Week 3 in the NCMSL saw an old powerhouse once again in first place, while two
other teams are hot on their heels as Week 4 unfolds on Saturday.
Let’s take a look at the week that was in the NCMSL:
8:50 Games
2 DUMC vs. DBC
Dunwoody Methodist 2 showed why they are a solid contender for a trip deep into
post season play as they passed their first test of the year by going on the road and
winning at Dunwoody Baptist, which is their first victory at Baptist Field since 1979.
“The Blackburn Park Heartthrob” Jonathan Cochran was not happy about his
performance in this one as he went only 1 for 5 in the contest.
When asked what he thought of his efforts, Cochran replied, “You guys are really
trying to make ‘The Throb’
look bad today, aren’t you?
Then again, I’ve gotten to a
point in my career where I
am so great, and so good
looking, all my lady admirers
waiting for me in the parking
lot next to my limousine
don’t care if I get one hit, or a
thousand. “
“The Throb” added, “And all
you media chuckleheads out
there, make sure to tell your
wives I said hello, Brotha!”
Apparently, Cochran’s
popularity has sky rocked as
a new book about his life has
just been released and is
currently the #1 paperback
on the N.Y. Times best seller
list (right).
SJC 12 – Rivercliff 2
In a first place showdown of unbeatens, SJC beat RLC 12-2.
The sun was the early winner in this game as both teams were blinded by any pitch
with an arc to it. The first three innings of the game were scoreless as a result.
“Marvelous” Mike Stoner continued his early season mastery, recording several
more strikeouts, which brought his league leading total to 127. His complete game
victory was his third of the season.
Offensively, “The One Man Gang” Eric Pawlish broke the ice for St. Jude as he did his
best Roy Hobbs
impersonation by
knocking out the run
column on the home team
side of field #2's
scoreboard, literally
'putting a run on the
board.' The ball then
ricocheted up and hit the
clock above Blackburn
Park (right).
The home run keyed a six
run inning for St. Jude and helped propel them to victory.
(Cue “The Natural” music) Apparently before the blast, Pawlish told SJC batboy,
Bobby “Savoy Special” Savoy, “Pick me out a winner, Bobby.”
10:00 Games
SJC 16 – 2 DUMC 15
The night cap was a both a barn burner and nominee for game of the year so far as
both teams battled one another for the full seven innings.
After St. Jude assumed a 7-2, 2nd inning lead (courtesy of another homer by “The
One Man Gang” Eric Pawlish, this one a three-run blast), DUMCII pecked away,
eventually tying the game up at eight apiece after five innings.
DUMCII scored four 6th inning runs to take a 12-8 lead but St. Jude battled back,
batting around in the top of the 7th to tie up the game at 12 with a Pawlish two-run
double, part of his five-rbi game.
Kevin “The AARP Avenger” Dunphy hit a huge twoout, two run triple to pad St. Jude's lead, part of his
four-hit game, which he credited to a pair of "magic"
sunglasses he donned for the doubleheader (right).
Witnesses who saw Dunphy's triple said that they
have seen grass grow more quickly than the time it
took him to reach third base.
DUMCII did not go down without a fight, scoring three
runs in the bottom of the 7th and loading the bases with two-out. But “The AARP
Avenger” came up big once again, fielding a slowly hit ground ball to first base and
diving to reach the bag a split second before the runner.
Replays showed the umpires call was correct, however, they took a long time to look
at the play since they could not determine if Dunphy was moving in real time or
slow motion, so they were confused as to what they were seeing.
DUMCII had their moments as Jacob “Dr. Death” Davis was combined 9-10 with 2
doubles, 7 RBI, and 6 runs in the two games. “Gorgeous” Gary Tichansky was 9-10
in the two games with 7 runs and an RBI.
1 DUMC 7 – Rivercliff 6
DUMCI got their first series sweep since the Roosevelt administration (Teddy
Roosevelt) as they took Game One of their Saturday set with an upset victory over
Rivercliff.
This titanic struggle came down to the bottom of the 7th Inning as DUMCI was
clinging to a 7-5 lead.
Rivercliff got three straight hits to open their half of the 7th scoring a run and having
the tying and winning runs on base with no outs.
“Dangerous” Doug Horst, who’s rookie year was spent learning from Christy
Matthewson in the N.Y. Giants
organization (right), had worked in
and out of trouble all day was
masterful getting the next two
batters to fly out.
With the tying run at third base, the
game came down to a scorching line
drive that was hit deep in the hole at
shortstop. Second year star Barrett
“The Killer B” Brooks dove full
length and snagged the ball, then got
up to one knee and fired the ball to
“Stunning” Steve Forman who
touched the bag to end the game.
Both players were listed on the
injury report as Brooks has a torn
rotator cuff (from extending his arm
on the dive), as well as six broken ribs. He had Tommy John surgery on Saturday
night, and with a little Tylenol for the pain, is expected to suit up for the DUMCI
contest with Life Ministries this weekend.
Forman was seen limping out of the DUMCI locker room and into a waiting
ambulance. It was later revealed he has a case of Blackburn Butt, which is similar to
Turf Toe, but much worse since the fields are in such bad shape, it gives everyone
who plays there a terrible case of the red ass.
Forman’s preparation for Saturday’s game will include the best kind for Blackburn
Butt, which is a heavy dose of Preparation H, as well as pasted pictures of East
Roswell Park all over his locker inside the DUMCI Clubhouse, so he can think happy
thoughts.
11:10 Games
1 DUMC 17 – ATLJK 11
Charles Dickens must have been filing this report for the NMCSL Times as it was a
tale of two halves.
DUMCI, still feeling frisky after their upset of
Rivercliff, took a 17-1 lead going into the top of
the 4th inning, when ATLJK's pitcher hurt
himself making a play.
At this point, DUMCI packed up their bags and
left for home. However, the problem with that
was the game was still going on. A new pitcher
came in and his name must have been Juan
Berenger because he robbed DUMCI of any
more offense, and all of their Fritos, for the
rest of the game. (Sorry, I was pressed for time
and I couldn’t think of anyone else since my
mind was stuck in an awful Frito Bandito
moment)
ATLJK scored ten runs off a tired “Dangerous”
Doug Horst, who had such a tired arm he had
to resort to drop kicking the balls to the
hitters, since he could no longer throw them to
the plate.
MVP 19 – Life Ministries 4
BREAKING NEWS! Charlie “The Gray Ghost” in negotiations to
trade NMCSL pitcher “Texas” Terry Doyle to Life Ministries.
A spectacular trade has been rumored to be going around the NMCSL last Saturday
as MVP has reportedly offered “Texas” Terry Doyle to Life Ministries for 20 players,
35 players to be named later, as well as over 1,000 future considerations.
“Life came to us with this deal, since they need starting pitching,” Gray told ESPN
last week. “When I told them there was at least 500 pitchers in this league better
than Doyle, they were not too concerned since Doyle is their man.”
President “Luscious” Ed Lambert was called in to oversee the possible trade. When
asked if the trade was a little lopsided, he replied, “All I know is both teams better
start digging deep and contributing to my slush-, um, pension fund, or I’ll nix this
trade faster than you can say conflict of interest.”
12:20 Games
MVP 22- ATLJK 4
A tragedy was averted last Saturday at Blackburn Park as MVP’s All-Star pitcher,
Ross “The Beard” Milke was involved in a two car accident.
“The Beard” was driving the bullpen cart (With the MVP Hat over the cart, just like
the 70’s carts) over to the Los Rancheros between games of the doubleheader, when
the accident occurred.
Apparently, Republican Presidential candidate “Diablo” Don Paul refused to play in
the second game, unless he was given a
case of enchiladas. So “The Beard” took the
first means of transportation he could find,
similar to Jake Taylor in Major League, and
made the run.
Unfortunately for Milke, he was rear ended
by “Texas” Terry Doyle, who was headed
over to the same shopping center when he
heard Mack Brown would be over at the
Dollar General Store signing autographs.
Milke is all right, but the bullpen cart was
destroyed in the melee. This news gave
Manager Charlie Gray a moderate to severe
case of the infamous Blackburn Butt. “Now
I have to make Mike run in from the
bullpen when I want to make a pitching
change? He’ll have a heart attack before he
gets to the infield. I better rethink trading
Doyle if we can’t get the cart fixed before Saturday.”
PPC vs. Life
No report was filed as “The Luscious One” Ed Lambert must have forgot to watch his
game. However, he was seen running down Ashford-Dunwoody as soon as the game
was over holding a large canvas bag with a green dollar sign on it…