HOW TO APOLOGIZE THE RIGHT WAY: AN
APOLOGY ACTUALLY HAS THREE PARTS
Molly Fitzpatrick
We aren’t robots with a 100% accuracy rate. We are humans. We are fallible. Even the most organized and
efficient employee messes up from time to time and disrupts the workflow. Whether that mistake is ours as an
individual, involves our team, or reflects on the whole company, an apology is in order.
Sometimes, the simple words “I’m sorry” are enough. But usually, we need something that goes a bit further. A
real apology actually has three parts, and goes like this:
“I’m sorry; this is what I did; and this is what I am doing to correct it.”
Sounds like a no-brainer, right? It should be, but I’m often surprised by the people’s struggles with delivering
apologies, and I don’t think I am the only one.
“I’M SORRY.”
In the heat of conflict, an apology has a way of disarming the recipient. It breaks into the mental chatter of
assumptions such as, “He doesn’t care!” or “They don’t value my business.”
A genuine and sincere apology doesn’t mean you are unintelligent or weak. In fact, it shows just the opposite. An
apology proves that you are competent enough to see your error and strong enough to own up to it. It lets people
know you care that you upset or inconvenienced them in some way, shape, or form.
Apologies also strengthen relationships. When a manager apologizes to an employee, it helps level the hierarchy
for a moment, giving the employee a glimpse of the human side of their boss. When a company apologizes to a
customer, it demonstrates honesty and trust, respect and value.
“THIS IS WHAT I DID.”
As Benjamin Franklin said, “Do not ruin an apology with an excuse.” Own your fault. Avoid the “fluffy” apology and
the defensive posture. Saying, “I’m sorry, but … but … but …!” is irritating to the recipient and gets you nowhere
fast.
Don’t give people the run around. It is manipulative, disrespectful, and degrading. Make a clear and precise
admission of where you were at fault, and accept responsibility for your shortcomings.
“THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING TO CORRECT IT.”
The most important and often missed part of a real apology is the solution. The solution is where you should focus
your energy! There is no point in dwelling on the past. Instead, ask yourself questions like “How can I fix this issue
for the customer as quickly as possible and restore their faith in our work?” or “How can I improve on my skills to
avoid this situation from happening again?”
Sometimes the solution is as simple as attaching a file you forgot in an email. Sometimes it is more complicated,
such as readjusting or reevaluating business values or programs. Regardless, be proactive with an appropriate
solution. Maybe at the moment your only solution is that you will look into the matter, but by all means, do not
leave a customer, co-worker, or employee hanging. The solution enables you to close the situation to the best of
your ability on a positive note.
Companies are continually presented with problems. Some are one-offs while others define negative patterns. In
both cases, errors mean there is still room for growth. Growth is inevitable and we must not stay stagnant. Taking
the right perspective and approach to a blunder on your or your company’s part will get you further with people
than you think!
Source: http://www.forbes.com/sites/sungardas/2014/03/13/how-to-apologize-the-right-way-an-apologyactually-has-three-parts/#17288cea3ec7