Spirituality for the Rest of Us
Larry Osborne
I.
II.
III.
Chapter 2: Religion or Relationship?
A. Religion places emphasis on rules and rituals to earn God’s favor.
B. No two relationships are alike. There is no one size fits all.
C. God created us all unique. P.29 “God doesn’t just put up with our differences,
he savors them and adapts to them.”
1. House rules. God has a set of rules that applies to us all. Not hard to
know them.
2. Just like you parent two siblings different and relate to each uniquely we
also each have a unique relationship and way of relating with God. No
two relationships are alike.
3. One size fits all spirituality and discipleship must go.
Chapter 3: Jesus or John?
A. Blank slate theory: “assumption that there is only one logical response to any
body of information or set of experiences. And of course, our response is the
logical one.” P. 35 We aren’t born as a blank slate. We are radically
different. P.36
B. John the Baptist. His mission was to tell people the kingdom of God and
Messiah were coming.
1. He baptized Jesus and proclaimed him to be the One.
2. When stories of Jesus’ exploits come back to John, he sends to aids to
ask Jesus if he was the Messiah. This is the same guy that heard God
say, “This is my Son in whom I am well pleased!”
3. He probably didn’t question the miracles, but the people that Jesus spent
time with. P.38 Jesus was a party animal and John was an aesthetic.
They were both pleasing to God despite the different styles.
4. Jesus says go back and tell John what you see. They focused on the
wrong thing. Proof of his messiahship wasn’t found in his style but in the
fruit of his ministry. Fruit is important not style.
C. Reminds me of how churches fight over style. It takes all sorts of churches to
reach all sorts of people.
Chapter 4: Is It a Sin to Be Average?
A. p.44 “I would say that many (if not most) Christian leaders, wheterh they ever
say it aloud or not, think something is spiritually wrong with a low-drive
Christian.”
1. Talked about his parents who were pretty average with not a lot of drive
but were very Christ-like.
2. He looked at the Bible and determined mediocrity was a God-pleasing
option that not everyone was called to be a spiritual warrior. P. 45 If its
impossible to be below average and please God we have a BIG problem.
B. Cobblers of Corinth
1. Guys like Timothy and Titus were not the standard fruit of Paul’s ministry.
IV.
V.
2. The majority never became leaders. The cobbler was a shoemaker who
stopped viisitng the temple prostitutes, became honest in his business and
loved his family in a pagan world.
3. He stopped trying to make everyone into a leader.
C. Drive by Guiltings. Those leaders who are doing more making those who are
obeying but not matching up feel bad.
1. “Make it your ambition to lead a quite life, to mind your own business and
to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win
the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody
(1 Thess. 4:11-12)
2. The goal of spirituality is not to lead – its to know and please God. P.50
D. Listen to the prompting of the Spirit as he calls and equips us to be a better
us, rather than a poor imitation of someone else.
Chapter 5: The Case for Meandering
A. Step by step discipleship doesn’t work. The reason we do it is because its
easier to design and administrate.
B. Most spiritual growth happens on a haphazard need-to-grow basis. P.53
1. Life happens, growth kicks in…but the curriculum order is seldom the
same for any two people. P.54
2. Information, even incredibly vital information, doesn’t stick unless we’re
convinced at the time it’s delivered that it’s important to know – or at least
will be someday.
3. Spirituality is not something we master. It is a life long process.
C. If straight line, step by step works then do it. If you meander, don’t worry
about where to go next. You’ll get there as long as you look first to God and
Scripture when a need-to-grow or need-to-know crisis pops up.
1. The process of meandering through various discipleship options will keep
you connected and ready to receive information when you need it.
Chapter 6: Velcroed for Growth
A. p. 62 For most of us faced with a crisis, “the best tool will be a small cluster of
friends who covenant together to meet regularly and share the spiritual
journey.”
B. It’s not contrarian to suggest small groups. It is contrarian to be in one. Most
churches have less than 25% of people in groups.
1. Groups are pushed as promising things they don’t provide: They aren’t
good at preventing sin, no a great vehicle for meaningful Bible study,
accountability, nor are they always a source of great friendships.
2. These things may occur but they often don’t.
C. Connectedness p.64 “Belonging to a small group, small church, or any other
form of close and transparent relationships velcroes me to the people and
information I’ll need when a need-to-grow or need-to-know crisis shows up.”
1. When we don’t have a clue what the Bible says, someone in the group
probably does. Lone rangers only find what they already know.
2. The unconnected Christian has no where to turn when they need
encouragement or a push in the right direction.
3. P.65 “It’s a hard place to hide.”
VI.
VII.
D. Hebrews 10:24-25. This passage isn’t about church attendance. It’s about
staying connected. Over time we become like those we spend time with.
E. Honesty: If I want to grow I have to be honest with people and need honest
friends who will tell me the truth. It’s easy to get around that in a mid-size
church or Sunday School class.
F. P. 69 “…it’s imperative that we somehow find a place where our reality
speaks louder than our image, where the upside of positive peer pressure
spurs us on to greater heights, and where we’re positioned to receive the help
we need the moment we need it.”
Chapter 7: The Dimmer Switch Principle
A. The Consultant God. P.74. This happens when we take God’s Word as wise
suggestions but ultimately we make the final decision. God doesn’t do
consulting. When we treat God that way he simply stops showing up.
B. The Dimmer Switch Principle. God not only stops showing up, he pulls back
some of the light he’s already given us.
1. p.75 “When we respond to the light we have, God gives us more. When
we don’t, he takes away the light we already have.”
2. Romans 1:18-32. Moral decay is the result of rejecting the truth they
already knew.
3. On the other hand when we obey, God turns up the light no matter how
dim it was. Proverbs 4:18-19.
C. I don’t have to worry about the things I don’t know.
1. In the beginning its hard to distinguish right from wrong.
2. The longer we walk in obedience the clearer it gets.
D. P. 78. This undercuts the assumption that those who know the most about
the Bible are also the most spiritual. The amount of light we have isn’t nearly
as important as what we’re doing with that light .
Inside Out
A. Spiritual growth happens from the inside out and is something God does.
B. P.82-83 “And that means my spiritual growth isn’t so much the result of my
hard work, intellect, and rigid self-discipline. Instead, it’s the direct result of
my willingness to listen and yield to the Spirit’s inner promptings as he works
to guide and change me from the inside out.
C. Sin puts static on the line. It hinders us from clearly hearing the Spirit’s
leading and restricts the free flow of his power. “It’s not a matter of digging
deep to produce our own spiritual growth. It’s more in line with being willing
to let go of our own agenda and allowing him the freedom to let go of our
agenda and allowing him the freedom to genuinely change us from the inside
out.”
1. Remove as much static as possible. Do this by obeying.
2. Openness to the help and insight of other believers.
3. Heart matter: Am I willing to let God change me? Philippians 2:12-13
“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God
who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” God
provides more than just power. He provides the motivation. Prayer
changes to Lord help me want to do it.
VIII.
IX.
D. Obeying on the outside.
1. Like a child forced to sit in the corner who says, “Yeah but I’m standing on
the inside.” We try to obey on the outside while disobeying on the inside.
2. It makes doing the right thing harder and stops the work of the Spirit.
3. P.89 “The greatest sign of God’s work in our life is not a pattern of rugged
self-denial and dig-deep obedience. It’s wanting what God wants – then
going out and doing it.”
Chapter 9: The High Place Principle
A. God has a way of blessing and using the wrong people. God understands
and makes allowances for spiritual blindspots.
B. Story of Solomon asking for wisdom.
1. First four verses tell us the kind of person God uses. Solomon married
Pharaoh’s daughter buying off a major military threat. Isaiah 30:1-3
speaks agains that.
2. Solomon allows for continued worship at the high places. He even joined
them. When it came time for a special sacrifice to the Lord, he did it in
Gibeon a famous high place.
3. God shows up and says, what can I do for you? God saw these as
spiritual and cultural blind spots for him and for many of the kings who
followed. How else do you explain the recurring theme in Scripture where
kings, “did what was right in the eyes of the LORD,” but whose
condemnation is followed immediately by the comment, “The high places,
however, were not removed.”? How could they do right if they didn’t obey
what God said? See 1 Kings 15:14
4. Its not different than Martin Luther’s virulent anti-Semitic statements or
American Christians who supported racial slavery and segregation.
C. God wants obedience to the light we have. P.101 “Once I grasp that God
understands and makes allowance for my own high places, there’s no reason
to lie awake at night worrying if I’ve somehow unintentionally missed it. As
long as I obey the light I have I can be confident.
The Mustard Seed Principle
A. Tells a story about a new Christian he was traveling with and the car broke
down. The new Christian said let’s pray God fixes the alternator. He doubted
but they prayed. It started. In this case his lack of knowledge of cars made it
possible to have “faith”.
B. P. 106 “Bottom line: God wants us to trust him – to trust him enough to do
what he says, no matter how we eel or how certain we are that things will
work out. The Greek word translated ‘faith’ in our Bible has nothing to do with
a powerful imagination, eradicating doubt, or any other form of mind over
matter. It has nothing to do with feelings or mental imagery. It has to do with
obedience.”
1. Example is the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abendego. They say
God can save us from the fire, “but even if he does not…”
a. That’s great faith. Trusting God enough to obey even when we’re sure
it won’t work out in the short run. They must have been as shocked by
their deliverance as Nebuchadnezzar was.
X.
b. Most often God’s reward comes much later – in a place and time called
eternity.
2. Story of Peter being released from jail
a. People pray for his release. He’s released. He assumes it’s a
dream. He didn’t expect to be released. He goes to the house
where people are praying. The girl who answered the doors tells
everyone he’s there and they don’t believe her.
b. Peter and his friends had no expectations that God would answer
their prayers. They doubted so much they didn’t believe it when it
happened.
c. God can come through even when we doubt his ability to do so.
C. Faith the size of a Mustard Seed
1. Jesus wasn’t encouraging us to have more faith. He was telling us we
already had enough.
2. Context of Jesus saying forgive seven times in a day. Luke 17:3-4. They
thought that was impossible so they reply increase our faith. Jesus says if
mustard-seed-sized faith can move a mountain, forgiving should be easy.
They didn’t need more faith. They needed to forgive. They needed to act
on the faith God had given them even if it seemed like a losing
proposition. It’s about trusting God’s logic not ours.
Chapter 11: What’s Zeal Got to Do with It?
A. In a relationship things are very hot and heavy at the beginning. You can’t
duplicate that. But that doesn’t mean the relationship is bad. In reality, the
relationship can be deeper and more exciting than the shallow experiences of
the first days. It’s the same with our relationship with God.
B. P.117 “With the passage of time, passion and zeal tend to be experienced
quite differently than they were at first.”
C. Passion of David’s Psalms are more of a description of one man’s journey
than a prescription for the rest of us.
1. David’s passion and zeal come out of his personality.
2. He passionately pursued God but he also passionately pursued another
man’s wife.
D. Jesus call to love God with all our heart, soul and mind.
1. He’s exhorting us to keep God always at the center of everything in our
lives.
2. In English, the word loves carries a strong emotional component. In
Greek, it conveys self-sacrifice and putting others first.
3. In English, heart is the seat of our emotions. When we hear love God with
all your heart, we think emotions. For the NT audience, heart was the
seat of the will. (stomach was seat of emotions). To love God with all
your heart meant a deep-rooted act of the will, a profound and
unchangeable dedication and commitment to the things of God.
E. Ephesian Church in Revelation 2. Lost first love.
1. The first four verses of Revelation 2 describe a church incredibly zealous
and passionate for God.
XI.
XII.
2. Agape love. It was rarely used in Greek. It was picked up by Christians to
describe the sacrificial love God has for us and the kind we should have
for others. It puts the needs of others first whether we feel like it or not.
Apply that to marriage. 1 Corinthians 13 is made up of action words. Not
one refers to feelings or emotion.
3. P.122 “The problem was not that they’d lost some level of emotional zeal
for God; they still had that in spades. But along the way they’d somehow
stopped responding with the kind of agape love that put the needs and
interests of others above their own; the love that had earlier enabled them
to be truly forbearing with one another; the love that once had cared for
and reached out to even the most ardent enemies of Christ.”
4. Jesus didn’t tell them to come back to a certain feeling. Instead, he
commanded a set of actions consistent with agape love. “Repent and do
the things you did at first.” Similar to the Love Dare in Fireproof.
F. Genuine spirituality isn’t found in my emotions.
Chapter Twelve: Fences
A. The point of this chapter is that we often add extra rules (fences) to protect us
from temptation and sin. Ex. Don’t drink so you won’t be tempted to get
drunk.
1. We must not think God’s fences are good enough, so we put up our own.
2. They have the appearance of spiritual wisdom. But in reality, they do
nothing to restrain sin or develop godliness.
B. They sabotage God’s agenda in two areas.
1. Instead of protecting us from sin as advertised, they often actually
increase the odds that we’ll eventually scamper over one of his fences.
2. Instead of upholding God’s reputation and honor, in reality they often end
up scaring off the very people Jesus came to reach. It scares people
away from God.
C. What inevitably happens is we test the fences. We see that we crossed on
and didn’t get burned so we try the next one. This goes on until we get
zapped. The extra fences actually desensitize us from God’s truth.
1. Church has often taught that drinking is a sin. Then you sip a beer without
turning into a drunk.
2. We learn our lesson. The warnings we hear at church are full of hot air.
D. We send a subtle message to pre-Christians: Clean up your act and then you
can come to God.
E. This was the problem with circumcision in the early church. It became an
obstacle faith for the Gentiles.
F. God doesn’t make mistakes. He got the Bible right the first time. Our extra
fences aren’t needed they are harmful.
Chapter Thirteen: Best Practices Overload
A. “God hasn’t called us to be world-class – or even very good at everything.
Instead, he’s given each of us our own unique calling together with the
necessary gifting to pull it off.” P. 138
XIII.
XIV.
B. The idea of this chapter is that following the best practices and spiritual
disciplines of all the best Christians we’ve heard about doesn’t work. It’s like
a golfer trying getting upset that he can’t kick a field goal.
C. This doesn’t mean that we can’t learn from others or shouldn’t stretch
ourselves spiritually. P.141 “But these God-inspired areas of growth and
change will for the most part align with who we are and what we have been
called to do and become.”
D. Subtle form of Rebellion
1. Everyone has at some time devalued their own gifts and longed for
someone else’s. At its core, it’s a form of rebellion against God’s creative
act in my life, fueled by the curse of comparison.
2. “If God made you an eye, being hard of hearing is no big deal. Ignore the
weakness. Instead of worrying about what you can’t hear, keep improving
your vision.”
Chapter Fourteen: Gift Projection
A. p. 144 “Gift Projection takes place whenever we begin to project our own
unique gifts and calling upon everyone else, as if our assignment should be
their assignment, and our strengths their strengths.”
B. Drive by Guiltings
1. Those in compassion ministries. They tell there stories about selling
everything they have to go live with the poor. You walk away feeling like a
loser.
2. Those with the gift of evangelism who make those without it feel like bad
Christians.
3. To experience God-pleasing spirituality its important to say no to drive by
guiltings. We must learn not to project our gifts on others and must learn
to say no other’s projection on us.
C. God’s calling comes from God, not from everyone else who claims to love us.
Chapter Fifteen: Seeking Balance
A. Concept of balance is a reflection of American values. Most biblical heroes
did not have balanced lives.
1. Noah build a nice boat. But he had significant family issues and an
alcohol problem.
2. Moses was a top leader, but also a workaholic.
3. David was in touch with his inner self, but not with his sons or wives.
B. P. 153 “The activist Christian who volunteers at the local soup kitchen or
pregnancy crisis center probably doesn’t have enough time left over for a
balanced regimen of aerobic exercise, serious Bible study, reflection, and
journaling.
1. We each have a unique calling and role to play.
2. Doing that well sometimes means being out of balance.
C. Three Questions
1. What season is this? The mother of 2-3 preschoolers can’t also have a
consistent Bible reading, prayer, physical exercise, proper diet, etc.
2. What does God want me to do today? Gave the example of being a
student with finals. He let his daily devotion time go during finals in order
to do well on the finals. When they were over he found God hadn’t
disowned him.
3. Is anything so out of balance that it’s beginning to harm my health,
relationships, or walk with God?
XV. Chapter Sixteen: Why Results Don’t Matter?
A. p. 159 “The problem is that we don’t always know when things first start to go
astray. If we blow it big-time, it’s usually pretty clear. But a subtle shift into
self-sufficiency, arrogance, or self-centeredness can be a lot harder to
recognize. We’re all pretty good at self deception.”
B. How we measure spiritual success. Which is faulty.
1. Look inside for inner peace. A clear conscious can’t be trusted.
2. Look outside at results of our decisions.
C. The role of our conscious
1. It’s not a God-given warning system.
2. “It’s more of a thermostat. Once set to the standards we believe in, it
clicks in – but only when we begin to violate our own standards, not
Gods.” P.160
D. The problem with results is whether I’m succeeding or failing has little or
nothing to do with whether I’m on the right path.
1. Think of Job’s run of bad luck our conversely Samson’s run of good luck.
2. God’s plan and handiwork have always been hard to see in the moment.
3. Success springs from many sources. God’s favor may or may not be one
of them.
E. The only sure sign I’m on good terms with God is my obedience to his
commands and laws. This alone proves I know him and love him.
F. Proverbs not Promises. Proverbs are statements of how life generally works,
not promises as to how it always works.
G. Fooled by failure: p. 165 “Our deeply ingrained assumption that failure must
mean something is spiritually wrong makes it nearly impossible to accept the
idea that we can fail when everything is spiritually okay.” Look at Job.
XVI. Chapter Seventeen: Preparing the Horse
A. Proverbs 21:30-31. “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can
succeed against the LORD. The horse is made ready for the day of battle,
but victory rests with the LORD.
1. The final outcomes are in the hands of the Lord. His will prevails.
2. The one thing you can control is, “are you doing the right thing?” Are you
preparing the horse for battle?
B. There is an unseen realm where things happen we don’t understand.
1. Story of Achan. The battle was lost in the unseen realm.
2. In America we place the emphasis on the rights and responsibilities of the
individual. Achan’s actions had community implications.
C. Summary: We can’t control the outcomes, but we can control what we do.
XVII. Chapter Eighteen: Tools or Rules
A. Are spiritual disciplines tool to know God better or rules to live by? Answer:
Tools.
B. The premise here is that if a spiritual discipline is bringing you closer to God
do it. If it’s not, then don’t. p.179 “There’s no value in using any tool for the
tool’s sake. If it helps accomplish the task, it’s a wise choice. If it doesn’t, it’s
a foolish choice.
C. Prescriptive vs. Descriptive. Some passages are commands. Others are
descriptions of what someone else did. Ex. – “If worship patterns found in
Psalms are prescriptive, shouldn’t tending sheep be a prerequisite to spiritual
leadership?”
1. Acts 2 Picture of the church is clearly descriptive, yet its become a
template to follow rather than an example to learn from.
2. A tools value is in what it produces not the tool themselves.
D. Finding What Works for You
1. Try them all
2. Keep What Works
3. Be Honest. Ask yourself, “Where do I most need to grow?” When you
sense the prompting of the Spirit give it a whirl.
4. Know Yourself.
XVIII. Chapter Nineteen: The Potential Trap
A. There is an American cultural value that says, “Be All You Can Be.” We’ve
taken that value into the church to say that we have to maximize the potential
that God has given us for maximum kingdom impact.
B. Parable of the Talents
1. We often interpret that as literal talents and read it as a warning about
unfulfilled potential.
2. The guy with one talent (money) was criticized by the master because he
didn’t obey and invest the money. It’s a warning about ignoring God-given
assignments and doing nothing to advance the cause of the master.
C. We have a self-inflated view of our talents and skills.
1. Think American Idol. Many of the worst contestants think they are good.
2. We live in a culture that feeds this. It’s politically incorrect to tell anyone
they’re not good at something even when they stink.
D. P.194 Jesus didn’t say, “If you love me, you’ll fulfill your potential.” He said,
“If you love me, you will obey what I command.” Obeying Scripture can shorcircuit our potential.
1. He gave the personal example of writing. When he was writing this book
his son said, “I don’t like it when Dad writes; he doesn’t play with me.” He
and his wife decided that he would put writing aside until the kids were out
of high school. He missed his potential, but was obedient.
2. Our culture asks, “How big is your entourage? How many on your staff?
How large the crowd? How wide the influence? Jesus asks, “Who are
you serving?” Matthew 20:26-28
E. “While potential seeks greatness in being all I can be, serving others seeks
greatness in helping others be all they can be…For some of us, it means
playing second fiddle with first-fiddle gifts, fulfilling a commitment we wish
we’d never made, or dying to a dream while helping someone else achieve
theirs.” P.195
XIX.
XX.
Chapter Twenty: Glass House Living
A. Why Accountability Groups Don’t Work
1. They aren’t found in the Bible.
2. People lie. The thought of coming clean is supposed to keep you from
temptation. The problem is people lie especially about things that are
uncomfortable, embarrassing or shame-producing.
B. Glass House Living is based on the simple observation that anonymity and
secrecy breed sin.
1. Granting a fairly large circle of friends and co-workers the right to barge in
and express their unease at the first sign of concern is a powerful way to
keep small things from morphing into big things.
2. Glass house living gives them permission to barge in and make the
danger known before it becomes a problem.
C. P. 208 “I wish I could say my knowledge that God watches everything is
enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. I wish my strong belief in a
future day of judgment was enough to scare me away from sin. But it’s not.”
Chapter Twenty One: Priority Number One
A. We typically have the priority list: 1. God 2. Family 3. Work. But that’s tough
to really understand. How far do you take it? You can never really be done
serving/worshipping God.
B. Stop putting God first and put him in the middle.
1. “In Jesus Name”. He was challenging us to bring God into everything we
do, to begin seeing every action and event as an opportunity to represent
God well.
2. P.214 “When we see God as the first priority on a list rather than the
center of everything we do, we have a strong tendency to assume that
taking care of the things in the God box equals putting God first.”
C. Putting God in the middle helps you see everything you do in life as
something spiritual.