Discipleship Begins at Home
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
When children arrive life really changes. Have you ever thought about the changes that come
with each child you add to your family?
A mother’s wardrobe
• 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your
pregnancy.
• 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
• 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
A mom preparing for the Birth
• 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
• 2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t
help.
• 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Baby’s Clothing
• 1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in
the baby’s little bureau.
• 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the
darkest stains.
• 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
Pacifier
• 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can sterilize it.
• 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s
bottle.
• 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering
• 1st baby: You change your baby’s diaper every hour, whether needed or not.
• 2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
• 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you
see it sagging to their knees.
Going Out
• 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
• 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave your number in case you
need to be reached.
• 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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Time At Home
• 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
• 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing,
poking, or hitting the baby.
• 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
And then…Your children get smart like these children. For example:
• Patrick, age 10, said, “Never trust a dog to watch your food.”
• Michael, 14, said, “When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer him.”
• Michael, wise man that he was, also said, “Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.”
• Randy, 9 years of age said, “Stay away from prunes.” One wonders how he discovered that bit
of wisdom.
• Samantha, age 9, said, “Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.”
• Naomi, 15, said, “If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.”
• Lauren, age 9, said, “Sharpie markers are not good to use as lipstick.”
• Joel, 10 years old, said, “Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.”
• Eileen, age 8, said, “Never try to baptize a cat.”
Children go all too quickly from being cute little babies, to “wise” young children, to teenagers
who are all too eager to test the boundaries and explore the waters of independence.
George Barna in his research on the American home discovered that the number one fear of
parents is the fear of raising children. Josh McDowell, Christian author, wrote a book a few years
back called Right from Wrong, and after reading it you can see why parents are fearful. We are
seeing more and more children reject the Christian faith as they get older. McDowell gives the
following statistics that legitimizes a parent’s fear:
• Teen pregnancy has increased over 500% in the past thirty years
• Suicide among young people has jumped 300% in that same period
• Over a thousand teen girls get abortions every day in this country
• Over 4,000 kids a day catch a sexually transmitted disease
Parents fear that the culture is going to capture and corrupt their children. Parents worry that
their kids will soon be making choices, and living lives, and suffering the consequences of a
value system they’ve picked up from their school, their friends, social media, and the
entertainment world that rejects the truth of the Bible and mocks Biblical morality.
The great challenge parents face today is: how do we pass on our Christian values to our children
and instill biblical truth and morality within them?
The answer is in the word of God, in the model He gave to Israel for teaching truth and instilling
godly values to children. Look with me at Deuteronomy 6:4-9, “…..”
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God was asking parents to put Him 1st in every area of their lives. This is the starting point—the
foundation. This unwavering, uncompromising commitment to God by parents would give their
families advantages no other nation experienced. And that promise is true for us today. By
contrast, if parents don’t love God wholeheartedly, and follow Christ passionately—it’s possible
to set your family up for failure.
I can’t think of a passage of Scripture that is more timely and more challenging than this passage.
We live in a day where our culture has experienced a seismic shift and this is nowhere more
evident than in the home. Social scientists who study the family are telling us that the Millennial
Generation—those born between 1980 and 2000—are abandoning, not just the church but also
their faith in record numbers. Numbers and statistics are one thing, but if you have a son or
daughter or grandson or granddaughter who has walked away from their faith, we’re not talking
about numbers—those numbers have names that you grieve over. It’s personal.
There are a number of factors that have played in to this, but I want to address just one of those
factors that our passage today addresses. This passage was not addressed to the church of that
day, but to the parents. I think to one degree or another churches have tried to assume a role that
only parents can adequately assume. In today’s world, where our children are exposed to more
and more things that are hostile to Christianity, the church cannot be the primary means of
raising your children to be lovers of God and followers of Christ. We have your children for an
hour or two each week, yet they are exposed many hours each week to influences that undermine
their faith. Parents will need to adopt this ancient but still effective method of influencing their
children to be lovers of God and followers of Christ, and the church’s role is to come along side
of parents to equip them to do that.
This passage gives us a God-ordained model for passing on our faith and values to our children,
a model that involves three steps.
Step #1 - Build a Relationship
Passing our values on to our children requires an authentic relationship with them. God’s model
for teaching Biblical truth to our children calls for a highly relational method. Look at verse 7,
“Repeat them [God’s commands] again and again to your children. Talk about them when you
are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting
up.” His words beg the question, “how can we expect to teach these things to our sons and
daughters when we don’t spend enough time with them,”—if we’re rarely at home, if we’re
“there” but not really “there”, if our kids are in bed by the time we get home and still asleep
when we leave for work? We cannot impart truth apart from meaningful relationships. In other
words, God wants us to teach His truths in every relational interaction with our children -- even
the most mundane. It’s not about quality time. It’s about quantity time! And remember, rules
without a relationship are counterproductive.
So, the first step in passing our faith to our children is: build a relationship with them.
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Step #2 - Be an Example
Passing biblical values on to our children requires an example. What you say must be backed up
by what you do. Look at verses 5 and 6, “And you [parents] must love the LORD your God with
all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you [parents] must commit yourselves
wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.” Whether you know it or not,
you’re being watched. And the things you model powerfully communicate your convictions
about right and wrong, about morality and immorality. Your example provides daily evidence if
you love God and follow Christ.
If we want to pass on biblical values to our children, we must model those values in our own
lives. His words must be on our hearts before we can influence their hearts. If we wish for our
sons and daughters to accept the idea that there are absolute standards of right and wrong, we
must let them see that we believe it ourselves. If I want my kids to flee sexual immorality, I
ought to be sure my television viewing reflects that value. If I want my kids to be kind to other
people, I must be kind to other people. Do you want your sons to treat their wives with love and
respect, then treat your wife with love and respect. Do you want your daughters to love their
husbands? Then moms, model this for your daughters.
I am not saying that we must live perfect lives before our children -- merely consistent lives,
lives that day-in and day-out model a deep love for God and an uncompromising commitment to
obey Him.
I ran across this article that pointedly addresses the importance of modelling. “The Top 10 Ways
to Turn Off Your Kids to Church.” I’m grateful we don’t experience this type of thinking in our
congregation... but it’s always wise to examine ourselves anyway to make sure these are not true
of us:
10. Schedule personal or family events to conflict with church services and activities.
9. Don’t get too close to anyone in church. Refrain from developing relationships with Christians
lest your children learn the joy and benefits of fellowship with other believers.
8. Look often at your watch during worship and complain bitterly, look annoyed, or freak out
when church lasts longer than you think it should.
7. Financially support your church with the same enthusiasm you pay taxes.
6. Do the best you can to make sure the kids arrive on time to soccer lessons and school events,
but don’t worry if they miss or are late to church.
5. Bring your family to church only when a) you have nothing better to do; b) you have a
personal need; c) you feel really guilty; d) you aren’t too tired.
4. Don’t volunteer for anything or make any kind of long term commitment at church.
Remember, you’ve got to keep your options open to do things that are more important.
3. Change churches every few years.
2. Remind your kids how imperfect your church leaders are and regularly point out their
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mistakes.
1. And whatever you do, don’t let church influence the way you live your life.
Step #3 - Share the Truth
Passing our values on to our children includes formal, intentional instruction. Instilling biblical
values requires a commitment to teach our children consistently, repeatedly, at every
opportunity, that there is a standard of right and wrong that transcends human ideas and
opinions. Look at verse 7 one more time. "Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk
about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and
when you are getting up."
Granted, this is harder to do in today’s world. Several generations ago, fathers and sons spent
long hours plowing together and harvesting together; mothers and daughters (and grandmothers,
too) spent long hours canning and cooking together. Those long hours of being side by side
presented opportunities to talk and to teach.
In our day and age, those opportunities no longer come easily.
• There’s baseball practice
• art class
• soccer games
• music lessons
• cheerleading tryouts
• all kinds of things that intervene and interfere and intrude in our daily lives.
So teaching our kids often becomes the last thing on our calendar. But that doesn’t mean we’ve
lost the battle. It simply means we have to seize every opportunity to teach Biblical truths and
godly values to our kids. We have to be much more intentional. It also means we have to spend
time in God’s Word ourselves.
Goshen, BMMC – 1/10/2016
V. 1 - Z
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