Geraldine Pesacreta
Middle School Teacher gpesacreta@hillcenter.org
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© Copyright 2015, The Hill Center, Inc.

• Students are guided from their notes through the editing/revising process; rubrics score the final product.
• Students practice strategies with sentence drills prior to applying them to composition; rubrics identify components of mature writing but not a means to revise.
• Student writing is guided from simple to mature. It is easier to embellish simple writing than revise wordy, unorganized, run-on sentences.
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Three sentence structures
– Simple – All subjects complete the same actions
– Compound – Two sentences; different subject(s) complete different actions
– Complex – Dependent clause + simple sentence
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© Copyright 2015, The Hill Center, Inc .

© Copyright 2015, The Hill Center, Inc.

© Copyright 2015, The Hill Center, Inc.

Start with the structure of a simple sentence.
Subject + Predicate + Detail
Tom rode his bike.
Add how the action was completed.
Tom rode his bike slowly.
Add when the action was completed.
Tom rode his bike slowly after school.
Add where the action was completed.
Tom rode his bike slowly after school down the street.
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Rearrange information chunks within an expanded sentence.
Tom rode his bike slowly after school down the street.
After school Tom rode his bike slowly down the street.
Slowly, Tom rode his bike down the street after school.
Down the street Tom slowly rode his bike after school.
After school Tom slowly rode his bike down the street.
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Marie eats chocolate.
How?
When?
Where?
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It rained at the beach.
Two boys liked playing in the rain.
Simple sentence:
Two boys liked playing on the rainy beach.
Compound sentence:
It rained at the beach, yet the boys enjoyed playing.
Complex sentence:
Even though it rained, two boys liked playing on the beach.
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Transpose a series of short, choppy sentences into one mature sentence.
• The Statue of Liberty was a gift.
• The Statue of Liberty was from France.
• The gift from France was to celebrate
America's one-hundredth anniversary.
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Simple Sentence:
The Statue of Liberty, a gift from France, was given to celebrate
America's 100 th anniversary.
Compound Sentence:
The Statue of Liberty was a gift from France, and it was given to
America to celebrate its 100 th anniversary.
Complex Sentence:
France sent the Statue of Liberty to America when the country celebrated its 100 th anniversary.
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Tom has dirty socks.
Tom throws his socks on the floor.
His socks smell.
Tom does not have any clean socks.
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There are four students in my classroom.
Delete “There are”.
There are four students in my classroom.
Identify the first noun to be the subject.
Four students in my classroom.
Give the subject an action.
Four students study in my classroom.
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Mature writing shows action instead of telling about the action
Avoid “There are sentences”.
Avoid verb phrases when appropriate.
Tom rides his bike. Tom is riding his bike.
Give the subject an action.
Tom arrived home at last . Tom was at home at last.
Change the sentence syntax.
Tom reads a book at home. Tom is at home reading a book.
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Write a sentence using the formula provided as a guide.
Simple Sentence
Prepositional phrase
Simple Subject
Adverb
Compound Predicate in the past tense
During the game Tom energetically cheered his team and hoped for a win.
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English Essay:
“What I Did This Summer”
What I did this summer.
I played ball, and I went to camp
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight….
Nine hundred ninety two words to go.
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Sentence Drills Composition
Follow a 7 th grade student independently organize, revise, and edit using the
Writing Action Plan.
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• Archer
• In the forest
• Target a bull’s eye
• Shooting a target
• Eyes are concentrated
• Needs to get better
• Target on a stump
• Hits a bull’s eye first time
• Arm is stretched
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Action: Type a core paragraph.
First Sentence – Lead/topic sentence
Second Sentence – Simple Sentence (detail)
Third Sentence – Compound Sentence (detail)
Fourth Sentence – Complex Sentence (detail)
Fifth Sentence – Concluding Sentence
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The archer is about to shoot the stump for target practice. The archer has her arm outstretched. Paint shines, and her eye concentrate on getting a bull’s-eye. In the forest she practices archery because she wants to get better. All those weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first try.
( Original writing of 7 th grader)
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Action: Add details about at least three predicates.
The archer is about to shoot the stump for target practice. The archer has her arm outstretched with concentration near her chin . Paint on the target’s edge shines off the snow , and her eye concentrates on getting a bull’s-eye. In the forest she practices archery every morning because she wants to get better. All those weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first try.
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Action: Add descriptors about at least three nouns.
The archer is about to shoot the ancient stump for target practice.
The archer has her arm outstretched with concentration near her chin.
Multicolored paint on the target’s edge shines off the snow, and her eye concentrates on getting a bull’s-eye. In the cold northern forest she practices archery every morning because she wants to get better.
All those weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first try.
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Action: Change simple words to stronger words.
Use the thesaurus.
The archer is about to shoot the ancient stump for target practice. The archer has her arm outstretched with concentration near her chin. Multicolored paint on the target’s edge glints off the snow, and her eye concentrate on getting a bull’s-eye. In the cold northern forest she practices archery every morning because she desires to get better. All those weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first attempt .
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Action: Isolate sentences; add details to be complete
The archer is about to shoot the ancient stump for target practice.
The archer has her arm outstretched with concentration near her chin.
Multicolored paint on the target’s edge glints off the snow, and her eye concentrate on getting a bull’s-eye.
In the cold northern forest she practices archery every morning because she desires to get better.
All those weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first attempt.
© Copyright 2015, The Hill Center, Inc.

The archer shoots the ancient stump for target practice.
Not a muscles flinches as she stands perfectly still . This marksman has her arm outstretched with concentration near her chin. Multicolored paint on the target’s edge glints off the snow, and her eye concentrate s on getting a bull’s-eye. In the cold, northern forest, she practices archery daily because she desires to get better. She must prove her worth, so she can join the League of Spies.
All these weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first attempt.
(Original writing of 7 th grader after applying the Writing Action
Plan prior to teacher conference)
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The archer is about to shoot the stump for target practice. The archer has her arm outstretched. Paint shines, and her eye concentrate on getting a bull’s-eye. In the forest she practices archery because she wants to get better. All those weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first try.
© Copyright 2015, The Hill Center, Inc.
The archer shoots the ancient stump for target practice.
Not a muscles flinches as she stands perfectly still. This marksman has her arm outstretched with concentration near her chin. Multicolored paint on the target’s edge glints off the snow, and her eye concentrates on getting a bull’s-eye. In the cold, northern forest, she practices archery daily because she desires to get better. She must prove her worth, so she can join the League of Spies. All these weeks of training pay off as she hits the bull’s–eye on her first attempt.

• Make sure students have enough information when writing. Often a student’s writing is vague because he/she simply does not have enough facts.
• Provide a purpose for the writing assignment.
– Public reading of part or whole of student writing
– Publish a newsletter with student writing
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