Changes, Challenges, and Opportunities in
Midlife and Beyond
April 10, 2010
Three Parts:
1. Changes “out there” in our culture
2. Changes in “here,” in body & mind
3. Spirituality – how to meet changes
& challenges “well”
1. Changes “out there”
The extent and pace of change in
modern America are unprecedented
and can cause apprehension.
Areas of change that touch all of us, but
especially aging adults
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Technology changes
Speed and stimulation
Unpredictability in work & finances
Changed social behaviors, especially in the
young
Some examples:
• Who would have believed one needed help to
use a phone?
• ….instructions on how to use a television?
• ….applying for Medicare, or Social Security
with various complexities……
• For some elderly the wired world holds
terror—for some, delight
Effect on us, or the consequences of change:
• Often a sense of loss, even to the point of
fragmentation
• Some changes make us different, make us
more vulnerable and anxious, disoriented,
feeling as if an “outsider.”
Different reactions & different styles –
• Some embrace – new technologies, email
and Facebook
• Some withdraw – easy to become a
curmudgeon and be critical
• Some are mixed – adapt to some changes
and withdraw from others
Some other examples
• Arranging travel online with airline
tickets…..making purchases on line, electronic
banking…..
• We live in a culture where paradoxically
nothing vanishes – music catalogues with films
etc from 1920s – almost every old TV program
and songs from our youth are somehow
available….
Daniel Levinson
2. Changes in body & mind
A. Physical Changes
• Gradual changes in body’s capabilities –
• Benchmarks of change tend to be weight,
height, strength –
• Changes in senses, esp hearing and sight
Physical changes, continued
• Mysterious aches in the body that weren’t
there before
• Things simply don’t work as well – digestion,
sleeping; recovery from physical effort or
normal illnesses or small injuries
• Balance
• Declines in hormone levels
• All the physicians are younger and simply
haven’t been inside an aging body “A
man/woman your age should expect…..”
• More indignities – narcissistic injuries when
looking in the mirror
Discrimination
• We need to be careful not to lapse into
mistaken impressions of old age, because of an
age-centric perspective in which we view our
own age as the most normal of times, the way
life should be.
• (Story of 100 yr-old man)
• Old age is a part of life, another developmental
stage: each stage has its own qualities: the art
of life
Good news
• life expectancy going up –along with quality
of life. For women, 85, men 80
• the elderly are less involved in accidents
• less likely to have infections or digestive
problems or allergies because already
experienced these earlier in life.
But
• But new threats like cancer….arthritis…
hypertension, dementia
• Depression -- because of cumulative losses –
especially of status and sources of esteem
• Some depression can come from all the drugs
we increasingly take—if they are not
coordinated properly
B. Mental Changes
• Mental filters don’t screen out distractions or
anxiety as well (in part because of those
declines in estrogen and testosterone)
• Memory – the need for rituals so we don’t lose
stuff, such as keys in the same place.
• “What did I come in here for?”
Intellectual functioning
• No uniform patterns in aging minds –
• Some cognitive decline by 67 but then
intellectual functioning seems to level off
• Clearly it is never too late to learn. Our
brains can indeed grow new neurons, new
connections.
Mental functioning
• Fluid intelligence (ability to deal with new
problems and situations) –some loss of
flexibility here
versus
• Crystallized intelligence (store information)––
increases here. We know a lot.
Think of your grandparents
• They were old! But what is old?
• I often ask myself: “Did they do this? When
did they do it?”
• Don’t judge others on the basis of what you
think you know –one story of 93-yr-old
woman
If we are healthy…..
• All the pluses of this stage of life – our
accumulated wisdom, and we know our life
story
• If we are fortunate and have sufficient money
so as to live comfortably, and if we can do
good things for others….
A lot of good news
• Researchers find the brain is capable of
creating new connections and new neurons all
through life…
• In spite of some deterioration in working
memory and decline in ability to do math
problems quickly….
• My experience with poetry: use that memory
or lose it.
Elderly are interesting
• Personalities become more vivid because
aging people become more of who they
already are….—more outgoing, self-confident
and warm with age…..We really have learned
a lot about life, people, suffering….
But
• The Federal Government, for every $7 spent
on the elderly, only spends $1 for children…..
• We have received much – how can we be more
generative, more attentive to the next
generation?
3. Spirituality
• Claim – or re-claim -- our religion
• I can’t “do” someone else’s religion
• We have lived a long time and we know a
lot about the demands and complexities
of life
In order to continue to be vigorous and healthy…
• Be engaged with others, socially involved
• Be active, mentally and physically
• But be careful: a lot of TV watching is not
good – too passive and sedentary
Change our minds – or ways of thinking about
aging…
• To a way of viewing late life NOT as a time of
decline,
• But a time of potential for change, growth,
new experiences
• An acquaintance told me how much she has
expanded and opened up during her 60s and
early 70s—unanticipated joys
Mixed messages from the culture
• Norms and rules are less restrictive –the world
of advertising is showing more “grey heads,”
but also many youths
• The real “enemy” is our own fears, lack of
positive images and models, old habits…..
• My wife and my pact: no complaining, no
being the curmudgeon
• Find the positive
• No criticizing the next generation – OK,
so they do things DIFFERENTLY; it’s
not better or worse, just different….
• ….but they live in a different world
• Keep my mind open. Adapt. Be flexible.
These are signs of health
• Try some new things – take risks
• Follow one’s curiosity
• Find time for quiet and reflection –
especially now with a rise in busy-ness
and multi-tasking.
• What research is finding
• Those old clichés are truer than ever:
– Live each day
– Stay focused on the here and now
– Get the most our of each day, each experience
• And if we do this--
• We will be ready for death.
• We will have lived our life. We will have
had a life.
• (Most elderly say they are not afraid of
death; death-terror seems to be a fear of
the young)
• Subjective well-being, social relating,
meaningful engagement, participating in
productive activities – all of this is very
helpful for health and longer life
• Japanese studies confirm this as Japan is
rapidly aging -- about 20% of population
over 65 now and 25% in another 5
years…..
• Ikigai – a beautify Japanese word trying
to summarize a positive sense of self in
the world
• Mary Oliver – Cape Cod poet asks:
“What is it that you plan to do with your
one wild and precious life?”
• Think about it and
• Start now.