WHAP Comparative Essay DIRECTIONS • • Part C (Suggested planning and writing time – 35 minutes) Percent of Section score – 33 1/3 • • • • • • • • Directions: You are to answer the following question. You should spend 5 minutes organizing or outlining your essay. Write an essay that: Has a relevant thesis and supports that thesis with appropriate historical evidence. Addresses all parts of the question. Makes direct relevant comparisons. Analyzes relevant reasons for similarities and differences. These directions are the same for EVERY comparative essay. CORE RUBRIC The five (5) scoring areas only • TH – Thesis • ATQ – Addresses all parts of The Question • EV – Evidence (9 for 2 points, 6 for 1 point) • DC – Direct Comparison • A – Analysis of a Direct Comparison PROMPT or “QUESTION” Compare the goals and outcomes of the revolutionary process in TWO of the following countries, beginning with the dates specified. • You need to do this verb: compare ‒ Similarities AND differences 2 SIMS + 1 DIFF 1 SIM + 2 DIFFs • You need to compare TWO nouns ‒ Goals Mexico 1910 China 1911 Russia 1917 ‒ Outcomes • You need to verb this noun ‒ Revolutionary process--not just the revolutions but the process of revolutions TARGET & BRAINSTORM Mexico China Goals Overthrow the elite Overthrow monarch Republican form of government Nationalism Overthrown monarch Set up communist government or republic (depending on the group) Outcomes Redistributed land to peasants Continued pressure from outside forces and ideas (Japan, West, Marxism) keeps area in unrest Civil War in 1949 leads to Communist state Bolsheviks seize power after civil war with whites Totalitarian government Communism Revolutionary Peasants…something…Diaz Process Pancho Villa leads to US coming to Overthrow of monarch 1st wants western-style democracy—Sun YatSen Republic declared Long March Civil War between Mao Zedong and Chiang kaishek Ends in communist-totalitarian state Overthrow of monarch Republic (provisional government) Civil war leads to rise of communism/totalitarian dictatorship Tries to spread revolution (3rd international) Cultural revolution—anti-west Tiananmen Square Censorship to control western contact End foreign economic control nationalism Oil was nationalized Continued influence from others (U.S.) Mexico Other Facts U.S. interferes a lot NAFTA now? Use the Target the Prompt chart to make sure you unpack the nouns and verbs with no mistake. Russia Brainstorm to figure out which two regions are best for your essay. • Which two do I have the most evidence for? • What are the SIMs and DIFFs? • What are REASONS for SIMs and DIFFs? THESIS (TH) MUST • State the regions • State the time period • State the topic(s) • Include 3 comparisons • 2 SIMs + 1 DIFF • 1 SIM + 2 DIFFs • Use comparative cues COMMON FORMULA • While/Although/Despite… A + B were similar, A was THIS, but B was THAT. THESIS (TH) MUST • Be historically accurate • Be specific with concrete details • Be clear, getting straight to the point with firm diction MUST NNNNOTS NO VAGUE TIME: back in the day, long ago, in ancient times,... NO VAGUE NOUNS: things, stuff, aspects, ways, they/them/ their, the people,… NO VAGUE QUALIFIERS: lots, a lot, many, really, huge, very, like omg totally COMMON FORMULA • While/Although/Despite… A + B were similar, A was THIS, but B was THAT. NO ABSOLUTES: never, always, only NO EMPTY LANGUAGE: I think, I’m going to tell you, In this essay I will… THESIS (TH) MUST • Be focused • Place at beginning or end • Be historically accurate • Argue ‒ Someone should be able to argue an alternate position ‒ Think opening statement a lawyer makes to defend his case COMMON FORMULA • While/Although/Despite… A + B were similar, A was THIS, but B was THAT. If you state it in your thesis, you must address it in the essay. Only say in your essay what you can tie back to your thesis. THESIS (TH) MUST • May need to be changed. If so, make the change! ‒ ‒ When you finish your essay, reread with your thesis in mind If your thesis needs to be tweaked, make any changes necessary • Some people “write their way” to their thesis— writing it last instead of first. Nae problem. Do what works for you. MUST NNNNOTS No extra anything in the intro—no hook, no backstory—just drop the THESIS and go. No POV 1: we can see that, when we study, our understanding of… No POV 2: don’t use “you” at all. At all. No rhetorical questions. Do not answer a question as your thesis. No listicles: do not turn your thesis into a list. And while we’re on it, don’t turn your essay into a listicle either. THESIS EXAMPLE: REGIONS Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations: the Mediterranean South Asia East Asia While both the classical Roman and Han empires centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers, Thesis Musts • Regions specified ‒ Mediterranean (Rome) ‒ East Asia (Han) the Roman Empire did not utilize a political philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism. ‒ Analyzing only one civilization within a region is perfectly acceptable. THESIS EXAMPLE: TIME PERIOD Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations: the Mediterranean South Asia While both the classical Roman and Han empires centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism. East Asia Thesis Musts • Regions specified • Time period ‒ Prompt implies time period by specifying the empire formation period and the classical period ‒ Most CB prompts, however, will specify a time period explicitly THESIS EXAMPLE: TOPIC Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations: the Mediterranean South Asia While both the classical Roman and Han empires centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political East Asia Thesis Musts • Regions specified • Time period • Topic specified ‒ Empire-building philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism. ‒ Centralizing power and expanding are two ways an empire gets built THESIS EXAMPLE: SIMs & DIFFs Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations: the Mediterranean South Asia While both the classical Roman and Han empires centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political East Asia Thesis Musts • Regions specified • Time period • Topic specified • SIMs (1) and DIMs philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the ‒ Both centralized power Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and ‒ Both expanded militarily Confucianism. THESIS EXAMPLE: SIMs & DIFFs Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations: the Mediterranean South Asia While both the classical Roman and Han empires centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political East Asia Thesis Musts • Regions specified • Time period • Topic specified • SIMs and DIFFs (2) philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism. ‒ used or didn’t use philosophy as an empire-forming political tool THESIS EXAMPLE: COMPARATIVES Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations: the Mediterranean South Asia While both the classical Roman and Han empires centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political philosophy East Asia Thesis Musts • Regions specified • Time period • Topic specified • SIMs and DIFFs (3 total) to structure and rule their empire while the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism. • Comparative cues ‒ and, both ‒ while THESIS EXAMPLE: ALL TOGETHER Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations: the Mediterranean South Asia While both the classical Roman and Han empires centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political East Asia Thesis Musts • Regions specified • Time period • Topic specified • SIMs and DIFFs (3 total) philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism. • Comparative cues ADRESSES THE QUESTION (ATQ) MUST • Address both SIMs and DIFFs—at least 3 total ‒ 2 SIMs and 1 DIFF ‒ 1 SIM and 2 DIFFs • Establish concrete, valid comparisons based on accurate history • Crafting your essay around three (3) DCs ensures ATQ points are automatically addressed MUST NNNNOTS • Address only SIMs and no DIFFs • Address only DIFFs and no SIMs EVIDENCE (EV) MUST • Be real: dates, events, people, laws, monumental architecture, quotes—anything concrete fact that helps to prove the DC, and therefore your THESIS. • Be RELEVANT and ACCURATE • Follow the “Rule of 3” ‒ 3 bits of evidence supporting each DC ‒ 3x3=9 ‒ Give 9 specific evidence for full points ‒ Give 6 specific evidence for partial points DIRECT COMPARISON (DC) MUST • Establish a concrete, valid comparison of SIM/DIFF based on accurate history using comparative cue glue. ‒ also, as well, both, shared, in addition, like, similarly, too ‒ however, on the other hand, conversely, differently, in contrast, either, neither, in opposition to, unlikely, in contrast to, unlike, while… • Create three (3) per essay. DIRECT COMPARISON (DC) DO NOT • Settle for comparisons that are indirect, implied, “antifacts” ‒ i.e., This happened here. This happened there. • See the DC chart you already got in class ANALYSIS (DC-A) MUST • Explain the reason for a SIM/DIFF… why w-h-y WHY!?! • Explain cause AND effect. • Ideally, explain why and then explain why the why. • Comparative cue words ‒ because, led to, caused by, affected, impacted, came from, was due to, in order to • Avoid circular reasoning—supporting a statement by simply repeating the statement in different or stronger terms. ‒ X is true because of Y. Y is true because of X. Research credits Ms. Jackson’s Teaching Experience The Internet 2,085 Facebooking History Teachers, especially and C. Meier and Stacey Jackson (yep-another Jackson!)