Note that student work varies significantly from one assignment to the next, even within
the same mark range. The intent of providing samples such as this one is to guide
students in recognizing key criteria of assignments and in assessing their own work.
SAMPLE INTRODUCTION – GOOD
Essay question: Examine the causes and effects of prejudicial attitudes and beliefs in the
novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.
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Strengths:
• A good thesis statement is present (thinking).
• A progression from general philosophical points to specific aspects of the novel is
evident (application).
• You use transition words well (communication).
Tips for improvement:
• A more consistent focus on the actual values that influence Maycomb citizens is
necessary. Express these values in a word or phrase, such as “narrowly defined
gender roles” or “white supremacy”, along with your mention of “social class”
(application).
• More detail could be offered regarding lessons learned (application).
• The capture quotation should be followed by reference source, along with a
reference on the Works Cited page (application).
• More general discussion is needed before mentioning the novel (application).
• Stay in present tense (communication).
• When explaining a quotation, phrasing such as "This quotation shows" is best to
avoid (communication).
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"Our prejudices are our robbers, they rob us of valuable things in life." This
quotation shows the serious consequences of prejudice in one's life. Prejudice is judging
someone, usually unfavorably, without really knowing who the person is or judging
someone’s negative qualities and disregarding the positive ones. In the novel, To Kill a
Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, prejudice is clearly caused by many different kinds of
human behavior. Throughout the novel, one notices three different kinds of injustice:
gender prejudice shown by the Finches, racial prejudice coming from the Ewells and
social class prejudice illustrated by Alexandra Finch. The prejudices, attitudes and beliefs
about women learned during childhood are difficult to change during adulthood. In turn,
Maycomb's white citizens were prejudiced against blacks because they used the blacks
not only as handy scapegoats but also menial servants to the white people, showing how
white Maycomb society avoided responsibility. In addition, Alexandra Finch prejudged
others based on their social class to make herself feel superior and to prevent social
rejection, therefore showing how people are insecure about their images. Therefore,
prejudice robs Maycomb’s citizens of the ability to change, of the ability to be
responsible for actions, and of the ability to feel accepted in society.
Work Cited*
Unknown. "Our prejudices […]." Quotations Book, n.p., n.d. Web. 9 July 2013.
*This is not a complete Works Cited page for the essay. The purpose of the reference is
to give the source of the capture quotation.