With All of Our Hearts
Summer 2014
Photo by Connie Smith
Community Devotions
Vineyard Christian Community
625 North Second Avenue
Tucson, AZ 85706
520.791.9971
O God, You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are fixed on You; for in returning and rest we shall be
saved; in quietness and trust shall be our strength. Isaiah 26:3
So I just did a walk around the arroyo across the street. The sky is the classic representation of the “leaden” sky
that authors such as Keats and Doyle and London are so very fond. As in ”Where but to think is to be full of
sorrow and leaden-eyed despairs.”
It never rained as promised yesterday and the desert is quite sullen.
And stark. A great black bare branch stuck up awkwardly from an ancient tree. That I was quite sure the
owners would chop off if they could afford the thousands of dollars that it would cost to remove such a hazard
to their home.
And a hawk settled comfortably and began preening his pin feathers. Black against the still leaden sky. But
then I noticed two doves also perched in a nearby lower branch. Quietly. In rest. And my understanding of this
branch shifted. Suddenly I started thinking words like “timeless” and “stand fast.”
And perfect peace.
This morning I am full of the George McDonald quote with which Lewis leads his book on pain:
The Son of God suffered unto the death,
not that men might not suffer, but that their
sufferings might be like His.
Unspoken Sermons, First Series
For the joy set before Him. Arms lifted up in love, to draw all people to Himself. Purposeful.
And I think about those early-morning doves. They were not huddled. Or shrinking. Or picking nervously.
And in my returning, or repenting in Spanish which means re-thinking, there is rest. And may my thoughts be
fixed on Him, in quietness and trust. May I not be the naughty little toddler of my imagination sticking her hands
into dark octopus holes, or Lewis’ puppy after the hated bath, shaking myself as dry as I can, and then racing
off to reacquire my comfortable dirtiness, May I, through practicing His presence, grow past the needed
megaphone, and listen for the quiet, steady voice of His capitalized Love.
Perfect peace.
Christy Voelkel, editor
Table of Contents
I will praise You, O LORD by Connie Smith
A holy intention even in the so very long lines at Heathrow by Christy Voelkel
Running Redeemed by Shasta Brown
Free, Free Indeed by Weston Baker
The Conversation by Emily Bertelson
Behind the Scene by Yu Chang
Bells by Dana Mahan
Son of David by Heather Voelkel
A Hoarded Hope by Pauline O’Hagin
A Name by Elizabeth Koleski
I will praise You, O LORD
Connie Smith
I took this photo an afternoon walk.
It was the day before Alissa would return after a sweet visit with Amy in Nepal. Dan and my
hearts were full, having been led all over New York City, to historical sights in Philadelphia, to
spending time with former community group friends in Lancaster, to the beaches of
Delaware for our anniversary, to meeting up with a college roommate in the woods of
Maryland, to relaxing at an Oriole baseball game, to seeing bears and exploring
Shenandoah National Park and back to New York again, all led by our Father and Good
Shepherd, our hearts were bursting with praise. We had been walking and talking of His
faithfulness when we saw and more importantly, heard this bird.
Psalm 9
I will praise you, O Lord
with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.
I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
A holy intention even in the so very long lines at Heathrow
Christy Voelkel
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world
gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let
them be afraid. John 14:27
I certainly thought about traveling lightly yesterday. The City of Lugo donated an apartment
to Marco's community group to use as a home for women and children in need, but first of
all they must pack up the lives of those who had left them behind. And one was an eightyyear-old woman who had just died, and her family wanted it all: chewed by who-knowswhat varmint boxes of receipts and church programs and daily calendars with the name of
a bank stamped in gold on the front cover, enough telephones to trace the entire history of
this modern invention, countless jars of honey and Nutella with just one more spoonful or
shampoos and lotions with just one more squeeze, and bags and bags of blankets and shoes
and kitchen towels and scratchy sweaters. And of course we all considered the lilies of the
valley and the birds of the air and bigger barns while we worked. And really, at many levels,
all this packing and up and down stairs and lowering beds out of the window was as
delightful as boating around Venice or beach days at Ravenna because of the happy spirits
and goodwill of all these young men singing and laughing as they loaded up the big truck
for storage in a large country farmhouse also provided by the city.
And we rode our little bikes down the street for another capuchino, where Marco soon
received the good news and the bad news phone call from the city's lawyer, and it was
difficult to know which was which: the city had decided to donate all of the stuff to the
ministry, and by the way, all of it had been stored in the wrong empty farmhouse and
needed to be moved immediately.
And Marco was unhappy because he likes things done correctly and efficiently, and this was
neither, and they had worked all day Saturday as well.
But Nicole reminded us of something true, that is so true I hope to remember it all of my life.
Just as the first sorting and hefting and stacking had been an act of joyous worship, so could
the resorting, the re-hefting, and the re-stacking be a joyous act of worship. If it is all done for
His honor and glory, it doesn't really matter what it happens to be.
And besides, it doesn't matter how far that old farmhouse is out in the country, because now
I know how to ride 100 km a day. No problem.
This is the message that has so struck pastor Chris that he has taught it over and over again
these past few years, so that its truth may settle in deeply and take root and produce the
fruits of love, joy and peace: we can choose each act to be an act of worship. For His honor
and glory.
Whether it is crafting beautiful violins like the Penazzi grandfather, or wood oven roasted
eggplant and garlic pizzas like the brothers served us last night. Or standing in a British
Airways line chatting with a Las Angeles hairdresser about his awe-inspiring visit to Rome. Or
not getting access to the free airport internet so I can curl up with my old friend Annie Dillard
once again.
And last night after the pizza and the nice bottle of white wine and before the game of
Spades, we prayed for each other and the lives we will led this next year, just out of sight
around the next curve. May we each live freely in His peace and provision, and not look to
the world's peace, where moth and rust and little mice do certainly corrupt.
Centered in Him and His great love. Free, free at last.
And Annie Dillard ends her book of questions about The great I AM with some words from
Martin Buber: the world of ordinary days affords us that precise association. With God that
redeems both us and our speck of the world. God entrusts and allots to everyone an area to
redeem: this creased and feeble world, "the world in which you live, just as it is and not
otherwise." Here and now, presumably, an ordinary person would approach with a holy and
compassionate intention the bank and post office, the car pool, the God-help-us television,
the retirement account, the car, desk, phone, and keys. "Insofar as he cultivates and enjoys
them in holiness, he frees his soul...he who prays and sings in holiness, eats and speaks in
holiness, in holiness performs the pointed ablutions, and in holiness reflects upon his business,
through him the sparks which have fallen will be uplifted, and the worlds which have fallen
will be delivered and renewed."
So be it. In holiness, free, free at last.
Running Redeemed
Shasta Brown
The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the
righteous man runs into it and is safe. Proverbs 18:10
I’ve never been much of a runner. I grew up very nonathletic, being cut from basketball
tryouts and coming in second to last in every timed mile in my P.E. class. Yet in my adulthood
I’ve found running as something of a haven, a quiet place where bones, muscles, tendons,
and the mind work together on good days and plot against one another on bad days. It’s a
stress-relieving, thought-processing, goal-reaching activity. There are days I’ve beat my time
and my distance and I feel like flying and then days the ache in my knee that comes on
slowly lasts for two weeks and the joints in my feet hurt so much I can barely walk. What is
that all about?
And there it is, staring me in the face: running is like life, or housework is like life, or errands are
like life, or being a nurse to the most precious 103-year old lady and the drug seeking 27-year
old is like life. And there is God in all that, being sovereign and showing His child His
abundant love.
How do I effectively run towards God when, with each step, all I can think of is that achy
knee and my tired heart? Instead of facing that strong tower I find myself looking down at
myself and losing sight of a God willing to carry me the rest of the way.
And God turns to me and says, “Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story--.” And it goes
on telling them: the redeemed, the fallen, the broken, the chained, the fools, the rebellious,
the wanderers. Every time they run to desert wastelands, to darkness, to rebellious ways, to
the sea of cowardice. And they cry out to God, and God delivers them. He leads them by a
straight way, he satisfies the thirsty, fills the hungry, brings them out of darkness, breaks away
chains, heals them, rescues from the grave, stills the storm to a whisper, turns the desert into
pools of water, and blesses. (Psalm 107)
I am no different than those wanderers. I cry out to anything and anyone before turning to
God, before even remembering to turn to Him. And God graciously waits for me, prays for
my heart to soften and when I cry to Him, He is there, waiting to deliver me, to carry me, to
place me back on that straight path leading directly to His name.
Question: In what ways has God redeemed you?
Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for redeeming me.
Free, free indeed
Weston Baker
And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord,
the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding
in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion
and sin. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished; He punishes the children and their
children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.” Exodus 34:6-7
Understanding God’s nature is essential for hearing God’s voice. This moment with Moses
when God passed before Him and revealed His goodness and glory is the first time when
God talks about Himself in this way. God shares some key elements about His nature in the
passage.
He is gracious, compassionate, abounding in love, forgiving, just and full of truth. His is the
voice of kindness and goodness. He is restful and full of unshakable peace.
And in the new covenant in which we are set free from the bounds of sin and made new
through grace and the working of the Spirit of truth, we are inheritors of boundless favor,
mercy, and destiny. No longer does the Lord punish the sin of us who stand behind the blood
of the Lamb. Just like how the angel of death passed over the Israelites’ homes in Egypt,
death passes over us who are made children of light by the free gift of salvation.
So when it comes to discerning God’s voice, His is the one free of condemnation and
judgment. He is joyful, humorous and excited. His heart will stir mine toward satisfaction and
peace. Even when the Lord rebukes me it fills my heart with peace, courage and security.
He does not deal in shame or guilt.
I am in the process of finding the place of joy in discipline. The Lord is so dynamic in His
character and nature, so I am allowing my perception of Him room to change. Prayer and
waiting on the Lord can only truly be long-lasting and useful if it is rooted in joy, not duty. So
far, every time I set aside a portion of my day to seek the Lord one on one I have come
away blessed, and I know there is so much more to hearing God and knowing Him— how He
really, really is.
Prayer: Father, thank You. You are so faithful. Your kindness and generosity are upon me
everyday. Open my eyes to experience the depths of Your nature in my day that I may
know You. You are establishing Your nature in me that I may shine Your goodness,
gentleness, peace, patience, joy and love in my own life. Your will be done, let heaven
invade upon this world.
The Conversation
Emily Bertelson
Behind the Scene
Yu Chang
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all
these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
Last month, InterVarsity joined UA’s Secular Students Alliance
for an evening of communication. Afterwards I got to hang out
with some of them more, and heard of an unsurprising yet sad story of how one of their
members abandoned the Christian worldview he was taught growing up because he
viewed Christian faith as predominantly a fun-spoiling, individual-killing set of don’ts.
The same, I believe, applies to the late Christopher Hitchens as well. If you haven’t heard of
him, he was one of the most outspoken, most militant and wittiest atheists of our
contemporary. His debates on YouTube have thousands of likes from atheists, some of whom
make video clips of how he humiliates theists – so-called “Hitchslap” – and popularize them
as if their Bible. Considering Mr. Hitchens grew up in a churched family, one wonders where
he got all his rage against Christianity. Well, in several of his public addresses, he explicitly
stated his view of God as “a Big Brother figure who is always watching and pointing out all
your wrongs” and one “cannot escape Him” even with death.
While many of us are desperately crying out for more of God in us every day, many yet are
desperately trying to get away from Him. Instead of viewing Him as a savior and a lover, they
view Him primarily as someone to escape from. Surely their pride and ignorance have
played a role in their futile decision, but I wonder if they also suffered from a deep-rooted yet
mistaken image of God inflicted by the partial and narrow perception of God from their
parents or church.
Surely following God involves a lot of don’ts, some, if not all, of which are hard to obey. But
interestingly, when I was still a seeker who encountered Christianity for the first time, I was
impressed by its lack of emphasize on rules. As I re-read Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, I am
again haunted by the same sense of love deeper and stronger than a sense of denial. In
that three chapters of Matthew, Jesus threw out a ton of don’ts and a ton of woes, yet after
every “don’t” there is a higher love; paralleling every woe there is a blessing. We don’t “lose
saltiness” or “hide under the basket,” because our light “shine before others, so that they
may see your good works and give glory to your Father;” We don’t swear or divorce or curse,
because our Heavenly Father is perfect, and we are made in His image; we don’t be showy
when giving to the poor or when fasting, because our Father in Heaven sees what we do in
secret and rewards us with Heavenly rewards; and finally, we don’t worry about food or
clothing, because there is something much more transcendent and worthy: the kingdom of
God and his righteousness.
Imagine all the previous teachings without the second half of God’s loving approval – the
message would be practically lost. If the only thing Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount
is “don’t lose saltiness, don’t hide, don’t divorce, don’t revenge, don’t be hypocritical, don’t
worry about food and clothes,” his message would not have been as life impacting to me.
The “don’ts” are necessary because of the wonder and love of God’s ordained purpose. Or
as Ravi Zacharias put it, “sin is the violation of purpose.”
It is of course a grave mistake that some ministries water down the gospel into a bunch of
stingless, comfortable feelings, but it is equally mistaken to water it down into a set of
manageable rules of negation. If sin is a violation of purpose, then conviction of sin cannot
be separated from commitment of purpose. I very much know this feeling: The more I treat
my Christian life as exclusively a set of don’ts, the more frustrated I become at how I don’t
follow them, and the more likely I would be to inflict these don’ts on others with a hardened
heart. When this goes on and on, as many of my older friends have observed, in a
generation or two, a universal drama of love would become a lifeless mechanism of
constraint. I sincerely wish our parents who want to raise up Godly children will not repeat the
mistake that once marred my secular student friend and Christopher Hitchens.
And I’m afraid the timing is urgent, for I see this “God is Big Brother” mentality more and more
frequently in secular media. In the popular video game franchise, Assassin’s Creed, for
example, the antagonists are a religious group – very much resembling Christianity, what a
coincidence – called Templars whose sole purpose is to seek control. The protagonists, on
the other hand, are assassins who fight for the freedom from all things for mankind. In
popular fantasy the case is even more prominent. Pick a random fantasy novel, and
chances are you would find the “church” or its equivalence in it is an order seeking control
through rules after rules, if not through force. The chance of encountering a loving church
order, however, is very low. How do we combat this mistaken public perception of the core
of our belief that has already become widespread?
This need underlies both secular and churched communities. Recently I “interviewed” a
family’s parents of their love story, in their grown children’s presence. As the father and
mother revealed that they started dating in high school and one of them was not a Christian
back then, their high-school-age daughter started to mumble her dissatisfaction with what
she had been told by her parents: “Don’t date in high school;” “Don’t date non-Christians.” I
have had the fortune to know both some very secular couples and very Christian couples in
relative depth. From my observation, it is indubitably obvious that devout Jesus-loving
couples have their affection and communion on such a higher dimension that made the
other pairs looking like kids in Pretend Play in comparison. I think the Lord truly provides
amazing things behind His prohibitions, but we may just miss one of them.
I fancy it is this mentality that accompanied Jesus when he cried out “Father, forgive them,
for they know not what they do” even as he was being nailed on the cross. Those Roman
soldiers were committing the most mistaken action in the history, and they most surely
deserved a bold-font “don’t!” with exclamation mark, yet Jesus was still able to see not only
their current action, but how beautiful and holy they were supposed to be. I also desire that
undefeatable power of his that sees love through trial.
Prayer:
My Father in Heaven,
Give me faith to trust your discipline
And give me hope to see the love behind it.
For I only desire the treasure in Heaven
Where thieves do not steal and rats do not destroy.
Bells
Dana Mahan
For all the promises of God in Him are yes and amen.
2 Corinthians 1
I love to dance, especially at weddings. Those most joyous of occasions when soaring spirits
and an abundance of goodwill conspire together, guaranteeing that no one will notice my
lack of rhythm out on the floor. Sister Beat and Brother Tempo, no matter how long it takes, I
will find you!
Today, even today the search continues, once Charlene and Rico have said their vows.
Every song, if my wife will let me. Each time a merry tune is played. For the happy couple
has given us much to celebrate with their union. More than most.
What sets their nuptials apart? Not the ordinary church where we will all meet, nor the
modest ensemble of flowers and ribbons which will adorn it. The meal will be average, I
suspect, and the gathering of friends will be casually attired.
No. The people that love Charlene and Rico are delighted by the prospect of their union,
have waited with baited breath for this blessed occasion to arrive because, honestly, it was
a long time in the coming. Both the bride and the bridegroom are nearly sixty years of age.
During a season in life when many are planning their retirements and welcoming
grandchildren into the world, paying off their mortgages and managing a new set of health
issues related to their eminent status as senior citizens, Charlene and Rico were falling in love.
Strolling hand in hand through the park. Gazing at one another across a candle lit table.
Quiet whispers shared and simple gifts exchanged. Too old to care what others may or may
not have thought about the outwards signs of their fresh devotion.
But we all found it endearing, and thanked God they found each other, near the end. So I
will take my own nearest and dearest for a twirl tonight, and raise a glass to the newlyweds,
as we revel in things worth waiting for.
Question: What do the words Until Death Do We Part mean, in light of eternity?
Prayer: You have called us, as members of your body, to be one in spirit. Thank you, Lord,
that marriage is a mere extension of this awesome and magical unity.
Son of David
Heather Voelkel
The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made...But
all the wicked He will destroy. Psalm 145
A little while ago my small group decided we needed to incorporate some solid worship and
reflection into our lives, so- we decided to do a study of the Psalms. That’s a worshipful book,
we thought to ourselves. Right? Wrong. Big mistake. Each week grew worse and worse
because man, we found the Psalms extraordinarily difficult to relate to. David seemed so full
of PASSION- either passion towards smiting his enemies (which our group found incredibly
distasteful and off-putting) or passion towards worshipping (which again, we found it really
hard to relate to wanting to meditate on The Law day and night). After a month or two of
dragging, no- crawling, groaning, and rolling our eyes through the Psalms, we threw in the
towel. It was terrible.
It was so terrible I had to do some serious work on my attitude towards the Bible as a whole.
I’ve spent the last couple months reading books entitled, God Behaving Badly and Is God a
Moral Monster. Yeah, I was having a hard time. I think finally I was able to reach something
of an equilibrium so I decided to dig into the Psalms once again with a fresh approach and
my fist clenched around a Bible commentary. Here’s what I got:
The goal of the Psalms is for people to learn how to speak TO and ABOUT God. We are
created to share with God how we feel and then learn how to praise Him. The beginning
portions of the Psalms are very, “This is how I feel” heavy, and towards the end of the Psalms
it’s very, “Let’s praise God” heavy. It’s meant show the progression and growth of David’s
faith. Okay. I can understand that. Next up:
The Psalms are actually divided into five books or main sections. Why five books? Many Old
Testament scholars believe the five books are meant to mirror or respond to the five books of
the Torah. What does Torah mean again? Christians often translate Torah to mean “law,”
whereas most Rabbis would translate it as “revelation” or “gift.” The Torah was God’s gift to
people, and the Psalms are people’s gift BACK to God- the gift being we give God our
voice- us speaking TO Him and ABOUT Him.
As I started digging through the Psalms, it struck me that we know more about David’s life
than we do any other person in the Bible- even more than what we know about Jesus. We
know where David started, we know where he ended, we know what he did well and where
lie his areas of sin. We even know his THOUGHT life through the Psalms. Why? Why so much
effort in knowing David?
I would propose we know so much about David because David is so HUMAN. There aren’t
any crazy miracles, there’s lots of sin in his life...and lots of moments where he’s feeling great.
In many ways, he is a pretty RELATABLE character. As in, he’s totally screwed up and full of
angst and full of revenge thoughts and yet, David lived before God. He was not defined by
his failures or success- but simply lived before God as one who is loved and accepted. Even
when David sinned BIG time- he was a cheater and a murderer- he did not just run away to
the hills with the idea that there’s no point for him to continue living and that God
considered him worthless. He immediately fell on his knees and prayed to God, saying, “If
you make me clean, I will be clean.” It was all about GOD. I think we know so much about
David because God’s number one desire is that we live in the same way- not full of screwups, per say- but full of relationship. Even if our thinking is bad, God still wants us to talk to
Him, to engage with Him, to worship Him.
It’s interesting also that Jesus is so frequently named as The Son of David. I suppose this is
partly because lineage was a big deal for that culture, but more, I think, because the
authors of the Bible want us to recognize Jesus as one who is NOT overwhelmed, limited, or
off-put by our sin and our humanity. He loves us. He accepts us. He makes us clean. Just as
David knew he was a sinner but still lived believing God desired relationship with Him, so The
Son of David knows we are sinners but still lives desiring relationship with us.
It was really helpful to read the Psalms while focusing on the teachings and life of Jesusespecially when David gets all smite-happy. When David says, “slay the wicked,” we can just
move right along, because we know that the Son of David brings the rest of the story. The
rest of the story is that Jesus is the true Messiah and takes compassion and forgiveness further
than David could ever imagine possible. There is forgiveness and healing for the wicked, for
us, for our enemies, for everyone.
I recognize this is a rather weird devotional, but it means a lot to me to know that Jesus is
Messiah. It means a lot to know that the Son of David offers my enemies compassion, not
destruction. The Son of David offers me healing, not smite (am I allowed to make that a
noun?).
Prayer:
Son of David, Thank you for loving me. I believe it’s true that if you make me clean, I will be
clean indeed. I worship you and I am grateful for your not giving up on me.
A Hoarded Hope
Pauline O’Hagin
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where
thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and
rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is,
there your heart will also be. Matthew 6:19-21
Is there such a thing as hoarding a hope? I was shown that was what I have been doing, but
this verse clarified what had been happening in my thinking. I had been given a great
opportunity to apply for a much hoped-for position that I believe I am highly qualified. I
believed this opportunity was a gift from God. What followed was great praise and praying. I
just knew that all was God's will for my life, for that is what I completely prayed for. Many
months later, I have still not received a call back for an interview.
God did give me these words. We are led upon paths that will be shown to us, yet not in our
timing will we placed on them. As we wait on the "timing" we are to learn of the purpose of
what is placed before us.
Prayer: Lord thank for your never-ending love that guides me in to Your will for my life.
Please keep my eyes and heart on You.
A Name
Elizabeth Koleski
… and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the
stone which no one knows but he who receives it. Revelation 2:17
In Malawi it is common to meet grown men with the name Precious or Blessings. Mothers
often name children with a meaningful name and according to their circumstances. The
name “Mavuto” which means problem is also very common. One day I was working at an
under-five village clinic with a large group of mothers and small children when after
complementing a mother, I asked what her name was. She answered “Mudzalephera,” I
repeated it several times to get the pronunciation right when my Malawian colleague
turned to me and asked “Do you know what her name means?” I said, “Well it sounds
pretty, but no, what does it mean?” It means, “You will fail.” When I heard that I recoiled in
shock and blurted out to the mother, “You will NOT fail!.” She just looked at me without
changing her expression. She impressed me as
someone who carried herself with dignity and not
a failure at all, and I wondered what her name
had meant to her. I said to her, “you and your
baby are beautiful, may I snap your picture?”
My name is Elizabeth it is traditional, and nice
enough, but I think about other names, the names
I’ve taken on and worn over the years, names like
“You are not accepted” “You cannot do that”
and “nobody cares about you.” Jesus has given
me a new name. I’m excited to hold that white stone in my palm and see that my name is
more along the lines of Precious and Blessings.
Question: What name might you have adopted?