PERSONAL
EFFECTIVENESS
UPMC-KATZ SCHOOL OF BUSINESS – NOVEMBER 2012
HORST ABRAHAM
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CONTENTS
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EQ – Managing Self / Managing Others.
Personal Best.
Values Assessment.
Behavior Shifts.
Skills and Competencies:
 Fierce Conversations
 Case Work – Dealing with difficult situations
 Coaching
 Finding my ‘Edge’.
 Managing Personal Energy.
 Mapping my personal development
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ACCORDING TO THE LATEST RESEARCH
IQ accounts for what percentage of
career success?
a. 50 to 60 percent
b. 35 to 45 percent
c. 23 to 29 percent
d. 15 to 20 percent
Your answer:___________
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THE 5 DIMENSIONS OF
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
THE ABILITY TO MANAGE ONESELF
1. Self-Awareness
• Knowing one’s own internal values, preferences,
styles, and needs, associated with self-confidence
2. Self-Regulation
• Self-control, trustworthiness, adaptability, and
integrity
3. Self-Motivation
• Personal achievement orientation, energy, and an
optimistic inclination toward action
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5 DIMENSIONS OF
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
THE ABILITY TO MANAGE OTHERS
4. Empathy
• Sensitivity to others’ feelings, needs, and
perspectives and the capability to facilitate
others’ success
5. Interpersonal Competence
• The competence to build strong, mutually
reinforcing, life-giving relationships
with others
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PERSONAL BEST
• When you are at your best, …
1. _________________________________________
2. _________________________________________
3. _________________________________________
4. _________________________________________
5. _________________________________________
6. _________________________________________
7. _________________________________________
8. _________________________________________
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CONVERSATIONS:
‘THE WORK HORSE OF A LEADER’’
What gets talked about and how it gets
talked about determines what gets done
and what does not get done.
*Fierce
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Three Transformational Concepts
1. Our careers, our relationships and our lives
succeed or fail one conversation at a time.
2. The conversation is the relationship.
3. All significant conversations are with myself, and
sometimes they involve others.
* Fierce
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7 PRINCIPLES:
1. Master the courage to interrogate reality.
2. Come out from behind yourself, into the
conversations, and make it real.
3. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else.
4. Tackle your toughest challenges today.
5. Obey your instincts.
6. Take responsibility for your emotional
wake.
7. Let silence do the heavy lifting.
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Conflict Conversations Target Chart:
__________________________________________________________________________
Name
Topic/Issue:
Ideal Outcome:
• ____________ _____________ _________________
• ____________ _____________ _________________
• ____________ _____________ _________________
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PREPARE FOR A 60 SEC.
CONFRONTATION CONVERSATION:
1. Name the Issue.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Give 2-3 specific examples of the behavior in question.
Describe how you feel about the situation.
Explain what is at stake for you, the other person, the organization.
Identify how you have contributed to the problem at hand.
Indicate your wish to resolve the problem with the other person.
Invite the other person to respond.
Actively listen, paraphrase, dig for full understanding = Empathy
statements.
9. What have we learned? What else wishes to be said? How can we
move forward from here?
10. Review the agreement and identify a method by which you can
hold each other accountable for the success of the resolution.
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CONFRONTATION WORKSHEET 1:
1. What is the issue: A succinct, one sentence statement of the
problem: (Example) “I want to speak to you about the effect of your
leadership upon our work team”.
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
2. Select one or two specific examples that illustrate the behavior or
situation you want to change: “When you …(describe the action /
behavior)”
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
3. Describe your emotions around this issue: “…….then I feel……”
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
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CONFRONTATION WORKSHEET 2:
4. Clarify what is at Stake: What is at stake for me, you, the team, the
organization?!
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
5. Identify your contribution to this problem: How have I behaved to
influence/produce
the very result I am unhappy about?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
6. Indicate your wish to resolve the problem: State that you wish to resolve this
issue
(restate the issue) and you wish to work with the addressee to make that
possible.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
7. Invite your partner to respond: NOTE : There was no attack, only a clear
statement describing the reality around this particular behavior from your
point of view. Now I really want to hear from you!
8. Identify agreements: Mutual interests and agreements that satisfy both parties
become the basis of a renewed relationship.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
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FIERCE LEARNING SUMMARY
Fierce = passionate, honest, authentic, well intentioned, .
We succeed or fail 1c@t a time.
The conversation is the relationship.
The most important conversations are with myself and…..
State the issue – give example – state emotion – clarify
what is at stake – id your contribution to the issue –
indicate your desire to resolve the issue – invite other
person to respond – reach agreement.
• Name the persons you need to have a fierce
conversation with = Who? When? What? Desired Result?
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SELF-AWARENESS & SELF-DISCLOSURE
“In order to know oneself, no amount of
introspection or self-examination will suffice.
You can analyze yourself for weeks, or
meditate for months, and you will not get an
inch further—any more than you can smell
your own breath or laugh when you tickle
yourself. Our self-reflection in a mirror does
not tell us what we are like; only our
reflection in other people. We are essentially
social creatures, and our personality resides
in association, not in isolation.”
SOURCE: Harris, in Cameron, 2007
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SUGGESTIONS FOR EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK
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Helpful intention.
No pillows around the issue.
Unambiguous.
Clarify context.
Avoid ‘****’ sandwiches.
Actionable suggestion.
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FEEDBACK EXERCISE: IN WORK GROUPS
In round-robin fashion, each group member receives
feedback for 3-5 minutes:
 What I appreciate about you – be specific.
 The impact of the observed behavior(s).
 One thing that would further increase your professional
effectiveness (do more of/less of).
 Feedback recipient shares what she/he heard
 Q&A to ensure that feedback is understood.
 Feedback recipient declares what action she/he will take
to increase her/his effectiveness.
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FOUR PLAYER MODEL
Key functions in productive relationships, conversations and projects:
Move:
Follow:
Provides Direction, Initiates a course of
action, starts a conversation.
Provides Completion, supports a move / action
Oppose: Provides Correction, Opposes a move or
asks questions.
By-stand: Provides Perspective, paraphrase to ensure
shared understanding & agreement
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4-PLAYER MODEL
Mover
Supporter
Bystander
Opposer
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CASELETTES
TOUGH SITUATIONS YOU ARE FACING
1. First tell, then select a story that depicts
a tough-to-deal-with situation at work.
2. As a team, generate a best solution to
the situation and map out the manner
in which you propose to deal with it.
3. Later, select one person to tell the
story, another to share how you
propose to deal with the situation.
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VALUES ASSESSMENT
Values 1
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
Values 2
________________________
________________________
________________________
________________________
________________________
________________________
________________________
________________________
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HIGH PERFORMANCE TEAM COMMUNICATION
SOURCE: Losada & Heaphy, 2003
Team Performance
High
Medium
Low
Positive Statement Ratio
5.6 to 1
(supportive, encouraging,
appreciation)
1.8 to 1
.36 to 1
Inquiry/Advocacy Ratio
1.1 to 1
(asserting versus questioning)
.67 to 1
.05 to 1
Others/Self Ratio
.94 to 1
(internal versus external focus)
.62 to 1
.03 to 1
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Connectivity Average
32
(mutual influence, assistance)
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PRINCIPLES OF ENERGY
• Full engagement requires drawing on 4 sources of
energy: Physical – Emotional - Mental – Spiritual
• Because energetic capacity diminishes with both
over- and under use, we must balance energy
expenditure with intermittent energy renewal.
• If energy management is left unattended, entropy
will result.
• Positive energy rituals = highly specific routines for
managing energy - are key to full engagement and
sustained performance.
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THE DYNAMICS OF ENERGY
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Angry
Fearful
Anxious
Defensive
Resentful
Low Negative
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Depressed
Exhausted
Burned Out
Hopeless
Defeated
High Positive
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Invigorated
Confident
Challenged
Joyful
Connected
Low Positive
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Relaxed
Mellow
Peaceful
Tranquil
Serene
Positive
Negative
High Negative
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EXERCISE
With a partner, briefly share your answers to the following
questions:
• Think of a time when you were at your very best,
when you contributed an unusual amount of value in
your role as a leader, when you experienced
extraordinary energy in your own life.
• What caused you to feel and perform that way?
• Report how you can/could produce such energy in
your work place (Examples)
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WHAT RESEARCH TELLS US ABOUT POSITIVE
ENERGIZERS
• Those who positively energize others are higher performers
themselves.
• Position in the energy network is 4 x times the predictor of
performance compared to position in the informational or
influence/hierarchy network.
• Positive energizers tend to enhance the work of others.
People who interact with or are connected to energizers
also perform better.
• High performing firms had 3 x times as many positive
energizing networks than low performing firms.
SOURCE: Dr. W. Baker
9 STRATEGIES TO AWAKEN MOTIVATION WHEN DOING
CREATIVE WORK:
Theresa Amabile – Professor Harvard University.
1. FLOW-Test: Which moments produce feelings of ‘Flow’?
2. How was I better today than I was yesterday?
3. Performance Review: “What are my one or two most important goals?
What am I doing to move myself in that direction?
4. 20% Time: Take ___% of your time and dedicate it to work on a project
you really are excited about that will benefit all.
5. Peer-to-Peer rewards.
6. Autonomy Audit: On a scale from 1 (Lo) to 10 (hi) , rate the amount of
autonomy you have about your time, task, team, technique at work.
7. Pronoun Test: What is my/our language? I / we?!
8. Goldilocks: Create a diverse team; Establish a ‘no competition’ zone,
Task shifting; Motivate with purpose, not with rewards,
9. FED-EX Day: chuck the doughnuts, bring on the real challenges /
opportunities.
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COACHING BY ASKING QUESTIONS
1. What is the most important decision you are facing? What is keeping you
from making it?
2. What are you trying to make happen in the next three months?
3. What topics are you hoping I won’t bring up?
4. What area under your responsibility are you most/least satisfied with?
5. What parts of your responsibilities are you avoiding right now?
6. Who are your strongest employees? What is your plan for them?
7. Who are your weakest employees? What is your plan for them?
8. What conversations are you avoiding right now?
9. What do you wish you had more time for?
10. What things are you currently doing you would like to stop doing &
delegate?
11. What is the highest leverage use of your time right now? Are you doing
that?
12. If you were hired to consult your company, what would you advise?
13. If you were competing with your company, what would you do?
14. What threatens your peace? What threatens your personal health?
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EXERCISE #1:
Write a paragraph that describes your
organization a year from now, but focus the
paragraph on the most obvious negatives that
might come/stay in play:
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
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EXERCISE #2:
Write a paragraph that describes your
organization a year from now, but focus the
paragraph on the most obvious positives that
might come/stay in play:
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
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‘FRACTALS’ FOR ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE ARE LIKE
SNOWFLAKES TO AN AVALANCHE
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