St Mark’s Coptic Church Scotland
Youth Conference
Oct. 2015
Aim
 Summary of the journey so far
 Common Traps
 The Healing Journey
 Why Resistance
 Practical Steps
 Common Questions
In summary…
 No one had a faultless fatherhood.
 Our “father figure” affects our perception of God’s
fatherhood.
 God’s revealed Himself as a Perfect Father
 The Lord will provide
 The Lord that heals
 The Lord my shepherd
 The Lord is there
 The Lord who sanctifies
 The Lord is Peace
 The Lord is our righteousness
In Summary
 This is a call to discover and enjoy His fatherhood.
 Not to blame or encourage victimisation.
 But to reconcile and get healed
 The Lord breaks your chains in pieces
 You need to draw the line
 He gave us what is His
 He is in me and I in Him
 Take the right direction and position
 Be grateful for what you have
 Forgive & Intercede
Common Traps
 Avoiding Here and Now
 Either Future or past
 Denial of reality
 Defensiveness
 Fusion or identification
 Splitting
 Either good or bad parent
 Idealise or denigrate
 Hopelessness
 Irrecoverable damage
Common Traps
 Generalisation
 They are all bad/the same
 Biased conclusion
 I am the only one
 Keeping the Gap
 Between knowing and believing
 Surrender to Feelings
 Bad/bitter/angry/failure
 Shifting focus
 On dad or me not God’s call and grace
The Healing Journey
 Not mere change of thoughts but
 Experience that involves feelings
 Change of beliefs
 Change of behaviour
 Having The Mind of Christ
 for, "Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to
instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.
1Co 2:16
 Revelations, exchange, joy and change, hunger for
more, Revelations
The Healing Journey
 Targets various distortions
 Self image/ identity
 Image of God
 Viewing others
 Involves negative feelings
 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because
her time has come; but when her baby is born she
forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is
born into the world. Jhn 16:21
The Healing Journey
 Growth in relationship
 No individualism
 Divine-human act
 Now we have received, not the
spirit of the world, but the Spirit
who is from God, that we might
know the things that have been
freely given to us by God. 1Co
2:12
 I need to fear not and
 Make a choice
Who Wants to Change?
Who Wants to Change?
 The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet,
but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David,
have mercy on us!"
 Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want
me to do for you?" he asked. Mat 20:32
 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he
had been in this condition for a long time, he asked
him, "Do you want to get well?" John 5:6
Resistance
 I feel like I have walls around
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me.
I find it hard for the words to
go deep in my heart.
Truth feels distant.
Part of me doesn’t accept the
Fatherhood of God.
I have mixed feelings.
Reaction to “Trauma”
Reaction to “Trauma”
Feelings/Body
Sensations
Behavioural
Patterns
Life Rules and
Principles
Default Beliefs
Example:
- Submit
- Withdraw
I must please
others
I am Unlovable
Example
Keep people
away
I shouldn’t
trust
I am not safe
Example
Seeking
approval
Unless it’s
perfect…
I am not good
enough
Can God Invade My Resistance?
 For the word of God [is] living and
powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the
division of soul and spirit, and of
joints and marrow, and is a
discerner of the thoughts and
intents of the heart. Heb 4:12
 And take the helmet of salvation,
and the sword of the Spirit, which
is the word of God; Eph 6:17
 Has He done it before?
How About My Feelings?
 For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all
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with the affection of Jesus Christ. Phl 1:8
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Phl 4:4
We have myths about feelings
They always tell the truth
They cannot be changed
I cannot induce feelings
They occur without reason
Practical Steps
 What will you do
differently?
 What have you
Learned?
Time for Questions
Common Questions
 How do I know I am not judging my dad?
 What’s the guarantee that opening up will lead to
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healing?
How can I make a start if I am lacking trust?
How can I carry on if my feelings aren’t there
What is my role and what is God’s role?
Why me?
Where was God when I was vulnerable?
What if I don’t know what it means to be a dad?