WEDDING CRASHERS
J: Hi is Chaz here?
Chaz’s Mom: (yelling unapologetically) Chaz there’s someone here to see you! BEAT
PICK UP YOUR FUCKING SKATEBOARD.
J – Chaz?
Chaz – What the Fuck do you want?
J- John Beckwith. I’m friend with Jeremy Gray
Chaz- G-d Damnit, why didn’t you say so?! Come here Brother! Give me a hug! Bring
it in for the real thing! Have a seat. Damn you! …I almost nunchuked you. …You
don’t even realize.
J – Is this your place?
C – No, no, no no. I live with my Mom.
j-oh
C-you hungry? …”HEY MOM, CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF”.
J- CHaz, I think I’m okay. I had a bite before I came over. I think I’m okay. Thank you.
C-you sure?
J-Yea
C-How’s my protégé? Jeremy!...J-Bone
J-J bone believe it or not is getting married.
C- What?! Laugh….what an idiot! Oh what a loser! Good, Good, more for me and you!
(Hot girl enters) She says “I gotta go” …Yea babe you do what you gotta do.
They Kiss
C-I’m just living the dream.
J-Oh man, I’m like wow! …I come over and I don’t know what to expect. It’s like, I’m
trying to get my bearings, there’s cartoons and your Mom and you still got it! Look at
her! God you still got it! ..You know what, I will have some meat loaf.
C-You want some? I knew you would-HEY MOM-THE MEATLOAF! WE WANT IT
NOW. THE MEATLOAF. What is she doing? I never know what she’s doing….back
there.
J- Living the dream. Where’d you get that girl?
C-I got her yesterday.
J-Yesterday?
C-Yea, I rode my bike over to the cemetery. Her Boyfriend just died.
J-You met her at a funeral?
C-Yea. Dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot. Ohhh I’m
HANGGLIDING….HUNNY TAKE A GOOD PICTURE I’M DEAD. Haha What a freak.
Haha
j-Met her at a funeral…
C-Yea. I will throw in a wedding every now and then. But funerals are insane. The
chicks are so horny. It’s not even fair…it’s like fishing with dynamite.
J-Horny?
C-yea. Crazy horny.
J-at a funeral?
C-Grief is natures most powerful aphrodisiac
j-Wow. I didn’t know that
C-look it up. That’s what I’ve learned. MOM THE MEATLOAF! FUCK! Saturday. I got
one Saturday. You’re coming with!
J-I’m sorry, I’m not judging you, because I think you’re an innovator, but there’s no
way I am ready for that.