Note that student work varies significantly from one assignment to the next, even within the same
mark range. The intent behind providing samples such as this one is to guide students in
recognizing key criteria of assignments and in assessing their own work.
SAMPLE INTRODUCTION – SATISFACTORY
Topic: To what extent is Lady Macbeth responsible for her own downfall?
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Strengths:
• Your wording is clear throughout (communication).
Tips for Improvement:
• The thesis statement should be adjusted to emphasize the deterioration of the Macbeths'
relationship and Lady Macbeth's responsibility for her downfall (thinking).
• Add general discussion before introducing the play to establish a general to specific
progression throughout the paragraph (application).
• The argument outline is present, but it is too much of a factual summary of the play.
Describe further how Lady Macbeth is motivated and ultimately responsible for her
downfall, and you will have a base for stronger topic sentences for your actual
argumentative paragraphs (application).
• Use more transition words to show the progression from one argument to the next
(communication).
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In the play, Macbeth, by William Shakespeare, the Macbeths destroy many, including
themselves. Lady Macbeth, for example, loses her husband's attention and her life. She has a good
relationship with Macbeth, but this starts to turn when she manipulates Macbeth to murder Duncan.
Macbeth becomes a killing machine and spends less time with his wife. Lady Macbeth goes nuts
and commits suicide. Lady Macbeth is manipulative until she can control Macbeth no longer, at
which point she spends lots of time alone and dies, which makes her responsible for her own
downfall.