Detective
I’m sorry, Mrs. Curtis. Doesn’t seem to be anything in his papers to give us a clue.
Mrs. Curtis
They kidnapped my husband twelve hours ago. When are we going to hear from them?
What do they want?
Detective
Try to stay calm. They did it for ransom. All we can do is wait to hear their demands.
Mrs. Curtis
I’ll give them anything, anything they want! All I want is to have Harold back!

Sound: phone ring
Detective
(on phone) Go ahead, we’re listening. Uh huh. Uh huh.
Mrs. Curtis
What did they ask for? Whatever it is, they can have it.
Detective
They want your case of Wonka Bars (pause) Mrs. Curtis, did you hea r me? It’s your husband’s life of your case of Wonka bars.
Mrs. Curtis
How long will they give me to think it over?
Announcer
Wonka Bars…the best chocolate in the world.
Projection 5
Breaking news sounds
Newsman
That’s it, that’s it! It’s all over! The Wonka contest is all over! The fifth and final ticket has been found the end has come. The fifth and last golden ticket has just been found in Paraguay. The finder is lucky Alberto Minoleta, the multimillionaire owner of gambling casinos throughout South America.
Lights:
Gpa Joe
Turn it off. Well, that’s that. No more golden tickets.
Gma Josephine
A lot of rubbish, the whole thing.
Gpa George
Not to Charlie it wasn’t. A little boy’s go to have something in this world to hope for.
What’s he got to hope for now?
Gma Georgina
Who’s going to tell him?

Mrs. Bucket
Let’s not wake him. He’ll find out soon enough.
Gpa Joe
Yeah, let him sleep. Let him have one last dream.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 15
(on the street)
Lights:
(Charlie finds a coin in a sewer grate and digs it out)
(Bill’s candy shop)
Charlie
(clears his throat)
Bill
HI.
Charlie
I’d like a bar of chocolate please.
Bill
Yeah, sure. What kind? A Slugworth Sizzler? A Wonka Scrumdidilyumptious?
Charlie
Whichever is biggest.
Bill
Try a Scrumdidilyumptious. Now that all the tickets have been found, I don’t have to hide them anymore. Hey, hey, hey, take it easy. You’ll get a stomach ache if you swallow it like that.
Charlie
Bye.
Bill
Bye now.

Charlie
I think I’ll buy just one more, for my Grandpa Joe.
Bill
Sure. Why not try a regular Wonka Bar this time?
Charlie
Fine.
Light:
Act 1 Scene 16
(on the street)
Light:
Jopeck
Extra, extra! Read all about it! Hear the latest news! Get your papers here!
Person 1
What’s going on?
Jopeck
Hear about the scandal?
Person 2
Look at this.
Person 3
Which one?
Person 4
Here, let me see.
Jopeck
Extra, extra! Hear about the scandal.
Person 5
Gimme a newspaper.
Jopeck
All right, all right, take it easy. One at a time.

Person 4
Who’s the one that did it?
Person 2
Did you hear the news?
Jopeck
All right, all right, just a moment…wait your turn…give me a chance…
Person 2
That gambler from Paraguay made up a phony ticket.
Person 1
That means there’s one Golden Ticket still floating around somewhere.
Person 2
Can you imagine the nerve of that guy, trying to fool the whole world?
Person 1
Aw, he really was a crook! Well this means the contest goes on forever. Wonder where they’ll find the next one.
Jopeck
Take it easy, take it easy, one at a time.
Charlie
(Charlie opens his Wonka bar…there is a golden ticket)
Sound: gold
Person 3
Hey, you’ve got it! You’ve go the last golden ticket! The kid’s found the last golden ticket! Hold it up, sonny, so we can see!
Person 1
Hey, let me see it!
Person 2
It really is gold!
Jopeck

Stand back there. Leave the boy alone!
Person 3
Hey, kid, come over here.
Person 4
Let me see it! Did you see what he’s got?
Jopeck
You’re going to kill him! Leave him alone! Break it up.
Person 5
Let me see it! Over here, show it over here!
Person 4
It really is gold!
Person 1
I wanna see it. Hey, kid…
Jopeck
Come on, Charlie! Hold on to that ticket Run for it, Charlie! Run straight home and don’t stop ‘til you get there!
Sound: creepy Slugworth music
Lights:
Slugworth
I congratulate you, little boy. Well done. You found the fifth golden ticket. May I introduce myself. Arthur Slugworth, President of Slugworth Chocolates, Incorporated.
Now listen carefully because I’m going to make you very rich indeed. Mr. Wonka is at this moment working on a fantastic invention: the everlasting gobstopper. If he succeeds, he’ll ruin me. So all I want you to do is to get hold of just one everlasting gobstopper and bring it to me so that I can find the secret formula. Your reward will be ten thousand of these (shows stack of money). Think it over, will you. A new house for your family, and good food and comfort for the rest of th eir lives. And don’t forget the name: Everlasting Gobstopper.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 17

(Bucket’s house)
Lights:
Charlie
Look, everyone, look, I’ve got it! The fifth golden ticket is mine!
Gpa Joe
You’re pulling our legs, Charlie! There aren’t any more golden tickets.
Charlie
No, Grandpa, the last one was a fake; it said so in the papers. I found some money in the street, and I bought a Wonka bar, and the ticket was in it.
Mrs. Bucket
Charlie!
Charlie
Look at it, Grandpa, see for yourself!
Gma Josephine
Read it, Joe, for heaven’s sake!
Gpa Joe
“Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket, from Mr. Willy Wonka. Present this ticket at the factory gates at ten o’clock in the morning of the first day of October, and do not be late. You may bring with you one member of your own family but no one else. In your wildest dreams you could not imagine the marvelous surprises that await you!” Charlie you’ve done it!
Mrs. Bucket
I can’t believe it!
Charlie
Grandpa? It says I can take somebody with me. I wish you could go.
Gpa Joe
Charlie. Ah, that’s good. Now help me up. Oh!
Charlie
Are you okay?

Gpa Joe
Oh yeah, I’m fine, Charlie.
Gma Georgina
(screams)
Mrs. Bucket
Easy, Dad.
Gma Josephine
Joe! Watch it, Joe!
Gpa Joe
Look at me! Look at me! Up and about…I haven’t done this in twenty years.
Charlie
Grandpa!
Mrs. Bucket
It says the first of October; that’s tomorrow.
Gpa Joe
Jumping Crocodiles, Charlie! We’ve got a lot to do. Comb your hair, wash your face, polish your shoes, and brush your…
Mrs. Bucket
I’ll take care of everything, Dad.
Gpa Joe
We don’t have too much time.
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 18
(Wonka Factory Gates)
Lights:
Reporter
Well, this is it folks. This is the big day, the historic day on which Willy Wonka has promised to open his gates and shower gifts on the five lucky winners. From all over the globe, people are gathering here waiting for the hour to strike, waiting to catch a glimpse of the legendary magician Mr. Willy Wonka.

Mr. Beauregarde
Hi, friends. Sam Beauregarde here. The next time you’re in Miles City, Montana, don’t forget to visit Beauregarde’s Automart…
Violet
Cut it out, Dad; for heaven’s sake, this is my show! Hi, Cornelia sweetie, I’ve still got it.
Veruca
I want to go in first before anybody else.
Mr. Salt
Anything you say, sweetheart.
Mrs. Gloop
Save some room for later, Augustus liebling.
Charlie
Grandpa?
Gpa Joe
Mmm?
Charlie
I don’t believe it. We did it’ we’re actually going in.
Gpa Joe
We’re going to see the greatest of them all: Mr. Willy Wonka!
Sound: Bells chimes
(The clock strikes ten. Willy Wonka emerges; the crowd cheers until they see he is limping with a cane. He p erforms an acrobatic somersault…the crowd applauds)
Wonka
Thank you. Thank you. Welcome, my friends. Welcome to my chocolate factory.
Would you come forward please?
Mr. Salt
Veruca first! Get back you! Come on Veruca sweetheart.
(Slugworth gives the thumbs up to the kids)

Charlie
That’s Slugworth!
Wonka
Welcome. It’s nice to have you here. I’m so glad you could come. This is going to be such an exciting day. I hope you enjoy it. I think you will. And now would you please show me your golden tickets.
Veruca
I’m Veruca Salt.
Wonka
My dear Veruca, what a pleasure. And how pretty you look in that lovely mink coat.
Veruca
I’ve got three others at home.
Wonka
And Mr. Salt, overjoyed to see you sir. Would you just step over there for a minute.
Augustus
Augustus Gloop.
Wonka
Augustus, my dear boy, how good to see you…and in such fine shape. And this must be the radiant Mrs. Gloop. Just over there, dear lady.
Violet
Violet Beauregarde.
Wonka
Darling child, welcome to Wonka’s.
Violet
What kind of gum you got here?
Wonka
Charming, charming!
Mr. Beauregarde

Sam Beauregarde here, Mr. Wonka.
Wonka
My dear sir, what a genuine pleasure.
Mr. Beauregarde
If ever you need anything in the automotive line, just call on Sam B, phone num ber’s on the card. With Sam B., it’s a guarantee.
Mike
I’m Mike TeeVee.
Wonka
Mike…
Mike
Wham! You’re dead!
Wonka
Wonderful to meet you, Mike. And Mrs. Teevee, how do you do? What an adorable little boy you have.
Mrs. Teevee
Thank you.
Wonka
Just over there.
Charlie
Charlie Bucket.
Wonka
Well, well, Charlie Bucket, I read all about you in the papers. I’m so happy for you. And who is this gentleman?
Charlie
My grandfather, Grandpa Joe.
Wonka
Delighted to meet you, sir. Overjoyed, enraptured, entranced.

Violet
When do I get my chocolate?
Lights:
(Wonka’s office)
Wonka
Little surprises around every corner but nothing dangerous. Don’t be alarmed. And as your outer vestments are in hand, we’ll begin. Now one for each of the children.
Mr. Salt
Floods, fire, frost, or frippery?
Mike
Accidents? What kind of accidents?
Mr. Beauregarde
…labor unions?
Mrs. Teevee
I didn’t know we had to sign anything for this tour.
Mr. Beauregarde
…in trying to determine…
Violet
I can’t see what it says in the bottom.
Wonka
Violet? You first. Sign here.
Mr. Beauregarde
Hold it! Violet, baby, don’t you sign anything there. What’s this all about?
Wonka
Standard form of contract.
Mr. Beauregarde
Don’t talk to me about contracts, Wonka; I use ‘em myself. They’re strictly for suckers.

Wonka
Yes, but you wouldn’t begrudge me a little protection. A drop.
Mr. Beauregarde
I don’t sign anything without my lawyer.
Mr. Salt
My Veruca don’t sign anything either.
Wonka
Then she don’t go in. I’m sorry, rules of the house.
Veruca
Gimme that pen. You’re always making things difficult.
Wonka
Nicely handled, Veruca. She’s a girl who knows where she’s going. Violet….
Mr. Beauregarde
Wait a minute, what’s all that small print there at the bottom?
Wonka
Oh, if you have any problems, dial information, thank you for calling, Mike? Augustus?
Mr. Beauregarde
Violet. Violet!
Mrs. Teevee
I assume there’s an accident indemnity clause.
Wonka
Never between friends.
Mike
Saw this in a movie once. Guy signed his wife’s insurance policy. Then he bumped her off.
Wonka
Clever.

Charlie
What about me, Grandpa?
Gpa Joe
Sign away, Charlie; we got nothing to lose.
Veruca
Let’s go in; come on!
Wonka
Patience, patience, little dear. Everyt hing has to be in order. Everyone’s signed? Yes.
Good. On we go!
Mr. Salt
Uh, Wonka, there’s some mistakes here…
Mike
There is no door.
Wonka
Well I know there’s a door here someplace.
Lights:
Mrs. Gloop
(screams)
Mr. Beauregarde
I don’t like this, Wonka; I don’t like it at all.
Mr. Salt
Is this a trick or something, Wonka?
Veruca
Let me out of I’ll scream!
Mrs. Teevee
Somebody’s touching me.
Mr. Salt

Now look here, Wonka…
Wonka
Excuse me, question time will come at the end of the session. We must press on.
Come along…come along…Ahhh, here we are.
Mr. Beauregarde
Oh, don’t be a darn fool, Wonka; it’s pitch black.
Wonka
It is? Are you sure? Huh. How do you like that?
Mr. Salt
What is this, Wonka? Some kind of fun house?
Wonka
Why, having fun?
Mrs. Teevee
I’ve had enough.
Mr. Beauregarde
Come on, Violet, we’re getting out of here.
Mike
Where’s the chocolate?
Mr. Beauregarde
I doubt if there is any.
Mr. Salt
I doubt if any of us will get out of here alive.
Lights:
Wonka
Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about. My dear friends, you are now about to enter the nerve center of the entire Wonka Factory. Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities. And some of my realities become dreams. And almost everything you will see is eatable….edible. I mean, you can eat almost everything.

Sound: Lock click
Augustus
Let me in, I’m starving!
Wonka
Now, don’t get overexcited! Don’t lost your head, Augustus! We wouldn’t want anyone to lose that!
Wonka
Ladies and gentlemen…boys and girls…
Lights:
Act 1 Scene 19
(The chocolate room)
Lights:
Wonka
Close your eyes... Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three. Open your eyes.
Gpa Joe
Jumping Crocodiles, Charlie! Now we know who makes the chocolate.
Mr. Salt
I never saw anybody with an orange face before. Funnylooking people, aren’t they,
Wonka?
Mrs. Teevee
What are they doing there?
Wonka
It must be creaming and sugaring time.
Violet
Well they can’t be real people.
Wonka
Well of course they’re real people.
Mr. Salt
Stuff and nonsense.

Wonka
No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group
Oompa Loompas?
Wonka
From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee
Loompaland? There’s no such place.
Wonka
Excuse me, dear lady…
Mrs. Teevee
Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Wonka
Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little oompa loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, “Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and
Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids.”
Mr. Salt
Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Wonka
I’m sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca
Hey, daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt
All right Veruca, all right. I’ll get you one before the day is out.

Veruca
I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet
Can it, you nit!
Mrs. Gloop
What a disgusting, dirty river.
Mr. Salt
It’s industrial waste, that. You’ve ruined you watershed, Wonka. It’s polluted.
Wonka
It’s chocolate.
Veruca
That’s chocolate?!?
Charlie
That’s chocolate.
Violet
A chocolate river.
Gpa Joe
That’s the most fantastic thing I’ve ever seen.
Wonka
Ten thousand gallons an hour. And look at my waterfall. That’s the most important thing. It’s mixing my chocolate. It’s actually churning my chocolate. You know, no other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall. But it’s the only way if you want it just right…
Augustus
Mmmm…this stuff is terrific.
Charlie
Grandpa, look at Augustus.
Gpa Joe

Don’t worry, he can’t drink it all.
Mrs. Gloop
Augustus, sweetheart, save some room for later.
Wonka
Oh, uh, Augustus, please, don’t do that. My chocolate must never be touched by human hands. Plea…don’t do that! Don’t do that; you’re contaminating my entire river.
Please, I beg you, Augustus!
Lights:
(Augustus falls in…others scream)
Mike
Man overboard.
Wonka
My chocolate!
Augustus
Help!
Mrs. Gloop
Don’t just stand there; do something.
Wonka
Help. Police. Murder.
Gpa Joe
Quick Charlie, here !
Charlie
Quick, Augustus, grab this!
(Augustus tried to grab offered lollipop)
Mrs. Teevee
What…what’s happening to him?
Mr. Salt
It looks like he’s drowning.

Mrs. Gloop
Dive in! Save him!
Wonka
Too late.
Mrs. Gloop
Too late?
Wonka
Oh, he’s had it now; the suction’s got him.
Mr. Salt
What suction?
Mrs. Gloop
Augustus, come back. Where is he?
Veruca
How long is he going to stay down, Daddy?
Mrs. Gloop
He can’t swim.
Wonka
There’s no better time to learn.
Mr. Beauregarde
Call a plumber.
Gpa Joe
Well, what happens now?
Wonka
Oh, the pressure’ll get him out. Terrific pressure is building up behind the blockage.
Mr. Salt
I wonder how long it’s gonna take him to push through.
Wonka

The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.
Mrs. Gloop
This is terrible.
Charlie
He’ll never get out!
Mrs. Gloop
He’ll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!
Wonka
Impossible, my dear lady, that’s absurd! Unthinkable!
Mrs. Gloop
Why?
Wonka
Because that doesn’t go to the marshmallow room; it goes to the fudge room.
Mrs. Gloop
You terrible man.
Lights:
Wonka
(plays whistle) Take Mrs. Gloop straight to the fudge room, but look sharp! Or her little boy is liable to get poured into the boiler.
Mrs. Gloop
You’ve boiled him up, I know it!
Wonka
Nihil desperandum, dear lady. Across the desert lies the promised land. Goodbye,
Mrs. Gloop. Adieu! Auf wiedersehen! Gesundheit. Farewell.
Oompa Loompas
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I’ve go a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, doompadah dee

If you are wise you’ll listen to me
What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at getting terribly fat
What do you think will come of that
I don’t like the look of it
Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
If you’re not greedy you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa, doompadee do
Doompadee Doo
Lights:
Mr. Beauregarde
Hey, what kind of place you running here anyhow, Wonka?
Wonka
Uhhh…mesdames et messieurs, maintenant nous allons faire grand petit voyage par bateau. (Ladies and gentleman, now we are going for a great little boat trip)
Mr. Salt
What’s he talking about?
Wonka
Voulez-vous entrer le Wonkatania? (Do you want to come on the Wonkatania)
Lights:
(The Wonkatania floats down the river)
Projection: Beginning of tunnel
Charlie
Wow, what a boat.
Gpa Joe
Ohhh, looks good enough to eat.
Mr. Salt
That’s quite a nice little canoe you’ve got there, Wonka.

Wonka
All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by. All aboard, everybody.
Mr. Salt
Uh, ladies first, and that means Veruca.
Gpa Joe
If she’s a lady, I’m a Vermicious Knid.
Mr. Salt
You sure this thing’ll float, eh, Wonka?
Wonka
With your buoyancy, sir, rest assured.
Mrs. Teevee
She’s tres joli (very pretty), but is she seaworthy?
Wonka
Nothing to worry about, my dear lady. I take good care of my guests.
Mr. Beauregarde
Yeah, you took real good care o f that August kid over there, that’s for sure.
Wonka
Everybody aboard? You’re going to love this. Just love it.
Projection: Into the tunnel
Sound: boat ride music
Veruca
Hey, daddy, I want a boat like this. A beautiful paddle boat, that’s what I want.
Gpa Joe
What she wants is a good kick in the pants.
Mrs. Teevee
I think I’m gonna be seasick.
Wonka

Here, try one of these.
Mrs. Teevee
What are they?
Wonka
Rainbow drops. Suck ‘em and you can spit in seven different colors.
Violet
Spitting’s a dirty habit. (while picking her nose)
Wonka
I know a worse one.
Mr. Beauregarde
What business you in, Salt?
Mr. Salt
Nuts. Hang on, where are we going?
Mr. Beauregarde
I don’t know, but I don’t like the looks of that tunnel up there. Hey, Wonka, I want off!
Wonka
‘Round the world and home again, that’s the sailor’s way!
Act 1 Scene 20
(The tunnel)
Veruca
I don’t like this ride, daddy.
Wonka
Faster!
Mr. Salt
Wonka, do me a favor? Tell those people to stop paddling back there.
Wonka
Faster!

Mrs. Teevee
We’re going too fast!
Wonka
Faster! Faster!
Violet
We’re gonna sink, I know it!
Veruca
Why doesn’t he stop the boat?
Wonka
Faster!
Mr. Salt
Hang on, darling! Just close your eyes and hang on tight!
Mike
What’s happening?
Wonka
Faster!
Violet
What is this, a freak-out?
Mr. Beauregarde
Hey, this isn’t funny, Wonka!
Mr. Salt
You can’t possibly see where you’re going, Wonka!
Wonka
You’re right. I can’t.
Mike
Boy, what a great series this would make.
Mr. Salt

Wonka…
Charlie
This is kind of strange…
Gpa Joe
Yeah, strange, Charlie, but it’s fun! Ha ha!
Mike
This is terrific!
Mrs. Teevee
Ughhhhhh…
Mr. Salt
How much to get off the boat, Wonka?
Mrs. Teevee
Ughhh…I think I’m gonna be sick.
Mr. Salt
I can take a joke, but this has gone too far.
Mr. Beauregarde
Tell that little guy to tuen us around, Wonka!
Mrs. Teevee
Aaaaaa! Now I am gonna be sick!
Veruca
Save me, daddy!
Charlie
Grandpa!
Gpa Joe
It couldn’t be.
(A few screams)

Wonka
Which direction we are going
There’s no knowing where we’re rowing
Mr. Salt
Rowing…
Wonka
Or which way the river’s flowing
Is it raining
Is it snowing
Is a hurricane a-blowing
Bleh!
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes! The danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And they’re certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!
(Wonka screams)
Veruca
Oh, make him stop, Daddy!
Mr. Salt
Wonka, this has gone far enough!
Wonka
Quite right sir! Stop the boat!
Lights:
Sound: off
Projection: off
Lights:
Sound:

Act 2 Scene 1
(hallway outside inventing room)
Lights:
Wonka
We’re there.
Mrs. Teevee
Where?
Wonka
Here. A small step for mankind, but a giant step for us.
Charlie
Dairy cream…
Gpa Joe
Whipped cream…
Charlie
Coffee cream…
Gpa Joe
Vanilla cream…
Charlie and Gpa Joe
Hair cream?
Wonka
Meine Herrschaften, schenken Si emir ihre aufmerksamkeit. (my friends, please give me your attention)
Mrs. Teevee
That’s not French.
Wonka
She kommen jetzt in den interessantesten und gleichzeitig geheinsten raum meiner fabric. (you have now come to the most interesting and, at the same time, the most secret room of my factory.)

Mr. Salt
I can’t take much more of this.
Wonka
Meine Damen und Herren, der Inventing Room. (Ladies and gentlemen, the inventing room). Now remember, no messing about. No touching, no tasting, no telling.
Gpa Joe
No telling what?
Wonka
You see, all of my most secret inventions are cooking and simmering in here. Old
Slugworth would give his false teeth to get inside for just five minutes, so don’t touch a thing!
Lights:
Act 2 Scene 2
(Inventing room)
Lights:
Projection: Inventing room
Sound: machinery working
Gpa Joe
Inventing room? It looks more like a Turkish bath to me.
Charlie
Even if Slugworth did get in here, he couldn’t find anything.
Mr. Beauregarde
You got a garbage strike on here, Wonka?
Mrs. Teevee
Who does you cleaning up?
Mr. Salt
Shouldn’t you be wearing rubber gloves? You’ll have the health inspectors after you, you know that, don’t you.
Wonka

Invention, my dear friends, is ninetythree percent perspiration…six percent electricity…four percent evaportation…and two percent butterscotch ripple.
Mrs. Teevee
That’s a hundred and five percent.
Mr. Salt
Any good?
Wonka
Yes! Excuse me…Time is a precious thing. Never waste it.
Veruca
He’s absolutely bonkers.
Charlie
And that’s not bad.
Mike
(Eating something) Mmmm…Sound: explosion (explosion in Mike’s mouth knocks him backwards)
Mrs. Teevee
Mike!
Wonka
I told you not to, silly boy.
Mrs. Teevee
You’re teeth!
Mike
Boy, that’s great stuff.
Wonka
That’s exploding candy for your enemies. Great idea, isn’t it. Not ready yet, though, still too weak. Needs more gelignite.
Mr. Salt
What’s that for?

Wonka
Gives it a little kick.
Mr. Salt
Wonka? Butterscotch…butter gin…you’ve got something going on inside of here?
Wonka
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Aaa!
Violet
What’s the matter? Too hot, Mr. Wonka?
Wonka
Too cold….far too cold.
Mr. Salt
That’s gourmet cooking for you.
Sound: buzzer (Mr. B tries to see under the gobstopper sheet)
Wonka
No! Don’t. Please. Forgive me, but no one must look under there. This is the most secret machine in my entire factory. This is the one that’s really going to sizzle old
Slugworth.
Charlie
What’s it do?
Wonka
Would you like to see?
Charlie
Yeah.
Sound: machine starting up (Wonka pushed button)
Lights:
Charlie
But what’s it do?

Wonka
Can’t you see? It makes Everlasting Gobstoppers.
Violet
Did you say “Everlasting Gobstoppers”?
Wonka
That’s right. For children with very little pocket money. You can suck ‘em forever.
Veruca
I want an everlasting gobstopper.
Violet
Me too!
Mike
And me!
Wonka
Fantastic invention. Revolutionize the industry. You can suck ‘em and suck “em and suck ‘em, and they’ll never get any smaller. Never. At least I don’t think they do. A few more tests.
Mike
How do you make ‘em?
Wonka
I’m a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time. Who wants an Everlasting
Gobstopper?
Children
Ad lib me
Wonka
I can only give then to you if you solemnly swear to keep them for yourselves and never show them to another living soul as long as you all shall live. Agreed?
Lights:
Children
Agreed.

Wonka
Good. One for you, and one for you, and one for you.
Gpa Joe
Eh, what about Charlie?
Wonka
And one for Charlie.
Veruca
Hey, she’s got two. I want another one!
Violet
Stop squawking, you twit!
Wonka
Everybody has had one, and one is enough for anybody. Now come along. Now over here, if you’ll follow me, I have something rather special to show you.
Mr. Salt
Well, it’s special, all right. I only hope my Veruca doesn’t want one.
Mike
What a contraption.
Wonka
Isn’t se scrumptious? She’s my revolutionary, nonpollutionary mechanical wonder.
Now: button, button, who’s got the button?
Charlie
It’s over there.
Wonka
Here?
Charlie
Yeah.
Sound: another machine starting up
Lights:

Wonka
What you are witnessing, dear friends, is the most enormous miracle of the machine age: the creation of a confectionery giant! Finito!
Veruca
That’s all?
Wonka
That’s all? Don’t you know what this is?
Violet
By gum, it’s gum!
Wonka
It’s the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
Violet
What’s so fab about it?
Wonka
This little piece of gum is a three course dinner.
Mr. Salt
Bull.
Wonka
No, roast beef, but I haven’t got it quite right yet.
Violet
I don’t care.
Wonka
Oh, I wouldn’t do that. I really wouldn’t.
Violet
So long as it’s gum, then that’s for me.
Mr. Beauregarde
Violet, now don’t you do anything stupid.

Violet
(sighs)
Charlie
What’s it taste like?
Violet
Madness! It’s tomato soup! It’s hot and creamy. I can actually feel it running down my throat! It’s delicious.
Wonka
Stop, don’t…
Charlie
Why doesn’t she listen to Mr. Wonka?
Gpa Joe
Because, Charlie, she’s a nitwit.
Violet
And every chew gets better and better! Mmmm …this sure is great soup. Hey, second course is coming up! Roast beef and a baked potato! Mmmm.
Mr. Beauregarde
With sour cream? What’s for dessert, baby?
Violet
Dessert? Here it comes. Blueberry pie and cream. It’s the most marvelous blueberry pi e that I’ve ever tasted!
Lights:
Charlie
Look at her face!
Mr. Beauregarde
Holy Toledo, what’s happening to your face?
Violet
Cool it, Dad! Lemme finish.

Mr. Beauregarde
Yeah, but your face is turning blue! Violet, you’re turning violet, Violet!
Violet
What are you talking about?
Wonka
I told you I hadn’t got it quite right yet.
Projection fades out.
Mr. Beauregarde
You can say that again. Look what it’s done to my kid!
Wonka
It always goes wrong when we come to the dessert. Always.
Mr. Beauregarde
Violet, what are you doing now.
Violet
I feel funny.
Gpa Joe
I’m not surprised.
Violet
What’s happening?
Lights:
Wonka
You’re beginning to look like a blueberry.
Mr. Beauregarde
Somebody do something! Call a doctor!
Violet
Help! Help!
Wonka
It happens every time. They all become blueberries.

Mr. Beauregarde
You’ve really done it this time, haven’t you, Wonka. I’ll break you for this.
Wonka
Oh, well, I’ll get it right in the end. (plays whistle)
Mr. Beauregarde
We’ve got to let the air out of her quick!
Wonka
There’s no air in there.
Mr. Beauregarde
Hmmm?
Wonka
Would you fetch the young lady and take her down to the juicing room at once, please.
Mr. Beauregarde
What for?
Wonka
For squeezing. She has to be squeezed immediately before she explodes.
Mr. Beauregarde
Explodes?
Wonka
It’s a fairly simple operation.
Lights:
Prokjection: invention groom fades back in.
Oompa Loompas
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you (oo oo oo)
Oompa Loompa Doompadah Dee
If yo u are wise you’ll listen to me.
Gum chewing’s fine when it’s once in a while
It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile

But it’s repulsive, revolting, and wrong
Chewing and chewing all day long
The way that a cow does
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
Given good manners you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the oompa loompa doompadee do
Mr. Beauregarde
I’ll get even with you for this, Wonka, if it’s the last thing I ever do! I got a blueberry for a daughter…
Wonka
Where is fancy bred? In the heart, or in the head? Shall we roll on? Thank you. Well, well, well…two naughty, nasty little children gone. Three good, sweet little children left.
Hurry, please, long way to go yet.
Projection: blackout
Sound: none
Lights:
Act 2 Scene 3
(Fizzy laughing room)
Lights:
Wonka
Something very unusual in here. Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
Yet.
Charlie
What’s it making, Mr. Wonka?
Wonka
Fizzy laughing drinks. They fill you with gas, and the gas is so terrific it makes you laugh and laugh.
Veruca
Gosh!
Wonka

But I daren’t sell it yet. It’s still too powerful.
Mike
Come on, let us try some. Please?
Veruca
Oh, let us try some. Don’t be mean.
Wonka
No, no, no. Absolutely not. There’d be children having little accidents all over the place. COem along now; don’t hang about. You’re going to be wild about this next room.
Gpa Joe
Let’s take a drink, Charlie; nobody’s watching.
Charlie
Yeah.
Gpa Joe
A small one won’t hurt us. Mmmm, not bad. Well?
Charlie
Nothings happening.
Gpa Joe
You’re right, Charlie. I can’t understand WHYYY…oh,oh,oh I feel terribly strange…
Charlie
What do we do now, Grandpa?
Gpa Joe
I don’t know, Charlie, but Aahhh! Oh, oh, We’re in big trouble! Mr. Wonka isn’t gonna like this.
Charlie
We can’t stay in here laughing all day!
Gpa Joe
You’re right, Charlie, but—

Charlie
I think we should try to stop.
Gpa Joe
All right, Charlie, yes, yes let’s hold our breath.
Charlie
Ok Grandpa after 3. 1…2…3…
Charlie
It’s not working Grandpa! Hahahaha…
Gpa Joe
I know, Charlie. I, I, I don’t know what we should do.
Charlie
Knock, knock…
Gpa Joe
Who’s there?
Charlie
Leana
Gpa Joe
Leana who?
Charlie
Leana little closer and I’ll tell you
Gpa Joe
Okay, okay I got one…why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Charlie
I don’t know, why did the chewing gum cross the road Grandpa?
Gpa Joe
Because, because ohh…because it was stuck to the chickens foots. Haaaaa!
Charlie

Oh grandpa, haha. I’ve never laughed so much.
Gpa Joe
Oh, I know, it hurts…
Charlie
My ribs can’t take it…
Gpa Joe
I can’t stop! I can’t stop!
Charlie
What do we do?
Gpa Joe
I don’t know Charlie…I feel like I’m filling up with gas.
Charlie
Me too…
Gpa Joe
Help! Help!
Charlie
Help!
Gpa Joe
Mr. Wonka, please! Help us. Sound: fart. Oooo! Haha, that feels better. Quick,
Charlie, fart, fart! If you don’t you’ll explode.
Charlie
Help! I can’t! Help!
Gpa Joe
You’ve gotta fart Charlie.It’s the only way.
Sound: fart
Gpa Joe

‘Atta boy. Fart again. Sound: farts going back and forth ‘Atta boy, come on. Ahhh, that’s wonderful, Charlie. That was a good one. We’re gonna be all right now Charlie.
Good boy. You feeling ok? Come on, let’s catch up to the others.
Sound: one last fart
Lights:
Act 2 Scene 4
(The goose room)
Lights:
Sound: geese quacking
Projection: Geese laying eggs
Wonka
I know what you’re thinking: They can’t be doing what they’re doing. But they are.
They have to. I haven’t met the Oompa Loompa yet who could do it. These are the geese that lay the golden eggs. As you can see, they’re larger than ordinary geese.
As a matter of fact, they’re quadruple size geese which produce octuplet size eggs.
They’re laying overtime right now for Easter.
Mike
But Easter’s over!
Wonka
Ssshhh…They don’t know that. I’m trying to get ahead for next year.
Mr. Salt
What happens if they drop one of those eggs, Wonka?
Wonka
An omelet fit for a king, sir.
Veruca
Are they chocolate eggs?
Wonka
Golden chocolate eggs. That’s a great delicacy. But I wouldn’t get too close. The geese are very temperamental. That’s why we have the Eggdicator.
Mrs. Teevee

Eggdi-what?
Wonka
The Eggdicator. The Eggdicator can tell the difference between a good egg and a bad egg. If it’s a good egg, it’s shined up and shipped out all over the world. But if it’s a bad egg…down the chute.
Gpa Joe
It’s an educated Eggdicator.
Mr. Salt
It’s a lot of nonsense.
Wonka
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Veruca
Hey, Daddy, I want a golden goose.
Charlie
Here we go again.
Mr. Salt
All right, sweetheart, all right. Daddy’ll get you a golden goose as soon as we get home.
Veruca
No, I want one of those!
Mr. Salt
Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose?
Wonka
They’re not for sale.
Mr. Salt
Name your price.
Wonka
She can’t have one.

Veruca
Who says I can’t?
Mr. Salt
The man with the funny hat.
Veruca
I want one! I want a golden goose! I want my geese to lay gold eggs for Easter.
Mr. Salt
It will, sweetheart.
Veruca
At least a hundred a day.
Mr. Salt
Anything you say.
Veruca
And by the way…
Mr. Salt
What.
Veruca
I want a feast.
Mr. Salt
You ate before you came to the factory.
Veruca
I want a bean feast.
Mr. Salt
Huh, one of those.
Veruca
Cream buns and donuts and fruitcake with no nuts so good you could go nuts.

Mr. Salt
You can have all those things when you get home.
Veruca
No, now!
(runs in the goose room touches the Eggdicator and is found to be bad)
Sound: down the chute
Wonka
She was a bad egg.
Mr. Salt
Um…where’s she gone?
Wonka
Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt
The garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
Wonka
The furnace.
Mr. Salt
TO the furnace. She’ll be sizzled like a sausage.
Wonka
Well not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt
Inside the…? Hold on! Veruca, sweetheart, Daddy’s coming!
Sound: down the chute
Wonka
There’s gonna be a lot of garbage today.
Gpa Joe
Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie

What’s that?
Gpa Joe
Veruca went first.
Charlie
Mr. Wonka, they won’t really be burned in the furnace, will they?
Wonka
Hmmm…well, I think that furnace is lit only every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven’t they.
Projection: off geese on psychedelic
Oompa Loompas
Oompa Loompa Doompadee doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa Doompadah dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat
Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who’s to blame
The mother and the father
Oompa Loompa Doompadee dah
If you’re not spoiled then you will go far.
You will live in happiness too
Like the oompa loompa doompadee do
Wonka
I don’t understand it. The children are disappearing like rabbits. Well, we still have each other. Shall we press on?
Mrs. Teevee
Mr. Wonka, can’t we sit down for a minute? The pace is killing me.
Wonka
My dear lady, transportation has already been arranged.
Lights

Act 2 Scene 5
(Wonkavision room)
Lights
Sound electrical humming
Wonka
Wonkavision: my very latest and greatest invention.
Mike
It’s telelvision.
Wonka
Uh, it’s Wonkavision. Now I suppose you all know how ordinary television works. You photograph something and —
Mike
Sure, I do. You photograph something, and then the photograph is split up into millions of tiny pieces, and they go w hizzing through the air down to your TV set where they’re all put together again in the right order.
Wonka
You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak. So I said to myself, “If they can do it with a photograph, why can’t I do it with a bar of chocolate?” I shall now send this chocolate bar from one end of the room to the other. It has to be big because whenever you transmit something by television, it always ends up smaller on the other end. Googles on please. Lights, camera, action!
Lights:
Sound: laser? Louder electrical?
Mrs. Teevee
(screams)
Lights:
Sound: floating pieces
Wonka
You can remove your goggles.
Charlie

Where’s the chocolate?
Wonka
It’s flying over our heads in a million pieces. Now watch the screen. Here it comes.
There it is.
Sound: small pop
Mike
It’s just a picture.
Wonka
It’s real. It’s just gotten smaller, that’s all.
Charlie
It’s perfect.
Mrs. Teevee
It’s unbelievable.
Gpa Joe
It’s a miracle.
Mike
It’s a TV dinner. DO you think Slugworth would pay more for this?
Mrs. Teevee
Just keep your eyes open and mouth shut.
Wonka
It’s Wonkavision.
Gpa Joe
It could change the world.
Mike
Mr. Wonka, can you send other things? Not just chocolate, I mean?
Wonka
Anything you like.

Mike
What about
…people?
Wonka
People? Hmmm…I don’t really know. I suppose I could. Yes, I’m sure I could. I’m pretty sure I could. But it might have some messy results.
Mike
Look at me; I’m gonna be the first person in the world to be sent by television!
Mrs. Teevee
Mike, get away from that thing!
Wonka
Lights, camera, action!
Lights:
Sound: laser? Louder electrical?
Mrs. Teevee
Mike! Where are you?
Lights:
Gpa Joe
He’s up there, in a million pieces!
Mrs. Teevee
Mike? Why’s he taking so long?
Charlie
Million pieces take a long time to put together.
Mrs. Teevee
Oh, where are they?
Wonka
There’s definitely something coming through.
Mrs. Teevee
Is it Mike?

Wonka
Well it’s hard to tell, but I –
Sound: small pop
Mrs. Teevee
(wailing) Oooooh ho-hooooh!
Gpa Joe
Our little group is getting smaller by the minute.
Wonka
Well, fortunately small boys are extrememly springy and elastic,…so I think we’ll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do the trick.
Mrs. Teevee
Taffy…
Wonka
TO the taffy-pulling room. But be extremely careful.
Mrs. Teevee
T-t-taffy pull
—Oh, what’s he saying?
Wonka
No, no, I won’t hold you responsible.
Wonka
And now, my dearest lady, it’s time to say goodbye. No, no, don’t speak. For some moments in life there are no words. Run along now. Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow.
Oompa Loompas
Oompa loompa doompadee doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
What do you get from a glut of TV
A pain in the next and an I/Q/ of three
Why don’t you try simply reading a book

Or could you just not bear to look
You’ll get no
You’ll get no
You’ll get no
You’ll get no
You’ll get no commercials.
Oompa loompa doompadee dah
If you’re not greedy you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the oompa
Oompa loompa doompadee doo
Lights
Act 2 Scene 6
(Outside Willy Wonka’s office)
Lights:
Wonka
SO much to do, so much to do, invoices and bills, letters…I must answer that note from the queen.
Charlie
Mr. Wonka, what’s gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?
Wonka
My dear boy, I promise you they’ll be quite all right. When they leave here, they’ll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they’ll be a little but wiser for the wear. Anyway, don’t worry about them.
Gpa Joe
Eh, what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Wonka
Oh, yes, well, I hope you enjoyed yourselves. Excuse me for not showing you out.
Straight up the stairs. You’ll find the way. I’m terribly busy. Whole day wasted.
Goodbye to you both. Goodbye.
Charlie

What happened? Did we do something wrong?
Gpa Joe
I don’t know, Charlie. But I’m gonna find out. Mr. Wonka?
Wonka
I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
Gpa Joe
I just wanted to ask about the chocolate. The lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie.
When does he get it?
Wonka
He doesn’t.
Gpa Joe
Why not?
Wonka
Because he broke the rules.
Gpa Joe
What rules? We didn’t see any rules, did we, Charlie?
Wonka
Wrong, sir, wrong! Under Section 37 b of the contract signed by him it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if
– and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy: “I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privleges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et ce tera…fax mentis incendium loria culpum, et cetera, et cetera…memo bis punitor delicatum!” It’s all there, black and white, clear as crystal!
You stole Fizzy Laughing Drinks. You fell to the floor which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!
Gpa Joe
You’re a crook! You’re a cheat and a swindler! That’s what you are. How can you do a thing like this? Build up a little boy’s hopes and then smash all his dreams to pieces.
You’re an inhuman monster!
Wonka
I said Good Day!

Gpa Joe
Come on ,Charlie, let’s get out of here. I’ll get even with him if it’s the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wasn’t a Gobstopper, he’ll get one.
Charlie
Mr. Wonka…
Wonka
So shines a good deed in a weary world. Charlie…my boy…You won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would; I just knew you would. Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me, Come in, Mr. Wilkenson. Charlie, meet Mr.
Wilkenson.
Wilkenson
Pleasure.
Charlie
Slugworth!
Wonka
No, no, that’s not Slugworth. He works for me.
Charlie
For you?
Wonka
I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test. You won!
Gpa Joe
Won what?
Wonka
The jackpot, my dear sir, the grand and glorious jackpot.
Charlie
The chocolate?
Wonka

The chocolate, yes, the chocolate, but that’s just the beginning. We have to get on, we have to get one; we have so much time and so little to do. Strike that. Reverse it. This way please. We’ll take the Wonkavator. Lights Step in, Charlie. Grandpa Joe, sir.
This is the Great Glass Wonkavator.
Gpa Joe
It’s an elevator.
Wonka
It’s a Wonkavator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkavator can go sideways and slantways and longways and backways…
Charlie
And frontways?
Wonka
…and squareways and frontways and any other ways that you can think of. It can take you to any room in the whole factory just by pressing one of these buttons. Any of these buttons. Just press a button and ZING! You’re off. And up until now I’ve pressed them all…except one. This one. Go ahead, Charlie.
Charlie
Me? (pushes the button)
Lights
Sound
Projection
Wonka
There it goes. Hold on tight. I’m not exactly sure what’s going to happen. Faster, faster…if we don’t pick up enough speed, we’ll never get through.
Charlie
Get through what?
Wonka
Ah-ha!
Gpa Joe
You mean we’re going…?
Wonka

Up and out!
Gpa Joe
But this roof is made of glass. It’ll shatter into a thousand pieces. We’ll be cut to ribbons!
Wonka
Probably. Hold on, everybody. Here it comes.
Sound Glass smashing
Gpa Joe
You did it, Mr. Wonka, congratulations!
Wonka
Get up. Take a look.
Charlie
Grandpa, our town looks so pretty from up here.
Gpa Joe
Yeah, look over here, Charlie. I think I see out house.
Charlie
Wow!
Gpa Joe
It really looks beautiful.
Charlie
There’s my school, Grandpa.
Wonka
How dod you like the chocolate factory, Charlie?
Charlie
I think it’s the most wonderful place in the whole world.
Wonka

I’m very pleased to hear you say that because I’m giving it to you. That’s all right, isn’t it?
Gpa Joe
You’re giving Charlie the--?
Wonka
I can’t go on forever, and I don’t really want to try. So, who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Oompa Loompas for me? Not a grownup. A grownup would w ant to do everything his own way, not mine. That’s why I decided a long time ago I had to find a child. A very honest, loving child to whom I can tell all my most precious candy making secrets.
Charlie
And that’s why you sent out the Golden Tickets.
Wonka
That’s right. So the factory’s yours, Charlie; you can move in immediately.
Gpa Joe
And me?
Wonka
Absolutely.
Charlie
What happens to the rest of
—
Wonka
The whole family. I want you to bring them all. But Charlie…don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Charlie
What happened?
Wonka
He lived happily ever after.
Lights
Sound

Lights
Sound: songs from recent Charlie and the chocolate factory for bows
House
Props/Make up
Moving
Tech
Managers
Oompa Loompas
Parents
Charlie’s family –Gpa Joe
Kids –Charlie
Gpa Joe, Charlie, Wonka
Lights