Note that student work varies significantly from one assignment to... same mark range. The intent behind providing samples such as...

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Note that student work varies significantly from one assignment to the next, even within the
same mark range. The intent behind providing samples such as this one is to guide
students in recognizing key criteria of assignments and in assessing their own work.
SAMPLE ARGUMENT – SATISFACTORY
Topic: To what extent is Lady Macbeth responsible for her own downfall?
Thesis: Lady Macbeth is manipulative until she can control Macbeth no longer, at which
point she spends lots of time alone and dies, which makes her responsible for her own
downfall.
N.B.: This argument would be the first in the body of the complete essay.
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Strengths:
• The quotations are suitable for supporting Lady Macbeth's manipulation of
Macbeth (knowledge).
• The paragraph is focused on the topic (thinking).
• The sentences are clear in meaning (communication).
Tips for Improvement:
• An expansion is needed (knowledge).
• A closing sentence is needed (knowledge).
• The topic sentence needs to be more argumentative. How is Lady Macbeth
motivated to manipulate? (thinking)
• The first quotation needs an explanation (thinking), followed by a transition to the
second example (communication).
• Lead in to quotations (e.g. He says, “…). Avoid writing the quotation as its own
sentence. Integrate (communication).
• Avoid first person in formal writing unless instructed otherwise (communication).
• Stay in present tense (communication).
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Lady Macbeth is manipulative. Lady Macbeth receives a letter from Macbeth
stating that he met three witches who told him of a prophecy that would make him King.
She immediately greeted and flatters him. “Great Glamis! Worthy Cawdor! / Greater than
both, by the all-hail hereafter!”(1.5.53-4) Lady Macbeth’s evil character shows itself as
Macbeth tries to back out of killing King Duncan. Lady Macbeth does not support her
husband's thoughts and feelings. She tried to insult her husband’s masculinity. “When
you durst do it, then you were a man” (1.7.49). We see that this action showed how
manipulative she is. She knows how proud Macbeth is for becoming the Thane of
Cawdor, so she takes away his male pride so that he will have to kill the King if he wants
to gain it back.
Work Cited
Shakespeare, William. Macbeth. Toronto: Oxford University Press, 1999. Print.
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