Let us now examine your Hamlet essay.

 On the SAT writing sections, there are more problems involving pronoun mistakes than any other grammar issue.
 Pronoun – a word used to replace a noun.

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Personal pronouns:
I, you, he, she, it, we, they, me, him, her, us, them
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Demonstrative pronouns:
This, that, these, those
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Possessive pronouns: my, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, its, our, ours, their, theirs
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Interrogatory pronouns:
Who, whom, whose
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One, someone, anyone
Thing, something, anything, everything

st
nd
 I believe that Janie’s relationship with Tea Cake is realistic because it is complex.
 You realize that Tea Cake and Janie have a relationship that is both complex and realistic.

you
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Do not use the 2 nd person pronoun you.
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It’s vague & general. You want to be clear & specific.
It’s a writer’s trap. Once you’ve used it once, you will probably get stuck into repeating it several times over the next few sentences.
Suggested replacement: one, readers

 Willy and Biff both have dreams for the future, but his dreams are more realistic. In the greatest country in the world, a true land of opportunity, he cannot find success.
 Often on the SATs
 Check – replace with the name to avoid any possible confusion.

 When someone reads Death of a Salesman for the first time,
they can easily get confused when Willy has a flashback.
 Often on SATs
 One  you or one  they = mistake. Stick with one thru your entire sentence.

This
 This causes a great deal of tension between Willy and Biff.
 This moment? This problem? This pen? This failure? This inability to remain grounded in the present? This football game? This unreasonable expectation? This infidelity?
 Avoid starting a sentence with This ________.
 This is often on the SATs.

 NEVER use apostrophes with possessive pronouns!
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Who’s = who is. Who’s there?
Whose = possession. Whose pen is this?
It’s = it is. It’s Bill Oliver’s pen.
Its = possession. The play’s structure is dictated by its content.
They’re = they are. They’re a dysfunctional family.
Their = possession. Their home is in Brooklyn.
Your’s = a mistake. This does not exist in English.

 Thing is one of my pet peeves. It’s vague. I hate all forms of this word (except nothing. I like nothing because, in the words of Macbeth, “Nothing is, but what is not.”)
 Eliminate thing, something, anything, everything.
 Replace with a noun, the more specific, precise, & concrete the better.

 The prompt required you to use language from the play to support your position. Find the quote(s) you used.
 Avoid “floating quotes”!
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Did you provide a just enough context? Will the reader of the essay understand how this quote fits into the story? Do you need to explain to whom the speaker is talking ? Or the subject they’re talking about?
Do you provide at least a sentence or two or analysis? Explain the significance of this quote. Why is it important? How does it help to illustrate your point?