COMENIUS MULTILATERAL PARTNERSHIP
2013-2015
TRAINING FOR LIFE: LEADERSHIP
INITIATIVE FOR EUROPE
CHAPTER XIII
PEOPLE VALUES
Utena, 2014
1
Introduction
“Today we can often hear /…/ such thoughts: we live in an era of pluralism and liberty,
when each of us has the right to express one’s viewpoint and when distinct lines between truth
and lie, good and evil, higher and lower, light and darkness are hopelessly sinking into the past.
Thus it is necessary to learn to live in an atmosphere of tolerance and an endless variety of
opinions and viewpoints, refraining from strict value judgements and even more so from
condemnation. If such so-called spirituality exists, then it is expressed by the absolute freedom of
your self-expression and the recognition of such a right for other people.” /A. V. Ivanov/
And nevertheless, without spiritual values, an authentic, full-fledged life is simply
impossible. “Spiritual values are infinite, but material possessions are finite. This means that
with one’s own will having chosen a way of creating based on the principles of good, truth and
beauty, a person in a multitude of acts of life and material forms can embody good, truth and
beauty, constantly deepening his or her understanding of them and perfecting his or her creative
abilities. So all through life it is possible to improve in one or another craft or art, getting to
know other people, consciously controlling one’s thoughts and emotions, acquiring positive
personal qualities and getting rid of the bad features of one’s character. There is no ceiling for
such activity, there are no limits to such growth. The further you travel the way of the spirit, the
wider the horizons open up before you, the grander and more difficult the tasks become. And
only death can bring the earthly improvement of a human to an end.
And, on the other hand, it is impossible to consume a greater quantity of delicious food
than one’s organism permits; it is impossible to drive more than one luxury automobile
simultaneously; it is impossible to sleep in two soft beds simultaneously or to wear two
fashionable suits at the same time. Any attempt to think that the finite material needs of a person
can in and of themselves be infinite, as consumption increases, not only spiritually impoverishes,
but, most importantly of all, irreversibly damages a person’s body and soul, mind and psyche.
After all, more and more refined pleasures are desired, and yet the strength and health necessary
to enjoy them unavoidably diminish over time, and in addition, with age certain sensual
pleasures become less and less appropriate.” /A. V. Ivanov/
The achievements of modern technology and the triumph of democracy have opened the
doors to a new world, to a world in which everything is permitted and possible. Unfortunately,
starting from their earliest days, children encounter the painful reality that the “coolest” one in
2
the classroom is the one who has the latest model of smartphone, and among adults the most
intelligent and best is the one who has the most money. So civilisation advances, when expensive
items and money replace love and friendship, and drugs and parties sedate the conscience and the
soul. The shining present in technologies and expensive toys changes not only the view of life
and way of thinking, but even needs themselves. Data from a study carried out by the auditing
and consulting giant Deloitte showed that for youth from 14 to 25, the ways and tools for
spending free time are the internet, mobile telephones and digital television. /Komunikatoriai,
2013, http://dreamteam12.blogas.lt/ar-siuolaikines-technologijos-keicia-jaunimo-vertybes105.html /
So often the young generation is described as

lacking values or valuing only themselves;

constantly rebelling and denying authority;

not feeling a sense of responsibility (duty). / http://zebra.15min.lt/lt/video/siuolaikiniojaunimo-vertybes.html /
3
VALUES
Leadership deals with values. Moral leadership requires taking into account values and
provide sufficient knowledge of the followers of the alternatives that they themselves make
informed choices when it comes time to decide to follow the leader or not.
W.Bennis
It all starts with our personality inside and the main axis of our inside is, in
particular, values. Perhaps because of the ignorance of their values or because of unconscious
ignorance, the majority of people raise not their own goals but imposed by the environment, so
often they do not reach the goals or they are unhappy to reach them. // // Academy of Selfrealization
In the psychological literature values are understood as "an object, process or
phenomenon that provides the greatest importance to the personality, the ratio with which the
personality ego is important and which determines the orientation of the activity of personality"
Value to a human is a point of reference of life, it gives the meaning to the activity,
includes the image structure of the I personality. Discovering values and their realization make
life meaningful unconditionally. Values are included in the personal motivational structure, give
a certain direction to our activity and regulate behaviour.
According to the traditional definition, values would be as "specific characteristics
of the objects in the world around us and meanings having a positive meaning to a human, the
team, the society" (Talbot, M. 2003).
Values include the beliefs, activities, opinions, moral norms, traditions, selfregulation, the imagination and public opinion, but also has a longer list of more objective and
material things.
Values accompany us every day - help to distinguish good from evil, to evaluate
everything according to one‘s value system, formed by parents who travelled long forming in
different systems and modes. Values help us to move forward, plan and create our future.
4
Human behavior is influenced by the person‘s inner, psychological features, one‘s
experience, situational state and the conditions of the environment in which the action and
communication take place. It is known that among the internal, psychological person‘s
characteristics, the system of values is important to the behavior.
http://www.tavosekme.lt/news/piramid%C4%97s%20principas/ - a video about values(Lt)
There are many values - complex, of many meanings, sometimes hard to
understand, which are applied to very limited areas. There is a hierarchy of values in which they
are positioned according to their relevance, significance, impact of strength.
There are a number of common, universally accepted values, and each person has
his or her own values - those that are valuable to him or her. Each person is controlled by an
individual value system shaped by parents, customs, traditions, personal qualities and a lot of
factors.
J. Vveinhardt and E. Gulbovaitė („The diagnosis of personal and organizational
congruence values in Lithuanian organizations“. Management of organizations: systematic
research, 2012) distinguish the following groups of values:
• Economic
• Physical
• Moral
• Social
• Spiritual
• Aesthetic
• Professional
Eternal values - are the core parts of the human life and existence plan, they are
resistant to the time, they are passed from generation to generation, remain in people's minds as
major life goals, aims. Temporary values are not timeless, because they change when a human
grows, both physically and spiritually.
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Values - this is essential for each human as a personal thing, but they must be
combined with the values of the whole society in which one lives.
Lithuanian dictionary defines values as "worthy, expensive item or thing" or "a
positive feature“.
A human must cherish what he/she has, because only then the human will be cherished by
other, and be able to enjoy a happy and balanced life.
Values are essential for every human being; however, they must be combined with the
values of the whole society in which they live.
In the Lithuanian language, the word ‘values’ is defined as ‘an expensive, worthy object or
thing’ or ‘a positive characteristic’.
Values are specific characteristic features of our world and meanings which are of
great significance to every personality, community or society. Objects and phenomena
become values only due to the fact that they become involved in the spheres of existence of the
human society. Therefore, values are the objects and phenomena dependent on the society that
satisfy any need of a human and have a positive meaning.
A man has to value what he possess as only then he will be valued by others and will be
able to enjoy a happy and balanced life.
„Moral values of the young generation significantly differ from those of the previous one:
beliefs and traditions have been trampled, the cult of virginity has almost disappeared.
The videos shown on TV today make us worry: we see undressed people demonstrating
themselves in front of the camera in public. They seem to have no beliefs or virtues. So what
example do they show our youth? They openly demonstrate their property and are paid good
money for that later. In one video clip, there was a boy eating money. Isn’t that trivial? In this
case the money he gets for the video symbolically means ‘rubbish’. Does such behavior deserve
better pay? However, such videos are watched by millions of people, most of whom are young.
They instill an idea to young people that money is everything, it becomes the core of their life.“
/http://www.technologijos.lt/n/zmoniu_pasaulis/straipsnis/Atvirai-apie-siuolaikinio-jaunimovertybes?name-straipsnis—4253-1/
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What do our young people think about values?
„The word ‘value’ rarely appears in young people’s life. We live according to the rules.
Does this fact surprise you? In spite of beauty and a variety of material things, the world hasn’t
become perfect. Nothing is new under the Sun. Everything changes except for the human’s
nature. From our early days we encounter cruel reality where only the best, the strongest, the
cleverest have a chance to survive. If you aren’t one of them, it hurts you, but later it makes you
stronger. The saying ‘If you don’t win, you lose’ becomes the motto of many young people.“
„Freedom. All people wish to be free, but everyone has a different idea of freedom.
For me it is a possibility to make a decision independently, while most of my peers feel free
when they get drunk at the weekend. That is why some parents’ efforts they make to limit their
child’s freedom seem quite wise.“
„We want to be modern and fashionable, we want to shine in public, at least in the circle
of our friends. Individuality? It seems to be much easier to join the crowd and become like
everyone. It is easier to agree rather than disagree, to betray rather than protect what is dear to
you because you need spiritual strength for that, which you do not always have.“
„Most of us enjoy playing with other people’s lives and love. We don’t believe in purity
of feelings and devotion. We think that the openness of our heart or sincerity of our feelings is
our weakness. We are sure that someone shows their love to us only when they need something
from us.“
„We just live as we want. Studies, dances, parties, television, the Internet… What a
colorful carousel. For many people such life is vain and meaningless, but we just enjoy it.“
So, nowadays young people’s values are changing along with our civilization.
Not feelings but cold mind dominates in their lives. The media and money replace sincere
relationships while strong drinks and entertainment ‘clear’ the soul, comfort the conscience
helping to live without love. This is the cruel reality.
However, in spite of all this, there are still a lot of young people with strong moral
principles who believe in life and true love.
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According to the research on young Lithuanians’ honesty recently completed by order of
the Lithuanian Department of Transparency International‘’(TILS), ‘’young people value
honesty’’.
However, most of the respondents tend to excuse certain forms of dishonesty, eg. paying
quid pro quo for a favor or using contacts for solving personal problems.
Today the most important value for young people is the harmonious family as it was
chosen by 99 per cent of the respondents. Honesty and higher education came straight after that
while property, money and pubic acceptance were ranked the last.
According to the young people, „a successful person is someone who has a harmonious
family, is honest and has succeeded in his/her career.“
Here are a few more characteristic features typical for the young generation:

treating themselves as stars

rejecting authorities

optimism
/Simona Aginskaitė, LRT radio programme Sounds of the Morning/
http://zebra.15min.lt/video/kanalas/pramogu-akademija/lietuviu-vertybes.html/

Young people - immature who want to try everything by their own.

The maximalism of youngsters-everything is black or white.

The most important values-friends,company and love.

Young people value what is important for the present (mainly,for today) and do not care
about the future, calmly live with their own families who will always do everything
instead of youngsters regardless the conditions.
The behavior of person are closely related with values, beliefs, goals and needs that are
important for making the decisions. Anyway, in most of the cases everybody behaves similarly
and it's caused by values which come from childhood and stay till the end of life.
All values are interconnected according to their hierarchy. In another words-all values
depend on the most important value. If we know the most important value, we can explain or
change (by paying more attention to another value) our behavior.
8
It is essential to know the most important value of each individual. Knowing it helps to
make right decisions while thinking or having a doubt about future. Cognition of the most
important value provides clarity in life and just because of it life becomes calmer and more
clear.
Researches of values
The very first psychological empirical value research which was initiated by American
psychologist G. Allport (1951) who was inspired by Shpanger value typology (theoretical,
economical, aesthetic, social, political and religious values) and created 45 questions to
investigate these values. The researcher thought that one of the most important individual
features - the philosophy of life which consists of values that are typical for everybody but are
different in levels and combinations.
M. Rokeach created a definition of value as something that person takes for granted for a
long time and what is really important for life.
Value - prolonged belief that there is a particular behavior or condition as a goal of
existence which is individually or socially more acceptable, likable in comparison
with other types of behavior or goals of life that are different.
All these beliefs are associated with important connections and exist in consciousness of
person as hierarchical structure. The uniqueness of hierarchy of values are caused by the age of
maturity, culture, institutions, society and genetics. The values work in the thoughts, feelings and
actions of people.
M. Rokeach distinguishes 36 values in total dividing them into two groups: terminal and
instrumental. Terminal values are approached as certain goals of life such as family security,
peace in the world, experience of beauty in nature and art, comfortable life (without material
difficulties), equality, freedom, pleasure, salvation, social recognition. Instrumental values are
perceived as certain behavioral techniques and tools used for achieving goals and are usually
related to personality characteristics such as tidiness, rationality, civility, honesty, courage,
responsibility, self-control, open-mindedness.
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Values that are important for people existence and meaning of life are caused by
culture and become clear in principles of everyday life. It could be noted that values are
closely related with professional life and help for competition. Their existence is not isolated
as they are interconnected and make solid/integral hierarchical structure. Every person has
clearly individual hierarchy of values.
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THE THEORY FOR MOTYVATION
Abraham Harold Maslow (April 1, 1908 – June 8, 1970) was an American
psychologist who was best known for creating Maslow's hierarchy of needs, a
theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs in
priority, culminating in self-actualization. Maslow and other humanistic
psychologists and their researches helped to form the basics of positive
psychology (1998).
I.
A. H. MASLOW
Pyramid of A. H. Maslow
Alternative way to explain person‘s behaviour is to realise one‘s needs which have to be
satisfied.According to the theory of Maslow there are 5 needs levels which impact person‘s
behaviour:

physiological needs: food, water, shelter;

security needs: protection from hazards, threats and troubles;

social needs: addiction to any group, feeling, friendship, support;

the need to be respected and recognized: self-esteem, reputation, status, respect
and recognition from the people around;

the need of self-actualization: the need to express abilities in order to seek
constant perfection.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hplaY196ARw – video about Maslow pyramid. (Eng)
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In conclusion, we can understand Maslow‘s theory like that: one must satisfy lower level
basic needs before progressing on to meet higher level growth needs. Once these needs have
been reasonably satisfied, one may be able to reach the highest level called self-actualization.
Every person is capable and has the desire to move up the hierarchy toward a level of selfactualization.
Maslow tried to define the optimal human adaptation. His views are based on researches of
famous people who reached the highest level of self-actualization. For this he analyzed the
biographies of many famous people such as Jefferson, Albert Einshtein, Eleonor Roosevelt,
William James, Albert Schweitzer, Baruch Spinoza. He distinguishes common features:
1. A more realistic approach to the world.
2. The higher self and other acceptance rate.
3. Increased spontaneity and a better self-knowledge.
4. Better concentration on problems.
5. They need more solitude and privacy.
6. Increased autonomy and resistance to external influences.
7. more sincere expression of joy and a wider range of emotional reactions.
8. More often experience extraordinary excitement.
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9. Increased social activity.
10. Deeper and full of love relationships.
11. More democratic character.
12. Such people better distinguish the good from the bad, measures from goals.
13. Unusual sense of humor.
14. Increased creativity.
II.
K. ALDERFER
In 1972 another motivation theory was announced – K. Alderfer’s ERG theory. He divided
A. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs into 3 levels:
E – Existence needs (physiology and safety);
R – Relation (Relatedness) needs (belonging and respect);
G – Development (Growth) needs (freedom of expression).
There are two key moments that differentiate the two theories.
The first moment, according to K Alderfer, is that the needs from different levels can
influence people’s motives at the same time, e.g., a desire to have money (E), to have friends (R)
and the possibility to acquire new knowledge (G). K. Alderfer believes that superior and inferior
needs can co-exist.
The other important moment of K. Alderfer’s theory is the possibility of the reverse
process. If a person being at a higher level of needs feels that his lower-level needs are not
satisfied, he regresses descending to the original level.
Human beings are fragile and vulnerable. Everyone has the label "Handle with care, use with
caution, fragile product”
Bruno Ferrero
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TESTING THE VALUES OF LIFE
VALUE SYSTEM
Values are fundamental believes that show what is right, good in life and how it should
be, and what is wrong, bad in life or how it shouldn’t be.
Following our value system we evaluate the entire world, people around us, our relatives,
their behaviour, their life and the life of ourselves. After we have evaluated what happens, what
we have got or what we have achieved, we decide whether we are “valuable” and whether our
life is “good” and “right”.
We often forget that the real image of a social world doesn’t exist and that its whole
consists of more than six billions of different worlds and different images. The “rightness” of the
image depends just on our agreement. So, whatever we think about it, our evaluations are shaped
by culture, era, traditions, upbringing and personal experience.
…when you take a bus, you normally know the
bus stop you will get out at. Of course, you can save
your money and go on foot, you can leave your bus
earlier and reach your bus stop on foot or you can miss
it, because you have found out that it’s not the bus stop
you need.
You should find out the bus stops leading to the goals of your life. Remember that you can
always change your mind, take another bus or even choose to fly.
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ASSIGNMENT
Step 6. Do not destroy your written
results of this task.
Step 5. Now that you know what and why is
so important, try to leave only one out of three
values. Leave the one, without having reached
which, you would simply not exist.
Step 4. Next to these three you have to write a description
of how you understand them and why they are so essential
to you. You need to describe each of the values chosen in
order to specify your goals-in-life.
Step 3. Cross out two more things. Now you‘ve deleted your
„passport“ and „signature“.
Step 2. Select only five from the list of ten things and cross out the rest five.
Now you have a direct way leading to your aim: things that you‘ve crossed out
are your bus, plane, feet and other means to ease your trip.
Step 1. First of all, choose 10 things from the value list which seem to be the most
important, without which you would‘t be you and your life would only mean a poor
existence but not a God-given gift.
Consider your choises after a month, 6 months, a year and finally 5 years. In case your opinion
on three ( or maybe even five ) most important values haven‘t changed during this period, it
means that You know where you want to be when you are 90, you have a mature approach to
life. These three or five things are your guiding stars. Unhesitatingly concentrate your will to
achieve the goals and resist to your weaknesses and environmental impact if needed.
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Values

Honor (awareness)

Career

Competitions, desire to win and victory (risky, but promising decisions)

Friendship (close relationship with other people)

Love ( in the broadest sense : tenderness, care, affection)

Wisdom and wit ( discovery, knowledge, grasping phenomena)

Support, help, cooperation ( reaching a good together with other people, teamwork)

Happiness of family

Personal achievements ( success and reached goals)

Wealth (money, corporeal property)

Economic peace (,,rich is not the one who has a lot, but the one who is satisfied with
everything he has”)

Independence and autonomy ( freedom to do and be)

Adherence to principle, honesty, morality

Inner harmony ( personal integrity, no presences of inner conflicts )

Art and creativity ( opportunity and ability to create)

Social usefulness ( helping someone close, contribution to the public welfare)

Self – improvement and the usage of your own potential

Self – respect ( dignity, personal identity, faith in your own value )

Recognition ( status, public respect)

Health

Religion ( strong religious and spiritual faiths in God)

Loyalty

Adventures ( new challenges, lightweight adventures)

Communication/participation ( being among people, operating together)

Economic security ( guarantees on the financial term of tomorrow)

Joy of life and pleasures (fun accidents, laughter, the slow style of life)

Authority (authority, opportunity to control , ability to influence others)

A sense of duty and responsibility
16

Order ( conformation, compliance with the rules and traditions, peacefulness of
relationships)

Relatives (strong feelings of dependence towards family, one’s roots)

Culture and nationality ( racial and ethnical identity ,for example, Samogitian or Lithuanian
)

Equality ( equal opportunities for all)

Freedom ( the freedom of thought and action)

Exciting life (stimulating, interesting experience)

The significance of life ( the goal of life)

Politeness ( good manners )

National safety ( to protect one’s homeland from enemies )

World peace (the world without wars and conflicts )

Respect for traditions ( to save traditions)

Self – discipline ( abstention the resistance to temptations )

Indifference towards the world (detachment from earthy worries)

Family safety (the safety and prosper of those we love )

Unity with nature

Life variety ( life which is full of challenges, new things and changes)

Wisdom (mature view on life)

Real friendship ( close relationships)

The beauty of the world ( the beauty of nature and art)

Social justice ( to remedy the injustice, to take care of weaker ones)

Moderation( to avoid extremes of thought and action)

Ambition ( to be industrious and reach a career)

Open – mindedness ( to be tolerant to different ideas and beliefs)

Humility( modesty)

Bravery ( to be risky and adventurous)

Influence ( to influence people and events)

Respect parents and older people

Possession and pursuit of goals
17

Abilities ( expertise, efficiency)

Passivity ( come to terms with the fact what life brings)

Honesty ( confidence, sincerity )

To preserve a good image in society

Devotion to duty, obligations

Intellectuality ( logicalness and thinking)

Hospitality

Dedication ( to follow religious beliefs)

Responsibility ( to be reliable)

Curiosity ( to be interested in everything and explore)

Indulgence (to forgive others)

Successfulness ( to reach aims)

Cleanliness / order ( to be neat)

……………………………( fill in what has not been mentioned or is very important to you)
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LITERATŪRA
1.
Suslavičius A. Socialinė psichologija. Vilniaus universitetas. 2006
2.
Debats D. L. & Bartelds B. F. The structure of human values: a principal components
analysis of the rokeach value survey (rvs), 2005. <http://dissertations.ub.rug.nl/ >
3.
Gelder M. United states‘ values: perceptions of american military and japanese civilians.
2003. <http://www.webster.edu/peacepsychology/ >
4.
Whisenand P. M. Values and value systems. 1981. <http://cc.ysu.edu/ >
5.
Voida A. & Mynatt E. D. Conveying user values between families and designers. 2005.
www.interaction-design.org
6.
http://www.worldvaluessurvey.org/
7.
http://www.tikratiesa.lt/maslow-poreiki-hierarchija-t760.html
8.
http://www.tavosekme.lt/news/piramid%C4%97s%20principas/
9.
http://humanresources.about.com/od/leadership/a/leader_values.htm Leadership Values
and Ethics
10.
http://www.forbes.com/2011/04/26/values-based-leadership.html The Only True
Leadership Is Values-Based Leadership
11.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyaprive/2012/12/19/top-10-qualities-that-make-a-great-
leader/ Top 10 Qualities That Make A Great Leader
12.
http://www.leader-values.com/leaders.php?lid=119 - apie žymius žmones
13.
http://www.ronedmondson.com/2011/10/7-personal-values-as-a-leader.html - 7 Personal
Values as a Leader
14.
http://theleadershipprogram.com/who-we-are/core-values/ - Who We Are Our Core
Values
15.
http://ebooks.cambridge.org/chapter.jsf?bid=CBO9780511753770&cid=CBO978051175
3770A017 7 - Leadership values that enable extraordinary success pp. 132-150 By Kim S.
Cameron 2006/ 2010 (OnLine)
16.
The Genesis of Values Paperback – April 1, 2001 by Hans Joas
17.
http://www.slideshare.net/ManieBosman/values-based-leadership - Value Based
Leadership
18.
Leading Change: The Argument For Values-Based Leadership by James O'Toole , 1996
19.
Rutledge, P. 2011. “Social Networks: What Maslow Misses.” Internetinė prieiga: http://
19
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/positively-media/201111/social-networks-whatmaslowmisses-0
20.
Sagnak, M. 2005. “The Value Congruence Levels of Principals and Teachers at Primary
Schools.” Educational Sciences: Theory & Practice 5 (1): 221–228. Internetinė prieiga:
http://www.academia.edu/1394088/The_Value_Congruence_Levels_of_Principals_and_Teacher
s_At_Primary_Schools
21.
È di notte che si vedono le stelle. Piccole storie per l'anima (Italian) Perfect Paperback –
1 May 2012, Bruno Ferrero
22.
http://hayyalee.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/List-of-Personal-Values1.pdf - vertybių
sąrašas
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Annex 1
21
Annex 2
SHORT STORIES FOR DISCUSSIONS
STARFISH
On the sea, a great storm was raging. When it calmed down, the whole shore was left strewn
with mud, in which countless starfish were wriggling in agony. There were so many of them that
the beach looked all red.
The phenomenon attracted people from all over the coast. A few TV groups arrived to film the
strange scene. The starfish were almost motionless. They languished.
Among the people, holding on his father‘s hand, stood a little boy. His eyes were full of sorrow.
Everybody was watching but nobody did anything.
Suddenly the boy let go of his father’s hand, took off his shoes, pulled off his socks and started
to run towards the shore. Having reached it, he bent down, took three tiny starfish with his small
hands and brought them to the water. After that he returned and did the same again. A man
standing on the concrete parapet shouted to him, ‘‘What are you doing, sonny?”
‘‘I’m taking the starfish back to the sea. Otherwise they’re going to die,’’ replied the boy.
“But there are thousands of them on the beach. You won’t save all of them,’’ the man carried on
shouting. “It happens everywhere on all the beaches along the coastline. You can’t change it.”
The boy smiled, then he bent down for one more starfish and having thrown it into the water
replied, “ Yes, I can. I’ve already changed it.”
The man did not say anything. After a moment he took off his shoes and socks and climbed
down to the beach. He started collecting the starfish and throwing them to the water. Soon two
more boys joined them. After a few minutes there were a lot of people throwing starfish from the
shore to the water.
Thus all the starfish were rescued.
Sometimes even a small one can save the world if he dares.
SILENCE
Once a man visited a monk who was leading the life of a recluse and asked him, “What have
you learned living in silence?”
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Drawing water from a well, the monk answered, “Look into the depth of the well. What can you
see?”
The man glanced quickly. “There is nothing there,” he said.
The monk stood motionless for a while, then he said to his guest,” Have a look again. What can
you see now?”
Having glanced over, the man answered, “Now I can see myself as the water is still like a
mirror.”
The monk said, “ When I immersed the bucket, I roiled the water. But after the while it calmed.
This is the wisdom of silence – to see yourself.
*****
Once there lived two lumps of ice. Both of them were born in the middle of the winter in a dense
mountain forest in a cave among stumps, branches and rocks. However, they were emphatically
indifferent to each other and their communication remained cold. Just good morning and good
evening and nothing more. They never managed to “break the ice” between them. Each of them
thought to himself, “He could come up to me.” But the lumps of ice could not move on their
own, so nothing changed and they remained in their places.
In the same cave there lived a badger. One day he said, “ What a beautiful day. It’s a pity you
have to stick in this cave.”
The two lumps crackled. They had known for all their lives that the sun was dangerous to them.
However, one of them dared to ask, “ What is it like? I mean, the sun.”
“It is beautiful. It is… life,” said the badger.
The other lump of ice added, “Could you make a hole at the top of the cave? I’d like to see the
sun very much…”
The badger did not need to be asked twice. He made a hole between the roots immediately and
the bright sunlight flooded the cave.
After a few months, at midday, when the sun warmed up the air, one lump noticed that he began
to melt. He felt that he had changed and was not the same lump of ice as earlier. And so felt the
other one. Day after day, small streams of water were streaming from the lumps of ice towards
the opening in the cave forming a small crystal lake which reflected the blue of the sky. The
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lumps were still feeling their coldness, fragility, loneliness and uncertainty; however, they started
to realize that they were similar and that they needed each other.
Soon two thistle-finches, a lark, a swarm of insects and a squirrel arrived to quench their thirst
with fresh water. Seeing their happiness, the two lumps of ice realized that they also had a heart.
---Sometimes just a kind word, a greeting, a hug or a smile can be the thing that matters. These
small things can make the people next to us happy. So why don’t we do that?
EVALUATION
Once the Eagle, the king of birds, heard other animals praising the Nightingale’s talents. As a
good king, he decided to make certain if it was the truth. He sent two subordinates – the Skylark
and the Peacock – to evaluate the nightingale’s beauty and song. The messengers accomplished
the task and returned to the Eagle.
The Peacock spoke first. “The Nightingale’s feathers are so plain that they made me laugh. He
looked ugly to me and I did not pay attention to his song,” said the Peacock.
Then it was the Skylark’s turn. “The Nightingale’s trill fascinated me so much that I did not even
notice his feathers, ” said the Lark.
(Bruno Ferrero. 365 stories for the soul. Vilnius. The Catholic World Issues. 2011)
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Annex 3.
Topics for discussions

Gratitude is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all others. (Cicero)

A victory against oneself is better than a victory against all others. (Dhammapada)

Nothing is more valuable than time.

Young people’s values today.

It is important to have a friend you can rely on.

Want to lose your friends? Give up drinking and smoking.

Having a talent can create an illusion that work is not necessary. Unfortunately, the reality is
different.

Nowadays we rarely believe in disinterested help.

When we cannot turn the reality into a dream, we make a dream come true.

“I want everything and I want it now.” (Queen)

The word ‘virtue’ is rare in the youth’s lexicon. We follow the rules.

“Social networking is a new mechanism of self-imprisonment. People create virtual happy cells
for themselves where they pass their time with pleasure without taking part in any special
activities.” (philosopher G. Mažeikis, professor of Vytautas Magnus University)
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