Des Moines Register
10-28-07
Fraternity for gays at ISU works past growing pains
In its three years, the Delta Lambda Phi chapter has flourished in some areas
while also facing struggles like a flap over a campus blood drive.
By FRED LOVE
REGISTER CORRESPONDENT
Ames, Ia. — They've smashed stereotypes. They've endured insults posted on
the Web. And they've made some great new friends.
That is the story of the members of one of Iowa State University's newest
fraternities, Delta Lambda Phi, a group of nine gay men without a house, but
with a sense of purpose.
The ISU Interfraternity Council recognized the chapter as an official colony in
December 2004. It's the only Iowa chapter of the national fraternity and has
established itself as a contributing member of the ISU Greek community,
members and others said.
Delta Lambda Phi welcomes "gay, bisexual and progressive men," according to
its Web site. The chapter's appearance at ISU has stirred debate over the role of
gays in the Greek system and over the role of a fraternity designed to create
support for gay men.
Mark Arant, director of the Salt Company, a Christian student organization in
Ames, said he discourages gay students from seeking support from places like
Delta Lambda Phi, which he said encourage immorality.
"The ideal support that someone who struggles with homosexuality can get is not
support that says, 'Hey, what you're doing is OK,' but rather support that says,
'Let me help you sort of walk through this,' " he said.
A.J. Perdew, Delta Lambda Phi's current president, said the fraternity offers
its members unconditional acceptance and a forum to express anything. He said
that other Greek organizations support gay or bisexual members but that Delta
Lambda Phi is the only fraternity at Iowa State founded for that purpose.
"There's an acceptance to be whatever you are, wherever you are," said Perdew,
originally from Corning. "You're in the majority with us. You don't feel like your
viewpoint is different from the rest of the group."
Perdew, a nursing student at Des Moines Area Community College, plans to
return to Iowa State in 2009 to finish his degree there.
Delta Lambda Phi was founded in 1986 in Washington, D.C., and now includes
more than 30 chapters and colonies from coast to coast, according to the
fraternity's Web site.
Some gays at ISU said they decided to join other fraternities where they might
grow as people while also being part of a minority.
Delta Lambda Phi doesn't have a house, which can be an issue for potential
recruits.
Lucas Sheeler, a freshman from Ankeny, said he considered joining Delta
Lambda Phi but decided instead to become a member of the Phi Kappa Psi
fraternity.
"I like the guys (in Delta Lambda Phi), but I wanted a fraternity with a house - an
experience that's going to help me grow more because I'm going to have to live
with a majority of heterosexual people," he said.
Delta Lambda Phi at ISU started with seven charter members; there are now
nine members.
Warren Blumenfeld, the chapter's faculty adviser and an ISU assistant
professor of curriculum and instruction, said Delta Lambda Phi brothers
share experiences and culture with one another that are not easily understood
outside the fraternity.
"There's a language, a culture, within the gay male community, and we don't
have to translate what that culture is among each other," Blumenfeld said. "This
is probably the only place in many of the fraternity brothers' lives where it's just
assumed who we are and what our culture is about."
Blumenfeld said that the ISU Greek community welcomed the Delta Lambda Phi
chapter but that some gays originally frowned on its creation because they
viewed the Greek system as homophobic.
But the integration of the Delta Lambda Phi chapter over the last two years has
proven that attitude false, he said.
Tom Ingram, an ISU sophomore in aerospace engineering and a member of the
Adelante fraternity, said he hasn't seen signs of discrimination or homophobia in
his fraternity, which he said includes one openly gay man.
"I would say that we're accepting," Ingram said. "I don't hear anyone going
around making any rude comments or anything like that."
Fraternity members contribute to the ISU Greek community, participating in
homecoming week functions and Greek events, Blumenfeld said.
They've also stirred controversy.
The fraternity members found themselves in the middle of a media frenzy in
March during Iowa State's Greek Week, a celebration among fraternities and
sororities that features competitions designed to create a sense of community.
The Greek system historically has awarded incentives, called "points," to
fraternities and sororities whose members participate in a blood drive. But federal
regulations bar men who have had sex with other men since 1977 from donating
blood, prompting Delta Lambda Phi members to ask Greek Week Central, the
event's governing body, for an alternate way to earn points.
Greek Week organizers decided not to award any points for the blood drive,
sparking a backlash against the fraternity from some on campus, Blumenfeld
said.
"There was an undercurrent of homophobia that surfaced during the blood drive,"
he said.
Blumenfeld pointed to online feedback posted on the Web site of the campus
newspaper, the Iowa State Daily.
"Good for the Greek System, you allow a special gay fraternity in and they make
you cave and (can) your long-held traditions," read one anonymous comment
posted on the Web site in response to a March 7 letter to the editor.
Perdew called the experience one of the most trying times the fraternity has
faced.
He said fraternity members felt they were blamed for the decision to stop
awarding points for the blood drive, when all they had done was ask for a
different avenue to earn points.
"We had a meeting that Monday night, and things got heated among the brothers
on how to proceed," he said.
Some in the fraternity wanted to wait until the controversy blew over, while others
wanted to take a more vocal stance.
"That was a very, very tough week for all of us," he said.
Members decided to refer questions from the news media about the incident to
the fraternity's national headquarters.
Delta Lambda Phi erased preconceptions about gays the moment the ISU
chapter was created, said Nathan Bell, a former Delta Lambda Phi member and
vice president of the ISU Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Ally Alliance.
"I think (Delta Lambda Phi) has definitely changed a lot of views in the Greek
community just by being there - just by being present - and showing there are
gay men who want to be a part of fraternities," Bell said.
Former pledge
Sean Fritz, an Iowa State University senior who in September was part of the first
legal same-sex marriage in Iowa, pledged with Delta Lambda Phi in the fall of
2006, fraternity members said, but never became a full member because he was
too busy with school and other commitments.
A Polk County judge struck down Iowa's ban on gay marriage in late August,
allowing Fritz and Timothy McQuillan, also an ISU student, to apply for a
marriage license.
The judge later stayed the ruling pending appeals, shutting the window on other
same-sex couples wanting to apply for marriage licenses.