Running head: PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
Personal Learning Paper
Tiffany Woods
Concordia University
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
Jouvence was a challenging and beneficial experience for me. While alternating between
participating group member and bystander (to get a helicopter view) I had the opportunity to intervene
within different human systems (Self Managed Group (SMG), Consulting Group (CG), Town Hall, Cohort
and Community at large) and observe as group dynamics played out. My understanding and
interpretation of group behavior was influenced by theory, as presented by Jim Gavin and Don de
Guerre (in their morning lectures), through my personal readings in the AHSC 610 course pack, and by
Theories of Small Group Development (Kass, 2008). To support my reflections in this personal learning
summary, I will make reference to these aforementioned sources of knowledge, as well as to the
feedback I received from my colleagues. I requested feedback from my SMG and CG members on the
same two questions in order to be able to compare and contrast my behavior in these two human
systems. The questions I thought would be most helpful were, first, “A readiness to take risks - tell
others how you are feeling, face negative feedback or hostility, or take a personal position on a
controversial issue affecting the system [task accomplishment or systemic structures and processes]”
and second, “The ability to observe, identify, and intervene in a wide range of group behaviors,
structures, and processes (individual, interpersonal and group-in-context)”. I will begin with my personal
learning’s as intervener, stating areas of strength and areas for development, in my SMG. Next, I will
explain the practical strategies I want to put in place in order to transform my challenges into my assets.
I will then reflect on my competencies as intervener in my CG and highlight the differences and
similarities I demonstrated while acting in this latter role in my Town Hall, Cohort and Community. To
conclude my paper, I will summarize the various learning objectives that I have set and explain the
practical strategies I want to put in place in order to transform my areas for development into my
assets. Before proceeding, it is important to note that this personal learning summary includes my own
insights and that its content is therefore not based on fact.
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
The predominant role I took in my SMG was that of an observer. This is both a self-reflection
and was confirmed by the feedback I received by Lynnea and Delia (see Appendix A). When working with
a new group I try to get a sense of others before I act. I want to base my interventions on what I think is
most helpful and appropriate. I also conduct myself in this manner in order to judge how my suggestions
and opinions will be received. In further reflection on my frequent observer role in groups, I uncovered
that my willingness to share and be open in a group depends on how much compassion and
understanding I feel exists in the group. When I feel this is lacking, I fall back on my safety net. I then
remain in my observer role in order to perceive when the climate is right for me to trust in the group.
When relating this behavior to Gibb’s TORI Theory of Trust Formation as explained by Kass (2008), I
realize that I was not very trusting in my SMG. This reflection is supported by the feedback I received
from Tracey (see Appendix A). I wanted to sense just how much I could trust the group before taking any
risks. According to Gibb, trust builds trust (Kass, 2008). If I do not initiate trust building behavior, such as
sharing and being who I am, and rather wait until it is safe to do so, how can I ever intervene in
situations whereby an intervention (maybe even arising out of a lack of trust) is necessary? In my self
evaluation, I gave myself a 6 on a 10-point scale for the competency related to my “ability to observe,
identify, and intervene in a wide range of group behaviors, structures, and processes (individual,
interpersonal and group-in-context)” (see Appendix B). Although I believe I am good at observing and
identifying what is occurring, I know I have much personal work to do in order to be a successful
intervener. My first learning objective is to take more risks in order to be effective in this latter role,
especially when in a wide range of situations. I realize that in more readily taking risks to share and be
open I will help to build trust.
It is evident to me that the competencies I sought out feedback on are strongly interrelated.
Tracey and Delia’s feedback to me, regarding my “readiness to take risks - tell others how you are
feeling, face negative feedback or hostility, or take a personal position on a controversial issue affecting
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
the system [task accomplishment or systemic structures and processes]”, reiterates that I initially held
back in our SMG (see Appendix A). Although my first learning objective addresses this point, I wanted to
reflect further on my ability to be open in order to establish a thorough action plan. In doing so, an
important mention is that from day one at Jouvence, when I saw that Tracey and I would participate in
the same group, I knew I would have an even greater opportunity for personal growth than I had
anticipated. The reason I had this reaction was because of my experience of Tracey at the initial
interview for the M.A. program. In our interaction, I experienced her reject my compassion towards her
as she described her interview. Later at Jouvence, in May, I thought her affect lacked warmth and
acceptance and I struggled with this as we worked together in our group. I knew that having Tracey in
my group in my second Jouvence retreat would challenge me as my primary focus was to build strong
interpersonal relationships with my colleagues. The experience did just that, and now in reflection, I
realize more deeply how I can grow in order to take more risks and be more open.
My SMG experience and Jouvence theoretical learning have helped me become aware that in
order to attain my first learning goal of openness, I want to first increase my level self-acceptance and
acceptance-of-other. Gibb’s first modal concern in his TORI Theory of Trust Formation is acceptance
(Kass, 2008). I judge myself constantly and I know I do so of others too. I want to accept myself as I am.
Increasing my self -acceptance will allow me place less emphasis on other’s opinions of me. While at
Jouvence, because of my low level of self- acceptance, I placed a great emphasis on how my group
perceived me. When Tracey, whom I thought held the power in the group, gave her feedback to the
group, I felt rejected and unworthy of contributing. Her feedback to the SMG labeled Riham, Martha and
I as indirect communicators who were bogging down the group. My participation quickly became more
restricted as I believed I was incapable of communicating and participating effectively. Tracey wanted
the group to communicate as she, Delia and Lynnea did in order to be more productive. In reflection,
this seems like a fair intervention. Tracey described what she observed. My reaction to it was typical (of
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
me) as I know I often do not accept criticism well. I now realize that this too is because of my lack of selfacceptance. I interpreted her criticism as a discredit to my value within the group. I believe that with
heightened self-acceptance I will act less defensively. Subsequently, I will be better able to hear the
opinions of others as their viewpoints that I can honor and calmly reflect on. My increased selfacceptance will feed my acceptance-of-other. I want to remain cognizant that interpersonal differences
are what inspire, build and foster inter and intra personal growth. Self- acceptance and acceptance-ofother, my second and third learning objectives, are pivotal to my personal development. In turn, I will be
a more effective group intervener.
As a group’s dynamic is shaped by each individual participant, it is not surprising to me that my
SMG changed greatly when Tracey left to participate in the Cohort CG. Positive individual encounters
with the remaining members assured me that I was accepted in the SMG, and, subsequently I felt
empowered to take more risks. Interestingly, the feedback my SMG gave me of when I took risks and
acted in a more open manner was positive. Lynnea mentioned that I stepped into a Leadership role and
started risking more as I expressed differences of opinion overtly (see Appendix A). Riham and Martha
noted that I asserted myself and asked questions when I was confused (see Appendix A).
My experience in my Consulting Group (CG) was the human system I felt most safe in. I
therefore behaved most authentically in this human system while at Jouvence. In reflection, I think that
the nature and purpose of the CG initially helped foster the safe space that our group of 3 created.
Contributing to my CG’s culture of trust was my prior experience of both Chris and Kladja as warm and
caring individuals. I took the risk to explain that I felt unaccepted in my SMG. Compassion, warmth and
reassurance expressed both overtly and covertly encouraged me to continue to be open. I trusted Chris
and Kladja and felt that this sentiment remained consistent over the week as I continued to share,
intervene and accept feedback. The feedback I received from Chris and Kladja support the feelings of
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
trust that I had in my CG to risk and be open (see Appendix A). My CG members highlighted some
strength’s which benefit me as an intervener. They include my ability to “make steady eye contact and
ask clarifying questions”, my use of open body language, and my engaged presence (see Appendix A).
My presence in my SMG became a standard way in which I interacted within the Town Hall,
Cohort, and Community at large. I could sense that I was not acting authentically in many situations.
Because of my lack of self-acceptance, I was overly focused on others acceptance of me. I focused on
observing the groups because I knew that it was that role I could do well. My interventions were
tentatively carried out and few and far between as I spent more time in my observer role than in the
room.
After comparing my behavior as group intervener in my SMG and CG I have identified three
learning objectives that I would like to act on. More specifically, I would like to increase my level of selfacceptance, acceptance of other and take risks more readily with being open. Interestingly, these three
objectives are interrelated and can be addressed simultaneously. Openness, also referred to as selfdisclosure, is discussed by Johnson (2009) in Reaching Out: Interpersonal Effectiveness and SelfActualization, and is “dependent on self- awareness, self- acceptance and trust” (p. 48). After reading
about self -awareness, I answering a couple of questions which revealed that I do have a high selfawareness (Johnson, 2009). Increasing self-acceptance is also discussed by Johnson (2008) and he
proposes five ways to do so. In order to build my level of self-acceptance I will focus on two which I find
most pertinent. Basic self- acceptance, which I believe is most crucial for me to work on, relates to my
unconditional acceptance of myself. Instead of listening to my tough inner critic, I will be patient and
kind to myself. In order to address the second form of self- acceptance suggested by Johnson (2008), the
real- ideal comparison, I will re- evaluate my superlative self. I want to make sure that my ideal self is
realistic and is what I want to be and not what I think I should be. These exercises will increase my level
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
of self-acceptance. In order to further increase my ability to self-disclose, I want to shift my focus from
strategic self- presentation to self- verification. These two concepts are discussed by Johnson (2008). I
know that I have a tendency to adapt my behavior based on how I perceive my environment. Johnson
(2008) refers to Self- monitoring theory to describe this propensity. As I believe I am highly selfmonitoring, it is not surprising that I have a tendency to try to present myself strategically. As I work to
increase my self- acceptance I want to also allow others to perceive me as I genuinely am. For example, I
want to express my compassionate and caring nature. I also want to be open about the personal work I
am doing to increase my self -acceptance. In presenting myself openly my motive will be aligned with
self- verification. To summarize, my increased self-disclosure will help encourage group members to also
take risks and contribute to the data flow. Remembering that everything is an intervention, I want my
interventions going forward to be authentic acts and not reactions to my personal level of trust in the
group. By taking risks, even before being assured I can do so, I will have more opportunities to act
authentically in my intervener role and increase the level of trust in the group.
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
Annex A
Feedback from SMG:
Tracey to Tiffany: You weren’t there in the beginning. I didn’t know your goals and intentions for
personal learning. You kept processing and kept your emotions to yourself, no culture of trust. You
opened up over time and I felt more trust when you asserted yourself.
Delia to Tiffany: You took risks once you said you wanted to be yourself and speak in your way. You were
then more engaged in the group, didn’t fall into observation mode as a safety net, stepped into a
leadership role and exhibited disagreeing behavior ect. You stepped up when you were called out, even
when you weren’t ready.
Riham to Tiffany: You take risks to say you are confused and it helped to see you do it. Thank you.
Martha to Tiffany: I observed you were confused a lot. Im not sure if it slowed down the group but you
took risks to clarify and I want to emulate that.
Lynnea to Tiffany: You are a very tuned into individual needs and it was an effective intervention. I felt
heard.
Feedback from CG:
Chris to Tiffany: When you consulted me on my issue related to feeling ineffective as a group member,
you made steady eye contact with me and asked clarifying questions. This made me feel supported and
that I could open up without being judged. You seemed genuinely interested when you brought up the
issue of straight talk and it was clear you wanted to make a difference in your group. You were willing to
take risks and took into consideration psychological issues/elements that were involved in your group.
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
Kladja to Tiffany: You did a lot of nodding and smiling and leaning forward, which encouraged me to
open up. You gave the clear impression that you wanted to understand and gave me the courage to take
action in my SMG. Your facial expressions are not flat but focused and show a certain intellect and
presence that comes through in your eyes. This presence makes you seem trustworthy.
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
Annex B
Number
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
Competency
An ability to tune into your own feelings of how you are 'here and now' with
regards to the system dynamics, and share these feelings with others.
The quality of getting in touch with the feelings of others in the context of
system dynamics, and then being able to communicate back an accurate
understanding of them.
A readiness to take risks - tell others how you are feeling, face negative
feedback or hostility, or take a personal position on a controversial issue
affecting the system [task accomplishment or systemic structures and
processes].
An ability to hear and understand the ideas of others and to challenge your
own thinking and beliefs as a result.
A quality of open-mindedness and flexibility that enables you to move
through a variety of situations with all kinds of people and not get locked
into a "right or wrong way" of thinking or doing things.
A capacity to handle ambiguity, uncertainty, emergence, or even confusion,
and an ability to then shift into structured ways of understanding and
interpreting the system dynamics, and communicating this to others when
this is most helpful.
An ability to manage authority and control, by taking direction from others at
some points, working collaboratively with others, and being able to give
leadership and direction when this best serves the goals of the system.
An ability to recognize and acknowledge conflict and power issues in the
group and larger system.
A capacity for immediate response to situations and relationships, by
accepting new situations as they are found, and building relationships before
looking at possible interventions.
The ability to observe, identify, and intervene in a wide range of group
behaviours, structures, and processes (individual, interpersonal and groupin-context).
The ability to use theory as a consistent framework for understanding
varying group experiences and processes, and in determining interventions.
A capacity to consciously and mindfully intervene in a way that is easily
understood by the group.
An ability to engage in a range of interventions (roles and relationships, task
procedures, group dynamics such as conflict, norms, 'naming' process, etc.).
A capacity for building a culture of trust and openness in which people feel
safe to take risks and to learn.
An ability to see and diagnose groups in the context of larger systemic forces.
An ability to design and implement structural interventions on a whole
system level.
SelfEvaluation
7
7
7
7
6
6.5
7.5
7.5
6
6
7.5
6
6
6.5
6.5
6
PERSONAL LEARNING SUMMARY
References
Johnson, David W. (2009). Reaching out: Interpersonal effectiveness and self-actualization (10th edition).
Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.
Kass, R. (2008). Theories of small group development (4th edition). Montreal. The Centre for Human
Relations and Community Studies, Concordia University.