Mystery
by Raven Richardson
“Be safe!” Those were the last words a poor innocent gorilla heard from the love
of his life when he left for work in the morning. He wasn’t even able to see his wife’s
face one last time before he felt a painful jab in his lower back and his vision went dark.
All he heard before he felt his eyelids get heavy was the sound of someone frantically
yelling for help.
Spanky the gorilla woke up in a completely white room, the light almost blinding
him when he first opened his eyes.
“W-where am-” Before he could utter the rest, he felt someone lovingly embrace
him.
“Big Bertha…? He asked inquisitively. The first thing he noticed was the distinct
scent of her hair. Bananas… He smiled, he knew it was Big Bertha because only she
would use banana shampoo, she knew he liked it.
“Big Bertha, what in tarnation happened to me…?” He asked in a serious tone,
adjusting his hospital gown, “And where are the kids at, and where am I at, and where is
my top hat at?”
Big Bertha smiled, “Stop driving yourself bananas, Spanky. The kids are at home
sleeping, you’re in the hospital for a serious butt injury, and your hat is over on the
table.”
Suddenly, the door opened, it was Dr. Spongebob Squarepants. “Sorry to bother
you two guys’ monkey buisness, but I need to have a word with you both. He stepped
closer to Spanky and his wife, as a little puppy in an expensive suit and hat trotted after
him, holding a briefcase in his tiny mouth.
“So do you want the good or bad news first?”
Spanky shrugged “Hit me with the bad news first, Doc.”
“Sooo the bad news is that apparently you were the victim of an attempted
murder. Buuuuuut, the good news is that we have found just the man to find out who did
this to you.”
Spanky’s eyes widened, and then filled with rage, “I reckon I know exactly who
did this to me! It was that dang nabbed Bieber kid!” Spanky attempted to spring up from
his bed, but was held down by his wife.
“Lemme at em’! I’ll rearrange that little punk’s face with a hammer and throw him
all the way to the moon! That little sucker will never see the light of day again, I promise
on it!”
“Please Mr. Wumbo! Calm down! Your injuries haven’t healed yet! We have
Detective Cat here to find the culprit, so please relax!”
“I ain’t no idiot ya stupid sponge! Go make yourself useful and wash some
dishes, you dumb sea creature! Besides, that is a dog, not no cat!”
Spongebob looked at Spanky and a single tear rolled down his cheek,
“Wow, okay. That was hurtful. Get out of my office!”
Seconds later, Mr. and Mrs. Wumbo and the detective were outside of Mr.
Squarepants' office and then soon outside of the hospital.
Big Bertha helped Spanky hobble out the doors and apologized profusely to Mr.
Cat.
“It’s fine, really ma’am, it is.” Cat smiled, “You two can leave, I need to go start
my investigation now.” He waved bye to the pair and walked confidently down the
street, he knew exactly where to start his investigation, at the crime scene.
At the crime scene, Cat the Dog was greeted by 3 things, an iPod playing Justin
Bieber, and 2 fingerprints with a brown strand of hair.
“Time to interview the first suspect,” Cat said, grinning, “I have a feeling I know
who it is.”
*Tap* *Tap* Detective Cat the Dog knocked onto Mr. Bieber’s door and it opened
slowly, and Mr. Bieber walked out.
“Down here.” Cat the Dog said, happily.
“What do you want?” Justin rudely said, “I’m busy being famous, this better be
important.”
“Good afternoon, Mr. Bieber. Do you know a gorilla by the name of Spanky
Wumbo?”
Justin glared at the small detective “Yeah, so what if I know him? Dude’s totally
bonkers.”
Now Justin had totally peaked Dog’s interest, “How so exactly?”
Justin shrugged and leaned up against the outer wall of his house, and coldly he
replied with “He threw my wonderful Selena Gomez off of a cliff, all because she
wouldn’t give him her delicious banana smoothie…”
“How did that make you feel?” The detective said, getting a notepad and pen out
of his briefcase.
“Angry, I almost went after the dumb ape to get my revenge.”
Did you then? Aha! I’ve caught this criminal red handed. First suspect too, Cat
thought happily.
“Mr. Bieber… did you assault Mr. Spanky J Wumbo one week ago from today?”
Justin looked at the detective like he was crazy, ”Are you kidding me!?” he
sputtered, “I was too busy buying a hospital for my gorgeous, wrongfully hurt Selena…”
“Couldn’t you just check her into a local hospital?”
“Obviously not! That’s for poor people. She needs her own personal hospital,
where no one can bother her.”
“Well okay then…” The detective stepped away, Justin wasn’t who he was
looking for, obviously.
The next suspects he interviewed were none other than Dora and Boots.
“*knock* *knock*, Open up, please.”
The door opened almost immediately, the first person, or rather monkey, to be
seen was Boots with a giant grin on his face, “Hey Mr. Detective man! How’s it
hanging?”
“Everything’s fine. Do you know of a man named Spanky J Wumbo?”
Boots shook his head, “No, but maybe Dora has!” He opened the door even
farther and Detective Dog the Cat immediately saw a small, smiling Mexican girl
greeting him.
“Hola detective!”
“G-good evening Ms. Márquez! Do you know a gorilla by the name of Spanky J
Wumbo?”
“U-uh n-no! Apenado Señor Detective, sorry Mr. Detective! Botas y no tengo
tiempo para responder a eso ahora mismo! Estamos demasiado ocupados aprendiendo
a contar hasta 5! Boots and I don't have time to answer that right now! We are too busy
learning how to count to 5!” Dora frantically cries as she shoves the detective out of the
door. Loud, frantic whispering is heard, even from the outside. The detective shrugs and
moves onto his next suspect, Harold the Potato.
“*knock* knock* “Mr. Potato? Are you there?”
The sound of a bowling ball falling down the stairs is heard, accompanied by the
sound of a door opening.
“I am Harold the potato, what is it that you want?
“Do you know a man by the name of Spanky J Wumbo?
The potato sheds a single tear and looks off into the distance, “Sadly, yes. That
man made my entire lineage into a mashed potato dinner for his family. Those poor,
innocent souls. The grieving process never gets easier. It’s nice to have my children by
my side though. Day by day, the truth drops harder and harder on me. I will never-”
“Did you try and kill him then?”
“I wish. But alas, I am a potato and without arms. I could not get revenge, though
I so badly wanted to. My family didn’t-”
“I’m sorry, Sir. You’re under arrest for the attempted murder of Spanky J
Wumbo.”
“What!? Impossible! I-I couldn’t have!”
“There was evidence found out the scene, that relates to you, the only living
potato in town.”
Harold was quiet for a moment, “Huh… I guess it really was me then… I guess I
sleep wal- rolled and did this… I can’t believe it wasn’t that Dora girl and her monkey
friend…”
“Why would you say that…?”
“She’s been talking about it for weeks to everyone? Apparently that gorilla guy
slapped her friend Boots with a chair.”
“Oh? Where is she now?”
“Probably learning how to count to 6?”
“She said she was learning how to count to 5… I think I know who committed this
crime. I apologize for all this, thank you for this information though.”
Detective Cat the Dog runs back to Dora and Boots’ house and handcuffs the
criminals at the scene.
“How did you find out it was me?” Snarls Dora.
Cat smiles, “I have my secrets.”
Dora the Explorer is sentenced to a 1 hour time-out.