A few questions for
Mary Thomas
The job—and it is a job—of spouse of a university president is one
of those demanding, high-profile, but poorly defined vocations
for which no one ever actually applies.
When Ron Thomas became president of the University of
Puget Sound in 2003, his wife, Mary, admits “first lady” was a
position that took some getting used to. She’d spent the previous
14 years as a dean and faculty member at Trinity College in
Hartford, Conn.
“I’d been wrapped up in my own career for a very long
time,” she says. “When we came here, I had to make some real
adjustments. Some of them sound like such simple things, but
they signified a huge life change for me.”
Her days, which had formerly been scheduled by an assistant
and governed by her BlackBerry, were suddenly less structured.
When people asked what she did, she found herself at a loss
for words. She was working—as most university presidents’
spouses do—to raise money, manage the presidential home, host
social events, and serve on a multitude of volunteer boards, but
she held no formal position, had no job title, and received no
compensation.
“For years, students hadn’t called me anything other than
‘Dean Thomas,’” she says. “When we got here, I had to stop myself
every time someone called me ‘Mrs. Thomas’ or ‘Mary.’ It was
almost like I went through this identity crisis and had to figure
out again who I was.”
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But these days, Mary Thomas knows exactly who she is, and
she seems quite comfortable in her role. She’s a gracious host and
eloquent representative of the university. She’s also a thoughtful,
honest, and intelligent sounding board for her husband.
“I like to think I’m an important part of the team,” she says.
The other Thomas agrees: “‘Team’ is a good way of describing
our relationship,” he says. “We are quite different, and we
complement each other so well. I couldn’t play in this league
without her.”
The daughter of Philippine immigrants, Mary Thomas grew
up in Seattle and attended Holy Names Academy there. A lover
of languages, she headed east to Bryn Mawr in Pennsylvania and
graduated with a bachelor’s degree in classical Greek. She earned
her master’s and doctorate degrees in comparative literature from
Princeton.
She taught at the University of Southern California and
University of California, Santa Cruz, before taking her first
administration position in 1982, coordinating Stanford
University’s Western Culture program. In 1989 she left California
for a deanship at Trinity.
Arches writer Mary Boone recently sat down with Mary
Thomas to ask her what it’s like being back on the West Coast
and how she feels about being a part of Puget Sound’s “Team
Thomas.”
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Arches: Tell us how you and Ron met.
MT: We met at Trinity College. I joined the
administration there in 1989, as an associate
dean. He came a year later, and we had our first
date in December of that academic year. Of
course, I thought he was extraordinarily handsome. He was the hip English professor-type,
and the students loved him. Our personalities
just meshed; I feel lucky that we met.
Arches: You and Ron were both administra-
tors at Trinity. Did you ever consider pursuing
a university presidency?
MT: I loved being dean of students, but I had
absolutely no aspirations to become a university president. Ron’s such a great people person
that he’s a much better fit for that role. When
he decided that was a path he wanted to pursue, we talked about the implications it would
have for me. I knew if he realized his dream, it
would be very difficult for me to continue my
career. I was at peace with that. I am at peace
with that. I may not have an official title, but
I know he considers me a valuable part of the
Puget Sound team. We both love this university,
and I do everything I can to support him and
his vision for it.
Arches: What attracted the two of you to
Puget Sound?
MT: There were certain places I knew I
wouldn’t go, parts of the country where I
didn’t want to move. When he told me he had
been recruited for this job, I was as excited as
he was. I told him, “Now, that you can do. I
can live there.”
I don’t remember much about Tacoma
from my youth, but that’s fine because, from
what I understand, Tacoma today is much
different than it was 30 years ago. We really
appreciate the city’s culture and charm and
accessibility. It’s become a really vibrant area.
As far as the university itself goes, I love that
it’s a small school that provides a high-quality,
hand-crafted education. I think the faculty and
staff are outstanding, and I’m proud that, as
small as Puget Sound is, it plays an important
part in the greater Tacoma area.
Arches: You serve on the boards of the
Museum of Glass, Northwest Sinfonietta, and
Tacoma Public Library Foundation. How did
you decide these were the three organizations
to which you wanted to devote your time and
energy?
MT: I didn’t rush into anything. I really
thought about the causes I wanted to support,
and I made my decisions with the realization
that I wasn’t simply representing myself but
rather the university as well.
The Museum of Glass is such a vital part
of the renaissance of the city of Tacoma
that I wanted to be part of that. Northwest
Sinfonietta was founded by [UPS adjunct
music professor] Christophe Chagnard, so that
connection made it a natural. And the library
was an obvious choice because, as a student
and teacher, I hope the book will never be
threatened. I want to do what I can to make
books available to all residents, to make the
library an exciting place to be.
All three boards are really pleasurable, but
I won’t lie: they’ve brought with them a good
deal of work and have forced me to tap into
previously unknown skills. I chaired the search
committee for the new director at the Museum
of Glass; that really intensified my relationship with board members and staff there. On
the other hand, the administrator side of my
personality thrives on discussing processes and
growth strategies.
I believe that’s an obligation we have—to
reach out to students, staff, and faculty, as well
as to like-minded organizations. It’s an obligation, but it’s also a pleasure. Of course, we’ve
only been here three years. I’m not sure this is
a pace we can maintain for the long run. Check
back with me in a couple years and see if I’m
still smiling when I talk about it.
Arches: You’re often spotted attending Puget
Sound athletic events. Is that an obligation?
tor. Any chance you’ll someday take an official
position at Puget Sound?
There were certain places I knew I wouldn’t go, parts of the
country where I didn’t want to move. When he told me he
had been recruited for this job, I was as excited as he was.
I told him, “Now, that you can do. I can live there.”
Arches: Is it possible to get away from the
MT: It’s not like that, really. People are very
demands of Ron’s job?
respectful and protective of our privacy. I can
see the campus from our windows, but I never
feel like we’re on stage. It’s actually a little
secluded. We’ve had a few students knock on
the door and ask to see the house, but I think
that was driven by curiosity rather than the
desire to intrude.
MT: We love to travel, but his schedule doesn’t
when we were at Trinity and Ron was acting
president and I was dean of students. It’s not
unusual for us to spend four of five weeknights
entertaining at the house or attending dinners
in the community.
habits aren’t worth writing about. It may be
surprising to people to learn that I love to cook
and think about food. I have every Gourmet
magazine dating back to 1978. OK, as I say
that, I realize it’s a little strange. Let’s just say I
thoroughly enjoy good food and wine.
Arches: You’re an experienced administra-
right on campus, do you ever feel like you live
in a “glass house?”
MT: It’s busy but not much different than
MT: I’m pretty boring, really. Even my bad
football, because those are sports I really enjoy;
they’re exciting for me. Ron adores athletics,
Arches: Considering your home is located
receptions on behalf of the university. How
demanding is the social aspect of your role as
first lady?
readers be surprised to learn about you? Do
you have vices you’re willing to confess?
MT: I love going to women’s soccer games and
so he drops in on basketball games and swim
meets. We also enjoy the concerts and plays,
but if we went to everything our lives would be
completely consumed. We try to do as much as
we can, and I think people appreciate it when
we show up at those events, but I also think
they understand everyone has limits.
Arches: You attend a lot of dinners and
Arches: What about you? What would our
allow for much of that—unless we can take an
extra day or two for ourselves when he goes to a
meeting. In June we were able to go to Venice to
celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. That
was fabulous.
The two of us love to go to Primo Grill for
dinner; Sea Grill, Asado, and Pacific Grill are
other favorites. If we have a night without an
event and we don’t feel like cooking, those are
the kinds of places we sneak off to.
Arches: Is there anything you can tell us about
President Thomas that we might not know?
MT: No. The person he is in public is the
same person he is behind closed doors. He’s
gregarious, and he absolutely loves meeting
people and hearing their stories.
MT: I think it’s awkward for someone to
work at an institution where their spouse is
president, and I think it would be a conflict for
me to be at another university. I don’t know.
As difficult as it was to adjust to this new life,
I’ve come to love the luxury of setting my own
schedule.
I enjoy the opportunity to co-advise the
university’s Mortar Board chapter. That helps
me stay in touch with students and faculty,
and that’s what I really miss about my former
position.
I’m smart enough to know you should
never say never, but at this point I really don’t
see myself taking on another administrator
position.
Arches: So, is Puget Sound the school from
which you and Ron plan to retire?
MT: We certainly aren’t thinking about retiring
yet; we feel like we’ve only just gotten started
and have a lot more to do. We like to think
we’ll be here as long as we have something to
offer—for many years, we hope. We do love it
here, and we just try to do the best we can every
day to make this the best university it can be.
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