Warm-up

Assume that you are the parent.

What dating rules would you have for your
teenager?

What would you do to keep them safe?

Do these rules differ from mother and father?
Chapter 8:
Dating
KILGORE
Love vs. Infatuation
Love
Infatuation

Grows slowly

Rush to marry

Long lasting

Less ambition, idealistic

Love entire person

Happens quickly

Want the person to grow

Short lived

Willing to compromise

Physical attraction

Improves performance

Jealousy

More kind and thoughtful

Many arguments

Trust

Twitterpated

Ability to wait

Loss of appetite

More realistic

Insecure in relationship
Dating…Understanding it’s
purpose & process


Attitude – yourself

Growth

Positive and Negative Experiences
Long-term commitment

Timing (too young/too early)



Fickle
Slows much needed growth during your teen years
Decision making and goal achievement

Hindered? Consquences?
Styles of Dating

What is a date?

Dating is a social activity in which a couple spends time
together getting to know each other.

Formal vs. Informal



What are they?

Examples?

Preference?
Then and now…

Traditionally

2015
Dating in the 1950s!
Functions of Dating

Understanding others

Understanding yourself

Providing companionship

Improving communication

Learning to negotiate

Learning responsibility

Evaluating personality traits
Stages of Dating

Relationships go through stages

Group dating= spending time dating with a large
group of people.

Pair dating= as a couple develops a relationship
with each other they spend more time one on one.

Steady dating= a commitment to dating only one
person.
Advantages & Disadvantages
Good
Bad

Security

May feel trapped

Trust

Breakup may be difficult

Respect

Peer pressure

Future

Can limit experiences

Be yourself

Less time spent with friends

Feel loved
Survey Says…

Review the survey data
Starting a Relationship

Dating advice (from our book):

Make your appearance count.

Be friendly, confident, and courteous.

Start a conversation.

Listen intently to what the person shares.

Plan time together.
Personal Boundaries

Personal boundaries= are limits for behavior within
relationships.

Apply to what you are willing to allow others to say
or do to you.

Can help you know when a relationship has crossed
the line.

Unhealthy behaviors signal that it is time to end a
relationship.
Signs of an Unhealthy
Relationship

Any kind of physical abuse.

Verbal abuse (name calling, yelling, demeaning
criticism)

Demands on your times so you can not maintain
relationships with friends and family.

Demand for sexual favors.

Disrespect for your ideas, feelings, and self.
Ending a Relationship

Close relationships rarely end by mutual consent.

Ending a relationship can be painful.

Focus on growth.

Suggestions for breakups:

Realize your partner will feel hurt.

Change your dating patterns.

Recognize your feelings are normal.

Emphasize other aspects of your life.
True?
Commitment to Marry

Engagement= formal commitment is the final stage
before marriage.

In many relationships, a type of magnetism exists
that draws two people together.

Dating which leads to marriage should be
approached slowly.

It takes time for a couple to develop and identify
whether the initial attraction will last.
Love

Romantic love= exhilarating feeling that can spark a
relationship.

Mature love= long lasting, caring, and giving type of
love.

Infatuation= strong feeling of attraction, tends to be
one sided.
Assignment: Your ideal mate.
Growth of Mature Love

Develop rapport: enjoy being together, want to
spend more time getting to know each other.

Personal sharing: as a couple shares time, thoughts,
ideas, and feelings, the find acceptance in each
other.

Dependency on each other: couple becomes
attached, depend on each other for support and
encouragement, the miss each other when they are
apart.

Feeling of satisfaction: both feel their personal
needs are being met, love grows deeper.
Expressing Affection

As a couple grows closer,
they may find themselves
drawn into a desire to give
physical expression to their
love.

Think about your choices,
consider the
consequences, and make
logical decisions based on
your values.
Psychological Consequences

Many people are brought up to believe that sexual
intimacy belongs in marriage.

Values learned from family, friends, and religious
beliefs may be very strong.

Having sex does not signify commitment.

Negative consequences of self doubt, guilt, feeling
used, fear, and lack of trust can occur.
Pregnancy

Abstinence= not having sex, only 100% method of
avoiding pregnancy.

Caring for a baby is a 24 hour responsibility that
requires social, emotional, and intellectual maturity.

Teen parents may not finish high school.

Teen pregnancy poses health risks for mother and
baby.

May not receive proper prenatal care because
they are in denial.
STD’s

HPV= infect the skin and mucous membranes, may cause…

Genital warts= small bumps or clusters of bumps on the genitals.

Some HPV types can cause cervical cancer.

Gonorrhea= a bacterial infection that can damage the male and
female organs, resulting in sterility.

Chlamydia= a bacterial infection that can damage a woman's
reproductive organs, may not no obvious symptoms.

Herpes= incurable virus produces painful sores or blisters.

Syphilis= bacterial infection can be treated with an antibiotic,
begins with chancre sore, can affect liver, skin, heart and nervous
system.

Hepatitis B= a virus that attacks the liver.

AIDS= caused by HIV, attacks cells that help fight infection and
disease.
Rape

Rape= forced sexual intercourse.

Date rape= forced sex with a dating partner against
one’s will.

Studies show that alcohol and drugs are often
involved.

Date rape drugs cause victims to become
physically helpless and unable to remember.

Don’t take a drink from a stranger!

No means no!