Growing through loss assembly resource
Stage
Second and third levels (late primary and early secondary).
Rationale
This outline for a whole school/group/class assembly aims to
help pupils mature through the difficult but universal
experience of loss. Losing someone through death or
separation can be a challenging time for any of us. It will come
to all of us at some time or another and so adequate
preparation will always prove beneficial for pupils whether or
not they have experienced loss first-hand.
Leaders should be sensitive to pupils and staff who are dealing
with situations of loss. Loss is common to all of us, including
leaders, and can be hurtful and draining. Loss is usually
considered to be bereavement but can also grow out of family
separation, break-up or separation caused by parents working
long hours. Loss of friends is seen as part of growing up by
adults but for children or young people this can often be
traumatic - especially if they have been 'dropped' by a friend.
Before the assembly take time to reflect on your own
experiences of loss and how you have dealt with it. You may
wish to talk to a chaplain or support worker. When leading this
session, adapt it to the needs of your young people. For
example, use discussion if the group would respond but give a
straight talk if discussion would be diverted by insensitive
comments or by lack of confidence among the group.
Remember, just because nothing is said does not mean that
nothing is being thought so allow silence. This is especially
true for such a sensitive subject.
Resources

Recording of the song 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables'
from 'Les Miserables', and CD player

Laptop, projector and PowerPoint presentation of
restful images or an object for central focus like a large
candle, bowl of water or pile of small stones

Bean bags

Pens and paper

Coloured ribbons
Duration
Approximately 30 minutes
Reflection
Guided reflection
The ADAM stages (available in the download materials) can all
be used at one time or built into response later in the week or
term.
Personal reflection
In a class setting, set aside time at the end of the week to
review this assembly. Often the issues raised around loss take
a while to surface. Give pupils a time for silence, and in a
whole school setting, arrange for counsellors or chaplains to
be available at times made known to the pupils
Possible activities




Descriptive writing about experiences of striving to
understand situations or concepts or people.
Set up a memory box where people could put objects
that remind them of a loved one.
Developing strategies to understand class
subjects/topics more fully.
Discussion (for example in PSE class) about social
supports for understanding each other.
Growing through loss running order and script
This outline for a whole school/group/class assembly aims to help pupils mature through
the difficult but universal experience of loss. Losing someone through death or
separation can be a challenging time for any of us and adequate preparation will always
prove beneficial for pupils.
Depending on the space available and the nature of the group, attempt to create a
restful and safe space. This would include restful music, lowered lights and/or candles,
incense sticks and a central image or object. If seated in a circle, an object would be
best (large candle, pile of small stones, bowl of water) but in a larger assembly a simple
PowerPoint of images (trees, rivers, faces) is best. The track 'Empty Chairs at Empty
Tables' from Les Miserables is three minutes long. You may choose to use part or all of
it.
Assembly running order
Running
time
Pre-event
setup
Minutes
Arrival
5
0-2
2
3-5
3
6-12
13 -17
Activity
10
Encourage
pupils to sit and
watch images
or object
Introduction
Staff
Resources
Assembly leader
CD player
and CD or
laptop,
projector and
presentation
or candle or
other object
for focus
Facilitator
Guided
reflection
script
CD and CD
player
Facilitator/technical
support
7
Listen to
‘Empty chairs
at empty
tables’
A is for Anger
5
D is for Denial
Facilitator
Assistant
Script, bean
bags
Script, paper
and pens
18-22
5
23 - 27
5
A is for
Acceptance
M is for Moving
on
Facilitator
Script
Assistants at door
or groups
Script,
coloured
ribbons
Guided reflection script
Introduction
‘The man in this song has been to war. He was young and enthusiastic and he and all his
friends joined up. They used to meet in this cafe before the war, laughing and joking
about what they would do. Sadly, he is the only one to come back alive. When you listen
to his song about loss it may make you think of other people you have lost - family or
friends, separated from you or dead - for loss is part of all our lives.’
Listen to the song, 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables'.
ADAM
A is for Anger
'Often we get angry that a person has died, or left us or dropped us. Expressing this
anger without hurting others is an important stage.'
Use volunteers or let everyone take part, depending on numbers. Give the person a bean
bag and let them throw it at the wall, thinking about loss and how it has made them
angry. Encourage them to throw it hard, to express their anger.
D is for Denial
If it is a small group hand out pens and paper; if large then let people think.
'Many of us pretend we are not hurt by loss. Denial does not deal with the issue: if
memories are just pushed down they will pop back up - just like trying to hold down an
inflatable in the pool. Take time now to write/think about a good memory of the person
you have lost.'
A is for Acceptance
'Rest your hands in your lap. Breathe slowly... in... out... in...out. Make your hands into
a fist and hold on to a memory of the person you are thinking about. Slowly, open your
hands and say to yourself, 'I let you go, I let you go.''
M is for moving on
'As you have thought about letting go, now we move on. You may choose to remember
something you loved about that person and do the same yourself - be kind when it is
difficult, stand up for what is right. Or you may decide to forgive that person for how
they hurt you. If you want to move on and take on something good, choose a red ribbon
to wear. If you want to forgive, choose a blue ribbon.'
Depending on the group size ribbons can be placed in the middle of the circle or chosen
as people walk out the assembly hall.