RM Nixon
Offered SUNY
Presidency
Vol M O M . *
BftSt.
in
VMM IftlWBMWCt Pfc" T(BI • ^PpBf
AMILroOMDA*
Benzedrine
Exorcises
Students
$ Faculty
Senile/ Worfo
Like Dog
"New Nixon
State University"
P£ESS.
by Blob Mayor
According to a secret memorandum marked "Kor Eyes Only," President Richard M. Nixon has been
offered the post of university prcsident, vacated by President
Benzedrine. The offer was made by
the Vice-President of Academic Affairs. Dr. lillitup Satyric.
Reliable sources within the
SUNYA administration have informed Kick that details of Mr. Nixon's transfer to Albany State arc
presently being worked out by White
House stuff and SUNYA dean.
Tricky Dick Kennel. Kennel has
reportedly made several trips to
Washington in recent weeks to iron
out some dispute over salary and
other fringe benefits.
Our sources claim that at present
several ureas have been agreed upon
by both sides. The university has
made plans lo change its name to the
New Nixon .State University. The
former President will receive a base
salary of $4(>5.KU5.34 annually and
I wo lice ramps for all university concerts. In addition the slate legislature
has agreed in advance to waive all
stale taxes on the President's earnings. Mr. Nixon has recently changed his official residency from San
Clcmcntc to San Qucnlon and
therefore is eligible for exemptions
on federal tax claims.
Kick-in-ihe-ASP has also learned
that the President will prohibit any
disclosure of official university
materia! to any committees on the'
grounds that such procedure would
set a bad precedent and may damage
future- university presidents from
making decisions without fear of
accountability.
The President will have a work
load of I hour per week lo allow him
time to finish his new hook, "My
Continuing Crisis l-'rom Whitticr
to Watergate." According to one
member of Salyric's staff, the ViccPresidenl believes that Mr. Nixon
will contribute much to the university and cany on the esteemed goals of
his predecessor.
Satyric also leels that lite former
U. S. President would typify a long
lasting philosophy in this university,
a philosophy Hull permits the
broadest interpretation of administrative flexibility within Ihe un-'
iversity guidelines.
Con '-k
Nwez F°q
Gzwvnzb —
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^rr-
The Satyric memo, back-dated to
November 4, 1972, a day before the
election, says, "Of course we arc fully
aware of your wife's many contributions to your administration.
We have secured a position as 'goodwill ambassador' for her at a yearly
salary of $I.(H). Naturally she will by (Jo-go Killa
have a discretionary fund of at least
Horror struck Albany State's
$500,000.
campus last week when King Kong
"Mrs. Nixon's responsibilities will ran amuk between the Quadsand the
include traveling to state universities buildings on the podium. Twenty
in various foreign countries to foster students died of laughter and many
a sense of unity among state- others ran around screaming. Kong
supported institutions of Higher squashed trees and bit off sections of
learning."
l.lvipgston lower.
White House uides admitted some
Kong created havoc when he
previous reluctance but since then climbed the Carillon, but then drew
have been guaranteed positions here some cheers when he ripped Ihe elecat New Nixon (formally SUNYA). tronic equipment out and stopped
We have been told by a high level the noon chimes. Ihe ape was
cabinet member that John Mitchell followed us he went his destructive
has already accepted the top position way by biology students with
of Campus Sccuritv.
microscopes, photographers,
Ronald Zicgler will become the streakers and Security men shouting
editor of the Tower Tribune, the "Stop! You arc trespassing!"
Albany Student Press, Unity Press, King Kong also caused damage
the Carrilon, CSEA Report, and all when he tripped over the Infirmary;
other written journals. H. R. Bob he fell with his head in the Power
Haldcmun is considering the posi- Plant's smokestack, which caused
tion of Dorm Director of 4 plus 2.
him to sneeze, which made a terrible
I here appears to be some hesitan- mess and smell and caused many
cy on Haldeman's purt, believing Dutch Quad residents to go lo their
that Ihe position was not high friends' rooms on other quads.
enough. However, university ofSecurity was finally able lo cap
ficials have assured him that 4 plus 2
was the highest place in the university. Maurice Stans is presently considering an oiler lo be chief fund
raiser for Telethon l°78.
Reaction lo the memo is expected
to raise lew eye brows here at
Albany. Student Association Presidenl Itaby lluey tierbcr, when told
about Richard Nixon's possible
slams here, responded, "Richard
who?" Side kick Marx-Lenin Davis
commented "Oh, goodie, goodie."
former Dean of Ihe College of
Arls and Sciences, I. Am
Tlamberger, was contacted on the
phone last nighi. When informed he
excused himself and put lour bullets
in his groin. His lust words were "If
you called collect please hang up the
receiver."
The memo by VP Satyric concludes, "Dick, we need a man here
who is not a spineless centipede,
someone who will fight for the
traditions of Ibis fine institution,
isomeiine who understuads Ihut being an administrator is a thankless
job in short, someone who understands that accountability is un
occupational hazard. With respect
and admiration,'FilL*
|by George Ubttor
Ihe President Benzedrine Administration today announced '.i<
plan that would have the effect of increasing the decision mak ingirole of.
Ihe Administration in University Af_ fairs. The plan calls for a phasing
oui of thc>'ntirc faculty and student
components from academic and
policy matters.
>
Academic Vice President Lillitup
Satyric said that the long term goal
of the plan would be to (eliminate
faculty and students from Ihe Un-'
iversily completely. "Students are
only a hinderancc lo the effective
running of this Unlvcrsjly," Satyric
said. "We would all be much belter
off if they simply didn't go here
anymore."
Assistant to the Executive Viee(who also happens to be
Injustice Davidson,
that "Administrators
knowxV ml is best forthis University.
I lie st i] lents arc inly a passing fad.
he and g*jsvcry four years,
i hey
Whin gin do lley> hjfcfc to tell us
run this itistiluRion. Alter
all."she said willl an arrogant glare,
"We're Administrators and Adulls,
they're only a bunch ol naked streaking adolescents."
In regards lo Ihe phase out of the
faculty, Davidson said, "Without
any prc-pubesccnl lecny-boppers to
waste their lime on. the Laculty will
become loo engrossed wilh nonessential matters, such us tenure and
job security and promotions. We
will have none of thai at this University."
.
k
, I lie reports by the two Administrators came after rumors
begun circulating about an impending j o i n t decision by Ihe
Student faculty-Semite Liaison
Committee to restructure Ihe University Senate, and work in coordinated activities concerning
academic mailers.
When approached on Ihe subject
ol a Studcnhf acuity coalition. Dean
lor the Division of Behavioral and
Social Sciences. Tricky Dick Kennel
said. "II proves what the good guys
in the Administration have been
warning lor years. II you give those
pansies in Ihe faculty any room lo
maneuver, they might decide to
think. One tiling we don't need
around hereisa hunch ofulert thinking faculty members. Thai wculd
uiiike my job ihal much tougher."
Iteaetion by Student Leaders was
not long in following. Student
Association wheelerulcr David Coin
-clmngci angrily declared Ihal SA
would call lor all students on
Dinner-only meal contracts lo cat
Lunch an hour earlier than usual.
Said Coin-changer, "I don'l think
ihe Administration knows who Ihey
are fooling around with."
Indeed, Lunch lines were in fact
longer al eleven this morning than
norma!.. Onc**dissidcnt voice heard
above Ihe angry Lunchtime crowd
was purported to have said, "Are
there any BLI's left Hurry?"
Sources have refused to comment
whether any planned protest of the
Administration's
annouitQtmcnl
will be forthcoming. Troisky-Lcnin
Davis, SA \¥|iftPresident said,
"Don'ti ever count out SA. We're
. ulwuys out there lighting lor out
students. Rah,I"
King Kong Crushes Crowds*ill;
Climbs Carillon, Causes
Catastrophic Calamities
lure the large beast and return it to
its estate in northern Westchester.
Kong is suspected'of'being an cxolficiul in New York State government: as he run about campus he
grunted "it's mine -I built it!"
The Student Association, President Benzedrine and' the, Infirmary
released a statement deploring
Kong's actions. It read in part: "The
Stale University of New York at
Albany is a respectable and honored
institution. We resent the implications of a large ape defiling the
physical aspects of the school and interfering with the education activities that arc in process here."
Student reactions were varied.
The hysterical students could not be
interviewed; one girl in Ten Brocck
Hall still refuses to get down off her
chair. Many students were "under
the influence" and were able lo
thoroughly enjoy the "show."
The official reaction from SUNY
Central consisted of some sighs, the!
shaking of headsand comments like:
i'olcuh."
Administration Gives No More $ toStJNYA
bjftiMLtavM
>; At you may well know, the State
University of New York Central Administration recently/released their
proposed budget for the upcoming
fiscal! year, the budget, although it
provided funds for the extension and
improvement1] of many State campuses, granted nomoniesifor the expansion of the Albany campus.
of the State University system by
overloading the other SUNY schools
with incoming freshmen who had
originally planned to attend Albany.
,
, t
The 8:1 rejection, rate that Admissions officers had previously
been instructed to follow for new
students has, as a result, been changed toapproximatelyftOOO.'li'This will
allow only about 22 newstudentsto
be admitted toSUNY Albany for the
upcoming academic year.
. SUNYA authorities were grieved
by what they felt was "a gross injustice and a lost of dignity on the
part of Albany staff and students."
In responding to the Central Administration's claim that Albany
by Mario Puko
state has achieved the status of a
The 1974 Tell-a-Don was held
"mature" campus , the SUNYA
yesterday, April I, in theCampesino
brass cited State Dormitory
Ballroom. Members of the Family
Authority statistics on studentwent through the audience with.
incurred theft and vandalism for
hands outstretched asking for
each of the Albany Quads.
money to aid underprivileged
However no official action was
members of the organization who
'taken in the matter until Central
heed a place to get away for a short
Council, while waiting for a quorom
stay.
last week, decided to protest the
The contributions came in surbudget's provisions (or lack of) lor
prisingly easily as Tell-a-Don
Albany. They have instructed the
workers patrolled the Ballroom
Admissions Office here to drastically
making clear their desire to help
reduce the number of new and
their fellows.
transfer students admitted to
On entering the- Ballroom,
SUNYA for the 74-75 school year.
audience members were stamped on
Council felt that this move would
the hand with "Make me an offer I
not only alleviate some of the'over- . can't refuse."
:
. .
...
•" •
rjmn.
The Tell-a-Don workers all wore
crowded conditions here due to
the same uniform—light, striped
physical plant limitations, but | it
suits, black shirts and white ties.
would also sufficiently spile the rest
The SUNYA Administration has
not commented thusfar on Council's
move, but' , h e Inter-Fraternity
Council has expressed concern
about" not having a real Freshman
Class next year from which '• individual frats could recruit new
"brothers." Central Council has
since assured the Greeks that all 22
students admitted in the Fall will be
chosen:., on the basis of their
predisposition lor fraternity or
sorority life.
>»
Tell-a-Don Termed "Stupendo
They carried long, metal tubes with
handles, apparently some kind of
contributionary mechanism.
Some fat weatherwoman who
used to work with Frank Sinatra
before his seventh retirement and her
cunine bodyguard named Mucho
appeared. Bina Georgina, the
weatherwoman, got her start when
(heir mothers were making lasagna
together.
The organization's gambling experts, who put the odds of success at
4:2, also produced much money.
They also sang the theme song "Let's
be Amici," during the sing-sing in
front of the Albany Vice Squad.
They received money in the form
of markers from many, amounting
to a total of $13 million bananas, to
which Bina Georgina is allergic.
Ml
Mill
MMfMIMMIM
Don't forget to order your CRAPS AND GROANS.
Order forms are available in the Bookstore.
Please remember to have yourself measured for
your craps!
!
AWL BENNY STAID SIN EMMA
WHAT'S UP,
DOCK
SUBMARINE
I- HISBLK.I.ANDIGR) The high-prince Umhangoof the East African nation
of Erisbeeland has dealt a severe blow to himself and future leaders of ihut
country. Last night, during the traditional dunce of the melons, the nude Urnhango tripped over u lurgc cusubu, lunding on his frontmost extremity.
Needless lo say. ill! hopes of Umhango fathering an heir to his future throne
were crushed.
LOS ANGELES (GR)'folic Fields was caught streaking across a downtown
street today, making her the first person to be arrested for indecent overexposure,
DISNEY WORLD (Git) three Walt Disney stars have announced plans lo
sue Walt Disney Production, Inc. this spring, lianihi has a SI.2 million sun
pending, claiming that he was "forced " as a youngster to perform in a stag
film. Ms. Minnie Mouse has demanded u bigger cut ol the cheese. Finally.
DonaldDuck feels that the fact that he was represented as an "incoherent
idiot" in his films has shuttered his political career.
TRANSCENDENTAL
CONSTIPATION
Trie TBUe STORY O f Trie TITfTNIC
I
WASHINGTON, D.C. (APE)-Today President Richard M. Nixon was
voted the first recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for Secrecy.
CAPE KENNEDY (HPI)—Commander Neil Headstrong has announced
plans to be the first lunar streaker.
DEI ROM' (PU)—There was a large dope bust at the Detroit Lion's football
training camp this afternoon. The large dope is Alex Karras, and the sculpier
is unknown.
SCHENECTACY (CIA)—A three-year-old research project revealed today
I hut Ucnesscc'Beer is piped in from a Vermont cesspool.
.ll'OLAN D(IOU)--A47-year-old research project revealed today that there
lire indeed two sexes!
/
0 1 TEH SI.OBBOVI A (FBI)—Li'l Abncr, in his first official act as mayor of
Slobbovia. today signed a new law making I plus I equal 3. Mayor Abncr
claims that, under the new law. by dealing with other countries Slobbovia
will soon own all of the world's currency.
W ASHIM, I ON, D.C. (AFL)—President Nixon was seen streaking across
Ihc White House lawn early this afternoon. His only words on the subject
were "Lei me make one thin/; perfectly clcur."
CALIFORNIA (USC)—Tommy Ncwsom and Ed Sullivan were named cowinners of Forest Lawn's "Living Death" award today.
MAKINEI.AND (BU)-Katie Killjoy, the little girl from the "Flipper" I V
series, announced plans lo marry the large dolphin today. Her parents were
not surprised, saying that they had expected the move tuna or later.
HARRISBURG<PA.)Pcnnsytvuniu enacted an ami-streaking law ycslerdiu.
Allnppichcndcdslreakcrswillbc forced lo watch ten duys of continuous
showings of the lulest porno films us a deterrent to their compulsion to run in
(he nude. IF the porno films don'l turn them off to nudity, Totie Fields will he
on hand t" streak around while Ihc offender is strapped in a chair. Then the
offender will be run out of town on a rail, turredj'cathercd, and his clothes
confiscated. Second offenders will receive an additional $10.00 line lor indecent exposure.
A source says the FBI, CIA, and Executive Branch of the Federal government will reject any applicant who has a streaking record. These agencies arc
involved in keeping things covered up, and are not interested in anyone who
would expose anything.
PEKING (AP) The price of beans in this nation was seen dropping to un all
time low ol 3 yen per bushel. Americans here arc disinterested, howevci
I hey arc asking "What docs this have to do with the price of pens in the
U.S.'.'"
FOUL-IT flJNY BOOKTOK
YELLO
Sun-Yeh Pirg Combats Evil
Bills Hopped Over at Kangaroo Council
by Roberto Jordano
Kangaroo Council met last
Wednesday night for what promised
to he the very last lime in its long, ignoble career. Not one bill was passed
ill the Wednesday session, which
culminated seven hours of intense
debate over the lime that Council
should adjourn.
Before the Councilmenibers. iwo
hills dealing with permanent student
representation lo all academic committees, one hill concerning banning
nil hand guns on campus, and one
p r o p o s a l lo make the Administration directly accountable to
student feedback were tabled for the
first meeting in September.
Within 45 minutes the kegs were
drained, and Council recommenced
the meeting.
I he Kangaroo Council had decided in its previous meelinglo conduct
the meeting in reverse order, in the
It): All S.II.N.Y.A. Employees
F R O M ; I'crsonnel Office
RE: SIANDARD PROCEDURE
Ol INSTRUCTIONS IN THE
I V I M Ol- DEATH Ol- AN
EMPLOYEE
It has come lo the attention of this
Office thai many employees are dying on the job, for apparently no
good reason at all. Furthermore
these same employees are refusing to
fall ovei alter they are dead.
1:1 IPC UVEAS Ol- NOVEMBER
22.1971 '
Any employee found silting after
he or she has died will be dropped
from payroll at once.
II alter several hours has passed it
is noticed thai un employee has not
hope of accomplishing more. Huts,
the first words out of l.ongslreet's
mouth were. "The meeting is adjourned." By the time the Council
realized the mistake, the serious
mood thai the Hcinckin had imposed had begun to diminish.
An incident threatened to disrupt
the harmonious relations between
Council members, as one member
from Dutch Quad accused ViceChairperson Charlie Bowels ol lapping the kegs incorrectly. "Shit, the
whole thing'll be full of foam," the
Councilman was purported to have
1
said.
for distributing beer to students
without checking proof. Security
had p r e v i o u s l y
threatened
l.ongstrecl about any such action,
but l.ongstrecl obviously decided lo
brave Security's threats and go
ahead with his plans to drown the
meeting In the golden bubbly brew.
Sis Councihncmbcrs were earned
oil in stretchers by Infirmary personnel alter complaining thai they
thought the room was "spinning
around really fast."
Director of the Infiimily. Janet
Hooker, said, "1 heir livers won't he
thirteen members of the Council hcnledjiii' about three months, it
were impeached alter five minutes' shows you how these poor students
discussion for allegedly having a were led from the paths of
righteousness and strayed toward
perfect attendance record.
The decision to bring beer tojjj^, the course ol sin. I think it's a shockmeeting was made by Longstreet mg disgrace." she said as she finished
alter serious deliberation, as he was her aller-ltiuch martini.
laced with possible imprisonment
In other business. Council didn't
accomplish any.
moved or changed position, the im
mediate supervisor will invest igalebecause of highly sensitive
nature ol our employees and the
resemblance bet ween death und their
natural working altitude, this investigation will hcmudcquictly sous
IO not disturb the employee if he or by The Way
In a rare departure from usual
she is sleeping.
II some doubt persists as to the ac- procedure. SA Controller Bob
tual condition ol the employee, ex- Counteract froze Ihc entire SA
lend a paycheck in the general direc- budget, and diverted il to the
tion of I be employee. Il'thc employee purchase ol Waverly Place.
does not leach for it. it may he Counteract, who is presently
residing in Waverly Place, and serreasonably assumed that the person
is dead. (Note: In some instances the ving as caretaker lor a weekly salary
inslinclisso great, that a spasmodic ol $100 plus rent, wits heard 10
remark that he was "just a romanclutch action may occur, DO NOT
tic."
LEI I HIS FOOL YOU)
t
by Inquisitor
Sun-Yen Pirg. u ChineseAmerican student ut Albany Slate
released a delai led study of area utility prices compiled by himself and a
group of researchers.
Pirg charged New York "Belle"
with monopolistic practices and
price fixing. Said Pirg. "Every
telephone on this campus without
exception is charging the exact same
rate for phone culls, which we ingeniously computed to he ten cents
per message unit." Not only thai.
Pirg added, hut the study indicates
that that same rale is charged lo
every phone in the entire Albuny11 o\-Schenectady area.
I his. Pirg said, is an ob\ ions example ol monopolistic price-fixing.
"I can't undcrstandtthy Ihc Public
Sen ice Commission hasn'l caught
this helore. Reports have it I lull they
have hecu conducting this blatantly
illegal activity lor years."
Comments hy S. Y. I el executives
ttcre not difficult in obtaining.
"What the hell is wrong with this
guy'.'" asked one official, who requested to remain unnamed.
"What the hell is wrong with this
guy?" another unnamed Hell lei official said. "Jesus." he said. "You
leach them Kung-fu and they think
they're Don Quixote."
The strongest words toward the
jlisl-rcleused study came from Company Chairman ol the Board, who
exhorted, "What the hell is wrong
with this guy'.'"
Sun-Ych Pirg has released a few
other surveys recently. In a comprehensive review of SUNYA'.s dining halls the Chinese Public research
wonder louud lanlasiic differences
in food quantity, quality, form,
shape, age. texture, taste, smell,
appearance, and clarity Ironi hall lo
APR,L2
L C 12
m
FIVE SLEAZY
LEASES
Ih DGPTH PfcOB€ Qf rlLMNV
LrWDLOWK
NEWS PAGE THE SECOND
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
As taught by Mahairilhi Maheosh Exlax
LECTURE
APRIL 1
8:30 P M
LC26
lioustitith oj years man im searched Ms universe. Not only ilie physical realities, hut his own senses
<n well, SUNYA, where the transfer of information creates a hmisfor Intelligent existence, is part ttftltir
<mc\t among the stars. Ihc mult ton he fotiml: the meaniim ol existence is within onrjjrasii.
JULY 1, 1953
AUGUST 19, 1955
u
1
u m i u a d J as-'-o » -"
Guam iji'uu ic. i aau 'ivv ,-v
,v;.i.
, i , i . ._ J •
In the future.
pirg and Irs
researchers plan to compare toilet
paper lest arcs ahout the campus and
survey the infirmaries, bookstores
and gyms at SUNYA. The toilet
paper, siiru'N is alreadv rolling: a
\j / o -ji
in
•
computer has helped them establish
live categories: Splintering. Still.
UlililliTllin. I tisli and Loose.
'. Pile wants to investigate the
Kgallllcs'unV'mariiuana price survey: I s iv s'fjij.^j'e want to try lo
reduce rheseuhsurd thiny-to-eighiy
per cent markups that many dealers
scent lo think are reasonable." Indeed, markups ol as much as .lull',
ha\c been reported.
Pirg did not comment on the
rumors that he and his assistants
would he comparing mall in. It has
been said thill SUNYA giulfili is less
interesting, shorter, ami simply less
common that thai ol other vincricnn
universities.
buildings.
Ibis action comes ill the
reawakening ol the two-year
presidency of Michael Armpit. Armpit. Iruslralcd hy his inability to
build vast edifices in Ihc manner ol
former Governor
Nillson
Rockefeller, when defeated in his
attempt to convert the Gym into a
field House and convert the tennis
courts into extended grandstands,
decided to I urn his energies lo the acquisition ol already constructed
I
1
Waterbury's dining hall. Pirg discovered, gave un uvcrage of 24
strands of spaghetti averagings/) inches each while Dutch Quad dining
room gave IJ slrands averaging 7.5
inches! Sun-Yeh did say that Ihc
strands on Dutch hud u grcuter
diameter; neither, however: were as
lilt as (he ones on Slate. The study
also showed thai Colonial und
Bruhiichcr averaged IMS rut hairs f
per "Mr, Albany Student" normal
meal, while the newer Indian averaged just under a thousand. ••"Uiuci
Counteract Buys Waverly Place
7=30 PM
TH€ UNTOLD HISTORY Of WrfLT'9
Students may have noticed SunYeh and his" assistants roaming
about their dining room, measuring
chicken hones und noticing what
color the bread turns when they
dropped certain chemicals on it. Pirg
was able to obtain a Carbon-14
dating processing machine to determine how long certain desserts hud
been on the shelves.
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
Once again, he was thwarted in his
attempts to buy the old l> & II
Building downtown, bin lell some
sattsiaction in persuading his friend.
Ernie, lo add that property to the
already large State Unuersih ol
New York.
Sources in SA thai w ere i|uiic high
predicted the moving ol SA olfices
from ihc Campus Ccntet to Waver!)
Place. " I hat way." the source
mumbled. "Ihey could he first on line
when ihey sell the tickets to I he Boh
Dylan conceit next month." lie then
looked terribly upset and said thai it
wasn scctei and ollored this reporter
two tickets lo keep silent on this.
Iht\ rcfhirttr aum'tl.
With the deparune ol the Student
Association troin the Campus
•Center, il is expected thai the
Albany Student Press will niovcinio
room .Hh. vacating rooms .12.* and
.l.lh. keeping rooms .1.14 as the West
Wing Brunch, W.SUA will gel .12.1
and i l l would go lo the Intelnational Students Association.
Ol course, operation without any
money will call lor austerity
measures on the pari of the various
SA groups.
I he Homing Club is selling ils
bout, and buying a poster of the
Cnrrihheiin; the Skydiving Club will
have skygazing sessions in the formal gardens; WSUA will retrieve all
used cans und string from ihc SUNY
peach cartons discarded by FSA
(eventually any suite will be able lu
hook in. in mono or stereo); and the
Albany Student Press will continue
operations on a special ingenious
buffer fund created bv .lol'f Regersin
1972.
NEWS PAGE THE THIRD
New
Bill Would Chop Mandatory Taxes
A, and What the Hell Am I Doing Here?"
A new second field has been
proposed by Dr. Ralph Kramdon of
the SUNYA but line. "SUNYA and
what the hell am I doing here?" was
proposed to University College to insure sanity among the students
attending as, Dr. Kramdon put it, "a
goddamn pressure cooker." Kramdon contends that student* are not
ready for college life until after they
have graduated and that his set of
new courses will help students take
full advantage of theSUN Y A system
and community
Courses . in the field range from
freshman to senior level and are alll
newly created to help the student
Your first
condome
should be a
Harvard
Condome...
»
No on* Mas to b* only half
salt whan going all the way.
Harvard Condomta a r t
tatted In Ida (laid and in tha
laboratory lor 1,000 hours
balora tnay art allowed to ba
•old to the public. Thoaa
toralgn brandt may help prevent tha spread of venereal
diaaaaa, but it la a little
known (act thai the foreign
condomea cause a 52%
pregnancy rate.That makes
as much sense as Hipping a
coin before sex at a meai.t ol
contraception. II you Hip a
coin instead ol tax, maybe.
Qui Before is III advised.
Thouaanda ol our satisfied
customers will testily (on requett) to our confidentiality.
You need never tear that
someone will catch you
r e c e i v i n g a condome
through the mall. They are
mailed in a plain brown box,
wrapped In a plain brown
wrapper in a plain brown
enveloi
make hit way from the "I mitt Mommy" syndrome to the "Oh God, it's
senior year and soon Till have to
work." crisis.
:
The courses are not listed in the
74-75 course description catalog,Iso
upon Dr. Norton's request, here they
are:
7«<=
•*''
—SUNYA 100 How not to act Ukt
the freshman you arr.An informative lecture course dealing with
the triclt and tribulations of
Freshman life arid how to adjust to
them. Selected topics for the subject
include; "How toavoidlooking upat
the tall tower when you walk by it,".
"How to look like you know where
you're going" (Including the famous
Indian-Dutch-Colonial-State
history method), "How to adjust to
University food and the use of your
dormitory toilet," "How to live in a
triple lor a year without meeting
your roc-mates," and "How to drop
out of school and work for food service for four years and still get into
law school."
Three credits. One fun-filled lecture per week, taught by the R.A.
staff.
."—SUNYA 150 How to drop
Biology. Chemistry and Calculus
anil still convince your father that
you're going to Med. school. A
useful course for the 950 out of 1000
pre-med students who come to
Albany in September with dreams of
stethoscopes and fat wallets and
leave in December with thoughts of
taking up the clarinet.
Two credits, taught by Rulus
"Have a drop card" Firefly.
-SUNYA
200
Campus
Happenings anil how to wail on line.
From yourfirstthree day beer line to
your last four week book line, this
course teaches you how to deal with
this common problem, emphasizing
the "sneaking in the side door technique," the "I just want to get to the
Ratskcllar" method und the "How
do you know the Albany Narc squad
is coming to the concert" favorite.
One credit, including a lab course
in Pre- Registration Technique,
taught by Hugo "Between
the
knees" Hackenbush.
-SUNYA 33 Fraternities and
Sororities—how n> join them, how
to avoid them, and how to makefun
of them. A-goodVourse for students
without Thursday night classes, it
brings students on field trips to beer
blasts, pajama parties, and other
mixer events. Observe rushee whippings, the daily morning hangovers,
and learn how to call your roomate
"Brother" without laughing.
Two credits and a six pack of Bud,
taught by Joe "Rah, rah sis boom
bah" College.
- S U N Y A 315 Drug use at
Albany—How to avoid the pusher
man. how to find the pusher man,
and how to gel the right price. A
casual , low key course that begins
where you're high school health class
left off.
Learn how to fake being stoned by
the giggle, munchie technique, or
learn how to fake being straight by
the intellectual rap method. This
course has a required cliche list, including such famous lingo as "Hey
man, wanna do a number,". "Gee
Mr. Policeman, this dope isn't mine,
I'm holding it for a friend", and
"Goddamn the pusher man." If
you've ever wondered who was burning the leaves during Yellow Submarine or if you think it is still
September, this course is lor you.
Caught by whats his name,
whenever it meets.
- S U N Y A 395 Sex at SUNYA
anil how to adjust to finding a bra in
your laundry load. Hailed as one of
the only useful courses at the University, this is a must1 for any person
who is a member of the 'two major
sexcs.Taught in Ihe field, selected
' topics include "How to penny
yourself into your room,". "How to
attract seductive women without
hair on you chest,". "How to attract
seductive men without hair on your
chest,". "The key to continuing a
sexual relationship during the
summer without resorting to the
buck scat," and "How to sleep in a
water bed without having wet
dreams."
Taught nightly by Edward "What
do you mean they're not good if you
keep them in your wallet" Goodyear.
--SUNYA
410
Albany
Architecture—How to tell ihe
differences between Ihe quads
without smelling. An exciting
course,filledwith fun and garnet for
all its students, with emphasis on
symmetrical pine tree growing, the
primary colors of cement and an intensive study of the history of phallic
symbol architecture.
Every E you find lit up on the
podium at night is worth one credit.
Taught as often as the students can
stomach it, by stoned Eddie "Mirror
Mind" Durrell.
SUNYA 435 Your senior year—
"liod, I'm graduating." A wonderful
collection of seminars with a host of
great speakers, including exgovernor Nillson Rockefeller lecturing on "How to get a head," and
Hohn Lcnnon, talking on "How to
become a head." Universal copout
techniques arc taught, everything
from "Grad school, what wIseT to
"Man, I gotta see this country" and
U
seHiunir or CLOSES
urn ICt
0TH III
(JTH 101
0TH III,
0TH iac
DTK in
DTK in
0TH I "
0TH 100
DTK 110
DIM jot
0TH 100
01* 110
OTH 110
OTH 110
OTH H i
|
I[
DEFT, AK0
C M . HO.
i
I
1
i
I
I
I
I
7"!
culminating in "Bowery, here I
come." Taught whenever you need it
(and you know you dol) by Robinson Crusoe. 0 credits (who needs
them, anyway!)
- S U N Y A 451 Suicide at
SUN YA—To eat your dinner in ihe
dining hall and die of rat poisoning
or not to eat anddie ofbroken canilv
machines. Recommended for all law
and med school rejections, we try to
get into the creative art of suicide.
Selected techniques include eating
concrete (low rises preferred), slitting your wrist with an electric
shaver, hanging yourself with your
roommates jock strap, and diving oil
,thc tower without creating a mess.
You won't need credits where you're
going. Taught by Marilyn Monroe.
Ernest Hemingway and Adolf
Hitler. (Sec accompanying list ol
curricula).
COURSE 11 n i l
i
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ORAL TCSMIOUIS
PLOTS I.II
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H«H |0I
H«H 110
HSH III
HOH ill
H«H 110
HiH 130
H6H lie
HSH 111
HOH IRC
H0H 111
HCH IR1
H«H i n
HCH U S
HSH 110
H«H |l|
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HIH IIS
HIH 100
HIH 10S
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HIH 100
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BRLIRHTINE
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SIRtRNSIETT
HRRI|RIE»AHRTY
01 VOICE
IHTIO HITH OTH
HVE««HLI.«TRTH
IIHIO
H0THIHIHESS
i
A Jointing ©surnament
Sfo-knfglft on $e (Pltofootballfieto
r
-cut along u id linekaa
%' I haw rnougli social
cm. inusnesstoi m ilownuniiw
,i.ilion boon, Hush me
.Jlurvani' < imlunwn'"
intrants must gupplg own armor.
HinnerB:
will mettie instant bninJ|tijrjou into tye ftugal (Drier of BurrrU &tone.
ttOBCTB:
.1 color.
1AP.VARD TANIPOONI
lAND CONDOME
lUtirvurd
mill receiue free burial heJjlno (flbaptl Mount hue will mrtifu next of kin).
Aomtfloton:
noblM $1.00
serb $3.50
VufrtaftttuatB mill be ocrueo.
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
Of Public Restrooms
Governor Malcnmc Wilson signed into law last week an act making it
illegal to have scparatcmale/female
classificatior names on rcslroom
doors in public buildings. The act is
intended to reduce discrimination,
stereotyping ol sex roles, and the
degradation of women and men.
hiological reasons why the
reslrooms must be labeled by sex.
« Asked whether this and other recent laws were going just a hit loo
much nveboard on ending sexistdis-.
crimination, the bill's sponsor. Sen.
Hugh Mnnitiirian said he hoped to
A'nd "the senseless, ancient archiypal
and inferior positionof women and
men in society, blah. blah, clc." and
he wanls loo "give them equality at
lust." "Hcsidcs." he said, "il will he
more fun. You never know who is
going to walk in on you."
(l-'NS) live world may soon lace a
plcnitudinous abundance ol shortages not lo mention a lot ol them,
l o r one I lung, there may be a decline
in the supply of Newt's tails from
I'cru. So what, you may ask. Well, it
seems there might be world-wide
repercussions, since the green, scaly
tails are Mao Ise lung's favorite
dish. China has threatened to annex
South America lo preserve a newt
supply for Mao,
How about this a shortage of
nipples lor baby bottles is expected
soon. This may cause a reversion to '
more primitive feedings methods lor
babies, which would result in indecent exposure charges if the baby is
led in public.
I'm litis in your pipe and smoke
il A shortage is coming which will
affect all our daily lives. The world
production is falling off in gaseous
4.9 dimethyl triethyl monocarbo
hydramide-7. I his chemical is
crucial in lhe manufacture of lhe
well-known monochloio-hepcthylirihorosylicate compounds, used in
making toothpicks, and could leave
lhe world without a supply ol the
popular by-product hexadiexo
nonyl-5.3 formal formate/ G .91120.
No more, soda pop.
Keady for another shortage?
I here will be a lack of newsprint
s o o n , as everyone k n o w s .
Newspapers will have to condense
the news, lhe limes plans to omit all
verbs .from its pages in order to
save space.
-
Your Off-Campus Apartment
Cramped?
You
didn't
think
CAPITOL
RETORT
this
N A T I O N A L WILDLIVI
WKtCK,didyou? You were right,it
wasn't. You can celebrate it anyway
by living wildly this week.
He May Be
Forced To
Quit Soon
(FNS) In a total reversal of hit
previous position. President Nixon
has admitted that it is conceivable
that he may be forced to quit-drinking alcohol: He said his doctor
ordered him to. Headded that he has
been hitting the bottle fairly hard
lately lor some reason. This may explain his recurrent mistakes in using
wrong words, such as when in a
broadcast he said "foreign enemy"
instead of "foreign energy" and his
constantly saying we must "preserve
the office ol the Presidency" when he
reully means "save my neck."
NiTon Guilt In Watergate Proved
Beyond Doubt By ASP Reporter
by By Misameric, Ann I'ye
Dan Kathcr, former ASP correspondent in Washington, has
I ottnd concrete evidence of President
Nixon's guilt in the Watergate
coverup.
Posing as a papcr-shredder
maintenance man on call to lubricate
the 15.000-document capapcily
shredder machine, he pieced
logcthcra photograph taken by Julie
fjsenhower which clearly shows
President /Nixon at work erasing the
I'iUfJttHSovi^jnin"'0 segment on a
lape. (See photo)
In Nixon's left hand is a powerful
electromagnet which has a defective
switch. Kathcr says this explains
why the tape erasure was the result of
several erasures, as experts have
found, and it certainly was no aceideni.
lhe document in Ihe photo has
Seen identified as an order aulhorl/.ing lite "plumbers." and ASP
Graphologisl Manucll Uscritl has
confirmed that Ihe signature on il
belongs lo Ihe President. Also, the
dale on Ihe President's, calendar
watch indicates thai he did know
about the Watergate, coverup before
his March 21 meeting with
John
Dean,
In a related excursion through
While House Shreds. Kather found
another photo showing President
Nixon aboard Air force I flying to
his retreat at Camp David. On his
window' is taped a chart of voice
patterns. I he ASP Audiologisl has
determined that the word lhal the
President is pointing lo is "coverup."
Since the chart is dated March 15.
that contradicts the President's oftrepealed story of knowing nothing.
The reason that the chart was taped
to the window. White House
Sources report, is that the President
strongly feared being seen from the
outside. I he president felt lhal there
would be no way for outsiders to see
lhe churl that way. This was Hon
Ziegler's lirsi Al- I photo, contrary
lo popular belief
In lhe way of authentication, lirsi
Kathcr checked lhe flight logol Air
force (incrfic compared that with
Ihe I idc fables for the l.os Angeles
a r e a . He checked with the
President's wardrobe log. and found
out lhal Ihe only time lhal lhe sun
could have been at lhal angle, from
lhal part ol the sky. reflected from
lite Pacific Ocean at lhal particular
state of I idc. with Ihe President
wearing Ihat jacket and coal (see
lap), with the stale ollhe Presidenl's
hairline and jaw tension, would' he
right before his August ISannouncemeni.
Copies ol Today's Kick In I he Asp
are being lorwarded lo Cong.
Kodino, Sens, lirvin and linker.
Judge Silica and Iho lhe manager ol
lhe Watergate hotel, (Alter the
break-in, lie remarked to aiv I'M
;igenl "Ibis is interesting. Let me
know how il turns out," •
All New Flying Club
in Heaven, Room 137
on January l«*f OOOO
at 0:00 am
Next semester move into one of our spacious,
luxuriously furnished suites.
Beautifully faked mahogany bedroom and
study sets (a dresser and desk, that is).
Elegant white bedroom walls (with choice
of blucky blue, icky aqua, piss yellow, and
gruesome green for the suite. Choice views
from towers of campus or parking lots...
just to name a few advantages.
A11 thisfor only $640.00 a month.
How can you refuse?
Be sure to get on line at least 27 hours
before housing registration starts, and be
prepared to FIGHT when it opens.
Remember...Registration starts
(TOMORROW at 9M am.
West Y trginto !
NEWS PAGE THE FOURTH
by Ann Dlarge
More Shortages Sweep U.S.
I
HANIJUAHA II
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fctofe IKnioetBitt! Mthltmi £atietg aponaons:
If it wasn't, it's
NOTTOOIATE!
guard, the Mall project and state-run
justified because the mandatory lax
hospitals and parks. Hayne says we
is getting out of hand and it a hinwill just have to get by on less.
drancetomany people. Webstersays
Asked whether the disadvantage!
" l h e present law is too much of a
burden. It discourages immigrants. might out weigh the advantages gainlo lhe
stale,'makes them go to ed. Hayne said, "Who needs parks
California
instead. TI,The kin
bill ,.,:II
will help
r-..iu- :..:—,„..j
h.ln and recreation?" Critics say such
the underprivileged. No one should things are a necessary pari of life,
be discouraged from entering the however.
State because of this outmoded tax."
Opponents say the 10 per cent
limit will disrupt many minor functions of the State, such as toad construction and maintenance, welfare,
aid to schools, the state national
New Law Outlaws SexOriented Labeling
A building may lable Us reslrooms
by sex only if the operator first
receives written notice from the
Stale Hored ol Health, alter the
owner explains in willing valid
HUHOIOOT
: no
by ' Sua Rebaff and' Chiller Cone;
Negotiation currently before the
State Assembly would sharply limit
the mandatory income tax levied by
New York State on all wage earning
citizens. It also provides that no
more than 10 per cent of the revenue
could be spent for any one item in the
State budget. The tax would be
limited to $50 dollars per year per
person.
lhe bill's bipartisan sponsors.
Assemblyman Darnell Webster (R.
Union) and J,C. Calhoun (D.
Southland) claim that the measure is
SEPTEMBER 8, 1962
OCTOBER 11,1951
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
iOFF CAMPUS:NEWS. PAGE THE-FIRSTiii/u'..". a m alert's r.v.'
Mil
i '
•
rverl/seizure/pervert/seizure/perverii
'seizure/perveryseizure/perveri/seizu
Tricks and TrampsWSUA64°
Contest Rules
Puzzle solvers mutt be admitted to the Albany Student Press
Psycho Ward (Oneida 306) by Monday, 3 p.m. previous to the
Friday that the puzzle appears.
Tuesday, July 7
International Stud Association: presents a multinational Prostitution Weekend in honor of International Brothelhood Week; in the Campus Center
Ball Room at 9 p.m. Workshops and playshops in
Massage etc. Admission is $10 per hour (free to
professionals of upright standing) Come and enjoy!
Klghth Schlepp Coffeehouse presents Lefty Cork,
semi-professional kazoo player and stand-up comic of "Refuse" fame. However, entertainment is by
lone ten-year old female bassoonist. Your doNations are accepted, but your do-Nuts w e
preferred. We have the coffee, if you have the pot!
Monday, February 2 1
Cay Alliance: will hold the "social event of the
year" with its third annual "Coming Out Party."
Gays, Straights and crooked* are invited to attend.
Price of admission is $1 for homosexuals and
heterosexuals, $2 for bisexuals, and asexuals get
in for free.
Junior Piano Recital: was presented two weeks
ago. Selections came from the great works of
Steinway. Baldwin, and Hammond. Held in the
P.A.C. washroom, tickestsareavailable in BA-SS.
Graduate Exhibitions: private parts of the
graduates on exhibition in the University Fine
Farts Gallery). Open to the pubic for inspection.
(Fondled by Student Association).
SOUTH
s
H
1)
C
*
*
*
Name, address, phone number, sex, measurements, marital
status, and other pertlnant information must accompany
every male solver's 8 x 10 glossy, nude photograph.
Thursday, December 1 9
*
*
*
*
*
liAsr
Females need not apply.
Alumni, Indian, Colonial, and Dutch Quad Party:
tomorrow at the RPI field house. Music is by Star
Studded Ironing Board Band and the Livingston
Trio. Fun starts as soon as everybody leaves. Admission is $7.50 with State Quad card and $1
without. Price includes all the beer you can drink,
while you last.
*
*
void
H
I)
C
A
AKQ.I642
KJ732
*
*
c
*
Chicken-Weighs: Interested in having beer spilled
Each of the three winners will receive a $10 gift certificate in f
over your clothes, smoke blown in your face, and
the Dining Hall of their choice. This must be claimed within 2 |
music pounding in your ears? Then come and join fsemesters of notification.
|
in on the fun TONIGHT! when CW's features
"
*
*
"Sardines" (because that's the way you'll feel) Ad- s
mission is $3 with tax card and $.50 without. Beer, [Only one winner is entitled to $681 gift certificate of medical I
munchies, music and entertainment will be sold.
are at the Infirmary. This will automatically be claimed \
Doors open as soon as the smoke level reaches the
ithin 24 hours of consuming $10 worth of food from a Quad \
point of tripping the lire alarm system.
ining Hall.
§
Keccnlly. 1 w;is playing lor the
Kuhher Bridge Championship in the
c m cil Nedltt wltcil the lollowing
situation occurred. It was the limits,
and my partite Heartless Hliink and
Senior Piano Recital: hear music majors recite
"piano, piano, piano" lor a lew hours this afternoon. L.C, 27
CTUDCNT rIKQC
Portnoiy's Complaint
Iniiendo
Fri.: Sundown
Sat. and Sun.: 4:24
NUNCHIdN CLUD
STUDENT rftfOC
Walking Tall
plus selected short subjects
In Yours
Sat. and Sun.; 4:25
Mon.: 8:00, 8:05,8:10
CROTCH QUrfD CIMCtlrl
SOUR
Spermico
Everynight: Bedtime
CriCT emend
The Devil and Miss Dove
Midnight
WOMOTUIB
&Q
-HIM
Last Waltz in Vienna
I'm O.K., You're O.K.
lues, id alternate trhurs.: 9:32,
11:56
out. . 10:00 i
rlMM
JtltiCL€B€«V
Deep \rmpit
Rutci Q
Ihur 8:00,8:15,8:20,8:21 Infirmary
STUI
A Championship Season
Sunday afternoons
RISING Bll,€
:m fiffoc
The
nree Musketeers
The
ood, the Bad, and the Ugly
The Drivel and Miss Jones
What's Up—Cock?
Jello Submarine
Fine Sleezy Leases
whenever anyone shows
C'.C. 34h
Off Color
HCLLMflli
Cheese
Mon.-Fri.; 12:00, 2:00 p.m.
one 12*4
Flounder
Wed.: 6:00 Indian Quad Dining
Hall
Mon.: 1:00
ACROSS
2. Now
4.
5. "
DOWN
this.
• no evil.
mo, O'Lofdl"
7.
8.
9.
ig.
11,
Oir (Eng.).
First hall of 2 Across.
Second half of 1 Down.
Opposite of there.
we go 112. I'll be right
(tame spot)
13. Where you are right now.
The Odd Couple
I'ues.: 2:00
White moves
What ears do.
"Hear,
1" (Bravo!).
Second hall of 7 A cross.
What deaf can not do.
ing aid.
Follows the command • "Come-
8. Where 'it's never at.
10. Are you really ——?
11. Comes befere
it is. -
K.N.
I>-Q4
N-QH3
II-U2
I...I.
I. I'-K4
2.1'xl'
3, I'xN (a)
12. First half of 10 Down.
COIIIII.
•aaiasjs »• ritajejeji rmBM
Wed.L 3:00
Five Easy Pieces
Fri,: 5:00
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
hak
The Third Man
Four Ever Amber
Thurs,: 4:00
White moves
4. INIieh
5. I'-Q4
(i. I'xl'ch
Oli-VVhite and the Seven
Pimps
Sun.: 11:00
Ham
Mtei much decision. Heartless
chose the lend ol u small spade. I hits
I wusablc logei my Aeenfhearlsolf
Bridge
ALL-DIFFERENT
limdou
the fence. Next. Mark Hand tried to
live us u trick in diamonds. He led
the three off the board, I ducked, and
smiled when my purlnei got rid otitis
Ace clubs. I'hc rest of the hand was
spent just unloading the highest
possiblccards wc could, and making
sure we could duck all possible
tricks. Notice that without the
brilliant lend, and poor choice of a
lead by declarer at trick two. that today we would be sharing our title
with the Hand brothers. (Next week
an illustration ol the Italian squeeze
piny),
AscoircHUKiMNopoasr
UVWXYZ
letters may be used mon (dan one*
In any rder.
Mftfsy »• Wei
1'hc tournament was won by a surprise entry who defeated Hobby
l-ischer in the last round. Eric
l.onscltein (who also was fortunate
to he in l-loiida that weekend) upset
l-ischer in the lust Round:
R.I-.
I. K-K.N3
2.I'-K4
U.U
l'-Q3
N-QB3(u)
lEWPAGE THE FIBST
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
APRIL FOOL'S DAY
Thartodat)
Ftufau
N t b afj Gold
NEW SOUNDS
WEEKDAY
by lock I'ppil
i. H-IM
vn.i
4,
5.
(,.
7.
.8.
II-N5
H-Q2
N-K4
N-II3
N-KNIfe)
I'-U3
I'-KIU
\-K2
K-112 (hi
U-K3
III mm M
[I
3
il
m
"LAST
9
WEEK'
Ira Birmblo
White n»ve«
9. K-N2
10.
11.
12.
13.
It-M
O-KBIM
0-1)2
I'xl'.'
1 0 - 4 am
Interview with STUDENT ASS. candidates
m
Galye Knibbaum
N-QNI
Q-HI
U-K3I!
l'-04!!!(d)
speak on
H-Rbmute
Notes -la) I he opening is pretty normal. I he name ol the game is
development, (b) It is important lor
while to guard his KBI'. (c) The
knight was not doing much good at
KH3 so the plan is to put in on KR3.
(d) It is imperative to prevent white
Irom trading bishops before black
adminslcrs the mute.
When asked about his surprise
win over l-ischer, Uric replied; "No
one is more surprised than I am .
Alter all, I had to spend the whole
night before in the Campus Center
reviewing the Chess Club budget.
What else'.'
4t4**»*»»»—**——*—
m
Wedmdwj
Chess
K x l ' (h)
l'-K4
K-03!!!(c)
Soles- (ul At this point, black claimed that only he knew that he had
Iv meant N-KIU. however the touriiumeiit director (.1. Sirica) ruled that
the move would have to stand, (b) It
is probably better to recapture with
the queen, however alter the game
black claimed that the king would
have more control on the right wing
alter Kxl'. (c) White objected to this
move, but black maintained that the
King was immune from attack Irom
u mere puwn or a queen. This claim
has not as yet been decided upon by
USCf" but it dramatic crisis seems
to be imminent.
For VARIETY watch
the ALL-NEW
COLOR!
CINCMrl 7
Mayonnaise
plus
I were lacing the Hand Brothers,
Murk H. Hand and Billcall A. Hand,
in the finals', litis notorious pair is
noted lor often fumbling their
hands, and exposing key cards.
Alter splitting the first six rubbers
in the best of seven series. Mr. Blank
and myself got some good cards. We
quickly became vulnerable, and
forced the Hand brothers into having to make some ridiculous
sacrifices. We had built up a 7000
point lend, when the above hand
happened. Alter I opened with a
strong two-bid. my partner went to
Black well and I unnouncedlwo uces.
My partner then jumped right to
scum spades. Alter a quick talk with
Ins purl iter. Murk Hand bid the only
llung possible. Seven No-Trump.
I his m> partner doubled and wc all
passed. I lien it was announced by
the committee chairman that this
wtis the lust hand. Since both teams
hud one game on, a draw would have
In he culled il no one won this
game. With u large lead, we could aflord to lose this game and we would
still win the rubber. Thus, we went
into Mm lunulas Polish defense.
I he recent Horidu Slule Championship held dining the lust vacation W'lis the site of intense struggles
in chess. I he tournament managed
to attract the world chumpoin Hobby Hschei us well us many
eelebratie*. i:\cn the I'residenl, who
was slaying at his Kc> Uiscuncolliee
ul the lime, manuged to play a game.
However he was paired in the lirst
round against the Itnonlc Icon
.luwoiski. I he game resulted in new
delimtions ol some rules ol chess:
A M N Y 9Tr1T€ CINCMrl
The First Circle
The Kxcerciser
hiss
hiss
'7NI
All hiss
Movie Timetable
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AKO.I432
K.I 732
void
A
Diiuh.
iiihiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiMimiiiiiiHiiiii
ITrlLlflM rlMCRON
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NORTH
BIDDING
hiss
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hiss 7 S
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•
On Target
S
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S
II
1)
Close friends of the Preview Editor will be picked at random |
Saturday night, twelve-ish, her apartment.
|
*
NORTH
S
Only close friends of the Preview Editor are eligible.
*
876
"8M
987
954
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
Cumik Eueirit
the I/Mini
of
S A' 's
and
NfyrilQ
Influence on the
STUDENT BODY
PREVIEW PAGE THE SECOND
editorial consent
QaottofUHfe;
"There will be no quote of the day today."
1
—/4S/ Stop*
(tar Spangled Washboard Band
ha Why Ye Five-O
Funny Boned
V/AKN
TheBenzedrineAdministrationlistiaving a severe case of identity crisis. Not only is
there a black and white sign announcing the Administration building as the Administration building, but now there is a black and gold sign, and two immense purple
and gold signs proclaiming that the Administration building is the Administration
building. Well, Mr. President'" no olie has ever doubted that favt. Intact, if you asked
the average Albany Statestudent wijeje theXdrpinlstration^uiltflng was, chances are
pretty good, he; or even she,'would tell you where to go. W h / we would bet that even
the Faculty, with of course a few hard case exceptions, would testify that they knew
that the Administration building was the Administration building.
Perhaps the only ones who don't know that the Administration building is the Administration building are the Administrators inside the Administration building.
Perhaps the sign is only there so that they can distinguish one building from another.
We all know now similar everything looks around here, maybe the signs are for the new
President (should he, like Godot, ever get here), so'that he, maybe even she, wouldn't
suddenly take up offices in the biology building. We wouldn't want our President
becoming aware of the academics at this school, now would we.
Therefore, we would like to announce that we strongly disapprove of any plan to
construct a fifth quad on this campus laying on its side. Such an edifice would be a
waste of critical space and could be better used for larger facilities for the Administra- JK«M«*«<ftllS^^
The propensity-to-consumc schedule, or
tion building.
eonsuplion function, relates in a direct
proportion the level of consumption to levels
of income.
Candles Burning
In today's issue, the item under "errata" was incorrect. It should have read . . . "In
yesterday's issue . . . ."
The ASP would like to sincerely apologize to the University-Community for printing a factual, non-biased story in its March 29 issue. We will try to insure that such an
error never reoccurs.
•
*
>
IDIOT IN CMUK
ASSISTANT TO THE IDIOT
NEWS KAIIICATOI
ACCOMPLICES
SHITTY KDITOR
L i m n HEAD
AUKS IDIOTOI
ASSOCIATE AUK
SAW SroKr IDIOTOI
ASMI so SEE VET SPORT I moron
ArrnI/INI, MANI.Im
ASSOCIATE APPETIZER
TAKE A NICKEE IOIOTI»
ASSOCIATE NICKLE TAKERS
PERVERTS I MOTOR
Top SECRETS IDIOTOR
CRA* KEIT IDIOTOR
fern* MANULER
V^ns|wi""*«* ,<'•
-
Ann Ds BIJNKBD
B.B. GONE
,
GEORGE LIBBLOR
CHOCOLATE AI.UA, DAN CHEESE BURGER
GLENN, VON HARRY ENOBR
CECIL B, DE MILLBR
..'
MT KBVIM
JUICY BRUCSJ
CAN HE ARDI/INBT M l
CUNTY KAI»I
PIIILYS OBSOBMONA
WOODEN NICKI.B ESQ,
. . An (OJ) MEYER, MIKE PUSIIINHROOM
NIOIITTOWN PAYMONT
LBS ZULUS
WENDY BEI.INDY BEOUINE
JUOOLB ALI.HIXIKS
N BORN IMAOE, EASTMAN KODAK
Captain Kangaroo
Sex And The
Single Suitemate
Signs of the Times
In yesterday's issue we reported that the ASP would not publish today. That was
wrong.
litters
Shop For Values
The Nixon Administration announced yesterday [that the President would submit
his resignation before God on Wednesday. Nixon said, "He's the only one who understands me." The distraught monarch complained that even his daughter Julie didn't
understand him. Well that's just too bad you silly goose. You should be ashamed of
yourself for deluding your trusting subjects for so long. It's no supper for you tonight
you naughty boy.
They're all against me, he said. You're right. It's all a conspiracy, We've been put to
get you since you graduated from Whittier College. We've had our men out checking
up on youi We knowhvhere you've been, who you've seen, the whole story, You wanted
us to think that your agents were inserting needles intoMartha|Mitcheli's'derriere.Not so
young man. No cover-up can save the President this time. We've got the goods. It
would be in the best interestes of this fair nation to expose that menance for what he
is—a pervert. One small streak for man, one giant streak for women.
And while we're out there exposing our ruler,
let's all celebrate
America. Yes, America, where a bi-centenniel parade -symbolizes\ull this country
stands for. Where songs and beer and marching bands come to mean—America. And
lions and tigers and bears, Oh, my! Let's stand up and cheer—for America. Where a
Canadian can produce a million selling single about how much Canadians love
America. AMERICA, and who disguised as Clark Kent lights a never ending battle for
truth, justice, and the American way.
Errata
upon hint: "Who it that kangaroo rirTHe
of you know what Descartes meant when he
replied, abKMmiiidedly.'TTie Infirmary spy."
culled Socrates "the epitome of consecration"?
Saul: I can't tell you that, Karen, and I . . . I
Yes, there is aniInfirmary spy. task all to
can't even tell you why . . . .
watch out fdr him; for the time being, that is all
we can do. But I have the Student Associa- Good, eh? I have a number of art episodes
lion working on it; help will come.
detailing adultery with the intent Of receiving
To the Idiotor:
tenure. Let me know when you want them.
Do not fear!
!*,•*/
S. Kawnek . ., I would like lo relate a recent incident that
occurred last night on this campus. I woke up,
us usual, in a kneeling position. As 1 stood up I
noticed a kangaroo watching me through the
window. It Hew away, and I thought nothing
more of il. The following day, however, I
To the Idiotor:
received u note from the Student Health SerI would like to tell you about a recent
vice which read: "Our resident psychiatrist is
religious experience. Ifany of the readers want
one of the best in the business; he will be glad To the Idiotor:
There is a certain phenomenon that has octo,- they can read it, too.
i*,.
to discuss kneeling in your sleep or any other
curring at Albany State recently that strikes
It started about 10:30 last night. The twelve
topic. Peel free to make an appointment."
me as rather odd. It is the strange desire for
of us were, going streaking around Perimeter
How, I ask. did the Infirmary know I find
privacy that certain pairs of students, usually
Road while stoned, when suddently the truth To the Idiotor.
myself
kneeling
every
morning?
I
suspected
Why? That's all I want to know. I mean.
of Ihe oppposite sex but I don't think
hit me. I Hew back to my dorm room and
that kangaroo, but decided to investigate. I
wrote down this list of the New Rules for the why? Huh? Oh. yeah. I see. You're right. disguised myself as me and acted us if I hud necessarily, seem to have periodically when
Thanks a lot. It was bothering me. but now it's
they are together. My roommate recently
New World.
received Ihe note they sent me. The head
stayed in our room lor four
hours
1. Since false drugs arc destructive, yet all right.
shrinker
told
me
to
lay
down
and
relax;
I
did
Muharaj Ji
with u girl he had been friendly with. Their
prison cells lire more so, marijuana should be
so. I continued with by exotic plan by telling
conversation, as I heard it through the wall,
decriminalized for simple possession and a
Ihe doctor my dreams: little did he know that I
consisted mostly of rather deep sighs and some
class Vixl 132 felony lor sale (note the penal
was right there, telling him.
laughter. This is not rational conversation- I
code is more complex than presently used).
suspect il is temporary insanity. In any case, I
2. Total conformity is necessary, but in an
I told him about my daffodildo dream, my have found it occurring in other parts of the
ideal society, it should not be compulsory.
envious lypewrilerdreamand my juicy dream. school. I want to bring this to your attention.
However, it is not long to the day of judgment,
He ate it all up. I waited until he was thinking
Thank vou.
_ ., ,
so il doesn't matter too much, anyway, as long
Ihe hardest, and then pounced my sly question
Eu Nuck
as there is no anti-social behavior, anti-social
f0m:fi^f^^>xm»>»^y»i'wmmmmm
being defined however is most expedient. lo ihe Idiotor:
| From the Frog's. Leg
Anyway, He knows.
I realize lhat this is your once a year humor
.1 The atheistic Communistic Ogre of the issue and effort has been made to come up
Lust must heevungclizcd by thcycar 1976, or wilh uproarious material with which to
else we will never show them the light, and. guarantee a successful issue.
4. All Universities and other places of higher
In this pursuit of ample material, please do
learning be levelled and in their places, be con- mil sloop low enough to use inferior humor, of
structed giant temples, with room to accom- questionable taste. A good satire issue does
modate everyone for the Big Sleep.
not have lo be vulgar or lascivious.
Anyone intcresleil in joining my Committee
And no menstruation jokes. Period.
lo Rcinsliluleiifh^lsgicy^Valucs, please contact II
> V - - , . ,.«,•-ford KirChnerj
me at my olffee,' An.lnc2.Trd floor of the twin It
>,,m!
S&F
" ' '"
'•
>
towers building.
in peace.
Name Withheld
Ken WRcltsoffSSSWSSSWSSSKSiSSiTOiS:
The dollar votes of people effect prices with
a malignancy of wage and price controls. Gasoline, as an entity which lends itself towards
classification as a liquid assetcomma as due do
small fluid donkeys... Hello, I am a Smith
The propensity-to-savc schedule or savings Corona Elecira 210. He's in the bathroom
functions, relates income to savings. Since now, so I, thought Vd type you a notecomma
whatever is saved is equal to what is non- and tell you what its like having to do these
consumed, consumption and savings damn columns every week, If you. think you
schedules arc exactly alike in the sense that got it tough, what about me? He turns me on
saving and consumption together equal dis- about twice a week and that's not enough for
posable income.
mecomma I got a manual and two ballpoint
The break-even point is where the income pens to support. Whycomma just last week,.
level has a net savings of zero. Below it the ...ohoh! He's coming back, gotta stop typing
marginal propensity aggregates a negative now, sec you some other article
savings. Above it, the contrapositivc form
utility is indicated. Graphically, the breakThe benefits from a public or social good,
even point is a continuously geometric line
formation which culminates in the 45 degree unlike those from a purely private good, are
reference line intersection of the consumption seen to involve a plurality of welfare tranlcr
payments to those social security recipients
function.
constituting the lower socio-economic class.
It is the interdependence of the productivities: land, labor, and capital, that is causal
of the problem of complex distribution
phenomenon. To produce aggregute 'Q' with
Any discussion of the philosophical
factors 'X' and 'Y', you must find the intersec- ramifications of a post Galbraith economic
tion points of 'mpp', 'npp', 'npc', and 'gnp'. tcchno-structure would be incomplete without
That completes the marginal productivity exploring the fascinating world of peace time
theory of intricate distribution.
inputs-output Hows of items under protective
As we hold a fixed input constant and tariffs, quotas, and Hey!, it's me again,
laboriously increase a variable input, the Smitty! The doorbell rang and while he's
marginal physical product of thut Godfor- answering il we can talk! How's the wife and
saken variable input will have no choice but to kids? That's good. Yaknow, you can't buy
defeated ly decline—at least after a given health.. .Oh Oh
kcyncsian economist,
point!
John Munard Keynes, postulated the balance
Nonetheless *e can accept the complete fixr of international payments, which was his
ily of land supply as its price-signal of efficient business and is certainly none of ours. The inI'Rctoring of commodity substitutions.
herent inelasticity of land affords it the
The most serious deviationfiom the perfect criterion of pricing by purccompelltion. The
competition ideology comes from monopoly marginal revenue and its intersection at the
ethics, vis-a-vis the Parker Brothers and their hottom of the marginal cost curve substancapitalization 'CAPITALIZATION^ of the time, our analysis. End olchapter..,™'«<//</«.•
working class ethic of monopoly,
w{ft mil km,s
Smill
m,s / | (
Satirycon
EDC Clears the Way
the I IX'. she continued, "I imagine sonic ol
lliem are high when they vote .
§
I
he
vital
role
ol
Environmental
Leadership
vv • •••
Ihe idea ol using recycled water originated
$••""! guidance on the SUN YA campus, unever$ increasing problem in today's complicated life when the loilels on the third flour of Ihe cam
$ setting, resis squarely on the shoulders of the pus center backed up into the palroon room
Slew brave men and,women who make up the drinking fountain. A pilot study was under
^Environmental Destruction Commission taken Willi Ihe help ol PIL club (Perversion jh
|(LI)C). The commission, referred lo by higher I.in iron mem I who manned ihe toilets to
| ranking administrators only lis "The Commls- provide much needed flushing power. Jury
jBsion." look steps last Tuesday lo make the tiones later reported, "Yup! We're recycling
JsjSUNYA campus an ecological model for the lour water!
When asked about Ihe danger of con
•«nation with the announcement of plans to
•? recycle waste water through the drinking laniiiiuled drinking water'. Vice-President
iglotllilains ol the campus. After i years of Low (Christmas leeih) Belch replied, "l.i
:| healed debate and charges of politicking and iliein (the students] drink wine," (hiccup)
In other action, ihe UDC announced that
S "hanky-panky," the Commission passed the
::•! motion 2 to .1 against with 27 abstentions and ihe University gas situation has improved. "It
i;|: one "yup" by an unidentified director of the was I hat damn split pen soup!" muttered John
Tiirtley. Vice-President for Mismanagement,
•:•; Campus Center.
•iji One of the major opponents of the bill was as he quickly evened the meeting for the
!•:!• John T. l-'tiekoff, .1 r„ recently promoted czar Itiiirlh lime.
I he meeting, which look place in the Lec$:• ol ihe Plant Department (greenhouse). Said
I u ihe Idiotor.
I'm gellingu lilllesick heuringabout streak- " Tuckoll. "I'm just as much an environmen- ture Center men's room, reached a heated
ing every lime I turn around. II these nuts are talist as anyone else on ihe campus, lull we just climax on ihe unusual activities of member
so unsure over Iheir masculinity so us It; :•!• can't have shit coming out ol all the drinking Corporal Willi) Clvdesdale: 'The Corporal,
who seized a "lownv" I icehouse overlooking
prance about ihe earth wilh their clothes off, •iji fountains!"
let them. ll'Ciod had wanted man to streak, be •:•: Resisting the movement were two eon- live pond for his temporary headquarters, is
iji; siipaied students, Gary Slewin and Paul attempting to rid the lake uf "them pesky goldwouldn't have made clothes.
Clark Gable $ Orion, who both threatened to boycott the hsh." Sod Chessman, who attempted early
•jij water luiimuins and pull moons in the ud- Ibis morning lo convince Ihe Corporal 10 slop a
:|i| ministration building. When questioned spearing lish from his perch ("It's not '
Suborn motives, Slewin replied, "Oon'l try to natural"), regretfully submitted llicCorponirs
| j double-talk me, buddy. I'm a self-proclaimed request for 10 loaves ol bread. 4 cans ol tuna
:•:• environmentalist!" Orion seemed tongue-tied lish. ,t lumdgrenndcs, .'2 spears. K do/en
$, during Ihe incident and refused lo open his win ins. ami I Irishcc. Suited the Corporal in j
Ins request: "Carp is Hell!"
•'.•: mouth lor comment
i;ij Subject now lo Ihe approval of University
Despite the efficient, dedicated woikiui! ol
:| President l.ouis (Hutch) Benzedrine the bill ihe I.DC. .in an of impatience prevails on th
I would come lo $24,632,719.02. Slate funding campus, Quipped co-chairman John I. Sum:
| will account lor $24,632. 719.00 with 2 e con- "Never basso little depended on su main." lie
lo the Idiotor:
:•:• IriblUt'd from a special presidential bubble enumerated some of iheluiurc I l)i >f ,,uiv
I he will of the people must he felt by all of i|gum fund. An unidentified commission
use ol yogurt in Ihe campus ictlcciiug
the people. Ihe represetilalivcsofsomool'ihe member was heard to remark, "Yup, he's fountain (will make St.'NVA ihe culunul
people must show most of the people what is | | | | W |
, ,„ , „,, 1WI, c c m 5 i n !
eenler ol ihe world!)
wauled by all ol Ihe people and not by some ol g A ,; h m l | , h „„, a „ 0 | T | d H | im . mtK . r o f t h c
use of recycled toilet paper in the .id
the people. Some of llie people musi >;| l ; ( ) C | t m c l H t m k ? r „| , h c siujcnt Health In- ministration building (we all should turn the
remember all of the people und not most of ihe | family voiced her opposition by requiring oilier cheek.)
people. And that's why I'm running lor Cen- k warning signs on all fountains lo rend,
increased use of organic foods in diuin
tral Council,
l-DANOUK: DRINKING RECYCLED ureas (you can beat our prices, bin you can't
l-'rcd Flamrn
l „ ihe Idiotor:
Bombed Out
^by Ran. Piplera
I've been told thai this is supposedi lo
be a
in i,e ii
lunny issue and evervlhing. includiling the
letters, is supposed to be funny
What I want to know is if this letter will be
To the Idiotor:
primed even though it isn't funny and if it is
This is lo let you know that we have placed a ,printed,Td like lo find out exactly how long
homb somewhere on the campus. Unless our
people will read a Idler that is not even mildly
demands are met we will be forced to delon
humorous. It'samuzinghow students will read
xomelhing even though il has nothing to say
and is really quite boring.
Susan Underbill
Car 54
Where Are You
To the Idiotor:
I nil) writing you to voice my approval ol the
proposed segregated parking on the various
campus parking areas.
I think thill arranging il so that the black
cars have lo park in the back of the lots is a
great idea. Black ears aren't Ihe same as
regular cars and shouldn't he parked with
them, licsidcs, black cars smell funny. Thank
you.
Hetty Jo Biulofski
Cease A Thesist
lo Ihe Idiotoi:
I have a great idea for an academic adult
drama thai I think would be sniasho for your
paper.
(ienerul Studies
Lame: So, you're the one who scrutinized my
thesis! If only I had left when your wife started
talking about Jung . . . .
Saul: U's water under the bridge, chap. My
only concern is about ,. . the allegory I
Ijinre: |x>es Peggy know?
Saul: Who's Peggy?
Karen: Excuse me professors, but do cither
I Couldn't Give
A Fig Dept.
Remember
The Alamo
ittiW
MARCH 45, 1974
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
•••••..••.•.•••..••••:•••••
EDITORIAL PAGE THE FIRST
UNREAL ESTATE
For w i t : Unwed runway
IF YOU WANT
SOMETHING,
farto—ircM
flight*. CcH R. Mumey. Track Coach. SUNTA
7-4584
Free Dope
Well you can take you (centorod) finger and
(censored) in your (ctnsored). I don'? won!
anything to do with that (cemoted).
. Full color picture* trf ASP mule critic and DJpeb
•kdinifcf art- now umlbbic lo the general public!
Working wiih minimal imdligcncc and art IQcu.ua) In
1/4 hU n#i, Rkdirigcr tutpriiied many who figured Ihe
nilwil utuhin'i make il part kindergarten yei here he b.
wrltiin ttur \«ry conllncs, Ci* ol' ihe noodnik, mitable
for lining wet shoe* or oiiihing marlhooch, can be had
M Ihe itma/ing price of one lor 25 tenia, three Tor 30
ttfll*, nine liirSl.tiU, (8r«rS2.00or8l for$4,011. And.
if you order mm, we'll wml you un additional photo of
this dupe utivittttely./hvl We must he mad lo oiler inch
II uiicuuiiy! Hurry, tlii*. oiler ends uimormw and we
nuiy even run out hclore ihent Be thefirston your
block!
Good luck, this year, CI! be watching.
BITS AND PIECES
GOULASH FOR $20
Wanted: one Exorcist, please rush, situation
Wanttd a horn, wtwra buffalo roam and
Attention 441 Hudson: your
j ^
falling.
o r . not douoV o l day.
CallNatti.
chimney is
is becoming desperate.
Bumpo. 7-3123
For sale: Blank eight-track recording tap*.
WonMd: P m o n for o n . room, no window,,
I didn't do it. I was framed. They made me
j Inquire R.M.Nixon, Bon 1776, Washington
no utilrliw. no bathroom. Ihro. wall,, ond
look guilty, but I'm innocent, I swr—
ir. **
Fteate
D,C. 20008
me, I
believe me,
no door. It.nl J175 w t . k - Call H. Muohoi
Deranged Musicians
car. ol Dewrl In Mot»l. l o i Vcrgo, Ntvodo
End the gas shortage at SUNYA. Subscribe
47502
to FSA contract meal plans.
I wont to buy and.nl torture equ.pment lor
Nev.—Last
casting dice in the corner of the bar.
NASA, care of Saturn Probe, Amarillo Tex-
Sunday night, over three hundred
Visible were several players, each
as, 62510
Poi maintenant,
William F. Buckley {212) 459-6250
Charles de Gaulle
claiming that one or another
someone's relations was an illegal
I wish toiell out my ihare ol profilible ham-
musicians streaked down. Central
alien or something of that sort. Still,
burger chain. Coll Ronald ihe Clown ai 7
Avenue to the Bali-Hi Bar lor the an-
some others were actually betting the
2153.
nual Musician's Union D69 awards
ceremony and free lunch.
clothing off their backs, piece by
"The event is in its 39th year," said
the union and master of ceremonies
for the evening, "and is enjoying its
biggest year ever. Unfortunately, we
were hoping for a smaller draw than
this.
You
see,
most
of
free drink in their lives and Irorn
some of the activity in the room
already you can sec exactly what I
unanimous
reply
Musicians Casting Dice in Corner
room,
crammed
with
musicians, many still undressed, was
live with all sorts of bee-like activity.
ODDS AND ENDS
Help <ne find illy sheep, they've been loir tor
"Streuk, strcuk, streak!!!" And the
ple thai share you interests? SUNY Bestiality
For sale: Aniweri to BIO 101 hourlies . Call
Saturday at
Drs Izzard, Grmadella, or Flynn or report to
nde a horse.
Liberation Front meets at Broru Zoo this
Remember
Ihe Back
Linguini
Kntertainment This Year Too!
"Remember last year? When we had
This
year's
entertainment
was
provided by Vtx S/riderblck ami his
The
winners
hack 'room! We could never do t|at
I'rec
features Vix on his wonderful falset-
Donny
to
Rock.
h'lo.wine,
vocals.
Also
Spickels,
varied
which
selections
The first chick they saw, with that
from the Juke Box representing the
IVightlul
(.19) thirty-nine years of the function
hair
and
glasses,
they
, Jesus!"
was featured us a supplement to the
Teddie.
The Rabbit died.
Conceited undergrads to live on
State Quod
Mary Jo KContact Quad Board
"Fortunately we didn't gel into
over the place, and accordian great,
any trouble with that incident 'cause
ping competition
(Jranola was shouting from
till' sheriff canid and arrested the
awards were landed out to a very
the lop of his table "I can play better
chick for indecent exposure. When
than you, mother!" Several select
they came, they found her over there
rebuttlcs were returned to Grick but
in that same corner. You know, that
the ruy! hot. spot was in the rear
Ivan's a devil, Heh, hch!"
of
below
the
(3)
arc
live
of
the
Desperately Wanted. Interested people to
One dollar horsey rides at "Grandpa's
Lawrence at 7-1032. Thank you.
write intelligent editorials. Contoct ASP
Farm
I()' , discounts tor SUNYA students.
6«it 8 on Thruwoy. Wear shoes.
Solo Artist of the Year: Male—
Rock;
Fcmulc—Donny
Rock band wanted lo revolutionize society
For iole. One
Please coll Roger .^t 800-325-3535 (toll
boyer anylime,
free).
Call Chancellor
i
hollowing the Roping and Romin the bar, the
POJI McCartney
clandestine relationships. Call Bruno 70000
Help wanted- undergrads to ser«ice Biology
and a turtle do*e. Partridge and a pear
experiments Next months topics are dissec-
tree also All at reasonable prices, left oyer
tion and the brom Call Dr Frank N. Stem.
from bad X-mos party. Call 5-4321
famMmmmMKmmiwmmmtmrM •mrm.xmxm 4
I
THE DRIVEL
IN MISS JONES
April 8
|
LC 32
I
7:45 and 9:22 f
A PANEL DISCUSSION WILL ]
P 0 L L 0 W EACH MOVIE t J
ARTS PAGE THE FIRST
CRASSIFIED ADS
DEPARTMENT
457-2053
String Artist of the Year: Hcrnie
Need seven room apartment tor of f busline
(Hertuirdo) I'luckett.
Willing to pay top dollar if satisfactory. Coll
Percussionist of the Year: Este-
Bruno 7-0000
r'ieresnopiaceiiVehome There'j no place
Riders needed lorCentral Council bills, ihey
like home There's no place like home.
Dsrothy.
ore becoming loo straight forward *i
recent weeks
This week's meeting of the Streakers
lu!
viscious reaction.
There will b e free introductory lec-
A Date With Bob
l l m il Kill liisi 1 .IIM wtiiil you've liwrii willing lurl
Allei immihit ol' inUiiMic nMfdllmj, our ASI' (lull
i>imitij!i;i|iiiL'i iniiiiK intuit) Mtmciinevuilngu (i;ililiun
diiie. I In* iniikicU'iII delicai'j is <i prime inurcdiciil til
IwinkkV huil hiciid. htu lo find MMleotlc aclMnlly
euliii", one in UK pine lui 111 IN espeeinlly rare. Uui iilcit
ihullerbug cauuhl Art*' lolinnniM Hub Kiedinger pulling hit typewriter aside and enjoying lliis UMy treat
C l u b has been cancelled d u e to the
tures on how to stop e a t i n g the pai-
—
AU090AKCCS
nless, permanent w a y , Tuesday a n d
pneumonia ep-demic.
W e d n e s d a y , at 8 p.m. at the SUNYA
iiflcr lionr> ill hie ASP ill lice. As iiimlliuition.il service
lo ilio iiiiiu-f.il>. tlu' ASI1 is now milking iivnlluhW
copies, II| iln- milium plmhigiiipli of n tiulikun dutu
mill Huh in ihe pieuiie as well, Siiitiihk lor Immina.
ilk-se.iu-ii teal hillgiiii)ill tineloi Meciitti.tluecfiirfU*
l> ccitu, 11>» SLOW, IK lui S2.WI, in XI lur M.uU
Hurl) urn suppl) is limned.
The Procrastinate?'s Club has post-
Commtsary.
Students
enrolled
in
the
p o n e d then ne.»t meeting until they can
D e p a r t m e n t s o f Biology. Chemistry,
S U N Y A W e i g h t W a t c h e r will sponsor a dance ("Burn those Calories") Frid a y night in the Indian Q u a d skinny
decide - H e n to ha»e it.
or Physics a r e reminded that the new
Earrh
5<ienee
course
Methods
0)u7
of
Class off '75 is sponsoring a trip to...
ROME v
during finals week,
May 11 to 18
Buses will leave the circle May 11 at
4:00 am. Arrive Rome on May 16, sunset.
n!SS755**@7
Want advice on your major?
Come
t H * 3 2 .803a 54 »9H b ;
peo
should
write
Notional
The Y u m y u m C l u b will meet in the
Society, Box 1210, Woshmgton D. C
mam f o j n t a m next week. W e will eat
Typing
program
for
the
t
Warn
some fun" SUNYA s Board of
P a w Society in CC 591 this M o n d a y .
Trustees ha<e a p a m p h l e t a v a i l a b l e
called Recreation a t t h e State Univer-
I n t e r n a t i o n a l Toke T a k i n g . From 6
to 8:30 on Thurs. in Gym G r e a t break
sity of N e w York a t A l b a n y
Included
a r e articles on "Intelligent Dating" a n d
"Stupid Dating."
from studying.
be m Indian's Skin Room.
Psychiatric
e on-the meal plan
University College announces a new
i
Students yet to have reached puber-
the Ballroom. Next week's meeting will
Anyone interested in obtaining a
booklet colled Vacations in A l b a n y
from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. to accommocate
«
if 3 5 0
monthly fun night tomorrow morning in
the Hell A m I Doing Here this evening
The H e a l t h Center will now be open
per-
S U N Y A s Sex Society will hold rrs
hear a panel discussion called W h a t
on lop of the carillon.
ar\fi
to CT-2. Experience p r e f e r r e d .
B0ft£D FOJCKS
T303
ty a r e m u t e d to a meeting of the Pre-
sonnel. Come Saturday night, 10 p.m.
SHARPS & MATS
Inexperienced, sloppy, Dut
'and
r,
Jh our tummies.
CHEAP! 111-1111
fall
tf^ari
i
69
m
e
..SOT all your
greenery needs.
* *
HAD A HARD DAY? . W E YWIRSEIF A I f T
The SUMVA Barber Shot
We specialize in grasses
-largest supplier in the country
has authentic rising (& reclining ) chairs.
• Ttfefi SfHbl* CREW CUTS- only one bit
SO STOP IN N 0 W our cute will make
your hairs stand
up on end!
Class off'75: $279.35 one way
All others: $1.99 round trip
NOTE:
1. Limit- lA ticket per person in line
2. Tickets will bear Ima Ripov's name and will NOT be
transferable.
3. Make checks payable to Ima B, Ripov, attn: Class of 7 5
4. Should demand be great, one car will be rented
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
iry-outs for new m a d a m e
ncompletes required
3 5 0 OS729B
only m Philosophy.
j
A full 3 hours of sun and fun in sunny
and funny Rome!
— — — • — — — — - — — — - ^ = " » » «
0 3
5 S 0 2Boy7 2 6 e 7 8 51 i
m « 2 7 - ? y , r - i . -.13H5 -- rdtelSBlfh
B u x o m s Bar a n d Brothel will hold
extracurriculars. At least 3 courses of
Prices:
p
Suicide" yields credit towards a m a j c
melbo toast.
PINK FLAMENCO
April 7
LC32
8:30 and 1:15 f
• i DO YOU WANT SOME- I
THING FENCED?
Must sell 3 French hens, some calLng b.rds
Wanted: Seven young females or males for
Man of the Year: Kicky
iversity
* v W t
Dear World,I'm Dead.
Group of the year: S I P and the
Razors lidge.
Horn
Professional massages gi>en Please call
awards
room. There will b e 2 kegs of Tab a n d
EDUCATIONAL SERIES!
• • DO YOU WANT A PROFESSOR KNOCKED OFF?
Organ.
Live Entertainment.
poS^SrSS^pTci^ri
i
A SPECIAL
listings
categories:
again. Some cowpokes (groupies)
pummeled her 'til she passed out.
• i DO YOU WANT TO TELL
SOMEONE WHERE TO 60?
foffmhfff
Room
continues,
the belly dancer lor the boys in the
9am. Don't get there by bus-
BIO 242 between 3-5 pm Mon-Fri.
ten days.Cotl Bo-Peep at 7-7138.
conga line again was formed.
Sporadic lights were breaking out all
Crick
Interested m forming club with special peo-
Board
Wonted
cried
wanted to gel into (he room! Gosh!
mean."
The
snotty
nm
Hall in a plain brown wrapper. State Quad
going to do without their clothes, a
these
musicians have never turned down a
of
piece. When asked what were they
DOUBLE
JEOPARDY,
HODGEPODGE
Pres. Benezet: Deliver *he money to Fulton
dusty, dirty, thirsty, starving area
Linguini Mussolini, spokesman for
RESULTS
GUARANTEED!!!
my own onjoym.nt. P l w J * write C. Monwn.
Rideri nwoVd tor yeor long poiition.Wnle
FLATS,
to you.
Help me learn to speak Englishgooder. Cart
where about thirty crazed gents were
JACKASS
wouldn't Se
Ahhhhhh
Col. Stol. Priton ol Chino.
K U D O News
LET US GET IT
FOR YOU!
Dear Hank,
COME IN FOR A SAMPLE
Suite 2201, Eastman
Admission:
$5.00 with tax
$10.00 without
ir*V-ci»\-«*^
MARCH 1, 1927
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
OCTOBER 6, 1929
G C ;i..'i
yj
i
ARTS PAGE THE SECOND
teirtl J u n * 4 K M ' ; ci.'iA
ikStetfnfc^li
Since these maA fieidhouse, the dream of to jor thoroughfares were both
many people associated with die; closed a total of 357 days list
Albany-State campus is finally a year, alternate methods of
reality. By an overwhelming reaching the building may have
margin, the administration voted to be designed, the most feasible
3 to 2 (24abstentions)toapprovr being the extension of perimeter
plans for the construction of a" road sortie 150 miles.
permanent superstructure, with
; Another problem with"
completion tentatively scheduled transportation which may arise':
far N ^ ^ b e r , : 2 ^ . ^,,,. U :
is the fact that a rather small
Tht fieidhouse Will' be con- bridge must be crossed before
veniently located 35 miles reaching the proposed sight.
southeast of Syracuse, easily Laughingly referred to as "Death
accessible by county road 109 or Bridge" by local townspeople.it
Pot Hole Road, which ever is not; has the uncanny habit of collapcondemned as being unsafe for. sing at the most inopportune
The Ballad of Horace Clark
byN^^s^il^:-1'
5§
It looked extrcmelydismalforithe Yankee fans that day
The score was 9-4 with but 3 innings left to play
And then when Roy White popped it up with 3 runners on base
Babe.Ruth turned over in his grave and cursed out this disgrace.
times, such as when i~cdnstrue:
tion worker (now deceased)
whistled while Grossing. George
Samuels, foreman of the project,
. admitted- -that the . bridge's
strength might be questionable,
but shrugged it off, saying,
"We'll cross that bridge when we
come to it." /
, In order to accomodate the expected|crowds, seating capacity,
is 23, with room tfor 3,476
standees. -In accordance with
voluntary energy regulations, a
central heating system has been.
designed, to be set at.a eorista'nt
temperature, of'68° (Kelvin). In
addition, other energy-saving
measures will be attempted, including no lights, restrooms, or
public-address, equipment..
"However," says jerry
Met has, building superintendant, "we will of course have a
im to play on Ticleittlyv similar tSjihe speedy
cassette
(battery-operated) and effortless manner in which
before each sports event."..
WSDA radio has become FM."
In terms of cost, the fieidhouse
A question has arisen as to the
is relatively inexpensive as far as necessity of constructing a 152
these types of structures are con- Toot high statue of Edward
cerned. Therefore, financial ad- Durrell Stone, chief designer of
visors feel that funding will be the fieidhouse, at an estimated
no problem, with money cost of $3,000,000. An altersupplied by a small hike of tui- native to the statue, of Stone,
tion fees of approximately $12,- which seems- to have growing
.650 per person. •
. .support, is the construction of an
However, Harold . Mews'on,- equally-large statue of Betty
chief organizer of the project, George and her dog Moo.
.cautions that all may not go as Sourcjs close to the project
repdrt that a compromise may be
well as forecast.
"In all honesty wc must point reaches shortly, resulting in a
out that although all the plans statue of Stone holding Moo beare basically sound, a couple of ing constructed.
items might be a bit perturbing,
Betty George could not reachsuch as the fact that there are no ed lor comment, but Moo told
parking facilities to speak of. But the ASP in an exclusive inter7
inall reality we expect everything view (through an interpreter)
;o go over smoothly and ef- t h a t live was', "'flabbergasted."
Wrestlers Pin
"Twas the last day of the season Yanks and 0's tied for first place. by Gary Fields
The Allburiny State wrestling
The Yanks had come from far behind to... climb back in the race
'team' was sensational in the
They'd gone with vet Pat Dobson who'd won 20 games that year
capital district tournament this
But yielded 6 runs early whether from overwork or fear.
past weekend.
Up in the booth was MJjM«ll|fltghing-up the play by play, •
Captain •
Steve
1
And old Bill White health; l i S r S i nothing of intelligence to say;'-1' Shoulder harness Won his'
seventh1 rstraigHt'"ftuit"ch' by subRizzulo'made excpasjrjaji^inllHt-the famous line:
'•""'d .'"-'
mission, after using his famous
Chat you never know in Fenway till the last 3 in the ninth.
groin-grasp*. Steve claims to have
developed the hold out of
At'. thiird base was Graig Nettles having dropped 3 straight ground necessity. He said yesterday, "I
balls
used to be a shower attendant at'
With Gene Michael to his left which was no saving face at all;
a gym forhesivy'weight-lifters!".
1
At Tint base was Mike Hegan but everyone could see
(Incidently, Steve's last 4 victims
They suffered from the Golden Glove Hopeless, Horace Clark's '• have formed a singing group
called the sopranos).
Another victor was freshman'
But Horace wasn't blowing games; he'd found a rare good streak
Bear Briant, who uses a tremenHe had riot blown a doubleplay for this, the tenth straight week
dous bear-hug to crush his opAnd with him in the line up; the fans no longer (unAs) and frowned ponents into submission. Bear
- But instead they .yelled at old Roy White— who's throws were on the developed this' hold as a
ground.
youngster when his mother used
to breastfeedlhjm while riding a
Then early in the eighth inning a nighty cheer arose
It echoed to the bleachers and boomed in between the poles
The Yanks had brought in 6 big runs to knot and tie the score
And now they led by one an a single by Horace, the man they now
adored.
Hockey
There was ease/in Horace's manner as he went out to second for inning number nine
There was grace in Horace's motion when he speared a hard lirfc1
drive
And then when Coggins failed to bat and Blair received a walk
The fans stood on their seats and'screamed their hatred in their
squalks.
.
.
or FieldHouse
naTiom
Led by Frank I'atroni's third
period goal with 6:54 left to play, the
Great Danes hockey squad struggled
to a significant truimph over
Williams College by the score of 4-2
in a contest marred by a free-for-all
in the second period. The lighting,
which involved both benches,
resulted in two game misconducts
being issued kj each team, an unfortunate occurrence but a highly entertaining one for the sparse but exuberant crowd who viewed the contest in the Held house by the lake
behind Indian Quad. The victory,
which continued the Danes unheal*!*'streak ul three and which
gave them an overall record of 4-2-1,
was of particular importance
because it came over a vastly more
experienced Williams team.
Honda 360.
There was a three fall match
between the heavyweights from
Albany and Siena last night.
However, the wrestlers only fell
twice, so it was tailed'a draw.
846 Jlb. 'heavyweight Blobs
O'Bradovich has decided to
donate the last seven men he
pinned to recarpet Steinmetz
Hall on State Quad. That's hust
his way of saying that he is sorry
for eating the. podium last Tuesday.
.
_,'..
Sport Snorts
by Gary Field
Major League Baseball:
Yankees -Yesterday, Horace Clarke was traded for a new clubhouse water
cooler Mrs. Frit?. Peterson revealed today that she Had originally hoped
to witch with Mr* Bobby Murcer.figuring that a .300 average on thefieldis
good for at least the same in the bedroom....
Mets-Tug McGraw, before a grand jury hearing, today admitted that there
were times last year when he didn't "believe''.'. . .The Metsfinallysigned
their number one number one draft pick, blind centcrfielder "Deadeye" Dirt
"field: The team has requested the league to use a black ball at night to Keep
the rest of'the players on the same terms as Deadeye . .•. '
,
Commissioner Bowie Kuhn announced an important rule change today.
On a slow grounder in front of the mound, the batter may yell "cheap" if he
chooses not to run it out. The new rule is expected to improve batting
averages and prevent back injuries to stooping pitchers.
On the local baseball scene, we have some tragic news. Queens punchbal.l
champion "Fingers" Fisherman was thrown off the Junior High School 172 .
punchball'tcam alter brass knuckles wercfound in his locker yesterday
Pro-Football:
Wasliinglon-Duanc Thomas broke a-personal record today in speaking
three consecutive sentences to a sports writer....
Miami- Lurry Csonka received the most enthusiastic player award today.
His only comment was "Who the-- cares'.'"....'
s,
There* were two more outs to go that year the man up at bat—Boog
BuffaloThe
Dills
today
traded
star
halfback
O..I.
Simpson
to
the
N.I-'.C
Powell
•'
(or the Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers,"and Minnesota Vikings...
He hit an easy fly to right But Blomberg dropped the ball
the Ford Corporation has, once again, got a belter idea. Inorderlokeep
So when the dust had settled it was plain enough to
up with the limes, Ihey have announced that next year's football halftime
That Paul Blair was on 3rd base 90 feet from victory!' '
contest shall be changed to the I'unt, I'asS, Kick, and Streak competition
(any girls, ages 17-21, wishing to enter the fourth category may call for an
The next man up was Brppksie in.'his 37th year V
appiontment at 7-4511. Early evening, please.)....
He was the wiley veteran the man-.Sparky Lyle'feared
Basketball:
A 2-2 pitch from Sparky— and a ground ball hit to Gene
Boston-Celtic chuckcr-star Hondo llavlichuck wa> recently heard to say .
A lock'for two outs here, with the Yanks new DP machine
during a hulltimc rest, "No, 1 don't expect those assinine underhand shots
.to go in cither!"
.•.•'",'
So Michael scooped it in his glove and flipped to Horace Clarke
Next game is away at Onconla in a Nets- Larry. Kenon admitted his personal feelings about coach Kevin
1 oughery today. "I think he's kinda cute" said the rookie sensation....
SUNYAC conference match which
who promptly stepped on second base as if it was a lark
Knlcks- Bill Bradley silenced his doubters today as he actually dunked a
promises
to
be
quite
a
meeting,
He quickly spun and threw to first as all the,fans 'twent wild
Onconla being the .number one
basketball, (Rumor has it that Bradley did the dunking in u ncrf-haskctball
Surely, finally, the gods of ball on the Yankees, again, smiled.
team- I'his should offer some indica- game on a seven loot basket.) Coach Red Holzman revealed today that a
tion.of how far Albany has come in love affair between John Gianclli and trainer Danny Whelan is threatening
Oh somewhere out in center field the memories still remain...
just two years of varsity competition to break up the team...
<pf. Joltin Joe and Mickey out in their qUfdomains,
in hockey.
N.C. State- It's now been three days since David Thompson's last leap tinAM somewhere Lazzcri lies in pease
der the hoop, and he hasn't come down yet. Teammate Tom Burleson says .
! Aid" Richardson now screams.
that Thompson is expected to landsamet'ioeiiiiext weekend......
f^fs^ftftPVIc**. Horace's relay sailed into.the mezzanine.
Lomchmn Leaws
Special Stashm
of Central Council
Charge DbtinguUhed
Teacher's Award
Political Travesty
by Carole Zingmiin
by Doug Horwilz
In a special Central Council
Political science professor Berbudget session, highlighted by action
nard K. Johnpoll has charged that
taken concerning li.O.I'.S.A. and
the nominating procedures of the
Music Council. Chairperson Eric
Distinguished
Teaching
l.onselicin walked out of Ihe
Professorship award as practiced at
meeting, visibly angry over the
Albany State isa "politicaldcaPand
refusal of Kudget Committee
a "fraud". "The very nature of the
members to respect a request by the
contest and the way it is run leads to
Chair to remain seated in the speccorruption" Johnpoll said only days
tator section.
alter withdrawing himself from the
I .iiiiscIiein's move came during a
competition he was nominated to.
break in Council routine between
.lohnpoll's basic objection to the
budget reviews. He had proposed the
award concerns its contest atmillion lo remove liudgcl committee
mosphere, "leaching isn't a commembers from the Council table,
petition, if I wanted competition 1
slating that they were loo disruptive.
would have slayed in the newspaper
Lonscheiu's million was aimed
business" he said.
specifically at Dai id Coyne, a committee member, who refused to
Last year was the first year that
follow the Council's request:
Chancellor Uoyer's office grunted
the annual teacher awards. The
When committee member Coyne
awards are subdivided into two
allempied to he recognized 10 speak
groups: the Distinguished leaching
oil the Amateur Radio Club's
professorship applicable only to unbudget, l.onselicin slated he would
Western Avenue, when SUN VA students often take apartments.
dergraduate associate professors or
mil rceogni/c Coyne and subsefull Hedged professors and the State
queiilly. milked mil alter Coyne
University Chancellor's Award for
priilesled.
Excellence in leaching open to all
In a rather healed budget session.
undergraduate teachers who carry a
Council soled lo separate lueiva
lull teaching load. The teachers who by Sue Leboff
Central and Lake opened in
phones all the landlords in the book l.ulina. the organi/alion of Puerto
arc finally chosen as the winners of
An apartment referral service, January, and is run by two young
e\ cry day. in order to make sure the Rican and I.iitiii-American students
either ol these awards (final selection concentrating mainly on transient men front Washington D.C.. Evan
properly is still available. Currently lipni h.O.I'.S.A.
is made by the SUNY Trustees) will Albany Stale students seeking off- I Itivis, the owner, and Jim Harnhart.
I he Kudget Committee was
the service lists G00 available places
curry with them u new status title and campus residence, may be in viola- the manager. Ijjey keep their service
lor rem every day; Mr. Davis hopes ieconvened lo decide front where the
some cush.
tion of the Federal Fair Housing open until S P.M. sevendaysawcek.
lo hoosl that to KMXIhy the summer. money should he appropriated to
The Professorship award Act.-theASlMias learned. I he possi- and limy arc the uiics.uho supplied
I he listings are very explicit. )| fund the new olgani/alion. Council
guarantees the winner, according to ble violation of the law slcms from I he information for this story.
there isa porch, there is a code-letter recommended that the money came
the Chancellor, "tenure in rank if it the nature of the business which the
I he way Kenlex works is this: which indicates il. If no pels are hum li.O.I'.S.A.
has not already been attained and a company. Kenlex. pursues.
Separation was lite general concenAnyone looking for any kind of ren- allowed, il ihere's a reliigeralor.
salary increase (provided for in camsus ol ihe ISI Spanish surname
I he owner of the business, Evan tal properly, whether il he an apart- thai is coded in loo.
pusbudgets in ensuing years) of up to I >uvis. admitted that if a landlord re- ment in the city or a farm, or even a
What it a landlord only wants students as SUNYA. according lo
$2,500." I'he Excellence in Teaching quested that his apartment not be trailer, can go lo Kenlex. und. for
while lenunls'.' Ves, even that's coded Hector Vuijus. spokesman for l-ueraward "will carry with it a sum of sold In blacks, lor example, il is in $.10.00. lake nut u "policy".
in. hnl not us clearly. Ihere's u V /u I. ul ina. I he only group representin
$500."
I he power ol Kenlex, to see lo il that
I his policy, which is good lor a next In lisiings like thai (currently Puerto Kieun and l.ulin-Amciicun
Nominees for both of these Macks simply do not discover the ex- year, entitles the prospective tenant
there are around 15 ol them) and students.
awards are chosen at each slate cam- istence ol the available housing.
I k'liiunils lot' scparalion were basIn first ol all look at "for rent"
ihul is II clue lo the Kenlex employee
pus. I'he Chancellor requires that
In addition. Kenlex oilers a free listings in u black hook, similar to
lhal prospective tetiunls who are ed upon ihe reccitl tensions, starling
there he two separate und indepen- rntimmutc referral service, available the one in the off-campus housing
black should he steered away from in IV7I. between thcadniinistraliiin
dent nominating committees, "one lo students who already have olticc. bin larger and guaranteed to
lhal properly. Ml. Dinis. who did ul I..O.I'.S.A.aud llieoiiereprcscncomposed entirely of undergraduate apartments, and those who do not. he up lo date.
nut seem anxious lo hide ihis prac- lulne «l I'.K.O.I.I . IMUH..I...
nuiliinicil nit /nine 17 I he little stole on llie corner ol
A Kenlex employee theoretically
tice, .justified a by' saying iluu the precursor ol luei/u l.uiinu. was
landlords soiiieUines liaie tenants :i committee ol I.O.I'.S.A. formed
tvlto won'l live with blacks in the lo ileal primarily will) ihciutereslsof
Spanish-speaking students.
simie building.
Varjlls also sighted the fuel llllll
I'ltnd Item and Quantlt}
Albrni) Public M u r k i ' l
According lo section SIM ol ihe
Mwji Kile
(.mini 1 iilnii
A * 1'
Price (huppcr
Hearliund Cereal 1 Ih.
75
. I.nlin.75
.*.'
.7.1
7.1
federal I an Housing Act. il is un- iilihiiiigli money lor
Grape Jelly W o * .
.55- d.l
5.1- 59
41
„w- 5.1
.47
\ineiieun students «us uplawful
lo
"make
prim
or
publish,
or
Whole Whcul Bread, t Ih.
55- M
55
55- ,ft.l
111
.42- .55
cause to be made printed, or publish- pnipnaled Ihis year to li.O.I'.S.A..
1 ah d-12-ll. [>/. cutis
I.IM
11
1.114
1,115
114
Coin 6-12 It. t)/. cans
1 IM
.75-1.(15
114
ed any notice, stulemeiil. or adver- there were no programs planned for
Hamulus 1 lb.
Id
17
,l(,
12
tisement, wiih respect lo lite sale or these students, Ihis was due lo the
lima lisli ft /' t)/.
.49. d.i
5'/- li'J
53- 05
.5.1- .(il
rental ol a dwelling that indicates lael. Viirjas added, that the
Inslani Oatmeal V IM.
.55
.57
55
.55
Chuck Sicak (bone in)
1.79
(>7
si
any preference, limitation, or dis- I.O.I'.S.A. governing board did not
KX
I m
Hollom Hound Roast
IM
I.M
I.4K
crimination bused on race, .color, have a l.uiin-Aincrcaii represenI 19
Ground Chuck
1 .IN
1.29
1.29
1.119
religion, or national origin". Ihis tative.
1.99
Sirloin Slcuk
l.7'l
|.71
I.SS-1.99
Council member Andy lioldslcin
raises ihe distinct possibility thai
Hound Slcuk
im
U1-2.II1
I'M
I.9S
99
llacon
.99-1.59
1.29-1.09
1.15-1.59
Kenlex operates in violation of u reminded Council lhal the situation
K9-I.49
1 59
Cork Chops (ccnicr)
I.IN-1.57
|.Sf
1.59
I'cderul law. bin the owner does not existed since il was |-uer/a l.alina's
ll'J
lamb Loin Chop*
1.49
1.57
1.71
appear to he conscious ol this pcroguthc not to he represented on
lurkcy (16 lbs. & under, iro/cn)
1.211
.HI
.(il
.95
• 1.27
the h.O.I'.S.A. governing board.
Chicken, broilers & Iryers {under 3 llu 1 l.4d
possibility.
.05
.11
.45- .51
.09
HoustTiiB Chickens (.t'/,-4 lbs 1
.09
.75
.01
Ilierelore. Ihis was done hy their
Uncertainties
ul
ihis
nature
aside,
'15
Irunklurlers 1 lb.
.11-1..11
III'). 1.41
.91-1.59
1.09-1.4.1
does Kenlex work? According lo own choice.
79
71
.K7- K1
.79
lings Grade A. large 1 do/en
.77
David Coyne commented on the
,2.1
Carrot* 1 lb.
Mr. Davis, every customer who
2(1
211
.211
.19- .21
1.1
Celery 1 lb.
21
,11- .51
.15- .41
looks tor housing ul an available issue ol separation by staling that
,4.1
I.ctluce 1 head
..11- 41
4')- 51
.11
..IS- ,4«
price can get a place through Kenlex, only lour years ago, S.A. was
2.1.57
22.51
211.11
HM
I here is u very small percentage ol responsible lor landing all students.
tin' t'lltli
('"('
Ihf tnutii <•/ , 1 , in ,i n i ' j ul n c « / WI/» •iuuitl,rl\ ill llu' Ml'iun uifii iliti nil, III) ilutiiilIn
people who don't eventually find I hen. h.O.I'.S.A. us funded under
wnta //(•//) (i'« t'l u i m i/iilal // (In r llllll alum;
whul Ihey wunt. Ihe Kenlex die ssunipiioii lhal all students are
Uimiuutrtlh
ih, mm 'Mil till'1 nil, III nil' nil 1,'liuiin. •Sim/I Hlii'i\ilwi
mwitili'i'xIH' i / H I . (IIIIIIII 1 mull liunlicounselors say they iry lo discourage not the same. Now. he said, Latin, ,ii. Im i iluu lilt it im, I'A IIIIIM iover (/(C ID.W ul nutlim HUIII/I*
,•./ fuu imniulh In,
/ W (/,..,.,.,• l„,l ni ii ,• „ * , II II llllll III, nlln'1 \ltin'\ nlli'n'il mill u inn 1 '/lllll'/ll it In il mini.
people who ask for property they American siudenls contend thill
tilt' iiitiil\
iif>
don't believe exists, although no one h.O.I'.S.A. can not meet their needs,
"" i iii,- t>nw/i I I I ' ../(I'll iluu' nin i/ HIIIKI:
Coyne asked Council what is to
is ever unequivocally turned away.
ntiitimmt on paRt 5
amtmut'tl ail pugv 6
Albany Area Referral Agency May Be
in Conflict with Equal Housing Law
1
They Said It Shouldn't Be Done...KICK Is Here!
check the center section
Three Hopefuls Deep In
Presidential Elections Conclude Next Month
A Planning ConferenceforSeniors
It ii for this reason, among others,'
by M M n FUkkt
Senior week will be held this year that those who usually shyed away
front May 19to2i', Many,activities from student activities make senior
are planned, among them Woody] week their "one last dying chance to
Alien mill Marx Brothers movies, a get involved." Only, this year, they
beer blast, an all — day trip to Mon- don't seem to be coming through.
treal, . a dinner at the races in Good things are being acSaratoga, and.a boat cruise on Lake complished, but only a few have
their hands in the planning and the
George;
Senior week ends school the way it cry is out for more people.
Thirty students showed up at an
began.' It's like Summer Planning
Conference all over again. The Un- interest meeting held in January and
it was decided to have a referendum
iversity's in the hands of a hedonistic
few, who know there's a future, but to determine whether or not the
want to have a good time first. And Senior class actually wanted Senior
even though it's an end now, and week. The results were 320 — 20 in
everyone's older and maybe wiser favor. Unfortunately, only four
the sentiments are nevertheless the students attended a second meeting
held in early March.
ACT Now
Accessment of Courses and
Teachers (ACT), an SA funded
organization, will soon begin distribution of evaluation qucstionaircs
in eyery undergraduate section. The
purpose of the survey is to disburse
uniform student evaluations, the
results of which will be compiled and
published in booklet formduring the
summer and made available to those
interested members of the university
community. -Please contact Dave
Abramoff through .the SAbfficc in,!
C.C. 346 with any questions of comments you may have regarding this
project.
.. .•
Senior class president, Jeff Bernstein chairperson of the week which
begins on Sunday, May 19, blamcsa
lot of the involvement on bad
publicity. He claims he unsuccessfully tried to get an article about the second meeting printed in the ASI'iind
finally had to settle lor a Graffiti
item Some disgruntled seniors.,
though, who did attend the first
meeting, think that their subsequent
non-involvemcn i was due to the feeling that Myskaniu and others in high
/positions would run the whole thing
, anyway.
In spite of this, Ueanna Gould,
who has never been overly involved
in student activities, was appointed
co — chairperson and the planning is
now under way. On Sunday night
those present will have their last
chance to enjoy "beer gushing out of
the Campus Center" along with a
band and two Woody Allenfilms.A
bus trip to Montreal is scheduled for.
Monday and dinner and a night at
the races in Saratoga for Tuesday.
Other highlights will include a three
hour ride complete with an eighteen
man jazz band to Lake George and a
clam bake at Mohawk campus.
It will be possible to buy tickets
for the activities individually and
Jeff Bernstein is trying to arrange a
discount price for those who
purchase tickets to all the events.
None of this has developed
without pain. The Senior class funds
have been frozen until they produce
a constitution. Bernstein says that
this has not affected the planning
yet. and that he has written a constitution which will be submitted in a
few days. He promises that, "Senior
week will take place." Considering
that they've already overcome
problems concerning a Lake George
boat under repair and a motor pool
reluctant to cart seniors off to
Mohawk, this is believable.
Jeff Bernstein appears to be enjoying it all, but he still admits, "I'm
sure I'll be in bankruptcy at the end
of the year and they'll throw me in
jail." For all those who would like to
join him or help him, Dcunna Gould
is taking names and the number in
Albany is 457-5240.
•' paired. Halper resigned shortly after the alleged breach
by Richard Nordwind
Elections for S. A. President in the past few years have of rules.
Gayle Knibloe is currently an R.A. on Indian Quad,
seemed more like street fights than politics. Name calling, innuendos, and gossip, formed the basis for much of and though new to student government, she served this
year as an advisor to S.A. President Steve Gerber.
recent campus politics.
Internationa
UNDATED- Israel bolsters front line forces on the Golan Heights and
steps up a military alert to check Syrian troop movements as clashes erupt lor
the 21st straight day. Story on page nine.
NEW YORK - The Russians were shipping quantities of their own
petroleum products to the United States at the same time they were encouraging the Arab oil boycott against this country. Story on page nine
BELFAST - British troops scaled off an IRA stronghold in downtown
Belfast in a search for terrorist weapons. Prime Minister Wilson prepared to
discuss Ulster violence with cabinet in London.
National
NEW YORK - A government fraud case investigator told the jury in the
Mitchell-Stuns trial his superiors tried to prevent revelation of a $200,000
donation by financier Robert L. Vescoto President Nixon's re-election campaign.
WASHINGTON - Jury selection begins lor the trial of Dwight L. Chiipin,
President Nixon's former appointments secretary, who is charged with King
In a grand jury.
WASHINGTON (AH)-The Supreme Court Monday upheld a controversial lederal law requiring banks to keep extensive records and report to the
government on large cash transactions by their customers.
The d to 3 decision sustained the government's contention that the law's
provisions were a constitutionally permissible means to counter increasingly
sophisticated crime.
I NIMTED- Americans are paying record prices lor gasoline now thai
the Arab embargo is over. But the prices vary considerably, even within a
single community, as Associated Press survey shows.
WASHINGTON (AP) - The Supreme Court today upheld the cunsliluliomilily of a village ordinance banning communal living.
In a 7-2 decision, the court said the ordinance prohibiting more than two
unrelated persons from living in one-family dwellings in Belle I'errc. NY.,
was a reasonable method of governing land use.
I he ordinance was challenged on grounds that it violated constitutional
guarantees ol privacy and the right to free association.
Writing for the majority. Justice William O. Douglas, said: "It is said thai
the Belle lerfe ordinance reeks with an animosity to unmarried couples who
live together. I here is no evidence to support it."
PASADENA, Calif. (AH) - A tiny moving object which sceintists say iniiv
be a moon circling Mercury has thus far eluded Mariner 10's powerful
cameras, despite an intensive space search.
The cameras scanned the neighborhood of Mercury on Sunday, seeking
the mysterious object which was delected by the probe's ultraviolet instruments,
"It is clear that there is a strong source of radiation detached from Mercury and ill apparent motion relative to the planet,''said Dr. M.E. McElroj
ol Harvard University.
Mariner, speeding away from Mercury and already more than a million
miles I nun the planet, conducted the moon hunt despite an electrical problem
that threatened to silence the 1,100-pound probe.
.Scientists repotted Sunday on their first impression of Mercury gleaned
from information sent back Friday, when Mariner sped past thephinct about
45(1 miles above the surface - a distance comparable to that between I .is
Angeles and San Francisco,
I )r. Bruce Murray, head ol the Mariner television team, said the craiered
surface of Mercury i.s strikingly like the moon but the interior seems to he
more like that ol the earth.
State
'
Paramount Picluto/p't/cnt/
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PAGE TWO;
BQ^ontr«rwvrtbvfXOITfn2IS«fllD
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS'
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP)- Gov. Malcolm Wilson signed a half-billion dollar
transportation bill Monday to subsidize muss-transit fares across the stale
and to help upstate freight and passenger railroads.
The first payments under the new law will be distributed in May, Wilson
said alter conferring with Transportation Commissioner Raymond Shuler.
The bill contains $70 million to maintain the 35-cent fare on New York
City subways and buses at least through the November general election, $20
million for commuter railroads into New York City and $10 million for up
state bus systems. All money must he matched by local governments;.
Wilson said that, if the federal government grants his request tor another
$200 million, fares could be maintained at least until May of next year.
ALBANY - I he State Department of Environmental Conservation ordered
consolidated lidison Corp. to slop burning coal lit its Arthur Kill Unit 3 on
Stuten Island.
Sunday's decision also forbade the utility from using coal at its
Ranveswood Unit 3 in Queens.
I he state ordered
Con lid to use residuul fuel oil to the maximum extent possible and gave permission to use high-sulfur fuel only when low-sulfur fuel is unavailable.
The ruling did not forbid the use of coal as an emergency source of
generator power. The slate agency allowed Con Ed to continue to stockpile
coal pending federal decisions on what utilities will be required to use coal to
save petroleum products.
Commissioner James L. Biggane said Con Ed contends the use of coal at
Ravcnswood and Arthur Kill could save $100 million a year,
TUESDAY APRIL 2, 1974
Knibloe's main concern going into this election is an
Lost somewhere in the background of the campaigns
were the real issues affecting Albany State's student association and aura that has been built around her in
body: student power, the tenure process, S. A. budgeting, regard to her personal contact with the present Student
Association.
the expanding administration bureaucracy.
In an effort to raise the campaign level, this year's canPat Curran rounded SUNYA PIRG, sat as Vicedidates for S.A. President, Wayne Helper, Gayle
Knibloe, and Pat Curran, say they will refrein from per- Chairperson of Central Council, and was a member of
sonal attacks and strident rhetoric. All three hope that the University Senate.
viewpoints, not personalities, decide the 1974 election.
Curran became the topic of serious questioning on the
"We want to make this a model campaign," Gayle
Knibloe said, but noted, "Sometimes it's not so easy to part of his fellow Councilmembers last year who felt that
he failed to fulfill his duties as Vice-Chairperson. He
do."
nonetheless drew his stipend check for that position.
If not quite model candidates yet, the three at least give
Reports say that at least once, Curran was asked to
the appearance of model citizens of the campus comresign from Council, though he never did.
munity. Wayne Halperhas been active in such SUN YA
The ASP interviewed the three candidates this past
organizations as the University Senate, Council on
Promotions and Continuing Appointments,and AMIA. weekend, less than three weeks before election days
(April 17.18, IV). While Halper, Knibloe, and Curran all
After an incident with the CPCAover policy matters, expressed a strong desire to win the Presidency, each was
surprisingly nonchalant about the upcoming election.
llalper resigned from that committee.
Halper, according to CPCA members, violated one of "Win or lose. I'll be in student government next year,"
its rules on the maintenance of confidentiality. His effec- Wayne Halper commented. "It's not the end of the
tiveness, they say, as a Council member was seriously im- world."
with Veep Candidate
Andy Bauman. Ira Birnbaum,and
Ken Wax are the announced candidates for the Student Association
Vice-Presidency. All the candidates
vow to keep the campaign clean and
have refused to comment about their
opponents. The one recurring issue
amongst them concerns more quad
power, and more quad programming.
Andy Bauman is the assistant
coordinator of SASU here. He was
also on the Budget Committee, and
the University Senate. Many Central C'ouncilmen feel that his job at
SASU does not provide enough experience for the vicc-prcsidcncy.
Ken Wax is on. Central Council.
Some of the committees he is on arc:
Finance Committee, Appointments
Reviewing Committee, and
Solicitations Committee. But he
notes. "I haven't been a maverick
legislator." Wux's main potential
weakness is a feeling that he is "not
serious enough" to be vice-president.
Ira Birnbaum is also on Central
Council. He is on Finance Committee. Budget Committee, Election
Reforms Committee, and the Miami
Investigation Committee. He served
us chairman on the latter two committees. Some Central C'ouncilmen
feel thut Birnbaum is "too naive, not
mature enough, and doesn't really
know the workings of the Student
Association" to be VP.
i
Jeff Sherman is still gathering
names to run but is undecided
whether he wants to be a candidate.
Barry Davis is the out-going VP.
Davis believes that the vicepresident "must be well liked, respectable and good with people. The
students must heablc to relate to him
and most important of all, he must
he capable of learning quickly." said
Davis. The job pays HUB dollars u
i Andy Bauman
Andy Bauman would "stress u
strong commitment to the Student
Assembly of the Stale Universities
(SASU) if elected vice-president. He
is assistant coordinator of SASU
here. According to Bauman. SASU
Florida may have been hot during acts as a representative lor students
the February inlersession, but thai III the New York State Legislature. ,
was nothing compared to the burKen Stokeni is the SASU coorning Eric l.ongsliein received in dinator at the university. Hut
Albany for his role in the Miami af- Hauiiuin noted that Stokeni
fair. While students camped outside "dropped out of working" and is
"not staying involved" with SASU.-.
Accordingtrt.somc SASU members,
llauniaii is in charge here.
Hatinian complained ihal SASU
"didn't do anything" last semester.
So this semester lie "look it upon"
himself "to get the student lobby
Pat Curran Gayle Knibloe Wayne Halper\
It's in mj blood, Pat Curran says
of his role in Albany campus politics.
"I got involved in student government as soon as I got here. This year
I tried, to cool it for a while, concentrate on my studies, you know, but I
Ciayle Knibloe's meteoric rise in
S.A. politics began only last
summer. As a C. A. lor summer planning conferences, Knibloe worked
closely with Steve Gerber on roientalions to freshmen on student
moving." Bauman said he "went to
finance Conunillee" and got $1440
to'''publicize SASU. He explained
that $350 went to peoples con?
Icrciiccs and about SIKH) was appropriated for publicity, from 20.000 in 30,000 brochures, pamphlets
I itlllillllftl
nil pttfii' 4
'" Ken Wax
couldn't stay uninvolved for long."
Even in his year of semiretirement from political life, Curran
was busy. He helped organize the
consumcrisl-oricnted N.Y. PIRG
group on campus, and now he sits on
the governing board of the organization. PIRG is still battling lor funding under the mandatory student
tax. and Curran is an active participant in that fight.
"I guess I just like to organize,"
said Curran. But he credits all the
members of PIRG for the group's
remarkable success.
While not active in campus
politics this year, Curran remained
an interested observer of student affairs. He has not been enthusiastic
about the administration of Steve
Gerber. I n general Curran criticizes
the S.A. for lack of responsiveness to
student needs.
According to Curran, the trio of
Concert Board, SUNYA Cinema,
and Quad Boards, arc most deserving of S.A. aid. Inevitably other
S.A. funded groups would suffer
from Curran's policy. Nevertheless
Curran says that the needs of the
greatest number of students are served best by "having better, cheaper
concerts, and more free movies.'"
Curran would directly apportion
funds to the Quad boards, on the
agreement that they come up with
plans for spending the money. Com
muters too should receive funds to
establish a group, Curran said
"hopefully more than just a com
muter club,"
Lust year Curran helped arrange a,
meeting between Mayor Corning!
niiiiimtvtl on puge 4
TUESDAY APRIL 2, 1974
government. So impressed was Gerber with Knibloe that he chose her to
he a member of his Cabinet in the
fall.
"But I'm basically a non-political
person." Knibloe says. "My
background is mostly in counseling." However, Knibloe believes that
her experiences as an R.A. and a
C.A. will stand her in good stead as
S.A. President. "I'm familiar with
both student and administration
points of view. And I mean grass
roots student point of view. 1 will be
a fresh voice in the S.A., not just
another old face."
Only Knibloe, of the three candidates, has a position in the present
Gerber administration. This has led
to accusations that Knibloe merely
speaks lor the current S.A.
leadership. Knibloe denies any
charge of cronyism.
"I'm my own person. I'm not a
spokesman
for a n y b o d y .
Steve Gerber and Barry Davis have
helped me out—shown me the ropes
so to speak—but this doesn't bind
me to them." Knibloe does think that
the Gerber administration has
"shown more flexibility and sincerity" than the previous Lumpen administration.
Despite her positive sentiments
about the current leadership,
Knibloe still feels that a "housecleaning of S.A." is needed badly. She
points to the Miami scandal as an example of poor judgment on the part
of the S.A. hierarchy.
More power and money should be
given to the Quud Boards, in
Knibloe's opinion, so us to "give
euiulmml oil page 4
the campus center Council Chairperson l.ongsliein waited indoors and
obtained tickets lor the special
Miami bus. The first to notice
l.ongsliein was one of the campers,.
Wayne Halper.
"I saw him In the campus center,
and I shouted 'Why is Eric
l.ongsliein allowed in the building'.'"'
Halper spoke out vehemently
against Longshein's activities in
Central Council meetings. "Since
then," Halper relates,"nobody in the
S.A. will speak to me."
Kor Halper the Miami incident
was "just one example of the special
privilege enjoyed by high S.A. officials." His dissatisfaction with student government led him to enter the
race for S.A. President.
"Clique rule" predominates in the
S.A., Halper argues. "People sit on
six or seven committees when other
people arc dying to get on one."
Halper believes that succeeding in
S.A. is a function of knowing the
right people.
"Since the S.A. is u closed group,"
Halper continues, "they have no
need to have direct communication
with the students. Steve Gerber told
everyone thut he would open up
S.A., but he never has."
Special privileges and a closed student government are behind many of
llalper's grievances with the S.A.
Halper believes that he has ways to
counteract these abuses. If elected,
Halper said that he will not accept
any privilcgs, including the $1500
salary paid the S.A. President.
Direct lines of communication ||
wiih the students, possibly with the
ctmthiwtl mi page 4
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
"Power to the quads." said Ken
IWttx, a Central Council member
from Dutch Quad. He would like to
see "increased power in terms of in|creased money" go to the quads.
Wax noted that people Identify with
their quads and offered Stale quad
as an example. Wax wants to
"decentralize SA" and make quud
hoards more powerful. He added
that SA should "be kept for special
stuff - like clubs and Speakers
forum."
Each quad should specialize in
something, Wax noted, I-or example, Dutch has Albany Stale
Cinema. Indian - Henways. and
Slate has I ower East,said Wax.The
vice-presidential candidate noted
that if "each quad hud its own instrument, they'll get stronger and so
will the students." Wux added that
mandatory tax's "days arc
numbered."
Wax would like to set up an
organization to act us a "clearinghouse" so that quads can spread out
their events. This way everything
would mil fall on the same weekend,
lie added.
One Central Council committee
Ken Wax is on, is the Appointments
Reviewing Committee, litis committee looks over the qualifications
of persons for jobs such as comptroller, and the Supreme Court. He
added that the commmittee's
coiiliiitii'tl mi I'tlge 4
Ira Birnbaum
"The most important thing is the
search for a successor to President
Bcnezct." said Ira Birnbaum, a Central Coucilmun from Alumni quud.
He added. "I would like to do
whatever I could to sec there is a
good deal of active student participation" in the appointment of a
new president.
Birnbaum. if elected vicepresident, would "stress quud
programming more." He cxpluincd amines existing Haws in the election
thut "the most direct wayol reaching laws" and tries to "increase and
students is to make student lux iacilitale student participation" by
worth 64 dollars. And the "best way" making the laws more fair.
ol that is "through quud programHe was also chairman of the
ming." Birnbaum added, . i . .'. :", Miami Investigation Committee
Birnbaum is u member of linance which looked into the "impriorities
Committee and Budget Committee. of the affair and class officers." Last
He is also chairman of the Election yeur he was president of the Alumni
Reforms Committee. According to . quad hoard. ,,mllmmi
on ,me 4
Birnbaum, this committee "ex-
PAGE THREE
— Gajfc
Curran Examines Concern*
intifaimn/from
00WGt 19 ABBflMfc M M SMtf IB*.
' * ' • ' i**
•• -
J
— • 4 M
^tu__<
fK(y
UKaw* d H W M B K CaBKf3MCZW
*** • -
ftdp of WSUA (Kaftan. « * » » ««
feitk » M | Halpef's &» of
pmwS '
C o r a u a t e sa^RaanaVBarwaoa
[tele asses:
—Gw» CtHUroh Carraa
c a « » s . t e a aiSryaiaj taciensj
P o 6 x 10 can? fsaa. *tf ttej true
p e n tfteVre k » a d to aae tkes.*
Ctman arguea. Caareal iraaakataja recpstssiseiai tor fuas areaHirf(iaaa. ia Canaa** ejei.
-E.Q.F.: Wssfc Corns SseEtica
t-O.P. *6oa2d &e actooatabfe to tie
X..A-, &e aseiifcri mcflt c. E-O.P.'s
demaadi feaiosabk. "Black
make** fene toid age that tfcej look
'Mas? it.ii.enti ;-.!(!. aeptlrrt ajKKj tfw S . A . » a while troep. ras
Jee&i-ft 2&i»t 'r.isv. S5taJ«t: 1 ase k u h j white fcaden. Oalj the
ap»a« o< !ite>£ (iertKr. jo he Ssaaa't tO.P.S.A. » respondent to Bbek
-..i.i b> (ace t»"a; < i.vi erf p-:o>.':e—." StodbaH' need*-"
Firr-QuaJ Ambulance Sorter.
?. :'*,--,:if.r > Csruza betanea tSat *
i.::..-.:r.f iead« *.:.-.--..; b a d i s f .1 S.A. wweld raid therw«Kj toboj a
*ttrfc(e<*. Mjiaaj. Th< Preiideal sen arrA«jlaii«e." Curraa ajress that
matU fofi>>-» the «cdeot*i * n i « i . the tshtruty «5ooSd ntht/oHy loot
«CT» ,r fte doCHi'E ilTsav* a^ree with the bilL b"Jt JOKC the Lnr.ttMty a
rdaetans to do *o. the S. A. mint u i t
liiesTS."
Mae mutative
U i e lbs otJwt Candidas**. Curran
"I realty hetaeie that K>vernn«TH'«
detects a ^ideipfead dngruntlesnent
with S,A- aetr.ii»e>. "(he Miami in- pnroar-i rctpotHibility tt the faith of
cwlera eijxdafij earned iu*Jem« to the people." Curran coniidaed hi»
«<>*r >a*h :n ihew govsmment. The word* fof a moment. "I hope that
S,A. -.;:'i.-..;.; utvohed thoald haw docul'l tound iske a pre-a/rar.«cd
campaign tpecch."
b-KO p«rmhed in tome way.""
W*tas t» pnttm the
*
anoeitica.
•Aaxxk of" efficMspss
seaiest*.flbreatesas*ft?the eatf a*itiaiiifralwiin
T h e atectisg
linKmrfittv 5<oe*«S air; city aclsoa.
Cotnpa'ruem be'.-mtsm i&e
tjtmpctt
*i!r;.<U!*:i:xjtt. »Side
t >ff*a »*i c:V.ieiv a»Mcaced) i»i«taij ::-.c Gsxhvr Eexaenaie) are osarjwdafcfe, *La«e»n «w«t4rf SKS
»;,.-. tte adminiiinanKi. rfe a^»a}»
viaei. . ? (of \'TAax r,ffj.i. fees lie
oaf itet jj!'>a.-i-.»is dea£iaa> -»-.;h. :ee
KiwHf«i«
Seatdcs* m&mm 4tmM a t e fee
stKAuraaeri at »ea»isi ceaar-. vA
bnuied aganat »s atfrnoutualaw
-wv»e so fittx the goal *tia4riwa(
**fts after « e * * » s e i <rf ttaam.
*We sfeauf tune to sane 56»% ito4tstt wawaaaariwi isn a3 4 s a i « n maftia* Sedjea."
r , r , K « b » a J » a i i a i itaarf--;*
(fee'ef&yanwg asuQKa mix*:
—G«n Cejrurof?~M, a Buemfcer of
(fee Seaass SsM>/<ww»t» &o
tasfS" i I fcwised w.*f -h-ere ar- irf.*.-.?,» j;.ei ..- <;';.-.-» ,r.2 qtsaSsled (..".roiatj Pr/Ste Sft carry gars*. T&rre
nasi, fee £••*} trastsag. aad vtxie?.
s-opwwww.. aBKJ I mean reaSy, reatfy.- iwkj," Krwbfce befoae* tfaM
" i i K d University PtAxe are
preferable w State 01 Cit;
if.--.-/;,"-.;j "A* lean t.1!*} anderiiarid Ifce eansau* c//m«MMHiy."
•H.O.I';. KmfeV>ebe.alesv the petty and condeieendiriif alidade* rA
white Modern* l'/»ard bEacis aw:
the E.O.P, program, lo (Hoie »h»,
qucrtiori rbt high budget' F..O.P
receive*. KflifcloeaiHweVt.'^.'fj.Prs/ ftuttutctl fro/11 twze J
the only oijpini/aiion that provides
true bfai$ jwog/ammirig. Whei;e dve recommendation "rv uvualh heeded
doblact ttudenl* have to go?" (-or by Central Council.™
Waja 1* alwj on Hnance Conv
Knibloe, the University i*
miefocovm of (he racial iemi..»nsv in • miltee. When an already existing
group need* additional monies, or
America today.
WfW lloutir. The ichool i* ir when a new group is formed and
needs money, they come to Hnance
desperate need of another gym facili
I), both for athletic*, concert*, and Committee. Wax noted.
Me is also on Solicitations Comspeakers, Knibloe would push for a
Held Mouic on the University and mittee. When a group wants to
•</licit signatures, for petitions.asan
Stale level.
example, they must come to Ihem tor
approval, according to Wax. Headded lhai when a group wants to
Soft-spoken herself, Oayle use the tables in the campus center,
Knibioc trie* lo keep the campa%
ihey must first enrne 10 that comlow-keyed. "Ihe nice thing about mittee.
lhi»election."diesays. I t liiat all the
Wax said that he "hain't hecnthat
candidate* arc friendly on a social involved in legislating hills." Me addlevel. At least up till how* she adds, ed tli.il he was "co-sponvor ol one or
Wayne Halper
A» a oec&er o( the Promotioni
aad AppoioJBienl Committee,
Halper •atfevohed ia coBUovertial
•jsa.-e dettiiooi. before resigning
5*0 eoatte ago. Halpo maintains
d m tjje Cossoittee refused to con««4-r rtodeot 'interesu in tenure
Crc-K-.'-'*'*
"AH the adnsinbtrators care about
»tchotarvhipat>d*cbolasticrecordi.
never teaching ability. Curl Smith
fead the higbett jtudent evaluationi
ra the school, and he »a» denied
tenure. The faculty are all scared shit
of the administration, especially
SroikBi." '
S.A. has (ailed to push hard
enough to change the tenure process.
Halper feels. "The S.A has not
taken an active role—anything (rom
petitions to an overall strike is needed."
(Aher key points in Halper's
program are:
60/1 Control: Qualified Universal r ' c,|lce sh° ul d be allowed to
carry weapons. Only those certified
bv the state could carry weapons,
jnd oniv a few police on each shill
would wear a gun.
Ken Wax Discusses The Issues
•MiMiiiinimiiini
two brils." nut they're 'not icry
significant." "I haven't been a
maverick legislator hut I've spent mv
time lookingathilWfom the students'
point ol '.ic-*,." said Wax.
He noted. "I try my best to look at
.1 billon h«» 11 alfects the individual
iiroup and not just on the particular
idea*, or philosophical merits ol the
group."
Was noicd thai "the viccproidcnc) is not a co-prcsidcnc\."
He would like lo make SA
"something every student can understand and can come to know
what it has lo oiler."
Wax wants an "increased differential" between prices with tax-card
and without. - I he money should
come Irom people outside the •
iiiiiimiiiiimiinmiiiiiiiiii
HARNESS RACING CLUB
wmrm
presents:
Francis J. Mahoney, Jr.
Leading Driver at Green Mountain
Tuesday, April 2
LC 1 8:30 pm
•7
Trip to Stables
at Saratoga
Tour conducted by Jimmy
Allen
Sat. morning, April 20
$1,00 members, $1.50 nonmembers
L
•HiH
PAGE FOUR
All are
welcome
Dinner Trip to
Saratoga Clubhouselj
Including
transportatior,
admission and buffet dinner
I ri„ April 26
Price approx. $6.75
— Money collected at Tues. meeting)
imiimnmiiii
IMIIiiil
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
school." he noted. He added "SA
should keep in mind the priority is
the si udenls. things should he geared
towards him."
Some Central Councilmcn say
that Wax is not serious enough to be
vice-president, that he 'jokesaround
loo much." Wax commented. "I
think humor is a very valuable thing
- it brings out the perspective on
things." "On serious subjects my
ideas come across as 1 intend them
to." Wax noted. He added,
"investigate and look at my record
on issues that I have argued lor they'll show that I am serious."
nuijp Since E.O.P.S.A.
receives the full amount alloted to
them per student by student tax. they
should not be allowed all campus
privileges. Halper stales that all
other-students must have their tax
.noney distributed among all campus groups. E.O.P. members do not.
"Central Council and the budget
committee are afraid to be consistent." Halper charges.
— Central Council: Central Council should receive no budget. ~whv
do students have lo pay for Central
Council members to drink beerr
-Quad
Boards: Each Quad
Board should receive money directly
from S.A.. and on an equal basis.
Victory is doubtful. Halper admits. "People in power tend to
perpetuate themselves in povitr.
Everybody in S.A. knows thev won't
have the same jobs if I'm elected, -o
they work against me." I he S v
power structure has thrown ail its
support behind one candidate,
Halper believes, "so that the iradilion ol S.A. rule will not he broken
next year."
"I'm new at the S.A. pohi c,ii
game." Halper confesses. "This campaign is all my own doing." Ikpointed proudly at small posters
scattered about his room in longer
Hall. I he posters read. "Vole loi
Wayne Halper...End Clique Kino"
"What a slogan." Wavne Halpei
said, and laughed.
Andy Bauman
t'itii.ini\-il Irani /«o,'c J
and ... ,.T paraphenalia on topics
such as consumerism. SASl . and
Pttrch.isC Power will soon be in the
I.V/'. according to Dauman.
Bauman is a member ol the I niversity Senate. Hut he noted. "I
haven't proposed or supported ,in\
hills to Senate because I vvaselcctal
at mid-year and there haven't been
any major issues belore Senate."
Ilauman is also a justice ol the university's Supreme Court. According
to the vice-presidential candidate,
Wax wants unproved relations
"my major effort this vcai was .i>
between the ASI' and SA. He noted
member of Budget Cummr.ia
"my association with both of them
lludgel Committee decides the s \
could he very positive."
appropriations lor next year loi .ill
"I can't think ul too many Council
campus groups.
members with my knowledge ol
Ilauman would like to cm ihecwi
what's going on." said Wax. He added."! have belter qualifications than ol campus activities, lie noted iti.it
students pay M dollars a yeai in stuthe other candidates."
dent lux. On top ol thai students
must pa\ lor dances, movies and
other events, the Dutch quad uudidaleadded. Huunian wants to "> .!
out some events" and "cm down ,>n
prices on all others."
I he budgets ol SA groups should
tuiiliiiiinl Irum pane .r
be cut "across the board bv -i'
Hirnbaum said he introduced 5 said linuman. Hennlcd that this.i.n
bills in Central Council. According one-hail ol the Student 'Vssoci.i'.toii
to him, the bills are: a resolution to activities can be lice.
impeach Presidcm Nixon, a change
We have a Political Social
in the general procedures of SA Positions Committee, said Haiunaii
groups, to appropriate more money He said thill its job is to lake polls
to the Alumni quad board (this hill is Hut Uiiuiiini! added "it's inellectivi
currently up), a constitutional He would like the committee In hi a
amendment to make the impeach- "creative investigative commu'ci'"
ment ol Councilmcn easier (lo he in- for the "working out ol ideas."
troduced by Hirnbaum soon), and
Alumni Quad-is "gelling shalled."
another bill introduced through
said Hiitimun. He nolcd that downl-.lcctKin Reforms Committee that
town students can't sec am late
moved SA voting to the quads and
movies uptown because lluv ""'--1
let students vole where Ihey currentcatch the bus hack downtown
ly live and nut where they intend lo'
lliiiiman would like "mine social lile
live next year.
downtown," He noted thai div"
Hirnbaum noted thill the 64 "budget should be bigger."
dollars students pay a ycur is
"enough." The school should
Some Central Councilmcn said
"charge higher prices for non-tax,
Ihul the job of tissislatil coonltiiuttu'
holders," he nolcd. The Alumni
ol SASl) does not provide enough
quad candidate added Unit for the
experience to he SA Vice-President.
Tom Puxton concert it cost $3.00
with it lax card and $3.50 without.
All the candidates me capable, hut
According lo Uirnnuum it should be
I urn "iur uiid away the mu«i
$2.00 with and $5.00 without.
qualified," said Ilauman.
fuillintial an miKf J
Ira Birnbaum
Speaks Out
Applications Avaiable
Application^ for on — campus
housing Tor the 1974 — 73 academic
year are available this week in all
residence halls and in the Residence
Management Office. ' Students
wishing to live on campus next year
may choose their rooms beginning
April 22 and through May 7. Sign
up priority is based upon class year
and group size.
Prior lo selecting rooms, students
must be photographed for permanent meal curds and must present
their contract card and advance rental deposit of $50 lo the Residence
Management Office in Fulton Hall,
Sttne C/uud. They may then proceed
to the current residence hall,directory of the building in which they
wish to live during the 1974 — 75
year according to the schedules
potted.
Special interest programs will
again be available for students to
participate in — the .4 Plus 2
program on Indian Quad and the
Suyles International House
on Alumni Quad. Both single sex and
coed living situations arc available
throughout the campus. Single
rooms will be offered to undergraduate students at double the
normal occupancy rutc on u space
available basis.
Students who
choose this option may obtain information from the Residence Management Office or from their residence
director.
Details tire available in the on —
cili
housing flyer which will he
pi
hroiighout the residence
h„,
Budget PropotaU To Face Coundl
CommitteeTenned'Tairr'Trusted19
by Dan Galnaa
'
The 1974-1975 Executive Branch
Budget Recommendation is now being reviewed by Central Council.
The Budget is based on the present
student tax and on a slightly lower
income projection for next yeai-j.
The Budget Committee found it
necessary to set priorities; there wits
simply not enough money for every
group to get the funding they
wanlcd. Some philosophical basis
was needed. Howie Grossmun.
chairperson, explained in his note to
Council
the three criteria considered in evaluating the individual
budgets.
l-'irsl. they considered how el-
Council in Review Over Budgets
iiiiiiiinieil from />««<' /
prevent Puerto Kican students as a
unit from wanting to establish their
own group in one year.
With the separation issue finally
resolved, the next area of debate
centered around whether 1 uciva
l.atma should be funded from
I..O.P.S.A. or liomanother source,
Hurry Davis, echoing sentiments
previously expressed by President
(ieiher. said Ihul since Budget Committee appropriated money on the
basis ill past experience, the Committee would look dimly on Hiking
money mil of an already proven
group such as Li.O.P.S.A.
proposed a rider to their budget requiring that any movie they show
end before the last bus leaves for
Draper. The rider failed on a voice
vote. Other members took particular
interest" in certain areas. Florry
Ooldhcrg. for example, was concerned that a group was in existence
for its programming rather than lor
its refreshments. She consistently
recommended elimination of the
refreshment line from all budgets.
• This year's Budget Committee
made a special effort to be honest
with the groups. Ihey discussed each
group's budget in detail in the
presence of the representatives ofthe
groups. Each group was told .right
liciently each group used iis money off thai they would probably walk
litis year and lite overall cost of the mil unhappy. A minimum ol cuts
group's operations. Second. Ihey were made in the final budget review
considered the number of students done in private, and these four or
being reached and the SA subsidy pet live cuts were made lorconsislehcy.
student.
I he committee worked well
Slated Grossman: "Groups that together: they eventually became
served a large number of people and friendly and familiar enough with
hud u reasonable dues and eosl-per- each other's thoughts that discussion
student factor had a belter chance of became efficient. As llorry
being funded while-groups thai served Goldhety put it. "lite committee
lew student while groups (sir) hav- had its heads together."
. rite, inc'mbcrs of Ihe committee,
ing high dues and hud a high costper-sludent factor may not have besides Chairperson Grossmun,
were us follows: SA Administrative
been funded."
The third consideration was tljk: assisiiinls llorry Goldberg. Holly
Although tempers were Haling, pluns the group may have had for lord and Nunc1 Iciger. finance
this threat was said hull in iest.
future programming. Special Events Committee .Chairperson Jerry
Hoard's appropriation was increased Price. Comliollcr Hob Kanarek.
on the basis that they plan lo change Central Council members Ira BirnBudgets lor the Biology Club. in concept so that they will be filling baum and Andy Goldstein. David
Chemistry Club. Dance Council, voids in programming that previous- Coyne. Andy Biiuman. I.indu
(icology Club. Hebrew Club, the ly existed.
Knhoolian. Howie l.ippman.
Pence Project. I he Students of NurThere were only two seniors on
I lie hudgel is. philosophically, an
sing and the Synchronized Swim
effort to reach the largest number of Budget Committee (Kanarek and
knowledge of what's going on in Club were passed us recommended students. Every lime a group is ap- Price): this is because President OerSA." Del ween budget and finance by the Budget Committee.
propriated another dollar, some her wauled the members to have an
committees. "I've come in contact
other SA funded organization must continuing concern for what
with every SA group," said Birnhappens next year.
lose it.
baum.
I he budget is now in the hands of
All groups think, of course, thai
Music Council's budget was
I le added, "my experience as quad
Central Council, who so fur has
decreased. Art Council's budget was the functions they serve arc of great
hoard president made me aware of
taken the committee's reccommenpassed alter money was readjusted, importance; indeed. Budget Comprogramming - one of the most imdalious willt very few exceptions.
and the Amateur Radio Club's mittee discovered thai Ihcre were
portant aspects ol the vicebudget was postponed until a club more groups thill serve the students I Kanarek. SA Comliollcr. explained
president's job."
representative could appear before than could conceivably be fully that il is his hope and the hope of
"1 don't know an awful lot about
many others thai in the near future
funded.
t ouncil.
the workings of SASU.und I'm not
Ihe Committee members came Hudgel Committee will he trusted
entirely lamiliaivvith the working of
Irom different backrounds and 'lor its judgements more than it has
IS A, hut I know more about the S A
naturally looked out lor their own in the past.
itsell. exactly what ilsluuciions and
As SA President Steve (ieiher
Council mem her Lew I idler, com- interests, flic budget does mil relied
responsibilities are, as well as the menting upon the lack ol club this kind of prejudice however, lite pointed out in his memorandum that
role played by the executive and representatives to the meeting, members seemed to have kept each accompanied the budget to Central
legilutivc brunches than the other staled that an effective strategy for other in line, l-or example, the Council, this year's Budget Comcandidates." said Hirnbaum'.
not having a budget cut is by not minutes of the lebruary tenth mittee, under the Chairperson of
"I want to set up a new position to having it representative come to the meeting relates discussion ol Albany Howard Grossman, put in
coordinate various quad hoard meeting. Council usually will not Slate Cinema's budget.
thousands ol hours and worked hard
aeitivilies." said Hirnbaum. lie amend a budget unless a represenDavid Coyne, a former Central to deal efficiently and effectively
wants lo gel "diversity and tative is there lo ilclend the club.
Council member from Alumni. with the SA groups.
worthwhile quad activities which
don't compete with each other."
He added that he would work in
,!>»»; '
"close cooperation with SASU."
Council member Lew lidlercontended that by separating these two
groups, money appropriated to
l-.O.P.S.A. for l.alin-Amcrican
stuileiils should be used to fund
bticr/a l.alina.
Mark Waldman. another council
member, added that since liier/a
Union, according lo E.O.P.S.A.
President l i e d Stokcland, is
duplicating some E.O.P.S.A.
programming, money should not be
taken Irom E.O.P.S.A. since the two
groups are not mutually exclusive.
Allot her healed controversy arose
when the Music Council reprcsen-
talive threatened Council willt the
Consequences of Ihcir decision to
decrease the club's budget by a total
ol close lo $7,000. Council, in
ilelense. threatened lo cut Music
Council's budget.
ha Birnbaum Speak* Out
iiniiiiiiinlJrniii /luxe 4
Hi rn ban in said Albany State
Cinema will maintain the same level
of prices next year. Either they
should be funded enough so they can
charge 25 cents or they shouldn't Refunded • at all. he noted.
Birnbaum gave
iheexiitnpleol the KisingSmile Him
Company which is not funded by
student tax. According to the candidate Ihcir prices "are not
significantly different from that of
the Albany State Cinema."
Hirnbaum urges "strong support
for AC I." AC I stands for the
Assessment of Courses and
I eacliers. I his is a "student run and
student distributed" analysis of
"every course and every teacher,"
said lluiibaum.
Some Central Councilmcn say
thai Hiinhaum's "too niave," and
"not mature enough," and doesn't
have "enough knowledge about S A"
to be vice president)
Birnbaum replied. "I really do have good
SUMMNCE
at Hen way's
Wed., April 3
9 : 3 0 until ?
EVERYONE
M M
DirirD
FREE BEER
iS INVITED!
Sundance- a funky, progressive
band from New Paltz
PLUS- the latest LATIN
and SOUL disco!
With MC- WSUA D.C.
41 T. wants to see you, there
A full range of lummer unciergraaWte and
graduate course!... special iMtttutet and
wortol»o|»»...go^teachm...ieelrf - •
1
,,,oiietvWAmeika*fm©itbea»itil|li
is
m
;/
*SWtKt*tS:|uM
:*%-'V -B-'s :
i'-A' •
*.*>lj»>-»
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 19'*
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
PAGE FIVE
-igislative Interns Explore
Albany's Political World
Rtnttx May Violat€ Hou$ing Law
nmiimml.from page I
both Mr. BarnhartandMr.Davrt
briginaUy learned about Rcntex
through Ming the service successfully m Washington I X C . "There are
people who want things that don't
exist. You say it doesn't exist. They
say 'o.k.. find it for me". If a person
'wants a $5000 farm, chances are
"they wont find it, although we have
run across $30.00 farms".
A lot of people get placcdin one
day. and eventually, says Mr.
Barnhart. W « of the policyholders
get places. I Tie other 10%. apparently, are out $30.00.
Customers who don't find what
they want Ihc first day arc urged to
call Rcntex everyday thereafter, lor
up to u year, to get fresh listings. Of
course, if Rcntex should go out of
business before the year is up. the
policy holders arc outlof luck. Bui.
sitys Davis confidently. " I h c only
way we'll, leave is if Albany floats
down the river, or there is nothing
left to rent."
Whilclthc stall Js largely comprised
of satisfied Kentex customers, a re-
could be of use to many students,
cent Saturday found two studenu
and the "Golden Age Club" which,
who had called frequently for two
months, without success, poring " i t it only applies to persons'bver
over the black book. They wanted '• sixty-live, would probably be of leu
value to students than the communicountry property, and could not find
ty as a whole.
any .landlord who would rent to
For "roommate referral" a student
.students.
who has an apartment but needs a
On the other hand. M r . .Davis
roommate can list his number and
has a special list ol apartments for
what sort of roommate he wants
"students
only", with addresses
with kentex.' Any student who
predominantly
around
Hudson
wishes ciin come into Rcntex and,
Avenue:
~
lor free, take down phone numbers
l o further check on Kcntcx's
from this list. This seems to be a
usefulness, this reporter took out a
somewhat more evolved system of
mock policy, stating she was looking roommate finding than posting a
lor a two bedroom apartment lor
.sheet on a pillar on the podium.
$21*1 a month, specifying that she
II the holder of a Kentex policy
hud a pet dog. While over half the
moves out of Albany," his policy will
listings in the two-bedroom category
he transferred to a Rcntex office near
read "no pets", this reporter found
where he is moving there arc 78 ofHver 10 satisfactory listings on each
fices mostly in the U.S. But there arc
of two separate visits, each under
a lew in Canada and Australia as
$200 a month, many well under that,
well;
(alls to Ihc landlords revealed that
Asked to comment on the rent
all hut one of the apartments were
situation in Albany in general. Mr.
available on the listed day.
Davis termed it "very high...Albany
Renlcx tillers several special services including the "roommate
relcrral" service, which presumably
by Maureen D. Griess
f r o m among the majestic corridors of the legislative office
building, a loud noise emanates from
the office of Assemblyman Herbert
.1. MillerfO-l'orest Hills). The noise
is a voice coming from an extension
of the intercom belonging to Willis
Stevens, (Kcp.-Brcwstcr) as he
presents the N.Y. State fiscal budget
to the assembly, lour floors below.
The lone tenant in the two room
carpeted office is a legislative intern,
Mark I'otcl from S.L'.N.Y.A.'s
(iraduale School of Public Affairs.
Seated behind a big front desk, he is
submerged in paperwork.
"Would you like to sit down? Mr.
uliiler is at the meeting downstairs."
is way over priced, in general, and
there's a large demand, especially
with students."
"What is vour job here'.'" I ask.
"Well. I do everything from working with bills, to answering phones
and opening mail to attending
democratic caucuses."
Prewritten Papers Illegal, Lefkowitz Warns
by Dave (ialletly'-ion bluo,
SASU ft**M>«rvke»i)i:i'i'"i'Jlq<'!i i
AtBAN-¥'<SASU)-r«eiJ | !l»iyb|)prtt
. written research pdpUWbn eaWfiUscii
across New-lY>orfc-SuMe''hus aHoUSca
Attorney'-(jehwu'l LoUisLcffitiwil/
and others to issue new warnings"^
students and faculty members on the
illegality bl''sueh papers.' State law says that the sale ol any
type of assistance to any student
enrolled at a University. College of
any Other school in the preparation
ol a dissertation, thesis, term paper
or any other type ol report is ellegal.
; I he a ut n o r
ol that
law.
Assemblyman Leonard P. Stavisky.
has found evidence of open solicitation by term paper companies at
many institutions of higher education in the slate, including many
Stale University at Albany, Stayiskv
-found advertising in Ihc form of
'livers posted in the Campus Center
and various academic buildings.
Said .Stavisky. "I am shocked to see
the open solicitation by term paper
companies' so close to the capital."
-Hifr.-vidcm.<o'"Collccfcdby Stavisky
and ol hers has prompted Attorney
GcHeraf l.clkowit* to call conferences in New Ydrk City recently
with college administrators and student press representatives to obtain
eo-operalion inconibalingthcnscin
the use of the illegal papers.
In the briefing held lit his offices in
New York's World Trade center,
l.clkowit/ asked for the help of all
parties involved saying that the
problem was "I'ruuding students,
professors and universities."
Most ol the companies involved
are out of stale operations, some of
which have Iried to duck the New
York law against their business by
either changing their names or
through advertisements claiming
llliil Ihey sell only original research
not completed term papers, j
l.clkmvil/. has pointed cIlWlllul'cu'll ,
using this criteria. •'lhMiHt*"!rW'in .
direct violation ol the statures and
may raccproseculiciiiil'lhcyciuitiiHic
In operate within the Suite ol New
York.
An example ol what might happen
in New York should the term paper
companies he prosecuted appeared
in Massachusetts rcccmly. liighl ina.jnr institutions in the Greater Boston
area unearthed a major scandal durnig the lasi academic year when the
wholesale use of purchased term
papers appeared.
Many of the 40-50 S.U.N.Y.A.
grads and undcrgruds currently in
the program do other such tusks as
designing surveys of constituency,
policing job input of a profession,
legal research and research of
histories of bills or projects.
Dr. James Kiedel. coordinator of
the innovative legislative intern
program sits legs crossed in a revolving chair, hands folded behind his
head in his S.U.N.Y.A. office, in an
atmosphere far removed from that
ol the Assemblyman's chaotic
quarters.
Vou're getting closer! K I C K k coming
Academic Affairs Committee Analyzes Welfare
by Andrea Heribert
"Welfare for Whom" was the
question focused on by Leon VanDyke and Stephen Werner during a
casual discussion arranged by the
Academic Activities Committee.
The talk Tuesday night in SS255 was
designed to dispose of certain myths
surrounding the controversial
welfare system.
The speaker's goals were to "take
attention away from the welfare
mother, the A F D C (Aid to Families
of Dependent Children) image, and
to show that there arc many individuals in our society who enjoy
some sort of an income subsidy."
Werner dealt with broadening the
idea of what constitutes welfare. Dis-
tributing welfare checks to people
below the poverty line is not the only
form of public assistance. Werner
sees the tax and subsidy systems in
this country as forms of governmental aid which go to the non-poor.
From the charts and tables he used
the statistics proclaimed that the tax
structure does not fulfill its function
of income distribution. In other
words, due to tricks like oil depiction
allowances and misapplied farm
subsidies, the rich get richer and the
poor pay more taxes.
Therefore, the government, due to
inappropriate tax structure and subsidies gives "welfare", to the more
affluent clusscs. Werner's solution,clcction and tax reform would go
a long way towards (correction)
ol these injustices."
Leon VanDyke. a grad student in
Ihc Education Department, wanted
to clear up our understanding ol who
is actually receiving welfare funds.
Although he has worked with
welfare rights groups here in Albany,
he stated that he "was not an expert
and had a limited view of public
assistance." However, his goal was
to show that the average welfare
rccipienlsare not black women with
excessively large families and no
husband .(maybe
with him
perpetually hiding in the closet).
VanDyke explained that out of the
14 million people on welfare in this
country, 2 million arc old people on
social security, and 3 million arc
blind and disabled. In most cases
there are 2 or 3 children per family.
remember that "there just aren't jobs
and then the question of adequate
child-care centers comes up."
To dispute the notion that the
funds allowed by the government arc
squandered by "cheaters" the following facts were presented.
One third of the total allowance
goes to train and pay the workers in
the system itself. Out of the actual
:heek a fixed rate for utilities and
rent is taken out. In fact, a big
problem lor these families is that in
winter if more gas is used thun
aliened lor in the check, they must
dip into the food or recreation
money or their power is cut off.
The discussion branched off into
the many problems inherent in the
system. Out of the nine people participating, two were faculty and the
rest were students with expertise in
When asked about the work
economics and social welfare.
eligibility of ihc remaining 2 million
An area discussed was the welfare
A F D C parents, VanDyke asked to
rights movements. One obstacle is
tamp'js Contraception
THURSDAY evenings
the resentment that the poor led
towards the young "missionaries"
who are eager (for short periods ol
time anyway) to help cure ihc cvilsol
the world without dump Ik
pedestrian tasks involved.
There is also Iricliun between
different groups of the pom. VanDyke. experienced with H K *
problems concluded, "h isn't easy In
organize poor people, bul «lwn I've
seen it.chine it works."
one half hour meeting progressed the
solutions ranged from ta* relurm
land guaranteed employment to J
Marxist revolution.
Topics previously discussed in the
AAC's scries included Nunmimin
(Nixon's cconomiesl and lire CIICIBI
crisis.
The A A C was initialed h\ lucutt)
members Curl Smith and I'e"1
Titlbut. It is a sounding ground Im
anyone interested in heurinu ui expounding ideas.
l.ethlitor's offlee in Legislative Office sMMhtt In Aftaay,
office are immediately placed on the
payroll. Hut this stipend is solely
dependent on the lawmakers private
income.
Kiedel says that students cannot
be lull lime employees because it interferes with schoolwork. "You do
things for money or credit but not
both. The money interns gel is only
token."
Once a student has secured a position, hours cun hediscussed between
the legislator and Ihc intern. From
then on, says Kiedel, "1 would rather
the relationship be that of employeremployee. I have no intention of intruding on what students do down
there." He says that most students
have a ball because they do interesting work. But the wart on the
whole project, he says, is thai others,
because of their non-aggressive
tendencies, will lake any job just to
be there and spend all their limetyping or sealing envelopes. He says,
" S t u d e n t s can only
blame
themselves for not liking the job."
On the legislative internship
program, he explains that all
students who elect to take the 3-6
credits of independent study at the
eapilol musl contact him after completion of the prerequisite; cither
I'OS
.321 - S t a l e and
Local
(iciveriinicnls or I'OS 331-The
Legislative Process. Apparently,this
requirement was made so that a student will have a basic working
knowledge ol the system before being immersed in it.
A second method for obtaining a
job as an intern at the eapilol is by
contacting the assembly coordinator
for the N.Y. Stale Internship
program. Mrs. Uarbaru Matulu.
Over 55 colleges and universities
around the stale participate, with
S . U . N . Y . A . having Ihc largest
number of students enrolled. Relates
Mrs. Manila, "It all started 3 years
ago basically because of demand.
I here were a lot of students here
walking around and no one knew
why Ihey were here. A more formal
system was needed."
It is mandatory also that a student
applying for an internship contact
on their own the legislator they are
interested ill working lor, says
Kiedel. He points out that
placements can almost always he
made as students are isymhioticallyvuluable to these legislators who are
laden with work. At least half ol the
students coming into ihc legislators
Any student who contacts Mrs.
Matula with a genuine interest is
guaranteed a position and a stipend
ol $1511 part-time per semester or
$350 lull lime per semester. Upon filing the application, a student can cite
political preference and an area of
interest. Says Mrs.
Matula,
"Students rapidly become experts in
J. a J/.
at the Student Health Service
For Appointment edit:
v*ti
W
.
PAGE SIX
"
3 y i y
Confidentiality
atiuratf.
Mon. - Fri. between 1 - 5 pm
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
IU|>||>
Hour
D.llll 7:.tll-s>:UII
176 Quail gj:
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
Through Barbara's program, two
minimum demands must be met by
the legislators, I) that interns not be
used exclusively us clerical help and
go-lers and 2) that a legislator not
have too many interns in an office
where one or more of those interns
are not doing important work. But
oltimes a legislator dislikes to discourage interested students because
says Barbara. "If someone offers you
something for nothing, how do you
say no'/"
Weekly o p t i o n a l
training
seminars help to round out the interns experience and provides an opportunity to converse with other interns.
Interns who take the program for
credit one semester, frequently
return for non-credit the next. Says
Kiedel, in conclusion, "Students
learn the relevance between what
goes on in school and what goes on
in the world. Internships in general
give an incentive to study what one is
all about. It is exposure to Ihc kinds
ol problems that are raised in Ihc
reality ol the real world and gives an
interpretive base with which lo
learn."
Upstate Medical Center, for exby Bob Mayer
In a recently released audit from ample, requires their faculty engaged
State Comptroller Arthur Levitt's in some form of private practice to
office, the State University is criticiz- submit an account of their annual
ed for failing to provide proper earnings. SUNY at Buffalo, on the
supervision of medical faculty in- other hand, has a voluntary policy,
and at the Downstate Medical Center'
comes.
In accordance with policy es- when officials of the school retablished by ihc State University quested to review income records of
Trustees in 1951, professional facul- the Radiology department, they
ty may earn outside the university, were refused access.
Proof of the failure on the part of
no more than 50';. of their base state
salary. If the faculty member is in- school officials to comply, with
volved in medical research the limit trustee guidelines is evident at all the
on additional earnings is 20';;, These state medical facilities. The report.
figures arc derived after the deduc- finds that at Upstate where income
reports are mandatory, the contion of "necessary expenses."
The purpose of this policy, as troller's office did not have outside
staled by the Trustees was to permit income reports for a sizeable group
and to encourage limited practice of the institution's faculty
uiil
and independent research as a means Consequently, they could
the
total
of attracting arid retaining quality determine whether
professional income
for
personnel. The limitation Was also
intended to limit a faculty members' these individuals was within the rules
outside pursuits "so as to ensure established by SUNY.
To correct these incongruities the
primary attention to their faculty
auditors make several suggestions,
responsibilities."
The latest investigation conducted many of which appear in a similar
by thcComptrollcr's staff unearthed audit conducted in 1968. The latest
consistent violations of the trustee audit again calls for the implementaguidelines. For example, an tion of an adequate salary plan that
Associate Professor at the Buffalo would not make outside income
Medical facility was earning $24.613 supplementation so attractive to
annually from his slate salary. Under medical faculty, The increased salary
the guidelines, he is allowed to earn would be offset by money coming
an additional $12,307, for an annual into the medical schools from outtotal of $36,920. However, his ear- side puticnts of medical faculty using
nings from other professional in- state medical facilities.
The auditors also call for the escomes totaled more than $76,000 for
thai same year, or 173% beyond the tablishment of a central fund. All
permitted income. The university fees and collections would be adwhich is responsible for illuminating ministered from this fund and would
such discrepencies. did nothing in therefore provide a tighter, more acthis instance, the auditors charge. curate account of money coming in
Similar transgressions, they add, ex- and out of the medical institutions.
It its (he controllers belief that if
ist at all Tour state supervised
these recommended measures were
medical schools.
to become part of the system, many
Trustee guidelines require staff
of the present problems would not
members to make an annual report
reoccur.
of all professional incomes, yet the
The State University has respondauditors discovered no standard
form to be filled out and no standard ed to the audil claiming, "wc concur
procedure for obtaining them. The with many of the comments in the
investigation found a "less than audit report, we agree that there is a
aggressive" attempt by individual need Tor review of existing policies
SUNY schools to secure and review and die plans now in effect at the
various medical centers."
such information.
i - AN OPEN LETTER TO STUDENTS *•,
Can you imagine traveling through the Mediterranean world and
still receiving full SUNY Binghamton semester credit?
Can you believe that you can live in Malta.Italy, and Tunis during an
entire academic year(or semester) for little more than what it would
cost you to remain on campus?
Well.it's true; the SUNY-Binghamton Overseas Academic Program
in Mediterranean Studies provides just such an opportunity.
What's more,students majoring in Humanities including English
and Social Sciences including History receive excellent instruction. All
students in Liberal Arts are encouraged to apply.The language requirements in Malta and Italy has now become optional although
students without any language background will probably want to take
some language study abroad.
Majors in Romance Languages are welcome to participate in the
hall semester in Malta and Italy. But during the Spring Semester they
will travel to Aix-en-Provence or Barcelona where they will live in ,.'-'
private apartments or with families depending on their preferences, f >
The SUN Y-Binghamton Overseas Academic Program in Mediterranean Studies is one of the few programs in the SUNY system that sends
students to the Islamic world.
The program is not only interdisciplinary but multi-cultural and
multi-country as well.
For further information and an application form.please contact the
Director of International Education on your campus.Application
deadline: April 15, 1974
Living Room
CKlliC
their field of interest and the stipend
helps to pay.lor lunches."
, •:
State Audit Knock* SUNY
Faculty Income Supervision
Dr. James Kiedel, coordinator of internship program at S.U.N, V,A.
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
PAGE SEVEN
itiit**stMb
Policet Administrations
Students Now Eligible For
Unemployment Compensation Hauling Streaker*
fcy tMjmmmt At
voluntarily cover any uncovered
pun one of IKO parts
worker merely by paying the un(Rayaoad
A v r a i i t i* a
employment tax.
W a M a a t o a D C fiat-aiac* writer
T a t I M * Period
and theaatbor of Unemployed of ih*
I he amount o f money you will
World. Collrti!
aa » y d unreceive is based on the total wages
published book on unemployment
you earned in employment covered
bcbdili.)
!>y unemployment insurance during
CPS - I h i t summer, many unyour year-long "base-period.'" a reemployed college students, dropcent period o f time.
, outs, and graduate* who are seekMost stales require S3U0-S8O0
ing lull-time jobs will be able to
prior earnings in work covered by
collect unemployment insurance
unemployment insurance to qualify
based oa the pan-time or full-time
for unemployment benefits.
work they did as students.
States compute the base-period in
(Students are not eligible t o
different ways. Some count the past
receive bcbeiiis during vacation
S3 weeks, others the last four comperiods for w o r k performed in I l pleted calendar quarters, still others
linois. Montana. North Carolina,
the first four o l the last five (or even
and Utah, and in some instances in
six) completed calendar quarters.
Indiana and Louisiana.)
Most states require work in at
Unemployment benefits are based
least two (but nol in two full) caleno n wages earned in covered
dar quarters of your base period.
e m p l o y m e n t — not whether you
(Having toial base-period earnings
worked lull-time, part-time, night
equal to 1-1/2 times that calendar
shift, or on Sunday.
quarter in which your wages were
You may collect if you are living
highest is a common requirement.)
with your parents, or even if you arc
In some stales, the base-period renot a US citi7.cn (except in Arizona).
quirement means thai a person inStudents cannot usually collect
eligible in June may collect in July.,
unemployment insurance while they
i.e.. when the calendar quarter and
are enrolled lull-time in schaei. But
the base period both change, making
persons attending night school or
taking only one or two courses are
often eligible.
You may work at two or more jobs
(and i n two or more slates) and have
the wages you earned at each j o b
by Craci Mastalli
count towards your bcbeflls.
(CPS) -Protesting the eliminaBenefits range from 50-55';(. of
tion of guaranteed funding for the
your before-taxes weekly wage, and
Daily Texan and the student governcan be paid f r o m eight to 26 weeks, ment, an estimated 3000 students at
depending on how long you worked the University of Texas (Austin)
and in what stale.
demonstrated against the Board of
Regents. March 2U.
In 19726.3 million people received
more than 6 billion in tax-free unemployment benefits. More people
In an unprecedented move
could have collected had they
characterized by students as a
applied.
"Rcgcntal vendcila." the University
Job* Covered
System Regents voted on March 15
Eighty percent ol all jobs arc
l o deny mandatory activity fee funcovered. Those thai are n o i include:
d i n g to both the student newspaper
work for your school or fraternity.; and ihc student government.
casual labor, work for many stale
and local governments (most federal
1 he action was taken as part of a
employment is covered) agricultural reorganization of the student serlabor and domestic service (in most
vices Ice under a Texas tducaiion
states).
Most
non-profit
Act amendment which gives finanorganizations are covered. Churches cial relief to part-lime and graduate
and some others arc exempted.
students "through proportionality in
H o w e v e r , in most states any
the fee structure "
employer with the consent of the .
state employment agency, may
Under the new Ice structure the
the work he or she did tall into (or
out of!) the current base periodBe sure to get—and keep—the
claimant's handbook (available at
unemployment offices) which tells
you in detail how unemployment
benefits arc computed in your stale.
Host T o Apply
I o apply for benefits, phone the
unemployment office and ask where
you register (or work. You must bring your social security card with
you when you register.
Register for a j o b commensurate
with your skills, experience, or training. While you are collecting unemployment, you must ask several
employers each week, in person, if
lhcy arc hiring.
You do nol have to take "any" job.
All Males require a person to accept
only suitable work. In most stales,
work lhal is hazardous to your
health, safety or morals: work that is
lar Irom where you live: work unrelated to your priorcxpcricnce. earnings or training is unsuitable.
Also. • Federal law slates that, you
do not have lo take a job if the
wages, hours, or oiher working conditions ai similar jobs olfered in the
area are belter. />an imi next i.vvur
by Joan Christ
( C P S ) - D e s p i t e claims thai
streaking is merely fun and games,
police and university authorities
across the country have reacted in a
very negative manner to streakers.
Although streakers interviewed al
most schools expressed a desire to let
oil steam or have fun in an absurd
manner as the reason for the streaks,
most police have taken a hardline
approach by arresting and handcuffing all the streakers and bystanders
they were able to catch.
A survey of events at just 45
colleges and universities showed 94
arrests o f student lor streaking or
participating in the general melee
lhal has accompanied most streaks,
an indication that Ihc total number
ol streaker arrests nationwide may
be in Ihc hundreds.
At
the
University
ol
Colorado, Boulder and ihc University ol Lexus at Austin, campus polite
have taken photographs of streakers
and crowds, with Ihc expressed inlent ol later matching ihc photos ui
sludeni I I ) records. Any positive
identifications will result in arrests.
police have promised.
Mosl ol the arrests were on a grabbag ol local ordinance violations;
disorderly conduct, public indecency, indecent exposure, indecent
behavior, lewd behavior, and disturbing the peace. I he largest number
ol arrests seemed lo occur on Ihc
evening of March 7, when mild
weather c o n d i t i o n s
promoted
streaking throughout the countrv.
In dozens ol other news stories,
police and local authorities promised arrests and resulting polite
reocrds for streakers, while university officials threatened suspension or
probation. Obviously, such threats
had little effect on the fad, but arrests
occurred and streaker crowds engaged in major confrontations with
police officials at several schools
U. of Texas Students Demand Fee
5,000 Protest Mandatory Fee Cut By State Regents
mandatory charge will be lowered
and contributions lo the Ti'xan and
student government will appear on
registration forms as optional
checkoll items.
Ihc reorganization of Ihc Ice
structure, according to Sandy Kress,
student government president, was
an arbitrary move to "gut student
agencies lhal have lately become
vibrant and challenging." Kress said
Ihc old lunding system had fully
complied wiih ihc amendment's
proportionality requirement and the
regent's aclion was without legal
basis.
Kress described the motion which
had been proposed by Regent Frank
C. Lrwin as a "calculated stab" a:
two organizations which had attacked his prioriiics often an clleclively o\cr Ihc pasl year.
Ihc Board ol Regents action
culminated a ihrec-ycar hislory of
lunding-rclalcd
controversies
between the regents headed by
L r w i n . and ihc t w o student
organi/ations. According lo the
Texan
L r w i n has repeatedly
threatened to "punish" the paper's
"fierce investigative reporting" by
altering its lunding.
I he Texan
has editorially
ennractcri/cd bruin's motives in
proposing Ihc lunding cuts us
"blatantly political" and reports him
saying on one occasion lhal "We (the
regents) do not lund anything lhal
we don't control."
Sludeni lobbying actions following the regents' decision led to a
meeting ol the counly legislative
delegation with Lrwin. The delegation asked Lrwin lo have the regents
"reconsider their decision and find
allernalive lunds to guarantee lhal
lunding will be available al the presenl level."
Contrary to popular belief
and previous
announcements there will
be no elections for class
of 77 officers this spring
funded by student association >
Record Streak Raided
I he worst confrontation came at
the University ol Georgia al Alliens,
during the establish mem ol the Mill
standing record lor numbci ol
streakers, estimated al between IIKKI
and 1500. Prior to the streak sludeni
leaders had met will) Athens polite.
at which time Public.Safety Director
Ldvvard Kassingcr said he was gome
lo gather information in case a was
requested by a grand jury, hut lhal lie
would nol initiate action againsuny
streakers.
When the streak look plate,
however, police began making
arrests, which allegedly involved
some streakers being dragged along
the ground by police. I he crowd,
angered by Ihc brulalily ol such actions, bacamc unruly, and polite
attempted to break up the estimated
crowd ol 12.000 by driving patrol
cars through the mass ol students
When this lactic tailed, polite
fired tear gas which affected .ipproximately iwo thousand ol Ihc
bystanders, including somestudenis
who were Irving lo disperse ihc
crowd, hollowing the tear gassing,
ihc crowd broke up. bin not helore
police had made al least 17 arie-ls
A l the University ol Delaware in
Newark, nearly 5U0 persons, many
ol ihein intoxicated patrons ol a
large local bar. blocked a strcei during streaking festivities, and began
throwing rocks and beer bottles al
any cars lhal tried lo approach !hv
crowd. Alter several polite unit-. on
llie scene were surrounded hv noleis
and an estimated crowd ol llucc lo
lour thousand, local police tailed in
counly and stale police.
Lvenlually over 200 police tame
to the scene and lircd tear gas unlil
ihc crowd broke up. Ihc day j l l c i
the incident, the Newark Cily ( nun
cil passed an ordinance empoweiing
ihc mayor lo ban liquol sales and
declare an evening curlew loi Ml
days.
A l the University ol lenncssec al
Knoxville. a crowd of 4000 spectators caused an estimated noon
properly damage loi
unknown
reasons before police broke il up
firecrackers and missiles such as
burning paper, broken glass, rocks,
cans and waler balloons have been
reporled at streaks where police
sludeni confrontations did nol e»calale.
VSSJt, Cathedh On Ott _ _
H{ .
Fnchon
Embargo By Selling ToU.S.
"^
N L W Y O R K A P - I he Russians were
shipping quantities of their own
petroleum products lo the United
Siiilcs at the same time they were
publicly encouraging the Arab oil
boycott against this country..
A Federal Lnergy Office official
in Washington said he. too would
have been surprised if the Russians
had joined the embargo. " I think (he
K115.sians.wanl to make a buck, too."
he said.
U.S. Custom records here show
thai since the first o f the year, lour
tankers have docked in New York
mid New Jersey polls carrying
Sovicl petroleum supplies, including
millions of gallons of gasoline.
Ihc
loialcd
gallons,
average
In Washington, federal officials
said they were not surprised to learn
of Ihc Russian imports. One Slate
Hcpai'imcni official said ihc imports
begun long helore Ihc Arab boycott
and there never was any indication
lhal Soviet' Union intended to join
ihc \ i n h aclion.
"In l a d . " Ihc Sialc Department
nlhciiil said. "I don't think ihc Arabs
ever asked Ihc olhci
OI'IC
(Organisation ol Petroleum l:.\porimg Countries) members lo join Ihc
hovcoll."
In lilt- ease o some ol ihc impoi
ic added, "ihc same
look
same ships lhal lo
ivei mil wheal biougbt hack then
ui."
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
TUESDAY, APRIL 2; 1974
MJ,
_ .
«*«••*
ALBANY.
N.Y
I he chiel o l s l a l T . L l , Gen. Onvid
K«k«nsh.igtwi til Stcna College, a
l-.la/nr. and the intelligence chief.
Mai. l i e n . Ulit.hu Zeiru, met with
I'rcmicr l i o l d n Meir's ctirunel lor
»l«*,n< t n m u « n d t t - w o n , n c ? 5
kilometer "hnnkolhon cross coun' O ' r a c e Sunday with a lime o l one
three hourstodiscuss'developments.
•""- -•
I,
gasoline imports alone
more than 15.5 million
enough to fuel 2.1. 250
cars lor a year.
flic Israeli command said the
According lo Welfare Minister
Syrians lircd first on Israeli positions'
Michael l l n / u n i . the military chiefs
in I he southern, scc}orol ihc plateau.
said mailers on the Heights were
Il reporled no casualties.
"serious ami worsening...both in the
I h c Syrian .command said ils
political and military spheres."
A lew shipments from the Soviet
heavy artillery pounded Israeli
Union last year arrived in Russian
positions on lour major hills of ihc
I lag lankcrs. although the ships were
Heights overlooking Onncilia. ihc
nol manned by Russiancrews. a Stale large Syrian lovvn seized by Israel
Defense Minister Moshc Day an,
department official said. Hill mosl of
during ihc 1967 war.
in Washington to represent the
lite shipments of gasoline, kerosene
Israeli side in indued negotiations
and healing oil came in American or
with Syria, said in a television interI he report said tanks and stillt—
(itcek ships.
view lhal there was still "a big and
armor guns were duelling ill several
wide g a p " between ihc Iwo
locations. Ihc Syrians also gave no
I Inline I chruaiy and March,
.goveiiinienls on troop discngagerepoi'i ol casualties.
when ihc \ r i i h oil ministers were
merit,
I here was fierce nine-hour exmeeting lo discuss lilting their emchange ol firing Sunday, and Israel
bargo aeanisi the United Stales.
charged lhal lor ihc first lime since
MIVICI radio broadcasts and ihc
the I Ictobei wai. Sy nan commandos
Sccrctaiy ol Stale Henry
V
•soviet press urged the ministers to
tried lo penetrate Israeli lines.
Kissinger is to present Israel's iroop
continue I lion cutoll.
sepaialion plan lo Syrian officials
Isiacl said the attempt was repuls- cxpeclcd in Washington A p r i l I I .
Male llcpailineni official* in
ed, and Inday Ihc command said
\\ ashmglon wcic icpoi led lo believe
Israeli lorccs were poised to repulse
.il ihc nine lhal Ihc Russians were
any Syrian advance.
simply living lo rcilcralc Ihcii in—
Israel's lop military commanders
letesi and nilliientc in Middle Last
warned Sunday lhal the situation on
all.ins. I lie \ i a h coycolt was lifted
A member ol Ihe House Armed
ihc northcr.n front was deteriorating. •Services Committee has found
March Is.
" " r ' ,H mm,Us
"nd 26 sm,na'1'
. Ihc winner missed breaking t h e
American road race record by • 16.6
seconds as 200 runners braved chi My.
rainy weather lo participate in the
Adirondack A A l l event, sponsored
by a local hank.
( a l i o Chcruhino of Albany was
second, lollowed by Jim Shrnder.
also ol Albany.third. flic ncxi three
were l o i n Dciderian of Amherst.
Mass.: Larry l-rcdcrick ol llion, and
Chris Chambers of Newinglon.
Conn.
Cathy
Shrader.
15. o f
Middlchurg. won the women's d i v i sion.
f r a n k Shorter. Olympic cross
eon n l ry champion Irom J9-72.
withdrew Irom Ihc event "after
developing walcr on the knee.
The race. 15.55 miles, started in
Schenectady and proceeded along
New V ,uk 5. a perfectly straight but
hilly
roadway, into downlown
Mbitny.
Source Of Secret defense Dept.
Cambodia War Funds Discovered
lY'^Wj |#,Mli tfiji^t'Sill'J''' ,IK'
money is being usey-Jo support
where she thinks Ihc Pentagon has
been hiding money in ils budget lo <|.i'"lllil|i>io"oVi l )/>:. 1 Vl!l , f'V.' n l ' , m '
•IV B rl i ftitiii4Rl'lii!HrJHf\tftoi l ' v , t , -i! i n
suppon U.S. Military activities in
uuajjsyvci.ed . Weyilj Un' a hricl I'cnCambodia.
,
lagoii stalemenl,,yvtoih classilicd
, , M . A . > . I \ as "Soulhcasl.. Asia
Coiigiesswonian
I'alricia
related."
, „ ; .,
. ,
Shrocdcr of Colorado reports Ihe
were lai Irom 'lotallv disruptive,' lo
I'enlagou lias been receiving
Ms. Shrocdcr also asked Ihc
ust
ihe government's phrase."
s i / c a b l e , hut
mysterious apUenct'ul Accounting Ollice lo inDouglas argued. Vet, he said, only
propriations under a heading known
vestigate ihc M.A.S.H. program.
conscientious objectors were denied
as " M . A . S . h " M.A.S.I-. stands for
Ihe ( i . A . t ) . reporled back lhal Ihe
bcnclils lor this reason.
Mihlary Assistance Service f u n d e d "
Pentagon has already spcnl more
" I l is. indeed." he continued,
program hut, oilier lhan ils name, money on ihc program lhan has been
"demeaning lo those who have
very little is known aboul ihc aiiiliori/cd by Congress. I h c G . A . O .
religious scruples nguiusl shoulderprogram.
added lhal even il was unable lo Mini
ing arms lo suggest, as Ihc governout vvliai M . A . S . h is. or where all
nicnl does, thai those religious
the money is going.
Ihe M.A.S.I-. program came lo
•scruples must be susceptible ol comIt) receiil weeks. Ihe II u.\liinxiiui
Ms. Shroeder's attention last week
p r o m i s e he-lore lhcy will be
I'liM and lorinei Indochina veterans
dining closed-door hearings on Ihc
protected."
bnvc charged lhal ihe United Stales
Mi.2 billion (dollarl supplemental
is advising or siipponing ground
military appropriations hill. Ihe
noops in Cambodia, in violation ol a
M . A . S . h program alone is lo
" t i o v c i n i n c n i . as I lead ihc Conl')7l) acl ol congress.
receive W74 million (dollars) lor the
stitution and Ihc Hill ol Kighls. may
HUM lliree months. Ms. Shrocdcr
nol place a penally on anyone for
stales.
asserting his religious scruples. I hat
Ms. Schrocdci says she "suspccls"
is ihc nub ol Ihc present ease and the
thai any American ellYirl in Camreason why the judgement below
(oiigresswomaii Shrocdcr has
bodia is being financed with
should beallirmed." Douglas said.
suhmined a list ol .IK questions Iodic
M . A . S . h money.
U.S. Supreme Court Says Conscientious
Objectors Ineligible For G.L Bill Benefits
I he Supreme Court has ruled thai
conscientious objectors who lullill
then d i a l , obligations by civilian
nhcrnanve service arc ineligible lor
t i l - b i l l educational benefits.
In an K lo I decision, the court
ruled thai Congress had the right to
restrict (»l beneliu to those who stilleied "a lar greater loss ol personal
Ireetloin" hv accepting miliiaiv seivicc. I he majorih opinion b\ Justice
William Hrennan further Mated that
ihc denial ol benefits to C'O's " i n \ol\es. o n l \ an incidental burden
upon lice exercise ol religion."
I he ruling canrtMit a suit brought
b\ William Kobison. a conscientious
ohjecutr who performed two years of
allernalive service in a Boston
hospital. Kohwon claimed thai t'O's
sillier the same disruption in their
lives as veterans and were equally
entitled
to " r e a d j u s t m e n t "
assistance. Kobison also claimed
lhal denying benefits lo objectors
violated
ihc c o n s i l i t u l i o n a l
guarantees ol Ircedom ol religion.
A I ederal District Court had upheld Kohison's position, stating that
"like nuliiarv veterans, allernalive
sei \ icemen have btvn e\po»cd lo the
uncertainties caused b\ ihe draft
law ...and were deprived during the
lime the) pcrlornied allernalive service til Ihe opportunity lo obtain
educational objectives or pursue
more rewarding civilian goals."
In rejecting both ol
Kohison's
arguments. Justice Hrennan said
thai the existance ol educational
benelits loi vcterans-now $220 a
mouth-"niay help induce a military
dial lee either to volunteer tor the
drall or not seek a lower Selective
. Service classification." litis argu"Silent, said Hrennan. formed a
'""rational basis " lor Congress'
limiting benefits to veterans.
Critics ol ihcdcctsiou haveargucd
thai a t ' O would nol be persuaded lo
serve in the army on a "rational,'
basis, since by Sclcclivc Service
del nut ion CD's must oppose all wars
based on a deeply-held ethical or
religious belie! and nol on ihe
grounds ol "essentially political,
s o c i o l o g i c a l , or
philosophical
\ lews."
Justice William (), Douglas. Ihc
only dissenter in ihe Court's decision, staled lhal "Ihediscrimination
againsi a man with religious.scruples
seems apparent."
" l u l l henctits are available lo occupanls ol sale desk jobs and Ihe
thousands ol veterans who pcrlormcd civilian type duties al home
and lor whom Ihe rigors o l Ihc 'war
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AT THE BOOKSTORE
LAST WEEK
BILBOS LAST
SONG
NEW TOLKEIN
POSTER
In pasl cases. Hrennan slated. Ihe |>
Court had ruled lhal "incidental
1
burdens" oil Ihc lice exercise of &
religion "may be slriclly jusldicd by &
substantial goveinmenlal interests," » &
g *>:«>yx*K*w^^^
such us raising an a r m y ^
•TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
PAGE EIGHT
M I D D L L L A S T < A r > Lor t h e
21st consecutive day. Syrian and
Israeli armor and artillery clashed'
along their 40-mile cease-fire line in
Ihc l i o l f i n Heights this morning.
m
OF
HALF PRICE
JOY OF
SEX
BACK IN
STOCK
PAPERBACK
I $4.95
$2.50
SALE
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
PAGE NINE
5
E
N
I
0
R
W
SUNDAY
WOODY ALLEN NIQHT: Ttht Tit M ? " ^ md
WhU'iUpTlfltrUlY?
Ruf>
anq
BEER BLAST AND BAND in the Campus Center Ballroom
MONDAY
ALL DAY TRIP TO MONTREAL
Return to campus for a MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF THE
MARX BROTHER'S flight a t the Opera and Hprsefrflthera
TUESDAY
PICNIC AT THATCHER PARK
Then off to the races and dinner at SARATOGA RACEWAY
WEDNESDAY
BOAT CRUISE ON LAKE GEORGE with a Dixieland Band
on Board
THURSDAY
CLAM BAKE AT MOHAWK CAMPUS
MIDNIGHT SHOWING of The Graduate
FRIDAY
'*"
&
FREE PLAY and TORCH NIGHT
SATURDAY
COMMENCEMENT
K
•
•
n
I,|..J . ,
t
i
We need lots of volunteers to help sell tickets. Call Deanna
at 7-5240
Look for ticket sale info in future ASP
University Concert Board
IAII
A
Y
1
9
2
5
I
7
4
presents:
Coirnnander Ccdy
WJ Ms LO§T PLANET i l l HI S
This Beer and I n (J*
I
Ccu fitly
Ccckir
i> u u / •
starts at 8:00 pm on Thurs., April 18
in the Campus Center Ballrooom
Beer will be served and there will be room
to dance (you can sit and watch too).
KICK in the
RM Nixon
offered mm
funded by student association
• -:;.-i'iiB'j'a-- IB • • • • •
Benzedrine
Exorcises
Students
^Faculty
Kennel Works
Like Dog
|by George Ufcdor
"New Nixon
State University"
by Blob Mayor
, According to a secret memorandum marked "Hor Eyes Only," President Richard M: Nixon has been
offered the post of university presid e n t , vacated by President
Benzedrine. The offer was made by
the Vice-President of Academic Affairs. Dr. f-'illitup Salyric.
Reliable sources within the
SUNYA administration have informed Kick that details of Mr. Nixon's transfer to Albany State arc
presently being worked out by White
House staff and SUNYA dean,
tricky Dick Kennel. Kennel lias
reportedly made several trips to
Washington in recent weeks lo iron
out some dispute over salary and
other fringe benefits.
Our sources claim that at present
several areas have been agreed upon
by both sides. I he university has,
made plans lo change its name lo the
New Nixon State University. The
former President will receive a base
salary of $465,895.34 annually and
two tree comps for all university con.certs. In addition the slate legislature
lias agreed in advance lo waive all
slate taxes on the President's earnings. Mr. Nixon has recently changed his official residency from San
Clcmcnlc lo San Quenlon and
therefore is eligible for exemptions
on federal tax claims.
Kick-in-ihe-ASI' has also learned
thai the President will prohibit any
disclosure of official university
material to any committees on the'
grounds that such procedure would
set a bad precedent and may damage
future- university presidents from
making decisions without fear of
. accountability.
The President will have a work
load of I hour per week lo allow him
lime to finish his new book, "My
Continuing Crisis l-'rom Whitticr
to Waiergale." According to one
member of Salyric's staff, the Vicc. President believes that Mr. Nixon
will contribute much to Ihe university and carry on the esteemed goals of
his predecessor.
Ihe President Benzedrine Ad- J
ministration today, announced a
plan that would have the effect of increasing the decision muking|role of.
the Administration in University Af_ fairs. Ihe plan calls lor a phasing
'out of ihej-'ntire faculty and student
components from academic and
policy matters.
.
Academic Vice President Hllittip
Salyric said that the long term goal
of Ihe plan would be lo (eliminate
faculty and students from the University completely. "Students arc
only a hinderancc to the effective
running of this University." Salyric
said. "We would all be much better
off if they simply didn't go here
anymore,"
|jAsl|slnnl lo Ihe Executive ViccThe Salyric memo, back-dated to
November 4, 1972, a day before the
election, says. "Of course we are fully
aware of your wife's many contributions lo your administration.
We have secured a position as'goodwill ambassador' lor her at a yearly
salary of 11.00. Naturally she will
have a discretionary fund of at least
$500,000.
"Mrs. Nixon's responsibilities will
include traveling to state universities
in various foreign countries to foster
a sense of unity among statesupported institutions of Higher
learning."
White House aides admitted some
previous reluctance but since then
have been guaranteed positions here
at New Nixon (formally S U N Y A ) .
We have been told by a high level
cabinet member that John Mitchell
has already accepted the top position
of Campus Securitv.
Ronald Zieglcr will become the
editor of Ihe Tower tribune, the
A Ihany Student Press, Unity Press,
the Cairilon, CSHA Report, and all
other wrillen journals. H. R. Bob
Haldeman is considering the position of Dorm Director of 4 plus 2.
I here appears to be some hesitancy on Haldcman's part, believing
that Ihe position was not high
enough. However, university of• liciah have assured him that 4 plus 2
Salyric also feels that the former
was Ijic highest place in the universiU. S, President would typify a long
ly. Maurice Slans is presently conlasting philosophy in this university,
sidering an oiler lo be chief fund
a philosophy that permits Ihe
raiser for telethon I97K.
hrondesi interpretation of adReaction lo the memo is expected
ministrative flexibility within Ihe un-' to raise lew eye brows here al
iversily guidelines.
Albany. Student Association President fiahy lluey (ierbcr, when told
about Richard Nixon's possible
status here, responded, "Richard
who'.'" Side kick Marx-I.enin Davis
commented "Oh, goodie, goodie".
former Dean of Ihe College ofA r l s and Sciences, I. Am
lliunheiger, was contacted on Ihe
phone lasl nighl. When informed he
excused himself and put four bullets
in his groin. His lasl words were "If
you called collect please hangup the
receiver."
*
The memo by VP Salyric concludes. "Dick, we need a man here
who is not a spineless centipede,
someone who will lighl for the
traditions of this fine institution,
jsomenne who uudersinads thai, being an administrator is a' thankless
job in short, someone who understands that accountability is an
occupational hazard. Wijh respect
and admiration,' F i l l "
Gzwvnzb —
$2.53 wltli tax m l
N.CKI wltficut
VrW
Presidency
Nwez F°q
Tickets on sale Tues. - Thurs., April 16 - 18
in CC Lobby from 10 to 2
Vol M cult
nzyz V?mv
irjcsilj^cnl (who also happens to be
SjityHic). Injuslicjjf; Davidson,
King Kong Crushes Crowds,
Climbs Carillon, Causes #
Catastrophic Calamities
by (ia-go Hilla
Horror struck Albany State's
campus last week when King Kong
ran amuk between the Quadsand the
buildings on the podium. Twenty
students died of laughter and many
others ran around screaming. Kong
squashed trees and bit off sections of
Livingston lower.
Kong created havoc when he
climbed the Carillon, but then drew
some cheers when he ripped the electronic equipment out and stopped
Ihe noon chimes. The ape was
followed as he went his destructive
way by biology students with
m i c r o s c o p e s , photographers,
streakers and Security men shouting
"Stop! You arc trespassing!"
King Kong also caused damage
when he tripped over the Infirmary;
he fell with his head in the Power
Plant's smokestack, which caused
him lo sneeze, which made u terrible
mess and smell and caused many
Dutch Quad residents to go to their
friends' rooms on oilier quads.
Security was finally able to cap<
litre the large beast and return it to
its estate in northern Westchester.
Kong is suspected of being an exofficial in New York Slate government; as he ran about campus he
grunted "it's mine - I built it!"
The Student Association, President Benzedrine and' the, Infirmary
released a statement deploring
Kong's actions. It read in pari: "The
Stale University of New York at
Albany is a respectable and honored
institution. We resent the implications of a large ape defiling the
physical aspects of the school and interfering with the education activities thai are in process here."
Student reuctions were varied.
The hysterical students could not be
interviewed; .one girl in Ten Brocck
Hull Ntill refuses to gel down off her
chair. Many students were "under
Ihe influence" and were able to
thoroughly enjoy the "show."
Ihe official reaction from SUNY
Central consisted of some sighs, thc.1
shaking of heads and comments like: <
i'WIeah."
re.mjiked that ' "Administrators
owl vliat is best for this University,
IhcAudcnls ar| flftjjpassing fad,
they time and go'evJA' four years,
What' right do ihey"||vc to tell us
lii)w to run (his institution. Alter,
all. "she said with an arrogant glare,
"We're Administrators iind Adults,
they're only a bunch of naked streaking adolescents."
In regards lo the phase out of Ihe
faculty. Davidson said. "Without
any pic-puhesecnl teeny-boppers lo
waste their lime on. the Faculty will
• become loo engrossed with nonessential mailers, such as tenure and
job security and promotions. We
will have none of ihai at this University." .
Ihe reports by the two Ad-,
minisirulors a n t e after, rumors
began circulating about an impend i n g joint decision by the
Student faculty-Semite
Liaison
Committee lo restructure the University Semite, and work in coord i n a t e d .activities .concerning
academic mailers.
When approached on the subject
of a Studcnt-l-ucully coalition. Dean
for Hie Division ol Behavioral and
Social Sciences, I ricky Dick Kennel
said. "II proves what the good guys .
in Ihe Administration have been
warning for years. If you give those
pansies in Ihe Faculty any room lo
maneuver, they - might decide lo
think. One thing we don'l need
around here isa hunch ol alert think'
ing Faculty members. That wculd
make my job thai much tougher."
Reaction by Student Leaders was
pol long in billowing. Student
Association wheeleraler David Coin
-changer angrily declared that SA
would call for all students on
Dinner-only meal cohtraets to enl
Lunch an hour earlier ihun usual.
Said Coin-changer. "I don'l think
the Administration knows who they
are fooling around wilh."
Indeed, Lunch Hues .were in fact.
longer al eleven (his morning Ihun
normal, | Drib dissident voice heard
above the angry Lunchlimc crowd
was purported lo have said, "Are
there any Hl.T's loll Harry?"
Sources have refused lo comment
whether any planned protest of the
Adminislrulion's
announj|mcM
will be forthcoming. Ttoisky-Lcnin
Davis, SA WHtPrcsidcnt said,
"Don'l ever count out SA, We're
ulways out there lighting lor out
students, Rah.l"
. . ,
Administration Gives No MoreS to SUNYA
fciSot
Leava
As you may well know, the State
University of New York Central Administration recent by/released their
proposed budget for the upcoming
fucaf year. The budget, although it
provided funds for the extension and
improvement) of many State campuses, granted no moniesfor the expansion of the Albany campus. .
S U N Y A authorities were grieved
by what they felt was "a gross injustice and a loss of dignity on the
part of Albany staff and students."
In responding to the Central Administration's claim that Albany
state has achieved the status of a
"mature" campus , the S U N Y A
brass cited State
Dormitory
Authority statistics on studentincurred theft and vandalism for
each of the Albany Quads.
of the State University system by
overloading the other S U N Y schools
with incoming freshmen who had
originally planned to attend Albany.
The 8:1 rejection, rale that Admissions officers had previously
been instructed to follow for new
students has, as a result, been changed toapproximately4000:l,'This will
allow only about 22 newstudentsto
be admitted t o S U N Y Albany forthe
upcoming academic year.
' The SUNYA Administration has
not commented thusfar on Council's
move, but the Inter-Fraternity
Council has expressed concern
about" not having a real Freshman
Class next year from which individual frats could recruit new
"brothers." Central Council has
since assured the Greeks that all 22
students admitted in the Fall will be
chosen; on the basis of their
predisposition for fraternity or
sorority life.
Tell-a-Don Termed "Stapendo"
Sun-Yeh Pirg Combats Evil
W A S H I N G T O N , D.C. ( A P E ) - T o d a y President Richard M. Nixon ,
voted the lirst recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for Secrecy.
t'APE KENNEDY ( R P I ) - C o m m a n d e r Neil Headstrong has announced
plans to be the lirst lunar streaker.
D E T R O I T ( P U ) - T h e r e was a large dope bust at the Detroit Lion's football
training camp this afternoon. The largcdope is Alex Karras, and the s c u t e
is unknown.
'
SCHENEt'TACV ( C I A ) — A three-year-old research project revealed lodav
that (iencssccBeer is piped in from a Vermont cesspool.
JI'OLANDOOU) - A 47-year-old research project revealed today ihauhere
by Mario Pako
are indeed two sexes!
The 1974 Tell-a-Don was held They carried long, metal tubes with
OUTER SI.OBBOVI A ( E B I l - L i ' l Abncr. in his lirst official act as mayor of
yesterday, April I, in theCampesino
handles, apparently some kind of
Slobbovia. today signed a new law making I plus I equal 3. Mnynr Abncr
Ballroom. Members of the Family
contributiona'ry mechanism.
claims that, under the new law, by dealing with other countries -Slobbovia
went through the audience with.
Some fat weatherwoman who
will soon own all of the world's currency.
hands outstretched asking for
used to work with Frank Sinatra
H AKHINU T O N , D.C. (AKL)-Presidcnt Nixon was seen streaking a e r o s ,
money to aid underprivileged
before his seventh retirementand her the While House lawn early this afternoon. His only words on ihe subject
However no official action was
members of the organization who
canine bodyguard named Mucho were "Let me make one thing perfectly clear."
taken in the matter until Central
need a place to get away for a short
appeared. Bina Georgina, the ( A I . I K O H M A (USQ—Tommy Ncwsom and Ed Sullivan were named coCouncil, while waiting for a quorom
stay.
weatherwoman, got her start when winners of Kircsl Lawn's "Living Death" award today.
last week, decided to protest the
The contributions came in surtheir mothers were making lasagna M A R I N E I . A N D ( B l l ) - K a l i e Killjoy, the little girl from the "llippir" | v.
budget's provisions (or lack of) for
prisingly easily as Tell-a-Don
together.
series, announced plans to marry Ihe large dolphin today. Her parents were
Albany. They have instructed the
workers patrolled the Ballroom
The organization's gambling ex- not surprised, saying thai they had expected the move tuna or lulei
Admissions Office here to drastically
making clear their desire to help
perts, who put the odds of success at
reduce the number of new and
their fellows.
4:2, also produced much money.
transfer students admitted to
On entering the Ballroom,
They also sang Ihe theme song "Let's KRISBEEI.AND(UR) The high-prince UmbangooftheEust African nation
S U N Y A for the 74-75 school year.
audience members were stamped on
be Amici," during the sing-sing in <il Irisbecland has dealt a severe blow to himself and future leaders ol that
Council felt that this moveuwould
country. Last night, during the traditional dance of the melons, the midclnv
the hand with "Make me an offer I
from of Ihe Albany Vice Squad.
not only alleviate some of the overbitngp tripped over a large casaba, landing on his frontmosl extremity.
can't refuse."
They received money in the form
crowded conditions here due to
Needless to say, all hopes of Umbango fathering an heir to his Inline throne
i. The Tell-a-Don workers all wore
of markers from many, amounting
physical plant limitations, bin it
were crushed.
the same uniform—light, striped
to a total of SI J million bananas, to
would also sufficiently spite the rest
I.OS A N ( , E I . E S | U R ) folic Fields was caught streaking across a downtown
suits, black shirts and white tics.
which Bina denrgina is allergic.
street loday. making her Ihe lirst person to be arrested for indeceni m-crexIMIIIItMIMMftflMMIMIMIMI
postire.
GRADUATES - READ THIS!
DISNKVWOKI.O (tilt) Three Wall Disney stars have announced plans to
sue Wall Disney Production, Inc. this spring. Hambi has a SI.2 million suit
pending, claiming that he was "forced " as a youngster to perlorm m J *ig
film, Ms. Minnie Mouse has demanded a bigger cm of Ihe cheese I inally,
Donald Duck feels that Ihe fact that he was represented as an "incoherent
idiot" in his films has shattered his political career.
Don't forget to order your CRAPS AND GROANS.
Order forms are available in the Bookstore.
Please remember to have yourself measured for
your craps!
HARRISBURG(PA.)Tcnnsyfvuiila enacted an anti-slrcaking law u-sicriluv.
All apprehended streakers will be forced to watch ten days ol continuous
showings ol the latest porno films as a deterrent to their compulsion inranin
the nude. II the porno films don't turn them off to nudity, ToticTields willbc
on hand to streak around while the offender is strapped in a chair. I hen tlie
offender will be run out of town on a rail, tarred leathered, and his clothes
confiscated. Second offenders will receive an additional $10.01) fine loi indecent exposure.
FOUL-IT flJNY BOOkTOR€
[•iiiiiiaiijimi«tininlf^ititrintTtttriitiiiTtijitiiiirinui*tttit*sri«iim»inffiitlM|-tia«inmiii a
-i > aiaii
WHAT'S UP,
DOCK
TH€ TBU€ STOW Of TH€ TITMC
i
YELLO
SUBMARINE
A source says the TBI, C I A . and Execulive Branch of the federal governntenl will reject any applicant who has a streaking record. These agencies are
involved in keeping things covered up, and are not interested in anyone who
would expose anything.
P L k I M , (AC) I he price of beans in this nation was seen dropping to an all
lime low ol .1 yen per bushel. Americans here are disinterested, however,
I hey are asking "What does this have lo do with the price ol peas in iltc
U.S.T
AWL BENNY STAID SIN EMMA
by Inquisitor
Sun-Yeh Pirg. a ChineseAmerican student at Albany State
released a detailed study ol area utility prices compiled by himself and a
group of researchers.
I'irg charged New' York "Belle"
with monopolistic practices and
price fixing. Said I'irg. "livery
telephone on this campus without
exception is charging the exact same
rale for phone calls, which we ingeniously computed to be ten cents
per message unit." Not only that,
I'irg added, hill die study indicates
that (hill same rale is charged lo
every phone in the entire AlbanyI roy-Sehcneclady area.
TRANSCENDENTAL
CONSTIPATION
Bills Hopped Over at Kangaroo Council
hy Roberto Jordano
Kangaroo Council mcl lust
Wednesday night for what promised
to be the very Inst time in its long, ignohle career. Nol one bill was passed
at the Wednesday session, which
culminated seven hours of intense
debate over the time that Council
should adjourn.
hope ol accomplishing more. Thus,
the lirst words mil of l.ongsirccl's
mouth were, "The meeting is adjourned." By ihc lime the Council
realized the mistake, the serious
mood thai Ihe Heinekin had imposed had begun to diminish.
An incident thri atened lo disrupt
the harmonious relations between
Council members, as one member
Before the Coiincilmcmbers, two
from Dutch Quad accused Vicehills dealing with permanent student
Chairperson Charlie Bowels of taprepresentation to all academic comping the kcgsincorrcclly. "Shit, the
mittees, one bill concerning banning
whole thing'll he full of loam," the
all hand guns on campus, and one
Councilman was purported to have
proposal in make the Ad* said.
ministration directly accountable lo
student leedhuck were tabled for the
Thirteen members of the Council
lirst meeting in September.
were impeached after live minutes'
Within 45 minutes the kegs were
drained, and Council recommenced
the meeting.
I he Kangaroo Council had decided til its previoiismcelingln conduct
ihe meeting in reverse order, in the
TO; All S.ll.N.V.A. Employees
CKOM: Personnel Office
I t l : S I A N D A U D PROCEDURE
Ol
INS I R U C I IONS IN THE
I VIM
Of
Dl A M I
Ol- AN
EMPLOYEE
It lias come to the attention ol this
Office thai many employees are dying on ihe Jul), lor apparent I) no
ison at .ill. furthermore
these siiinc employees are refusing lo
alter llicy arc dead.
II I ICIIVI AS Of NOVEMBER
22.1971
\nv employee lound sitting lifter
lie oi she lias died will he dropped
Irom payroll at once.
Ii alter several hours has passed it
is noticed that an employee has not
for distributing beer lo students
without checking proof. Security
had
previously
threatened
Longstrecl aboul any such action,
bin Longstrecl obviously decided lo
hruve Security's threats and go
ahead wilh his plans to drown the
meeting in ihe golden bubbly brew.
Six Councilniemhers were earned
oil in stretchers by Infirmary personnel a l i a complaining that they
thought Ihe room was "spinning
around really last."
I his. I'irg said, is an ohv ions example of monopolistic price-fixing,
"I ean'l iindcrsiundwhv (he Public
Service Commission hasn'l caught
Ibis helore. Reports have il that ihey
have been conducting this blatantly
illegal activity for years."
Comments hy N. V. I el executives
were nol difficult in obtaining.
"What the hell is wrong with Ibis
guy'.1" asked one official, who requested to remain unnamed.
"What the hell-is wrong vvilli this
guy'.'" another unnamed Bell lei official said. "Jesus."' he said. "You
leach litem Kung-fu and they think
they're Don Quixote."
The strangest words toward the
just-released study came Irom Company Chairman of Ihe Board, who
Director oi ihe Infumitv. Janet
exhorted! "Whal Ihe hell is wrong
Hooker, said, " I heir livers won't he
wiih this guy'.'" •
healed lor about three mouths. Il
Sun-Yeh I'irg has released it lew
shows you how these poor students oilier surveys recently'. In a comwere led from the paths of
discussion for allegedly having a
prehensive review of SUNYA'sdinrighteousness and strayed toward
perfect attendance record.
ing halls the Chinese Public research
The decision to bring beer tojjjfc, ih c course ol sin. I think it's a shockwonder found luiittlstie differences
ing disgrace." she said as she finished in lood quantity, quality, form,
meeting was made by Longstrecl
alter serious deliberation, as he was her aller-lunch martini.
shape, age. texture, taslc. smell,
laced wilh possible imprisonment
In oilier business, Council didn't
appearance, anil clarity irom hall to
accomplish any.
moved or changed position, Ihe ini-l
mediate
supervisor will invest igateheenusc oi highly sensitive
nature ol our employees and tlie
resemblance between death and their
natural working attitude, this investigation will hcmudcquicily sons
Ibis action comes in Ihe
lo not disturb the employee if he or h> The Way
reawakening of the two-year
In a rare departure from usual
she is sleeping.
presidency ol Michael Armpit. Armprocedure, SA Com roller Boh
II sonic doubt persists as to liveacpit, frustrated hy his inability to
Counteract
froze
the
entire
SA
liiiil condition ol ihc employee, exbuild vasl edifices in the manner of
htidgel.
and
diverted
it
to
the
tend a paycheck in Ihe general ditec
former
Governor
Nillson
purchase
of
Waverly
Place.
linn ol the employee, lithe employee
Rockefeller, when defeated in his
Counteract,
who
is
presently
does nol leach for it. il may be
nllempt to convert Ihe Civm into a
residing in Waverly Place, and serreasonably assumed thai the person
field House and convert the tennis
ving as caretaker lor a weekly salary
is dead. (Nolc: In some instances the
couris into extended grandstands,
ol Slllll plus rent, was heard lo
insimclisso great, that ti spasmodic
decided lo nun his energies lo the acdutch action may occur, D O NOT . remark ilun he was "just a roman- quisition ol already constructed
tic,"
I.LI I I I I S TOOL YOU).
APRIL 2
LC12
||fta^#ft::W::ft^^
FIVE SLEAZY
LEASES
Ai taught by Mahalriihi Mahooth Exlax
LECTURE
APRIL 1
IN D€PTH P&OBC Of i H t l Y
umOBK
8:30 PM
LC26
•mnmnlimsemehetl lib universe. Nol only the /I/I.I'.VHW rtalitlvs. hut his own .sense*
where the transfer oj information cranes u basis,for inicllinent existence. Is i>ttrl »/ « | r
Ihe until can he lotiml: the meaning ol existence is within oonimsp.
mii'sl tfiw»"f //if W W
thiimumi
NEWS PAGE THE SECOND
AWFULtY STUPID MESS
imwulLSUNYt
JULY 1, 19 5 3
AUGUST 19, 1953
Waterbury's dining hall. Pirg discovered, gave an average of 24
strands of spaghetti averaging X.9 inches each while Dutch Quad dining
room gave 1.1 strands averaging 7.5
inches! Sun-Yeh did say that the
strands on Dutch had a greater
diameter: neither. howcvcr;werc as
fat as the ones on State. The study
also showed that Colonial and
Biubacher averaged 1685 rat hairs
per "Mr. Albany Student" normal
meal, while the newer Indian averaged just under a thousand. "Uiiuei
In the future,
I'irg and his
researchers plan to compare toilet
paper textures aboul the campus and
survey the inliimaries. bookstores
and gyms al SUNYA. The toilet
pnpC!'<4llrvcy is already rolling: a
eiVm'fhifiir has helped them establish
live" Witcgories: Splintering. Stiff.
I It ilililriauv i| .ush a ud T .oose.
Hhg Wiihlv lo investigate the
TegatifiCs>til if! marijuana price stir?
.V'aK;i<v.»ille.<lll,ldm'IWe.'Wuni lo uy lo
reduce these ahsui'dilhiily-to-eighlv
per m i l markups that many dealers
seem lo think are reasonable." Indeed, markups ol us much as .11)11',
have been reported.
I'irg did not comment on the
rumors that he mid his assistants
would be comparing graffiti. Il has
been said thai SUNYA graffiti is less
iiileresiiug. shorter, and simply less
common ihui thai ol oilier American
universities.
Counteract Buys Waverly Place
7:30 PM
THe UNTOLD HKTOKY Of WfUH
Students may have noticed SunYeh and his assistants roaming
about their dining room, measuring
chicken hones und noticing what
color the bread turns when they
dropped certain chemicals on it. Pirg
was able lo obtain a Carbon-14
dating processing machine to determine how long certain desserts had
been on the shelves.
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
buildings.
Onee again, he was Unvaried in his
iitler.ipis lo buy Ihe old D & I I
Building downtown, but felt some
salislnelion in persuading his friend.
Ernie, to add that properly to the
already large Stale University ol
New York.
Sources in SA that werequilchigh
predicted the moving of SA olfiees
Irom the Campus Center lo Waverly
Place. " I h a l way." the source
mumbled. "Ihey could he lirst on line
when Ihey sell the tickets lo the Bob
Dylan concert nexl month." He then
looked terribly upsci and said ihai il
was a secret and oliered this reporter
two tickets lo keep silent oil lllis.
litis rc/iuner unreal.
Willi ihe departure ol ihe Student
Association Irom Ihe Campus
•Center, it is expected I (nil Ihc
Album Student Press will move into
room .14<>. vacating rooms .12.1 and
,1.1ft, keeping rooms .1.14 as the West
Wing Branch. VYSUA will gel .12.1
and .1.14 would go to the International Students Association,
Ol course, operation without any
money will call loi austerity
measures on Ihe pari ol the various
SA groups.
I he Buttling Cluh is selling ils
boat, and buying a poster of Ihe
Carrihheau; Ihe Skydiving Cluh will
have skyga/ing sessions in the formal gardens; WSUA will retrieve nil
used cans and string from the S UN Y
peach cartons discarded by T'SA
(eventually any suite: will he able to
hook in. in mono or stereo): and the
Alhany Sttideal Press will continue
operations on a special ingenious
buffer fund created hyJolTRcgcrsin
1972.
NEWS PAGE THE THIRD
Bill Would Chop Mandatory Taxes
the Hell Am I Doing Here?"
ttfrmmmmmttrngH
A new ncond field h u been
proposed by Dr. Ralph Kramdon of
tl* SUNYA bus line. "SUNYA and
whattheheUamldoinghererwM
proposedtdUnivenityCollegetoinsure sanity among the students
attending as, Dr. Kramdon put it,"a
goddamn pressure cooker." Kramdon contends that students are not
ready for college Hie until after they
have graduated and that his set of
new courses will help students take
full advantage of the SUN Y A system
and community
Courses . in the field range from
freshman to senior level and are all)
newly created to help the student
make hit wiy from the "I mi* Mommy"" syndrome to the "Oh God, it's
senior year and soon J'lli have to
work." crista
,
The couraes are not listed in the
74,73 coursedescnpuoncatalo|>
upon Dr. Norton's request, here they
«f«
SUN YA 100 Hownol load like
ihe freshman you nrr.An informative lecture course dealing with
the trials and tribulations of
Freshman life and how to adjust to
them. Selected topics for the subject
include; "Howtoavoidtookingupat
the tall tower when you walk by it,".
"How to look like you know where
you're going" (Including the famous
Indian-Dutch-Colonial-State
history method), "How to adjust to
University food and the use of your
dormitory toilet,". "How to live in a
triple for a year without meeting
your roomales,". and "How to drop
out of school and work for food service lor four years and still get into
law school."
Three credits. One fun-filled lecture per week, taught by the R.A.
stall'.
•^SUNYA 150 How w drop
Hlijlogy, Chemistry and Calculus
and still convince your father thai
Myou're going to Med. school. A
|.,.* useful course for the 9S0 out of 1000
pre-med students who come to
Albany in September with dreams of
stethoscopes and fat wallets and
leave in December with thoughts of
taking up the clarinet.
Two credits, taught by Rufus
No on» likte to be only Karl
"Have a drop card" Firefly.
salt when going all tho way.
-SUNYA
200
Campus
Harvard Condomaa ara
Happenings and how to wail on line.
tested in the Hold and In the
From yourfirstthree day beer line to
laboratory for 1,000 houra
your last lour week book line, this
before they ara allowedtobo
course teaches you how to deal with
sold to the public. Those
this common problem, emphasizing
foreign brands may help prethe "sneaking in the side door technivent the spread of venereal
que." the "I just want to get to the
diaeaaa, but It la a little
Katskellur" method and the "How
known fact that the foreign
do you know the Albany Narc squad
condomaa cauae a 52%
is coming to the concert" favorite.
pregnancy rate.That makes
One credit, including a lab course
aa much eenee aa flipping a
in Pre-Registration Technique,
coin before aei aa a means of
taught by Hugo "Between the
contraception, it you flip a
knees" Hackenbush.
coin instead of aex, maybe.
—SUNYA 33 Fraternities and
But be/ore la ill adviaed.
Sororities—how to join them, how
Thousands of our eatiafled
Yjpur first
condome
should be a
Harvard®
Con
customers will testify (on requeat) to our confidentiality.
You need never fear that
aomeone will catch you
r e c e i v i n g a condome
through the mail. They are
mailed in a plain brown box,
wrapped in a plain brown
wrapper in a plain brown
enveloi
lo avoid ihtm, andhow lo makefun
o/Mem.AgoodVourse for students
without Thursday night classes, it
brings students on field trips to beer
blasts, pajama parties, and other
mixer events. Observe rushee whippings, the daily morning hangovers,
and learn how to call your roomate
"Brother" without laughing.
Two credits and a six pack of Bud,
taught by Joe "Rah, rah sis boom
bah" College.
—SUNYA 315 Drug use al
Albany—How lo avoid Ihe pusher
man, how to find the pusher man,,
and how lo gel Ihe right price. A
casual, low key course that begins
where you're high school health class
left off.
Learn how to fake being stoned by
Ihe giggle, munchie technique, or
learn how to fake being straight by
the intellectual • rap method. This
course has a required cliche list, including such famous lingo as "Hey
man, wanna do a number,". "Gee
Mr. Policeman, this dope isn't mine,
I'm holding it lor a friend,", and
"Goddamn the pusher man." If
you've ever wondered who was burning the leaves during Yellow Submarine or if you think it is still
September, this course is lor you.
Taught by whats his name,
whenever it meets.
- S U N Y A 395 Sex al SUNYA
and how to adjust to finding a bra in
your laundry load. Hailed as one of
the only useful courses at the University, this is a must lor any person
who is u member of the two major
sexes. Taught in the field, selected
topics include "How to penny
yourself into your room,". "How to
attract seductive women without
huir on you chest,". "How to attract
seductive men without hair on your
chest.". "The key to continuing a
sexual relationship during the
summer without resorting to the
hack seat," and "How to sleep in a
water bed without having wet
dreams."
without smelling. An exciting
course, filled with fun and garnet for
all its students, with emphasis on
symmetrical pine tree growing, the
primary colors of cement and an intensive study of the history of phallic
symbol architecture.
Every E you find lit up on the
podium at night is worth one credit.
Taught as often as the students can
stomach it, by stoned Eddie "Mirror
Mind" Dwell.
SUNYA 435 Your senior year—
"(Jod, I'm graduating." A wonderful
collection of seminars with a host of
great speakers, including exgovernor Nillson Rockefeller lecturing on "How to get a head," and
Hohn Lcnnon, talking on "How to
become i head." Universal copout
techniques are taught, everything
from "Grad school, what wIseT to
"Man. I gotta see this country" and
SCHiOuK e' cusses
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culminating in "Bowery, here 1
come." Taught whenever you need it
(and you know you dot) by Robinson Crusoe. 0 "credits (who needs
them, anyway!)
- S U N Y A 451 Suicide at
SUN YA—To eat your dinner in the
dining hall and die of rat poisoning
or nol lo eal and die of broken candy
machines. Recommended for all law
and med school rejections, we try I j
get into the creative art of suicide.
Selected techniques include eating
concrete (low rises preferred), slitting your wrist with an electric
shaver, hanging yourself with your
roommates jock strap, and diving oil
,thc tower without creating a mess.
You won't need credits where you're
going. Taught by Marilyn Monroe,
Ernest Hemingway and Adolf
Hitler. (See accompanying lisi of
curricula).
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Taught nightly by Edward "What
do you mean they're not good if you
keep theminyourwallefGoodyear.
-SUNYA
410
Albany
Architecture—How
to tell the
differences between the quads
State ISniuerBftrj jKtuitualfttciettfsponsors:
A Situating Snumamunt
Hai
ilfl-femgljt on %t (Mitefootballfield
If it wasn't, it's
NOTTOOLATEl
P » ~ - c u t along dotted line*—•
li-v/ / haw enough social
coii.tiiuisness in mi down on the
pii'iituiion boom. Rush me
'.^Jlaryunl"'
(ondomei
by Ann Dlarge
Governor Malcome Wilson signed into law last week an act making it
illegal to have separate male/female
elassil'icatior names on rcstroom
doors in public buildings. The act is
intended to reduce discrimination,
stereotyping ol sex roles, and the
degradation of women and men.
Entrants must aupplo oum artnnr.
Winner*
uiiU recetue blatant kntgljti|onii into trjeftorjal(Drier of fiurrell &tone.
(1-NS) I he world may soon face a
plenitudinous abundance of shortages not to mention a lot of them,
for one thing, there may bea decline
in the supply ol Newt's tails from
Peru, So what, you may ask. Well, it
seems there might be world-wide
repercussions, since the green, scaly
tails are Mao Ise lung's favorite
dish. China has threatened to annex
South America to preserve a newt
supply for Mao.
How about this a shortage of
nipples for baby bottles is expected
soon. I his may cause a reversion to '
more primitive feedings methods lor
babies, which would result in indecent exposure charges if the baby is
led in public.
Put this in your pipe and smoke
it A shortage is coming which will
affect all our daily lives. The world
production is falling off in gaseous
4. u dimethyl triethyl monocarbo
hydraniide-7. litis chemical is
crucial in Ihe manufacture of the
well-known monochloro-hcpclhyltriborosylicalc compounds, used in
making toothpicks, and could leave
1ARVARD TAMPOON
|AND CONDOME INC
'Harvard, West Virginia V2J0M
will receivefreeburial brJirnb <m,apei House {m
mm notifQ
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
CAPITOL
RETORT
He May Be
Forced To
Quit Soon
(FNS) In a total reversal of nil
previous position. President Nixon
has admitted that it is conceivable
that he may be forced to quit-drinking alcohol. He said his doctor
ordered him to. Headded that he has
been hitting the bottle fairly hard
lately for some reason. This may explain his recurrent mistakes in using
wrong words, such as when in a
broadcast he said "foreign enemy"
instead of "foreign energy" and his
constantly saying we must "preserve
the office of the Presidency" when he
really means "save my neck."
Nixon Guilt In Watergate Proved
Beyond Doubt By ASP Reporter
by By Misameric,Ann I'ye
Dan Rather, former ASP cor- found, and it certainly was no accirespondent in Washington, has dent.
Ihc document in the pholo has
lound concrete evidence of President
Nixon's guilt in the VVatergate been identified as an order authorizing the "plumbers." and AST*
coverup.
Posing as a paper-shredder Graphologist Manucll liscritt hat,
maintenance man on call lo lubricate confirmed thai the signature on it
the 15,000-documcnt eapapcity belongs lo the President. Also, the
shredder machine, he pieced date on the President's, calendar
together a photograph taken by Julie watch indicates thai he did know
hiscn bower which clearly shows about the Watergate coverup before
President N.ixqn, al work.erasing the his March 21 meeting With' . 'John
Dean.
Ininou,/), ,l,S,-niiiHiie segment on a
In a related excursion through
tape. (Sec photo)
While House Shreds. Rather found
In Nixon's left hand is a powerful
electromagnet which has a defective another photo showing President
switch. Rather says this explains I Nixon aboard Air force I flying to
why the tape erasure was the result of his retreat at Camp David. On his
window is taped a chart of voice
several erasures, as experts have
patterns. Ihe ASP Audiologisl has
determined that the word that the
Presidenl is pointing to is "coverup."
Since Ihe chart is dated March 15.
that contradicts the President's oftrepeated story of knowing nothing.
The reason that the chart was taped
to the window. While House
Sources report, is thai the I'residcnt
strongly feared being seen from the
outside. I he president fell thai there
would be no way for outsiders to see
the cllarl that way. litis was Ron
Ziegler's first A I- I pholo. contrary
to popular belief.
In the way of authentication, first
Rather checked ihe flight log of Air
Force tinc7Tle compared that with
the I ide fables for the l.os Angeles
area. He checked with the
President's wardrobe log. and found
out thai the only time that Ihc sun
could have been al thai angle, from
thai pan of the sky. reflected from
the Pacific Ocean at that particular
state of I ide. with Ihe President
wearing thai jacket and coat (see
lap), with Ihc stale of the President's
hairline and jaw tension, would he
right before his August ^announcement.
Copies ol today's Kick In Ihe Asp
arc being forwarded lo Cong.
Rodino. Sens. Hrvin and Baker.
Judge Sirica and tho the manager of
the Watergate hold. (Alter the
break-in. he remarked to aiv HBI
agent "Ibis is interesting. Let me
know how it turns out."?
AH New Flying Club
in Heaven, Room 137
on January l«tt OOOO
at 0:00 am
Beautifully faked mahogany bedroom and
study sets (a dresser and desk, that is).
Elegant white bedroom walls (with choice
of blucky blue, icky aqua, piss yellow, and
gruesome green for the suite. Choice views
from towers of campus or parking lots...
just to name a few advantages.
AII thisfor only $640.00 a month.
How can you refuse?
Be sure to get on line at least 27 hours
before housing registration starts, and be
prepared to FIGHT when it opens.
Herts $3.50
Remember... Registration starts
iTOMORROWat 9Y00am,
ttrrrfilpento mill be iemeu.
NEWS PAGE THE FOURTH
You didn't think this wait
N A T I O N A L WILDLIVING
WK.KK, did you? You were right, it
wasn't. You can celebrate it anyway
by living wildly this week
Next semester move into one of our spacious,
luxuriously furnished suites.
next of bin).
A&mtaaUm:
noblef $1.00
the world without a supply ol the
popular by-product hexadiexo
nnnyl-5.3 formal formate/G .91120.
No more soda pop.
Ready for another shortage?
I here will be a lack of newsprint
s o o n , as everyone knows.
Newspapers will have lo condense
the news. Ihe limes plans to omit all
verbs from its pages in order to
save space.
Your Off-Campus Apartment
Cramped?
ffiuaeru:
address
sta ..id color.
Of Public Restrooms
biological reasons why the
restrooms must he labeled by sex.
i Asked whether this and other recent laws were going just a bit too
much ovebonrd on ending sexist discrimination, the hill's sponsor. Sen.
Hugh Manitarian said he hoped to
,cncl "ihe senseless, ancient archtypal
and interior position,,!' women and
men in society, blah. blah, etc." and
he wants too "give them equality al
last." "Besides," he said, "it will be
more fun. You never know who is
going to walk in on vou."
More Shortages Sweep U.S.
1 HaNUUAHa I
I HABUUaHA I I
1 HAPlJuaiiaitl
I D»HSNt-VI0L>'tr
justified because the mandatory tax guard, the Mall project and state-run
is
Setting out of hand and is a hinhospitals and parks. Hayne says we
dranccto many people. Webstersays will just have to get by on less.
re
l a w is
00
T h e P «n<
« much of a
Asked whether the disadvantage!
.•""'<•«'. It discourages immigrants, might outweigh the advantage! gainl0 ,nc
»tate,"makes them go to ed, Hayne said, "Who needs parka
California instead. The bill will help and recreation?" Critics say such
the underprivileged. No one should things are a necessary part of life,
be discouraged from entering the however.
'
State because ol this outmoded tax."
Opponents say the 10 per cent
limit will disrupt many minor functions of the State, such as road construction and maintenance, welfare,
aid to schools, the state national
New Law Outlaws SexOriented Labeling
A building may lable its restraints
by sex only if the operator first
receives written notice from the
Slate Uored of Health, alter the
owner explains in writing valid
I
I IHTP.0 SEEP
I aaiiaNtiKc
1 Mjana-Music
by Sue Rebuff and' Chllar COM,
Negotiation currently before the
State Assembly would sharply limit
the mandatory income tax levied by
New York State on all wage earning
citizens. It also provides that no
more than IU per cent of the revenue
could be spent for any one item in the
State budget. The tax would be
limited to $50 dollars per year per
person.
The bill's bipartisan sponsors,
Assemblyman Darnell Webster (R.
Union) and J.C. Calhoun (D.
Southland) claim that the measure is
amn
et«»waaas»aPtiatgi^tgMMgg|^
OCTOBER 11, 1951
SEPTEMBER 8 1962
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
iOFF-CAMPUS; NEWS-PAGE THE FIRSTnlnwOiant ar.//'.-s c^ar.
.".
W
~ — . *
* * » * * » " * - .
• • • * " * * ' *
• R M M
X
_|l
II
•••""•-•
"f/seizu
rvert/seizure/pervert/seizure/perverikeizure/pervert/seizurej
Tricks and Tramps
Contest Rules
Puzzle solvers must be admitted to the Albany Student Press
Psycho Ward (Oneida 306) by Monday, 3 p.m. previous to the
Friday that the puzzle appears.
Tuesday, July 7
International Stud Association: presents a multinational Prostitution Weekend in honor of international Brothelhood Week; in the Campus Center
Ball Room at 9 p.m. Workshops and playshops in
Massage etc. Admission is $10 per hour (free to
professionals of upright standing) Come and enjoy!
Kilhth Schlepp Coffeehouse presents Lefty Gork,
semi-professional kazoo player and stand-up comic of "Refuse" fame. However, entertainment is by
lone ten-year old female bassoonist. Your doNations are accepted, but your do-Nuts arc
preferred. We have the coffee, if you have the pot!
Monday, February 21
*
Gay Alliance: will hold the "social event of the
year" with its third annual "Coming Out Party."
Gays. Straights and crookeds are invited to attend.
Price of admission is $1 for homosexuals and
heterosexuals. S2 for bisexuals, and asexuals get
in for free.
Junior Piano Recital: was presented two weeks
ago. Selections came from the great works ol
Steinway. Baldwin, and Hammond. Held in the
P.A.C. washroom, tickests are available in BA-SS.
Graduate Exhibitions: private parts of the
graduates on exhibition in the University Fine
harts Galleryt. Open to the pubic for inspection.
(Fondled by Student Association).
*
*
*
Name, address, phone number, sex, measurements, marital
status, and other pertinent information must accompany
every male solver's B x 10 glossy, nude photograph.
Thursday, December 19
Alumni, Indian, Colonial, and Dutch Quad Parly:
tomorrow at the RPI Held house. Music is by Star
Studded Ironing Board Band and the Livingston
Trio, r u n starts as s o o n as everybody leaves. Admission is $7.50 with State Quad card and $1
without. Price includes all the beer you can drink,
while you last.
Chicken-Weighs: Interested in having beer spilled
over your clothes, smoke blown in your face, and
music pounding in your ears? Then come and join
in on the fun T O N I G H T ! when C W s features
"Sardines" (because that's the way you'll feel) Admission is S3 with tax card and S.50 without. Beer,
munchies. music and entertainment will be sold.
Doors open as soon as the smoke level reaches the
point ol tripping the fire alarm system.
*
•
*
*
*
Females need not apply.
*
SOUTH
S
X76.
H
M(i4
1)
987
e 954
EAST
S
void
II
A
I)
AKOJ642
C
K..I732
*
H
1)
*
Close friends of the Preview Editor will be picked at random j
Saturday night, tweive-ish, her apartment.
Each of the three winners will receive a $10 gift certificate inj
the Dining Hall of their choice. This must be claimed within 21
semesters ol notification.
*
*
*
Only one winner is entitled to $681 gift certificate of medical j
care at the infirmary. This will automatically be claimed !
within 24 hours of consuming $10 worth of food from a Quad j
pining Hall.
iiiiiiiiiiiiiimimiMiimtiiiiiiiim
Senior Piano Recital: hear music majors recite
"piano, piano, piano" for a few hours this afternoon. L.C. 27
c
Recently. 1 was playing lor the
Kubbcr Bridge Championship in the
citv cil Nedla when the following
summon occurred. It wtts the linnls.
iincl my partner Heartless Blank and
•;.v : * ; * • •
Movie Timetable
mm mei\cm
CTUDCNT dftOC
Portnoiy's Complaint
Fri.: Sundown
Inuendo
Sat. and Sun.: 4:24
MUMCHklM CLUB
CTUDG1T dtfOC
Walking Tall
plus selected short subjects
In Yours
Sat. and Sun.: 4:25
Mon.: 8:00. 8:05,8:10
*%,,
I'm O.K., You're O.K.
I'ues. id alternate ifhurs.: 9:32,
11:56
file recent l-lorida Slate Championship held during the last vacation was the site of intense struggles
in chess, fhe tournament managed
to attract the world eltampoiu Hobby lischer as well as many
eelehralies. liven the President, who
was staying at his Key Biscanc office
al the lime, managed lo play againe.
However he was paired' ill the lirsl
round against the favorite Icon
.laworski. I he game resulted in new
definitions ol some rules ol chess:
A B r W grlTC ClflGIrl '•
I he Drivel and Miss Jones
Whats I p—Cock?
Jello Submarine
fine Sleezy Leases
whenever anyone shows
t'.C. 34«
Off Color
cineMa 7
row eiCT emend
Off-White and the Seven
Pimps
Sun.: 11:00
The Devil and Miss Dove
HOLMM
Mayonnaise
plus
€ f G —HUH
Ham
Cheese
Last Waltz in Vienna
Mon.-FrL; 12:00, 2:00 p.m.
Sat. : 10:00
CIH€ 1 2 3 4
MA
WBCL€B€»Y
Deep Armpit
Rated Q
I h u r s : 8:00,8:15,8:20,8:21 infirmary
srut
m :NT / w o e
The First Circle
The Kxctrcfver
A Championship Season
Sunday afternoons
Mon.: 1:00
The Third Man
Wed.L 3:00
Flounder
Four Ever Amber
' " " " . : 4:00
EWPAGE THE FIFST
"
ACROSS
2. Now
4.
5.
7.
B.
9.
"
DOWN
1. What ears do.
2. "Hear,
1" (Bravo!).
3. Second half of 7 A cross.
4. What deaf can not do.
5.
ing aid.
6. Follows the command • "Come
this.
no evil.
me, OTordl"
Oir (Eng.).
First half ol 2 Across.
Second half of 1 Down.
Ifi. Opposite of there.
we go 112. I'll be right
11
(same spot)
13 Where you are right now.
8. Where 'it's never at.
10. Are you really
Five Easy Piece*
Fri.: 5:00
- —
— MESS
_
AWFULLY
STUPID
Whit* movM
L.J.
I. P-K4
2.1'xP
3. PxN (a)
K.N.
P-Q4
N-OB3
0-O2
7
) 1 . Comes before
rl "
12. First half of 10 Down.
The Odd Couple
lues.: 2:00
RISING BtC
s: 'S2S2ft.il* g#«• as** mi
F5F
Alter much decision. Heartless
chose I he lead ol n small spade. I hus
I was able to get my Aceof hearts off
White moves
ABCDIfGHUKlMNOHMST
uvwxrz
in any
K A P (b)
5. P-Q4
l'-K4
6. PxPch
K-Q3!!!(cl
Notes- (a) Al this point, black claimed that only he knew that he had
ly meant N-KH3, however the tournament director (.1. Sirica) ruled that
the move would have to sland. (b) It
is probably better to recapture with
the queen, however alter the game
black claimed that the king would
have more control on the right wing
alter KxP. (c) White objected to this
move, but black maintained that the
King was immune from attack from
a mere pawn or a queen. This claim
has not as yet been decided upon by
USCT' but it dramatic crisis seems
to be imminent.
HeWbJBBBBT H
IIBIBW
R.F.
I. P-KN3
2.P-K4
E.L.
I'-Q3
N-QB300
watch
the ALL-NEW
ALL-DIFFERENT
Mmcdoi)
Tuetufam
the fence. Next. Mark Hand tried lo
live us a nick in diamonds. He led
the three nl 1 the board. I ducked, and
smiled when my parlncrgot rid of his
Ace clubs, flic rest of the hand was
spent just unloading the highest
possiblccardswe could, and making
sure we could duck all possible
tricks. Notice that without the
brilliant lead, and poor choice of a
lead by declarer al trick two. that today we would be sharing our title
with the Hand brothers. (Next week
an illustration ol the Italian squeeze
play).
Wedmdtuj
Friday
rltofcfo «fj GeM
NEW SOUNDS
Chess
by Jock 1'ppit
H-H4
P-Q3
P-KB3
N-K2
K-U2 (b)
H-K3
The tournament was won by a surprise entry who defeated Bobby
Hscher in the last round. Eric
Lonschein (who also was fortunate
to be in Horida that weekend) upset
Hscher in the last Round:
• » • * • • • w rtVSSMal rSJBBJ
letters may be u—d mon than once
For VARIETY
COLOR!
Midnight
WONCMUIB
I were lacing the Hand Brothers,
Mark I). Mainland Hil!call A. Hand,
in the finals. This notorious pair is
noted for often fumbling their
hands, and exposing key cards.
Alter splitting the first six rubbers
in lite best til'seven series. Mr. Blank
and myself got sonic good cards. We
quickly became vulnerable, and
forced the Hand brothers into having to make some ridiculous
sacrifices, We had built up a 7000
point lead, when the above hand
happened. Alter I opened with a
slicing two-bid. my partner went to
Hhickwell and I annnuncedtwo aces.
My partner then jumped right to
sc\cn spades. Altera quick talk with
Ins partner. Mark Hand hid the only
thing possible. Seven No-frump.
I his my partner doubled and we all
passed. I hen u was announced by
ilie committee chairman that this
was the last hand. Since both teams
had one game on. a draw would have
lo he called il no one won this
game. With a large lead, we could allofd lo lose lllis game and we would
slil! win the rubber. I hus. we went
into our lainous Polish defense.
4. P x l k h
CROTCH QUrtD CIMGMrl
Spermico
Everynight: Bedtime
AKQ.I432
KJ 732
void
A
KIDDINCi
NOR I I I
hiss
Pass l : A S I
Pass 21>
WliSI
511
4NI
I'ass 7 S
SOUIH
Douh. I'ass
I'ass
1
7.NI
All Pass
WWHWW«W»W»»W>WW»WWWWI>«WW«WHWtWH>WWWWW«»IMWI»MIWM»l)H>»»
On Target
NORTH
S
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II
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1053
C
Q10K6
WliSI
S
Only close friends of the Preview Editor are eligible.
. *
•i M
N-B3
K-N5
I1-Q2
N-K4
N-H3
N-KNI(cl
felWil MA
MIwrm
m JK&VftAJI
SB t ifijii H &
Jrj • B i l i 11
s,^*. Is M 5
WEEKDAY 10-4 am
"LAST
WEEK"
Interview with STUDENT ASS. candidates
Ira fcirmblo
whit* mpv*»
9.
III.
||
12.
13.
K-N2
H-NI
O-KBIH
0-H2
PxP'.'
Notes -(a) Hie opening is pretty normal, fhe name of the game is
development, (b) It is important for
white to guard his KliP. (c) The
knight was not doing much good at
KU3 so the plan isloput in on KR3.
(d) Il is imperative to prevent while
from truding bishops before black
adminslers the mate.
When asked about his surprise
win over lischer, Eric replied; "No
one is more surprised than I urn .
Alter all, I hud to spend the whole
night before in the Campus Center
reviewing the Chess Club budget.
What else?
&
Galye Knibbaum
N-ONI
Q-lll
B-K3I!
P-04!!!(d)
B-K6inate
speak on
Cumuk
Eneitb
the HfMing and
of
S'A* 's
¥hf^t^
Influence on the
STUDENT BODY
idoi.
APRIL FOOL'3 DAY
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
PREVIEW PAGE THE SECOND
^ 1 *
Quote of tht fay
"There will be no quote of tht day today.'
-ASP Staph
(tar Spangled Washboard Band
ha Why Ye Five-O
Funny Boned
Signs of the Times
upon him: "Who is that kangaroo sirTH*
replied, atnentmindedry. T h e Infirmary ipy,"
Yes. (here il an/Infirmary spy. I ask all to
watch out for him; forthe time being, that isill
we can do. Bt I have the Student Association working on it; help will come.
Do not fear!
?n^tki
Sex And The
Single Suitemate
To the Idiotor:
there is a certain phenomenon that has occurring at Albany State recently that strikes
me as rather odd. It is the strange desire for
privacy that certain pairs of students, usually
of the oppposite sex but 1 don't think
necessarily, seem to have periodically when
they arc together. My roommate recently
stayed in our room lor four hours
with a girl he had been friendly with. Their
conversation, us I heard it through the wall,
consisted mostly of rather deep sighs and some
laughter, this is not rational conversation- I
suspect it is temporary insanity. In any case, I
have found il occurring in other parts of the
school. I want to bring this to your attention.
Tl'«nk you.
Eu Nuck
a
WARN
lowers building.
in peace.
Name Withheld
TW T o o R TASTE. I
n ..ft-
Satirycon
Candles Burning
by Ken W»cksofffc:::::a:»SS^^^
The propensity-to-consume schedule, or j, The dollar votes of people effect prices with
consuption function, relates in a direct
a malignancy of wage and price controls. Gasproportion the level of consumption to levels
oline, as an entity which lends itself towards
of income.
classification as a liquid assetcomma asdue do
small fluid donkeys... Hello, I am a .Smith
The propensity-to-saveschedule or savings Corona Elecira 210. He's in the bathroom
functions, relates income to savings. Since now, so I, thought Td type you a nolecomma
whatever Is saved is equal to what is non- and tell you what its like having to do these
In yesterday's issue we reported that the ASP would not publish today. That was consumed, consumption and savings damn columns every week. If you think you
schedules are exactly alike in the sense that got it lough, what about me? He turns me on
wrong.
saving and consumption together equal dis- about twice a week and that's not enough for
mecomma I got a manual and two ballpoint
In today's issue, the item under "errata" was incorrect. It should have read . . . "In posable income.
The break-even point is where the income pens to support. Whycomma just last week,.
yesterday's issue . . . ."
level has a net savings of zero. Below it the ...ohohl He's coming hack, gotta stop typing
The ASP would like to sincerely apologize to the University-Community for prin- marginal propensity aggregates a negative now, sec you some other article
savings. Above it, the contraposittve form
ting a factual, non-biased story in its March 29 issue. We will try to insure that such an utility is indicated. Graphically, the breakThe benefits from a public or social good,
even point is a continuously geometric line
error never reoccurs.
unlike those from a purely private good, are
formation which eulimnates in the 43 degree
seen to involve a plurality of welfare tranfer
reference line intersection of the consumption
payments to those social security recipients
function.
constituting the lower socio-economic class.
It is the interdependence of the productivities: land, labor, and capital, that is causal
• * >
of the problem of complex distribution
ABB De BUNKED
phenomenon. To produce aggregate 'Q' with
IDIOT IN CHEEK
Any discussion of the philosophical
B.B. GONE
factors 'X' and 'Y', you must find the intersec- ramifications of a post Galbraith economic
ASSISTANT TO THE IDIOT
GEOBOB LIBELOR
tion points of 'mpp', 'npp', 'npc', and 'gnp'. tcchno-structure would be incomplete without
NEWS FARRICATOR
that completes the marginal productivity exploring the fascinating world of peace time
CHOCOLATE ALBA, DAN CHEESE BUROER
ACCOMPLICES
theory of intricate distribution.
GLENN.VON HARRY ENOER
SHITTY EDITOR
inputs-output flows of items under protective
CECIL B. DB MILLER
As we hold a fixed input constant and tariffs, quotas, and Hey!, it's me again,
U n c i HEAD
laboriously increase a variable input, the Smlllyl The doorbell rang and while he's
• ••'
.1
~
Hum
AUKS IMOTOI
MT KEVIN
marginal physical product of that Godfor- answering il we can talk! How's the wife and
ASSOCIATE AUK
,. JUICY Bauca
saken variable input will have no choice but to kids'/ Thai's good. Yuknow, you can't buy
SAW SPOUT IDIOTOR
CAN HE ARDUINBT M l
dtleatcdly decline—at least after a given health. ..Oh Oh
ASM) so SEE VET SPORT IDIOIOR
Kcyncsian economist,
CUNTY KAHH
point!
APPETIZING MANGLE*
John Manard Keynes, postulated the balance
,
PHILYS DESDBMONA
ASSOCIATE APPETIZER
Nonetheless we can accept the complete fix- of international payments, which was his
WOODEN NICKLB Esq.
TAKE A NICKLE IDIQTOR
ity of land supply as its price-signal of efficient business and is certainly none of ours. The in. . Ao (OJ) MBYER, MIKE PIJSIIINHROOM
- factoring of commodity substitutions,
ASSOCIATE NICKLE TAKERS
herent inelasticity of land affords it the
NIOHTTOWN DAYMONT
PERVERTS IDIOTOR
The most serious deviation from the perfect criterion of pricing by pure competition. The
LBS
ZULUS
competition ideology comes from monopoly marginal revenue and its intersection at the
Top SECRETS IDIOTOR
WENDY BEGINDY BEOUINE
ethics, vis-a-vis the Parker Brothers and their bottom of the marginal cost curve substanGRAY FEET IDIOTOR
JUOGLB ALLBOOKS
capitalization 'CAPITALIZATION of the tiates our analysis. End of chapter, ..an'tell the
1»Mr MANULER
N BORN IMAGE, EASTMAN KODAK
working class ethic of monopoly.
wife and kiddys Smitly says hi.....
«j|MiTt«»Ma;«*
Errata
Captain Kangaroo
Shop For Values
The Nixon Administration announced yesterday [that the President would submit
his resignation before God on Wednesday. Nixon said, "He's the only one who understands me." The distraught monarch complained that even his daughter Julie didn't
understand him. Well that's just t o o bad you silly goose. You should be ashamed of
yourself for'deluding your trusting subjects for so long. It's no supper for you tonight
you naughty boy.
They're all against me, he said. You're right. It's all a conspiracy. We've been out to
get you since you graduated from Whittier College. We've had our men out checking,
up on you, We knowfwhere you've been, who you've seen, the whole story, You wanted
us to think that your agents were inserting needles intoMartha(Mitchell's'derriere.Not so
young man. No cover-up can save the President this time. We've got the goods. It
would be in the best interestes of this fair nation .to expose that menance for what he
is—a pervert. One small streak for man, one giant streak for women.
And while we're out there exposing our ruler,
let's all celebrate
America. Yes, America, where a bi-centenniel parade -symbolizes\all this country
stands for. Where songs and beer and marching bands come to mean—America. And
lions and tigers and bears, Oh, my! Let's stand up and cheer—for America. Where a
Canadian can produce a million selling single about how much Canadians love
America. AMERICA, and who disguised as Clark Kent lights a never ending battle for
truth, justice, and the American way.
I heBenzedrineAdministrationusriaving a severe case of identity crisis. Not only is
there a black and white sign announcing the Administration building as the Administration building, but now there is a black and gold sign, and two immense purple
and gold signs proclaiming that the Administration building is the Administration
building. Well, M?. President j.fio one has ever doubted that^actUn fact, if you asked
the average Albany State student where the Administration buttdirtg wasjchances are
pretty good, he, or even she, would tell you where to go. Why, we would bet that even
the Faculty, with of course a few hard case exceptions, would testify that they knew
that the Administration building was the Administration building.
Perhaps the only ones who don't know that the Administration building is the Administration building are the Administrators inside the Administration building.
Perhaps the sign is only there so that they can distinguish one building from another.
Wc all know now similar everything looks around here, maybe the signs are for the new
President (should he, like Godot, ever get here), so that he, maybe even she, wouldn't
suddenly take up offices in the biology building. We wouldn't want our President
becoming aware of the academics at this school, now would we.
Therefore, we would like to announce that we strongly disapprove of any plan to
construct a fifth quad on this campus laying on its side. Such an edifice would be a
waste of critical space and could be better used for larger facilities for the Administration building.
of you know what Descartes meant when he
called Socrates "the epitome of consecration"?
Saul: I can't tell you that, Karen, and I . . . I
cun't even tell you why . . . .
Good, eh? I have a number of art episodes
detailing adultery with the intent of receiving
tenure. Let me know when you want them.
To the Idiotor:
S. Kawnek
1 would like to relate a recent incident that
occurred last night on thia campus. I woke up,
as usual, in a kneeling position. As I stood up I
noticed a kangaroo watching me through the
window. Itflewaway, and I thought nothing
more of il. The following day, however, I
To the Idiotor:
received a note from the Student Health SerI would like to tell- you about a recent
vice which read: "Our resident psychiatrist is
religious experience. If any of the readers want
one of the best in the business; he will be glad
to. they can read it, too.
,%u
lo discuss kneeling in your sleep or any other
It started about 10:30 last night. The twelve
topic. Peel free to make an appointment."
of us were going streaking around Perimeter
How. I ask. did the Infirmary know I And
Koad while stoned, when suddently the truth To the Idiotor:
Why? that's till I want to know. I mean. myself kneeling every morning? I suspected
hit me. I flew back lo my dorm room and
wrote down this list of the New Rules for the why'.' Huh? Oh, yeah, I see. You're right. that kangaroo, but decided to investigate. I
Thanks a Int. It was bothering me, but now it's disguised myself as me and acted as if I had
New World,
received the note they sent me. The head
1. Since lake drugs arc destructive, yet all right.
prison cells arc more so, marijuana should he
Muharaj ,li sin inker told me to lay down and relax; I did
so. I continued with by exotic plan by telling
decriminalized for simple possession and a
the doctor my dreams: little did he know that I
class Vixl U2 felony lor sale (note the penal
was right there, telling him.
code is more complex than presently used).
2. Total conformity is necessary, but in an
I told him about my dtil'fodildo dream, my
ideal society, it should not he compulsory.
envious typcwrilcrdrcamnnd my juicy dream.
However, it is not long to the day of judgment,
He ate it all up. I waited until he was thinking
so it doesn't mutter loo much, anyway, as long
the hardesj^and lliMj^unffd^Asl.VujMtan
as there is no anti-social behavior, anti-social
being defined however is most expedient. hi the Idiotor:
I From th« Frog's Leg
Anyway, He knows.
1 realize that this is your once a year humor
J. The atheistic Communistic Ogre o1' the issue and effort has been made lo come up
lias! must bcevangclized by theycar 1976, or with uproarious material with which to
else we will never show them the light, and, guarantee a successful issue.
4. All Universities and olherplaces of higher
In this pursuit of ample material, please do
learning be levelled and in their places, be con- mil stoop low enough to use inferior humor, of
structed giant temples, with room to accom- questionable taste. A good satire issue does
modate everyone for the Big Sleep.
not have to he vulgar or lascivious.
Anyone interested in joining my Committee
And no menstruation jokes. Period.
to Keinslilulc the Neto .Values, please contact
/
et"x
Lord Kirchriiir
me at my office} orHhc 23rd floor of the twin
>.«.14
1
EDC Clears the Way
i| by Kami Pipiens
the EDC. she continued. "I imagine some off
I've been told that this is supposed to be a >§ the vital role of Environmental Leadership them are high when they Mile . .. ."
§
funny issue and everything, including the $g and guidance on the SUN YA campus, an evcrI he idea ol using recycled water originated!
letters, is supposed to be funny.
£< increasing problem in today's complicated life when the toilets on the third floor ol The cam-Ss
What I want to know is if this letter will be :•:• selling, rests squarely on the shoulders of the pus center hacked up into the patroon rminii
To the Idiotor:
This is to let you know that we have placed a printed even though it isn't funny and if it is •ijfew brave men andswomen who make up the drinking lountain. A pilot study was under-K
bomb somewhere on the campus. Unless our .printed.I'd like to find out.exactly how long g Environmental Destruction Commission taken with the help ol'PIE club (Perversion III 1
demands are met we will be forced to deton people will read a letter that is not even mildly 8 (EDC). The commission, referred to by higher I'.iiviiiiiimeiii) who manned the toilets l n |
humorous, It's a mazing how students will read g ranking administrators only as "The Commis- provide much needed flushing power, .larva
something even though it has nothing lo say gsion." took steps Inst Tuesday to make the Hones later reported. "Yup! We're recycling|
KsilNYA campus an ecological model for the lour water!"
and is really quite boring.
|
Susan Underbill iliation with the announcement of plans to
When asked about the danger of coii-g
Hrecycle waste water through the drinking laminated drinking water. Vice-President |
i | fountains of the campus. After 3 years of Low (Christmas Couth) Belch replied. "Let |
gheated debute and charges ol politicking and them 11 lie students] drink wine." (hiccup)
|
"hanky-panky," the Commission passed the
In other action, Ihe EDC announced that |
.... million 2 to .1 against with 27 abstentions and ihe University gas situation has improved. "Il g
i^one "yup" by an unidentified director of the was thill damn split pea soup!" muttered John jjj
To the Idiotor:
j§ Campus Center.
hartley. Vice-President lor Mismanagement. 8
I am writing you to voice my approval of the
•:•:' One of the major opponents of the bill was as he quickly excited the meeting for ihe ;|
proposed segregated parking on the various
jsjuhn K I'tickoli. .Ii., recently promoted czar liiurlh lime.
J
campus parking areas.
5§ ol the I'lanl Department (greenhouse). Said
In the Idiotor:
Ihe meeting, which look place in the Lee-1
I think that arranging it so that the black
rmgctlingaliulesickhearingaboutstreak-! I'Uckoff. "I'm just as much an environmencars have to park in the back of the lots is a ing even lime I turn around. II these nuts are M t:lllsl ' ls miyoneelsc on the campus, but we just lure Center men's room, reached a healed 8
great idea. Black cars aren't the same as so unsure over their masculinity so as .|: ^in't have shit coming out of all the drinking climax on Ihe unusual activities of member |
lc
Corporal Walk Clydesdale: The Corporal. :£
regular cars and shouldn't be parked with prance about the earth with their clothes off, :•:• fountains!"
litem, Besides, black cars smell funny. Thank lei them. llCiod had wanted man to streak, he % Insisting the movement were two eon- who seized a "lowny" Ircchousc overlooking :•<
the pond lor his temporary headquarters, is j:J
you.
wouldn't have made clothes.
:•:• sliputed students, Gary Slewin and I'aul a lleinpiing lo rid the lake ol "them pesky gold- |§
Betty Jo Hiololski
Clark Gable '•'• Orion, who boih threatened to boycott the fish." Sod Chessman, who attempted early 8
ii; water limntiiins and pull moons in the ud- ihis morning lo eonv inee the Corporal lo slops
||ministration building. -When questioned spearing lish from his perch ("li's notp
«about motives. Slewin replied. "Don't try lo nalural"), regretfully submitted the Corpora I'sg
•:;! iliiuhle-lnlk me. buddy. I'm a self-proelainied request for 10 loaves of bread. 4 cans olTtinafi
:•:• environmentalist!" Orion seemed tongue-tied lish. ) handgrcnades. .12 spears. S do/.eng
i§ during i he incident and refused to open his worms, and I Irishee. Slated the Corporal inK
j:j: mouth lor comment.
his request: "Carp is Hell!"
R
:;i; Subject now lo the approval ol University
Despite the efficient, dedicated working ul'H
To the Idiotor:
§|
President
Louis
(Bulch)
BenzedrineIhe
bill
Ihe EDC. an air of impatience prevails on thcK
I have a great idea lor an academic adult
I would come to $24,6.12,719.02. Stale funding campus. Quipped co-chairman John T. SnutiB
drama that I think would be smasho for your
•:•: will account lor $24.M2,719.00 with 2 « con- "Never has so little depended on MI many." Hc£j
ptipcr.
In the Idiotor:
:•!: trihuied from a special presidential bubble eniiiucrnied some of ll"' Inline EDC'projei is:)S
I he will ol the people must be felt by all of
General Studies
i|gum fund. An unidentified commission
use of yogurt in ilm campus tvflcctiut-'ra
Lance: So, you're the one who scrutinized my the people. The representatives of some of the
Hmember was heard to remark, "Yup, he's fountain (Will make M'.SYA Ihe cullui.ua
thesis! II only I hud left when your wife started people must show most of the people what is
,•:•:always got to gel his two cents in!"
center of the world!)
i
ffi
wanted by all of the peopleand not by some of
talking about Jung . . , .
Although not an official member of the
use of recycled toilet paper in Ihe ,id-S
Haul; It's w „| C r umjer ,„,, bridge, chap. My Ihe people. Some of the people must
EDC, Janet Hooker of the Student Health In. ministration building (we all should turn iheg
remember all of the people und not most of the
uiily concern is about . . . the allegory!
|i
people. And that's why I'm running for Cen- family voiced her opposition by requiring other cheek,)
P l ' f l Does Peggy know?
'winning signs on all fountains lo read,
increased use of organic foods in diningl
tral Council.
**•* Who's Peggy?
DRINKING RECYCLED areas (you can beat our prices, but you ean'tg
Fred Fluinm
*'«r«i: Excuse me professors, but do either
ice to
MMWWMjMaMMMMjffi.
iitfeiS
Bombed Out
Car 54
Where Are You
Cease A Thesist
MARCH 45, 1974
lo the Idiotor:
I Couldn't Give
A Fig Dept.
f
Remember
The Alamo
wmmmrnp-iaMBiM
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
EDITORIAL PAGE THE FIRST
UNREAL ESTATE
tmmmjgj
• • • • mwemmmmmmmmm
IF YOU WANT
SOMETHING,
For sole: Unused runway for commercial
lliahh. Call R. Mumoy. Track Coach! SUNYA
7-4584
Free Mope
Well you can take you (censored) finger and
(censored) in your (censored). I don't wont
hill color picture* of ASP mutic crilk iftd DJ Bob
MWingtrr w mi* available io the general public!
Wortini with minimal iniclliftncc and an IQctiual to
1(4 bin aajc, Rfedirfgcr Mirpriaed many who figured the
nitwit ciiuhln'i make It pait kindergarten yet here he »,
wilhin our very confittn. Pix of the noodnik, luituble
for lining wet *hoca or staining mnrihooch. can be had
at the amazing pried oi one Tor 23 cents, three for 30
Milk, nine for"$1.00. HMurSlOOiirHIfor$4.00. Anil,
if you order now. we'll wnd you an additional photo of
Ihikdnpc uhsithuvtr Jtcel Wc must he mud to otter such
a gitcuvttiyl Hurry, this oiler end* tomorrow and we
may even run nut hvlore then) Be the Tint on your
Modi
anything to do with that (censored).
LET US GET IT
TOR YOU!
Dear Hank,
B1T8 AND PIECES
GOULASH FOR $20
Wanted: a home where buffalo ream and
ikies arenotdoudyoHday.
CaHNattie
Bumpo. 7-3125 ,
. . -'.
' ,, ,
Attention 441 Hudson: your
, ...
Wanted: Person for one room, no windows,
no utilities, no bathroom, three walls, and
chimney h
For sale: Blank eight-track recording tape.
Inquire R.M.Nixon, Box 1776, Washington
D.C. 20008
no door. Rent $175 week. Call H. Hughes
Deranged Musicians
End the gas shortage at SUNYA. Subscribe
to FSA contract meal plans.
I want to buy ancient torture equipment for
my own enjoyment. Please write C. Manson,
Wanted: one Exorcist, please rush, situation
. .
.
,
is becoming desperate.
I didn't do it. I was framed. They modem*
look guilty, but I'm innocent, I swear. Please
believe
care of Desert In Motel. Las Vegas Nevada
47502
Good luck, this year. I'll be watching.
me, I
wouldn't
lie to
you.
Ahhhhhh
RESULTS
GUARANTEED!!!
Help me learn to speak English gooder. CaH
Pas maintenant.
Charles de Gaulle
William F. Buckley (212) 459-6250
Cal. State Prison at Chino.
where about thirty crazed gents were
K U D O News
JACKASS
FLATS,
Riders needed for year long position.Write
Ncv.—Last
casting dice in the corner of the bar.
NASA, care of Saturn Probe, Amarillo Texas, 62510
Sunday night, over three hundred
Visible were several players, each
dusty, dirty, thirsty, starving area
claiming thut one or another
musicians
Central
someone's relations was an illegal
I wish to sell out my share of profitible ham-
Avenue to the Bali-Hi Bar for the an-
alien or something of that sort. Still,
burger chain. Call Ronald the Clown at 7-
nual Musician's Union H69 awards
some others were actually betting the
2153.
ceremony and free lunch.
clothing off their backs, piece by
streaked down
"Theevent is in its39th year,"said
Linguini Mussolini, spokesman for
the union and master of ceremonies
for the evening, "and is enjoying its
biggest year ever. Unfortunately, we
were hoping for a smaller draw than
this.
You
see,
most
of
piece. When asked what were they
snotty
free drink in their lives and from
some of the activity in the room
already you can sec exactly what 1
mean."
Musicians Casting Dice in Corner
Ihe
room,
crammed
with
reply
cried
•ft'
conga line again was formed.
Remember
Ihe Back
Linguini
the belly dancer for the boys in the
back* room! We could nevcrdo that
, again.. Some cowpokcs (groupies)
entertainment This Year Too!
This
year's
entertainment
was
provided by Vix Spiderhiek ami his
I'lve
h'hwlttg
Spickeis,
which
to
Rock.
Ihe first chick they saw, with that
from the Juke Uox representing the
and
glasses,
Also
varied
selections
they
(.W) thirty-nine years of the function
pummeled her 'til she passed out.
was featured as a supplement to the
.Icsus!"
Sporadic fights were breakingout all
"Kortunalcly wc didn't gel into
over the place, and accordian great,
any trouble with that incident 'cause
ping competition
(,'ranola was shouting from
the sheriff came and arrested the
awards were landed out to a very
the top of his table "I can play better
chick for indecent exposure. When
viscious reaction.
than you, mother!" Several select
they came, they found her over there
rebutllcs were returned to Grick but
in that san;e corner. You know, that
the real hot hpot was in the rear
Ivan's a devil. Hch, heh!"
EDUCATIONAL SERIES!
hollowing the Roping and Romin the bar, the
Help me find my sheep, they've been lost for
ten days.Call Bo-Peep at 7-7138.
Saturday at
Drs. lzzard,Ghiradella,or Flynn or report to
ride a horse.
9am. Don't get there by bus-
BIO 242 between 3-5 pm Mon-Fri.
Wanted: Conceited undergrads to live on
State Quad.
The Rabbit died.
Mary Jo K.
Contact Quad Board
Mere it is at IUM! ,ltut wltiit you've been waiting l»rl
Allot numilit ill mk'iiMU' kCiirvliitig, our ASP Mtitl
iiiuiiouiiiftiiui tin,iii> luiiiui Miiueouevi'tlnuuCliililcim
dale- 11"'> llluliKIMW n di:lic;ii.'\ is a prime iiiy toil torn <<l
UluMeV liuii au'iitl. tun to liiid kimtconu actually
valiiiu ouo in ilk puie Imm is cspceuilly mre. Out .ikri
hliutlei hnj_! uiuuhl AM*' uilumnisl Huh Kiwi inner putting hit typewriter midc and enjoying thi» tatty treat
< Hmmmmm*mmmmmm>Mmmmxm<imt. HmtMm-xm mm >
One dollar horsey rides at "Grandpa's
write intelligent editorials. Contact ASP.
Farm." 10';f.discounts lor SUNYA students.
Rock;
Please call Roge?<^rfHMfe-325-35d5 (tott
Female--Donny
free).
Dear World,l'm Dead.
Paul McCartney
Razors lidgc.
Man of the Year: Ricky
String Artist of the Year: Hemic
(Bernardo) I'luckctt,
Percussionist of the Year: Lste-
f:orL>ale: One university. Call Chancellor
Boyor anytime,
JI
Help wonted: undeigrads to service Biology
Must sell 3 French hens, some calling birds
and a turtle dove. Partridge and a pear
Wanted: Seven young females or males for
tion and the brain. Coll Dr. Frank N. Stein.
tree also. All at reasonable prices, left over
clandestine relationships. Call Bruno 7-0000
457-2053.
from bad X-mas party. Call 5-4321
Need seven room apartment far off busline.
There's no place like home. There's no place
Riders needed for Central Council bills; they
Willing to pay top dollar if satisfactory. Call
like home. There's no place like home.
are becoming too straight forward in
Dorothy.
—
CRASSIFEBD ADS
DEPARTMENT
recent weeks.
There will b e free introductory lec-
This week's meeting of the Streakers
tures on how to slop e a t i n g the p a i -
C l u b has b e e n cancelled due to the
M09DAKC£S
nless, permanent w a y , Tuesday a n d
ntlei liiiiiciiilitoASI'ollico, Asiiiu-duaition;il«rvkt
in iiio uitlu'cti), iho AM1 IN now making .miilultb
uipio ol tins iinii|iio |iliiiiiii!iaph ill a (ialikan dale
mill Huh in |lie picture .is null. Suitable lurlraming,
lliosoiiioii niil fWplJlt ;il one I'm 25cciil-..llnoo lurlll1) coins, o ti»l StvtMI. IK liH «.((«, or Ml lor M.UU.
l i m n mil supply is limited.
pneumonia epidemic.
Wednesday, a t 8 p.m. a t the SUNYA
***
Commisary.
*«#
y^llt
3 v&
S U N Y A W e i g h t W a t c h e r will sponsor a dance ("Burn those Calories") Frid a y night in the Indian Q u a d skinny
room. There will b e 2 kegs of Tab a n d
incompletes required.
SHARPSftMATS
, N.Y.
Want advice on your major? Come
hear a p a n e l discussion called W h a t
on top of t h e carillon.
•* *
in obtaining a
should
write:
National
Science
course
"Methods
•* *
of
0 ) u 7 p6 038 350 G8729V
97i0 28oy7 JU e78 SI i
only in Philosophy,
<*
1303 tl 350
m iti27 <a%ffVbunl8ll5-l n81el881ui
2 3 2
ty a r e invited to a meeting of the Pre-
Want some tun? SUNVA's Board of
sonnel. Come Saturday night, 10 p . m .
P a w Society in C C 5 9 1 this M o n d a y .
Trustees have a pamphlet available
»**
called Recreation at the Stale Univer-
I n t e r n a t i o n a l Toke T a k i n g . From 6
sity ol New York at Albany. Included
to 8:30 on Thurs. in G y m . G r e a t b r e a k
are articles on "Intelligent Dating" and
from studying.
"Stupid Dating."
the Ballroom. Next week's meeting will
be in Indian's Skin Room.
Society, Box 1210, Washington D. C.
The Y u m y u m C l u b will meet in the
• a n d rub our tummies.
CHEAP! 111-1111.
f
fall —
has authentic rising (& reclining ) chairs.
• Titty Spew • CREW CUTS- only one bit
SO STOP IN N0Wour cuts will make
your hairs stand
up on end!
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
.G-'IKl U j M.'( J O
..ior all your
greenery needs...
^*
1
We specialize in grasses
The SUNYA Barber Shoe
MARCH 1, 1927
OCTOBER 6, 1929
Earth
Suicide" yields credit towards a major
try-outs for new m a d a m e a n d per-
HAD A HARD DAY? ...MVE VOURSElf A INT
NOTE:
1. Limit- Vt ticket per person in line
2. Tickets will bear Inta Ripov's name and will NOT be
transferable.
3. Make checks payable to Ima B, Ripov, attn: Class of 7 5
4. Should demand be great, one car will be rented
poned their next meeting until they can
decide when to have it.
Psychiatric
T y p i n g . Inexperienced, sloppy, but
Class off'75: $279.35 one way
All others: $1.99 round trip
D e p a r t m e n t s of Biology, C h e m i s t r y ,
main fountain next week. W e will e a t
University College announces a new
A full 3 hours of sun and fun in sunny
and funny Rome!
The Procrastinator's C l u b has post-
nl867SSK<@7 tl%32 )B03a 5)s«f b ;
S U N Y A ' s Sex Society will hold its
e on-the m e a l p l a n .
the
the
Students yet to have reached puber-
**»
booklet called Vacations in A l b a n y
from 8 a . m . to 6 p.m. to accommocate
for
in
Buxom's Bar a n d Brothel will hold
monthly fun night tomorrow morning in
Anyone interested
The Health Center will now be open
program
enrolled
or Physics a r e reminded that the new
to CT-2. Experience p r e f e r r e d .
B0R6D FOJKS
Ihe Hall A m I Doing H e r e this evening
peo
Students
melba toast.
extracurricular. At least 3 courses of
AWFULLY STUPID MESS
DO YOU WANT SOME FENCED?
Exit 8 on Tliruway. Wear shoes.
experiments. Next months topics are dissec-
Bruno 7-0000
Buses will leave the circle May 11 at
4:00 am. Arrive Rome on May 16, sunset.
Prices:
Wm DO YOU WANT A PROFESSOR KNOCKED OFF?
Desperately Wanted: Interested people to
Lawrence at 7-1032. Thank you.
Group of the year: S I P and the
Horn
M DO YOU WANT TO TELL
SOMEONE WHERE TO GO?
Professional massages given Please call
the
during finals week,
May 11 to 18
8:30 and 1:15 I
A PANEL DISCUSSION WILL
FOLLOW EACH MOVIE
of
awards
ROME
...
April 8
LC 32
i
7:45 and 9:22
arc
five
Class off '75 is sponsoring a trip to...
I
THE DRIVEL
IN MISS JONES
(5)
Rock band wanted to^revolutionize society.
A Dale With Bob
i
ARTSPAGE THE FIRST
ple that share you interests? SUNY Bestiality
For sale: Answers to BIO 101 hourlies . Call
lu!
PINK FLAMENCO |
April 7
LC32
below
the
Organ.
Live Entertainment.
fSOUR'EAST
CINW^^smteT^
1
Ae o c C | A L
j
of
Solo Aflisc of the Year: Male—
wanted to get into the room! Gosh!
vocals.
listings
categories:
Donny
live with all sorts of bee-like activity.
(irick
The
winners
features Vix on his wondcrlul fulsct-
hair
i1**
Interested in forming club with special peo-
Room
continues,
"Kcmcmber last year'.' When wc had
frightful
musicians, many still undressed, was
unanimous
"Streak, streak, streak!!!" And the
Pres. Benezet: Deliver the money Io Fulton
Hall in a plain brown wrapper. State Quad
Board
DOUBLE
JEOPARDY
Liberation Front meets at Bronx Zoo this
ODDS AND ENDS
going to do without their clothes, a
these
musicians have never turned down a
of
HODGEPODGE
I I . - I J U 'IVi
-largest supplier in the country
COME IN FOR A SAMPLE
Suite 2201, Eastman
Admission:
$5.00 with tax
$10.00 without
ARTS PAGE THE SECOND
vm
MI awAg 'dmA.
mmmmmmsmt
MmM
Mm^^M
' A fieidkovie, the dream of to
many people associated with the
Albany State campus Isfinallya
reality. 8y an overwhelming
margin, the administration voted .
3to2(24abttentions)toapprove
plans foTthe epnatruction ol a •••
permanent superstructure, with
completion tentatively scheduled
for November, 2141
" -' ; ,
Tlje fieldhouse will be cdft*;^.
veniently located 35 miles
southeast of Syracuse, easily,
accessible by county road 109 or'
Pot Hole Road, which ever is not)
condemned as being Unsafe for
Go AheadFor FieldHouse
times, such
chas when a construetion worker (now deceased)
whistled while crossing. George
Samuels, foreman of the project,
admitted that the , bridge's
strength might be questionable,
but shrugged . it off," saying,
"We'll, cross that bridge when we
come to it."
',__:•
In order to accomodate the expected | crowds, seating capacity
is 23, with room for 3,476
standees. In accordance with
voluntary energy regulations, a
central heating system has been
designed, to be set at a constant
temperature of 68° (Kelvin). In
addition, other energy-saving
measures will be attempted,-including no lights,' rest rooms, 'or
public-address equipment..
"However," says Jerry
#
Methas, building superintendant, "we will of course have a
Since these major thoroughfares were both
closed a. total of 357 days but
year, alternate methods of
reaching the building may have
to be designed, the most feasible
bring the extension of perimeter
road some 150 miles.
Another problem with
transportation which may arise
is -the <fact that a rather small
bridge must be crossed before
reaching the proposed sight.
Laughingly referred to as "Death
Bridge" by local townspeople.it.
has the uncanny habit of collapsing at the most inopportune
The Ballad of Horace Clark
by Nathan Boot
•„..-'
It looked extremelydismalforlthe Yankee fans that day
The score was 9-4 with but 3 innings left to play
And then when Roy White popped it up with 3 runners on base
Babe Ruth turned over in his grave and cursed out this disgrace.
"Twas the last day of the season Yanks and O's tied for first place,
The Yanks had come from far behind to... climb back in the race
They'd gone with vet Pat Dobson who'd won 20 games that year
But yielded 6 runs earjy whether from overwork or fear.
Up in the boothi wa7ftj«serMching up the play By play, :ie"mU
Arid old Bill WhflgWjjj'bfmhid nothing of intelligence to say;
Rizzuto made excuses.^and used the famous line: '
That you never know in Fenway till 'the last 3 in the ninth.
At '.third base was Graig Nettles having dropped 3 straight ground
balls
•
With Gene Michael to his left which was no saving face at all;
At first_ base was Mike Hegan but everyone'could see
They suffered from the Golden Glove Hopeless, Horace Clark's
But Horace wasn't blowing games; he'd found a rare good streak.
He had not blown a dqubleplay for this, the tenth straight week •
And with him in the line up; the fans no longer lun*i and frowned
But instead they yelled at old Roy White— who's throws were on the
ground.
• Then early in the eighth inning a nighty cheer arose
It echoed to the bleachers and boomed in between the poles.
The Yanks had brought in 6 big runs to knot and tie the score
And now they led by one an a single by Horace, the man they now.
adored.
•
'
There waseasefin Horace's manner as he went out to second for inning number nine
There Was grace in Horace's motion when he speared a hard lirfc'
drive
And then when Coggins failed to bat and Blair received a walk
The fans stood on their seats and'screamed their hatred in their
squalks.
Jeb mteririew Films. Sharpen your
interviewing tkilts. AH intereited'shovild
•ign up for a viewing at the Placement
Service Rm. 133, Administration Bldg.
naTionlTanlhem
to play on
cassette
(battery-operated)
before each sports event."..
'
In terms of cost, the fieldhouse
is relatively inexpensive as far as
' these types of structures are concerned. Therefore, financial advisors fed that funding will be
no problem, with mortey
supplied by a small hike of tuition fees of approximately $ 12,650 per person.
i However, Harold Mewson,
chief organizer of the project,
cautions that all may not go as
well as forecast.
.
"In all honesty we must point
out that although all the plans
are basically sound, a couple of
items might be a bit perturbing,
such as the fact that there are no
parking facilities to speak of. But
in all reality we expect everything
to go over smoothly and el-
Anyone interfiled in working on
Student Evaluations of Toadwrs and
Courses contact Dave 7-3238 '
Wrestlers Pin
O'Bradovich has decided to
The Allbunny State wrestling Honda 360, . y '
There was a three fall match donate the last seven men he
team was sensational in the
capital district tournament this between the heavyweights from pinned to recarpet Stcinmetz
Albany and "Siena last night. Hall on State Quad. That's hust
past weekend."'
t
q
.''"Captain ,' ","ut\ "Steve Hovycyer, [i'he wrestlers only fell his'Wayof'saymg that he is sorry
ci'L' e s t , ~"i£H '-iiniO IO ..r.:q ,(<.._ twice, so it was called a draw.
for eating the podium last TuesShoulderharness won his - 846 lb. heavyweight Blobs day.
seventh straight match by submission, after using his famous
groin-grasp. Steve claims to have
developed the hold out of
necessity. He said yesterday, "I
used to be a shower attendant at
a gym forheavyWeight-lifters!".
(Incidently, Steve's last 4 victims, by Gary'PieM
have formed a singing group,
' Major League Baseball:
called the sopranos). . .
Yankees -Yesterday, Horace Clarke was traded for a new clubhouse water
1
Another.victor Was freshman . cooler Mrs. Fritz Peterson revealed today that she had originally hoped
Bear Briant, who uses a tremento witch with Mm Bobby Murcer.figuringthat a .300average on thefieldis
dous bear-hug to crush his opgood for at least the same in the bedroom....
ponents into submission. Bear
Mets-Tug
McGraw, before a grand jury hearing, today admitted that there
developed this hold as a
were times last year when he didn't "believe" .. . The Mets finally signed
youngster when his mother used
their number one number one draft pick, blind centerfielder " Deadeye" Dirt
to breastfeedlhim while riding a
field: The team has requested the league to use a black ball at night to Keep
the rest of the players on the same terms as Deadeye
Sport Snorts
Led by Frank Patroni's third
period goal with 6:54 left to play, the
Great Danes hockey squad struggled
to a significant Iruimph over
Williams College by the score of 4-2
in a contest marred by a free-for-all
in the second period. The fighting,
which involved both benches,
resulted in two game misconducts
being issued to, each team, an unfortunate occurrence but a highly entertaining one lor the sparse but exuberant crowd who viewed the contest in the field house by the lake,
behind Indian Quad. The victory,
which continued' the Danes unficateaVstrcuk at three and which
gave them an overall record of 4-2-1,
was of particular importance
because it came over a vastly more
experienced Williams team.
.- • *'•
ItcienHy. similar to the speedy
and effortless manner in which
•WSUA radio has become FM."
A question has arisen as to the
necessity of constructing a 152
foot high statue of Edward
Durrell Stone, chief designer of
the fieldhouse, at an estimated
cost of S3.000.000. An alternative to the statue of Stone,
which seems to , have growing
support, is the construction of an
equally-large statue of Betty
George and her dog Moo.
Sources close to the. project
report that a compromise may be
reaches shortly, resulting in a
statue of Stone holding Moo being constructed.
Betty George could not reached, lor comment, but Moo told
the ASP in an exclusive interview (through an interpreter)
that he was "flabbergasted."
majors &; miners
Anybody interested in participating in
the NYS MOCK S I N A T I April 17-21
please contact: Helen 482-7467 or
Gone 7-7t4§.
**•
The Political Science Association is
having a meeting to discuss courses
with the professors. It will be Tuesday
April 2 at 7:30 in the C.C. Assembly
Hall. Anyone taking a political science
course is welcome.
-* * »
S.N.O. is sponsoring a slide presentation on Autistic Children by Jean
Wood of the Speech Pathology and
Audiology Department at 7:30 p.m. in
B.A. 129 on April 3.
*# *
Come to the Stammtitch! German
Club sponsors a social hour every
Wednesday at 3:00 in the basement
lounge between the physics and
chemistry buildings. Come and relax
with good food and German conversation.
#*»
by Gary Fields
Hockey
the Stat* t M v m h y of Now York h
I t H M M
located may uw mow librorier to
borrow material* under the SUNT
Open Acceet Policy. Person currently
hnwij Dwicmfl every Thursday
enrolled in institutions in the State University are eligible borrowerslibrary night at 8:30 p.m. in ma third floor
materials may bo returned via any dance studio of Hie gym. learn new
dances. AD are welcome.
SUNV library to the lending library.
Commissioner Bowie Kuhn announced an Important rule change today.
On a slow grounder in front of die mound, the batter may yell "cheap" if he
chooses not to run it out. The new rule is expected to improve batting
averages and prevent back injuries to stooping pitchers.
On the local baseball scene, we have some tragic news. Queens punchball
champion "Fingers" Fisherman was thrown off the Junior High School 172
punchball team after brass knuckles were found in his locker yesterday
I'ru-toolhill:
Washington-Duane Thomas broke a personal record today in speaking
three consecutive sentences to a sports writer....
Miami- Larry Csonka received the most enthusiastic player award today.
His only comment was "Who the- cares?"..,,-' ' '.'
There* were two more outs to go that year the man up at bat—Boog
Buffalo- The Bills today traded star halfback.O.J. Simpson to the N.F.C.
Powell
for the Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, and Minnesota Vikings...
He hit an easy fly to right But Blombcrg dropped the ball
. The Ford Corporation has, once again, got a better idea. Inorder to keep
So when the dust had settled it was plain enough to
up with the times, they have announced that next year's football halftimc
That Paul Blair was on 3rd base 90 feet from victory,
contest shall be changed to the Punt, Pass, Kick, and Streak competition
• (any girls, ages 17-21, wishing to enter the fourth category may call for an
The next man up was Brooksie in his 37th year
appiontment at 7-4511. Early evening, please.)....
He was the wiley veteran the man Sparky Lyle feared
Basketball:
A 2-2 pitch from Sparky— and a ground ball nit' to'.Gene
Boston-Celtic chuckcr-slar Hondo Havlichuck was recently heard to say
A lock for two outs here, with thcYajiks'ilew DP machine
during a halftimc rest, "No, I don't expect those assinine underhand shots
to go in either!"
So Michael scooped it in his glove and flipped to Horace Clarke
Next game is away at Onconta in a Nets- Larry Kcnon admitted his personal feelings about coach Kevin
SUNYAC conference match which
Loughcry today. "I think heVkinda cute" said the rookie sensation....
' who promptly stepped on second base as if it was a lark
promises to he quite a meeting,
Knicks- Bill. Bradley silenced hisdgubtirs today as he actually dunked a
' He quickly spun and threw to first as all the fans 'iwent wild
Onconta being the number one
basketball. (Ruraorfias it ihaf Bradley did thedunking in a nerf-basketball
S.urely, finally, the gods of ball on the Yankees, again, smiled.
team, This should offer some indica- game onVseven foot basket.) Coach Red Holzman revealed today that a
tion of how far Albany has come in love affair between John Gianclli and trainer Danny Whelan is threatening
Oh somewhere cut in center field the memories still remain...
. just two years of varsity competition to break up the team...
tyf- Joltin Joe and Mickey out in their old^domains,
in hockey, .
N.C. Stale- It's now been three days since David Thompson's last leap unAna eoatswhere Lazzcri lies in peace
der the hoop, and he hasn't come down yet. Teammate Tom Burleson says
!Atkf Richardson now screams.
• • -•
that Thompson is expected totandtc^netiagniextweekend
£a|s^({njujess Horace's relay sailed into the mezzanine. .
Bio Majors! Attend Bio Club's PrePreRegistration Clinic with Dr.
Mauser. All the latest info, latest
teacher evaluations available. Also Dr.
Hauser's Biogeographical View of
Northern Scandanayipf;^Ved., 8,p.m,
in Bio 248.
' '
OOiBOMBOM
miemlj.
clubs & .meetings
The Bahai Club wiJI hold fireside
discussions on the Bahai Faith every
Wednesday in C.C. 333 at 8:00 p.m.
These meetings are open to all interested members of the community.
For further information please call
Michael at 465-8053 or Sandy at 4361409.
There will be a short meeting of Psi
Chi—Psychology Honorary on April 2
at 8:15 in S.S. 256 to distribute
membership certificates and accept
applications for new members.
** *
To all students interested in student
government (especially those'not run-
will be a meeting
of the Un.r«d Studtntt Front on
W
day April 2 at, 7:00 p.m. in Lecture
Center 2. The agenda will include election of a vice-chairperson and formation of a committee. For further information contact Greg Lessne, 457-4026.
•#•
Geography Club will hold elections
for next year's officers this Tuesday at
8:00 p.m. in S.S. 144. Other business to
be discussed also. All interested people
ore welcome.
•*•
There will be a very important
meeting of The Luso-Braiillan Club
on Tuesday April 2 at 8:00 in the
Fireside lounge. Plans for party and
other important business will be discussed. Be there! Everyone welcome.
, A M I A N e w Spring Tennis
Tournament—singles and 'doubles,
coed ladder tournament. Entries due
Fri. April 5 in C.C. 356.
The C M
300-Recreational
leadership course is listed as a 1 credit
course in the 1974 schedule of classes.
This is In error. CPE 300 is a 3 credit
kourse.
...
C o m m u n i t y Service Students:
Evaluation sessions are going on now.
Make sure you attend one between
now and April 4th if you want to pass
rhe course.
Anyone interested in joining the
SUNYA Women's Swim Team is invited to Developmental Technique
Applications for April 20 DAT and
Clinics every Monday and Wednesday
at 4:30. Any questions call Ms. Hoar 7- May 4 MCAT are available in Universit y College. Declines for application:
4538 or Jayne 7-7759.
DAT—March 25, MCAT—April 12.
...
...
interested in living at Saylet International House next fall? If so, please
attend an interest meetina:
Wednesday, April 3rd, 4 p.m.—CC
, p atroon Rm. Lounge. Applications and
Residence Materials will be distributed.
Questions—Call 472-7410.
Weekend Masses: Sat, 4:30 and
6:30 p.m., Sun., 10 a.m., 12:30 and
5:30 p.m. at Chapel House.' The 5:30
Mass of Sun. Apr. 21 will be cancelled.
^ C o m m u n i t y Service Registration
will take place Tuesday, April 16
through Friday, April 19 from 9 a.m. to
4 p.m. between LC 3 and LC 4. All , i
students are eligible to take the course.
Women's Recreation Association
Softball Intramurals for Women.
There will be a meeting for team captains or representatives, Tuesday April
2, at 6:30 p.m. in Rm. 245, PEC.
Problems with the University
Library can be submitted in box in lobby or brought to Nora an Weds, from 24 in Campus Center 308.
Metaphorical Structure in Petrarca's Canzone "Standomi Solo" by
Fredi Chiappelli, Director, Medieval
and Renaissance Studies, University of
California, Los Angeles, Wednesday,
April 3, HU 354, 7:30 p.m.
Anyone who has a question or wants
action from the University Senate
please contact Mitch Kassoff—
Senator from Dutch Quad at Box 66.
Thank you.
Students who will be spending the
days during the April Intersession in an
area where a college or university of
...
Several positions are currently
available with the Residence Office
for the 1974 Summer Session. Undergraduate and Graduate Resident
Assistant positions receive a single
room waiver and mail clerk and student assistant positions receive a double room waiver. Application forms are
available in the Residence Office,
Fulton Hall 105 and must be returned
to that office no later than April 17,
1974.
The University library has recently
ristablished a collection of paperbuund
and hardbound books designated the
Put and Take Collection. Materials in
this collection have been acquired as
gifts. The Put and Take Collection is
housed on the south wall in the outer
lobby.
II
VOLUNTEERS
i
NEEDEDFOR
i ALUMNI PHONOTHON
i
Follett SUNY
Your first
tampon
should
be a
Kotex
tampon.
The Campus Center Snackbar will
»» open at 12 noon on Sundays to accommodate students without meal contracts.
Staying in Albany for Passover? If
you want to celebrate the seders with a
family, call Steve Shaw at the Jewish
Community Council, 489-7466during
the day, at Chapel House, 6:30-7:30
p.m., 489-8573, or during the evenings
at 462-3905.
Weekday Masses: Mon. and Fri.,
11:10; Communion Service at 12:10
Tues., Wed., and Thurs., 11:10 and
12:10. All in Campus Center.
Got a gripe? Bring it to Grievance
Committee Office. Hours in CC 308
are Mon. 3-4, Tues. 10-11, 3:30-4:30,
Wed. 10-11, 2-4, Thurs. 3:30-4:30, Fri.
1-3. Come in or fill it out and drop it in
the gripe box in the lobby of the Campus Center (across from info desk).
NOTICE
The purpose of the Alumni P H O N O T H O N is to call
up for
pledges to help build the Alumni Conference Center.
Bookstore
wasn't,
here's a
second
chance.
For a trial size package of Kotex1
tampons (5 tampons), a pretty purse
container, and a very explanatory
book entitled "Toll II Like II is",
mail mis order form with 25* In coin
to cover mailing and handling to:
~i
Kotex tampons
Box 551 CM
DATES:
APRIL 24,25, 28,29, and
30.
will be CLOSED during
Spring Recess due to
inventory.
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
...
official, potice
*
International Folk Dancing from 68:30 p.m. Thursdays—3rd-floor of the
gym. Came any time, a great study
break. Beginners welcome.
...
interested folk
April 6 - 14 Closed
April 15
Resume Regular
Hours
Need a friend? A friendly ear? A
place to rap? Call the 4300 Middle
farlh Switchboard with any problem.
II we can't help, we'll refer you to
someone who can. Give a call anytime.
You are needed to help protect the
environment. Call the Environmental
Protection lobby at 462-5526 and
leave message with name, address
and phone number.
Announcing the formation of People
for Socialism a student-faculty grr>up
to discuss and educate ourselves and
other students about socialism and how
it aftects you and your university environment. We will be holding a
meeting Tues. 4(2 at 8:00 p.m. in the
2nd floor lounge (249) at Draper on the
Downtown Campus.
MS
looking for a good idea for Independent Study In either Education or
Psychology? Help Student Evaluation
of Teachers and Courses coimtfe
data. All you need is a sponsor. Contact Dave, 457-5238 or Bill, 438-4034.
I
For those who help:
1. Free dinner
2. Gift
3. Free phone call
|
INTERESTED?
Neenah, Wisconsin 54956
Namo_
AddressCity
.ZipAllow A weeks lor delivery.
Oiler expires December 31,1074
Limit one por customer.
I For further info: Call Alumni Office 457-4631, durI ing the day or Gary Sussman, '457-4307, at night.
I WE NEED TO KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
1m>$mmtmm.m»mm.mKHmK$mmmimmmmmmmmmm
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
PAGE ELEVEN
edito rkti/coftwmni
ate
"He's (President Nixon) been making a poor defense for himself- making it
hard for people who want to, to believe in him.. I'm not so sure my father disagrees with me."
•John
Ford,
I'mlcleney.
ton of the'Viee
President
commenting
on the state
of the
'.'
[Evaluations: Self Service Only
Chinese Puzzle
t o w a r d s the end o f every semester, this University engages in what theoretically is an
intensive, and extensive series of self-evaluation exercises. This usually entails forms
work to present more diversified and creative,
activities and social functions. Many of the
more successful parties have originated from
the quads, which points to the fact that this is
what; the students want. For this reason: I
believe quad boards must be encouraged and
financially supported in the future; much
more so than in the past!
Quad curds, as it helps achieve this end,
should be supported and encouraged.
and questionnaires concerning course evaluation, teacher recommendations, and conseems when the students m a k e a judgement on their academic lives, there is no fanfare,
merely critical dissection.
Unfortunately, the faculty cannot claim such a successful track record in the field of
sell-evaluation. The field is.rclatiycfy new, and therefore, possibly not as developed as
it is in the case o f students, right now, faculty across the State University system, and
especially the faculty here at Albany, are attempting to determine to the satisfaction of
S U N V Chancellor Ernest Boycr, who the best teacher at this institution is. Note that
they arc detcrming t o the satisfaction o f the Central Administration, not to their own.
There are but a handful o f faculty here that are vocally distressed over the system esThe award brings
with it not only the ego-satisfying benefit o f knowing that you arc the best in your field,
but there is in addition, j o b security, and promotional advantages to being declared the
outstanding teacher.
'
Perhaps because of the intense pressure placed on all the faculty to put out their best,
the political rivalries and petty clashes that make up the every day world of higher
academics become highly amplified. T h e problem here is that the same rivalries that
serve only to aggravate and irritate intralaculty relations during the rest o f the year, is
now subverting the entire process of outstanding teacher evaluation. Teachers, have
complained that jealous and politically conniving department heads are consciously
withholding information vital to the professors' chances of achieving his goal. If in fact
there are such immature department chairmen, deans, etc., it does no credit to thai
department, school or Division to engage in such petty behavior.
f a k i n g home your bat and ball because you don't like the players went out of style in
grade school.
Return of the Natives
Secret Agent
T h e decade of the 60's has become associated with what people like to euphemise as
"student activism", "arijaH-p(irpo'Se':teriln that beliedthe'deep'feltcb'mniittment
that
,
students held towards the improvcmehTo'f the situation bbth'irt tHe l irp*rtit , u'liir J Univer-
' John Wands Sacca
sities a n d in tneWtfon'as a' whole! A d ministrations, on both levels, became wary o f stuTo
• '.ill .
dent protest, primarily because great strides in r e f o r m resulted f r o m them.
/F
Those same administrations have been enjoying an uneasy peace with the students.
VGU UKEp THIS ONE:, YOU'U- L-OVE
* PRIVACY WITH HONOR1
I hey hoped that the time for student unrest has passed, that now students will return to
books and socializing. I hey hoped that protest; was just a phase, a passing fad ol the
Bauman Bows In
Ihe E d i t o r :
Nol
In The Final Analysis
with the way that their lives have been r u n at their college.
T h e N e w Paltz students are trying\to prevent the "regression" of administration
policies - things like tightening requirements, lowering grades, and cutting back ex-
i*.?.!«%Y.%v.;.:«v.%v.v.*. by Glenn von N o s l i t z f t ^ S W f t * * * ^ ^
perimental studies funds. They arc also dismayed at the power o f the College Assembly
(comparable to o u r University Senate), the denial of tenure to a popular philosophy
professor because o f his age, a n d the dismissal of three women faculty members.
L o u i s T . Benczet's days as University Presi-
Such actions are not unique t o the campus at N e w Paltz. W e h a v e o u r o w n parallels
dent a r e d r a w i n g t o a close, a n d i n a short
here. T h e tenure issue is still hot, and the University Senate, as major policy-making
w h i l e the process o f f i n d i n g a suitable replace-
body in academic affairs does have its problems. As well, the University will be seeking
ment w i l l begin a n e w .
a new President to succeed Benezct; students should have a say in that decision. But, if
C o n t r a r y t o theassessmcntBenezet m a d e i n
we d o not organize and prove ourselves responsible enough to make our voice heard,
his r e s i g n a t i o n s t a t e m e n t , his yeurs here w e r e
no one in the administration will listen.
not very g o o d ones for S U N Y A . M a n y o f the
problems
tenure
SUNY
Ihe
were
University
faces d u r i n g his
imposed f r o m
Central
without—from
Administration
a n d the
the past to achieve goals like reform in grading, innovative courses and examination of
legislature. Less und less p o l i c y - m a k i n g was
the tenure process. W e cannot let this progress slip away f r o m beneath us. Those things
left to t h e U n i v e r s i t y C e n t e r itself, as the peo-
we worked so hard to achieve are now threatened by powerful administrations. The
extinguished.
ple
downtown
decide
how much
capital
construction there would be, h o w many fullt i m e students w c w o u l d e n r o l l und the size o f
Perhaps this spring, things will be different. Perhaps there are some things that need
our
operating budget.
During
j o be said, and need to be said loudly.
the
Bcnezet
years
there
was
d e t e r i o r a t i o n i n a l l three o f these areas. W e
now
need c a p i t a l c o n s t r u c t i o n ; the campus is
o v e r c r o w d e d . T h e size o f I h e student body is
loo
large a n d faculty-student ratios
have
worsened for t h e f i f t h consecutive year. F i n a l ly, ihe o p e r a t i n g budget has not kept puce with
inflation and enrollment g r o w t h :
EDITO* I N C U I W
ANN E. BUNKB*
AkiKTlNT TO THE ElMTM
DAIRY BENNETT
N I W I EDITO*.'
..'.....,
AHBCIATS N I W I EDITORS
Cmr EDITO*
......'
'
, v , jNAN.CY ALBAOOH, PANIEL ClAINts||j
;
D A V I D HAKHHSNUIKI
EJOTMIAL PACI E M I O I
NANCY M I L L S *
A m EDITO*..
A s o c u r i A B U EDITO*
WMVKW EDITO*
..'!'
..,
..r....,
,
,
AaocjATi A D V B T I H N G MANAGDI .
C u s u n n Aamuttmm M A N A O B .
racHNicAi. E M T O *
..*.,......
AMOCIATI TSCBNICAL EWTOM , ' „
•utiNiai M A K A C H
CBA i n n E a r n *
lADvunuNG tmmvcimt ...
fsajfouMrsnr E D T T O U .
Bui
„.(......
l o o m a n y o f t h e p r o b l e m s were self-
i m p o s e d . S e v e r a l outside evuluutors reports o f
various university d e p a r t m e n t s p o i n t e d to u
lack o f c o m p e t e n t , directed leadership f r o m
the t o p . T h e r e has been no real focus o f decision m a k i n g , u n d t o o little a c c o u n t a b i l i t y .
Kivm D A N I I U
,
A M O C M T I Srans E O H M
I
LBU.II DAVII
'..'...
pwaw EMIM
A B V U T I I I N U MAMACDK
.DAVID LERNU
M o r e o v e r , t h e r e has been d e p a r t m e n t a l l a c - '
JUDY OAYMOKI
l i o n a l i z a i i o n ( o f t e n encouraged by the a d -
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W*t*Aff *AITUU.Y WINDED IY THE ITUMNT ASSOCIATION
Smith
been denied
out
to prevent h i m f r o m w i n n i n g a leuching
In his English 213 (Science F i c t i o n ) c l u s s o n
reuwukenings, the students of New Paltz have organized and voiced their discontent
spirit o f community between students and faculty, as well as students alone, is a l l but
has C u r t
a w a r d us w e l l !
College at New Pallz. In what hopefully will be the first in a long line ol" student
fragile, and yet somehow lasting experience. Faculty and students worked together in
only
tenure; it looks as though "certain p o w c r s " a r c
bored elite. That reassurance has all but been shattered by the recent events at S U N Y
The fraternity achieved among members o f a strike or a demonstration isa delicate,
improve voter turnout and knowkajgasbility
does not lead t o sex crimes. "•'/•'.
of the candidates. It Is also hoped that from
i.
O u r police agencies s h o u l d b e w o r k i n g
examination of this year's election, a code of
l o prevent c r i m e ; they h a v e n o business p l a y - • fair campaign practices can be written and
ing such i n f a n t i l e g a m e s a s s n o o p i n g a r o u n d . sent to Student Association for approval.
t o m a k e sure that p r i v a t e ditizens a r e seeing
and
reading o n l y a p p r o v e d materials. I d a m n
well d o riot w a n t m y t a x m o n e y used t o p a y a
p o l i c e m a n ' t o censor m y l i t e r a t u r e !
4. "Pornography"
has
'
never'
been
d e f i n a b l e u n d never w i l l b e . because it is n o t a
Creativity
We are younger than our parents, and our
To the Editor:
luck of cynicism is one of our greatest assets,
In regards lo Elliot Ramer's letter (ASP,
so lets take advantage of il! I don't beleivc
February 4 ) , I with to congratulate him und
that the SA has been open enough to creative
his "inlbrmunts" on boldly proffering u sound
change. Too often, the people in our student
piece of advice as regards any China policy:
government tend towards Ihe more secure,
"[The Chinese people],...do not welcome or
trnditionnl ways. Caution is good, but oyerappreciate the intrusion of uninformed inmillion can take the life out of un organizadividuals into their political affairs, any more
tion.
than wc in America would welcome such inI would like to sec the Political and Social
terference." Regrettably, Mr. Ramer's ad, monition is twenty-five years too late, as had it Positions Committee ol the S A reorganized so
nol been for our uninformed meddling at that that it would be involved in the creation and
lime, there would be no "Chinese political Investigation of new ideas. Ideas could come
from all sources, including the committee
problem" today.
itself and of course students.
In concluding his letter he gives us a further
In Conclusion...
opportunity tocorrect our ignorance by listing
I am running because I want to help the
Ihe name und address of one of his "inforStudents, and this is my means to achieve that
mants" that wc may seek the truth in regards
end. In summary, my platform is this;
to "any aspects ol Chinese culture" wc may
anything I believe the students wunt orneed. is
choose.
what /want. Inclosing.I wanl to remind you
In concluding my letter I should like to add I Inn your vole (yes. even in a campus election)
yet another source, albeit my "informers" are does mailer, and il you don't vote this year,
more difficult to contact than those of Mr. don't complain next year!
Ramer. The reader may direct enquires to
I hank you.
students at (he Interrogation Centre of Ihe
Andrew Bauman
Secret Police at Taibei, (Ching Bei Tsung Pu),
und the political prison on Green Island, (l.u
Tlio), Tuiwan, or us it is more uffectionutely
known, burning Hot lslund,(HuoShaoTao).
Alas, Mr. Ramer, you're a day lute and a
dollar short.
structive critique. Most of this evaluation passes unnoticed and without incident. It
tablished for the nomination o f the"DistinguishedTeacher"award.
cept p e r h a p s t h e v e r y y o u t h f u l ) . I t c e r t a i n l y
i m p r o p e r a n d u n f a i r procedures o n n u m e r o u s
tenure cuscs (inclusing missing files, slacked
Tiles, m a l i c i o u s u n d u n f a i r c o m m e n t s ) as well
us t o o m u c h secrecy, u great (deal o f general ,
b a c k b i t i n g und the g e n e r a l i g n o r i n g o f student j
und
f u c u l t y o p i n i o n o n m u n y crucial issues, ,
beginning with
M o h a w k T o w e r fiusco a n d
campus p a r k i n g und l e a d i n g u p t o p r o b a b l y
1
p r o m o t i o n o f R i c h a r d K e n d a l l . F i n a l l y there
hus
been t o o m u c h a d m i n i s t r a t i v e disregard (
for t e n u r e a n d p r o m o t i o n o p i n i o n s o f depur-
iiK'iit faculties,
I he administration has done little to stop all
this. There bus been a great deal of rhetoric
about this being a "University Community".
Km there has been no action to make it into
one.
These problems cannot be blamed on the
legislature or on SUNY Central Administralion.
Now wc can begin again, with a new President and a new Ails and Sciences Wean. A
Presidential Searrh Committee will soon be
formed, to be overseen by the University Community Council, livery conceivable cllori,
must be made lo ensure that this will he an
open, free body, widely representative of the
entire University, ll cannot be "slacked". It
cannot opcrale under cover.
Perhaps if il is open wc will gel a President
in 1975 who is fair and forceful, who will exercise leadership rather ihcn leaving so many of
the imporianl decisions lo a Vice-President
with little experience in.aeadeinia, Wc need a
President with exceptionally fine academic
credentials, so that we will have not only
political, hut academic leadership, We need a
President who will give us not only prettysounding speeches, but substantive ones, as
well.
The same qualities arc needed in the new
Arts and Sciences Dean. Student leaders say
that Candidate Morton Kaplan hud the required personality >for the job, since he came
across us a forthright man and u good leader.
Unfortunately, too many of his views were antithetical to the student position. The same
.should hav.e been true for the position of
Associate Dean lor Bchuviorial and Social
Sciences. But now it appears ull too likely that,
Kiehurd Kendall, u man with liltloueademic
standing und without broad-based support,.
will gel the job.
If the selection process is truly open, for
once, perhaps wc will finally gel candidates for
President und Deun who possess the qualities
this University really needs,
To the Editor:
At this time, I would like to announce my
candidacy for Vice-President of the Student
Association. I believe 1 possess the
enthusiasm, experience, capabilities, and
energy required for the job.
Having attended another State University
(Delhi) prior to my coming here lust August. 1
find I huvc an udditionul perspective thut will
complement the job. I wus u member of this
year's Budget Committee, um u justice on our
Supreme Court, u represcntutivc to the University Scnutc (und on it's Educutional Policy
Committee), and have attended every Central
Council meeting this semester as a student
spectator.
I have been very active in SASU, and have
been working with Ken Stokem us assistant
coordinator for SASU.
Wednesday. M a r c h 2 0 t h , wc tilled out c o m puterized evaluation sheets which u n d o u b t e d ly pluy some part in determining C u r t S m i t h ' s
eligibility l o r a t e a c h i n g a w u r d . W e l l , while the
A Cut In Admission Prices
It would be one of my top proirities to look
Into the feasibility of reducing or abolishing
admission pricesof SAfundcd activities. Early
in the year, I pressed Budget Committee to
thoroughly discuss the possibilities, but il was
lo no uvail. It is now time to bring il up again.
Currently we students are paying 64 dollars a
yew for student uctivitics, yet we still musl pay
again when we attend something on campus. I
would press for a complete study' us lo where
wc would need to cut and where the prices
could come down. With these results in hand,
wc could then evaluate what the students wuni
und need.
Quid Hoards
I his school is too large for us lo.sensibly depend on cumpus-wide uelivilies lo fulfill the
students individual social needs. Quads allow
the campus natural subdivisions with which lo
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
whatever.
5. There is plenty of real obscenity in this
country. On a street orner near my home is u
conspicuously displayed a huge, garishly ugly
red und yellow McDonald's billboard. 77iu is
an obscenity, and - v e r y much to Ihe point- - 1
cannot avoid seeing it.
There are far worse obscenities, of course. If
the poisoning of oui air and water and the rape
of ihe land itself is nol obscene, if racism and
every such kind of irrational hatred thut runs
rampant in our country is not obscene, Ihcn
whul is'.' (Sex, of course!) What about the innumerable abuses of power tit every level of
government'.'Ihe behavior ol our national administration is an obscenity und a gross insult
lo ihe American public. The Viel Nam war
wus a mind-boggling obscenity. The list could
be multiplied indefinitely.
So what are we doing about these things?
I )ocs anyone really have lime to worry about
whether bis neighbor is watching a sex movie?
When such movies are banned the neighbor
will probably he out peeping in ul someone's
bedroom window instead.
ft. By banning "pornography" we will turn il
into a profitable illegal ruckel which wc cunnot control, just us wc have done with gambling, drugs" and prostitution. It seems that
despite thousands of years of experience people cannot learn that prohibition and control
are not syniinynious bill on,lhe contrary are
mutually exclusive..
7.
It has been demonstrated many times
thai Ihe prurient attraction of sexual material
depends largely on the knowledge thut it is forbidden. When it becomes freely available (to
adults, or course, and in private) it loses much
of its attraction. The only function of a bunwill
be lo give satisfaction to the "moralists" who
have u compulsion lo outlaw everything of
which Ihey disapprove because they are
helpless to do anything else.
In order to accomplish these tasks U.S.F.
needs a large working membership. I appeal to
all who have any interest in student govern-,
ment to attend a meeting of the U.S.F. on
Tuesday April 2 at 7:00 p.m. in Lecture Center
5. If there are any questions, please feel free to
eoniacl me.
Greg Lessne
Chairman U.SiF.
those Who Live
In Glass Houses
T o the Editor:
I w o u l d like t o respond t o W a y n e H a l p e r ' s
letter o f M a r c h 8. First o f a l l , I w o u l d like t o
tell y o u t h a t I became heavily involved i n S t u dent A s s o c i a t i o n this year. I w a s n o l involved
last y e a r , b u t this y e a r I h e l d , u n t i l M a r c h 8
when I resigned, o n e o f t h e f o u r m a j o r e x ecutive
positions
i n the Association. M y
resignation was f o r ucudemic reasons, but
thal's beside the p o i n t . W h a t I w o u l d like a l l o f
you l o k n o w is w h a t I reulized a b o u t the p e o ple that u r e presently involved in S A , und thut
is that t h e y are a smull n u m b e r o f p e o p l e —
small because il w a s hard t o find people t o
help us this year. They're a dedicated g r o u p o f
people t h a t , honest t o G o d . spend 2 0 t o 4 0
hours a w e e k d o i n g various sorts o f w o r k for
the association
handling
speaking t o a d m i n i s t r a t o r s ,
student p r o b l e m s , whatever, a n d
corny as this m a y sound to W a y n e -
these p e o -
ple w o r k f o r h i m a n d y o u und m e . W e don't get
much m o n e y lor w h u l w c d o . I made a p p r o x i m a t e l y $ 7 / w c e k in m y position
$7 t h a t
I w o r k e d 2 0 l o .10 h o u r s / w e e k f o r . That's p r e t ty low p a y , needless to say, h u t I h e other p e o ple in i h e office m a d e it w o r t h i l . S u r e , some o f
them
h a v e been a r o u n d u long l i m e -but
they're f r i e n d l y . They were friendly l o m e t h e
first d a y 1 walked i n t o I h e office a n d they're
still friendly l o me. They're n o l a n y picture o f a
clique. A clique is w h a t I sec us u g r o u p o l selfcentered people thut lit Ik to n o one hut insiders
und gossip about each other. This is not w h a t 1
found
in
S A . and I
would
like
to say
s o m e t h i n g else: A n y b o d y can w a l k up l o C a m -
professor honestly kept himself absent f r o m
pu C e n t e r .146 and offer to help. Y o u won't he
ihe classroom during the e v a l u a t i o n session,
turned u w u y . Y o u w o n ' t he i g n o r e d . It's d a m n
Such people as these are the ones with the
dirty minds; it is they sho are pathologically
the girl w h o was administering the e v a l u a t i o n
obsessed with sex. It is they who are responsiknew nothing a b o u t it! She could not p r o v i d e
ble lor our children's learning lo treat sex and
us with the instructor's code called f o r o n t h e nudity us u dirly joke, something to smigger
c o m p u t e r shcel a n d was unable to get the i n - ul. What they really wnal is to legislate human
f o r m a t i o n f r o m the English d e p a r t m e n t .
naiure. This isof course no idle fantasy but,
further, il is un arrogant assumption of
H a v i n g taken computer science, I u m well
superior morality and an outrage against pera w a r e thai a p r o g r a m must be complete before
sonal, liberties.
the computer w i l l process i l correctly. I n view
of
I h e missing code numbers, it does not
appear thai C u r l S m i l h has much o f a chuncc
lo w i n a leaching a w a r d .
Carole Harnof
Herewith is my general platform:
SASU
Only a simple statement is needed here.
SASU is a major student voice in New York
Slate politics, and it's about lime Stale University students had ill SASU also allows
students lo udvantagc of money-saving services, which only un organization of it's si/.c
can oiler. SASU is imporianl; very iinpnntmi
und musl besupporlcd und worked with lo the
fullest extent!
m e a n i n g f u l concept. It is a purely e m o t i o n a l
v a l u e judgement w i t h n o substantive content
Obscenity Is In
Our society is based on Ihe premise of personal freedom, and any infringement of that
freedom must be specifically justified!. The
burden of proof is of those who would restrict
freedom. In other words, if you voted for this
hill or intend to vole for a compromise version
you arc hound lo answer the simple question:
iVhy? You must make u case and defend il with
und. objective evidence.
ill
hard l o find help. W e all w o r k e d s h o r t - h a n d e d
Ibis year. I myself advertised f o r a n assistant
and
gol n o responses. D o n ' t l e t ' n n y b o d y kid
you
i f y o u wanl l o . y o u can get a hell of a lot
out
o f t h e S A g r o u p s and o u t o f S A . i f y o u
choose t o become i n v o l v e d . A n d d o n ' l t h i n k
it's
l o o late l o offer y o u r assistance for this
year
if y o u d o c o m e d o w n here, you'll f i n d
that the people spending a l l I h e i r l i m e in I h e
office
a n d d o i n g p o o r l y in s c h o o l , f o r t h e i r
I line and t r o u b l e
h a v e more in I h e m l o be a d -
m i r e d t h a n despised. A n d i n closing. I w o u l d
like lo a d d a w o r d o f w a r n i n g
w a t c h out f o r
people w h o sling m u d at other people, f o r if
I h e y can o n l y build themselves up at Ihe e x pense o f o t h e r s , perhaps they're not w o r t h
listening l o .
John C. Overbeek
S a n d y Bodner
The Eye
U.S.F. Wants You
Of The Beholder
lo
ihe E d i t o r ;
To ihe Editor:
To the E d i t o r :
I lie following is a copy of a letter to Stale
Senator Waller Langley.
W e a r e a small g r o u p o f graduate students
As evidenced by I h e n u m b e r o f declarations
of candidacy present in Ihe A S P , it is o b v i o u s
I suppose I a m a bil late in w r i t i n g , bin I u n - ihat m a j o r political elections arc a b o u t to ocderstand d i a l t w o versons o f the proposed
American Graffiti
cur.
U n f o r t u n a t e l y , the i m p o r t a n c e o f these
obscenity hill musl now be reconciled il it is to elections
puss. This hill is a piece o f idiocy und un o u t - student
is
nol usually rcfleclcd by either
t u r n o u t or knowledge o f I h e c a n -
engaged i n a research project o n g r a f f i t i ,
L i m i t e d by size, l i m e , and budget, wc must
seek
alternate
y o u n g m i n d a l o n g w i t h the student's m o b i l i t y
m a k e college students a v a l u a b l e source.
rage. Surely g i o w n men and w o m e n entrusted
didalcs' qualifications for office. As a l l t o o
w i t h Ihe stale's serious business have better
many realize, this luck o f k n o w l e d g e o f the
things lo d o ! Just because N i x o n ' s S u p r e m e
candidates' b a c k g r o u n d s often results i n elec-
you
C o u r t is systematically demolishing the Bill o f
tions
project,
being
popularity
contests.
Another
methods to o b t a i n samples
n a t i o n w i d e , I h e alertness a n d retention o f the
We w o u l d greatly appreciate any ussislunce
cun give lo aid o u r s o l i c i t a t i o n
f o r this
Rights, thereby m a k i n g a l l sorts o f g o v e r n -
possibly regrettable uspect o f student elections
We
ment repression constitutional, is no reason
is the presence o f unethical c a m p a i g n prac-
strategic
for
tices. A l l ol the above m e n t i o n e d adversities in
tributions then send t h e m o n t o us C . O . I ) , o r
the slutc o f N e w Y o r k to pluy f o l l o w t h e
lender.
t h o u g h t y o u might place a b o x in a
location
f o r y o u students' c o n -
elections can be dealt w i t h a n d a r e Ihe c o n -
possibly y o u could p u t a couple o f lines in y o u r
cerns o f the United Student's F r o n t ( U . S . F . ) ,
paper a s k i n g the students to send direct t o us
relegated l o I h e garbage can:
The present goals o f the U . S . F . d o not i n c l u d e
at the a b o v e uddrcss a n y clever graffiti they
1. Il is nobody's business whul anyone else
views in seclusion.
i
the endorsement o f any c a n d i d a t e . Its present
have observed.
H e r e are a few reasons w h y Ibis hill musl be
purpose is I n i i r etligute the u p c o m i n g elec-
B u r l Moss
There is no reason 10 believe t h u l " p o r -
tion und f r o m these observations p r o p o s e
P.O. Box 8402
n o g r a p h y " has a n y ill effect o n a n y b o d y ( e x -
measures w h i c h m a y he taken in the f u t u r e l o
2.
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
'•
:
(Jreensboro, N . C , 2 7 4 1 0
PAGE THIRTEEN
^•M
columns
wookijt
territory, the Ache are forced to settle on land
alloted to them to "compensate" for areas
titan.
, Anthropologists from around the world are
familiar with the situation. Reports have been
published, accusations and denunciations
thrown. The Roman Catholic Church in
Paraguay has acknowledged the existence of
these practices, so has the World Council of
Churches.
by Hal Milmud
" It's still a sign of status around here to own
your own Ache*." Mr, Stolz explained. "Many
Paraguayans .consider them the fiercest Indians in the country, and I guess for some of
them it is like having a tiger at home to show
off to friends." From a New York Times article. January 21, 1974.
- In the jungles ot eastern Paraguay a tribe of
Indians known as the Ache", are faced with
cultural and physical genocide. Not unlike
• Paraguay, other South American countries,
most obviously Brazil, Bolivia, Peru and
Columbia, are all involved in the systematic
extermination of the Native Peoples of their
respective countries.
The Ache's are victims of armed raiding parties with the intent of slaughtering, enslaving,
and forcing, them to live at designated reservations. Men, women, and children are being
indiscriminately eliminated during such
hunts, with the exception made for Ache's who
submit to being tamed and trained as killers of
their own people.
Chose willing to accept unadulterated
slavery! may also be kept alive for indefinite
periods as work hands at bare subsistence
levels and without medical attention. The use
of their language is discouraged; their'
traditional music prohibited. The death rate
from diseases of malnutrition coupled with the
lack of will to1 survive is destroying them.
A report of one raid goes as follows: "This
raid was organized toward the end of August.
1971...some specialists in killing Ache's were
contracted for the purpose and were paid from
the funds of the esiamla-.At was carried out
with machete knives. There were between 12
and 20 killed, some of them most probably the
mothers of kidnapped children. A least 5
. small children were captured alive."
Up until last year, the town of San Juan
Ncpomuceno was the center of slave trade —
an Ach/ could be bought for $10 or so, but
now there are so many available the price has
dropped to $5. ,„" ; '
The liq uidatibn of the Ache's has progressea
The situation has become worse as of 1968, hand in hand with the building of roads and
when a road was completed across their the "civilization" of the jungle areas; with
commercial penetration which has been heavi- curences, a i they lit in their nicely decorated
ly financed from the U.S.
- rooms, talking music, getting high, bragging'
' about the past weekend's exploits/ and just
U.S. aid has been flowing tato Paraguay plain bitching about the poor state!:.' of afsince 1954. It would not teem unfair to infer fairs that the world now finds herself in.
that the Paraguay military vehicles accom- Weren't we the ones whowere supposed to
panying the Ache hunts are of American change the world?
manufacture. Widespread military facilities,
airstrips and roads leading to them, pushing
And where are those scholars whose emthrough areas once populated by the Aches, pirical arid completely degrading and imperhave been made available to the US. Both sonal studies have bombarded us with useless
'Paraguay and Brazil had agreed to build one information about one ridiculous thing or
of the world's most. massive hydroelectric another,. Their attempts to categorize,
power plants, just a short distance from Ache" generalize and predict, can be seen only as disland.
iplines with the intent of control. Our Mother
Earth and all Her Creatures are investigated
In Brazil the Indian population has dropped ' more so than not so man can dictate,
from about 2 to 3 million in 1500 to 180,000 at manipulate, and exploit. Wouldn't it be
the present time. Meanwhile the nation has something if wecould makeourownweather?
grown to 100 million. Between 1950 and 1968,
If for nothing else the scholars should be inthe Cacaas Novas tribe Was reduced from 30,terested in saving these peoples "for science's
000 to only 400 people.
sake." After all my People have been
The primary area concerned is the as yet un- destroyed, who will be left to study? There arc
developed Amazon Basin, which is seen as a too many scholars and too few human beings.
goldmine by the various industrial interests, YOU have the capacity to effect change.
often owned by Americans. The raping, and Don't you understand? People arc dying, and
.dcstroyingl of this land, needless to say, will all in the name of that wonderful contribution
be followed by the complete and irreplaceable of western civilization — progress.
loss of Native culture; perhaps even existence.
If one looks back a 100 years or so we see
The Quecha Indians of Bolivia are just that this has occurred before. The Indians of
another example of the Natives destined to be America were systematically destroyed and
civilized by "progress," A crew of American culturally sterilized. Many feel that the undoctors were and some say still are, sterilizing civilized practices of the whites was indeed disQuecha women as they come to maternity graceful but. that was the past and what is
ward facilities, without the women's done is done. OPEN YOUR EVESIThc idenknowledge. Many so called "educated" people tical thing is happening right now. The names
are', well aware o f this barbaious practice, and places have changed, yet the cirparticularly: one member of' the - cumstances, motives and results arc the same.
anthropology department here at
SUNYA. Why don't you speak for. all the
I read these words and my mind cries out
world to hear'.'
with pain. I have heard them many limes
before. .My ancestors fell to the lies of the
Why is the American media, and the world whiles as the golden stalks of wheat fall to the
wide media as well, so silent when it comes to sickle. Now I sec these people facing the same
such issues as these? Where are all those misery, the same dcatnTlvly soul can never be
IIBKKAI, minded and humanistic people still.
now? It's the same old story. Everyone offers
as to how horrified they are at such ocI have spoken.
Plenty of Temptations But No Persuasions
by K.M. Daniels
Calvalcade of Hits Follow.
(More Million Sellers)
Compatibility is a major factor
Immediately the Temptations
determining success for a musical
group (two or more). When success rendered "Get Ready" and followed
., can be claimed by handholds in each with "My Girl" which was quite un. of three decades we know there must like the original due to the noticeably
be something good being produced. faster tempo but it was only used as
. An illustrious track record provides an intro and after expressing a few
a long list of Temptations gold and bars came "The Way You Do The
platinum recordings, each receiving Thing You Do", again unlike the
high praise in a very devoted and way we know it on records, the
diverse market.-The Temptations: a group here rendering a decidedly
Aquarius, a Scorpio, a Cancer, and ifibrc jazzy version.
two Libra's are a provenly great
combination.
Slip Into a Love Theme
The T e m p t s , t h e Lord
(adagio)
Chamberlains of Motown.., came
Almost immediately the Tempts
into town last Friday to put on a continued, each member eventually
show: few, if any, were dissap- getting his chance to sing the lead,
pointed.
one reason responsible forgiving the
Temptations such a wide variety of
Opening up their portion of the sounds and styles. Imagine, each of
show, the Tempts immediately took these five gents are equally as
control producing "I Can't Oct Next capable vocalist with little noticeable
To You" (million seller) immediately weaknesses: all being technically
sending somewhere between six and flawless and capable of reaching and
seven hundred females into an ab- maintaining anything within each of
solute frenzy. That "instinctive" sur- their own ranges. Here then again is
ge pushed down towards the stage as a plus lo the Tempts as a musically
the Tempts,, "decked out" in compatible organ. Together they
matching white suits, went through lack nothing for jointly their vocals
soine.Ci'/M that literally took possess- may range from the lowest, deepest,
ion of a few bodies, as a black sea to the highest tonal qualities.
swayed to the throbbing electric
In a slower segment of Ihc show
manner of the Tempts. At this point "...we are going lo talk about love..."
in lime the only question left was and the artist worked a song that in
".lust how many golden
oldies^ itself was quilc unusual for the
would the Tempts deliver?"
I empis, for in fact that it is not their
own original material: "What The act with their patented styleofweav- Stephene. Millet who tang numbers
World Needs Now." In many years Tng. dancing and singing, each like "Superstition," "ftt never love
of seeing these artists on ihc stage." t e m p t doing a little bit of the vocal nobody d i e but you," "You Got A
Friend." "I Got to Be Where You
only when the Tempts actually join-, work, spotlessly and together. '
cd in with someone else would this be
The band here was 'extremely Arc." "I Can't Live," and her own
the case. ••
tight, funky and were suitod perfect- single soon to be released on
"Love Woke Me Up This Mor- ly to the movement of the Tempts, all Paramount. "If I Knew It Wat
.ning" and. "Hey Gir|..,.....l Like .working to produce that classic Love."
Your Style" continued the pace of, • Tcrhpts sound. The band consisting . Stephene had a great sense of ,
this portion of the show and the five of 'bassist. Ricky. Stevens: .lead ' stage presence, a willing audience..
men easily, calculatingly, assaulted a guitarist,'Dill Vcalc. Aaron Smith but her one failure, which mutt-be
few "poor youiig things" hearts. A drums: Francis Grant, and Fratuty 'considered major wat her inability to
thousand "ooohs"and "aaahs" were Murphy and his orchestra aju reach and descend from the higher
ranges. While at the upper ranges no
noticeable and some young lady in through the chart* very well.
/front of me (kind of young) sighed • Next; a slowdown produced' a problem would be evident, obviousso hard that I think she may have , beautiful "JIM my imagination" and ly therefore reflecting "reason why"
been heard throughout the theatre; a litllcimprovisational"! Like Id in- she selected the numbers she did. all
(that's control!) , ','" ....;.'."'":•
troduce myself" sung by Dennis of which hud little vocal differentiaAnother non- Tempts original (the,, 'liilNvardii;Aquarius ...,:..tind David tion required, (null said)
second of two- thill, wasn't Temp- Melvin. Libra."
tations gold or. plalihuih) was the ;.' At the end there was only o n e
1
* No Persuasions •
Bcallc's."Longand VVindingKoad." thing missing and it quickly filled the
a beautiful song, marred by several void. Yes, "I'ana Was A Rolling . Major dissappointment must be
bursts ol feedback from the slightly Stone" rang through' the,ttula.eeas voiced over the non-attendance of
vocalist
loo small sound- system, ('note: the Tempts worked down the chorus the billed Perfusions,
'•
_•.
'< aeapella: These brothers masters at
These feedback hursts were rioted l i n e : •
l lie art of "under the lamposl" sing"I'apa was a rolling stone
earlier but the nature ofthc songing, would make any show with the
Wherever lie laid his hal.'..":'
fllighs involvcdjrcquired a hit
'Temptations worth the price chargmuch more lhan'hc system could
comfortably handle.) Immediately.
Humbly appreciative bows ed' lo the public. But'no notice was
Kichard lakes over and sings lo followed by the warm display of ap- given to patrons of their nonsomeone yen special, from the provalprovidcd a selling where hap- attendance leaving many of their
newest Tempts effort /WW, and soon py faces were 'alighting from the fans disgruntled and frustrated.
Therefore the concert was somewhat
from Mmimpim', an effort previous theatre.
"deceptively managed leaving me
to the above mentioned rie'w release
only to reply again that some
brought about the long awaited "In
(production) people still "Have to
.-•Also;* J ,«
the Ghetto," Here the Temptations
Also on the bill was little known gel tHcir own acT together!"
re-iuforccd their position as a visual
•{IHiNI <« UJJj il'jUl'.HAM
Etj\t TrttVCff
(air Ktwfm,
J".l ifili'lt.
•MA*
(WU/MMETEIDfp,?
VETERANS
HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR Y O U !
How would you like $100
per month, in addition to
your Gl benefits, for up to 20
months, during your last 2
years of college?
And how about an executive
position in any one of 47
career fields, probably i n c l u d i n g the one you're
qualifying yourself for now?
If you had 3 years in service
and are competitive, w e can
start you at about $11,500.
How does that compare w i t h
your present prospects?
You've earned yourself a
good deal and w e ' d like to
see you take advantage of it.
Siena
College
ROTC
program. Guaranteed no
Mickey Mouse and no active
duty if you don't want any.
Come in and have a beer on
us and find out about this.
Siena ROTC, Building, Q2,
Siena Campus, Loudonville
(10 minutes from SUNY on
Route 9 North(. (518) 7850501
Commander Cody In C.C.
At Albany State, the Thursday
night celebration of The Weekend's
arrival has been a long-standing
tradition. On April 18th, University
Concert Board will show the campus
how to do it in style when Commander Cody and His Lost Planet
Airmen invade the CC Ballroom.
Concert alter concert, this
eight member group has its audiences
CoMMMHy
39 NIC!
MfjIIIIIIIINI I
Tuesday, April 16
Friday, April 19
9am - 4pm
Between
LC 3 and LC 4
SEE YOU THERE
THE BOARD
PAGE FOURTEEN!
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
engagin in dance and boogie activity.
Beer will be served, emphasizing the
intent of the program -good fun
with good music.
Commander Cody and the crew
have gone th rough a scries of unique
und profitable changes. "They started
as a rock and roll hand doing
Irathouse beer blasts, turned to jamming country music asa loose group
and playing wilh .18 people al one
time (including Ihc Galactic Twist
Queens), and finally emerged as a
distinctive hand that can rock and
roll ("Hoi Rod Lincoln"), boogie
("Beat Me Daddy Tight lothc Bar"),
and mellow down, country-style
("Seeds And Slems," "Mama Hated
Diesels").
The band, propelled by the ex-
citing guitar of rockabilly Billy C.
Tarlow. has playi.d from Nashville
lo New York, from Calgary to
Bakerslield, turning more and more
people on to their low volume, high
energy music. Greg Shaw in Rolling
Stone says they may be the last of the
great bar bands. Their basic
philosophy is that it would be nice to
see people dance again—and sure
April 3,1974
(MM.II M E M S
Datwf Thtatw)
Performances:
Tues., April 30 - 8:30pm
Wed., May 1 - 9:30pm
at the PAC Main Stage Theatre; SUNYA
Tickets on sale beginning Tues., April 2,
PAC Box Office
funded by student association
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
enough, people do. No wonder[UCB
chairman Mike I'iranian hand picks
this lo he the besi concert of the year.
Tickets for Ihis 8 p.m. "rave-up"
will be on sale April 16th through
18th in (he CC lobby from 10 to 2. A
tax card will get you a ticket for
$2.50. otherwise four bucks will do
the trick.
ll,Nisan5734'
4 Seder Per Israel
(a model seder)
7:30 PM
CC Ballroom
tixmtcffd by ttie
JtwMi Students Ccalltlw
PAGE FIFTEEN
Distinguished Teachers Award Seen At Fraud by Some
Maggie Bell: Queen Of The Night
the old Stax-type horn arrangementMaggie Bell, currently being' the sound associated with Otis Redtouted as "the Scottish Janit Joplin" ding and Sam and Dave. Once the
and "the female Joe Cocker" his temporal shock of what now seems
finally released a solo album. And it to be an antiquated style wears off,
presents her as neither of these. If the accompaniment' is less distracanything, Quern ofihe Nighi(At\an- ting and even enjoyable.'
tic S D 7293) is an anachronism as it
pays respect to the musical styles of
Joplin and Cocker blues styles which
The album has its ups and downs,
peaked around 1970-1971 and faded
but basically manages to keep its
shortly thereafter.
head above water. That is, once the
listener accepts where Bell's musical
interests lie. There are a couple of
.. While the former lead singer of
rockers on the album with traces of
Stone The Crows has a definite grit"
tiness to her voice, it is through the the Cocker drive and which Bell
music and not really through her delivers with just-adequate
enthusiasm. "Caddo Queen" is an
vocals that any similarities arise.
energetic mover that benefits greatly
With her particular choice of
material, she is filling a current void 'from Ralph MacDonald's percusin rock music, specifically in pop sion, particularly on an instrument
blues. The question may "pop" up as which sounds two steps away from
beinga washboard. The beginning of
to whether or not that void
Ringo Starr's song, "Oh My My," is
developed through lack of public interest or lack of such a stylist after also rhythmically exciting, catching
.loplin's death in 1970 and the release the buzzing and explosive effect of
Traffic's "Shoot-out at the Fantasy
of her /"car/album in 1971. The fact
that Cocker is still around and is not Factory." Unfortunately some of the
exactly enjoying the heights of pop- percussion is dropped as soon as the
ularity he had in 1969 and 1970 vocal begins, thereby stripping the
song of much of its punch and returseems to favor the first argument.
ning it only during a short instrumental break.
But Bell is a female and currently
there are no "gutsy women" on the
pop blues circuit. She may click if the
rock audience isn't overwhelmed
and bored by a nagging sense of deja
vii that surrounds her music. Not
only is there the Cocker-Joplin '
sound, but the album is loaded with
The handling of the vocal on
I"After Midnight" is probably Bell's
most agile in dealing with upbeat
songs. Here her voice has a soft edge
to it. i and with tasteful inflection she
makes a deliriously sexual come-on
out of "gonna shake your tam-
oounne" and "everything's gonna be
peaches and cream." Theexched and
jittery guitar responses to her phrasing are perfect reactions. "
Of course the guitar a traditional guitar play, which resembles that of
solo break. '
Wes Montgomery only with a more
But the two songs that give wavering affect, give the song a
Maggie Bell an identity of her own, stand-out position on the album.
superbly supported by her back-up
There are a couple of songs,
musicians, are "The Other Side"and however, which rub the wrong way.
The spirit of Joplin is a pervasive "Tradewinds." The first has a snappy "Yesterday's Music" and "We Had It
element on "Queen of the Night," stop-and-hold rhythm whose music Air are the nonentity songs of the
John Prine's "Souvenirs," and "A frequently changes from "ominous" album. Non-entity songs have no
Woman Left l.onely,"a song from to "brighter day" with a flick of the special endearing characteristics
.loplin's Pearl. Bell's vocals are more old chord change. There's even a hint and, in general, tend to be nonrestrained by comparison, but they of honky tonk piano. In contrast to descript. (Many albums suffer from
are alio smoother. The pipey organ this lively number is the reflective this common phenomena). The two
songs do have a fuzz-wah guitar but
that's about all that comes to mind.
Another irritation on the album is
the intrusion of the Sweet Inspirations, who, singing like a group
of Tinkerbclls, annoyingly lighten
too many songs by adding undesircablc Hull' where Bell might
have been better off ovcrdubbing her
own voice or canning the idea of
back-up vocals altogether. But Bell
is able to survive the softy onslaught
in spite of their inclusion.
on these cats la straight m tt Pmt. "Tradewinds." which is probably the
but the effervescent and celestial most beautiful song on the album,
electric piano creates a new and at- Bell is at her most natural: she takes
tractive coloring.
time to release the emotionally
charged notes without sounding
al fected.something which hurts other
—As' the Years Go Passing By" is purls of the album. The tender piano
"dc blooze" cut of the album, com- accomDaniment' which also inplctc with guitar fills between lines, iroduces the song and sensitive
Bell docs have something and on
"Queen of the Night" several things
become apparent with each listening Maggie Bell has the ability to
transcend the Cocker-Joplin tag
whether or not she gains popularity
by fulfilling that image. She can do
more with her voice than she cares to
on most of the cuts. It is up to her
and herartists-and-rcpetoirc man to
find material like "The Other Side"
and "Tradewinds" through which
she as an expressive and unique artist can emerge.
amilimnl from imy I
student's, the other composed entirely of faculty members." The combined choices of these two committees are then subject to consideration by a Screening Committee
"made up of equal numbers of undergraduate students, instructional
members of the faculty, and administrative officers."
The final recommendations of the
Screening Committee (in the form of
an evaluative Supporting File) will
then be sent to the campusl'residcnt
lor his own recommendation on
cuchcandidate Once completed, each
campus sends its files to the
Chancellor's Office lor the final
selections.
tion lorms are placed in the mailbox
ol each university faculty member
and he assumes thai they receive one.
Ivan Steen, another teacher from
the history department,firstclarified
that he was "not charging mass corruption" but he also questioned ' the
validity of the colleague evaluation,
calling it dubious. Steen explained
that his colleagues couldn't honestly
judge his teaching quality or he
theirs since neither have been to each
-Mil I..I
Douglas. Alexander,, wjiq ,is ccjordinator of the faculty nominating
committee, said that these evalua-
Steen expressed his belief that the
students arc the "prime evaluators"
and Helen Horowitz, who is a
member of the faculty nominal^
committee said that this was in fact
the case. "We put more weight on
student evaluation than anything
rise" Horowitz, i said. She added
s i l n p |y. "students are good judges,
Another criteria in the nominating things to compete and secondly he
process thai has fostered somedisap- doesn't believe a teacher'equality or
provul concerns an essay that all performance can be judged by such
nominated candidates are asked to an essay. Although Steen believes
write. In short, the candidate is ask- that the idea of giving an award I s
ed to express his or her philosophy a step in the right direction" he feels
that the procedures could use some
on teaching.
alterations.
lixactly why the two teaching
Steen. who washimsell nominated,
called the essay "a silly exercise." To awards exist is subject to personal inbegin wilh Steen feels that a can- terpretation. Some may feel as
didate should not actively be doing Solnick does that the "whole thing is
assinine in that it has little to do wilh
leaching." Or as .lohnpoll expressed
along similar lines. "Ibis is not what
leaching is for. teaching isn't a popevents us well as regional maps keyed tilariiy contcsl, teaching i s to the camping and sports sites something entirely different." Alexfeatured in the sourcebook.
ander on Ihc other hand sees
usefulness in the awards, "they'rean
"I he City Scene" contains general attempt to recognize the importance
I ips lor exploring a city and discusses of leaching." He added, "I submit
where to get information; meet peo- thul the cause and effect relationship
ple: find local culture, cheap beds is less than first hoped but at least it
and emergency help for 14 has meanl teacher recognition."
metropolitan cities in the U.S.
Free Travel Guides Available
Several faculty members along
with .lohnpoll have also voiced their
disapproval concerning Albany
Slate's nomination procedural practices. One aspect of the nominating
procedure thaLseems to cause some
friction among the faculty has to do
with colleague evaluation. Bruce H.
Snlnick. a teacher in the history
department, claimed that "the peer
evaluation is ludicrous."
Among all the charges, those of
Johnpoll's were the most serious,
.lohnpoll claimed that a department
chairman on the SUNYA campus
(whom he refused to name but said
"he knows who I'm talking about") is
guilty ul withholding these colleague
evaluation forms from some
teachers who may be "unfriendly."
others classes. According to Steen
this "leaves open the possibility for
potential mishandeling."
I he Albany Student Press is distributing free copies ol a comprehensive new travel magazine for
students entitled Ameriiii—Tlw
IJalSim Siiulem Travel Guide.
This new publication is currently
being distributed on 150 college
talcs on a variety of travel related
s u b j e c t s , and encompasses
numerous modes of ground
transportation including car. hike,
train and boat,
I he practical aspects of traveling
in an energy-crisis era what to
THE DATSUN STUDENT TRAVEL GUIDE 1974
1 0 0 5 maryville pike/knoxville, tn 3 7 9 2 0 / 6 1 5 - 5 7 3 - 8 3 3 1
campuses throughout the country. It ched* lor before going on the road,
couliiins ideas and suggestions lor how to make the trip morecomfor"travelling on a shoestring" as well as table and sale driving tips are
tips nil how to travel morciclliciently I cat tired in an article cnlillcd'Thc
to consume less gas. One million Pragmatics of Car Tripping (with
copies ol the seventy-two page stu- Special (ias-saving Suggestions)."
dent guide will he distributed
A special 28-page section on "The
.nationwide,.. ,framm.mjd-March to (ireat American Outdoors"contains
a slalc-bv-jsta.ie d(scusia0ni.|il--pcrti
kkth, ,.. ' ..„„,, •
•{nierica..written, and researched iicnt navel information on camping,
by students lor .students, features ar- sports, festivals and other general
An article entitled "Kadiolaud.
U.S.A." lists sonic 1% major AM
and I'M radio stations across the
country by stale, city, dial mum her
and musical program (rock, country,
lop 4(1. etc.) to help simplify radio
listening on the road.
Also included are articles on bicycle touring: youth hostels in the U.S.
(facilities, customs and regulations);
American .waterways; hitchhiking;
travel games; and the art of highway
ujJiHVjtfl since llic 1890's •featuring
•. iMUiltiipi'oniincnl travelers as .lack
Kcrouac. John Steinbeck and Ken
Kescv.
!•••••••••——*»——»
WILON week
f
caim cdLeiDa
Thurs. April 18
Fri. April 19
Mon. April 22
CONCERT. WLOMO G1RI£Br1CH
ffltflMT S€WIC€
7:30 PM Chapel House
I9MCL rlLIVrlH CCNTCR Tr1BI£9
8:30 PAC Main Theatre
S a t April 20
orV sale PAC Box office April I
Albany Jewish Community Center April 8
and at the door.
$1.00 JSC members $3.00 adults
$2.00 all other students
Slides,Film,Literature,Photos .People
1 1 - 3 C.C. First-floor lounge
fflriBMT rewice
Film: MLWH
10 AM Chapel House
~Sun. Aprii"21
VOM HdfflOrlH
connenoMTioN
Thure. April 25
Noon-time series:
Dr. Sarah Cohen speaking on The
Burden of Jewishness in the two
novels: 9HI€M L€V||I1€'9 D€r1D rlND
LNING IN N€W.VORK.AND-POBTNOV'?i
COMPMINT and discussion
Fireside Lounge
J
Free
f
lAIafiO
SOVIET J€WN PROGMM
Slides,Taped Message
from. Soviet Jewish
Activist
7;30 PM
Wed. April 24
Noon-time Series
Dr. Martin Edelm an speaking on:
The Role of the Religious
Parties in Israeli Politics"
Fri. April 26
WriDMT rewice
theme:
VOM HrVrlTZMrlUT
7:30 P M
.J&.25 .ISC members'
7:30 P M
LC23
$.50 others
Sun. April 28
S a t April 27
COMMUNITY PrlMDC ffCP-Of*
12 noon corner of New Scotland Ave and Academy Rd
wAmi retMice
10 AM
*TSM€T1^7MOT1GTMS
""""
Israeli singer.comedian,impressionist
ALSO SUNYA's Israeli Dance Group
8 PM
C.C. Ballroom
$1.00 JSC members $2.00 all other students $3.00 adults
Tickets on sale in CC lobby and at Jewish Community Center
y
.April 22-26 and at the door if available,
April 7 at 6 pm
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
Steig at the Last Chance
take the coupon below
stamped at the concert
MONIUM
Then bring it into Just A Song and it will be
and visual experiences
worth $1 off Jeremy Steig's album.
!$1
JEREMY STEIG
At the Last Chance
JUST A SONG
84 Central Ave
Albany 4344)085
TUESDAY; A P R I L
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
m
One of the most unusual jazz group musical
i$l
ISM
Msmm
•IxDfUCiedj by tfie JjWlsLh Students C o a l m e n
If you go see Jeremy
with you. It will be
Film:
$.75 non-members
SPECIAL OFFER:
April 4, 5, and 6 at 9:30 pm
Chapel House
ILOVIC YOU.ROW
8:30,11 PM
LC3
$.50 JSC members
JKHBMrlTHKJ HONIUH
<£$¥?&
LIMITED ENGAGEMENT
" FUmTvVrlLL Jli7elS^€rT "
Chapel House
ON RECORD at
JUST A SONG
463-9777
just a short walk from draper hall
Fireside Lounge Free
Albany Jewish Community Center whitewall Rd.
Tues. April 23
Film:
Writ DOBN IN J€BU5r1L€M
PAGE SIXTEEN
LIVE at the
LAST CHANCE SALOON
GttlNrlL 1 PM
LC 24 Free
7:30 PM Assembly Hall
$.25 JSO members
^j^SOjjojiMnajibers^^^
Temple Israel 2 PM
MMMM
JEREMY STEIG
109 CENTRAL AVE.
7:30 PM LC 23
$.25 JSC members
$.50 non-members
When Helen Horowitz was asked
whether she thought Ihc awards were
an Incentive for teachers to work
harder she replied. "I'm not so sure
it's an incentive, for a really good
teacher is eager and anxious to teach
the really good teacher is doing ii
lor the love of leaching." Horowitz,
added in a sorrowful lone. "Unforluuately there are not enough
awards
there arc far more good
i teachers on this campus than we
,ci|>uld (lope to< recognize." She concluded'. "That's llic' problem, thill's
.the hig^ine.;' ,j(() "
2,1974
I
I
I
I
I
$11
JUST A SONG
Twenty Mall
Cuilderland 4 5 6 4 1 8 7
HMMMM
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS
PAGE SEVENTEEN
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v rMmmpnii •>!»•«• v r n w i w opinnipn
a
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'X?dma£»-"- -•--«-•*••
jY'ifuJiV
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A *-*-'*'-"'VVfSjr*BI*8fSfJfff*e»; Bfflf^BfJVW W SJRJB*rViffav8J 9*n*
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mtm
8 1 9 OTNr6fl«'*WM M8)6fMbW> CaH 487*
8542.
• near 8UMTA w n n a j reaevnabw rant, C M
CLASSIFIED
Happy Birthday Port,
I need someone to ft* broken 3-tpaed bleycle. I'll be happy to pay. Muit have awn
in forming a qu4tt suit* on Dutch Quad?
Call Jean 7-7117.
tools. Call Jeanne, 437-8*32.
A friendship Ilk* ours makes Hit years Hy
by. Waiting you the ultimate in your legal
lift.
OVERSEAS JOSS-Auttrollo, Europe, S.
' Aria C N H M M I f wfvjt* with M M J w c M # n t con-
ret? AA1S
dWon and soon.. 140. Call foul, 43«-7S2l.
WPfT-itautiM, hM, 10«Hli Made
lob-Shepherd that I can no longer Imp.
Rob 43*0932.
Atartin guitar-Excellent condition. Call Joan
482-3308
4 bdrm. apt. for rent. Available Juno 1.
America,Africa.Studontsallprolllioniond
Orwyoor least. $273 without utilities. Up-
occupationi $700 to $3000 monthly. Ex-
perdass or grad. §tud«nts proforrod. Reply
pemeipald, overtime, sightseeing, Free in-
Box 548f E SUNT, Albany.
formation. T U N S W O M B MSEA8CHCO.,
9492J,
1972 Flat 830 Spydor. Minor work needed.
$1200. Phono 889-3643.
Two pooplo wanted to iharo double room
on butlfrie for M e t yoar. Call 463-7234
condition. Good Hrot. $330. Call Ed at 437-
$90 apartment available Juno. Madbon
near Main. 463-8431.
Firm
offers
only.
Call
Shotgun, Rodlno or Slam 472-5102,,
Wantod: 4 or 5 pooplo to summor sublet.
Available Juno 1. Clow to builino. CallSut:
437-4676.
Two people need big backyard in Albany
for beautiful, organic vegetable and flower
.garden. 463-7822. Ask for David.
August. Inexpensive. Females. Call Mary or
Tiouie on SUNV butllne. Many extras (or
Amy 437-4057.
Lost: gold chain amber stone bracelet.
Reward. Call Debra 472-7739.
Workboot—
Found: A Girl's Ring at Melvillo-Steinmetz
party on March 16th. Call Marlene 4574715.
Miami
'75 year. Call 482-6543.
One or two females wanted, fall and/or
Wanted: 3-5 bedroom houie In country. Will
sublease for summer or whole year. Call
482-5857.
apartment
to fill suite
Large, fovely apartment: bedroom, living
Two rings left in third floor girls' room of
on Indian or State Quad. For fall semester.
room, kitchen, bath; in well-kept elevator
library. Reward offered for return of pearl
Call Don or Gary. 7-5047;
ring. Coll Carolyn 457-4694.
summer.
Own bedrooms; sunny, dean
on Partridge
near busline.
Reasonable rent. Call 482-2241.
Wanted: 2 or 3
directly
suitemates
on SUNYA
busline. Ren:$17J month. Available May 1.
Call Jack Richtman, 457-8417or465-1658.
house,
private
rooms,
centrally
roommate
S100. Call 459-1898.
'
'
:
/
al
—Sneak
P.S. Also some electric boobs.
George,
Have a great trip. I'll miss you.
7:30 p.m. 434-6358.
Ill 1 M i l l *
WANIftD
Summer sublet. 4 bedrooms S260/month,
Applying for position as navigator. Contact
7-3073.
»*«IW»»8»M«J.j.,M
Wanted: 2 females to share bedroom in
Ride needed Southern California. Summer.
b.eaMtffuL:ppartment,. o n , Western Ave.
Stephen, Z j A t t t . .
472-8733.
I
- . 1 , .... . .
Ride needed. SUNY lo Latham every Wed, 6
p.m. (Lost bus leaves at 5.) HELP! BJ 7831017 or 7-2190.
June to August. I block from busline. Furnished. $60 month. Call 7-5031 or 7-5051.
Willed St. Apartment for rem. S145. May 1.
Utilities, furnishings, includ. Call 463-4532
Roommate wanted to share large 3bedroom apartment. Own room. April
through August. S50@mth' on State St. Call
377-9022.
The tracksters open up their season Saturday, when they host
New I'ultz and Siena.
Duarest Crab:
Happy
20th.
A
If you want more time
before you start a family,
EMKO Contraceptive
Foam if > beautiful way to
help you say tvbtnl You
may have many reasons
to wait . . . but only one
reason to start your family.
You are ready and you
want to.
In 'the meantime, there
is EMKO Foam. You can
apply it in advance...in a
matter of seconds . . . so
there's no interruption to
mar the mood. So natural
feeling it won't affect the
sensation or pleasure for
either of you.
Recommended by physicians . . . but so safe and
simple to use you can buy
it at your drug department
without • prescription.
EMKO, with lit sffliMtr ih*i Is
JUU si Irmi »/*«.
KE-P1L, wilt Ik tfflktttr ihti
it fn-JUUit • / It « wnk /•
sdoimu.
Mm.
Summer sublet. June to August; furnished;
near busline; rent negotiable; call Paul 4387521.
Need a two-way or one-way ride to
Washington D.C. or area, leaving April 5th
or 6th and returning April 15. Call Debbie,
7-4701.
Wanted: a subletee-female from June I to
mid-August in a desirable apt. on busline.
Rollerskating makes you older.
—Mr. Vanderbelt
457-8071,
.DO IT NATURAL!
Naturalists Club
Ride needed to exit 43 on Thruway. Leaving
April 5th returning April 15th. Coll Naon
457-7825.
Couple looking for some. Willing to share
BarbHappy Birthday from your Secret Admirer.
an apartment starting summer or fall. Call
b
MM
Steve 489-2235.
(couples are okay); unfurnished; on SUNYA
sgBfflffi
Dave,
Happy 19th. The best is yet to come.
Love you
Need a date? Personalized dating service
can help you! Write for free application to:
PDS, Box 559 EE, SUNYA, 1400 Washington
Ave., Albany, N.Y. 12222. Please enclose
self-addressed envelope.
busline; rent $276 "month, without utilities.
Call Terry 438-0802
Elaine
Danny—
How's your pretzel?
—Grocki
Large, modern apartment: 3 bedrooms-1
double,
2 singles;
unfurnished-furniture
What are your politics? Hove fun with a
Doctor B.,
Looking for 3 male suitematet for 5-manln
available;
rent-
Melville-Steinmetc. Call 7-4511.
new game which reveals where you stand
S292@month, without utilities. Call Terry
on the political spectrum. Up to 10 people
438-0802
can play. Send $1.00 to WLD, Box 504,
*1^PERDAY<
on
SUNYA
busline;
Ballston Spa, New York.
Looking for furnished apartment to sublet
7-27—$450—limited enrollment. Write—
The Minds Eye Workshop, Chateau Ecole,
fitimumtwm:
CTE-
NWM
_Tel,_
Deputing e n -
-for_
Ojtujenj QTowner D U e e e Ojuy
Me Gustate Siempre. Y tu?
Crow
Miller Voted M V P
Senior forward Byron Miller,
who finished his varsity career as
the school's sixth all-lime basketball scorer, has been named
Most Valuable Player for the second straight year at State University at Albany. The 6-l'oot-2
co-captain earned the award by
leading the Great Danes in scoring (16.6) and rebounding (8.8),
by scoring double figures in 24 of
25 games in Albany's 17-8
season, and by loading the learn
in scoring 12 times. His 414
points this year brought his
career total to 1,090.
Also honored at Albany's recent post-season banquet were
Miller's three-year running mate
at forward, 6-2 senior co-captain
Reggie Smith, who won coach
Dick Sauers' 100% Award; 6-4
senior Harold Merritt, a frontcourt reserve who was named
Munsey ii advocating. "There
shouldn't be a legal commitment
to any sport. People have the
right to do what they wish, but
the kids here only know what
they have a right to do. They
don't understand, or don't care
to understand, that when they
commit themselves, they should
have some obligation to fulfill
that commitment
The outlook for the team,
despite these obvious problems,
is still fairly good. "We'll be up
there again in the SUNY conference, although a few weeks
ago I would have said that
nobody could even touch us,"
says Munsey. Coming back in
the shot put is defending SUNY
champion Rudy Vido, and he
will be backed by Paul Gutman,
Jim flolloway, and Tom Clcary.
Geary, just a freshman, will also
head the javelin, along with Earl
Holms and Chuck Tomanck.
Despite losing solid performers in the 440 and .880, the
t e a m w i l l s t i l l be wellrepresented, and especially in the
440 where freshman Orin Griffin
and Marty Jefson look like
Albany's best ever at ihat distance. The longer distances are
always an.Albany State specialty, and Jim Shrader, Nick
DeMarco, Bill Sorel, Herb
Hassan, Rich Langford, and
Chris Burns should all be turning
in stellar individual performances.
It may be that because track is
comprised almost entirely of individual performances, that a
different attitude can be seen in
this sport, as opposed to the team
sports of football and basketball.
Within these squads, what hurls
one hurts all, and peer pressure
can usually check any tendencies
toward anyone missing practice
or becoming a prima donna.
track, however, above all,
remains an individual effort, and
School record holder (6 ft. 4 each man more easily says to
in.). Hob Malonc will return in himself, "What's right for me is
the high jump along with promis- right for the team." In this case,
ing Greg Tunningly, Albany's the condition has gone so far that
first Kosberry-floppcr. Long men tire saying. "The heck with
jumper Mclvin Moore, says what I signed. 1 just don't want to
Munsey, "is one of the bright go." There are reasons for this atnew freshmen who show a lot of titude, but there arc also no expromise." John Strecter has the cuses for it. In Munscy's words.
school record in the triple jump "These people have the vote at
18. so why don't they start acting
and will also be the team's lop inlike adults."
termediate hurdler.
Most Improved; and 6-0
freshman
guard
Mike
Supronowicz, who posted the
team's best free throw percentage.
Six-two freshman forward
Hob Audi won MVP honors on
coach Hob Lewis' 17-3 junior
varsity which he led in scoring
(17.8) and rebounding (9.2). He
is given a good chance of making
the varsity as a starter next year,
since Sauers loses his ent ire front
line through graduation.
Smith was second to Miller in
both scoring (12.6) and rebounding (6,8). A co-captain for the
second year, he won the 100%
Award by accumulating the most
points on a Sauers-deviscd
system of rewarding defense,
hustle, and play execution.
Will the white stallion ever streak again?
SL
OlittL ¥oz. of WW4& juice Urt&t
/£ezT/$pt&.
Pittsford, Vt. 05763.
Four bedroom apartment for sublet-June
August near busline. Call 457-3044
Getting married? Let "Bob" photograph
your wedding. Quality work, Reasonable
March came In likea lion and went out like a
llama
prices. Call 459-9337 evenings.
AMIA
Wanted: People to sublet 3 bedroom, furnished
apartment
Quail
on
Western Ave.
and
Happy birthday Chubs—You're as old as
you feell
Typing Service, 439-5765.
Ontario),
).2009month. Call Judy 472-8733
Love,
Typing done in my home. 869-2474,
Barclay Secretarial Agency. Theses, term
Attractive 5 bodroom summer sublet-$60-
papers,
dissertations.
Phone
399-8820,
899-2553'after 6 p.m.
6W Fifth Av«„N.Y.1M17/697-5800
l o v e , Botch
mont, Dorm style lodging and all meals. July
son. Call 472-5629
-449-1494 on builino.
• •umm»r m w - e v hm»
» Puretma iptolol savings
• Hosf.li cwiplng-dlecotint club
Happy 20th and many morel
Skipper,
Export instruction in the scenic hills of Ver-
on busline for June to August for one per-
(between
• CdNTKACIPTIVI
PAGE EIGHTEEN
Need ride to Florida Easter vacation, 2 persons, share expemos. Eduardo 463*1712.
semester. Call Beth 457-5182.
STUDENT- FACULTY PLAN
toss to
Young B and Young P—
Wanted: To rent own room in an apt. Sandy
Basement apartment: 2 double bodroomi
™ "VcdNTnActrTive
VAOIMAL FOAM
TMI INKO COMMNV • or. LOUH, IM,
438-5726.
Looking for apartment with 2 bedrooms on
-MEVPART-ITME I'OSII IONS
Male students needed as salaried
Attendant - roommates to help
handicapped(grad and unilcrgrad) with daily living routine. Positions to begin summer
und-or fall. semesters. No experience necessary. For details
contact J.Larry Railey, Office of
Student Life, CC 137 ,4574296
ring
your loving crab
or 767-3000.
or near SUNYA busline for summer and next
Attractive summer sublet; furnished; new
kitchen; 4 roommates wanted; own room;
near SUNYA busline; reasonable rent. Coll
489-1626.
little
celebrate?
Own room, inexpensive rent. Call Ronnie
Wanted: 2 females to share bedroom in
beautiful apartment on Western Ave,
directly on busline. $50/month. Call Carol
472-8733.
The situation has been
building since last year, when
even captains, on the team, were
missing practices to play intramural Softball games. This
year, however, according to
Munsey, is worse still. "I'm very
disgusted." says Munsey, "with
the attitude of a sizable number
of people this year. We base our
prospects on the men who sign
out equipment, and now we must
draw up completely different
line-ups because many of these
p e o p l e have n e v e r even
attempted to make practice. •
"1 do understand that one or
two cases have had problems
with their studies, but there have
only been two men who have had
the guts or common decency to
call mc and say, 'coach, I have to
quit.' "
It is a new attitude which has
bothered Munsey the most. He
remembers a time when the work
ethic was stronger with people.
Maybe, at times, it became too
strong, but it is not a Nazil-uhrer relationship which
Share both male-female. Call between 6-
Directly on busline. S50/month. Call Carol
Summer sublet. Beautiful 4 bdrm. apt. from
really be known exactly, since
many men have signed up for the
team, received physicals, signed
out equipment, and then rarely
been seen again. "There's one
guy'who I haven't seen for three
weeks," says the coach, "yet he'll
come down some day soon and
expect to be in a time trial. The
heck with him."
Scooby-Doo
Navigator wanted for Sieve Pilot.
wanted—own
bedroom, luxury apt. 8 mtn. from campus.
What most embitters Munsey,
however, is that the number
remaining on the squad can not
Bring me back some bubble gum from
Lost red French purse in CC or Lib. Please
return 482-6543.
located Chinese-American living rm. with
near busline. Call 457-7729.
Responsible
Hie track team started off the
season with 81 men, which was
the best turnout the sport has
ever had here. Among them were
the top performers from the indoor season just completed, and
many of the leading men from
last year's spring team. The team
was stacked in many events.
"Our mile relay team, lor instance," says Munsey, "would
have gone undefeated this year
I'm sure."
At last estimate, however, the
squad numbers around 60 men,
and many of those lost have been
key figures. Gone are Tim
Bilash, the team's best 440 and
880 yard runner this indoor
season, Dave Cole, its number
one high-hurdler, and Tom Pardini, its most consistent long and
triple jumper.
Love,
'Large
fireplace. Large Kit., all utilities, tel., etc.
Summer sublet. Beautiful 4 bdrm. apt. from
Jun. to Aug. Located Western Ave. Right on
busline. Fully furnished. $65(month. Call
436-1640.
Whafs up Doc!
W.N.
mont near SUNYA builint. June through-
unfurnished,
Dear F.L.
t^mmmmmmmmmmmim
EPE: Fantastic (sic) metaphor and father.
KTSI & fTOWE
How's that for a cryptic message? Just more
mmmmmMmmmmmmmmof the local listings I told you to check.
Subleasing four bodroom furniihed opart'
Wanted: Grad itudenti (2) to till 3 bedroom
. bldg.,
To my Friends: There are the "Good" and
the "bozos"you're definitely good...
- Love,
'August. Call Undo or Donna 463-8610.
$31(month. Ready June lstfor summer(74-
the two
of you
for now
business.
by Vlnny Red*
"When you start off with an
absolute powerhouse after coming off indoor season," says
Albany State track coach R.
Keith Munsey, "it's kind of disheartening to see it wither away
before your eyes."
Nondescript
Alden entrepreneurs needs girls for budding
apt. on busline. Own room. From Juno 20 or
HCUSIWC
Top rated by C.U.
1967 Chov. Impafa. Excellent mechanical
Pooh
WANTfD
Contact Marlono 7-4077.
Female wanted to complete 3 bodroom
1983 Pontiac, good condition, must itll Immediately. SlOOor best offer. Call Joe, 4577842.
Wekomo back) 1 love you.
Thank-you.
t urnrihod. Reasonable ront fndudoi utilities.
cogo. 442-203*.
Almost nowl $173. 7- { 9 9 .
Honey Bunch,
Friend,
1-August, 4-3 people Own bodroomi. Fully
Froo—Young Abyssinian golem pig with
ZonHh Storoo Syiton
Counter
Dept. 8-5, P.O. Box 603, Carte Madera, Ca.
For subletting—aportmont on busline. Juno
Trackmen Hurt by Lack of Dedication
Typing done in my home. 482-8432.
COME on down.
Happy 19th,
Big Teen
Stereo Components BSR 260AX turntable,
'with magnetic cartridge 2 months old, Cost
ALBANY STUDENT PRESS'
$49.95, asking, $15. Toshiba, 8 tr cartridge
tapeplayer,
(not a
car player)
with
D. G . Beautifull
R.A.
matching speakers. 2 months old, Cost
$149.95, asking $45. Everything is In excellent condition. Must sell. 489-6661
There are several openings on the
AMIA Council lor next year. The
council makes all rules and decisions
regarding men's intramurals here at
Albany Stale. Application forms arcavailable in CC 356. All interested
parties are requested to apply.
^SuHtttei Sttst~>jte. 5 W ^
%«r4y'cy rtU. Semite.
Big B„
mmmmmmmmmmmmmi
PAID POSITION now available for anyone
interested In serving as Assistant Election
Commissioners for1 Spring Elections, The
commitment would be 'only for the month of
April, vacation not Included, Approximately
6 hours per week. Apply April 2 , 3 , 4 , In C C
346.
Eric—
The AMIA Wrestling Tournament will be held this Sunday,
March 31 in the gym. Team rosters
and Individual sign-up sheets are
available in CC356 and are due Friday at 5 p.m.
individual participation is encouraged. Forfurlhcr
into, see i). lilkin in CC356
Arkady, stop eavesdropping I
First Speaker
TUESDAY, APRIL 2, 1974
I he AMIA spring soccer tournament will hold its formative meeting
on Wednesday, April 3, For further
into, see I), lilkin in CC 356. Rosters
and bond money due at
meeting...No exceptions.
The A M1A swimming meet will be
held alter the upcoming vacation,
TUESDAY, APRIL 2. 1974
There will be al least two openings
lor AMIA student assistants, next
year. The job involves supervision of
activities, red cross first aid certification, and clerical work. It carries an
$800 stipend with it. Applications
are available in CC 356,
L jpit,afajp4Lj6*A*&C
a frae booklet on
mixology writeiOIROUX, P.O. Box 2186 Astoria Statlon.New
York, N.V.
11102.
PAGE
NINETEEN
ALBANYForSTUDENT
PRESS
Glroux i i • product of A-W BRANDS. INC. a subsidiary of IROQUOIS BRANDS LTD.
sports
timdrt, Ml 2. 1974
Youthful Stickmen Prepare For Opener
by David F. Armstrong
Once in awhile they argue
Lacrosse Coach
about the fastest
game—
Frdih the mhJ I700's to basketball or hockey: then about
modern day the game of lacrosse the roughest Hhme—water polo,
has changed very little. Modern football or boxing. But when it
man has designated a playing comes to the top combination,
anta and put certain restrictions the answer is lacrosse. Lacrosse
on the conduct of the game. The is the all-star combination of
basic ideas • of lacrosse have speed and body contact. It reremained the same; by using his quires . more elements of skill,
stick, the lacrosse palyer takes than any game I know.
the ball the length of the field by
Grantland Rice
either carrying or throwing it and
The Albany State Varsity
attempts to throw the ball into the Lacrosse team opens the 1974
opponent's goal.
season on April 6, 1974.
This year's Dane stickmen
have;: young look. There are 13
Lacrosse attracts a unique
freshman and sophomores out of
breed of individual. Its par21 men on the varsity. The varsiticipants unknowingly, almost
ty will have had 4 pre-season
magically become dedicated to a
scrimmages against Union
sport heretofore unheard of.
.College, Mohawk Valley
This intrinsic quality of lacrosse,
Lacrosse Club and RPI prior to
more so than any other sport,
the April 6 opener. Each scrimleads young athletes to new
mage thus far has shown the
heights of achievement.
Danes marked improvement.
t h e offense is built around att a c k m e n S t e v e Schuus,
Few athletic events known to
Massapequa, New York, Terry
man require such a combination
Brady, Levitown, New York and
of skills as does lacrosse.
Larry Rabinowitzl Irondequoit,
New York. In the midfield thus
far Arnie Will, Pete Connor,
Dennis Walsh, Tom Cerra and
freshman Jay Kianka have been
turning in stellar performances.
The Great Danes offense is of the
pass and cut variety, depending
heavily on each and every man's
ability to handle his stick.
Defensively Bob Wulkiewicz,
senior goal tender has shown
marked improvement which
should strengthen the team. On
the close defense veterans Bill
.lonat and Roland Levie arc expected to stabilize 3 freshman
hopefuls, David Ahonen, Joe
Mullin and standout Geneva
High School defcnscman Jim
Povero.
The varsity and junior varsity
lacrosse teams have been working diligently outside since midFebruary and are anxiously
looking forward to their opening
contests, good weather and
successful seasons. Home contests will be played on the varsity
soccer field.
he won his heat in the College
Pacing Championships.
It ws al! part of College Mixer
Night but it seemed like allot'the
students there,
were from
Albany State. Two bus loads
from the harness racing club, including this reporter who didn't
know much about harness racing, made the hour long trip to
cheer Artie on. They also hoped
to make a little money at the bet-
It might have been snowy Saturday night but It didn't stop Albany Stale harnessracingfins from making
the trip up to (irern Mountain Rice Track to watchfellowstudent Artie Finkelberg rsce. Artie (shown
driving to the finish) did not disappoint, as he drove his horse to • three-quarter length victory.
The lacrosse learn In action last vear. The stickmen open up
their season Saturday at Brockport.
ting windows.
Artie's race came after the first
regular race. I was feeling pretty
good, as my place bet in the first
race came in for a 4.20 return.
Most of the harness racing club
and Artie's friends were crowded
around the finish line, waiting
lor the race to start.
Artie was in the fourth or last
position and as he came around
the first time, he was last. But he
would come on. He crossed over
to the rail, before the turn, to
park driver three, who had the
best horse in the race. Artie was
still last going into the
backstretch.
Along the
buckstrctch, horse one and two
came off the rail and Mr.
Finkelberg took his horse and
boldly squeezed through, along
the rail,lo take the lead he was
not to relinquish. The harness
racing club was in hysterics.
Artie had a two length lead at
the top of the stretch but driver
three was coming on. Artie
maintained this lead, as he gave
the horse the whip and held off
three at the wire for the victory.
Alter crossing the finish line, Artie waved his whip in triumph
and perhaps in relief that the race
was over.
The response from the harness
racing club was incredible as
everyone was going crazy. After
Artie returned to the winner's
circle he was met by his parents
and a mob of admiring fans,
fiwmteii
Vol. LXI No. I t
APRIL 19,1974
Students Grade Profs Next Week
-.III « » t u l
In
clubs. Volunteers are still needed to
by Nancy Albsugh
Members of ACT stressed that the
- Students will be aksed next week • evaluations will be used for student administer questionnaires, however.
"
A teacher has the option of refusto evaluate their courses and information only: but. a recent
ing
to
be
evaluated,
but
most
have
teachers as the students, running report of President Benczet's Ad
Assessment of Courses and Teachers Hoc Advisory Committee on Tenure agreed to the questionnaire, which
(ACT) begin collecting information suggested that evaluations for tenure will take approximately 20 minutes
which will result in a ISO page should be conducted by students, in- of the class time.
teachers were notified of the
booklet to be available mid-summer. stead of the departments as they are
Mark Grccnbcrg, one of the now. This is only a report, however. questionnaire by Gerber and
Abramoff in late March, as the two
organizers said, "We'll have totally
Twenty questions ranging from
subjective values given in an objec- the lecturing ability of the teacher to solicited comments about the
questions. However, response was
tive form."
the teacher's encouragement of stuThe purpose of the booklet is to dent ideas arc asked in the question- light, though the comments that did
give students an idea ol class reac- naire written by Bill Rchluss. and come in were considered. They said
parts of the questionnaire were
tions to faculty and courses. Ex- based on models from Harpur, Corchanged lo incorporate those ideas.
plained David AhramolT, who heads nell. Stony Brook and other schools.
One big stumbling block was getACT, "For years I've been looking in
The booklet will include each ting lists of the classes, enrollment.
the computer listings and names I student's response rated from A teachers, and call numbers—all of
don't know. Basically, I'd like to through D on some questions , A them in one comprehensive form.
know something about the person through E on others. Questions will Finally, the Registrar made his comT h e While Roots of Peace" will be at this year's Earth Week program
also be averaged on a weighted basis. puter tapes available lo the group.
whose course I'm taking."
Opponents of the evaluation say it They then had to compile packets lor
is "just another form." hinting it will each class.
he useless if not harmful.
Others say students arc not
AC I members said although
qualified to evaluate teachers. Still courses change Irom semester to
others Iccl a standard form for alp
tivities
will
take
place
all
day
at
the
semester, students should he able to
the Environmental Protection Adby Mike Sena
departments is meaningless.
ministration of New York City. He Campus Center.
garner a general impression of how
Martin Schneider's "Ecology's
But workers answer these charges
Another
panel
discussion,
this
one
will speak here Monday. April 22. at
other students react to a particular
Batman", according to the New Mill P.M., in I.C-7.
on local environmental and energy saying perhaps someday this stan- teacher or course by looking at
York Tiini'H inventor of the Land Earth Week begins on Sal.. April problems and solutions will be held dardized form will be used in concurrent evaluations.
Rover which flys, climbs up walls, 20 at Mil) AM with a bike clinic In al Diaper Hall, on Thursday night at junction with a shorter depart mental
Tlie booklets will be distributed
stays submerged under water, and is the Stale Quad Flagroom. The pre- Mill I'M. Members will include: form. Rchluss said "It's general
run on methane from dog refuse, will Earlh Week clinic will demonstrate Mayor Eraslus Corning; James enough lo hit everyone, but specific free of charge lo the faculty
members, administration, and the
highlight this year's Earth Week ac- simple repairs and maintenance for Biggnpo, Commissioner of the enough to mean somcthin."
Abraninlf. a Junior here, con- student volunteers. About 3200
tivities. Earth Week will run Irom your bicycle. Following this, there Department of Environmental Concopies will he sold for 25c lo students
April 22-2K.
will he a bike ride to a picnic area in servation; Thomas Browne, Iacted Steve Gerber, SA President in al summer planning conferences,
Emergency
Fuel
Office;
and
others.
September,
asking
Gerber
lo
conSchneider, a re known the I'incbush al I2:.10 AM.
President Benczel will he on hand, sider his proposal for student evalua- and those at Drop-Add in the gym
photographer, will discuss solutions
Monday night Martin Schneider
next tall, flic computer lapc will be
that according to him could end speaks. On Tuesday. April 23 at 8:00 an Elle I'ankin of WCiY Radio will tion of teachers. Gerber strongly saved so a second printing can be
he the moderator. Commissioner supported the idea; he had been
pollution.
I'M there will he a panel discussion
made, if needed.
Schneider's notoriety in the pollu- on the energy crisis in the I'AC liiggiine will present a proclamation thinking of the same idea as a new
Abiuiiiolf thinks full evaluation of
tion and ecology field came as a Recital Hall. Members include: from Governor Wilson officially development for students. Gerher all courses and teachers will not he
declaring
this
week
as
Earth
Week.
said.
"Ahramofl
has
done
an
amazresult nl an investigation he did into Waller Kress of Shell Oil Co.;
necessary each semester, Rather, he
Photographic essays of 1926 war ing hob. from A-Z."
alleged dangerous waste elimination Henry Hurwllz, physicist at General
would like lo sec a booklet eon'atrocities
will
he
pail
of
a
seminar
Abramoff asked for funds from
processes lit Florida phosphate Electric; Edward Rcnshaw.SUNYA
Willing the "vital statistics" for each
plants.
professor of political economy; conducted by Schneider on Friday, Central Council; Gerber promised to course: hook requirements, number
Near Tampa. Florida the Donald Ross, director of NYl'IRCi; April 26. I he essay, entitled "Expose help them get the required money. of tests and exams, teacher's ideas
I hey got $5,00(1 from Council to pay
phosphate industry plants blow both and Sam Love, an environmentulism of Censored Material," will be in
lor paper lor the 5,000 question- about the course, the department's
sulfuric and hydrochloric acids out author. Model at ing the panel will be I.C-23 at 8:01) I'M.
idea about the course, and adSaturday. April 27. at 11:00 AM naires, and rental lees for the Unlvnc ditional costs lor the student taking
ol smokestacks into the atmosphere, Jim Williams of Channel Six News.
Computers
which
willcompllc
the
there
will
ben
paper
drive
outside
the
according lo Schneider. He said
A group of 13 Mohawk Indians,
I lie course (the lah Ices, art supplies,
these acids strip the painl off cars, called " I hcWhilc Roots of Peace," campus center. At 8:00 I'M there will data alter all finals arc graded in
lor example.I
be
a
lolk
and
square
dance
featuring
cause emphascma and ulceration of will conduct seminars, craft fairs,
Mav.
" I lie whole thing is to help us." exGail
Weiss
has
organized
ahoui
the throat, kill many thousands of movies, stage an afternoon meet the lennig's All Star Siring Band at the
plained Abramoff. T o know just
150 students to administer the
cattle, and is wiping out the citrus press session and an evening pow- second floor gym.
Earth Week concludes on Sunday. questionnaire to the 1150 classes. the name and number when youi
growers in the area.
wow on Wednesday, April 24. The
whole life is al slake is just crazy."
lo dramatize the situation, Mohawk Indians hope lo build April 28 with a walk for ecology. The About 850 of these classes will he
Schneider brought some carcasses of bridges between the Indian nation 18 mile walk starts and ends at the covered by SA funded departmental
liutopsicd cows to a Mobil-owned and the While nation. These ac- New Albany High School.
phosphate plant, fuming on his
lluioscopc
which detects
hydrochloric acid, Schneider proved
thai their deaths were due to the
phosphate emissions. He started
snapping away when Mobil plant
campuses still lacking am guidelines
were using student monies as auxguards sprang up claiming lo he
legislative interference.
prohibiting student Ices continues
iliary
lands
in
the
operation
of
the
by
Boh
Mayer
sheriffs. Schneider said he told them
Ihe first official policy on the
collection.
campus
administration.
Ihe
report
he was taking fashion photographs. SASH
collection of student fees was \sAs more students begun lo realize
flic continuing controversy over lublishcd by the Slate Board of said some FSAs purchased land with
Seeing thai he would not he believed,
there were no existing laws within
Schnedicr dashed to his Rover to es- mandatory student fees is as alive to- I ruslees on November of l%7. The the student tax funds; in one in- University governance mandating
day as il was years ago. The New guidelines approved officially the stance, a campus president used
cape.
collection of fees, university officials
I he next day Schneider sent the York Slate Legislature is now con- university's sanction for collecting Kinds to pay for his own inaugura- started to explore the policy. On
iiou. I he audit charged that several
sidering
a
range
of
bills
that
could
u
pictures out lo Hit magazine, but
voluntary lees.
I leans of Students knew thai prior lo May , l%8. the I rustces establishUntil the November decision was
they never got there. He thinks they have a crippling effect on student acl%K there was a voluntary, not man- ed the existing guidelines governing
liviiies
at
stale-supported
campuses
outlined, most students believed lees
never left the Air Express office.
datory policy on student fees, yet the collection and distribution
were mandatory. Collected by camSchneider tried lo recreate the pic- il passed and approved.
process currently found on all
Recently it cartoon appearing in pus Faculty Student Associations, they tailed to inform anyone.
tures, but again they disappeared.
Alter the Controller's report was SONY campuses. Ihe guidelines
City College of New York Ihe fees appeared on student bills
Finally, Schneider finished his
newspaper re-ignited Ihe old fires each semester. Hie FSAs then released, a group of Albany students called fin ihe individual campuses to
series. Lift published his
questioned Ihe legilaniacy of their conduct a referendum every four
with lawmakers, flic cartoon,
photographs on the polluted at- described by several legislators lis deposited these funds in their own lees being used to support religious years on whether collection of fees
mosphere bin censored his pictures "vulgar", "outrageous", and "in accounts in order to exempt these organizations on campus, When would be voluntary or mandatory. It
on the dead cows. I lie emotional im- terrible lasle" catalyzed a bill spon- funds from regular stale accounting campus SA Presidents requested a limited use of funds lo four broad
pact of the series was greatly reduc- sored by Rep-Con Senator John procedure. Il was believed these fees legal opinion, students were sur- categories: recreational, social,
ed, according to A.I) Coleman, Marchi which would prohibit any were going lo be used exclusively for prised to learn from the counsel that cultural, and educational. All
photography expert of the New student newspaper on a slate campus student governments and extra- "these student Ices are not mandated responsibility for fees would be in
curricular student activities on the
Ynik Timtx.
from receiving financial uid from individual campuses. An audit by by the Board of Trustees, and the the hands of students. The only
stipulation was that the Chancellor
On top of this, L{fe replaced student taxes.
the Suite Controller issued in l%6 stale could not force students lo pay would establish a ceiling on how
Schneider's own powerful text, with
these fees." Ihe following semester a
The history of mandatory student suggested this was not occuring.
voluntury collection was established high tuxes could go. A figure of S70
their own deleted, toned down ver- activity fees is a relatively short one,
The report noted that at various
com. imp. 12
yet it is filled with a long background institutions, local campus presidents at SUNY-Alhany, but the other
sion.
Schneider is a consultant to both of politics, legal maneuvers, and
the U.S. Public Health Service and
*!
"Ecology's Batman" Leads Earth
Week Activities April 22-28
SVNYA Student Wins at Green Mountain
by Bruce R. Maggln
There was joy at Green Mountain Race Track Saturday night
as Albany State student, Artie
Finkelberg, made his harness
racing debut a successful one, as
University ol New York at Albany
Artie, completely covered with
mud from the track but certainly
jubilant, talked after the race. "It
was a two horse race,..when it
came to the stretch, I realized I
had a shot and 1 gave it the
whip." Naturally Artie was a bit
nervous, especially alter his
horse acted up in the paddock
but he got through his first test
on what he hopes will be a long
career.
It was now back to the
business ol ma king some money.
I was still having problems
reading the charts but I was
listening to the so called experts
around me. By the end of the
evening
most-, of these "experts" came out behind. 1 was
was willing to bet conservatively,
sticking to the places and shows.
Races three and four put me
behind as the words of wisdom of
my friends proved to be
something less than that.
But I was catching on and by
the end of race sixth, I was
ahead. There were a few more
winners and losers along the
way, and by the end of the evening I was definitely smarter than
when 1 entered.
My suspicions that it is pretty
difficult to make money at the
track were confirmed. It didn't
seem to matter whether you
knew what you were doing, as
some of the big winners were
pretty inexperienced.
I also
learned never to bet a provisional
driver, coming out of the ninth
position.
It was quite an enjoyable evening and the I made a big dollar
sixty; but don't tell the IRS.
Mandatory Student Tax Threat Continues