“Crunchtastic”
By: Amber May
Synopsis: For decades the danger-prone city of Glucotopia has had to endure
different forms of supernatural onslaughts (rock candy meteor showers, dinosaurs
wielding electric licorice ropes, elderly supervillians forcing civilians to partake in
their horrible fiber-based meals, ect.) until one fateful day, a young, middle school
boy decides to walk into a local gas station and pick up what he calls "a sugary twist
of fate." Dexter ends up becoming the hero that his falling city needs.
Main Chracters:
 Dexter Dudley/Dextro
o 7th Grade math genius, socially awkward, longs to
be heroic like his father was (who was killed
while protecting the city from one of the
toughest monsters in Glucotopian history)
o Best friends with Twist (who he always has to
bail out of trouble)
o Has a crush on Ruth, but totally fails at
expressing it
o Voice Type: Medium, sort of whiney breathy and
fast when excited or nervous
 Twist
o 7th grade (supposed to be 8th grade, but failed due
to continuous absences)
o Dexter’s best friend (who keeps the bullies off
his back)
o Braggart, chauvinistic, occasionally perverted
o Voice Type: Medium, laid back, sarcastic
Other Chracters:
 Sarah Swizzles
o Only has 1 line (“Another day. Another dino.”)
o Twist’s imaginary superheroine
o Voice Type: Low, seductive
 Dr. Reese
o Created the ChemiCrunch candybar
o Greedy chemist who doesn’t care how dangerous the
new candy is as long as people buy it and he gets
to be the top name in the sweets industry.
 Dr. Cadance
o Dr. Reese’s softspoken, rational assistant who is
against the idea of selling the candy
o Voice Type: Medium, soft
 Dexter’s Mom
o Overprotective parent
o Voice Type: high-nasally, wise, concerned
 Patty
o Dexter’s little sister
o Loves to bother her older brother like any little
sister
o Voice type: High, annoying, spoiled, slurred
 Reggie
o Bullies Dexter
o Voice type: Medium-Low, sort of raspy, may
include heavy Brooklyn accent
 Reporter (Tina Tootsie)
o Tv reporter who covers the attack story
 Ruth
o 7th grade sociable honor’s science student
o Dexter’s crush
o Voice Type: Medium-High
 Ms. Jolly
o Store clerk who sells ChemiCrunch candybar to
Dexter
o Voice type: Slight southern accent, high pitched
old lady voice
 Twixie Tart
o One of the many SDA (Sweets and Drug
Administration) agents sent to collect the
hazardous candybars that were shipped throughout
the city
o Voice Type: Med-high, robotic, fake
 Boy on tricycle
o Kid who wakes
tricycle into
o Ends up being
Dex kicks the
up Dexter by repeatedly running his
him
sent hurtle down the street after
trike he’s on with inhuman strength
Scene 1:
INT. SCHOOLYARD – AFTERNOON
Sounds:
PUNCHES BEING THROWN.
REGGIE (Angry)
I thought I told you to have it done by class today,
Dickster!
DEXTER tries to stand up to respond to REGGIE (Sound:
GRAVEL SKIFFING.), but is immediately kicked back down.
(Sound: KICK.)
REGGIE (Still angry)
So what do you expect me to do now, huh? Tell Mr. Ray that
I didn’t turn it in because my personal homework mule was
busy doin’ his OWN work? What kind of lame ass excuse is
that!? You WANT people to think I’m a slacker?
DEXTER groans in pain.
REGGIE
What was that? It sounded like you said (mimicking voice)
“Why yes Reg, I want everyone to see how much of a lazy
bastard you are!” Is that what you’re tryin’ ta say,
shrimp?
DEXTER
(cough)No…
REGGIE kicks him, causing him to shriek.
BEAT as DEXTER catches his breath. REGGIE walks over to him
and picks him up off the ground by his collar. (sound:
collar grab)
REGGIE(calmer)
Ya know, I don’t see why you even waste your time doin’
your own homework when you could basically sneeze on a test
and get an A in the class. (bargaining tone) Think abooout
it. Why do your own pointless work when you could be
helpin’ a nice guy like me get by, huh? You know guys like
me don’t do algebra. That kinda stuff is for eggheads like
you.
BEAT. As REGGIE drops DEXTER to the ground
REGGIE
Tell ya what, I’m gonna give ya ooone more chance to turn
yourself around. Next Tuesday there’s another worksheet
due. Have it done and I maaay just forgive ya for this
little mishap today? Who knows, I may even make you my top
homework piglet!
REGGIE walks away laughing
DEXTER is still on the ground
Scene 2:
INT. SIDEWALK – EVENING
Sounds: Cars driving by, footsteps, falling, backpack
zipping
DEXTER is walking home in some pain, but is sadly used to
it. He stops walking and looks up at the sky.
DEXTER
Sun’s going down already…? *sigh* Mom’s gonna kill
me…again. Heh, oh well. Least I’m only 2 hours late this
time. I’ll just tell her that the wrestling club ran a bit
over to-
DEXTER is suddenly tackled from behind by his best friend.
(sound: falling onto ground) TWIST licks both of his index
fingers and shoves them in DEXTER’S ears
TWIST
ABANDON SHIP! HERE COME THE WET WILLIES!! HAHAHAHA!
DEXTER
Ewww Twist!! Cut it out! I’m not in the mood! CUT IT OUT!
TWIST
Alright alright. Heh heh, I’m just teasin ya, Dex. …hang on
a moment, is this a new bruise on your face?
DEXTER
Heh, you know the good ol’ wrestling club picking on the
weaklings. Heh…eh…
TWIST pauses and scowls at him
DEXTER
What…?
TWIST
I oughta slug you right now for thinkin’ that your own best
buddy would fall for that ol’ wrestlin’ club crap! Who do
ya think I am? Your mother?! Now you got 3 seconds to tell
me who it was this time or I gots 8 more fingers that can
get ya talkin’!
TWIST slurps another one of his fingers in preparation
DEXTER
Ugh! Fine! It was Reg again. I’d forgotten to do his
homework cause-…Hey wait a minute! What are you doing out
this late anyway??
TWIST
Don’t try to change the subject, Dexter! Why the hell do
you even put up with that brainless ape! You’re WAY smarter
than that!
DEXTER
Yeah yeah, but you know how persuasive the ogre can be.
TWIST
Dex, I keep tellin’ you time and time again to let ME
handle that doofus! I’d have his head pinned to the ground
eatin’ dirt in no time flat! Don’t make me have ta sit back
and watch your ass get whooped every day!
DEXTER
But it’s not every day! ...it’s every time I don’t do what
he tells me.
Dexter!! You’re givin’
you! Seriously, you
asshole, tell someone
been buggin’ you since
you’ve never lifted a
TWIST
me more of a reason to wanna pummel
either need to stand up to that
about him, or let me jump in. He’s
he moved here back in 5th grade and
finger! Is this what your old man
woulda wan-
BEAT
TWIST
Sorry. I-I didn’t mean…
DEXTER
No no, it’s fine. You’re right. My dad wouldn’tve taken
squat from anyone. He was top of his class in the SALT
team, and he helped take down one of the biggest monsters
our city’s every faced. My dad was a hero. A hero! (beat)
He could take down giants…why can’t I take down an 8th
grader.
TWIST
(beat) Ya know Dex, you may not be brawny SALT material,
hell even I’m sure of that, but there’s one thing that I do
know about you. You’ve got spunk.
DEXTER
Spunk? Me?
TWIST
Did I stutter? Of course! I mean, you been puttin’ up with
Reggie’s B.S. for years! Most people woulda skipped town by
now and never came back! You’ve got as much guts
as...well...me! Okay, maybe not that much, but you’re
pretty up there! Hahaha!
DEXTER
Heh,I guess you’re right. Now uh, will you PLEASE get off
of me?
TWIST
Oh right, sorry bout that! Haha!
TWIST gets off (sounds: backpacks shifting)
DEXTER
So, why ARE you out this late anyway?
TWIST
Research, my friend, research.
DEXTER
Wait…you’re actually studying?
TWIST
You could say that.
DEXTER
Yeah, I don’t believe you. What’s in the backpack this
time, hm?
DEXTER sneakily yanks the backpack off of TWIST. They
wrestle over it.
TWIST
What are you doin’ ?! Lay off, Dex!
DEXTER
Come ooon! Just a peek!
DEXTER unzips it and pulls out a pair of blue-striped
panties.
DEXTER
Oh Twist, not again…
TWIST
Hey butt out! I said I was doin research!
DEXTER
This is the
time! I’m surprised you haven’t been
arrested yet! And what could you possibly be researching
that involves stealing ladies undergarments??
5th
TWIST (proudly)
Simple mi compadre! Look.
TWIST pulls a sketchbook from his backpack (sound: backpack
zip, pages turning)
DEXTER
A drawing of a half naked lady. What’s your point, you
perv?
TWIST
No Einstein! It’s a sketch of a new superhero I thought of.
(sound: heroic music) Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for
Sarah Swizzles! The most ass-kickin’est heroine in all of
Glucotopia! (sound: whiplash) Watch her lasso those badies
with her licorice rope, (sound: blizzard)blow minty
blizzard breath to stop ‘em in their tracks, and take down
a T-rex with her poison chocolate kisses! (sound:
~kiss)(SARAH: “Another day, another dino.”) She is perfect!
DEXTER
(sound: record scratch) Yeah…so what does this have to do
with stealing underwear?
TWIST
I told ya! Research! How else am I supposed to create the
perfect goddess without a bit of a reference point? After
all, us guys ain’t exactly the best fruits on the tree when
it comes to true beauty; Big blocky hands, rough skin, hair
everywhere! Meanwhile gals have soft, smooth skin from head
to toe, thin fragile fingers, soft round… Hey! Dex where ya
goin??
DEXTER
(sound: walking) Home! I’ll listen to your questionable
fantasies some other time.
TWIST
Heh…but what if I said that these beautiful bloomers
belonged to... oh I dunno, Ruth?
DEXTER stops in his tracks and whips his head around(sound:
skid)
TWIST
Haha! I knew you’d fall for it, Romeo!
DEXTER
Not cool, Twist!
Scene 3:
INT: CANDY CORP. LAB – MEANWHILE
Sounds: Mysterious music, bubbles in background, occasional
electric/machine sounds.
DR. REESE and DR. CADANCE are standing in a laboratory
discussing the future of a certain candybar
DR. REESE
Ho ho! Cadance, we’ve done it this time! We’ve created the
greatest confectionary known to man! I can practically hear
the musical chime of cash registers everywhere! We’re bound
to be the top name in the sweets industry!
DR. CADANCE (calmly)
Yes, I’m sure we’ll be on the charts next to Goody Treats
Inc, sir.
DR. REESE
On the charts NEXT to them?? Are you kidding? We’re gonna
blow those old fogies out of the water! (sound: robotic arm
sound bringing chocolate) Just look at it Cadance; sweet
milk chocolate that melts on the tongue, a crunchy peanut
butter nougat, and just a hint of minty caramel that oozes
with each bite. It’s the perfect delicacy! I’ve really
outdone myself!
CADANCE (under breath)
…but I think I uh, helped out with you know, the actual
design, and the synthesization, and…
DR. REESE
Quit mumbling! You sound like what a church mouse would
sound like if it actually made a sound in church.
CADANCE
Oh, sorry sir. I was just questioning if this product would
actually sell. It’s uh…very “different” and it sort of
oozes green slime when you bite into it. I mean, not that
I’m dubious of the conceivability of this plan, I’m just
worried that it may not be safe for human consumpDR. REESE
Cadance, Cadance, Cadance… You’re doing that thing where
you’re doubting me. Tell me Cadance, who in this lab has 3
of the highest degrees in bioconsumption and chemistry? Hm?
(louder to get his point across) And who went through 13
years of culinary grad school and opened his own sweets
industry with his own 2 hands?! (pauses and sighs) You see,
when you doubt my work, you doubt my intelligence. Do I
seem inadequate to you, Cadance?
CADANCE
…no sir. I was just thinking thatDR. REESE
Leave the thinking to me, missy! This is why you’re my
lovely assistant. Now, what shall we name this
mouthwatering work of art? It’s gotta be something snappy
that will get kids’ attention. Minty Crunch? Or maybe Turbo
Nougat? Hmm this is always the tough part.
CADANCE (under breath)
Maybe we should name it Chemical Crunch because of the
repulsive green sludge oozing from its gullet.
DR. REESE
Wait a Mento! How about Chemical Crunch because of the
tantalizing evergreen liquid that seeps from it with each
bite! No wait, ChemiCrunch for short! Snappy alliterative
name and just enough to make the kids say “yum!” and the
adults say “guh-ross!” Ho ho! My own intellect astounds me
sometimes.
CADANCE (unenthusiastic)
You really are brilliant sir.
Scene 4:
INT: DEXTER’S HOME – LATER THAT EVENING
DEXTER
(sound: door opening) I’m home!
PATTY runs down the stairs (sound: stair running)
PATTY(left)
Yay! Dexter’s home! Dexter’s home! Hey Dexy!
DEXTER
Buzz off, squirt.
PATTY
~ahem! That is not how you greet Princess Patty of
Pastachio Palace, mister!
DEXTER
Yeah, if such a place actually existed.
PATTY
You’re just mad ‘cause you’re just a loooowly jester. Now
bow before me!
DEXTER
I said not now, Patty! I’m exhausted! Now go make like a
botanist and leave!
PATTY
Mom! Dexter called me a bot-..bot-...bottle...uh..A BUTT!
(voice fading as she runs away to the right) Dexter called
me a buuutt!
DEXTER’S MOM comes downstairs looking worried (sound:
walking down stairs)
DEXTER’S MOM
Dexter U. Dudley! Why on Cadbury’s chocolaty ovvums are you
just now walking through the front door at this ungodly
hour??
DEXTER
It’s only 7:30, Mom. The wrestling club ran a bit over time
since we’re preparing for the regional championships.
DEXTER’S MOM
Oh Dex, your face. Oh these bruises will take forever to
heal. You really need to stop with this wrestling club
madness; it’s not good for your health. Why not join the
Math club or something that doesn’t cause shiners like
these. Here, let me get the ointment. (sound: drawer opens)
DEXTER
It’s fine mom, I can handle it. I’m in 7th grade now. Pretty
soon I’ll be in high school where the bulli-I mean
challengers in the league will be much bigger.
DEXTER’S MOM
Yes yes, Dexter, but right now you’re still my little
gumdrop. Now hold still.
DEXTER’S MOM dabs the side of DEXTER’S face with a cloth
full of ointment.
DEXTER
Ssss! Mom that stings!
DEXTER’S MOM
Well it wouldn’t sting so much if you took better care of
yourself by taking up a better hobby. I understand you want
to be a tough boy, but there’s gotta be a point where you
learn your limits. Close your eye now. (sigh) You gotta
know how much your body can handle before it quits on you.
You’re a smart boy, so this should be common sense to you.
DEXTER
(sigh) Yeees mom…
DEXTER’S MOM
Dexter, I’m just worried that none of this is going to get
through to that cerebellum of yours until something nasty
finally happens.
DEXTER
Actually, the frontal lobe, or the Broca’s area of the
brain, controls listening and understanding, Mom. Not the
cerebell-Ow!
DEXTER’S MOM
Sorry sweetheart, gotta get you all cleaned up so you don’t
get infected.
She pauses for a sec, then starts giggling.
DEXTER
Wow, Mom, didn’t think contusions could be so funny.
DEXTER’S MOM
Oh no no, it’s just you’re so stubborn for your age; Always
trying to be the brave one, not listening to your mother’s
advice, never asking for help when you need it.
DEXTER
I don’t need any help though! I’m 12 years old and I could
outsmart anyone in a college level Calculus class!
DEXTER’S MOM
(sigh) You may be book-smart, Dex, but it’s a dangerous
world out there! I mean we’ve got hundreds of sharp-toothed
Carmelvores, massive Pieclopses andDEXTER
I don’t care! I’m going to grow up to be the smartest, most
courageous being on this planet; one who could show all of
these monsters what for! I’d NEVER back down! NEVER!
DEXTER’S MOM
And how do you expect to do that, Dexter, when something as
small as a middle school wrestling club is kicking your
tail every week!? You have to set smaller expectations for
yourself or you’ll end up like your father biting off more
than he couldShe stops herself noticing his disheartened look upon
mentioning his father
DEXTER’S MOM
(sigh) I know you want to be like him, but I don’t want you
to wind up…
PATTY (from the right)
CINNAGRYPHON!! LOOK!
PATTY who is sitting in front of the TV in the living room
shrieks in fear when she sees on the news a cinnagryphon
soaring over the city. (sounds: people screaming,
explosions)(edit audio to sound like TV output)
DEXTER’S MOM runs to the TV
REPORTER
This is Tina Tootsie from Channel 2 News reporting live
from downtown Glucotopia. As you can see behind me people
are in panic as a massive cinnagryphon soars over the city.
DEXTER’S MOM
Oh my goodness! Not another one! I thought they were all
wiped out in the last raid!
REPORTER
The Specialized Assault Logistics and Tactics team has
just arrived on the scene and is ushering civilians to
safety.
(sounds: people screaming, explosions, continue)
DEXTER has started walking upstairs (sound: stair walking)
DEXTER’S MOM
Dex? Aren’t you gonna watch this?
DEXTER
Nah. Happens every week. I’m going to bed. Night mom.
Scene 4.5: Wishes
INT: DEXTER’S Room – THAT NIGHT
Sounds: Pencil writing, drawer opening
DEXTER is sitting at his desk practicing formulas, but
daydreaming and doodling on his notebook
DEXTER
Oh no! The city is being attacked by a cinnagryphon and
the SALT team’s been taken down! Who will help us vanquish
this beast? (sounds: heroic music)Why none other than
Dynamite Dextro! Dun-dun-nana! “Look out, cinnagryphon!
Here comes my supersonic boom kick!” BOOM! And he’s down
for the count! “Oh Dextro! You’re my hero! We should study
Avogadro’s Number sometime!” “Heh heh, any time, Ruth,
aaany time.” (beat) *sigh* …if only.
DEXTER leans back in his chair and stares at his ceiling
(sound: chair creak)
DEXTER
Dad…what would it take to be as valiant as you were?
Scene 5: Talking to Ruth
INT: BUS STOP – THE NEXT MORNING
Sounds: Traffic passing, footsteps,bus screech
DEXTER stands at the bus stop waiting
TWIST arrives shortly after
DEXTER
Well I don’t believe my eyes! If it isn’t the Tardy King
himself! But what’s this? He’s actually on time today. No,
EARLY!
TWIST
Yeah yeah, feels so weird wakin’ up this early to stand
here on the side of the road at the buttcracka’ dawn
waitin’ for the ol’ cheese to show up. But hey, maybe I’m
turnin’ over a new leaf!
DEXTER
Yeah, I doubt it. Your mom kicked you out of bed this
morning threatening you with some sort of unbearable
punishment if you didn’t get to school on time. Am I right.
TWIST
Heh, alriiight Mr. Smartybean. Mom was threatening to make
me clean my big bro’s room. He plays every sport under the
sun, so his room smells like gym socks marinated in pickled
feet juice 24/7. Makes my skin melt just thinkin’ about it!
The bus pulls around the corner and stops in front of them.
(sounds: bus screech)
They climb in.
TWIST
So Dex, is today gonna be the daaay?
DEXTER
*sigh* I don’t know. Twist. You know I’m not as stupidly
bold as you. These things take time! I gotta spend days or
weeks prepping my nerves. Then I gotta analyze the kinds of
males she’s into, or if she’s even INTO males. Then I
gotta... OW!
TWIST pops him in the back of the head.
TWIST
You’re over thinkin it, Romeo! Just go up to Ruth when she
gets on at the next stop, chat her up a little bit, don’t
even ask for the gal’s number, have her be the one to give
it to you willingly. Take it from me, what gals are lookin’
for in their boys is his ability to take charge. Show that
dominant side of ya and you’ll be the suavest hombre on the
block! Here, watch this.
TWIST gets up out of his seat and struts over to a girl
sitting 3 seats behind him. He takes a seat next to her and
gets comfy.
DEXTER watches from his seat
TWIST
Hey, Sweetheart. Name’s Long John Twist, and I’m lookin’
for treasure. Can I look around your chest?
The GIRL slaps him (sound: slap), leaving a bright red
handprint across his face.
TWIST returns back to DEXTER and sits. (sound: walking)
DEXTER
Smooth, hombre.
TWIST
Shut up and focus, dum-dum. She’s about to hop on the bus.
What are you gonna say to her?
DEXTER
I told you! I’m not trying anything! What would I say?!
TWIST
Use the charm!
DEXTER
I have as much charm as a rusty zipper! Oh no here she
comes!
RUTH steps on the bus and walks towards a seat
DEXTER squeaks as she walks by. She stop turns to him.
RUTH
Hm? Did you just say something?
DEXTER
Oh…uh…well…hi.
RUTH
Um. Hi?
[AWKWARD BEAT]
DEXTER
You’re Ruth, but wait you knew that cause like, it’s your
name. But what I mean is uh…
TWIST
What my pal Dexter is trying to say is that he’s a big fan
of your science mumbo jumbo.
DEXTER
Y-yeah! Well not mumbo jumbo, but uh… I’ve seen a lot of
your quantum physics projects, and I thought they were
incredibly compelling. My favorite was when you discussed
the early developments of string theory and the discovery
of bosons.
RUTH (giggling)
Oh, wow! Well thank you. I never knew I had any “fans.” I
don’t think I’m all that great, though. I mean, compared to
well-known physicists like Robert Openheimer I’m just a
speck of pixie dust!
DEXTER
Are you kidding? You’re amazing! Although...I did notice an
error in your study where one of the exponents was off by
2. You must’ve mistaken it for the Schrodinger equation
instead of the Heisenberg equation. Don’t worry, common
mistake for novices.
RUTH
Oh...thanks? I’ll try to keep that in mind next time. Now
um, I’m gonna go sit down.
DEXTER (laughing nervously)
Right right! Cause standing up inside a bus going forward
at this velocity would be incredibly dangerous. With this
much inertia, you’d go flying right through the windshield
and end up with a concussion and a nasty contusion! I mean
not that YOU’D be nasty or anything! I’m sure you’d still
look nice with a massive bruise!
RUTH
Uh-huh...it was nice talking to you.
(sounds: footsteps) RUTH walks to a seat at the back of the
bus
DEXTER buries his head into his lap with a groan
TWIST
Smooth, hombre.
Scene 6:
INT: OUTSIDE SCHOOL – AFTER SCHOOL
Sounds: Traffic passing, footsteps, school bell, kids
talking
DEXTER and TWIST are exiting the school (sounds: School
bell)
TWIST
Well, I must say that that HAD to have been one of the most
excruciating lectures Mr. Ray has ever given.
DEXTER
You know there’s no point coming to school if you’re just
going to sleep in every class.
TWIST
I don’t doze off in EVERY class. I’m clearly wide-awake in
art class!
DEXTER(mumbling)
Yeah, because we’re required to study classic Roman art
where…
DEXTER AND TWIST
…everyone is nude.
TWIST
Exactly! Now let’s go get some of those new Razzle Dazzle
cherry smoothies at the gas joint up the street. Heard
they’re the craze nowadays.
DEXTER
Can’t. I’m allergic to cherries. They make my esophagus
swell to the size of my Aunt Carmella’s fist.
TWIST
(sound: skid) Ah-ha, so we’ve finally found the Daring
Dexter’s kryptonite!
DEXTER
Whatever. I’ll probably just get a soda or something.
Scene 6.5:
INT: GAS STATION/GENERAL STORE – A FEW MIN LATER
Sounds: occasional footsteps, shop door bell ringing,
blender
MS. JOLLY
Hello hello! Welcome to Jolly Juicy’s Gen’ral Store!
DEXTER
Ms. Jolly, you know we see you like every week right? You
don’t have toMS. JOLLY
So! What are you fine boys lookin’ fer today?
TWIST
I’d like a Razzle DaMS. JOLLY
Now now don’t tell me, don’t tell me! I bet you’re ahankerin’ for a Razzle Dazzle cherry smoothie! Am I right?
TWIST
Eh…yeah sure.
MS. JOLLY
Ha ha! I knew it! Between you and me sugar *whispering
loud* I’m actually a mindreader! But don’t tell no one, ya
hear?
TWIST
Alright, Ms. J.
MS. JOLLY revs up the smoothie machine and it drones loudly
in the background as she tries to talk to DEXTER
MS. JOLLY(yelling)
And what can I get you, sweet britches!?
DEXTER
I just want a Dr. Cola please!
MS. JOLLY
Sorry we don’t sell crapola here!
DEXTER
A Cola!
MS. JOLLY
A rolla’ what?? Toilet paper?? Duct tape??
DEXTER
Nevermind! I’m getting a candybar!
DEXTER walks away into the candy aisle (sound: footsteps,
smoothie machine fading)
(BEAT)
He notices a new candybar after looking around a bit
DEXTER
ChemiCrunch? Hm.
(Later)
MS. JOLLY
Yall come on back soon NOW! Such nice boys.
Bell on door rings again as someone else walks into the
store.
MS. JOLLY
Hello there! Welcome to Jolly Juicy’s Gen’ral Store!
TWIXIE
Hi there. My name is Twixie Tart and I’m a certified agent
from the SDA. I’ve been made aware that you are selling a
product by the name of ChemiCrunch. Am I correct, Jolly
Juicy?
MS. JOLLY
Yes’siry pop, we do!
TWIXIE
Well I must inform you that this product was infact a
failed experiment illegally distributed by the Candy Corp
Labs. It was found to have high traces of sodium cyanide,
astatine, ketamine, and polonium. It is not safe for human
consumption and I NEED to know how many you’ve sold. My
unit and I will be confiscating and incinerating the rest.
MS. JOLLY
That right, now? Hm…I reckon I sold one ‘bout a few minutes
ago... or maybe it was a few weeks ago. Hm… But before that
not a lot of people bothered. Maybe cause they were more
interested in my new Razzle Dazzle CherryTWIXIE
I don’t have the time for this, old lady. The more time I’m
wasting here, the more the city is being poisoned by these
sorry-excuses-for-chocolate monstrosities. So hand over all
of the chocolate bars and I’ll be on my merry little way.
MS. JOLLY
Eh…sure you don’t want a smoothie first? It’s pretty hot
outsTWIXIE
NOW YOU OLD BAT!!
Scene 7:
INT: STREET – LATER THAT AFTERNOON
Sounds: slurping, footsteps, traffic passing, faster
walking, candy unwrapping, suspense music, backpack
falling, heartbeat, blood running
After leaving the store, DEXTER and TWIST are walking to
their neighborhoods
TWIST takes a slurp of his smoothie. (sounds: slurping)
TWIST
~Mmm-Mmm! Dex you don’t know what you’re missin’! It’s like
the sweet cherry goodness is havin’ a 50’s swing dance on
my tongue!
DEXTER
Mmm… sucrose, artificial cherries, flavoring, and coloring,
corn syrup, and the ever so popular dextrose. So
nutritious.
TWIST
Dextrose, eh…? That’d make a pre-tty good nickname for you.
DEXTER
Because I make people’s teeth fall out?
TWIST
Nooo cause…wait…huh…that’s actually a good idea for what I
had in mind.
DEXTER
Don’t tell me you’re thinking of involving me in one of
your racy comic strips.
TWIST
Heh heh.
DEXTER
Aaannyway, I gotta start heading home before I end up
hearing: *in mom voice* “Dexter U. Dudley! How many times
have I told you not to blah blah blah!”
TWIST falls on the ground laughing. (sound: backpack fall)
TWIST
PFFTTHAHAHA!! OH MAN! YOU DO THAT WAAAY TOO WELL!
BAHAHAHA!!
DEXTER
Heh,yeah. Cause I hear it every day of my life. Anyway I
gotta split. See ya Twist. (sounds: faster footsteps)
DEXTER walks away from TWIST, who’s still rolling in tears.
(laughing fades)
DEXTER walks for a few minutes.
DEXTER
Cherries are my Kryptonite, huh? Heh, that’s funny. Oh hey!
I never tried that weird candy bar yet. ChemiCrunch was it?
DEXTER unzips his backpack, pulls out the candy bar, and
examines it. (sound: unzip backpack, candy wrapper crinkle)
DEXTER
Hm… “Now introducing the new ChemiCrunch bar. A delectable
chocolate bar packed with crunchy peanut butter nougat, and
minty caramel that oozes with each bite.” I wonder if it’s
really green like in the picture…
DEXTER unwraps the candybar
DEXTER
*sigh* Alright here goes.
DEXTER bites into the candy bar and gags
DEXTER
GLUGH! Well that was a mistake! I tasted neither peanut
butter nor caramel in this *lower voice pitch*
re…pul…sive……ugh…
(*sounds: suspense music, heart beat, stomach gurgle,
bubbles)
DEXTER feels his head start to throb and his temperature
heighten. He begins to sway back and forth, struggling to
keep his balance as he attempts to walk forward.
Dexter’s DNA strands are slowly being altered as they fuse
with the putrid contents of the candy bar flowing through
his bloodstream. If he had taken anything more than one
bite, his young body may not have been able to handle the
dangerous side effects.
He drops to his knees and shrieks as the throbbing in his
head becomes more severe. He nearly vomits from the
unbearable nausea. He finally collapses and passes out.
Scene 7.5:
INT: STREET – EVENING
Sounds: tricycle wheels and bell, backpack shuffle, running
DEXTER is still passed out on the ground and a young boy on
a tricycle keeps running into him with his front wheel.
DEXTER finally wakes up to the rude rammings
BOY
Vroom! Vroom!
DEXTER
Hey hey! What are you doing, kid??
BOY
Aw maan you’re awake now? I was gonna use you as a speed
bump for my twicycle!
The BOY rolls his tricycle into DEXTER one more time
DEXTER
QUIT IT, BRAT!
DEXTER sits up and kicks the boy’s front wheel. Normally
this would’ve sent the kid back maybe a few inches…but this
time it sent the boy rolling backwards at an incredible
speed. The boy yells as he rolls down the road.
DEXTER
Huh…what was…Ah! Oh no! It’s 11:30! I gotta get home!
(sounds: running)
Scene 8:
INT: FRONT OF SCHOOL – THE NEXT MORNING
Sounds: bus driving, kids outside, school bell,
DEXTER just got off the bus and is looking around for TWIST
to tell him about yesterday
DEXTER
Twist, for ONCE in your life can you be on time??
[School bell rings.]
DEXTER
Come on, Twist,I need to tell you about yesterday! That was
NOT a normal candy bar…
REGGIE
Oh ho? You bringin’ me candy now, shrimp? How sweeet! But I
only need my homework for English class today.
DEXTER turns around and jumps when he sees REGGIE behind
him
DEXTER
R-Reggie!! W-wait, I thought it was due next Tuesday!
REGGIE
That was the assignment for Math class, you dum-dum. Don’t
tell me you completely forgot my English paper due today. I
gave you the assignment a month ago.
DEXTER
Hang on! You gave that assignment to Weird Wyatt, not me! I
was there when you told him!
REGGIE
You callin’ me a liar??
REGGIE picks up DEXTER by the throat. DEXTER is making
choking sounds
REGGIE
You know I don’t like when pipsqueaks like you accuse a
saint like me of lyin’.
DEXTER
…Reg…no…
REGGIE left hooks DEXTER in the jaw, sending him soaring
backwards before hitting the ground (sound: punch, ground
hit) REGGIE’S assault continues.
Suddenly TWIST is heard running towards DEXTER
TWIST
DEX!! HANG IN THERE!
DEXTER(weakly)
Twist…?
REGGIE kicks him again
DEXTER groans in tears
TWIST
Come on, Dex! You gotta get up and face him!! You’re
tougher than you think! You are NOT a coward! GET UP!
These words begin reverberating in DEXTER’S mind. Those
words, and words from earlier:
Twist: “Is this what you’re old man would’ve wanted??”
Mom: “And how do you expect to do that, Dexter, when
something as small as a middle school wrestling club is
kicking your tail every week!?”
Dexter: “My dad was a hero, A HERO!”
Mom: “I know you wanna be like him, but I just don’t want
you to wind up…”
Dexter: “He could take down giants, why can’t I take down
an 8th grader…?”
Twist: “You’ve got as much guts as...well...me!”
Dexter: “The city is being attacked by a cinnagryphon and
the SALT team’s been taken down! Who will help us vanquish
this beast?”
Dexter: “Dad, what would it take to be as valiant as you
were?”
Dexter: “Why none other than-“
DEXTER(weakly)
…Dynamite…
DEXTER finally snaps back into reality when REGGIE picks
him up and begins carrying him toward a brick wall
REGGIE
You’re pretty pathetic, ya know. We’ve known each other for
years and you’ve never once put up a fight. To think you’re
the son of the great Denton Dudley who took down the
legendary Atomic Jawwrangler; well, before he got his ass
handed to him, that is. Ah well, I’ll do you a favor and
give you a one way trip to see your old man again. So, any
last words, kid?
DEXTER
…Dynamite Dextro…
REGGIE
Huh? Couldn’t hear ya.
DEXTER
Dynamite Dextro.
REGGIE
Aww you sound like a little goldfish! Run that by me ooonne
moDEXTER
DYNAMITE DEXTRO!!
(sounds: electricity) DEXTER is suddenly surrounded by a
wave of electricity, which shocks REGGIE and forces him
backwards (sound: skid)
REGGIE
Ow! H-hey! What’s goin on?? Th-this some kinda trick? Cause
this aint funny!
DEXTER (voice pitch adjust)
Supersonic BOOM KICK!!
(sounds: boom kick, electricity, debris crumble) DEXTER
hurtles REGGIE into the side of the school wall, breaking
some of the bricks off. He lands in the rubble unconscious.
DEXTER powers down before fainting (sounds: electricity
fading)
Scene 9:
INT: FRONT OF SCHOOL – AN HOUR LATER
Sounds: traffic
After a few moments, DEXTER is awoken by TWIST’S obnoxious
voice
TWIST
Deeeexteerr. Hey Dex!
DEXTER
W-wha…? What happTWIST
You shoulda seen yourself! You sent that punk flying into
the wall like he was styrophoam! How long you been holdin
out on your best friend??
DEXTER
Me?? I knocked…but how?? OW! What was that for??
TWIST pops DEXTER in the back of the head
TWIST
For not telling me that you were secretly a superhero!
DEXTER
Super…hero? I’m a… hero?
TWIST
Yeah man! It was unbelievable! You were floating, and there
was lightening, and you knocked the wind outta Reggie with
one kick!
DEXTER
But that’s impossible! Someone of my size couldn’tve
possibly hurt- …unless… that candybar…
TWIST
Candybar?
DEXTER
Oh right! Yesterday after I left you, I took a bite of that
candybar I bought at the store and I just, I dunno, passed
out on the sidewalk. Before I passed out, I remember
feeling a surge of some sort starting in my stomach and
flowing through me. It felt like…like…
TWIST
Like the powers were altering your body and fusing with
your DNA! DEX! Do you know what this means?? It’s like in
issue 17 of Choco-Zing whereDEXTER
Twist! This isn’t a comic book! This is real life! For all
I know I could’ve contracted an incurable disease that’s
twisting my intestines into pretzels!
TWIST
Cant you be optimistic for once in your life? This is
OBVIOUSLY a sign! You were chosen for this, Dex! Don’t you
know what you gotta do now?
DEXTER
Go to the hospital like a normal person woTWIST
But you’re not a normal person anymore, Smartybean! You’re
the one and only Dynamite Dextro! You said so yourseeelf!
It’s now your job to protect this city from any wrongdoers.
Fight em off one baddie at a time!
DEXTER
Why me though?? Why was I the one to get caught up in this
sugary twist of fate?? I’m just a nobody who always runs
away. Just a nobody.
TWIST
Maybe that’s exactly why you were picked, cause for once in
your life you actually stood up to that mook. You could be
the hero you’ve always wanted to be. This is your dream,
Dex!
DEXTER
My…dream.
[BEAT as birds tweet in the background]
DEXTER
*sigh* So, think I should actually join the wrestling club?
I dunno…could be something to keep me physically fit if I’m
gonna be…
TWIST
Come oonnn saaay ittt… ;)
DEXTER
…a superhero.
TWIST
HAHAHAHHAAAA!! THAT’S MY SUPERBOY!
DEXTER
Shhh! This obviously has to be a secret though. So far only
you and I know abou- WAIT! Ugh I forgot Reggie saw the
whole thing!
TWIST walks to REGGIE who’s still unconscious and snaps his
fingers in front of him
TWST
*snaps* Hm. Ehh he’s totally out cold. I doubt he’d
remember all this when he wakes up. Even if he does, what’s
he gonna say? “That shrimp Dexter beat me up with some
weird magic!” He’d be a laughing stock! You’re someone that
no one would expect cause you’re so scrawny.
DEXTER
Ha ha, very funny, delinquent. Sooo what now?
TWIST
Well…I’d suggest getting ta class so it doesn’t seem like
the top student is suddenly letting his grades slip.
Meanwhile, I’M gonna go make you a uniform and maybe a
theme song! *singing* ~Dextroooo he’s here to run the
shoooww! Dextrooo he’s always on the go!
DEXTER
Hey wait! You should be in schoolTWIST has already ran off ignoring Dexter
DEXTER
…too. *sigh* If cherries are MY kryptonite, then school is
Twist’s.
DEXTER walks towards the school and stops for a second.
DEXTER
It’s still so weird, Dad.
DEXTER softly giggles before walking inside.