The Worst Interview I've Ever Had
THURSDAY, MAY 3, 2012
Taken from: http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/2012/05/the-worst-interview-ive-ever-had.html
The other night, the Hubs and I watched that new show "Girls" on HBO. Hubs isn't sure what he thought of it, but I could
relate to it. There was one part where the main character is sitting in a job interview and the interview is going
great. She's impressing her future boss, he's enjoying her sense of humor and he's this close to hiring her and then she
blows it by saying something completely weird and inappropriate.
The Hubs said, "Oh I don't believe that. No one would say something so stupid in an interview."
"Uhhh...." I said.
"What? You've said something that stupid? In an interview??" the Hubs asked.
Yes. Yes I did. Many, many years ago when I was probably 24 or so - just about the same age as the girl in the show, I
was being interviewed by a very high profile, big wig type of guy we'll call Mr. Big Shot. (Really he should be called my
Daddy is Mr. Big Shot and I'm a Big Shot by Birth, but that's a really long name.) We were in a conference room on the
top floor of a fabulous building in midtown Manhattan sipping soft drinks in crystal glasses and laughing like old
friends. My interview was going swimmingly. He really liked me. He thought I would be perfect for the job.
Suddenly, Mr. Big Shot realized he had a question the Human Resources manager had asked him to ask all of the
candidates. He said, "It's silly really. I don't know why they're making me ask this. Some sort of way to profile people or
something. Just a formality."
"Sure. No problem. I'm happy to answer it," I said, eager to please and get started at my new, fancy job.
"OK. If you were an animal what animal would you be and why?"
"If I was an animal? Do you mean, do I like animals?" I asked.
Now the Human Resources representative who was sitting on the other side of the table taking notes spoke up. "No. We
want to know what animal you think best describes your personality and why."
WTF? I was ready for questions like: Tell us your greatest weakness… (If anything, I work too hard and sometimes make
my colleagues jealous) or How are you at working under pressure? (I thrive under pressure. I do some of my best work
under pressure). I was not prepared for this random animal question.
By this time I'd taken too long to answer and I could tell I was losing my shine. So I blurted out the first thing that came in
my mind: "I'm a koala bear."
"Interesting. Go on," said the HR person. "Why?" Aha! She liked it!
"I'm a koala bear, because I look little and fuzzy and sometimes a little sleepy even, but if you get too close and irritate
me, I can get feisty and I have pretty big claws that will get you." And then I growled. "Rarrrrr."
At that point, the HR rep wrote something on her paper that looked like a
giant X and Mr. Big Shot went dead in the eyes.
I'd lost him. I had to get him back. I scrambled and said to him, "Oh! And
koalas are cute - just like me. You think I'm cute, right? Or at least you did
just a few minutes ago." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
And then, just in case I wasn't sure I'd completely lost the job yet, I sealed
the deal by WINKING at the man.
Yup. I winked at Mr. Big Shot. WTF??!!!
I don't remember how the interview ended, but I know it didn't last much
longer and I'm pretty sure security might have escorted me from the
building.