Des Moines Register, IA
06-30-07
Wives use persuasion more, study at ISU shows
Their husbands are likely to give in, then attempt to exert influence, it finds.
By LISA ROSSI
REGISTER AMES BUREAU
At work, women still receive less pay than men, but a new study suggests they
are climbing the power ladder at home.
The Iowa State University research shows that compared to husbands, wives
make more attempts in conversation to persuade their spouses, who are more
likely to agree to their demands.
The study did not follow up with the couples to see whether those conversations
led to action.
An ISU research team - led by David Vogel, associate professor of
psychology, and Megan Murphy, assistant professor of human
development and family studies - interviewed 72 married couples. The
participants were either staff, faculty or students at ISU, so the results don't
necessarily apply to people across all economic or social backgrounds, Vogel
acknowledged.
The examples of wives' influence over husbands played out in videotaped
conversations between the couples about issues in their lives.
"Someone would say, 'I think our house is too messy, it's always too messy,' and
the partner would say, 'I agree,' " Murphy said.
The study was paid for with a $73,000 grant from the National Institute of Mental
Health and $18,000 from ISU.
Previous research has suggested that a society that favors men does so both at
work and at home, where the one who earns more money has the clout to make
the decisions, and the other takes on the bulk of household chores, Vogel said.
"What we found is women were doing more domineering attempts and that the
men were more likely to respond by giving in, then by trying a domineering
attempt or one-up in return," Vogel said Friday.
The results could be explained by the fact that women are socialized to put more
effort into caring for relationships, Vogel said. Also, some studies have shown
that marriages are happier if there's a pattern of women exerting influence, he
said.
The study did not specify on which issues wives exerted the most influence, the
researchers said.
None of the couples was in counseling at the time of the study. The couples told
researchers they were relatively happy in their marriages. The largest group of
those studied were in jobs of equal status.
The research was published in a paper that appeared in May's issue of the
Journal of Counseling Psychology - a professional journal published by the
American Psychological Association.
The study's conclusions were not a surprise to some Iowa couples.
"I'm the quiet one," said Tom Sweeney, 60, of Ames. "I hear women are better at
getting their feelings out."
Sweeney's wife, Connie, also 60, said she recalled watching power dynamics
play out in her home as a child.
There, her mom led the charge with family questions, especially economic ones,
and her father would either agree or disagree.
Connie Sweeney said she also has observed the willingness of women to coach
each other on relationships. For example, that can happen during bridal showers
when guests provide advice.
A few years ago, she and her husband went to a couple's shower, she said.
"They played a game where everyone went around the room and gave advice,"
she said. "I can't remember, quite frankly, if the men said anything."