The sun rises as the feeling of restlessness settled in his head. Joseph
hadn’t slept much since the incident, ‘insomnia acting up again’, he
would say. Even though he knew that wasn’t the case.
He sat up in his king-sized bed. There was not much use in the old bed
now, seeing as only half of it was used, yet Joseph couldn’t bring himself
to throw it out – not yet. Her scent was still prominent on the pillows, in
the sheets.
Joseph rubbed his tired eyes and he began to question his insomnia, he
would maybe visit the pharmacy later for some pills.
Although he knew nothing could cure a guilty conscience.
“Good Morning,” he yawned, trudging his way across the room.
“I couldn’t sleep again…I’m thinking about getting those emm…sleeping
pills.” He spoke to the jar resting on his drawers.
As he spoke, Joseph imagined her standing there. Her dark hair that
used to flow down her back elegantly as she would nod and listen to him
intently.
As he did every morning, Joseph lit the tea light beside the jar, making
sure her picture wasn’t in the way of the open flame. He stared at the
picture and asked himself the awful recurring question, “Why?”
Why had she done it? If anyone was to blame it was her, right? If she
hadn’t made such awful mistakes then he wouldn’t have had to take
action, right? Denial. That’s what they call it. Joseph didn’t believe in
any of that nonsense.
He placed the picture of his beloved back where it came from alongside
the other photos he had displayed, the jar and the tea light also sitting
close by.
Taking a heavy, exasperated sigh, Joseph took slow steps to his mirror
that stood lonely in the corner of his bedroom. He stared closely at his
own reflection in the dusty mirror. His once black hair, was now coming
through grey, showing that age was beginning to take hold on him. His
striped pyjamas were now old and wrinkled. He hadn’t bothered ironing
them.
When they passed him in the street they would whisper to one another,
furiously. They knew Joseph was there when it happened he was the
hot topic of the elderly ladies bingo club for weeks. Joseph knew this of
course, the gossip was most inevitable in this village, especially after
what happened He knew there would be stories lies rumours spread
They thought that her untimely departure, as they called it, was due to
a slip in the kitchen and a broken neck.
Although Joseph, he knew differently.
He knew that as he stood staring into the mirror, what stood before him
was not a middle-aged man that suffered insomnia and a sore hip.
He stood before a monster and a liar, but most importantly
A murderer.