WORKSHOP: The Paragraph
Divide the paragraph so that each person in the group (including the author) has a few sentences.
Working individually, revise each sentence:
1. Underline characters.
2. Circle actions (remember that not all verbs are actions and not all actions are verbs).
3. Do the First Six Words test. Bracket off the first 6 words of the sentence.
Look for these bad signs:
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Nominalizations
New information
Look for these good signs:
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A strong verb
A character
Old information
Rewrite each sentence to:
4. Express key characters as subjects. Express their key actions as verbs.
5. Put old information in the topic position at the beginning of the sentence.
As a group, combine your revisions into a paragraph and read it aloud. Is this paragraph
coherent? Cohesive? As a group, make further revisions, concentrating especially on
information flow (old to new). Return the new paragraph to the author.
Choose one sentence that required substantial revision to share with the rest of the class.