Listening
“Seek first to understand…
Then to be understood.”
(Covey, 1997)
Listening is not a communication
action, it is a human action.
Understanding how to listen effectively
is an essential skill that benefits
everything from family life to business.
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Introduction and Overview

What listening is not:
Hearing vs. listening
 Faulty listening behaviors
 Reasons for poor listening

Introduction and Overview

What listening is:
Stages of successful listening
 Personal listening styles
 Situational listening

What listening is not

Hearing vs. Listening:
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Hearing: “Sounds waves strike the ear
drum and cause vibrations that are
transmitted to the brain.”
Automatic and effortless
Listening: “The brain gives the sounds
meaning.”
Unnatural, requires effort
Faulty listening behaviors
1.
2.
3.
Pseudo listening: imitation, or fake
listening. Pretending to listen.
Selective listening: responding only to
the parts of a speakers remarks that
interest the receiver and rejecting
everything else.
Defensive listening: taking innocent
comments as personal attacks.
Faulty Listening, cont.
4. Ambushing: using listening skills to
collect information to use for an attack
on the speaker.
5. Insulated listening: avoiding a
particular topic.
6. Insensitive listening: unable to look
beyond words for other meanings.
Faulty listening, cont.
7. Stage Hogging: attempting to turn the
conversation to oneself.
Reasons for Poor Listening
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Effort: listening is hard; it is not natural
Message overload
Rapid thought
Psychological noise
Physical noise
Hearing problems
Faulty assumptions
Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.
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
Cultural differences
Media
What Listening is:
Listening Defined

Listening: Occurs when the brain gives
the sound transmitted meaning.

Listening is not like breathing. It is
unnatural and requires effort.
What listening is: Stages of
Successful Listening
1.
2.
3.
4.
Attending: paying attention to a signal
Understanding: making sense of a
message
Responding: giving observable
feedback to the speaker
Remembering
1.
Residual Message: what is remembered
Personal Listening Styles

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Content-Oriented: interested in the
quality of the message. This style is
useful when looking at a wide range of
perspectives and options.
People-oriented: concerned with
creating and maintaining positive
relationships
Personal Listening Styles, cont.

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Action-Oriented: concerned with the
task at hand. Useful when business
needs to be attended to.
Time-oriented: most concerned with
efficiency.
Situational Listening
Informational listening:
Used when one wants to understand
another. The goal is to receive the
same thoughts the other person is
trying to convey.
Informational Listening, cont.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Listen first
“Don’t kill the messenger”: separate
the message from the speaker
Look for big ideas and main points
Paraphrase: restate what the speaker
is saying in one’s own words
Take notes
Critical Listening

Judging the quality of a message and
deciding to accept or reject it.
1. Listen for information first
2. Evaluate the speakers credibility
- check the source
3. Examine evidence and reasoning
4. Remove emotion
Empathetic Listening
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Stages of listening (Covey, 1997)
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Ignoring
Pretend listening
Selective listening
Attentive listening
Empathic listening: the first step in
beginning to understand someone
Empathetic Listening
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The goal is to build a relationship or
help solve a problem.
This style of listening has the most
respect for the other’s point of view.
Empathetic Listening
Ways to practice empathetic listening:
1. Advising: offering suggestions
2. Judging: look for constructive
judgments
3. Analyzing: offers and interpretations
of the speakers message
Empathic Listening, cont.
4. Questioning: helps sort out problems
5. Supporting
6. Prompting: The goal is to help the
speaker draw conclusions for
him/herself
7. Paraphrasing: rewording