SEVEN KEYS
TO THE
HEALING PROCESS
Presented
By
Martin E. Mallory
The First Issue of the Asbury Seminarian
1946
“The currents of modern philosophical thought are
largely materialistic. The currents of modern
theological thought are in large measure humanistic.
Over against these trends, the Asbury Seminarian
will stand uncompromisingly for
supernaturalism….The de-super naturalizing of
Christianity, in an attempt to bring it into accord
with the prevailing world view, is a devastating
blow of the first magnitude to New Testament
Christianity” - J.C. McPheeters.
The First Issue of the Asbury Seminarian
1946
“Modern theological education has allied itself with
pagan culture, this alliance centering in the thorough
application…of the dogma of continuity (of the
church and the world). In doing so, theology has
forfeited her throne and her crown. In seeking to
render secular culture sacred by simple contact, she
has herself fallen victim to secularity. The method
and content of theological education must contribute
to the prosecution of the church's one task, the
proclamation of the message of personal redemption
through the self-giving of Christ on the cross.” Dr. Harold Kuhn.
SEVEN KEYS
TO THE
HEALING PROCESS
Presented
By
Martin E. Mallory
Some Basic Assumptions
 There are some basic keys to healing that
are universal and necessary.
 These are like ingredients in a recipe. Miss
one and the outcome will be noticeable.
 In the midst of many new ideas of
counseling interventions, it is important to
keep in mind the basics.
The Foundation
 It is important to reflect on the nature
of God and His relationship to the
truth.
 He is Truth itself
 Jesus answered, “I am the way and
the truth and the life. No one comes
to the Father except through me.
(John 14:6)
The Foundation
 He has revealed in scripture
essential and universal truths of
how people can grow, change, and
heal.
 These truths are elements that are
essential to emotional and spiritual
resolutions.
The Foundation
 Just as the physical laws (gravity and
magnetism) do not change, neither do these.
 Incorporating these elements into work with
others helps them grow into the
workmanship intended for them
 For we are God’s workmanship, created
in Christ Jesus to do good works, which
God prepared in advance for us to do.
(Eph. 2:10)
Key Number One
GOD
 He is the Source of all growth.
 His nature is Healer
 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their
wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
 He provides all that is needed to work through
problems.
 He is the “Master of the Means” using direct
intervention, others, scripture, circumstances, etc.
Key Number One
GOD
 We look to God for the help, wisdom,
and needed resources, humbly asking
for the things we do not possess.
 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should
ask God, who gives generously to all
without finding fault, and it will be
given to him. James 1:5.
Key Number One
GOD
 For the helper:
 We point those we are helping to the
Source.
 God helps the “helpee” and He helps
the helper help the “helpee”.
 He will always find a way.
Key Number Two
RELATIONSHIP
 All woundedness happens in the context of
relationship. All healing happens in the
context of relationship.
 Safe people (those who are on our side and
have love and truth to offer us) are part of
God’s delivery system of healing.
 Research on attachment and relationship
support this biblical concept.
“To love at all is to
be vulnerable. Love
anything and your
heart will be rung and
possibly be broken.
If you want to make
sure of keeping it
intact, you must give
it to no one, not even
to an animal...”
--C.S.Lewis
Key Number Two
RELATIONSHIP
 When Paul experienced depression, God did
not send an angel or a burning bush. He sent
a person (Titus).

For when we came into Macedonia, this body of
ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every
turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within. But
God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us
by the coming of Titus (2 Corinthians 7:6)
 Importance of community - Body of Christ.
Key Number Three
 TRUTH
“The truth will set you
free--but first it will
make you miserable.”
--Jamie Buckingham
Key Number Three
TRUTH
 Defined as what is or what exists in reality.
 More than abstract. It is personal. Jesus
said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life”.
 Relationship with Jesus means living in and
with Truth daily, experientially, and clearly.
 Truth of what caused a person’s struggle.
Key Number Three
TRUTH
 Truths of biblical principles.
 Truth that comes from wise, experienced
people.
 Truths that provide direction and correction
to resolve the healing process

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you
teach me wisdom in the inmost place. (Psalm
51:6)
Key Number Three
TRUTH
 Those things we believe are true impact
everything about how we:
1. Think
2. Act
3. Feel
Guiding Fictions
Our Basic Psychological Needs
 Security
The need to be
loved and accepted unconditionally (Love)
 Significance
The need to be
important, adequate, to have
purpose and
meaning in my
life (Purpose)
A “Guiding Fiction” is….
a wrong assumption about how to
get our basic psychological
needs met, an untrue belief
which determines much of our
behavior and feelings.
They are lies(fictions) yet they determine
(guide) our behaviors and feelings
Some Common “Guiding
Fictions”
 I am significant when I am financially
successful.
 I am secure when everyone approves of me
and no one is criticizing me.
 I am significant when I am attractive.
 I am significant when I am doing my job
successfully.
 I am secure when my children are well
behaved.
Some Common “Guiding
Fictions”
 If I am to be significant, I cannot fail.
 If I am to be significant, other people must
notice me and recognize my abilities.
 I am secure when I am happily married.
 I am significant when I am youthful and
vigorous.
 I am secure when I have everything under
control.
 I am significant when I am performing perfectly.
How to be Set Free from Your
“Guiding Fictions”
1. Ask God to show you exactly what your Guiding
Fictions are.
What do you get (a) depressed or guilty about? (b)
angry about? (c) anxious about?
2. Take responsibility for the GF’s in your life.
3. Ask God to forgive you and set you free.
4. Renounce your GF’s
5. Daily look to the Lord to meet your needs for
security and significance.
“You were taught with regard to
your former way of life to put off
your old self, which is being
corrupted by its deceitful desires,
to be made new in the attitude of
your minds, and to put on the new
self, created to be like God in true
righteousness and holiness.”
--Ephesians 4:22-23
Truth that Never Changes
Carol Stratton
Sometimes Your Truth comes like a whisper,
Speaks reassurance soft to my soul.
Sometimes Your Truth echoes like thunder
Flashes like lightening so everyone knows.
But sometimes Your Truth cuts like a knife
And I must embrace it if I would have change
in my life.
Lord, Your Truth so faithfully
Slices through the dark in me.
And like a beacon in the night
You beckon me with loving light.
And Your Truth that never changes
Changes me.
Sometimes my heart moves with Your Spirit
Tenderly yearning to follow Your lead
Sometimes my heart stubbornly protests
Anchors unyielding, ignoring my need
But in comes Your Truth, calling my name
And then I must choose if I will build walls
Or be changed.
Lord, Your Truth so faithfully
Slices through the dark in me.
And like a beacon in the night
You beckon me with loving light
And Your Truth that never changes
Changes me.
Yes, Your Truth that never changes
Changes me.
©2000 A Stratton Carol
Key Number Four
PATH
Key Number Four
PATH
 We use “treatment plans”, scripture
simply uses the word “path”.
 “The path of life leads upward for the
wise, to keep him from going down to
the grave” (Proverbs 15:24)
 The healing process requires steps to
follow which bring wholeness.
 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a
light for my path.
Ps 119:105
 There are those who rebel against the
light, who do not know its ways or stay
in its paths.
Job 24:13
Key Number Four
PATH
 This means there should be some
structure – a map of sorts…
 Directed movement helps define a clear
goal and decreases the confusion that
can paralyze healing.
Elements of a Balanced Life
1. Physical
 Healthy diet.
 Regular exercise.
 Good sleep patterns.
 Avoidance of harmful substances.
2. Family Life
 Emotionally fulfilling relationships.
 Honesty and vulnerability.
 Quality time spent with spouse.
 Quality time spent with children.
 Appropriate relationships with
extended family.
 Healthy boundaries.
3. Social
 Enjoyable activities with friends.
 Emotional sharing with friends.
 Involvement in group activities.
 Good balance of various levels of
friendships.
 Some friends who know you intimately
and love you anyway!
4. Spiritual
 Cultivating a meaningful relationship
with God.
 Experiencing a sense of purpose for
your life.
 Connection and involvement in the
Body of Christ.
5. Intellectual - Mental
 Learning something new.
 Cultivating your interests.
 Staying curious.
 Keeping the mind sharp.
7. Occupational
 Work life that is meaningful and
fulfilling.
 Supportive work relationships.
 Possibilities for advancement in skills
and/or position.
 Satisfaction.
 Adequate compensation.
8. Recreational
 Enjoyable activities that you prioritize
in your life’s schedule.
 Maintaining good “self care” habits.
 Balance of solitary activities and
activities with others.
9. Emotional
 Ability to identify feelings.
 Broad “emotional vocabulary”.
 Appropriate expression of emotions.
 Attending to unfinished emotional
business.
10. Identity
 Strong sense of who you are as
identified by interests, activities, belief
system, etc…
 Honest evaluation of the history that
has shaped you.
 Cultivation of your identity through
self-care and congruent life goals,
experiences, etc.
“The
difference
between a
dream and
a goal is a
plan.”
Key Number Five
OWNERSHIP
 God designed healing as a division of
labor. He does His work, the helper
does their work, and the “helpee” does
their work.
Key Number Five
OWNERSHIP
 The clearer the helpee is on their
responsibilities, and the more willing to
bear them, the better the prognosis is for
healing. (extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivators)
 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for
righteousness, for they will be filled (Matt
5:6)
Key Number Five
OWNERSHIP
 Must steer clear of blaming, denial,
and avoidance.
Key Number Five
OWNERSHIP
 Must admit that, though some part of their
suffering is not their fault, the problem is
still their problem.
 While the problem source may be multifactorial, the resolution must be owned
fully by the client.
Key Number Six
 FORGIVENESS
“Everyone says
forgiveness is a lovely
idea, until they have
someone to forgive.”
- C.S. Lewis
A lesson on forgiveness from a Pagan!
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to
do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it
is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at
peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my
friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it
b
is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”
says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your
enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty,
give him something to drink. In doing this,
you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do
not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil
with good.
(Romans 12:17-21)
Key Number Six
FORGIVENESS
 This is non-negotiable if one is to heal fully
from their past.
 Others hurt us. In contrast to blaming and
denial, God has given us the forgiveness
path to heal, both personally and
relationally.
 To forgive is to cancel a debt.
Key Number Six
FORGIVENESS
 “Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God
forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Key Number Six
FORGIVENESS
 Does not mean forgetting.
 Does not mean we should stop confronting
evil.
 Means we have given up the wish to extract
revenge on someone who has hurt us. We
have let them go.
Key Number Six
FORGIVENESS
 Has two facets
Letting go; canceling the debt of another.
 Being set free from our own debts to
others including God.

 Individual can be free from the bonds
of yesterday in order to have a full and
meaningful life with God today.
The offense of another produces hurt to the
offended. Simultaneously, guilt is laid by
God upon the offender’s conscience, but the
offended also lays guilt on the offender.
The offended person is emotionally
and spiritually BOUND to the offender by
unforgiveness. Such a grudge sustains the
hurt the offended person. feels
This bondage can never be broken (no matter how
much distance is put between them) except by
forgiveness. The offender should ask to be forgiven,
but he may never do so. Consequently, the offended
must initiate forgiveness.
The offender’s guilt
can only be removed by
the offended, who TAKES
THE HURT UPON
HIMSELF (whether it is requested or not) and
gives up the right to blame the other person
for what he/she is. This is forgiveness.
The offended person then gives the offense,
the hurt, the grudge and the offender - to
God. Vengeance is left to God.
What Forgiveness is Not
Adapted from R.D. Enright, in N. Denison, To Live and Forget, On Wisconsin (Nov.-Dec. 1992)
 Forgetting: deep hurts can rarely be
wiped out of one’s awareness.
 Reconciliation: reconciling requires
two people; an injured party can
forgive without reconciling.
Forgiveness is Not, cont.
 Condoning: forgiveness does not
necessarily excuse bad or hurtful
behavior.
 Dismissing: forgiveness involves
taking the offense seriously, not
passing it off as inconsequential or
insignificant.
Forgiveness is Not, cont.
 Reinstatement of Trust: forgiveness
never disregards the hurts or the
potential for future hurts; it can occur
while maintaining appropriate
boundaries.
II Timothy 4:14,15
“Alexander the coppersmith has done
me much harm, but the Lord will
judge him for what he has done. Be
careful of him . . .”
Forgiveness is . . .
 a commitment to act humbly when I feel
justified in my right to exact retribution.
 a choice to extend mercy out of gratitude
for the mercy that has been shown to me.
 a willingness to love when I feel no love at
all and everyone around agrees that I’m
entitled to my resentment.
Martin Luther King (1929-1968)
“Forgiveness is not just an
occasional act, it is a
permanent attitude.”
Matthew 18:21-35. - The Parable of
the Unmerciful Servant
Jesus suggests that forgiveness
is what forgiven people do!
Forgiveness
Carol Stratton
My anger is too hot.
The damage is too deep.
There is no food for thought.
There is no rest in sleep.
You call me to forgive.
My heart will not be moved.
This is no place to live,
But change is hard to choose.
You whisper, “Forgiveness isn’t
forgetting.”
“It’s not condoning, and it’s not
defending.”
When I remember my pain,
Then remember the pain I caused You,
And how I needed forgiveness,
I can forgive, too.
This heart becomes a stone,
At the mention of that name.
The villain stands alone,
The author of my pain.
You call me to accept,
He’s a person, she’s a person with a
need.
And I must give to them,
The gift you’ve given me.
You whisper, “Forgiveness isn’t
forgetting.”
“It’s not condoning, and it’s not
defending.”
When I remember my pain,
Then remember the pain I caused You,
And how I needed forgiveness,
I can forgive , too.
You looked with loving eyes
From Calvary’s cross,
And you said those words
I need to say.
I am reminded of the ultimate cost
You chose to pay
To point the way.
You whisper, “Forgiveness isn’t forgetting.”
“It’s not condoning, and it’s not defending.”
When I remember my pain,
Then remember the pain I caused You,
And how I needed forgiveness,
And your gift of forgiveness for all my sin,
There is life in forgiveness,
So, I can forgive , too.
© 2004, A Stratton Carol
Key Number Seven
TIME
 Most healing is not immediate or instant.
 “Process Healing” versus “Event Healing.
 A hard lesson from a Messianic rabbi.
Key Number Seven
TIME
 Time sequences events and experiences of
growth into a generally orderly fashion.
 These elements are added to the person’s
life so that he or she can experience,
internalize and be transformed by them, and
practice the truths being learned.
“Discipleship is
doing today what we
can do so that
tomorrow we can do
what we can’t do
today.”
John Ortberg
Key Number Seven
TIME
 Just as Jesus taught that spiritual growth
resembles plant life (Mark 4:26-29), there
are seasons and stages of personal growth
that cannot be skipped or minimized.
He also said, “This is what the
kingdom of God is like. A man scatters
seed on the ground. Night and day,
whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed
sprouts and grows, though he does not
know how. All by itself the soil
produces grain—first the stalk, then the
head, then the full kernel in the head.
As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the
sickle to it, because the harvest has
come.”
Key Number Seven
TIME
 Must seek the activities necessary to bring
the process into the next phase.
 Remember God is at work throughout, even
if not always obviously.
“What can I do today to make it
less likely that I will do this
again tomorrow??” (stopping
something)
“What can I do today to make it
more likely that I could do this
tomorrow??” (starting
something)
Summary
1.God
2.Relationship
3.Truth
4.Path
5.Ownership
6.Forgiveness
7.Time
Reminders of the foundation for
all we do as Christians:
 All we do as those who name the name of
Christ is to be both incarnational and
redemptive.
 Our words communicate His truth.
 Our person is to reflect His person.
 Our lives are to be a living, breathing
explanation of His character
“Those who sit with us
hour after hour in the
privacy of our offices
should leave with a
better understanding of
who God is because we
have, through our
obedience to Him and
love for Him, touched
them with the flavor of
His presence.”
Daine Langberg.
For to us a child is born, to us a son
is given, and the government will be
on his shoulders. And he will be
called Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God, Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6