Name of Respondent: Rajeev
Interviewer:
Recording time: 33: 18
Date of Interview:
I: Subject bhi alag alag hai inke? (They have different subjects?)
R: Subjecton ke bare mein toh mujhe nahin malum. (I don’t know about subjects.)
I: Apko nahin malum, Apna thoda kaam ke bare mein bataiye ki aap kab se ye kar
rahe hai dihadi mazduri shuru se hi? Koi zamin nahin koi kuch nahin? (You don’t
know, tell us a little bit about your work, since when you are working, do you work as a
wage-laborer since the beginning? You don’t have any land etc? )
R: Koi zamin nahi koi kuch nahin ji. (I have no land…nothing.)
I: Apke Pita ke pas mein? (What about your father?)
R: Koi kuch nahin hai ji. (Nothing…we have nothing.)
I; Achha, Apki biradri kon si aati hai? (Ok, which caste are you from?)
R: Harizan. (From Harijan.)
I: Zamin nahin hai or kab se matlab apne kaam sikh liya tha matlab aap athvi tak
padhe uske baad hi lag haye kaam pe? (You don’t have land and since when did you
start working…after finishing class 8th…you started working after that?)
R; Han ji. (Yes.)
I: Shaadi kab hui thi? (When did you marry?)
R; Shaadi meri hui thi 1990 mein. (I married in 1990.)
I: Toh tabse aap kaam karte ho? (You have been working since then?)
R: Han ji. (Yes.)
I: Toh tab apka ghar aisa hi tha? (Your house was like this then?)
R: Han ji aisa hi hai shuru se hi. Buzurgo se aise hi chala a raha hai koi tarkki nahin hui
hai matlab koi. (Yes, it has been like this since the beginning. It has been like this for
ages, there hasn’t been any progress.)
I: Achaa 1 toh ye karma hai or? (Ok, this is one room.)
R: Or ye kachhe hai. (These are the mud ones.)
I: Kachhe hai, ismein kitne kamre hai? (These are mud ones, how many rooms are
there?)
R; Ismein ek portion aage hai 1 pichhe hai. (There is one portion in front, and another at
back.)
I: 2 portion hai, achha apka koi BPL card ya kuch is tarha ka? (There are 2 portions,
do you have a BPL card or something like that.)
R: BPL card hai ji. (I have a BPL card.)
I: Achha toh usmein kya suvidhaye hoti hai? (Okay, so what are the benefits of that.)
R: Usmein Anaj wagerah mil sakta hai. (I get cereals etc.)
I: Anaj mil sakta hai. (You get cereals.)
R: Makaan kachhe hone ke bavjud bhi mere 8 number diye hue hai. (Even though I have
a mud-based house, I have a 8 number.)
I: 8 Number matlab? (What do you mean, you have 8th number?)
R: Matlab Rashan mil sakta hai or koi suvidha nahin mil sakti. (That means, I can get
some ration, nothing else.)
I: Achha kam jayada number hote hai toh? (Okay, there is something like higher and
lower numbers?)
R: Han ji jaise 3-4 numbaer tak kachhe makan pakke karane ki suvidha deti hai
Government. (Yes, for 3-4 number, the government gives the option of converting a mud
house to a permanent house.)
I: Achha, Usmein nahin hai? (Ok, It is not there.)
R: Usmein nahin hai. (It is not there in that.)
I: Uske liye kya hota hai? (What is needed for that?)
R: Iske liye karna kya hai jo Government ne karna hai vahi karegi. (What is required for
that, I don’t know, the government does what it likes.)
I: Yeh ghas ka hai katne ka toh koi pashu bhi hai? (You have this tool to cut grass, do
you have an animal too?)
R: Han pashu bhi hai bhens hai. (Yes, I have an animal, a bullock.)
I: Bhens hai, Motorcycle? (You have bullock, a motorcycle too?)
R: Nahin. (No.)
I: Kitni bhens hai? (How many bullocks do you have?)
R: 1 bhens hai 1 gaay hai. (I have a bullock and a cow.)
I: Motorcycle? (A motorcycle.)
R: Nahin hai.(I don’t have.)
I: Cycle? (Cycle?)
R: Han cycle hai. (I have a cycle.)
I; Yeh ladki ko cycle vahin se mili hai? (The girl has got a cycle from there only.)
R: Nahin apni di hui hai (No, I have given mine.)
I: School mein nahin mili? (She didn’t get it at school.)
R: Nahin school mein kuch nahin mila. (No, she didn’t get anything at school.)
I: Achha, Frizz hai apka? (Ok, you have a fridge?)
R: Bachhon ko garmi mein apni pasnd hai toh lelo bhai. (If the children want to get it in
summer, they can.)
I: Achha, Toh ismein kaam apko kahaan milta hai? (Ok, where do you get work?)
R: Apas mein mistri ka toh kabhi kabhi toh mil jata hai yeh hi kaam karte rehte hai. (I get
work as a repair-man/service-man sometimes, so I do it.)
I: Achha, Ismein kitni apki kamai ho jati hai? (Ok, How much do you earn in that?)
R: Kamai kya ji mahine mein 4 dihadiya lag gayi 10 bhi lag ja, 8 bhi lag ja 4 bhi lag jaa
(What do I earn, in a month sometimes, I work for 4 days, sometimes for 10 days, and
sometimes for 8 days…)
I: Matlab 30 din mein 10? (You mean 10 out of 30 says?)
R: Han. (Yes.)
I: Pura 30 di nahin hota na? (You don’t get work for all 30 days?)
R: Nahin. (No.)
I: Toh baccho ki fees kitni hoti hai? (How much fees do the children have to pay?)
R: Baccho ki fees toh ji ab lagi hai matlab jaise 11th main gaye hai toh ji 6 mahine ki 300
hai. (Children’s fees, in class 11th they pay 300.)
I: 6 mahine ki 300 dono ki? (For 6 months, 300 for both of them.)
R: Ek ki. (For one.)
I: Haan matlab 300-300 dono ki? (You mean 300-300 for each one.)
R: Haan. (Yes.)
I: Pehale nahin thi 11th se pehale? (It was not like this, before class 11th.)
R: Ji haan pehale nahin thi. (No it was not there before.)
I: Toh ab kuchh in logo ko kitaabe wagera is tareh ka? (So, what about the books for
them?)
R: Naa kitaabe vitaabe nahin milti. (No, they don’t get books etc.)
I: Kuchh vajeefa wagera is tareh ka? (Do get any stipend etc.)
R: Naa kuchh nahin milta. (No, they don’t get anything.)
I: Achha kuchh nahin milta subject aapko maalum nahin hai arts main hai science
main hai? (Do you know anything about their subjects...they have arts or science?)
R: Ji arts main hai ji. (They have arts.)
I: Dono dono arts main hai? (Both of them have arts.)
R: Haan ji. (Yes.)
I: Achha waise aapko maalum hai ki kon tezz hai padhai main? (Do you know, who
is better at studies?)
R: Tezz toh dono hi hai. (Both are good.)
I: Dusvi ke number achhe the? (They got good marks in class 10th.)
R: Ji dusvi main toh jo ladki hai uski compartment aayi jo anil tha voh pass ho gaya aisa
hua lekin ladki tezz hai padhai main.(In class 10th , the girl got a compartment and Anil
passed. But the girl is good in studies.)
I: Ladki achhi hai padhai main? (The girl is good at studies?)
R: Haan ji voh tezz hai. (Yes, she is smart.)
I: Achha toh kuchh 10-15 saal pehale jab aapki shaadi hui jab bacche hue tab bhi
aapki ghar ki halaat aisi thi? (10-15 years ago, when you were married, your house
was like this only?)
R: Ji aisi thi. (Yes, it was like this only.)
I: Or achhi thi yaa buri thi? (It was good or bad?)
R: Nahin ji bas aisi hi thi. (No, it was like this only.)
I: Aisi hi thi achha phir aap kya chahte hai ki ladki kahan tak padhe ladka aapke
dono bacche? (What do you want for your children, till what level should the girl and
the boy study?)
R: Ji ladki ko toh kam se kam baharvi class toh karvaani hai. (The girl should study at
least till classs 12.)
I: Kam se kam or ladke ko bhi? (At the least, for the boy too?)
R: Ladka jitna marji padh le aage leikn ladki ka toh aisa hai ki agar gaon main plus two
ho gaya toh plus two karva denge. (The boy can study as much as he likes, for the girl, if
she can study till class 12 in the village, we will let her do that.)
I: Uske baad? (After that?)
R: Uske baad agar padhna chaha toh padh legi layak hogi padhne ke toh padh legi. (After
that, she can study if she likes and if she is capable of doing that.)
I: Toh yeh kaise pata lagate hai ki padhne ke layak hai? (How would you know if she
is capable of studying?)
R: Bacche ki nature ka pata lag jata hai. (We get to know about a child’s nature.)
I: Nature ka pata lag jata hai kaise? (How do you get to know about the nature of the
child?)
R: Jaise ki baccha thik chal raha hai yaa galat chal raha hai uske hisaab se pata chal jata
hai. (We get to know if a child is going in the right direction or wrong direction.)
I: Matlab padhai ke alava or cheejo se? (You mean something else other than
studies?)
R: Haan or cheejo pe bhi dhyan dena padta hai. (Yes, we have to look at other things as
well.)
I: Or cheeje matlab thoda? (What do you mean other things?)
R: Matlab aisa hai na ki baccha galat toh nahin chal raha thik chal raha hai ki galat chal
raha uske upar depend karta hai. (It depends on whether the child is on the right path or
the wrong path.)
I: Uske upar depend karta hai matlab aage koi course is tareh ka maan lo ki achhi
chali gayi toh koi aisa course hai is tareh ka teaching ka yaa computer ka s tareh ka
aapne kuchh socha hai? (If everything is fine, have you thought of any course for her
like teaching or computer.)
R: Haan yeh bhi socha hai aage kismat hai ji. (Yes, I have thought, the rest is fate.)
I: Or ladke ko kahan tak padhayenge? (Till what level will you educate the boy?)
R: Ladke ko dekhte hai plus two ke upar na kuchh na kuchh isko course karayenge kuchh
karayenge ji kuchh kha lo. (We will see, we will try to get him to do a course after
12th...eat something.)
I: Nahin nahin kha ke aaye hai bas chaye bahut hai jaise ladki dur jaati hai aap
bata rahe ho ki or ladkiyo ke saath jaati hai toh kuchh pareshaani toh nahin hoti?
(No, no we just ate. As you were saying, the girl goes far and she goes with the rest of
the girls, there are no problems?)
R: Naa ji pareshaani toh koi nahin hoti aisi koi pareshaani nahin hai. (No there are no
problems.)
I: Cycle se jaati hai? (She goes on a cycle?)
R: Haan cycle se jaati hai cycle se aati hai. (She goes on cycle and comes back on cycle.)
I: Ji yeh yahan se kitna dur hai? (How far is it from here?)
R: Yeh yahan se teen kilo meter dur hai. (It is 3 Kilometers from here.)
I: Teen kilo meter achhawaise nbahut log thoda ghabrate hai ladki ko bahar bhejne
main toh us tareh ka? (3 Kms, people are very hestitant in sending the girls out.)
R: Nahin voh yahan pe humare baccho ke layak thik hai aisi koi baat nahin hai bacche ke
upar bhi depend karta hai na aana jaana. (It is fine with our kids, it depends on the kids as
well.)
I: Achha aapki yahan shaadi ki umar kitni rehti hai? (At what age, do people get
married here?)
R: Shaadi toh ladki ki 18 ke baad hi karenge. (We marry the girl after 18 only.)
I: Ladki ki? (For the girl?)
R: Haan. (Yes.)
I: Foren 18 ke baad yaa? (Just after 18 or..?)
R: Nahin ek-do saal aage bhi ho sakta hai. (No, we can wait 1or 2 years.)
I: Aage bhi chale jayenge? (You can wait also?)
R: Haan bees-ikkis tak kar denge. ( Yes, we marry by 20-21.)
I: Aam tor se gaon main kya hoti hai? (What is the usual age in the village?)
R: Aam tor se toh 18 ke baad shaadi kar dete hai. (Usually, we marry the girl after 18.)
I: 18 ke baad 18 se pehale bhi kuchh kuchh hoti hai? (After 18, do girls get married
before 18 too?)
R: 18 se pehale bhi kuchh kuchh hoti hai jaise main keh raha than a ki bacche ke upar bhi
depend karta hai jaisa baccha chalega uske hisaab se maa baap challenge. (Yes, some do
get married before 18...as I was saying it depends on the kids...)
I: Toh pehale kuchh dus-pandreh saal pehale or ab main kuchh antar aaya hai
pehale kya hai na jaldi ho jaati thi yaa aaj? (Have there been any changes in last 1015 years...did marriages happen at an early age earlier as compared to today?)
R: Pehale toh jamana kuchh or tha ab kuchh or hai ji. (Earlier things were different.)
I: Aap jab kitne bade the jab aapki shaadi hui thi? (When did you get married?)
R: Meri ikkis saal main hui thi. (I got married when I was 21.)
I: Or aapki patni ki? (What was the age of your wife?)
R: Yeh 18 ki thi. (She was 18.)
I: Toh tab aapki toh thik hui thi lekin or log ki chhoti main hoti thi shaadi? (So,
yours was fine...but did people get married at a younger age?)
R: Ji haan bahut si shaadi hui thi pata lagai thi. (Yes, there were many such marriages.)
I: Matlab pehale? (You mean earlier?)
R: Haan ji. (Yes.)
I: Achha beti ka kuchh rishta kuchh is tareh ki baat vaat shaadi ka hai kya idhar?
(Have you thought anything about the marriage of your daughter?)
R: Humare apni. (Our daughter.)
I: Haan. (Yes.)
R: Nahin abhi nahin hai kuchh. (No, there is nothing right now.)
I: Or bête ka? (For the son?)
R: Nahin abhi nahin saal do saal tak apna kaam nahin seekhta kuchh. (No,not now...not
for 1 or 2 years...until he learns some skills.)
I: Toh kiss tareh matlab baat chalti hai shaadi ki gaon main matlab kya rivaaz hota
hai? (So, how do marriages happen in the village, what are the traditions?)
R: Gaon main toh aisa rivaaz hai ji aap jaise rishte daar ho gaya yaa yaar mitr ho gaya toh
usse baat chalyenge. (In the village, it is like this, if you have a relative or a friend, you
will go and talk to them.)
I: Matlab apne hi rishte daaro main hi hoti hai? (You mean, marriage happens
amongst the relatives?)
R: Nahin nahin rishte daaro main nahin rishte daari se alag hoti hai. (No, no, it doesn’t
happen amongt the relatives.)
I: Achha toh alag gaon main bhi hoti hai? (Does it happen in other villages also?)
R: Haan alag gaon main bhi hoti hai. (Yes, it happens in other villages also.)
I: Matlab ambala main yaa or dur dur? (You mean to say, in Ambala or even
further...)
R: Nahin nahin aise kuchh nahin hai chahe ambala main chahe nangadh. (No no, it is
nothing like that...In Ambala or in Nangandh.)
I: Toh yeh 18 main jo hoti hai shaadi yeh kanoon ki vajeh se hi hai? (So, the
marriage at 18, is it due to the law?)
R: Haan kanoon ki vajeh se bhi hai or hai bhi thik. (It is due to the law also, and it is
good anyway.)
I: Kaise matlab? (What do you mean?)
R: Matlab baccha jo ho voh is umar main sahi hota hai umar jo hoti hai voh pak jaati hai.
(The kid grows up and becomes mature by this age.)
I: Jaise kuchh log kehte hai ki mahole kharab hai toh jaldi kar deni chahiye? (Like
some people say, the way things are, its better to marry earlier?)
R: Isme kya hai or maa baap kya karega usko toh karna padega na bhai baccha galat
chale jaaye toh maa baap kya karega apni ijjat bachane ke liye voh shaadi kar dega.
(What is there in that? What will the parents do...they have to do something if the kids go
in the wrong direction...they will have to marry them to save their honor.)
I: Ijjat bachane ke liye shadi kar dega toh yeh mahole matlab kis tareh kharab hai
sunte toh hum log bahut hai lekin gaon ka hume nahin pata ki gaon main kiss
tareh? (They will marry to save their honor...but how is the atmosphere bad in the
village...we hear about it, but we do not know, how the atmosphere in the villages is
bad?)
R: Gaon main is tareh hai ki bacche hai bacche hai buri sangat hai ladko ki shararte karte
hai din main voh sharate baccho ko bigaad deti hai maa baap ka dar khatam kar deti hai.
(It is like this in the villages, if the kids fall in to bad company, they do naughty
things...these give children a bad character and they don’t fear parents anymore.)
I: Toh ladke aaj kal kaise hai? (So, how are the boys these days?)
R: Ladki bhi ladke jaisi hi hoti hai. (Girls are also like the boys?)
I: Matlab yeh kyun ho raha hai aisa aaj kal aapke jamaane main nahin tha kya ki
ladke shararti hote hai? (Why is it like this today? Earlier, weren’t boys naughty too?)
R: Hote the ji lekin bahut kam the. (They used to be, but only a few of them.)
I: Bahut kam the. (They were very few.)
R: Maa baap ka dart ha. (They were afraid of parents.)
I: Toh yeh antar matlab hum samajhna chah rahe kyun hai matlab aapke jamaane
main jyada voh tha? (We are trying to understand this change...)
R: Antar pata hai kya hai ji jaise yeh tv ho gaye tv dekh kar usme naye naye channel dekh
rahe hai usme shooting chal rahi hai us shooting ki tareh kar rahe hai voh sochte hai ki
jaisa isme ho raha hai vaisa hi mujhpe beet raha hai voh uski rees karte hai. (The
difference is that today they watch TV, they see many new channels, they see shooting
and they behave like that. They try to relate their lives to the happenings in the TV and
then they do the same things.)
I: Kya rees kya hota hai? (What is ree?)
R: Rees matlab use dekhke uski nakal karna. (Rees means they mimick.)
I: Toh aapke jamaane main is tareh ka koi saadhan nahin tha? (In your times, there
were no such things like TV?)
R: Haan humare jamaane main nahin tha voh toh tv humne sodhi main liya. (Yes, it was
not there in our times, we bought TV in sodhi.)
I: Kya shaadi main? (You mean in the marriage?)
R: Nahin matlab apne poore hosho havaaz main. (No, I mean when I had grown up.)
I: Toh us jamaane main aisa bhi hota tha ki gharo main log jyada pita ki baat
maante the matlab kaisa mahole hota tha matlab? (In those times, did people at home
listen to the father mostly...how was it then?)
R: Pita ki baat toh maante the lekin maa baap ka dar jyada hota tha. (They used to listen
to the father, but they were more afraid of parents.)
I: Maa baap ka dar jyada hota tha? (They were more afraid of parents?)
R: Haan. (Yes.)
I: Toh yeh ab kam kyun hua khali tv se yaa kuchh matlab aam jindagi bhi aisi hoti
jaa rahi? (Why has that reduced these days? Just because of TV,or due to other things
in daily life?)
R: Ji aisa hi hai jaise maine aapko bataya hai kit v pe jo seriel chalte hai unpe jyada karte
hai. (It is like this only, they are too much influenced by serials on the TV.)
I: Unko rees karte hai? (They copy them?)
R: Haan rees karte hai. (They copy them?)
I: Kuchh padhai se bhi fark pada hai kya ab yeh hai ki aaj kal ke bacche jyada
padhne wale hai? (Has this changed due to education too...Is there something like,
today kids tend to study more?)
R: Ab padhai ka toh aisa hai ki padhai main rees chal rahi hai nahin toh padhte bhi nahin.
(They study also because they copy each other, otherwise they wouldn’t have studied
too.)
I: Achha khud se shok logo ka nahin hai padhne ka? (People don’t like to study just
for their own good?)
R: naa gaon main toh hai nahin shehar main jyada hai. (Not in the village, it’s like that in
the cities.)
I: Yeh kyun hai matlab gaon ke school main kuchh school kaise hai gaon main?
(Why is it so? Are the schools in the villages different?)
R: Gaon main kuchh school toh aise hai ji ki kisi ne pooch liya master ko padha raha hai
padha raha hai nahin toh beth ke chale jaate hai.
I: Toh agar maan lijiye agar ladki ke liye rishta dekhenge toh kiss tareh ka ladka
parivaar kiss tareh ka ho kaisa pasand karenge aap kaisi hoti hai shaadiya kaisi hoti
hai gaon main? (If you will look for a husband for your daughter, what sort of a boy
and a family will you look for? How do marriages happen in the village?)
R: Dekho aam tor pe har ek aadmi dekhega ki parivaar chhota ho. (In general, people
look for a small family.)
I: Parivaar chhota ho yeh jaroori hota hai? (It is necessary to have a small family?)
R: Haan ji parivaar chhota apna parivaar sahi ho matlab koi eb veb na ho daaru vaaru na
peeta ho baccha sahi ho padha likha ho. (Yes, it should be a small family, they should be
no problems, no alcoholism, the guy should be nice and educated.)
I: Yeh kaise pata chalta hai ki parivaar sahi hai daaru nahin peeta? (How do you get
to know if the family is right and there is no alcoholism?)
R: Yeh toh aise hai na jaise mere rishta kar rahe hai rishta karte karte beech main
rishtedaar bhi hai or bhi jane hai voh matlab CID kar lenge unki. (When we are in the
process of making a relation, our relatives and other known people find that out.)
I: CID voh kaise karte hai matlab? (How do they do CID?)
R: Bas aise hi rishtedaaro se pooch lete hai aas pados main pooch lete hai aise kar lete
hai. (They ask other relatives or neighbours, it is like that only.)
I: Achha toh eb na ho aap bata rahe hai daaru na piye or kuchh isme matlab kya
dekhte hai ladki ladke dono main sundar ho? (You see if there are no problems, there
is no alcoholism and what else? Do you see if the girl or the boy is goodlooking or
not?)
R: Sundar bhi ho baaki apna koi maang na kare. (Yes, if it’s good if they are good
looking, but they shouldn’t ask for something.)
I: Maang na kare kis cheej ki? (They shouldn’t ask for what?)
R: Yeh dahej wagera ki. (For dowry etc.)
I: Ladke main or kuchh padha likha ka hota hai ki ladka padha likha ho ladki
padhi likhi ho? (Is there something that the boy should be educated , and the girl
should be educated?)
R: Yeh toh rehta hi hai har ek aadmi ke mann main rehta hi hai kiladki padhi likhi mill
jaye. (Everyone would like to get a girl who is educated.)
I: Nokri? (And a job?)
R: Nokri toh kahan milti hai ji ab yahan nokri ke sapne chhod do. (Who gets a job, that’s
just a dream.)
I: Milti hi nahin hai gaon main? (Nobody gets jobs in the villages?)
R: Milti bhi hai nokri wali paise walo ki gareeb ki nahin milti nokri wali jo paisa dega
usko nokri mill jayegi. (Only the rich people get a job, the poor people don’t get a job..if
you give money than you get a job.)
I: Sarkaari nokri? (Government job?)
R: Haan ji. (Yes.)
I: Or private nokri? (And private job?)
R: Private main toh jahan marji mill jata hai. (You can get private job anywhere.)
I: Koi bahut achhi private nokri is tareh ki jo padh liya ho 12th kar liya ho BA kar
liya ho is tareh ka koi avsar nahin hai? (Are there no jobs in the private sector, for
instance after someone has completed class 12 or a BA?)
R: Naa ji. (No.)
I: Phir kuchh aisa bhi humne suna hai ki kahin kahin matlab kuchh ladke
dhundhne main pareshaani hoti hai? (We have also heard that in some places it is
difficult to find boys?)
R: Ji osme pareshani aise hoti hai ji ek ladka jo milega na usme pareshani padti hai or
aisa dekhte hai ki randhibaad nahin hai. (Yes, sometimes it is difficult to find the right
guy, we have to see if the guy is not randibaad.)
I: Kya cheej? (What do you mean?)
R: Matlab jaisa milta hai vaisa hi kar dete hai usme pareshani nahin padti isme pareshani
padti hai agar achha ladka chahiye toh. (If you marry to whoever is available it is ok, but
it is difficult to find a nice guy.)
I: Ladki bhi nahin milti? (It is difficult to find a girl too?)
R: Ladki main bhi yahi hota hai dono barabar hote hai ladka bhi yahi chahega ki mujhe
ladki achhi mile. (It is similar for the girl also. A guy also would like a nice girl.)
I: Toh matlab aisa bhi ho raha hai ki ladko ki kami ho rahi hai rishta milne main
shaadi ke liye? (Is there something like, boys find it difficult to find brides?)
R: Nahin ladko ki toh kami nahin hai ladkiyo ki kami hai thodi bahut. (There is no lack of
boys, sometimes there are troubles in finding girls.)
I: Ladkiyo ki kami hai? (There is a lack of girls?)
R: Haan ladke toh bahut mill jaate hai ladkiyo ko koi chahta nahin hai na. (It is easy to
find boys, nobody likes to have girls.)
I: Toh phir yeh aapko kya lagta hai kiss vajeh se hai yeh ladkiyo ki kami yeh pehale
se hai ki abhi se? (What do you think are the reasons for a lower number of girls, was
it like this in your times?)
R: Ji yeh toh ab hone laga hai pehale toh ladkiya bahut thi. (This is recent, there were
many girls earlier.)
I: Ab kam ho gayi hai? (There are less today?)
R: Haan ji ab har ek parivaar main dekh ek aadhi milegi nahin toh hai hi nahin ladki
Kahan se ho aap. (These days, you find either one in a family, or none at all. Where are
you from?)
I: Ji dehli se. (From Delhi.)
R: Achha. (Ok.)
I: Toh yeh kaise ho gayi matlab kami? (How did the number of girls come down?)
R: Bas yeh ji ladki se jhijhkate hai log. (Because, people hesitate to have girls.)
I: Thoda ise or vistar main bataiye? (Tell us more about that?)
R: Vistar main aisa hai ji. (It is like this.)
I: Khul ke bataiye kyunki hum log toh samajhna chah rahe hai na? (Tell us frankly,
we are trying to understand this problem?)
R: Ladkiyo ke baare main toh aisa sochte hai na log ki aaj meri ladki ho gayi kal ko
mujhe iski shaadi bhi karni hai kuchh aage aisa na ho jaye kuchh kaam na ho jaye matlab
usme apni besti feel karte hai isiliye ladkiyo ko. (For girls, people think, today I have a
girl, tomorrow I will have to marry her, in between wrong things might happen, then
they might lose their honor..)
I: Pehale bhi aisa hi tha? (It was like this earlier too?)
R: Nahin pehale aisa nahin tha. (No, it wasn’t like this earlier.)
I: Pehale hoti thi ladkiya toh yeh kabse hone laga yeh? (Earlier there were more
girls, since when has this changed?)
R: Yeh toh bees-baais saal ho gaye. (For the last 20-22 years.)
I: Koi khaas kaaran hai? (Are there any special reasons?)
R: Bas khaas kaaran toh yeh hai. (This is the special reason.)
I: Lekin hazaro saalo se vansh chal raha hai isi se chal raha hai toh is tareh se kaise
hone laga bojh kaise maanne lag gaye ladki ko? (For thousands of years, humankind
has reproduced, but suddenly, why did they start to see women as a problem?)
R: Bojh toh ji 22-25 saal se lagbagh maanne lag gaye hai. (For the last 22-25 years, they
think of women as a problem.)
I: Toh aapko matlab aap gaon main itne saal rahe toh aapko kya kaaran lagta hai ki
ladkiyo ko aisa kyun maanne lag gaye? (You have been living in the village for so
many years, what do you think are the reasons for such attitudes to women?)
R: Kaaran maine aapko bataya tha. (I told you the reason.)
I: Haan ab toh yahi hai dahej ka yeh sab? (You mean its due to dowry etc.)
R: Haan yeh sab baate maan kar na log ladkiyo ki jimmedaari se pichhe hat rahe hai lekin
alag soch se soche toh ladki barabar hoti hai har kisi kea age chali jaati hai. (Yes, due to
such pressures, people don’t want to take responsibilites of girl child...but if you think
from another perspective, they are equal to men, they even go further than them.)
I: Kaise kaise kuchh udaharan? (Give us a few examples?)
R: Kuchh kaam main padhai main nokri lag jaaye toh ladki maa baap ko bhi poochhti hai
ladka nahin poochhega. (If a girl gets a good job or does well in studies, she still takes
care of parents, the boys don’t)
I: Ladka nahin poochhega ghar ke kaam main matlab kaisa rehta hai matlab ladki
hi karti hai ki ladka bhi kuchh? (The boy doesn’t ask. In household work, do the boys
help or only the girls do it?)
R: Nahin ladki hi karti hai. (Only the girl does it.)
I: Matlab gaon main is tareh ka vyavhar nahin hai? (You mean, it is not like that in
the village?)
R: Ghar ke kaam matlab ladke ko aisa de diya ki ghas katna paani pilana aisa kaam
karega ladka. (For the household work, we can ask the boy to cut grass and provide
water to animals, he does that.)
I: Baaki roti voti pakana? (Cooking and other things?)
R: Ji nahin gaon main nahin hai aisa ladka nahin pakata roti gaon main toh tadi se roti
khate hai. (No, in the village, the boy doesn’t cook, he just eats.)
I: Agar gaon main koi ladka roti banana shuru kar de toh log kya kahenge? (If in
the village, the boy starts to cook, what will the others say?)
R: Mazaak banayenge uska. (They will make fun of him.)
I: Kya bolte hai use? (What do they call him?)
R: Kehte hai roti banana wala. (They call him the cook.)
I: Roti banana main burai hi kya hai? (Is it bad to cook?)
R: Voh kehte hai tumhari maa kahan gayi tumhari behan kahan gayi. (They say, where is
your mother, where is your sister.)
I: Agar kisi ke pass behan na ho toh? (If someone doesn’t have a sister?)
R: Toh toh majburi hai varna waise nahin. (Then it’s a question of compulsion, not
otherwise.)
I: Achha toh shaadi main kharcha kiss tareh ka hota hai? (What sort of expenses are
there in marriage?)
R: Shaadi main toh kharcha hai chahe jitna marji kar lo. (You can spend endless money in
the marriage.)
I: Ji matlab itna kharch toh hona hi chahiye? (But there is some minimun amount?)
R: Apne hisaab se jitni gunjaish hogi utna kar sakte hai. (We can do, as much is needed.)
I: Ji kin kin cheejio main jyada kharcha hota hai? (Where is most money spent?)
R: Ji iska kya karte hai aap. (What would do with that?)
I: Yeh hum logo ko likhna hota hai toh bahut cheej hai aapne kuchh bola toh yaad nahin
rehta toh ek baar sun kar raat ko phir se likhte hai or phir iska koi voh nahin isko khatam
kar dete hai apni asaani ke liye hai yeh matlab kuchh aisi cheej hai jinpe kharcha hona
hi hona hai? (We have to write this because sometimes we don’t remember what you
say. We listen to the recording again at night and we write. If something is not needed,
we delete it, for our convenience. What are the most important sources of
expenditure?)
R: Shaadi main sabse pehale toh khane ka kharcha ho gaya. (In the marriage, the most
important expenditure is on food.)
I: Khane ka toh hai hi toh usme kitna ho jata hai? (Yes, that is true, how much is
spent on that?)
R: lagbhag kam se kam gareeb aadmi 50,000 toh karta hi hai. (A poor man spends atleast
50000 Rs.)
I: 50,000 toh karna hi padta hai phir? (You have to spend at least 50000?)
R: Phir apna ladki ke baare main dena hai lena hai usme kharcha kuchh mila lo matlab
normal kharcha lakh Rs toh aata hi hai. (If one has to give something for one’s daughter,
with that, its around 1 lakh.)
I: Lakh Rs aata hi hai toh ladki ki shaadi main itna hi aata hai or ladke main? (Ok,
its around 1 lakh Rs for a daughter’s marriage, what about a son’s marriage?)
R: Ladke main itna hi aata hai. (Same for the boy too.)
I: Itna hi ho jaata hai ladke main kuchh bahut jyada nahin hota? (It is similar for
the boy, nothing more?)
R: Haan jyada nahin hota baaki toh apni marji hai aone upar depend karta hai ki kitna
kharch karna hai ki nahin. (No it’s not more, rest depends on a person and how much he
wants to spend.)
I: Toh ladko ki shaadi main kin kin cheejo pe kharcha hota hai? (In a boy’s
marriage, what are the expenditures?)
R: Ladko ki shaadi main jaise jevaraat ho gaye jo ladki ko dete hai voh jevar toh voh dete
hai toh usme jyada kharcha hota hai. (In a boy’s marriage, the money is spent on
Jewellery, when we give jewellery to the girl, allot of money is spent there.)
I: Toh dono main kon se main jyada kharcha aata hai ladka main yaa ladki main?
(Whose marriage is more expensive, a girl’s or a boy’s?)
R: Aisa hai kharcha dono main barabar aata hai. (The expenses are similar for both.)
I: Bas khane main? (In food only?)
R: Haan khane main ladki ka jyada badh jata hai or ladke ka jo jevraat hai usme jyada
pad jaata hai matlab dono taraf barabar hota hai. (Yes in food, there are additional
expenses for a girl’s marriage and in a boy’s marriage, money is spent on jewellery. So,
similar kind of money is spent.)
I: Toh kuchh milta hai sarkaar ki taraf se ladki ko kuchh? (So does the girl get
something from the government?)
R: Sarkaar ki taraf se ladki ko ji 31,000Rs milte hai BPL pe. (People with BPL get 31000
in a girl’s marriage.)
I: BPL pe 31,000Rs milte hai aapki beti bhi kuchh? (In BPL people get 31000Rs,
does your daughter get something?)
R: BPL toh BPL hai voh kat gaya toh voh bhi khatam. (BPL is BPL, if its not there,
nobody gets any money.)
I: Achha jab ladki peda hui thi tab aangan wadi se koi aaya tha? (When the girl was
born, did someone come from Anganwadi?)
R: Haan voh mila tha uski hai 25,000 ki copy hai mere pass. (Yes we got 25000Rs, and I
have a receipt for that.)
I: Kya hai yeh sceme? (What is this scheme?)
R: Indira vikas yojna. (Indira Vikas Yojana.)
I: Indira vikas yojna? (Indira Vikas Yojana?)
R: Haan ji. (Yes.)
I: Isme kya kya hua tha bataiye? (What happened regarding this scheme?)
R: Isme aanganwadi walo ne naam likha tha jab peda hui thi yeh. (In this, the people form
Anganwadi wrote the name of the girl when she was born.)
I: Ghar main hi hui thi? (She was born in the house?)
R: Haan ghar main hi hui thi. (Yes, she was born in the house?)
I: Achha ghar main hi hui thi toh aangan wadi wale ek-do din baad aaye the? (Ok,
she was born in the house, did the people from Anganwadi come after one or two
days?)
R: Haan voh aaye the usi din humne naam likhva diya tha. (Yes, they came and we got
her name written down the same day.)
I: Naam likhva diya tha? (You got her name written down?)
R: Haan. (Yes.)
I: Phir? (And then?)
R: Phir aangan wadi walo ne apne matlab card diye the. (Did the Anganwadi people give
any card?)
I: Phone number?
R: Haan phone number diya tha. (Yes, they gave us a phone number.)
I: Photo voto kuchh lagai thi? (Did they paste a photo or something?)
R: Nahin photo toh nahin lagai thi kuchh nahin laga tha. (No, they didn’t paste a
photograph, they didn’t do anything like that.)
I: Or 500Rs diye the? (Did they give 500 Rs?)
R: Haan 500Rs bhi. (Yes, they gave 500 Rs.)
I: Nagad? (In Cash?)
R: Haan nagad diye the Uske baad unhone 25,000Rs ki copy di thi. (Yes, they gave us
cash for 500 Rs and gave us a receipt for 25000Rs.)
I: Or voh indira vikas patr tha?(And there was Indira Vikas Patr?)
R: Haan Voh abhi bhi humare pass hai matlab 18 saal ke baad. (Yes, we still have it, after
18 years.)
I: Toh iski kya condition hai kaise paisa milega kya shart hai? (What are the
conditions and requirements to get money?)
R: Bas yeh toh shart ka pata nahin hai jab milega tab pata chal jayega. (We don’t know
about conditions, we will get to know when we get it.)
I: Matlab nahin 18 ka?
R: Ladki 18 saal ki hogi na uske baad voh paisa milega. (When the girl is 18, we will get
money after that.)
I: Toh sirf 18 ki hoegi tab milega pehale nahin? (You will get the money after she is
18, not before?)
R: Nahin ji pehale nahin. (No, not before.)
I: Shaadi ka isse koi voh nahin hai? (There is nothing about marriage?)
R: Shaadi ka isse kuchh nahin hai matlab 18 ke baad nikalega. (It is not related to
marriage, we will get the money after she is 18.)
I: Agar 18 se pehale shaadi kar di? (If she gets married before 18?)
R: Phir bhi nahin milega. (In that case, we will not get it.)
I: Or baad main kabhi bhi karo? (After that, she can marry whenever?)
R: Haan baad main kabhi bhi karo. (Yes, after that, she can marry whenever.)
I: 19 main 20 main? (At 19 or 20.)
R: Haan 18 ke baad jab marji. (She can marry anytime after 18.)
I: Or yeh kis kis ke liye thi? (Who was the scheme for?)
R: Yeh sirf humari cast main hai? (It is only for our caste?)
I: Kon si SC? (What is your caste, SC?)
R: Haan SC. (Yes, SC.)
I: BPL ke liye bhi hai? (For BPL too?)
R: BPL ke liye bhi hai waise bhi hai sabke liye hai. (It is for those under BPL, and for
others too.)
I: Yeh rajpooto ke liye bhi hai? (It is for Rajputs too?)
R: Haan ji. (Yes.)
I: Sabhi ke liye hai? (It is for everyone?)
R: BPL or SC ke liye hai. (It is for BPL and SC.)
I: Achha ek cheej bataiye jaise aap bol rahe the ki 31,000 milega or 25,000 dono hi
milega aapko? (You were talking about 31000 and 25000, you will get both?)
R: Haan ji dono hi milenge yeh scheme kuchh or hai voh kuchh or hai. (Yes, we will get
both, these are two seperate schemes.)
I: 31,000 toh aap bata rahe the ki shaadi ke liye hai? (You were saying 31000 are for
marriage?)
R: Shaadi main voh kanyadan karne ke roop main dete hai. (They give it for Kanyadaan
in marriage?)
I: Toh iska matlab yeh sceme ka kya uddeshya hai matlab kya lagta hai ki sarkaar
kyun aisi scheme de rahi hai jo beti ke liye hai? (What do you think is the aim of such
a scheme? Why is government providing such a scheme?)
R: Beti ke liye ek toh beti ko dhutkaare na voh operation wagera kar dete hai toh voh na
ho isi ka laalach hai. (It is for the girl-child, so that she is not treated badly, and people
get operations done, that doesn’t happen.)
I: Or shaadi ka kyun rakha hai ki shaadi nahin honi chahiye 18 saaal se pehale?
(Why do they keep a condition that the marriage shouldn’t happen before 18?)
R: Pehale toh maine bola tha ki jo bacche ki umar hoti hai voh pak jaati hai 18 tak usse
pehale kacchi hoti hai. (As I was saying earlier, a kid gets mature after 18, he/she is naive
before that.)
I: Toh is scheme se matlab badlaav aaya hai kuchh logo ki soch main jinko yeh mili
hai scheme kaafi logo ko mili hai chahe toh kuchh soch main badlaav aaya hai?
(Many people got these schemes, have there been any related changes, have there been
any changes in their mentality?)
R: Badlaav toh hai hai ji. (There have been changes.)
I: Kam dhutkarne lage ladkiyo ko? (People have started to treat girls a little bit
better?)
R: Haan ji. (Yes.)
I: Toh koi fark nahin pada? (There haven’t been any changes?)
R: Fark toh hai ji lekin bahut kam hai. (There are some changes, but they are very little.)
I: Bahut kam hai ek toh purana ho gaya hai 18 saal?
R: Toh isme jaise ladke ladki peda ho rahe hai ladka nahin ho raha hai. (If someone is
having only girls and not boys...)
I: Aisa ho gaya hai? (This is happening?)
R: Aisa ho raha hai na. (It is happening.)
I: Achha. (Ok.)
R: Toh voh laalach main bas kya karega ki ladka chahiye usko peda ladki ho rahi hai.
(For their greed, they want a boy, but they are only having girls.)
I: Toh uska kuchh nahin ho raha scheme se? (That hasn’t changed as a result of the
scheme?)
R: Hai na teen ladkiyo tak hai. (It is for three girls only.)
I: Ladka chahna kam nahin ho raha is scheme se koi asar nahin ho raha? (As a
result of the scheme, people’s prefrences in favour of boys haven’t changed?)
R: Haan koi asar nahin ho raha maang toh abhi bhi voh ladka hi raha hai na. (Yes, there
are not any changes; they still want to have boys.)
I: Or 25,000 jo paisa mill raha hai usse kuchh logo ko lag raha hai jab usse kam hi
hai usse kuchh fayda nahin hai? (Do people feel that 25000 is not enough and there
are not many benefits of the scheme?)
R: Nahin fayda nuksaan nahin dekhta insaan. (A person doesn’t see profits and losses.)
I: Nahin dekhta toh phir kya dekhta hai? (If not, then what does he/she look at?)
R: Dekh toh kuchh nahin raha ab toh wahi baat hai ki bacche do ho yaa teen apna toh ek
hi chahiye ek ladka ho gaya bas wahi kaafi hai. (It is like this, if someone has 2-3 kids,
they expect to have atleast one boy.)
I: Toh is scheme se matlab kuchh mahole badla hai kuchh soch badla hai? (Has
anything changed with such a scheme?)
R: Badlaav toh hai hi hai ji badlaavo main scheme aayegi jaise 31,000Rs isme aadmi ko
sahara mill jata hai insaan yeh soch leta hai chalo government sahara de rahi hai aise
main badlaav aa jata hai lekin har insaan ki sochh apni apni hoti hai. (There are some
changes, if there is a scheme that provides 31000Rs, a person gets some support and
thinks, that the government is providing some support. But each individual has his own
way of looking at things.)
I: Yeh jaise 15-20 saal pehale ki baat kare toh gaon main ladki ko padhane ka nokri
vokri karne ka kaise kaise mokey milte the? (If we talk of 15-20 years back, what sort
of opportunities did the girls have to study and work?)
R: 15-20 saal pehale toh hai ladki ko aise padhate bahut kam the toh jab padhe nahin the
toh nokri kahan se milegi achha ab ladkiya padh bhi bahut rahi hai or padhne ke bavajood
bhi nokri nahin hai. (15-20 years ago, very few people let girls study, if they didnt study,
they couldn’t get jobs. But today, many girls study, still they don’t get jobs.)
I: Nokri tab bhi nahin thi or ab bhi nahin hai? (There were no jobs earlier, and there
are no jobs today?)
R: Haan jo nokri ahi voh paise walo ko mill jayegi gareeb aadmi ke liye nokri khatam
hai. (Yes, the available jobs are taken by rich people. There are no jobs for poor people.)
I: Toh ladkiya ab padhne lagi hai? (So, the girls have started to study these days?)
R: Haan. (Yes.)
I: Isse kuchh gharo main ladkiyo main badlaav aaya hai? (Have girls changed as a
result in some families?)
R: Gharo main kya badlaav aaya. (What have been the changes in the familes?)
I: Matlab ladki padhi likhi hai toh kuchh cheeje jyada samajh rahi hai kuchh ? (I
mean, because girls are educated, they understand certain things better?)
R: Haan voh toh hai hi hai baccha padha likha ho jaaye toh samajhdar ho jaata hai.
(That’s true, if a kid is educated, he/she becomes wise.)
I: Toh kaise kaise matlab kya kya cheej badli hai kuchh ek aad cheej bataiye? (Tell
us, what have been the changes?)
R: Badlaav kya hai ji badlaav toh aisa hi hai baccha padha likha ho gaya ladki padhi likhi
hai or voh apne bacche ko tameez degi usko padha likhaegi yeh aadmi sochta hai bas ki
aage dhakka na khaye. (What could be the changes? It is just that if the girl is educated,
she brings up her children well and educates them. We just think that she shouldn’t face
any difficulties in the future.)
I: Baaki jaise yeh hai ki aaj kal batate hai ki ladki ka jameen main bhi hissa hota
hai? (These days they say that girls have a share in the land too?)
R: Haan ji kanoon bana diya ji. (Yes, they have made a law regarding that.)
I: Achha kanoon bana diya isme kya aapki soch hai matlab yeh gaon main kya
rehta hai yeh reeti rivaaz? (What do you think about that? How does it work in the
village?)
R: Voh toh chal raha hai ji. (It is going on.)
I: Chale raha hai ladki leti hai? (It is going on, the girl has a share?)
R: Ladki leti toh nahin hai lekin mann toh hai ladki le yaa na le uska mann hai. (She
doesn’t take, but she would like to.)
I: Toh yeh sahi hai ki galat? (Is it wrong or right?)
R: Sahi bhi hai or galat bhi hai dono baate. (It is right and wrong, it is two things.)
I: Voh kaise bataiye? (How is that?)
R: Voh aise hai ki humne ladki ki shaadi kar di shaadi ke baad voh jimmedaar wahan ki
hai apne sasuraal ki jab usko wahan humne shaadi kar di sab uska vote card rashan card
sab wahin ka ho gaya baaki hai bhi thik uska hissa yahan se bhi banta or wahan se bhi
banta hai dono se ho gaya hai. (It is like this, when we have married her, she is
responsible for that house, after her marriage, she will get a voter card and a ration card
there only. Ok, she has a share here also and there also, it’s from two places.)
I: Toh yeh sahi hai? (Is this right?)
R: Haan. (Yes.)
I: Aaj kal gaon main ladkiya apna hissa maangti hai? (Do the girls ask for their
share in the village these days?)
R: Maangti hai bahut si jaise kahin baat ad jaati hai tab jaise main ho gaya behan hai meri
ek humare paas hi koi jameen daar hai agar main kahunga ki main tere baccho ko kuchh
bhi nahin dunga toh voh ad jayegi ki mera hissa doaisi baatn pe hoti hai. (Yes, they ask. If
I have a sister and I have some land, and I decide to not give her children anything. She
will come and say, give my share.)
I: Toh yeh kab se hona shuru hua hai? (When did this start?)
R: Yeh toh shuru se hua hai ji. (It has always been like this.)
I: Toh isme kam jyada kuchh nahin hua? (There haven’t been highs and lows in
that.)
R: Nahin kam jyada kuchh nahin hua. (There haven’t been any highs and lows in that.)
I: Maan lo jaise shaadi vaadi hoti hai abhi voh aapki dekh bhaal karti hai toh
shaadi ke baad bhi ladkiyo ko aise moke milte hai? (These days she takes care of you
and helps you, is she able to do that after marriage?)
R: haan. (Yes.)
I: Ladkiya aati hai ghar? (They come to their house?)
R: Haan aati hai. (Yes, they come.)
I: Toh aapke jmaane main jo bahu betiya thi or ab ke jamaane ki jo bahu betiya hai
unke rehan sehan khan paan main kuchh fark aaya hai? (Have there been any
changes in the behaviour of women in your times and today?)
R: Aisa hai ki pehale toh jaisa dete the waisa pehan lete the waisa hi kha lete the or ab toh
achha khana chahiye achha pehanna chahiye jawaani ke hisaab se badlaav aaya hai achha
khayenge achha pehanenge. (Earlier, they would eat whatever they were given and they
would wear whatever they are given. These days, they want good food and good clothes.)
I: Pehale nahin tha? (It wasn’t like this before?)
R: Pehale nahin tha pehale toh jaisa de dete the waisa pehan lete the. (It was not like this
before; they would wear whatever they were given.)
I: Toh yeh kyun hua hai kyunki cheeje badh gayi hai yaa pehale thi nahin aisi? (Has
this happened as a result of increased availability of things as compared to before?)
R: Matlab utni knowledge nahin thi logo ko or ab knowledge jyada hai bacche kehate hai
ki
humara standerd hona chahiye khane peene ka achha khayenge achha pehanenge.
(People didn’t know that much, they have more knowledge today. Children say we should
have a good standard of food and clothing.)
I: Toh yeh achhi baat lagti hai aapko? (You think that’s good?)
R: Bilkul achhi lagti hai. (Yes, that’s very good.)
I: Thik hai aapka dhanyvard bahut bahut. (That’s fine, thanks very much.)