RUNNING HEAD: THE TIMING OF DIVORCE
The Timing of Divorce
Gregory Swanson
Westmont College
Author Note
Gregory Swanson, Liberal Studies, Westmont College
No Change of Affiliation
I would like to thank Dr. Gurney for the opportunity to explore the topic of
divorce’s effects on children through perspective of research and psychology.
Correspondence for this article should be addressed to Greg Swanson, Liberal
Studies, Westmont College, 955 La Paz Road, MS #1177, Santa Barbara, CA 93108
Email: gswanson@westmont.edu
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Abstract
Divorce is a common element in the United States and has been observed and analyzed
by scholars, researchers, and many who relate to it. It is significant in Child Development
because it has far reaching effects on children in a variety of ways. This paper shows
research on divorce and its effects on children. Specifically, the various options (and
common options) that parents choose to take in regards to divorce and the wellbeing of
their child. It was found that when divorce was a definite option for parents the choice
came down to whether to divorce when the child is at a young age or to delay parental
divorce until the child becomes an adult. Traditional views have shown to favor the twoparent model however this paper will also show the single-parent model. Both models
will be shown the positive and negative aspects as well as show the beneficial possibility
of the single-parent model.
Keywords: divorce, child, children, Development, single-parent, two-parent,
effects
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The Timing of Divorce
Divorce in the United States has been in a state of growth with far reaching
implications, specifically that of children. The National Health Statistics reported that
1,135,000 divorces were granted in the United States each year and along with this, 43%
of first marriages ended with divorce or separation within fifteen years (Delucia-Waack
2007). Depending on society’s view of the norm at a particular time in history, divorce
has taken on changing opinions: what the most successful action to take in regards to it.
Traditional views on divorce have been based on the two-parent family structure as the
most positive action to take. This societal opinion has changed over the years and
eventually the norm of thinking for divorce showed support for the single-parent family
structure as a beneficial option. These varying viewpoints are based off of the effects that
divorce has on children and the specific causes of these effects: both positive and
negative. With the growth of divorce rate in the United States there has been a correlating
growth in effects of children from divorced parents. The U.S. Census Bureau reported
“19.8% of children under the age of 18 live with one parent” (Delucia-Waack 2007).
With the increase of divorces came an increase of single-parent living situations and thus
forming a more accepted view of this “untraditional” approach towards divorce.
A variety of reasons can lead parents to consider divorce and are ultimately left
with two choices: to stay together or to divorce. Hopefully, but not always, this decision
is based off of the well being of their child or children and what is best for them. In
addition to the outcome of the child, the choice of divorce takes in to account the view of
two-parent vs. single-parent family structure. Following the question of if a family should
get divorced is the question of delayed or (relatively) immediate divorce. Many parents
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considering divorce in recent years have had the resource of research studies conducted
on the various aspects of the effects of divorce. Through these studies, the multiple
options of divorce are taken into account in specific contexts of families and individuals
in order to convey the most accurate research on the options at hand. Overall, the
majority of the research studies done on divorce its the effects on children show just how
important family structure and dynamic are for the child.
There are positive effects on children with parents who divorce as well as children
with parents who choose to stay together. Both options yield the potential to cause harm
to the child’s well being but that is specifically due to the level of conflict in the home
(Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001). Research has show that there are short- and long-term
consequences of divorce for children (Kenny 2000). However, in highly dysfunctional
families that did not divorce, the child’s antisocial behavior increased (Strohschein 2005).
When choosing divorce or maintaining the marriage the child is affected in both positive
and negative ways but the level of function determines the severity of these effects in a
family system.
For families with children considering divorce the choice of later-life divorce,
waiting for the child to become an adult, or divorcing when the child is younger is an
opinion that scholars, parents, and those that relate to divorce show a split in views. For
those that view the “two-parent family as the fundamental institution of society”, the
argument is formed that single-parent families contribute to too many problems to have a
positive affect on children. For those that view the single-parent family as an option, the
argument is formed that children can develop successfully in a variety of family
structures (Amato 2000).
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The author of this research paper will argue that single-parent families produce a
positive outcome for children of divorced parents although we will be exploring both
sides in the paper.
Single-parent Families: the Negative and Positive Effects
When parents of a child decide to divorce the issue is not if the child will be
affected but rather how the child will be affected. Familial changes to a child show
effects on their psychological well being such as loss, grief, abandonment, separation,
trust, anger, and betrayal (Kenny 2000). A child experiences negative emotional impacts
from divorce because they view their families as support systems and this system
becomes broken (Kenny 2000). This can occur suddenly or in a drawn-out time frame but
regardless the child’s support system undergoes change for better or for worse. The child
loses, either temporarily or definitely, a source of security, emotional support, practical
assistance, guidance, or supervision (Amato 1993). However, absence of a parent does
not always mean the loss of the parent or these sources from the child’s life (Amato
1993). With the absence of a parent, children (older or younger, residing at home or
elsewhere) experience anxiety and distress and can also serve as a confirmation of the
end of a marriage to the child. This shows that divorce seems to affect children regardless
of their age (Kenny 2000).
Children have shown to seemingly adjust well to divorce but later have
difficulties arise. Common challenges identified in research studies showed difficulty
with achieving psychological and economic independence as well as establishing and
maintaining intimate relationships (Kenny 2000). Another common problem that children
face is that of fantasy. Children can have unrealistic hopes for their parents to reconcile or
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believe that it was their own fault in causing the divorce (Delucia-Waack 2007). These
kinds of irrational thinking of the child show to deny the reality of the situation (Kenny
2000).
Economic hardship is also a major factor for the child’s well being: “income
stability, rather than total income, predicts children’s well-being” (Amato 2000). In
addition to economics, change of homes and change of schools show to negatively impact
the child (Amato 2000). It is another component of the child’s familiar life that undergoes
change. While some children adjust quickly and in a healthy manner, others adjust slowly
and show “long-term deficits in functioning” (Amato 2000).
Although there are a variety of negative consequences for children of divorced
parents there are a relieving amount of positive consequences for these children as well.
One qualitative study by Arditti showed children of divorced families to develop
especially close relationships with their custodial mothers. It was also found that children
were benefited by a variety of outcomes if their parents that were high in conflict
divorced, rather than staying married (Amato 2000).
Divorce is shown to be most beneficial to children in families of high conflict.
Families in high conflict produce adverse affects on children (Furstenberg & Kiernan
2001). For families to by dysfunctional there is an “absence of mutually supportive,
trusting, and respectful family relationships” (Strohschein 2005). In these cases, divorce
operates as a stress reliever for children. Antisocial behavior in a child also decreases
when highly dysfunctional families are dissolved (Strohschein 2005). However, a
minority of divorces has higher level of chronic marital conflict (Amato 2000). Research
on children of dysfunctional families shows them to be at risk for mental health
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problems. In addition, conflict is higher in families that divorce later rather than earlier
(Strohschein 2005).
When the family structure is disrupted by divorce a variety of effects on the child
occur depending on which parent becomes the custodial parent. In the case of
noncustodial parents, mothers showed to achieve more positive effects and fathers
showed to have more negative effects in regards to the relationship with the child.
Noncustodial mothers have relations with their children equal to that of custodial mothers
(Aquilino 1994). However, custodial mothers can lack financial support for the child and
if this is the case often the noncustodial father would not voluntarily support the child
financially after age 18 (Aquilino 1994). For noncustodial fathers, their relationship with
their child resulted in deterioration between the two. However, children of custodial
fathers showed to have higher quality of relationships in comparison to children from
intact families (Aquilino 1994). For parents of divorce, the mother (other than the
possibility of having lack of financial support) is impacted in a much more positive
result. For the father, it can go either beneficial or detrimental in regards to their
relationship with the child. In becoming the noncustodial father, the divorce can produce
extremely negative long-term effects in their father to child relationship. Overall,
custodial father relationships with their children show to preserve parental economic
support as well as relational support (Aquilino 1994). In addition to this, the well being of
the child is greatest when contact with the noncustodial parent is frequent (Amato 1993).
For children of divorce there is an amount of loss in various aspects but there are
also opportunities for these losses to be recovered. When a child lives in a single-parent
home instead of their previous living model of two-parent structure they temporarily lose
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resources that they used to have. However, with the commonality of divorce comes with
the commonality of alternative ways to support a child affected by divorce. With one
parent absent, temporarily or definitely, other adults can take this place. If the custodial
parent remarries then the stepparent can fill, partially or fully, the role of the absent
parent. In addition, other parents can serve as role models for the child (Amato 1993).
This can take a variety of forms: coach, church leader, scout leader, family friend, or
another family member. In this case, children will experience fewer problems when
another adult is able to take over the role of the absent parent (Amato 1993). Resources
and stressors and parental support affect the outcome of the child following divorce or
adult support helps accommodate resources and relieve stressors. In one research study
by Paul Amato, he identified that “children with high levels of resources not only have
opportunities to develop social and cognitive forms of competence, but are better able to
deal with stressful life situations than are other children” (Amato 1993).
Another positive aspect of how divorce impacts children are through the behavior
modification divorce can influence. There is a tendency for children in single-parent
families to take on a more androgynous behavior. In female-headed homes, daughters
display less pressure in the conformity to gender roles. In addition, these children, both
males and females, take on domestic responsibilities to compensate for the absent parent.
These children have broader skills and gender-appropriate skills. In addition to these
positive effects, children show “greater maturity, feeling of efficacy, and an internal locus
of control” and children with these aspects show a more positive global personal
adjustment (Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001).
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Through all of the various positive and negative aspects that form from divorce,
there is a strong possibility that children will improve in well-being rather than decline.
Children can gain protective factors through the effects of divorce. These include “the use
of active coping skills, support from family and friends, and having access to therapeutic
interventions” and through the gain of these factors, the child is likely to benefit from the
use of these (Amato 2000).
Two-Parent Families: The Negative and Positive Effects
In contrast with the early divorce parental view is the delayed parental divorce
view. Here, parents view divorce as a complex process rather than a simple and single
event. Rather than divorce being a “dissolution of marriage” parents who choose this
model view it as “sequences of ‘predivorce’ experiences” (Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001).
Divorce effects the family on a variety of circumstances and how divorce affects children
is a driving force that leads to the decision of divorce. According to Furstenberg, “divorce
is far more likely to occur among couples with personal, social, and economical problems
and parenting processes” (Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001).
In opposition to single-parent family structures, delayed parental divorce
highlights on the negative aspects of the former and chooses to try and avoid these
negative aspects. For single parents, there is more possibility to experience stress and
therefore not be able to fully support and nurture their children (Furstenberg & Kiernan
2001). For delayed parental divorce, the two-parent structure, when used beneficially, can
build off of the community of likeminded parents for the child. With two parents, there is
more support of resources for the child. In addition, social investment is much higher
with two-parent structure and they are able to help their child integrate into the “larger
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social world”. With two parents, there is an element of assisting the other parent and
support them: this takes the form of sharing childcare responsibilities and supporting the
other’s decisions (Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001).
When severe family dysfunction is not a factor in divorce, two-parent families
show to support children’s development. The child’s development can be compromised
when parents divorce or separate. If the parents stay together, they have to possibility of
“collaborating effectively in childrearing” (Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001). According to
Furstenberg, “children who grew up with both biological parents end up better off in part
because they are advantaged to begin with and because their parents remained together”.
While there is much support to Furstenberg’s claim, divorce has varying effects on
children either through timing, gender of the child, or the behavior of the family structure
(Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001).
Family structure plays a major role in how the child is affected by divorce. The
child’s emotional adjustment, behaviors, and gender role orientation are all aspects of the
child’s wellbeing that are subject to undergo change in the impacts of divorce. According
to Furstenberg, “the relationship between family structure and personal adjustment must
be viewed as reciprocal” and this extends to the child’s psychological state, prior to the
divorce as well as after (Furstenberg & Kiernan 2001).
However, later life parental divorce showed negative consequences to parentchild relationships. While it affected father-child relationships more negatively than
mother-child relationships, children with negative relationships lead to higher depression
in adult children (depression that might have been initiated by the divorce) and this
parent-child relationship is critical to the child’s wellbeing (Aquilino 1994, p. 908).
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In looking at children whose parents divorced after the child became an adult,
there was a tendency for these children to be more trustful, confident, and less estranged
than children of intact families. In addition, the long-term consequences of delayed
parental divorce on a child’s psychological well-being are more positive than negative
(Glenn & Kramer 1985).
In looking at the effects of adult children from parents who choose the delayed
parental divorce model, the negative impacts on the children showed that daughters had
more probability of divorcing, sons had less probability of marrying, and educational
attainment was lower for children who experienced divorce (Keith & Finlay 1988).
Discussion
When looking at many aspects in the complexity of divorce it is difficult to find a
direct, positive, and beneficial way to parent when faced with the decision of divorce.
Not only must a couple chose whether to divorce or not but they must chose, if divorce
was chosen, whether to separate right away or to delay the divorce. The primary focus for
these decisions should be for the wellbeing of the child or children. Issues such as abuse,
severe family dysfunction, and harm in other ways must take priority in being addressed
and dealt with.
In looking at the effects on mental health on a child from divorce there are
typically two outcomes: children will either produce resiliency or vulnerability
(Strohschein 2005). There are also further reaching implications of divorce on children.
Divorce not only affects the parents, child (or children), and those immediately associated
with the family, but it can also extend to subsequent generations. There is also a
likelihood that divorce can affect those born well after the divorce took place. Parental
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divorce increase the likelihood of further marital discord and this can be passed on to a
third generation (Amato & Cheadle 2005).
With the increase in dissolving marriages, there are more children affected by its
consequences (Kenny 2000). There is also an increase of adults that are children of
divorce. However, many, if not most, of these adults have shown an overall wellbeing in
self (Glenn & Kramer 1985). Even though divorce can affect future generations of
children, who is to say that the positive aspects brought by divorce cannot overrun the
negative? Although, divorce is prominent in our generation and still shows an increase
for future generations, there is the strong possibility that the positive effects of divorce
with shine through the negative in children and adults.
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