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Religion vs. Sexuality: The Struggle of Gay Men
Within the Mormon Church
Taylor Gwinn
SCOM 432: Dr. Leppington
Spring 2011
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ABSTRACT:
Around the world, there are over 13 million members who belong to the Church
of Latter-day Saints, including 6 million in the United States alone. In the 1950’s the
issue of homosexuality began to arise in the church, causing a huge stir throughout
Mormon members and leaders. LDS has gone to great lengths to “change’ the same-sex
attractions and homosexual tendencies of their male members. They believe
homosexuality is one of the greatest sins that can be committed.
Men in the Mormon Church who are homosexual go through great conflict within
themselves and with the church in which they are a part of. They must decide whether or
not they will “cure” their homosexuality, decide not to take part in any same-sex
relationships and activities, or simply leave the church, all decisions that will affect their
lives dramatically.
This paper will examine how the Mormon Church makes coherent their narrative
about homosexuality and how gay men in the church must make coherent their
homosexuality within the church. It will combine these two narratives and examine the
effects that take place. The background and research completed in this paper will use
CMM, The Coordinated Management of Meaning Theory to discuss the ways in which
conflict takes place and effects homosexual men in the Mormon Church.
INTRODUCTION:
Often times, there is no greater dilemma than one that takes place between a
person and their religion. When someone is faced with a truth that doesn’t coincide with
their religious beliefs or the beliefs of their church, they are faced with an extremely
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painful crisis. The Mormon Church is an extremely powerful religious group with rooted
foundations that they work hard to live by. One of their main and most controversial
beliefs is their belief that homosexuality is one of the greatest sins that can be committed.
The church has little to no tolerance of homosexuality among their members and even
work to stop homosexual behavior outside of their church.
When a Mormon man is faced with the reality that they are experiencing samesex attractions, and most likely are a homosexual, an extremely difficult conflict arises.
He must deal with his true identity as a homosexual and leave the church, or he must
work to “get rid” of his same-sex attractions and go on with his life as a “good” Mormon,
start a family, and follow the path that God has planned for him within the church.
Conflict also arises between the people of the church, often Bishops, and the Mormon
homosexuals. These members must do their best to show the individual that a life of
homosexuality is not one that is in line with Mormon beliefs.
The purpose of this project is to take an in-depth look at the ways in which
conflict takes place when dealing with homosexuality within the Mormon Church and
within the homosexual individuals within the church. Possible solutions to these
problems may never be concrete, but through examining the processes at length and
looking into previous research into the conflict at hand, I will develop ways in which I
believe these problems could be reduced.
RESEARCH QUESTIONS:

How does the suppression of homosexuality in the Mormon Church affect gay
members?

In what ways does a homosexual Mormon man decide which life-path to take?
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HYPOTHESIS:
If homosexuality is suppressed among men in the Mormon Church, even more conflict
will arise, not only between the Church and its members but also more importantly
between the members and themselves.
LITERATURE REVIEW:
To Be A Mormon
Across the globe, there are over 13 million members who belong to the Church of
Latter-day Saints or LDS, including 6 million in the United States alone. These members
call themselves “Mormons”, more commonly. LDS gains more power every year,
especially investment and political power. It is also currently considered the richest
church per capita (Hui-Tzu Grace, 2010). 70% of members are not even born into the
religion.
Global Mormon Culture
The church is said to convert more than 800 people a day to Mormonism and
300,000 people per year, worldwide. It is one of the fastest growing churches abroad and
has been for quite some time. Asia is home to over 1 million Mormons, South American
to more than 3 million, and Europe and Central America, an estimated 500,000 members
each. The Mormon Church and their followers are undoubtedly a huge growing
establishment. LDS and its followers today extend influence through diverse and
distinct pathways, making missionaries a recognizable global force. There are over
51, 500 Mormon missionaries serving worldwide every year.
(http://newsroom.lds.org/facts-and-stats)
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Mormon Beliefs
The Mormon beliefs include “13 Articles of Faith”. Two years before the
original Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith died, he wrote them in a letter to a
newspaper editor who has asked for information about the church. They have now
become the basic principles of their gospel. (http://mormon.org/articles-offaith?gclid=CPTihdCn-acCFUnf4AodUz4prg) They include believing in God and Jesus
Christ and that all mankind can be saved if they are obedient to the laws and
ordinances of the Mormon gospel. They also believe the Bible to be the word of God
as far as it is translated correctly and that the Book of Mormon is also the word of
God.
The Book of Mormon states that everyone on earth was a spirit in the preexistence and when we die, if we had been good and lived as a “good Mormon” then
our spirits go to “spirit paradise”. If we were bad they go to “spirit prison”.
http://listverse.com/2008/02/04/top-10-bizarre-mormon-beliefs/ In the LDS
doctrine there are three heavens: the Celestial Kingdom, Terrestrial Kingdom, and
Telestial Kingdom. The Celestial is the highest, where God and the ones who
followed his law reside. The Terrestrial is the middle, where people who followed
the Law of Moses reside. The Telestial is the lowest, where the ones who followed
carnal law reside.
Basic Lifestyle Choices
The Mormon Church has become known to many around the world as having
very particular and sometimes unusual beliefs and practices. To convince people,
particularly Americans, that Mormonism is not as radical as some may perceive, the
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church has spent an undisclosed amount of money on new TV commercials
depicting Mormons as everyday, hardworking, diverse Americans (Commercial Appeal,
2010).
What it means to be “an ultimate Mormon” is described in the “Word of
Wisdom”, a section of the Doctrine of Covenants. This book is considered by many
Mormon followers to consist of revelations direct from God. The Doctrine of Covenants
explains “how” people should practice Mormonism and the ways in which people should
live to truly consider themselves Mormon.
Prohibitions include “hot drinks” (minus tea) and other drinks that include
caffeine, and of course refraining from alcohol. The honor code at Brigham Young, a
university privately owned by the church, reflects the values and regulations that
Mormons are expected to live by. These include refraining from pornographic material,
always using clean language, and no inappropriate sexual activity outside of wedlock.
Every Mormon member must also fulfill a “mission” after they graduate high
school or complete college. To become missionaries, Mormon youths must prove their
worthiness and undergo intensive studies in language and scripture, both the JudeoChristian Bible and the church's own Book of Mormon. From the central training center-the U.S. facility is in Provo, Utah--young Mormons embark on an unpaid two-year term
of service. Some 60,000 missionaries serve throughout the world, putting in long,
regimented days calling on prospective converts. Missionaries travel and live in same-sex
groups of two to four, but still they remain isolated--young men and women in unfamiliar
locations, separated from friends and family, calling home just twice a year, on Mother's
Day and Christmas (Neff, 2005).
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The Mormon Family
One of the Mormon Church’s most fundamental beliefs is their belief in a strong
marriage between a man and a woman. Constantly listed in works from the church,
Mormons emphasize how important developing and being in a strong marriage between a
man and a woman. The importance of marriage is mentioned throughout the document
entitled, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, from the Council of the Twelve
Apostates of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The first paragraph states,
“marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central
to the Creator’s plan.” It goes on to state, “happiness enables family relationships to be
perpetuated beyond the grave.” "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man
and woman is essential to His eternal plan. . . . Happiness in family life is most likely
to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus
Christ" (http://family.jrank.org/pages/1180/Mormonism-Mormon-BeliefsPractices.html)
Virtually every young Mormon feels the need to get married to a member of
the opposite sex and start a family as soon as possible. Almost every temple member
is married at a fairly young age, usually right before or after his or her required
“mission”. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that gender roles
of men and women are distinct but equal. Fathers preside as the providers and
protectors of their families. Mothers are the primary caregivers to nurture children
with love, sensitivity, and spirituality. Men are taught that their highest calling is
their role as a father. Fathers bless, heal, comfort, and guide their family members.
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Likewise, nothing in a woman's life is to take higher priority than family
responsibilities.
The Mormon Position on Homosexuality
The relationship between the Mormon Church and its homosexual members is
fractured, complex, and rarely discussed. The church doesn’t even use the term
“homosexuality” and prefer to say “same-sex attractions”. Even though many other
churches around the world and across the United States have found ways of going about
accepting homosexuals into their churches and respecting them as people and as gay, the
Church of Latter-day Saints is yet to do so. Even though the Mormon Church would like
for the rest of the world to think they are no more homophobic than other churches across
the country and around the world, this is not the case. Many members of the church and
several church leaders have released statements to the public, expressing their distaste
and their refusal to accept homosexuality.
In the late 1950s, Mormon apostle Spencer W. Kimball was assigned to “take care
of the church’s issues” regarding homosexuality. He spent years developing the
publication Miracle of Forgiveness and the policies toward homosexuality has been
predominant ever since. Kimble declared that, “Many yielding to this ugly practice are
basically good people who have become trapped in sin…Those who do not [change]
must be disciplined when all other treatments fail” (Goodwill, 2000). Recently, LDS
elder Boyd Packer called gays "evil" and "unnatural" (Commercial Appeal, 2010).
LDS does claim though, that a member cannot be excommunicated simply
because they have a “homosexual orientation”, as long as they remain celibate.
(http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_lds1.htm) So, as long as a member of the church
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does not act physically on his or her “same-sex” desires, they will be able to stay within
the Mormon Church.
LDS uses a few reasons why they don’t allow homosexuality among their
members and in their church. Mormons give three main arguments. These include:
1. Marriage is an institution designed by God to be between a man and a woman.
2. God’s plan for sexual intimacy (The Law of Chastity), states that all sexual
relationships outside of marriage are a sin.
3. Though sex is appropriately used to express love within a marriage, its
primary function is as a procreative power. Misusing this God-given gift and
responsibility is a serious sin for Mormons. (Evans, 2009).
According to the church, the only “good” and proper intercourse exists in
marriage between a man and a woman. This type of sex does not involve any sin.
Improper or “bad” sex exists in fornication. Finally, what is considered “ugly” sex (behind
the closed doors of the Mormon Church) is the worst form of improper sex. This includes
adultery, bestiality, and homosexuality. “Ugly sex” will “bring any civilization to ruin.”
(http://www.mormonbeliefs.com/marriage,_sex,_adultery,_homosexuality.htm)
The official position of the Mormon Church on homosexuality is that homosexual
relationships are not “in line” with God’s ultimate plan for his children and any same-sex
activity should be considered a serious sin. It must be pointed out though, that the
Mormon Church specifically identifies a difference between homosexual feelings and
homosexual behaviors. Homosexual “feelings” cannot be controlled but you must make
sure you do not “act” on those feelings.
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Official church policy on homosexuality is best expressed by President Hinckley
in 1998, when he said the following:
People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called
gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of
God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be
difficult to control. ...If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go
forward as do all other members of the church. If they violate the law of chastity
and the moral standards of the church, then they are subject to the discipline of the
church, just as others are” (Neff, 2005).
Being Mormon and Being Homosexual
There are countless accounts of homosexuality existing among members of the
Mormon Church, even more predominantly among men. When a Mormon man, often
times a young man, begins sensing “same-sex” attractions, many times they turn to their
bishop or someone they look up to in the church. Struggling with his gay sexual
orientation for several years, Aaron Cloward sought help from his local bishop at the
Church of Latter-Day Saints, but he didn’t get any. His bishop said to him, “You are
rejecting Christ. You are on the pathway to hell” (Neff, 2005). The reaction to Cloward’s
confession is common among members of the church that have come forward with their
stories.
Many other homosexuals struggling within the church do not come out to anyone
but instead choose to go on their mission and live their life as “the ultimate Mormon”
which is said to “cure” them. How couldn’t it? Isn’t this what the Church has taught
them? Mormon Nate Currey served two years as a missionary in Lithuania while
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struggling with his homosexual attractions. He tried to live by the quote the church uses
to understand how to approach sexuality, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” Currey states, “I
thought if I was out there on my mission doing my best, doing what God expected me to
do, being obedient and following the rules, that this attraction would go away” (Neff,
2005). Eventually Currey realized his hopes would not come true.
To avoid exile from the Mormon Church on earth and hellfire in the afterlife,
many gay Mormons have been encouraged to undergo various forms of "ex-gay"
therapy. Some join the LDS-backed Evergreen International, a program that encourages
people to "turn away" from homosexuality; some undergo shock treatments. Many “ExGay” programs exist, promising to cure people with unwanted homosexual feelings. Most
of these are Christian and church run and the Mormon church often times suggest this
option for their homosexual members.
In study entitled, “ Religion and the Spiritual needs of Gay Mormon Men”, five
participants were questioned who all identified as Mormon and as homosexual. Every
participant disclosed that they first went to their bishop, president, or clergymen from
their church. Most of the men said that the members of the church they spoke to, told
them to go about their life as planned, go on their mission, start a family, etc. (Goodwill,
2000). They were constantly told that their same-sex attractions would most certainly
stop if they continued their lives as good Mormons.
METHOD:
The Conflict
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This section will take an in depth look at the areas where conflict takes place
between a homosexual Mormon man, both between the man and the church, and the man
and himself. The model that will be used with the Theory of CMM is the Serpentine.
When a man is homosexual and Mormon, a dilemma occurs. A man who is
Mormon is unable to be a homosexual if he wants to be true to his religion and an
“ultimate Mormon”. If he is true to his religion, and not true to his sexuality, he is unable
to be true to himself. If a man chooses his sexuality, embraces his homosexuality, he is
unable to be true to his religion and unable to be an “ultimate Mormon”. A man in this
position must choose to be true to himself or true to his Mormon beliefs, but cannot have
both.
The Serpentine
The interaction that takes place between members of the Mormon Church and
homosexual members of the Mormon Church creates a necessity to act referred to as the
logical of interaction. Each individual has a different hierarchy of needs/resources, which
determines their logical force. An individual’s hierarchy of resources is contextual
information connected with a person and influences every part of their everyday lives,
who they are as a person, as well as their interactions with others. These include
relationships, culture, family, and autobiography. During interactions, each person brings
to the conversation their own hierarchy of resources, making conversations extremely
layered and interesting to examine deeper than the surface. When looking at the
interaction that takes place between the parties, using the model of the serpentine can
help us look into further into the construction of episodes.
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The particular interaction being examined will be between a young man in the
Mormon Church who is struggling with his homosexual urges and feelings. He is
between the ages of 18-20 years old and has spent his whole life growing up in the
Mormon Church. His family is also extremely devout Mormon and live strictly by the
standards set by the Book of Mormon. The young man goes to his Bishop alone and
together they sit down in a room where no one else is around. They have known each
other for the young man’s whole life as a member in this church. He has not discussed his
attractions with anyone else, not even his family members. The man’s utterance to the
Bishop is, “Father, I believe I am gay”. The Bishop then draws his own narratives to
develop his resources for coherence. The Bishop’s reaction to the man’s utterance and
narrative goes as follows:
Archetype:
God is all
powerful; the
rule of the
universe
Culture: any sexual activity outside of marriage between a man and
a woman is considered one of the worst Mormon sins
Family/Self: I am looked toward for help as a Bishop; must help
this young man from his sinful curiosity
Relationship: Advisee; helper; father
Episode: Private conversation
This chart shows the Hierarchy of Resources for the Mormon Bishop. The most
important thing to him, his archetype, shows that to him, God is above everything else in
his life. To the right of his archetype, shows that culture, family/self, and relationship are
also included in his hierarchy of resources. His Mormon culture teaches him that any
sexual activity outside of a marriage between a man and a woman is considered one of
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the worst sins, therefore homosexual activities are completely against his religion. He
knows in terms of “self”, he is looked to for help so must guide the young man to stray
from his sinful ways, after all, his relationship with him is as his advisee and helper. To
him, the “episode” that is taking place between him and the young man is a private
conversation.
confession
threat
plea
concern
The above chart shows the speech acts that the Bishop considers this conversation to be.
The young man is obviously making a confession to the Bishop about having homosexual
feelings. He is also making a threat to him that he may leave the church if his feelings
continue, as well as a plea for help to guide him in the right direction, because of his
concern for the way the church views homosexuality.
After hearing the man’s utterance, the Bishop develops what he thinks to be a
legitimate, obligatory, compulsory, and prohibited reaction to the utterance. The chart
below shows his moral operators that will drive him toward an appropriate reaction.
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LEGITIMIATE:
Tell the man what he needs to
do
The Bishop is the voice of God
OBLIGATORY:
To tell him to stray from his
sinful thoughts
This is what the Mormon Church
teaches
COMPULSORY:
To tell him something is wrong
with him
He believes being gay is a terrible sin
PROHIBITED:
To tell him to live his life as
happy and gay
He will be excommunicated from the
Church and live in sin
The above shows us, that once the Bishop is told, “Father, I believe am gay”, by the
Mormon Church member, it is legitimate for the Bishop to tell the man what he needs to
do because the Bishop is the voice of God. It is obligatory for the Bishop to tell him to
stray from his sinful thoughts because this is what the Mormon Church teaches about
homosexuality. It is compulsory for the Bishop to tell him something is wrong with him
because the Bishop believes that being gay is a terrible sin. The Bishop is prohibited to
tell the man to live life as a gay man because he will be excommunicated from the church
and live in sin.
Church leaders and members are encouraged to reach out with love and
understanding to those struggling with the issues of homosexuality (Landis, 2002). In
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response to the Mormon man’s utterance the Bishop says calmly in return, “You must
ignore your same-sex urges.” The homosexual man then draws his narratives to develop
his resources of coherence. His hierarchy of resources is developed as follows:
Archetype/
Culture: The
family is
central to
God's plan;
including
marriage
between a
man and a
woman
Self/Life-Script: expectations of himself; expectations of the
church and his family
Self/Autobiography: having strong homosexual
feelings and attractions
Relationship (with the Church): questioning its strength
and importance ; the truth of its teachings
Episode: crisis; searching
To the Mormon man, the most important aspect of his hierarchy of resources is his
archetype and culture, in which the family is the central most important thing taught by
the Book of Mormon. Every Mormon is encouraged to marry with a partner of the
opposite sex and start a family. Next in his hierarchy is his self/life-script that includes
the expectations he holds for himself as well as the expectations his family has for him.
On the other hand, his self/autobiography is pulling him in the other direction because of
his strong homosexual feelings and desires. He is continually questioning the relationship
he has with the church, wondering how much truth is really in their teachings because if
their beliefs about homosexuality were true, then why would God make him this way?
For the man, the episode is a serious crisis and he searches for answers. The man
considers the Bishop’s utterance to be the following speech acts:
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warning
threat
plea
command
The Bishop telling the man to ignore his same-sex attractions counts as a warning to the
man, as well as a threat to not give into his homosexuality or he will be sinning. It also
counts as a plea for the man to turn away from his attractions as well as a command that
he follow God’s way and not sin against him.
After hearing the Bishop’s utterance, the Mormon man develops what he thinks to
be a legitimate, obligatory, compulsory, and prohibited reaction to the utterance. The
chart below shows his moral operators.
LEGITIMATE:
To attend “therapy”
He must find a way to change his
sexuality
To obey the Church
That is the way of God
To embrace his homosexuality
That is who he is and how he feels
OBLIGATORY:
COMPULSORY:
PROHIBITED:
To be with a man
The Mormon Church teaches
homosexuality is a terrible sin
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The homosexual man believes it is legitimate to attend therapy because he must find a
way to change his sexuality. He also believes it is obligatory to obey the Church because
he believes strongly in his Mormon religion. He feels compulsory to embrace his
homosexuality because that is who he is and how he feels. But he is prohibited to be with
a man because the Mormon Church teaches homosexuality is a terrible sin.
Often times, within a serpentine, the conversation can take many directions but
this particular conversation could only go a couple of ways. Being that the man’s
hierarchy of resources matched very similarly that of the Bishop’s, no confrontation
occurred. The young man views the Bishop as someone much closer to God than he,
which makes him feel as though he should trust what the Bishop is telling him to do in
the particular situation. Their interpretation of the speech acts that were occurring was
also very similar so this helped lead the interaction down a non-confrontational path.
After the interaction occurs, the young man must make some extremely important
life decisions. Does he do what the Bishop says and go on with his life as planned, by
going on his mission and starting a family? Or does he stay true to his sexuality and
embrace who he is? For this particular young man, religion, God, and family were the
most important things to him, and if that meant ignoring his homosexual feelings, no
matter how strong they may be, he had to do so to stay true to his church and God.
Using the information discussed, we can see how important the Mormon Church
and religion is to this young man. Judging by the fact that God, the Church, and his
family are the most important things in his life, he knows his homosexuality does not fit
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into the puzzle correctly. He must deny the fact that he has strong feelings toward men
and take the Bishop’s advice. He chooses not to attend any type of “therapy” because he
does not want his family members to find out the struggle he is going through with his
homosexual attractions.
This particular young man will end up like thousands of other members of the
Mormon Church. He will continue down the typical path laid out for members of the
Church, go on his mission, start a family, and live by the standards of the Book of
Mormon. He will continuously struggle with his homosexuality throughout his whole life
and his hierarchy of resources in his life will begin to shift. It is very unlikely that his
homosexual feelings will just “disappear”, as the Mormon Church always hopes it will.
As he grows older, he will realize all this time he has been living a lie. He will realize
he’s been denying who he is truly is this whole time, and that sexuality is a strong part of
that, not just a “feeling” he can ignore. He will question God and his Mormon religion.
Finally, after decades of struggling with who is has been for his whole life, he will come
out to his wife and two children.
Self/LifeScript: living
a lie for so
long; must
start being
true to who he
is
Family: extremely important; hope that they will someone find
a way to forgive and accept
Relationship (with God): will continue a relationship with
God on his own terms
Culture: will be drastically changed and will no longer stayin
the Church
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The above chart shows the man’s hierarchy of resources has changed from what was
previously shown to be the things in his life most important to him. Now his self/lifescript is what is the driving force in his life, telling him he must no longer live a lie. Of
course, his family is still extremely important and he hopes that one day they will
understand who he is and accept him into their lives. His relationship with God will still
exist but on his own terms, outside of the Mormon Church. His culture will be drastically
changed, seeing that he will no longer be living by the Mormon religion and will now be
able to live his life as openly gay.
DISCUSSION:
The Coordinated Management of Meaning Theory shows us that most of the conflict
taking place in the above section is between the homosexual Mormon man and himself. It
seems as though it is an impossible decision to make to ask someone to either choose
their religion or choose their sexuality and who they are as a person. But the Mormon
Church does so. The Church feels as though all same-sex attractions are simply “phases”
and will not play a significant role in the lives of members struggling with such urges, but
as history has shown, this is certainly not the case.
If this conflict is going to ever be resolved, the Church must find a way to accept
homosexuality or they will lose thousands of “valued” members every year. Even more
importantly, asking members to deny their homosexuality is causing even greater
problems. Members have gone to great lengths to suppress their feelings, continuing on
their missions, marrying, and starting families, to continue on the path their religion has
recommended to them. This has caused the break up of countless marriages and families,
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creating even more long-term damage and conflict. Several homosexual members have
even turned to suicide from the turmoil the Church has caused them.
We must hope that the Mormon Church will realize the times are certainly
shifting and people who want to live their lives as openly gay is becoming more and more
common. In regards to these changes, the Mormon Church must no longer suppress their
member’s sexuality and instead find a way to embrace it into their religion in some way.
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