Chapter 6: The Fourth Commandment –
Honor Your Father and Your Mother
OUR MORAL LIFE IN CHRIST
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
ANTICIPATORY SET
Discuss the opening story about Mike and his brother Jack:
❏ Is Mike right to blame himself for his brother coming home drunk?
❏ Given the response of Mike’s conscience to his brother’s behavior, what
steps should Mike take?
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
BASIC QUESTIONS
❏ What is the best place to raise children well?
❏ Who are husband and wife most obligated to love?
❏ What is the child’s obligation to his or her parents?
❏ What is the relationship between the family and good citizenship?
KEY IDEAS
❏ A person’s upbringing and moral and physical support find their ideal
setting in the family.
❏ By reason of marriage, a husband and wife must show their greatest and
most intense love for each other.
❏ As a direct consequence of their parent’s love for them, children must
honor, obey, respect, and love their mother and father as representatives of
God.
❏ A healthy family environment ultimately contributes good citizens to
society.
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
FOCUS QUESTIONS
❏ How does the family serve society?
It contributes good citizens to it.
❏ What does the following statement mean: “A person’s upbringing
and moral and physical support find their ideal setting in the family”?
It means that a person’s family—his or her father and mother and siblings—is
the best place in which to grow up well.
❏ What does it mean to say the Fourth Commandment takes “pride of
place” among the Commandments referring to the person?
The first three Commandments refer to God, while the next seven relate to
our neighbor. The First Commandment relating to our neighbor is the Fourth,
demanding we honor our father and mother, so it is first, or has “pride of
place,” among the Commandments relating to our neighbor.
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
❏ What is the hierarchy of love between husband and wife?
The first duty of love that the husband and wife have is toward each other.
The second duty of love is toward their children.
❏ What does a child owe his or her parents, and why?
Because a person’s existence, in cooperation with God’s creative power, is a
direct consequence of his or her parents’ love, children must honor, obey,
respect, and love their mother and father as representatives of God.
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
GUIDED EXERCISE
A class discussion:
❏ Given how badly some fathers and mothers have raised their children,
why cannot single persons, or other combinations of parents, like blended
families or same-sex couples, do just as well in raising children?
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
FOCUS QUESTIONS
❏ Why does each family member need a strong relationship with Jesus
Christ in order for the family to be an oasis of happiness and charity?
Because of the effects of Original Sin, we need both Christ’s example to guide
us and his grace to imitate him.
❏ What are some of the qualities of Christ that parents and children
should imitate?
His affection, kindness, and spirit of service are imitable.
❏ What is the extent of a person’s duty toward authority according to
the Fourth Commandment?
The person’s obligation to authority extends from parents to the extended
family to elders and ancestors to teachers, employers, leaders, and our civil
governors.
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
GUIDED EXERCISE
A paragraph shrink on the first paragraph of the section “The
Family as a Community of Love” (p. 166).
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
CLOSURE
Write a paragraph on the duties of parents and children that flow
from the family as a community of love.
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
❏ Study Questions 1–3 (p. 176)
❏ Practical Exercises 1–2 (p. 177)
❏ Workbook Questions 1–3
❏ Read “Observance in the Old Testament” through “Duties of
Parents to Their Children” (pp. 167–169)
1. The Family as a Community of Love (pp. 164–166)
ALTERNATIVE ASSESSMENT
With a partner to come up with one example of how a child can
show each of the following qualities to his or her parents: honor,
obedience, respect, and love.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
ANTICIPATORY SET
Work with a partner to compare the two versions of the Fourth
Commandment in Exodus and Deuteronomy.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
BASIC QUESTIONS
❏ What does the Fourth Commandment promise children who
honor their parents?
❏ Why are children forever in their parents’ debt?
❏ How should one’s children be treated?
KEY IDEAS
❏ The Fourth Commandment promises blessings on children
who honor their parents throughout their entire lives.
❏ No matter how grateful, children can never repay their parents
for the gift of life and upbringing.
❏ Each child is a child of God redeemed by Jesus Christ and
must be treated by parents as such.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
GUIDED EXERCISE
A think / pair / share on the following question:
❏ How is one who “forsakes” his father like a blasphemer?
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
FOCUS QUESTIONS
❏ How is the Fourth Commandment a two-way street between children and
parents?
Parents have a duty of care toward their children, and children have a duty of
obedience toward their parents.
❏ What are the three principal aspects of Christian parenting?
They are fairness / understanding, discipline, and instruction in the Faith.
❏ What is the message of the phrase, “Do not provoke your children to
anger”?
Parents must try to earn and maintain the respect of their children.
❏ What does God promise those who obey the Fourth Commandment?
He promises many blessings.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
❏ What is the idea behind children truly loving their parents?
It is gratitude: children can never repay their parents for the gift of life and
for their upbringing.
❏ According to Sirach, what is the origin of the hierarchy within the
family, in which children are “below” their parents?
God is its origin. “The Lord honored the father above the children, and he
confirmed the right of the mother over her sons.”
❏ What is the relationship between good discipline and love?
Parents who love their children discipline them.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
❏ What can parents instill in their children through discipline?
Good use of freedom, self-control, and a sense of responsibility can
be instilled.
❏ How does discipline look to the person who successfully
receives it?
It is recognized as a good thing because it makes one righteous.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
GUIDED EXERCISE
A class discussion on the biblical proverb, “Spare the rod and spoil the
child” (cf. Prv 13:24).
❏ Is this true, in your experience?
GUIDED EXERCISE
Perform a focused reading on the paragraph beginning, “There is a special
urgency...” (p. 168), using the following question:
❏ What is the problem with parents who just want to be “friends” with
their children?
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
FOCUS QUESTIONS
❏ What vices can result from lack of parental discipline?
Insensitivity to the needs of others, habitual laziness and idleness, and an
inability to fulfill reasonable tasks can result.
❏ Why do parents not have absolute authority over their children?
Although children are entrusted to the care of their parents, they belong to
God and deserve to be treated as his children.
❏ What is the limit to parents’ authority over their children regarding
living the Faith?
Parents may not force a particular vocation on their children, for example,
over whether to become a priest or to marry.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167– \169)
GUIDED EXERCISE
Work with a partner to create a list of ways parents should teach
their children to live the Faith.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
CLOSURE
Write a paragraph summarizing the responsibilities parents have in
teaching their children the Catholic Faith.
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
❏ Study Questions 4–9 (p. 176)
❏ Practical Exercises 4, 6 (p. 177)
❏ Workbook Questions 4–8
❏ Read “Duties of Children to Their Parents” through “The
Importance of Spousal Unity” (pp. 170–171)
2. Parental Duties (pp. 167–169)
ALTERNATIVE ASSESSMENT
Based on what was presented in this chapter, formulate advice you
could give to new parents on how they should discipline their children
when they become teenagers.
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
ANTICIPATORY SET
Brainstorm examples of poor parents from literature you have read
(e.g., The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn).
Discuss what was wrong with them as parents.
To what extent do you think the bad parents are owed honor by their
children?
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
BASIC QUESTIONS
❏ Why are children to obey their parents?
❏ What is the importance of the good example of parents?
❏ What is the demand of charity toward members of the extended family?
❏ How does marital fidelity affect children’s respect for authority?
KEY IDEAS
❏ According to the Fourth Commandment, children are obligated to obey
their parents, regardless of whether their father and mother are good role
models.
❏ Parents effectively direct and guide their children not only by verbal
command, but also by their good example.
❏ Families also have the duty to love members of the extended family.
❏ Marital fidelity cultivates and facilitates in one’s children respect and
obedience toward God, the parents, and all other authority.
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
FOCUS QUESTIONS
❏ What is filial piety?
It is respect for one’s parents.
❏ Where does respect for parents originate?
It comes from the gratitude of a child for all his or her parents have
given him or her.
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
FOCUS QUESTIONS
❏ Why should students obey their teachers?
The students’ parents have entrusted their children to the teachers; therefore,
teachers share in the parents’ authority.
❏ When does a child not have to obey a parent?
When a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a
particular instruction or command, the child should not obey.
❏ Why should children obey a parent who has character flaws?
The authority of a parent comes from God, not from the parent’s degree of moral
perfection.
❏ How should children treat their parents, even if they grow old and senile?
Children should help their parents and never cause them grief or despise them.
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
GUIDED EXERCISE
Work in assigned groups of three or four to discuss the following
questions:
❏ Why should we make an effort to keep in touch with extended family
members who live far away?
❏ What are some ways we can do this?
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
CLOSURE
Write a paragraph arguing that good parental example promotes but
is not necessary for children’s obedience.
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
❏ Study Questions 10–13 (p. 176)
❏ Practical Exercises 3, 5 (p. 177)
❏ Workbook Questions 9–12
❏ Read “Civic Obligations of Citizens” through “Conclusion” (pp.
171–173)
3. Filial Duties and Spousal Unity (pp. 170–171)
ALTERNATIVE ASSESSMENT
Work in assigned groups of three or four to complete Practical Exercise
5 on ten rules for every family.
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
ANTICIPATORY SET
Opening prayer on Matthew 22:15–22 (duties to God and Caesar).
Discuss the point of Christ’s teaching.
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
BASIC QUESTIONS
❏ Why should we obey authority?
❏ What is the relationship between the fundamental rights of the person and
public authority?
❏ What is the principle of subsidiarity?
KEY IDEAS
❏ It is the will of God that Christians obey those in rightful authority, their
representatives, and the laws of the state.
❏ Public authority is obliged to respect the fundamental rights of the human
person, as well as to guarantee the conditions that make the exercise of these
rights possible.
❏ Subsidiarity is the principle that should guide relations in society. A lower
authority must not be interfered with by a higher authority without necessity.
When a higher authority does intervene, it should be for the legitimate
common good.
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
FOCUS QUESTIONS
❏ What is the purpose of authority?
Authority exists to serve the individual and the common good.
❏ Why is it legitimate for authority to possess power?
Authority has power so that it can serve the individual and the common good.
❏ What does it mean to say that public authority is obliged to respect
the fundamental rights of the human person as well as to guarantee the
conditions that make the exercise of these rights possible?
It means that public authority must protect human rights.
Extension: For example, one of the fundamental rights of the person is the
right to life. A public authority should not pass laws that take the life of an
innocent person, nor permit others to threaten the lives of innocent persons.
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
FOCUS QUESTION
❏ What is the principle of subsidiarity?
The principle of subsidiarity maintains that a higher authority must
not interfere with a lower authority without necessity.
Extension: A higher authority “should support [the lower authority]
in case of need and help to co-ordinate its activity with the activities
of the rest of society, always with a view to the common good”
(CCC 1883).
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
GUIDED EXERCISE
To help the students see the principles governing the individual’s relationship to civil
authority, have them list St. Paul’s guidelines (171-172).
GUIDED EXERCISE
The text (p. 171) states the following:
The social character of every human being requires that there be an established
authority to facilitate harmonious relationships among members of society as well
as to protect their rights as citizens.
Discuss (1) what this statement means and (2) how it is true.
GUIDED EXERCISE
Perform a paragraph shrink on the paragraph beginning, “The fundamental reality...”
(p. 173).
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
CLOSURE
Write a paragraph summarizing the government’s obligation to its
citizens.
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
❏ Study Questions 14–17 (p. 176)
❏ Workbook Questions 13–17
4. Citizens and Government (pp. 171–173)
ALTERNATIVE ASSESSMENT
Write a paragraph on how Luke 12:42–48 and Romans 13:1–5 reveal
the respective duties of individuals to public authority and public
authority to individuals.
The End