Some research paper specifics
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The final draft of your research paper must
include all of the following criteria:
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Typed double-spaced with 1” margins all the way around,
size 12 font.
Length needs to be 3-5 pages including the works cited
page. No title page.
Must include 4-6 sources in your research paper. Make
sure they are valid sources, or else you will be researching
further and rewriting your information.
What is the purpose of the
introductory paragraph?
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Get the reader’s attention and introduce the
topic
Set tone for the rest of the essay and make a
contract with the reader - what will be
covered in this piece?
Briefly state your position and provide
reasoning
The Parts of the Introductory
Paragraph
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The Hook - Designed to grab attention
immediately and give some indication about
the essay’s topic
The Transition - Moves the reader from the
hook to the driving force of the essay….
The Thesis - Makes the contract with the
reader about what will be discussed without a
blatant announcement.
Types of Hooks
1. Personal examples
2. Quotations
3. Facts or statistics
4. Rhetorical questions
5. Current events
6. Contrast to the thesis statement
Personal Examples
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Provides strong, dramatic incidents to use.
Honesty in expressing thoughts and feelings
will ring true with the reader. While you can
make up the personal experience, be careful
that it sounds credible.
Personal observation - different from a
personal example, an observation is
something you saw happening.
Example 1
On Friday, February 19, 2011, life changed
for an eighteen-year-old young man. He became
very ill from a bacterial infection. His body could
not fight the infection. Why? After a week of tests
and examinations by several specialists, the
diagnosis was made. He had leukemia, a cancer of
the bone marrow. I am that young man. When a
person finds out that he has cancer, just as I did,
his whole world changes. A cancer patient is
affected physically, psychologically, and socially
by the impact of cancer.
Example 2
One morning a young mother had her sevenmonth old son in his stroller under the peach tree near
the family pool. She walked to the kitchen to get a
knife so she could peel the peach for him. Ten seconds
later, she found him facedown with the stroller at the
bottom of the pool. She immediately pulled him out
and administered CPR to her son. If she had been gone
any longer, he might have been one of the statistics
that plague our country every year. These child
drownings could be greatly reduced if parents never
left their children unattended around water, if pools
were properly fenced, and if other safety devices were
installed in or by the pool.
Using Quotations
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Content of quote should be:
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Dramatic
Emotionally appealing
Surprising
Humorous
Quote does not have to be from a famous
person
Must be relevant to thesis statement
Example 1
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“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a
heaven of hell, a hell of heaven” (255). This thought
by John Milton was recorded over four hundred
years ago, but it is still timely for us today. He seems
to be saying that we are the ones to control our
lives. We can be miserable when things are going
well, just as we can be happy when things are going
wrong. With this thought in mind, we can control the
way we face life through our attitude, our
determination, and our ability.
Example 2
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“I am stupid. I am never going back to school.” These are
the words spoken by a learning disabled child when he
was in first grade. He cried as he slowly walked to his
bedroom, shredding his schoolwork into small pieces. This
was the first of many times when he and his parents would
feel frustrated because there was nothing that they could
do. Parents of children with learning disabilities have often
felt unprepared to help their children with their handicaps
and frustrated with attempts to seek the proper placement
of them in the public-school system. The experience of
school can be overwhelming for children who have trouble
learning. The learning disabled student in the public
educational system must deal with academic, social, and
emotional problems.
Using Facts or Statistics
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Must be startling or unusual
Must be from a credible source
Use journal as a place to
record both quotes and facts or
statistics that might work for an
introduction
“Just the facts,
please.”
Example 1
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In the desert regions of Arizona, solar homes
date back to the pre-Columbian Indians.
These people carefully designed their homes
in the recesses of south-facing cliffs to
receive the warmth of the winter sun. In the
summer, shade was provided by overhanging
cliffs. Today, solar homes are becoming
popular across the country. These solar
homes, as then, must be carefully designed
to use the sun efficiently in the orientation,
the exterior, and the interior.
Example 2
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According to an article in Family Safety & First Aid,
published by Berkley Books, “… every 45 seconds a
fire breaks out in an American home – 700,000
residences aflame each year. And 16 times a day
somebody dies in one of these burning homes” (45).
These statistics are frightening and should not be
taken lightly. The best way to deal with the
possibility of loss from fire is to plan ahead before it
happens. Otherwise, it is too late. In order not to
become one of these statistics, Americans need to
equip their homes with safety devices, set and
adhere to safety rules, and practice a family escape
plan in order to protect their families.
Using Current Events
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Must be recent
Must be important
Should be made public
by newspapers,
television, or radio
Example
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This morning’s news reported that a young girl, age 5,
was abducted from her classroom. As a frantic search
ensued, people across the Philadelphia area were
shocked to find that the kidnapper walked right into the
child’s classroom and demanded that the young
kindergartner leave with the woman. The child managed
to escape and was found, but she had been attacked by
her captors. Obviously, safety procedures broke down
and this poor child paid the price. In order to assure the
safety of all children, schools across the country must
review safety procedures, tighten safety protocols where
necessary, and assure all staff members are properly
trained.
Using Contrast to the Thesis Statement
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In direct contrast to the
thesis statement
It’s fun to prove an
expert wrong
Example
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Since the middle 1940s, the female Cannabis sativa
plant, commonly known as marijuana, has been
classified by the United States government as a
Schedule I drug. This classification recognizes
marijuana as a dangerous narcotic, similar in
potency to heroin and possessing no redeeming
medicinal qualities. Research in the last few years,
however, has brought many new discoveries in
medicine relating to the possible uses of marijuana
to treat many different illnesses. Marijuana has been
found to be effective in treating glaucoma, cancer,
and phantom limb pain suffered by paraplegics and
amputees.
Classwork and Homework
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For Tuesday: using the provided outline and
instructions you’ve received, compose the
introductory paragraph for your research
paper with a robust hook and smooth
transition into a clearly defined thesis
statement.
I will be conferencing with students
throughout the week, and each step of this
research paper is a grade.
If you have any questions, come see me.
Do This NOW
According to an article in Family Safety & First Aid,
published by Berkley Books, “… every 45 seconds a fire
breaks out in an American home – 700,000 residences
aflame each year. And 16 times a day somebody dies in
one of these burning homes” (45). These statistics are
frightening and should not be taken lightly. The best way to
deal with the possibility of loss from fire is to plan ahead
before it happens. Otherwise, it is too late. In order not to
become one of these statistics, Americans need to equip
their homes with safety devices, set and adhere to safety
rules, and practice a family escape plan in order to protect
their families.
What kind of hook is being used?
Is it effective? Why or why not?
Is there a smooth transition to the thesis?
How strong is the thesis?
Components of a Body Paragraph
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Topic Sentence
 MUST support the thesis statement
 States the main idea of the paragraph
Concrete Detail
 A piece of collected information from one of your 4-6
sources
 States a HARD fact (uses statistical data OR quoted,
summarized, or paraphrased information)
Commentary Sentences
 Approximately two sentences (per concrete detail)
 Explains the relation between the concrete detail and
the thesis
Transition sentence
 Completes paragraph while previewing the topic of the
next paragraph
 Connects the previous paragraph to the next one
Sample Body Paragraph - simple
[Topic sentence]. [Concrete detail #1]. [Commentary 1].
[Commentary 2]. [Transition sentence].
Removing vending machines from schools would help
lower childhood obesity percentages. “Schools that have
removed vending machines containing junk food have seen a 9%
increase in extra-curricular activities and a 15% decrease in clinic
visits” (“Fat Kids”). Based on the information above, schools that
remove vending machines can expect to see their student
populations increase their activity. Educators serious about
seeing children make better food choices during the school day
will also see a decrease in visits to the clinic. Removing vending
machines that sell unhealthy foods is one of several decisions
schools can make to help students; they can also require more
physical education courses.
Sample Body Paragraph - complex
[Topic sentence]. [Concrete detail #1]. [Commentary 1].
[Commentary 2]. [Concrete detail #2]. [Commentary 1].
[Commentary 2].[Transition sentence].
Removing vending machines from schools would help lower
childhood obesity percentages. “Schools that have removed vending
machines containing junk food have seen a 9% increase in extra-curricular
activities and a 15% decrease in clinic visits” (“Fat Kids”). Based on the
information above, schools that remove vending machines can expect to
see their student populations increase their activity. Educators serious
about seeing children make better food choices during the school day will
also see a decrease in visits to the clinic. Overweight students are six times
more likely to make repeat visits to the clinic throughout the school year
(McBain 4). Encouraging students to make healthy eating decisions will
directly affect their health. The unhealthy foods some vending machines
contain provide no nutrition or protection against average injuries.
Removing vending machines that sell unhealthy foods is one of several
decisions schools can make to help students; they can also require more
physical education courses.
Is this Written in Stone?
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NO!
There are dozens of ways to construct a well
written research paper paragraph!
When you craft the 1st rough draft of your
research paper, use these formulas to construct
body paragraphs
During your 2nd and 3rd rough drafts, begin
adjusting or experimenting with new sentence
patterns and paragraph structures (this will help
you boost your STYLE score).
Classwork and Homework
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For Wednesday: using the provided outline,
your introductory paragraph, and instructions
you’ve received, compose the first body
paragraph(s) for your research paper with a a
topic sentence, concrete detail(s), commentary
sentences, and a transition sentence.
Starting today, I will be conferencing with
students one at a time; remember that each
step of this research paper is a grade.
If you have any questions, come see me.
Do this NOW
Read the following body paragraph and identify each type of sentence listed below.
Upon a further examination of The Joy Luck Club, the mother's
constant pressure on the daughter was beginning to wear on her. Jingmei's mother would consistently give her daughter tests and the
expectations to succeed were high. As the daughter states right after
she failed to perform well at the climatic piano recital, “After seeing my
mother’s disappointed face once again, something inside me began to
die. I hated the tests, the raised hopes and failed expectations” (Tan
152). After seeing the dissatisfaction from her mother’s face, the tests
and hopes for success, began to eat away at her. It began to tear at
the daughter’s emotional state. The consistent disappointment pushed
the daughter to the point where she would not become someone she
is not. In addition to the pressure from her mother, Jing-mei also faced
tribulation working at the family restaurant.
Topic Sentence
Concrete Detail
Commentary
Sentences
Transition sentence
In-Text Citation
An In-Text Citation is used to give credit for a
direct quote, summary, or paraphrasing of
someone else’s words in your essay. In-Text
Citations always refer to a source that is
referenced in your Works Cited page. For
Example:
One author claims that “no one is concerned
with this issue, you dork” (Jones 45).
In the body of your paper
Leroy predicted in 1998 that eBay would become the
most lucrative Internet business, surpassing most
businesses even during tough economic times (45).
Or
Founded in 1995 by Pierre Omidyar, Jeff Skoll and
Meg Whitman, eBay has become the most lucrative
Internet business (Leroy 45).
In your works cited page
Leroy, Jonathan G. eBay: Stunning Success. New York:
Dover Publishing, 2001.
A book with two or more authors
According to Franklin and Moss, “Approximately a
half-million African Americans saw service overseas
during World War II” (440).
A significant number of African Americans served in
World War II (Franklin and Moss 440).
In your works cited page
Franklin, John Hope and Alfred A. Moss. From Slavery
to Freedom. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1994.
TIP: When there are two authors,
cite both of them. Three or more,
use et al. Write the first name and
et al. follows.
No Author associated with the magazine article
The American Academy of Dermatology suggests using
a sunscreen that protects against both UVA and UVB
rays and has a SPF of at least 15 (“Shining the Light on
Sunscreen” 21). The higher the number, the more your
skin will be protected.
In your works cited page
“Shining the Light on Sunscreen.” A Brighter Society. 5
Dec. 1998:21.
TIP: When the author is unknown, use the
title of the book, article or organization. If
the title is long, you can always shorten it.
Using the entire webpage, not just a document
The Harriet Tubman Home for the Aged is a National
Historic Landmark. Today, it is owned and operated by the
AME Zion Church (“Harriet Tubman Home for the
Aged”).
In your works cited page
"Harriet Tubman Home for the Aged." NRHP Travel
Itinerary. 1998. National Park Service. 13 Dec 2008
<http://www.nps.gov/history/nr/travel/pwwmh/ny
13.htm>.
TIP: If no author is available, then use the title of the webpage in quotes.
Remember the importance of
Transitions
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Transitions are like gears in
a car, they help you shift
from one paragraph to the
next.
Here is a list of common
transition words to
incorporate into your
transition sentences: And,
in addition to, furthermore,
moreover, besides, than,
too, also, both-and, another,
equally important, first,
second, etc.
When transitioning from one paragraph to the next read
the last sentence of paragraph 1, add your transition, and
connect it to the topic sentence in paragraph 2.
EXAMPLE:
Paragraph 1: The football incident is important in the story
because it demonstrates the major conflict between Lucy
and Charlie Brown.
Transition: Like the conflict about the football, another
literary device that is important in Peanut’s cartoon is the
refrain of “Good Grief.”
Paragraph 2: One of the famous lines uttered by Charlie
Brown is the phrase “Good Grief.” Whenever he is
frustrated or feels he is cheated in life he utters “Good
Grief.”
Classwork and Homework
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For Thursday: using the provided outline, your
introductory paragraph and first body
paragraph, and instructions you’ve received,
compose the next body paragraph(s) for your
research paper including a topic sentence,
concrete detail(s), commentary sentences, and
a transition sentence.
I will continue to conference with students one
at a time today; remember that each step of
this research paper is a grade.
If you have any questions, come see me.
Do this NOW
Read the following body paragraph and identify each type of sentence listed below.
Before Macduff’s son is murdered, he proves himself to be an
intelligent child through his understanding of worldly concepts. When
his mother tells him that his father is dead—though his father has only
gone to England—the child knows his mother is lying. Confident that
his mother would weep over his father’s death, the child says to her, “If
you would not, it were a good sign that I should quickly have a new
father” (IV.ii.66-68). Macduff’s son knows that if a woman does not cry
when her husband dies, she likely has another man waiting for her. In
the same discussion, Macduff’s son says that all the liars and swearers
in the world will never be hanged because there are “liars and swearers
enough to beat the honest men and hang them” (IV.ii.61-63). The son
clearly understands the corruption in the world and in human nature that
men are imperfect, thus proving his intelligence. Likewise, Lady Macduff
reveals her intelligence to Macbeth, dooming her as well.
Topic Sentence
Concrete Detail
Commentary
Sentences
Transition sentence
Classwork and Homework
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For Friday: using the provided outline, your
introductory paragraph, your first two body
paragraphs, and instructions you’ve received,
compose the next body paragraph(s) for your
research paper including a topic sentence,
concrete detail(s), commentary sentences, and
a transition sentence.
I will continue to conference with students one
at a time today; remember that each step of
this research paper is a grade.
If you have any questions, come see me.
Do This NOW
Interpret the following image.
Classwork and Homework
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For Monday: using the provided outline, your
introductory paragraph, your first three body
paragraphs, and instructions you’ve received,
compose the final body paragraph(s) for your
research paper including a topic sentence,
concrete detail(s), commentary sentences, and
a transition sentence.
I will continue to conference with students one
at a time today; remember that each step of
this research paper is a grade.
If you have any questions, come see me.
Since the conclusion paragraph is the
last part of the essay, writers must
synthesize their arguments and bring
it all home to to leave a memorable
impression on the reader.
Point to the Future
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The first sentence of the conclusion paragraph can point
to the future in a way that relates to the topic.
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Describing a future scenario that relates to the essay's
topic can be an intriguing way to introduce the final
paragraph.
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For example, to conclude a persuasive essay on why
students should not be required to wear uniforms, the
concluding paragraph can start by pointing to the future:
In conclusion, a school with uniforms offers a bland
environment that squashes a student’s individuality.
Suggest a Future Action
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The second sentence of the conclusion paragraph can
suggest a future action that needs to be taken by the
writer or the reader.
For example:
As a stakeholder in this school, you should seek to
preserve the individual spirit of students and vote “no”
on school uniforms.
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This call to action is an especially effective
technique if students are writing a persuasive essay
because students want to rally their readers to
promote change.
Relate to the Thesis
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The third and fourth sentences can relate to the
thesis statement.
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Use a restatement of the thesis to serve a
specific purpose. You can make a deeper
observation about life, human nature,
community or society.
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Delve into the deeper meaning of their thesis
and offer insight to readers rather than mere
repetition of ideas.
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Example: With standardized testing being the
driving force in education, students are
expected to fit into some “one size fits all” mold.
Uniforms would only further cause students to
lose yet another means of personal expression.
Express Opinions on the Topic
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Although it may be inappropriate to express personal opinions
in the body of certain types of essays, the last sentence or
two of the conclusion can be an effective location for student
commentary on the topic.
You may want to make a more general observation about how
the topic applies to society or the world. Ending an essay with
a unique thought can leave a lasting impression in the
reader's mind.
Example: Students face so many challenges in education with
less time to relax and be themselves. Expecting them to walk
around like clones in uniforms will only cause students to be
even less excited about going to school.
Example Conclusion Paragraph:
In conclusion, a school with uniforms offers a bland environment
that squashes a student’s individuality. As a stakeholder in this
school, you should seek to preserve the individual spirit of students
and vote “no” on school uniforms. With standardized testing being
the driving force in education, students are expected to fit into some
“one size fits all” mold. Uniforms would only further cause students
to lose yet another means of personal expression. Students face so
many challenges in education with less time to relax and be
themselves. Expecting them to walk around like clones in uniforms
will only cause students to be even less excited about going to
school.
Concluding Paragraphs
Of course, this is just a guideline for
composing your concluding paragraph. These
are minimum expectations, but you are
welcome to use any strategy that you find most
effective.
Classwork and Homework
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For Tuesday: using the provided outline, your
introductory paragraph, your body paragraphs,
and instructions you’ve received, compose the
concluding paragraph for your research paper
including, at a minimum, a point to the future, a
call to action, a restatement of the thesis, and a
concluding commentary.
I will continue to conference with students one
at a time today; remember that each step of
this research paper is a grade.
If you have any questions, come see me when
I’m available.
Do this NOW: correct the red sentence.
Their going over to there Illuminati party because Tupac
is going to be they’re.
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Their is the third person plural pronoun. It indicates a
possession or relationship.
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They’re is the contraction of “they” and “are.”
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Ex. Their dog was in the backyard.
Ex. They’re going to the amusement park on Friday.
There is a pronoun when it refers to a specific
location, an adverb when it’s used before a verb.
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Ex. Stack the books there. There will be cake at the party.
They’re going over to their Illuminati party because
Tupac is going to be there.
General Rules for Works Cited Pages
in MLA Format
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Double space everything on a Works Cited
page.
Center the title Works Cited (no bold, italics,
or underlining) and place it at the top of the
page.
Use a “hanging indent” after the first line of
each entry.
General Rules for Works Cited Entries
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The author is usually first in a Works Cited entry,
followed by the source’s title(s) and publication
information.
Place the titles of smaller works (articles, short
stories, book chapters, poems, songs) in quotation
marks.
Italicize the titles of larger works (books, journals,
magazines, newspapers, and films).
Capitalize the first letter of each word in titles
(except articles, short prepositions, or conjunctions).
Bergen Community College © 2005
48
OK: so what does it look like?
Centered
Title
“Hanging”
Indent
Everything is
double-spaced,
and there are
no line spaces
between
entries.
More Rules for a Works Cited Page

Include publication medium (Print or Web) in
each citation.

All Web sources need two dates: the date that
the Web page was last updated and the date the
information was accessed from the Internet.
Bergen Community College © 2005
50
Works Cited Entry for a Book
In-text Citation
The ideal context for identity
Wow! Look at the
connection!
formation is “a supportive and
respectful family” (Levine 169).
Works Cited Entry
Works Cited
Levine, Madeleine, Ph.D. See No Evil: A Guide to Protecting Our Children
from Media Violence. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1998. Print.
Works Cited Entry for a Periodical
In-text Citation
A graphic example is the series of school shootings that have occurred in recent
years—the most recent occurred on March 21, 2005, at Red Lake High School on
an Indian reservation in Minnesota, where a seventeen-year-old male, who had just
killed his grandparents, shot and killed five students, a teacher and a security guard,
wounded many others and then turned the gun on himself (Wilgoren A-1).
Works Cited Entry
Works Cited
Wilgoren, Jodi. “Shooting Rampage by Student Leaves 10 Dead on
Reservation.” New York Times 22 Mar. 2005, sec. 1: A-1+. Print.
Works Cited Entry for a Web Site
In-text Citation
Columbia University Professor Jeffrey Johnson spent seventeen years
recording the viewing habits of children in 707 families in Upstate New
York and found that the ones “who watched one to three hours of television
each day . . . were 60% more likely to be involved in assaults and fights as
those who watched less TV” (“Research”).
Works Cited Entry
Works Cited
“Research on the Effects of Media Violence.” Media Awareness Network.
2005. Web. 12 Mar. 2005
Classwork and Homework
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

For Wednesday: Rough Draft due!
I will continue to conference with students one
at a time today; remember that each step of
this research paper is a grade.
If you have any questions, come see me when
I’m available.