Conflict Resolution
The Win/Win Approach
The Win/Win Approach
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The Handshake Exercise
Each student will choose a partner roughly the
same size as themselves.
Both partners will lock hands in the form of a
handshake.
You score a point every time you get the other
persons hand to your hip.
The aim of this exercise is to win as many points
as you can.
You have 1 minute for this exercise.
The Win/Win Approach
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The Handshake Exercise
Who scored more than 30?
Who scored less than 20?
Who scored less than 10?
How did you interpret “you” in the
instructions? As an individual, a pair or a
group?
The Win/Win Approach
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The Handshake Exercise
Did the idea of “winning” imply “losing” as
well?
Who discussed it with their partner? If
you discussed it, what was discussed? Did
anybody change strategy during the
exercise and if so, why?
The Win/Win Approach
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The Handshake Exercise
When we are in conflict with someone else, do
we frequently approach it thinking that one
person will win and one will lose?
Examples of this might be…”I told him”; “I put
her in her place”; “I showed him who was boss”;
“I didn’t let her get the better of me”; “I got my
way”; “I always lose out in these sorts of
problems”.
The Win/Win Approach
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The Handshake Exercise
In an exercise such as this, it is possible to interpret
“win” in a variety of ways and behave accordingly.
Problems arise when we transfer a concept of “wining
over” to situations where “winning with” would be more
beneficial.
“Winning over” is about one person winning while the
other loses.
“Winning with” is about cooperating so that both people
obtain what they want or need.
The Win/Win Approach
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The Handshake Exercise
A Win/Win approach is a co-operative effort that
will maximize the benefits for everyone.
A Win/Lose approach is based on competition
and is far more likely to result in major
differences in benefit to all involved.
The Win/Win Approach
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Now we will discuss the concept of Fight
and Flight Behaviors when dealing with
conflict.
The Win/Win Approach
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Some examples of Fight behaviors
include:
Screaming
Physical Violence
Refusing to listen
Manipulation
The Win/Win Approach
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Some of the main messages and
intentions behind Fight behaviors are:
I’m right / you’re wrong
To blame or punish
To threaten
I’m OK / you’re not
The Win/Win Approach
Fight = I Win / You Lose
This is considered an Aggressive Behavior
The Win/Win Approach
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Some examples of Flight behaviors
include:
Sulking
Crying
Avoiding
Pretending it hasn’t happened
Giving in
The Win/Win Approach
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Some of the main messages and
intentions behind Flight behaviors are:
I’m right / you’re wrong
To avoid conflict
To let the other person win
I’m not OK / you are
The Win/Win Approach
Flight = I lose / you win
This is considered a Passive behavior.
The Win/Win Approach
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It is obvious that neither Fight or Flight
are optimum tools for handling conflict as
someone always loses.
The Win/Win Approach
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Now we introduce a slightly different set
of behaviors that fall in between Fight and
Flight. Lets call them Flow behaviors.
The Win/Win Approach
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Some examples of Flow behaviors can
include:
Discussing the issue
Listening to others
Taking time out
Explaining one’s own perspective and
needs.
Compromising
The Win/Win Approach
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Some of the main messages and
intentions behind Flow behaviors are:
There must be a way to solve this.
To sort out the problem.
To respect others.
To make sure everyone is satisfied with
the solution
I’m OK / you’re OK
The Win/Win Approach
Flow = I Win / You Win
This is considered an Assertive behavior
The Win/Win Approach
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During Fight behavior, the intention, which
may be unconscious, is to come down
hard on the issue, with little concern for
the person.
The Win/Win Approach
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During Flight behavior the intention, which
may be unconscious, is to protect
ourselves rather than deal with the
problem. By not confronting, the
immediate result is relatively soft on the
person.
The Win/Win Approach
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During Flow behavior, the intention is to
solve the problem while at the same time
respecting everyone in the conflict.
The Win/Win Approach
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Although flow behaviors seem to have the
best outcomes, we often resort to Fight or
Flight behaviors. It is important to realize
and remember what these behaviors are,
so that we can use them to our advantage
in dealing with conflict.
The Win/Win Approach
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Here is a little story:
There are two probationary mechanics in
a break room and only one orange. Both
of them want the orange. What could
they do?
The Win/Win Approach
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They decided to compromise, and cut the
orange in half.
One mechanic went to the juicer and started to
squeeze himself a drink, which turned out too
small to satisfy.
The other mechanic, with some difficulty. Began
to grate the rind on his half of the orange to
flavor a cake for the upcoming proby dinner. He
then threw out the pulp.
The Win/Win Approach
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Both mechanics had only half of the
orange, in effect, they could have had the
whole orange.
Had they talked out the problem, listened
to each other and found out what each
one wanted and/or needed, the solution
would have been more practical for each.
The Win/Win Approach
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The key to the Win / Win approach is to
explore all of the needs before settling on
a solution.
The Win/Win Approach
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Compromise
Compromise is sometimes considered the
same as a Win/Win approach. Some of
the reasons that we so often use it are:
The Win/Win Approach
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Compromise
It may seem to be the simplest, easiest
and fairest thing to do.
It means that when we can’t make a
bigger pie, at least everyone is sharing
what is available.
It results in both parties having Some of
their needs met.
The Win/Win Approach
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Compromise
It does have some disadvantages, such as:
It often requires one party to give more, and
than they will be less committed to the solution.
It may mean that the potential of all options
hasn’t been explored.
It has been described as an acceptable form of
Lose/Lose.
The Win/Win Approach
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Compromise
Although compromise has disadvantages, it is
sometimes a valuable approach. However, if we
settle to quickly for compromise, we can sell
ourselves short.
It may even be that we decide on a poorer
quality solution than we would have if we had
adopted a Win/Win approach.
The Win/Win Approach
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In conclusion
Different types of behavior are appropriate
in different situations. Mostly we will be
very practiced in using two or three
behaviors and may feel less comfortable
with the others.
The Win/Win Approach
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The more flexible we can become, the
more choices we have about how we
relate to others and the more
opportunities we have to resolve conflict.
The Win/Win Approach
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For the Win/Win approach to become our
first choice, we need to develop new skills.
We need to learn to step back from
solutions, to consider the need or concern
driving each person to particular
outcomes.
The Win/Win Approach
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A Win/Win approach is not the same as a
Win/Win outcome. It is the approach
that is the key. Ask yourself the following:
The Win/Win Approach
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How has the solution been generated?
Have all the needs been considered, all
options explored and the solution been
chosen that meets more major needs than
any other?
Have the relevant parties participated in
the process?
The Win/Win Approach
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If you have made the effort to explore all
possible options and have secured an
outcome that meets the majority of needs
for all of the parties involved, you have
successfully implemented the Win/Win
approach.
Credit
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We wish to thank the Conflict Resolution
Network for their generous donation of materials
used in the creation of this presentation.
Conflict Resolution Network
PO Box 1016, Chatswood NSW 2057
Phone: +61 (0)2 9419-8500
Fax: +61 (0)2 9413-1148
Email: crn@crnhq.org
Website: www.crnhq.org
Credit
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This course was created by AMFA Local 11 to
assist in the education of its Professional
Standards Committee members.
Permission to use this material is granted to any
AMFA Local.
This course was created using materials
provided by The Conflict Resolution Network.
Permission has been extended to use this
material providing credit remains intact on all
modules.