Written by Team Smells Like Awesome
Copyright
Copyright Ⓒ Lara Marais, Claudia White,
Lauryn Britton, Natasha Trolove, Brayden
Jones, Welland Joyce and Jacob Delich.
All rights reserved. This book’s copyright. A
part from any fair dealing for the purpose of
private study, research, criticism or review, as
permitted under Copyright Act, no part may be
reproduced by any process without written
permission. Enquires should be made to the
publisher.
This book is dedicated to Princess Margaret
Hospital
We would like to dedicate this book to the
children in Princess Margaret Hospital. We
hope for you to have a safe and speedy
recovery. We hope this book gives you a hope,
laughter and makes your imagination flow.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
382,500km from earth, in geosynchronous orbit above the sea
of tranquility earth’s moon
Kosmyath Starmaski, head curator of the Intergalactic Antique
Fashion Museum, sat at the bow of his cruiser, the new 8300
Andromeda-class star yacht, the newest addition to the star
yacht range. It was a beautiful ship, with all the new bells and
whistles. It was his pride and joy. He was wearing his
trademark antique brown suit, trying to install the new
Artificial intelligence system.
“Let’s see if this works now…Give me a home among the gum
tree’s with lots of plumb trees, a sheep or two and
a…and….a… Oh, I give up. I’ve been a citizen of Australia for
nigh on 5 years, and still can’t remember that song. Oh, my
mother, may her soul rest in peace, would be-”
Beep beep. S.t.e.v.e., Stellar Travel Enabled Vehicular Entity
enabled.
“Yes, is this the new artificial intelligence, S-t-e-v-e?”
Please coordinator, call me Steve. “Ok, Steve, run a system
diagnostic for me. I want to be in ship-shape for the upcoming
fashion festival. Don’t want to be breaking down in the middle
of Perth now, do we?”
No sir that would be most unfortunate.
“Indeed. Well we better get going then. Set a course for Perth
and turn on the autopilot. I’ve got a speech to write, and I can’t
be late for the show.”
Confirmed. Setting course for Perth, Scotland.
“Wait, no, you stupid machine. Perth, Western Australia.”
“Obviously I need to recalibrate him.” steamed Kosmy as he
tried to focus on his speech.
I am detecting hostility in your voice sir do you require
medical assistance?
“NO, you piece of junk, I don’t need medical assistance. Just
set the course and be quiet!
Help is on the way sir, please remain calm and stay seated.
“Uhhhhh… Goodbye for now Steve, I’m turning you off.”
Help is on the way sir, please remain…Beep…“Now that Steve
has finally shut up, let’s get to work on this speech. Let’s just
hope I can get it finished and not get distracted.” Muttered
Kosmy, as his thoughts started to drift towards the first time he
flew a star yacht.
Chapter 2
“It’s been 3 hours; I think I might give Steve another go.”
thought Kosmy as he failed to write a paragraph in the last hour.
“Let’s see…button here….”
Power on. Beep beep. Beep beep. Crash imminent. Beep beep.
Beep beep.
“What? Where are we landing? I thought we were on course!
Negative sir, we are on a direct collision course with a
mountain of some sort.
“Ahhhhhhhh!
Sir, I advise you stop screaming and help save the vessel, and
myself.
“Shut up, you artificial unintelligence. Initiate the landing gear
and try and put us down smoothly. I still want to get to the
festival in one piece!”
Kosmy frantically ran around the ship, mashing every button in
sight on the control module. “Maybe this’ll do it” Sir, Inertial
dampeners have been disabled.
“Oh, Nige! Steve, how far away are we from the planet’s
surface?” Approximately 250m sir. Brace for impact.
“Ahhhhh!” screamed Kosmy as the ship plummeted towards the
sand.
With a smash and a resounding crash Kosmy and the once
beautiful spaceship hit the planet, finally skidding to a halt 50m
ahead.
Sir, I am detecting no life-signs in the immediate area.
“That’s great Steve. That’s just great. How far away from the
festival are we?
We are approximately 2,913km away from Perth, Western
Australia.
“Oooh great! Exclaimed Kosmy angrily. Now how am I going to
give my speech at the fashion festival?” hissed Kosmy. “I guess
I can still work on my speech. It’ll give me something to do at
least.”
Kosmy spent the next 4 hours waiting for someone to fly past,
and trying to finish his speech. Both of which never happened.
“Steve, we wouldn’t have gotten into this situation if you hadn’t
of been so incomprehensively stupid!” roared
I remind you sir that it was you who shut me down.
“Oh whatever. I still blame you for this kafuffle.” Kosmy
muttered, just loud enough for Steve to hear. “We shall be stuck
here forever.” Kosmy sighed as he settled into a seat and waited
for starvation and possible annoyance to be his death.
Chapter 3
Renae actually loved her job. She loved the stories the things she
found told her. Even when she was young the things she found
were most precious to her. At that moment she flew over a large
area with mounds and mounds of trash. “Wait a minute” Renae
said out loud realizing she had seen those mounds before, but
she couldn’t be bothered to think about it then. ‘There must be
some or another spaceship that’s been abandoned’ Renae
thought to herself. And there it was just as she said it, a perfect
spaceship, well almost. It had definitely crash landed.
She immediately stopped quite a distance away. She was so
eager and started to run over to it immediately, but she tried to
be careful not to make a sound to alarm the people inside. She
stood behind a mound of trash examining the ship. By looking at
it she could see it had crashed by the way it had been dented, and
in some parts were grey with the tint of smoke.
There was no sign of intelligent life anywhere. Like the aliens
from the Drazan quadrant, they are the stupidest species of them
all. Or what if it were the ship
of Gualfy. There were pretty nasty. ‘Living in chaos since 1 BC’
was their
motto.
She walked closer to the door. It had been ripped clean off, the
yellow paint chipped and the engine was smoking in a few
places. No way was there
anyone on this ship. She walked into darkness.
Chapter 4
“Usually the light switch for these things is right here.” Renae
said switching on the light, lighting the room. Everything was
scattered all over the floor, there weren’t any glass shards, so
no glassware. She looked around trying to find some things to
take without the owner noticing, if they were still alive. She
found some x-ray glasses. She knew they were x-ray glasses
because she’s seen ones like them before at the Perth Fashion
Festival. She had gone every year; it was what she looked
forward to.
She kept on walking, curious to what she might find on this
mysterious ship. She came to a large tabletop and right in the
center she saw a milkshake machine.
It didn’t look as complicated as other ones she’s seen. It was
just small enough to carry. So she took it. Along with the
machine she took a laser
ray gun, super spring shoes, a brown and gold watch and a
lunchbox signed by Buzz Light-year (whoever that was). She
heard someone was going to
pay big money for something this stupidly unimportant. She
was now satisfied with the things she’s taken; now she would
be off.
She jumped out of what was left of the ship and walked
towards her ship the TX311. Her father had given her that
hunk of junk. Its paint wearing away with every black whole
she encountered.
Chapter 5
Kosmy walked out the bathroom and started to walk over to his
beloved milkshake maker when he realised it wasn't there. Where
was all of his stuff?
It was gone, stolen, his laser beams, his x-ray glasses, the beloved
milkshake maker, his super spring shoes even his grandfathers old
custom made watch, with a brown leather strap and a golden face,
but the most important thing missing was his collectors lunch box
signed by Buzz Light-year himself. He was absolutely furious he
was going to track the person who did this and get his Lunch box
back, especially since it had his last packet of skittles left.
Kosmy decided to look through the security footage and was very
surprised as to what he saw. He could only see the back of the
person’s head but he could definitely tell it was a human robbing
him. He had very short, dark brown hair with a bright red beanie,
a baggy green and black-checked flannel shirt and baggy grey
track pants with brown steel caped boots. “Why does it look like
there is a 15 year old boy on my space ship” he thought to
himself, but as the person turned around he could clearly see that
it was a girl. “OH MY GOSH THATS A GIRL” he shouted to
nobody. He watched her as she gets in her own spaceship and
flyway.
If he wanted to catch her he had to act fast. So he set out in hopes
of being able to hotwire a spacecraft. After what seemed like agesbut it was really only 15 minutes he found a very hectic and busy
cross section at the highway, he stuck his hand out with his thumb
out to the side hoping he could catch a ride. After about 5 minutes
an old man wearing a plain white t-shirt with a mustard stain in
the corner, baggy black jeans and a blue and white cap that just
shows his grey curls that stick out behind his ears. His space craft
was old and rusted all over, Kosmy was surprised it hasn't fallen
apart yet; although the whole craft was rusted he could just make
out a bum with a fart coming out and the caption BUM-ble Bee.
“Ya lookin' for a ride son?!” he bellowed before ending in a
coughing fit. 'Yes sir' Kosmy whimpered, he was slightly scared
of the man but reminded himself that his milkshake maker and
Buzz Lightyear lunch box were on the line! “Were to?” The man
said, his yellow teeth-or what was left of them glinting as he
turned to face me. “Downtown” Kosmy replied, he thought if he
could lead him away from all the traffic and into a more private
area he could hi-jack the space ship. As they were driving round
town the man-who's name turned out to be Maggie, was singing
an old classic called Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus “SO I PUT
MY HANDS UP YOUR PLAYING MY SONG YOU KNOW
ITS GONNA BE OK YEAH YEAH YEAH THERES A PARTY
IN THE USA!” Maggie screamed at the top of his lungs, Kosmy
honestly thought his ears were going to fall off he sounded like a
cat getting run over by a tractor and then start chocking on a hair
all.
Maggie and Kosmy finally made it downtown. Maggie parked the
spaceship at the side of the road, Kosmy knew that know was his
time to act. As Maggie opened the door Kosmy quickly Lent over
and pushed Maggie out of his ship, slid over the seat and started to
drive away. As Kosmy looked I'm the rear-vein mirror he could
see Maggie just getting up from the floor and waving his fist in
the air 'GET BACK HERE AND GIVE ME MY SHIP YOU
NIGE!' Kosmy just smiled and ignored Maggie, whilst picturing
him and his strawberry milkshake running along the beach handin-hand.
Kosmy decided to go and check other planets for the girl. He flew
to Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, The Drazen, planet to planet when finally
he went back to planet Earth.
Chapter 6
Kosmy traveled further to the planet Earth and went to Australia
again. He landed in Perth and found his way to the Perth Fashion
Festival. He decided to try and find the thief in the festival while
stopping to do his speech for his antique club.
It was crowded with people. Kosmy was all of a sudden
approached by hundreds of salesmen, trying to sell their products.
“No, no thanks, Nope” Kosmy replied to all of them with
frustration clearly in his voice. He began getting angrier and
angrier until he really couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed
everyone out his way, finally the people started to back off.
Then a random guy pushed Kosmy into a kart. The kart started to
move. Kosmy started to freak out. Then everything went black.
Then suddenly a ghost appeared in front of him, Kosmy yelled, a
skeleton then dropped from the sky, Kosmy screamed and then it
finally hit him. He was on a ghost train. He decided to close his
eyes and block his ears, but it didn’t stop the strange things
touching his shoulders and rubbing his head. Finally the ride was
over. Although it was scary, Kosmy found that he actually really
enjoyed the ride. He jumped out of his kart and ran into the crowd,
he then pulled himself together, manned up and then continued on
his journey to find the mysterious girl. ‘What an experience’ he
told himself.
He walked all over the showground, going on every ride, checking
every stand. It was a dream come true! He loved fairs, the prizes,
the food and the games. It was the one place he could act like a
child again. Now it was back to business, he checked everywhere,
even the bathrooms. Then he finally saw her bright red beanie, she
was trying on wristbands at a stand he checked only two minuets
ago!
Chapter 7
He travelled closer and closer to her and when he finally grabbed her,
an annoying looking girl stopped them. “Omg!” she said. ‘You look
hectic; your clothes are tots last season! My name is Veronica and I
am the fashion designer for Vogue magazine’ she exclaimed. “I’m
Renae and, sorry, but we must be on our way” said Renae. “Your not
going anywhere until you look like a star, girlfriend!” she challenged.
“Um…Ok,” Kosmy and Renae said with fear,
“So like totally follow me into my styling booth and we will fix you
up in no time!” Veronica demanded.
They followed her into her styling booth and were immediately
swept away by Veronica’s team of stylists. When they had finished
working their magic, Kosmy and Renae looked amazing, but to them
it was unusual. They took
one look at each other and burst out laughing. “You look like a
buffalo wearing a swimsuit!” Kosmy teased Renae. “Oh yeah, well
you look like an alien threw up on you!” replied Renae. “You don’t
like my work?!” Veronica said tearing up. “Nope,” said Kosmy.
Renae nudged him. “Of course we do!” Renae said, lying,
“Why were you laughing then?” Veronica asked. “Well, to be honest
with you, we don’t like it, only because it isn’t our style.” Renae
explained. “Well why didn’t you just tell me?” Veronica said
lightning up a bit.
Then, in a blink of an eye, Kosmy and Renae were in totally different
outfits. “Oh yeah, this is more like it” Renae said in wonder. “I hear
you” said Kosmy. Renae was now wearing an army patterned shirt
and shiny black shorts with new, improved steel black boots. Kosmy
was now wearing a new suit with snazzy shoes. “I like it.” Veronica
said. “Thanks but now we have to go, Veronica.” Kosmy said.
Kosmy and Renae walked out of the booth.
Chapter 8
“I have to do a speech in 15 minuets so give me back my stuff or
else,” Kosmy said trying to be intimidating. Renae reluctantly agreed
to give his things back so they started off towards the square where
Renae’s ship was, with Kosmy reviewing the tattered remains of his
speech as they weaved their way through countless stalls and
displays. Kosmy was rambling on, remembering the key points in his
speech. Renae walked along beside him, staring into the sea of colour
and fabrics that surrounded them. She was astounded by the sheer
variety and extravagance of the latest clothes, which looked both
awkward and strangely comfortable. As they approached the square,
they could see that a large crowd had begun to gather, many of whom
had been listening to the previous speech on the economic future of
the neo-classical fashion industry. According to the crowd, it had
been unimaginably boring, but that they weren’t especially
disappointed. On the western side of the square, there was a long line
of starships parked on the landing pads, their menagerie of bright
colours making the scene even more colourful than the banners and
stalls could have ever done alone. There was the King of Surei’s
personal ship, with its distinctive green, white and gold colour
scheme, parked next to the Lunar Consul’s black and white star
shuttle. Further down, the Chinese Government’s red and yellow
star-yacht sat proudly, next to a collection of smaller, private craft. In
the middle of all of this sat Ranae’s brown and green cargo vessel,
looking dirty, unsophisticated and primitive next to all these shiny,
brand new starships.
As they strode toward the TX-311, the Cansulurian Consulate arrived
from Cansu VII. The hatch on their purple and grey, bulbous
spaceship opened, and out slithered the Cansulurian Prince
Rellybelly. As he crawled, he was propelled along by gaseous
eruptions from his scaly hindquarters. Not the nicest looking species
of alien in the galaxy, but they weren’t the worst. “Nige!” Ranae
cursed “he smells horrible!” “Quiet!” hissed Kosmy, “He might hear
you!” “Don’t you know? The Cansulurians are deaf, you
kongwaffle!” She said as she laughed. Kosmy felt like an idiot, and
remained quiet for the rest of the walk.
Chapter 9
When they finally arrived at the TX-311, they became aware of a
distant thumping noise, accompanied by a vibration in the ground.
They entered the ship, believing it to be nothing more than loud
music at a distant party. Kosmy stood awkwardly as Ranae hunted
through a collection of large bins full of trash she had collected. As
she was looking through the endless piles of electronics and precious
metals, Kosmy took a detailed look at the interior of the ship; hessian
sheets hung from the roof, and the whole ship smelt like some sort of
wet, metallic substance, mixed in with oils and petrol.
Every corner of the hold was stuffed full of bins full of electrical
parts, with half built robots shoved in-between. Overall, it was a
hoarder’s paradise. In the distance, the thumping became louder.
“Ah, here it is.” exclaimed Ranae. She was holding a bin full of scrap
metal and wiring. Almost at that same instance, there was a crash,
and then a smash, and then the screams the screams of hundreds of
innocent civilians.
That was when then things took a turn for the worst. The last Kosmy
saw was a pair of furry eyebrows deep behind a glass screen.
Kosmy awoke, lying in the middle of the trash pile that had once
been the TX-311. He stood up and looked around. About half of the
starship line-up, had been destroyed, with the other half being
damaged. Dazed, he looked around; Ranae was also standing,
glancing around in curiosity. Kosmy looked to his right. There, in the
distance, was the culprit: a giant robot, stomping it’s way through
town.
Chapter 10
It was huge, ginormous and scary. It came straight at Ranae’s ship.
Kosmy and Ranae jumped out of her ship to get out of the way of the
beast. It smashed it to pieces! Her precious treasures gone.
They decided to take action and fight the beast. Renae came up with
an amazing idea! They use a magnet to wreck the robot. She
remembered seeing a huge one at the junkyard where Kosmy’s ship
crashed.
This junkyard was the biggest they had ever seen, it was also right
next to the museum but that didn't matter. In this junk yard there was
the rows and rows of cars, which gave them an idea, “Why don’t we
find a getaway car? All of the new cop movies have them. I think
that it will do us some good, just incase we get in a bit of a pickle.”
Kosmy said. Renae agreed under conditions, it could NOT under any
circumstances be pink! Renae had to go and find a magnet to over
throw the space junk (AKA the robot) so she couldn't help find the
getaway car. The thought of leaving Kosmy in charge of something
let alone picking out a getaway car scared her. But any way she had
to come past this and start her search.
She was wondering around looking for her magnet when she sees this
curious looking object with a big white sheet over it. Renae had to
investigate. Firstly she had to somehow get this big white cloak off of it.
She was walking around the object until she found a sign. The sign said:
(drawing of a sign saying pull here) She pulled the string and tumbling
down came the sheet. Underneath the giant magnet, just what she was
looking for. Renae was so excited that she was jumping for joy.
Meanwhile…
“Renae is going to kill me, Renae is going to kill me, Renae is going
to… or maybe not” Kosmy had just found their getaway car.
It was a little rusty but it would do. Hopefully the previous little girl
will not be coming after their old tricycle soon. It had streamers on the
handles and (hopefully Renae won’t mind) it was pink all over.
They met again at 3 o’clock, finally Kosmy could show Renae his
sweet rise and Renae could show him the giant magnet. When Renae
saw the tricycle she was speechless. That was until a giant cloud of
anger came over her face. She was so angry it looked like she as going
to pop, But she calmed herself down and decided that they would go
back to base.
Once they got back to base they found this mysterious letter. It was
written in cut out letters from a magazine. It said, ‘If you want to save
you museum hurry up! The battle will now commence tomorrow
bright and early. See you then’ It was from the evil robot.
They were all panicking, running around like monkeys. They hadn't
trained for this. They were so unprepared.
Chapter 11
The next morning they all got ready for the fight. Renae was
polishing her armor and Kosmy was packing his buzz lightyear lunch
box. They were all ready for the match; they just needed to get to the
museum. If only they had the directions. They were looking for a
map book everywhere. Then they flipped over the suspicious letter. It
had a map with a big red cross on the place of the museum.
So they left immediately and found them self in front of this massive
evil robot. It had a massive body, a big round head with evil eyes. It
was covered in black and red (the most evil colours there are today).
Then came a loud booming voice, which said “Let the battle
commence!”
The giant robot was swiftly coming towards them. He had revolving
razor blades, laser eyes (which by the way were at least 100 degrees
Celsius). All they had was a ‘plan a’ so they had to put it into action.
They had to bring out their magnet. But first they had to put their
getaway tricycle into position. Once they had Gorton their tricycle
into place they had gotten their magnet into position. Just as soon as
they were about to flick the on switch when Kosmy screamed,
“Noooooo, I haven’t put my Buzz Lightyear lunch box in the safe
zone!” As soon as he did that they were all ready to go. They flicked
the switch and the robot came flying towards the magnet.
Once the robot had surrendered, they turned the machine off. The
robot came down and as soon as they went to take off his helmet he
ran off to his car and drove off. They really wanted to know who was
controlling the robot. So they got on their getaway tricycle and
chased on after them.
After 3 hours of chasing they finally caught up to the robot. They
wanted to find out who was inside it.
Chapter 12
The mask of the hunching piece of metal pealed back to reveal a face
of pure evil. A face only matched by that of a gargunchkin of HZDelta, a face that was vicious of intention and black of soul, the face...
Of George the Cantankerous Guinea pig.
"Wha?!" Kosmy started before Ranae smashed him on the shoulder,
"be quiet!” George jumped out of the helmet at the chance he gained
from the distraction and ran underneath a display table housing a
priceless neck less from before the fall of the Herothmen of Gerov 5.
Ranae turned and jumped trying viciously to pick up the evil being.
Kosmy turned slowly, trying hard to brush the dust off his suit. "Hey,
business boy!" Ranae yelled trying hard to reach underneath the
display table for the oversized rat, "Coming!" He yelled reluctantly, he
never liked this junker, and she hadn't grown on him, not surprising as
she wasn't a plant, he thought getting sidetracked again.
Out of the corner of her eye Ranae saw the guinea pig running down
the end of a cannon to hide. Check mate ratty boy, she thought moving
slowly towards George's location. She gestured at Kosmiath to keep as
quiet as possible. "Narflobble-Worm!" Kosmy cursed as he tripped
over a box of tools that came crashing to the ground making a loud
clang. "Nige!" He cursed again, "I'm sorry!".
"Can it, history boy!" Ranae remarked moving slowly towards the
cannon. She took out a match and struck it on her trench coat bursting
the small stick into flame and lighting the fuse on the cannon. The
flame moved down the fuse moving ever closer to the gunpowder and
after a small few moments there was a loud bang "Whaaaeeeee!" The
talking guinea pig screamed. He flew through the air hysterically fast
as his furry, oh so furry, eyebrows flapped in the wind.
There was a moment of silence as George, Ranae and Kosmiath were
at peace but that was broken by a splehdong, "ahhhhhhh!" as George
hit a window and fell before, blong, hitting a metal beam and, thump,
hitting the ground. George was angry now and grew madder running at
Renae jumping and landing in her chest, hacking her face like a
deranged internet nerd.
Kosmy ran forward grabbing George the guinea pig off Ranae's face,
"You hog breathed, lard handling, goonoodler! Jump on her face will
you?! EAT WALL!" Kosmy yelled as he moved his arm hard in a
downward motion, flinging the guinea pig at the wall hard. George
bounced off the wall, his fat adding a certain amount of potential
energy to the equation. He dropped into an antique toy car of a
Chevrolet from the small, un-important, planet earth.
The car drove forward, going straight for Kosmy, "Pass me the antique
2036 cricket bat!" Kosmiath yelled at Ranae,"This one?!"
"Yep," Ranae chucked the bat to Kosmy who stood, bat high over his
shoulder watching the crazed and rabbid guinea pig drive the
Chevrolet straight for him. "Batter up!" Kosmy said swinging his bat
like a pendulum smashing the furry lump of lunacy spiralling into the
air.
Chapter 13
The guinea pig flew out the window smashing it into a ludicrously
uncountable number of shards. George landed in a lump of dust
causing it to drift into the sky. The two heroes ran outside and watched
as the guinea pig pulled itself up.
Ranae stopped but Kosmy kept running not being able to control his
anger. George picked up a stick, standing on his hind legs and running
towards Kosmy. George jumped onto Kosmy's back and started
cracking the stick over his head all the while squealing insults, "Take
this you butt!" Crack, "Fob!" Ponk. Ranae ran forward and flung a
roundhouse kick trying to boot the oversized rat off of Kosmiath.
"Nige!" called Kosmy as George lept off his back causing the foot of
Ranae to connect, knocking him unconscious.
By the time his eyes saw light again Ranae had George pinned to the
ground. "You rat!" Ranae was yelling, the guinea pig was squeaking,
trying to break free. Kosmy ran forward and slammed George onto the
ground. George began to lose consciousness.
"Why are you trying to destroy the museum?" "I only want what's best
for you" George wheezed. "What?"
George explained,
"Luke...
I mean Kosmiath...
I...
Am...
Your father."
"That's not true!" Kosmiath said, "That's impossible!" And George
drifted out of consciousness.
"That's it?" Kosmiath asked walking towards a tree.
"Yep." Ranae said,
"What next?"
"Nothing"
"We saved the day,"
He said taking a hold of her hand. She pulled away, "not so fast," she
said laughing, "I still hate you!"
The End
Written in collaboration by
writing group Team SLA or
Team Smells Like Awesome,
Cantankerous is an adventure
taking place in an intergalactic
world where the universe is the
limit. Aimed at 13 to 15 year
olds the novel follows the tale
of Kosmiath, a curator of a
museum and President of the
Antique Fashions Club. Forced
into an unlikely alliance with
Ranae, a garbage collecter,
they embark on an adventure
that will change them forever.