TOUGH TALKS:
TALKING TO YOUR CHILD IN THE WAKE OF TRAGEDY

Limit media coverage. Children believe what they see on TV, the internet, and in
print. Be careful to monitor media coverage so that children are not exposed to
overly graphic images that may create a heightened sense of fear.

Regain composure before talking to your child. You will likely feel shaken by the
event that has occurred. Children pick up on the mood, body language and
affect of adults. Be honest, but put forth a calm front.

Continue with routines. Children thrive on routine, especially in times of crisis.
When possible allow children to continue with their scheduled activities. This will
give them back a sense of control that may have been lost. Provide warning
and support for changes to their usual routines.

Review safety procedures. Remind children that the adults in their lives are doing
their best to keep them safe at home and at school. Rules and procedures are in
place and are followed to maintain a safe environment.

Encourage your child to be proactive. If children don’t feel safe they have the
right to speak up and ask for help. Remind them to report unsafe behavior that
they witness to a trusted adult. Ask children what you can do to help them feel
safe and listen to their responses.

Let their questions guide the conversation. Before sharing too much information,
listen to your child’s question. Clarify what they are asking and answer as
honestly and specifically as possible.

Validate their feelings. Allow them to express how they feel in an open and safe
environment.

Explain that we don’t know why others do hurtful things. We cannot easily explain
why someone would choose to hurt another. Remind children that it is important
to use words to express our emotions and to solve our problems by talking to
others rather than acting out in a violent manner.

Monitor your child’s behavior. Children may not openly discuss their concerns.
Watch for changes in behavior: sleep differences, clinginess, anger, and
withdrawal.

End your conversation on a positive note. Share something hopeful or positive
with your child to help ease their fears.

Seek outside help when necessary. Please do not hesitate to contact your
child’s school counselor for additional resources to help you and your child
through a difficult situation.