Note that student work varies significantly from one assignment to the next, even within the same
mark range. The intent behind providing samples such as this one is to guide students in
recognizing key criteria of assignments and in assessing their own work.
SAMPLE INTRODUCTION – EXCELLENT
Topic: To what extent is Lady Macbeth responsible for her own downfall?
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Strengths:
• The thesis statement is comprehensive and outlines a sound progression that considers the
play as a whole (thinking).
• The progression from general to specific is most evident (application).
• Your vocabulary and sentence structure are rather advanced (communication).
Tips for Improvement:
• While the structure of the introduction is in place, another element that could add a
connection to the play would be a capture quotation, perhaps the "poisoned chalice"
passage from Act One, Scene 7 (application).
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In relationships, people often influence each other in negative ways. Where motives are
selfish, people lose sight of each other's interests to the point that intimate relationships may be
ruined. This process is particularly damaging when people rashly pursue power to the point of
isolating themselves. In the play, Macbeth, by William Shakespeare, the consequences of the
unbridled pursuit of power are devastating to many characters, but particularly Lady Macbeth, who
not only loses her life, but the respect of the Scottish people. She initially presents herself in the
play as having tremendous influence, considering that Macbeth, the mighty warrior, is a mere
subject to her desires. Lady Macbeth's commanding presence starts a cycle of violence, however,
and she loses control of Macbeth, who becomes consumed by his desire to maintain his reign as
king. As he plans the demise of many Scots, Lady Macbeth is isolated from him and feels guilty
about all the murders, of which she has orchestrated only the first. The cycle that she has started
ends up with her own death, which very few people seem upset about. While Lady Macbeth's
selfishness and lack of positive support for her husband serve as catalysts for Macbeth's ascent to
the crown, achieving the highest rank in Scottish society proves to be costly, as Lady Macbeth loses
her relationship with her husband and is overwhelmed to the extent that she ultimately loses her
sanity and her life.
Work Cited (in Tips for Improvement)
Shakespeare, William. Macbeth. Toronto: Oxford University Press, 1999. Print.