Unit 5
Major Writing Assignment: Writing a Business Letter
Informative Text
Common Core Standards: W2a-f Write informative/explanatory texts to convey ideas and information clearly through accurate selection and organization.
W.5 Develop and strengthen writing by planning. W.7 Conduct research to answer a question or solve a problem.
Essential Question: When (not if) will you need to write a business letter?
Introduction: You communicate with people every day in multiple settings, with different audiences, and with varying purposes.
When you communicate in a workplace setting, the purpose is often to communicate, share, and inquire about information. In this
writing assignment, you will compose a business letter to request information from a specific organization.
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Write with a Purpose in Mind
Writing Task: Write a business letter to an organiza5tion and request information for further
action.
Getting Started: Who will you write to?
-trade school, college, or university regarding admission, financial aid, or scholarship
requirements
-local business regarding summer job or internship positions
-organization that sponsors foreign exchange-students are student-athletes
The Basics: Below are some of the common purposes, audiences, and formats for business
letters.
Purposes
 To provide or share
information
 To request or obtain
information
Audiences
 Employees of all types
of organizations and
companies
 Clients of a specific
business organization
 Human Resources
Departments
Formats
 e-mails
 letters
 memos
Common Core Traits
1.Development of Ideas
-has a clearly stated purpose
-develops the letter with well-chosen and
relevant facts and examples
(evidence), limiting details to essential
information
-has a concluding section that
supports the information and expresses
appreciation
2.Oraganization of Ideas
-logically organizes information
Uses appropriate and varied transitions
to connect thoughts and ideas
-formatting is correct
-includes the contact information for
the sender and the recipient
3. Language Facility and
Conventions
-maintains a formal style, objective,
and respectful tone
-uses precise language and domainspecific vocabulary
-includes complex sentences
-employs correct grammar,
mechanics, and spelling
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Part 1: Pre-writing and Planning
Getting Started
Decide on an Organization
Think About
Research the Important and Relevant Facts
Think About
Consider your education, career, and recreational aspirations and
interests. Then, choose an organization that has something to
offer you in growing and enhancing these interests or meeting
your aspirations.
When you have decided on an area of interest and related
organization, you will need to find the information that is available
to you regarding your topic.
When you are researching, pay special attention the domainspecific terms and precise language that is commonly used in that
specific field. For instance, organizations that are involved in the
medical field would use terms and abbreviations that are very
specific to that that field. Using those terms when writing your
letter will make a good impression and demonstrate that you are
familiar with the topic or field.
Consider the audience; Remember your Purpose
-When you have chosen a specific organization to write to, you
will next need to research and identify the person, department,
and the office location that deals with your area of interest.
Consider your purpose as you research your audience. For
example, if your goal is to obtain an internship working as
mechanic for a supercross team, should you contact the athlete or
the team manager?
-Where would you like to work or complete an internship?
-Where can you find a scholarship or grant to pursue my
education or personal interests?
-What organization might find me a desirable member?
-What kind of organization might sponsor me as a foreign
exchange student, athlete, or something else?
-Where can I find information about this topic or field easily on the
Internet? Do does the organization have a website?
-What do I already know about this topic, field, or organization?
-Do I have any personal connections to this organization or field?
In other words, do I know someone who already works in this
field or at the organization? Consult with this person if possible.
-What work-related terms, words, and abbreviations are repeated
as I research this organization?
Picture It:
What department in this
organization handles my area of
interest?
Where is the office for this
department located, including
the mailing address?
Who is the manager of this
department?
What is the e-mail address of
this department of this
Pro Track Industries Internships Applications
Pro Track Ride Shop
9999 Wardlow Road
Corona, CA 92860
Zack Johnson
Zjohnson@protrack.com
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manager?
Identify What you Need to know
Once you have identified the existing information available to you,
it’s time to determine what you still need or want to know. Create
a specific request, which will serve as a controlling idea, or thesis
statement does in an essay.
Describe Your Interest
Describe your interest in the field of subject of the organization to
who you are writing. Provide background information or relevant
experience or coursework.
Picture It:
Specific Request: Please accept me into your Summer Mechanics
Internship.
Picture It:
Description of Interest: I enjoy working on motorcycles and work on
them daily for my friends and family. My brother was a summer
mechanic for you last year and learned a great deal about building
engines, which is my specific area of interest. I would like to learn
more about creating horsepower through feedback and mentorship.
Peer Review: Describe to a peer the purpose and audience of your business letter. Then ask: What background information should I
include about my interest, and how can I acquire the attention of my recipient?
Time to Write: In your notes, develop your writing plan. Record a short description of the letter you want to write. Next, use a chart or
graphic organizer like the one on page 4 in the Picture It section to record contact information and the ideas that will comprise the
body of your letter. Think about the following writing tips as you outline your business letter:
 Research, research, research! Find out as much as possible about your audience, including facts about the organization, so that
you can focus the body of the document and make the request as specific as possible. In addition, you don’t want to waste the
audience’s time by asking for information that you could easily find on your own.
 Business letters are generally one page in length, meaning you must limit the details of your letter to only the most important
and relevant facts and information.
 List precise words and terms that frequently used in the information you’ve research about the organization. Refer to your list as
you write and try to integrate some of this domain-specific vocabulary throughout your letter.
 Use formal language when writing business letters, as the recipient is not likely to be a friend of yours. Likewise, maintain formal
language, your objective, a respectful tone, and standard formatting throughout your letter in order to make a good impression.
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Part 2: Drafting
Common Core Standards: W.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to the task, purpose, and
audience. L.2 Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization.
The graphic organizer below shows the structure for organizing a clear and coherent business letter. There is also a professional
example provided on page
Organizing Your Business Letter
Introduction:
 Introduce yourself, and then provide relevant background information as necessary.
 State the purpose for writing the letter.
Body:






Establish and maintain a formal style and objective, respectful tone. Avoid slang and casual language.
Include specific questions or request for information.
Use a business letter format (Look at model on page )
Organize ideas in a logical and clear manner.
Include precise language and domain-specific vocabulary that shows your understanding of the organization or its work.
Use appropriate and varied transition to link ideas.
Conclusion:
 Express appreciation to the recipient for reading your letter and honoring your request.
Grammar in Context: Abbreviations and Acronyms
Proper names, including names of organizations, competitions, awards, and programs are capitalized. When proper names are
abbreviated or referred to by acronyms, all the capital letters stay capitalized. Abbreviations are shortened forms of words that usually
begin with a capital letter and end with a period. Acronyms are words created from the first or few letters of several words in a name
and are written with capital letters and no periods. For instance, you may need to use abbreviations or acronyms as your refer to the
names of states or organizations.
Word Form
Examples
abbreviation
acronyms
Avenue = Ave.
Corporation = Corp.
MADD = Mothers Against Drunk Drivers
WHO = World Health Organization
AMA = American Motorcycle Association
PTI – Pro Track Industries
Mister = Mr.
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Time to Write: Now develop the first draft of your business letter, following the structured outlined in the Organizing Your Business Letter chart. As
you write, make sure to keep the information purposeful, clear, and brief. Use abbreviations and acronyms as necessary. Make sure you use
capitalization correctly.
Business Letter Format – Visual Example
Find an additional example here: http://msgreenes9thgradeenglish.weebly.com/uploads/1/4/0/0/14008762/businessletterformat.pdf
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Part 3: Revising Your Writing
Common Core Standards: W.2e Establish and maintain a formal style. W.5 Develop and strengthen writing as needed by revising, editing, rewriting or try a
new approach.
Directions: As you revise, think about the content, tone, and formatting of your business letter. The primary goal is to determine if
you’ve achieved your purpose and effectively communicated your ideas to the audience. The following chart with help you decipher
which parts of your draft are in need of revising, rewriting, or a new approach.
Business Letter
Ask Yourself
Tips
Revision Strategies
Bracket information regarding the writer’s interest
in the organization.
Add, delete, or revise this information to keep the
introduction purposeful, clear, and brief.
2. Is the request for information clearly stated
in the body?
3. Is precise language and domain-specific
vocabulary utilized?
Place a box around the request for information.
Add a request for information if one is missing.
Underline precise language and domain-specific
vocabulary.
4. Does the concluding section express
appreciation for the recipient’s assistance?
Circle any statement of appreciation in the closing.
Add precise language and domain-specific
vocabulary as needed to show knowledge of the
field or organization.
Add a sentence of appreciation if one is missing.
5. Is the tone objective and is the language
consistently formal?
6. Is the letter formatted correctly?
Place an X next to any casual phrasing or slang
words.
Put a check mark next to each formatting element:
sender’s address, recipient’s address, date,
salutation, body, closing, and signature.
1. Does the introduction provide relevant
information about the writer’s interest in
the organization and purpose for
writing?
Delete: If casual phrasing or slang is presence,
replace it with formal language.
Add any formatting elements that are missing.
Peer Review: Swap your business letter with a peer. As you read and comment on their business letter, focus on content and
formatting. Be sure to point out whether the tone is objective and the language of the letter is clear and appropriate. Use the tips
above to help them recognize mistakes. If you get your business letter back and there are aspects to be corrected or enhanced, use
the revision strategies in the chart clarify your writing or try a new approach.
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Part 4: Analyze a Draft
Common Core Standards: W.2e Establish and maintain a formal style. W.5 Develop and strengthen writing as needed by revising, editing, rewriting or try a
new approach.
Directions: Read this draft and the comments in the margin. Notice that there are comments on the strengths of the letter as well as suggestions for
improvement.
Dakota Redder
2125 Franklin Road
Norco, CA 92860
Using block-style format,
Dakota includes the correct
information in the header of
his letter.
January 9, 2014
Dear Mr. Johnson:
In his introduction, Dakota
describes his interest in the
organization and establishes a
personal connection to the
organization through his
brother. However, some of
the language is repetitive and
informal. Dakota should
revise his letter to incorporate
more formal language.
I love working on and riding dirt bikes. I love to feel the wind in my hair and throw down on the track with my brother,
who is a professional mechanic on the AMA Supercross circuit with Pro Track Industries. He’s told me some gnarly
stories. I would love to be part of the action.
In the introduction, Dakota
states his purpose for writing
– to be part of the action with
Pro Track Industries.
Zack Johnson
Pro Track Ride Shop
9999 Wardlow Road
Corona, CA 92860
Writing Tip: Staying Specific and Formal
To improve the effectiveness of his letter, Dakota needs to revise the language to more specific and more formal. This revision will also improve the tone and
style of the letter. In order to meet his goal of becoming an intern at PTI, Dakota needs to make a good impression.
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Dakota’s Revision to the Introduction
I love working on and riding dirt bikes. I love to feel the wind in my hair and throw down on the track with my brother,
who is a professional mechanic on the AMA Supercross circuit with Pro Track Industries. He’s told me some gnarly
stories. I would love to be part of the action.
Although I love working on dirt bikes as an individual, I also enjoy working collaboratively with other mechanics like
my brother, Myles Redder. Two years ago, Myles was hired as a Pro Track Industries mechanic. His stories have
encouraged me to also follow my dream of being a professional Supercross mechanic. I would very much like to
become part of your team through an internship this summer.
At school, I enjoy my mechanics and engineering class the most. I want to improve my mechanical skills. An
internship with PTI could help my gain valuable skills and develop my mechanical talents. At PTI, I could get valuable
feedback on the effectiveness of my work from other professional mechanics. I cannot gain this type of priceless
feedback anywhere else.
Please send me the internship application materials, including the deadline and the criteria for eligibility. I am very
thankful for your help, and I am looking forward to the opportunity to join the PTI team.
Sincerely,
Dakota Redder
In the body, Dakota explains
why he is a good candidate
for the workshop. However,
Dakota can improve the
effectiveness of his letter by
using active and passive
tenses appropriately.
Dakota states his request for
information that will help him
achieve his goal.
Throughout the letter, Dakota
conveys an objective and
respectful tone. He ends on a
polite note, and inserts a
closing and his signature.
Dakota Redder
Writing Tip: Use Active and Passive Voice Tenses
When the subject of the sentence performs the action, the verb is in the active voice. When the subject is acted upon it is in passive voice. In most writing
situations, the active voice is preferable because it is straightforward and clear. However, a writer may choose the passive voice to focus on the action or the
object r3eceiving the action rather than the subject. See the examples below:
Tense
Active Voice
Passive Voice
Present
Past
I want to improve my mechanical skills.
I did not gain this kind of feedback anywhere else.
Future
I will get other professional mechanics valuable
feedback on the effectiveness of my work.
My mechanical skills will be improved.
This kind of feedback had not been given to me
before.
The effectiveness of my work will get valuable
feedback by other my mechanics.
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Dakota’s Revision to Paragraph 2
At PTI, I could get other mechanics’ feedback on the effectiveness of my work.
At PTI, I could get other professional mechanics’ opinions on the effectiveness of my work.
Use the feedback from your peers and teacher, as well as the two “Writing Tips” to revise your letter. Evaluate how clearly you have
communicated your ideas to your audience.
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Part 5: Editing and Publishing
Common Core Standards: W.5 Strengthen writing by revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach. L. 1b Use various types of phrases and clauses to
convey specific meanings and add variety and interest to writing. L.2c Spell correctly.
Directions: In the editing stage, you check your business letter to make sure that it is free of grammar, usage, and punctuation
errors. Also, read very carefully to check for any spelling errors, even after doing a word-processing spell-check. These kinds of
mistakes distract your audience from the content of your letter.
Grammar in Context: Complex Sentences
Before you edit and proofread for the final time, consider improving sentence structure to strengthen you letter. In Dakota’s draft, he
uses a sentence fragment – a group of words that does not have a subject or a verb or that does not express a complete thought.
Two years ago my brother.
(This sentence is a fragment because it does not express a complete thought.)
As Dakota edits his letter, he recognizes the sentence fragment. He corrects the mistake by creating a complex sentence.
Two years ago, my brother Myles was hired as a Pro Track Industries mechanic.
A dependent clause must be attached to an independent clause to form a complete sentence. This type of sentence is called a complex sentence.
Notice the comma follows a dependent clause that appears at the beginning of a complex sentence.
Be sure to proofread your business letter several times and correct any errors. Add variety to your letter by varying sentence
structures, such as including complex sentences. Make sure each sentence as a subject and verb and expresses a complete thought.
Then, get ready to publish your business letter!
Publish Your Writing: Consider these options for publishing your letter!
 Mail your letter to the intended recipient.
 Email your letter to the intended recipient.
 Enhance your other business communication skills by publishing your letter to your online professional profile.
 Publish yours and other student’s letters in a book for classroom use.
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Business Letter Scoring Rubric
Directions: Use the rubric below to evaluate your business letter. You can also use this rubric when you are finished completing the
Timed Writing (a follow-up assignment).
Score Common Core Traits
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5
4
3
2
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Development: Has a compelling, clearly stated purpose, limits details to only the most important information; provides a concluding
section that expresses appreciation
Organization: Has a logical organization; includes appropriate formatting; uses varied transitions; includes contact information
Language: Maintains a formal style and objective, respectful tone, uses precise language and domain-specific vocabulary; shows a strong
command of conventions
Development: Competently states a purpose, includes mostly important details; expresses appreciation in conclusion
Organization: Has a logical organization; includes appropriate formatting; uses transitions; includes contact information
Language: Uses precise words; generally maintains a formal style and objective, respectful tone; has few errors in conventions
Development: Sufficiently states a purpose, includes some unimportant details; expresses appreciation
Organization: Has a mostly logical organization; some formatting is incorrect; needs a few additional transitions; includes contact
information
Language: Uses vague words in some places; mostly maintains a formal style and objective, respectful tone; includes a few errors in
conventions
Development: States the purpose for writing, but could be clearer; includes unimportant details; implies but does not explicitly express
appreciation
Organization: Has some flaw in organization; some formatting is missing or incorrect; more transitions are needed; contact information
is missing details
Language: Needs more precise language; has frequent lapses in style tone; includes some critical errors in conventions
Development: Weakly states the purpose for writing; many of the details are unimportant; lacks an expression of appreciation
Organization: Has organizational flaws; lacks formatting; important transitions are missing; contact information is incomplete
Language: Lacks precise language or uses words incorrectly; uses informal style and has a personal tone; has many critical errors in
conventions that distract from the meaning
Development: Lacks a clear purpose for writing; question or request missing or unclear
Organization: Has no apparent organization; omits formatting and contact information
Language: Has an inappropriate style and tone; has major problems in conventions
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