Powell 1
Dallas Powell
Professor Lam
UNIV 111
1 December 2014
Writer’s memo: Final Draft
1. How much outside of class time did you spend on the writing/revision process
since turning in the first draft?
9 hours
2. How did you use peer feedback to improve this essay?
I didn’t use much feedback from my peers
3. How did you use the model essays to improve this essay? Be specific.
It greatly helped me shape how I laid out my paper
4. What other steps did you take to improve this essay?
I used the Writers Reference book a lot and many sources on the internet
5. What “global” aspect(s) of the essay are you most confident about? Why?
The layout because it is organized very well
6. Which “global” aspects of the essay are you most concerned about? Why?
Keeping on topic of my thesis because I feel like some readers might not
understand where the conversation is going.
7. What “local” aspects(s) of the essay are you most confident about? Why?
I had good sentence structures with a decent vocabulary used in the paper.
8. What “local” aspects(s) of the essay are you most concerned about? Why?
My grammar as always
9. If you had more time to work on the essay, what aspect(s) would you focus on
improving, and why? How much time would it take?
My grammar and a few corrections on sentences
10. What kind of feedback would you like from me as I respond to your essay? (in
addition to a grade of course)
Just do you. I trust you.
11. Compare your effort to the writing rubrics—both of them. What grade are you
expecting, and why?
A because I need it and worked hard on this paper.
Alcohol Age Limit
Alcohol has been a major influence on the shape of societies from economical to
social benefits. The first documented use of alcohol goes as far back as 2,700 B.C., which
was used for medical purposes to numb patients from pain. Alcohol could be consumed
Powell 2
by anyone of any age in the United States until 1934 when the ABC Act was passed. This
Act stated that it was illegal to purchase, possesses, or consume any alcoholic beverage
unless the person was of 21 years of age. This act was passed following the aftermath of
prohibition in our country, which showed the government how important alcohol was to
the people. 29 states in 1975 decided to lower the drinking age to 18, which was
primarily due to the lowering of the voting age from 21 to 18 nationwide. The National
Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 reversed this lower drinking age not even ten years
later back to 21. This being said, the United States is one of the few countries today that
have a high minimum drinking age of 21 years old. We are only one of four countries that
have 21 as the minimum drinking age (Hanson “Preventing Alcohol Abuse: Alcohol,
Culture and Control”).
This promotes the question: could lowering the drinking age again in the United
States to 18 benefit our society as it has in other countries in our upcoming generations?
Looking at many situations and facts, lowering the drinking age in the U.S. to 18 would
show great increase in economic, health, and social benefits for our future America.
John McCardell is a respected national leader in liberal arts education. He is a
prolific writer with over 25 books published and the founder of Choose Responsibility.
McCardell serves as the Vice Chancellor at The University of the South and has a Ph.D.
in history from Harvard. His entry in the Journal of Economic Perspectives discusses the
benefits of lowering the drinking age to 18.
130 colleges have signed the Amethyst Initiative, which declares that the 21-yearold drinking are has created a culture of binge drinking on campus. This initiative doesn’t
support a new policy but acknowledges the bad law in place. As stated previously, The
Powell 3
National Minimum Legal Drinking Age Act did not force states to lower the drinking
age, but ifs they didn’t support it the state would suffer a 10% budget on its federal
highway appropriation. This left every state with an easy decision to pass but not because
of a favor in policy. This leaves the nation with a policy they must enforce but not
solving problem related to drinking (McCardell 10-10)
The biggest problem that most people see in drinking is intoxication behind the
wheel. Only 1,900 deaths related to drinking and driving under the age of 21 were a result
of traffic fatalities. This is much lower than the problem of teens drinking private which
lead to many more deaths a year. Moreover, The belief that raising the drinking age
would decline alcohol-related traffic fatalities isn’t statistically supported. A research was
undertaken to show that half of the cause-and-effect relationship between the 21 drinking
age and decreasing alcohol-related traffic deaths have no relationship whatsoever
(McCardell 10-10)
Even though all these law are in place to prevent underage people from drinking,
75% of 12th graders, two thirds of 10th graders, and two fifths of eighth grader have
consumed alcohol. By these facts you see that the policies are clearly not preventing
teens from drinking. The Institute of Medicine states, “More youth drink than smoke
tobacco or use illegal drugs”. The estimated annual cost of underage drinking is $53
billion, which do not offer support under our current law. McCardell suggest that
reducing the drinking age to 18 would result in students taking a more responsible
approach to drinking in moderation, not binge drinking, which 90% of underage
consumers do. He ends the article with the statement “Either we are a nation of
lawbreakers, or this is a bad law.” (McCardell 10-10).
Powell 4
To further support the belief in reducing the drinking age, Ruth C. Engs, a
professor at Indiana University, discusses the issue in her article publish in New York
Times. Engs has completed has masters in counseling psychology and health education.
She states in her article that the legal drinking age should be lowered to 18 to
allow adults to drink in controlled environments such as “restaurants, taverns, pubs and
official school and university functions versus a “hidden” environment where a great risk
is at stake. A majority of college students consume alcohol in an irresponsible manner
because it is viewed as enticing as rebellion and a symbol of “adulthood”. She says that
as a nation we have tried to control irresponsible drinking problem by prohibition but
failed because of a backlash that caused social problems. 22% of all students at a
university under 21 binge drink compared to the 18% who are over 21 (Engs 159-162)
While there has been a decrease in vehicle crashes related to alcohol there has
been an increase in other problems related to heavy irresponsible drinking among college
age students. For example, from 1982-1987 about 46% of students reported “vomiting
after drinking.” This increased to over 50% after the drinking age increased. Other
statistics such as “cutting class after drinking” jumped from 9% to 12% and “getting
lower grades because of drinking” went from 5% to 7%. All these things are
repercussions of irresponsible drinking. Engs supported that this was because of
“underground drinking” outside of adult supervision and lack of knowledge of
responsible drinking. Groups such as Italians, Greeks, Chinese and Jews have very few
drinking related problems, which she says is because of an 18-year-old drinking age.
Alcohol is neither seen as a “poison or a magic potent” because there is little or no social
pressure to drink because irresponsible behavior isn’t tolerated. (Engs 159-162)
Powell 5
However, not all experts agree that lowering the drinking age isn’t the answer.
William DeJong highly disagrees with the support in raising the drinking age. DeJong is
a Professor at Boston University School of Public Health. Also, DeJong has focused most
of his life towards the affects of alcohol in teens and alcohol’s affect in society. He has
been awarded many prizes also for his teaching ability.
DeJong opens his article stating that there is no research to demonstrate that the
drinking age at 21 is counterproductive, but evidence shows the exact opposite. The
National Highway Transportation Safety Administration estimates that 900 lives are
saved every year from fewer alcohol-related crashes. He states that this law has kept
younger people from drinking irresponsible and less frequently than they would with the
law absent. This is because they take certain measures, such as designated driver, to
avoid coming to the attention of authorities. DeJong states that there isn’t a cutoff point at
which a person assumes all of the rights and privileges of adulthood. Certain maturation
process and experiences must happen before someone can be a “true adult.” (DeJong)
The government also didn’t decide on this age without a logical reasoning. Each
policy area related to drinking was carefully assessed carefully weighing the benefits and
risks. This was supported when from 1982-2007, the rate of alcohol-related traffic deaths
from people ages 18-20 dropped 60%. This was because this was the year in which all 50
states had an age 21 laws. For more evidence to support the current law, Alexander
Wagenaar, of the University of Florida college of Medicine, conducted 46 high-quality
studies that demonstrated that the age-21 law saves lives. He closes his article with the
belief that the law isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. (DeJong)
Powell 6
In the previous paragraphs, each author brings up very valid points that support
each of their research on their belief. Engs and McCardell both appeal in a logical manner
that are filled with numbers and graphs to convince the reader. However, both do not
discuss the effects that alcohol might have in the future of our education and motivation
which would be one of the biggest future development problems in society. DeJong has a
strong bias in his work and is hard to retract facts from it. Not many numbered facts are
supported in his work albeit, he still creates a more common sense approach to the
problem.
The United States is always trying to make the best situation for every citizen and
are always looking for our best outcome. However, change is necessity for growth in
every aspect of a population and this law is outdated. We have to remember also, with
every change comes some risk. The best way to evaluate the risk is to see if the benefits
outweigh them. The facts simply support in favor of lowering the drinking age to 18 for
the betterment of the country.
Powell 7
Works Cited
Hanson, David J. Preventing Alcohol Abuse: Alcohol, Culture and Control. Wesport, CT:
Praeger, 1995. Web.
"John M. McCardell Jr." About McCardell: The University of the South. 06 March. 2006.
Web.
McCardell, John. “The Statue Quo Has Bombed.” Journal of Economic Perspectives.
Vol. 145. 15 September. 2008. 10-10. Print
Engs, Ruth C. “Why The Drinking Age Should Be Lowered.” IUScholarWorks. Vol. 54.
1997. 159-162. Print
DeJong, William. “Legal drinking Age of 21 Works.” BU Today; Social Discussions. 08
March, 2014. Web