Cognitive and Social Origins of
Attraction
Cognitive and Social Origins of
Attraction
• Open Gross’s sample chapter on
Interpersonal Relationships.
• Read the bottom of page 434 and all of
435.
•According to Byrne (1971),
our self-esteem is boosted
when other people share
our own views and values.
Attraction-similarity model
• Morry (2007)
• “people tend to see friends and partners
as similar to themselves”
• People are attracted to those they
percieve as being similar to themselves –
enhancing the self-esteem of both parties.
Markey et al (2007)
• Using questionnaires, young people were
asked to describe themselves and an ideal
romantic partner.
• Findings:
• People want partners who are similar to
themselves.
The role of self-esteem in
relationship formation
• Kiesler and Baral (1970)
• Aim: To determine whether self-esteem
affects men’s willingness to engage in
conversation with an attractive woman.
• What kind of experiment might they have
used?
The role of self-esteem in
relationship formation
• Kiesler and Baral (1970)
• Aim: To determine whether self-esteem
affects men’s willingness to engage in
conversation with an attractive woman.
• What kind of experiment might they have
used?
• Read page 277 to find out.
Reward/need Satisfaction Theory (Clore &
Byrne, 1974): the why…
Theory in a nutshell: “We are attracted to individuals whose presence is
rewarding for us”
Research has shown that the following have reward value:
Proximity – Physical closeness we are social animals and need to be with
others (affiliation)
Exposure and Familiarity – Proximity increases possibility of interaction
(exposure) which leads to familiarity. We like familiar things and find
them rewarding.
Similarity - “Birds of a feather flock together” This is rewarding as people
who think like us make us feel more confident of our own opinions
which boosts our self esteem. We also think that people like us will like
us, so we like them. This is called:
Reciprocal Liking – “I like you because you like me!” If you know
someone likes you it makes you feel good and so is rewarding.
Physical Attractiveness According to the attractiveness stereotype (Dion
et al 1972) we think attractive looking people have more attractive
personalities , and we are rewarded with kudos of being with an
attractive person
So where is the evidence for all this?
Reciprocity: Liking Others Who
Like Us
• Reciprocity: We like people who like us
– An enormously powerful effect
– How to win friends and influence people (Dale
Carnegie, 1937)
• Sold 15 million copies
– If you want others to like you, make sure they
know you like them!
Reciprocity: Liking Others Who
Like Us
• Procedure
– Female pairs met several times to discuss
topics
– P overheard follow-up conversation btw her
partner and experimenter
• ¼ constantly positive comments about her
• ¼ constantly negative comments about her
• ¼ negative to positive comments about her (gain)
• ¼ positive to negative comments about her (loss)
• Results: P liked partner when evaluation
changed from negative to positive (gain)
Proximity: Liking People who are
Nearby
• The single best predictor of attraction
• Where we live & work influences the friends we make.
“If you can’t be with the one you love,
honey, love the one you’re with.”
Proximity: Liking People who are Nearby
Evidence:
Westgate West: Housing at MIT ~1949
(Festinger, 1950)
• Close friends:
– Next door neighbours: 41%
– Two doors down: 22%
– Opposite ends of hallway:
10%
• “Contrary to popular belief, I do
not believe that friends are
necessarily the people you like
best; they are merely the
people who got there first.” (Sir
Peter Ustinov, 1977)
Festinger 1950
• Leon Festinger’s study was conducted in
1950 though, before the digital age.
• People are not so reliant today on
geographic proximity for making friends
and relationships.
Why does Proximity Work?

Availability:
 More likely to meet, so more likely to
form a relationship.
Mere exposure
 The more often people are exposed to an
object, the more positively they evaluate
that object: Humans like familiar things,
they make us feel safe and happy – which
is rewarding.
Exposure/Familiarity Research Evidence
(Moreland & Beach, 1992)
• Procedure
– Four women and a classroom
– 4 women attended class
• 1 women 0 times
• 1 woman 5 classes
• 1 woman 10 classes
• 1 woman 15 classes
– Students rate women on traits at end of
semester
Results The more classes the woman attended,
the more favorable her ratings became.
Physical Attractiveness
• According to the attractiveness stereotype (Dion
et all 1972) we perceive attractive people as also
having more attractive personalities. (The halo
effect)
Physical Attractiveness
Research Evidence:
• “What’s beautiful is good” (Dion et al., 1972)
• Teachers judge attractive students as more intelligent
than unattractive students (Clifford & Walster, 1973),
• Adults, and nurses in pediatric wards, punish unattractive
children more harshly than attractive children (Dion,
1974)
• Texas judges set lower bail and smaller fines for
attractive suspects (Downs & Lyons, 1991)
• Attractive people make more money (Hamermesh &
Biddle, 1994) and get better job ratings from bosses
(Hosoda et al., 2003)
• Parents spend more time looking at attractive babies!!!
Physical Attractiveness:
Further support
• Physical attractiveness is a powerful predictor of
•
being liked. “Beauty is a greater recommendation
than any letter of introduction” (Aristotle)
The computer dance study (1966)
– Incoming college freshmen randomly paired for a
dance
– The most important predictor of desire to date the
person afterwards was physical attractiveness (for
men and women)
– To be with someone who is attractive is rewarding for
the pleasure of looking at them and the kudos it gives
you with your friends and competitors.
Similarity: Liking People Who Are Just
Like Us
Birds of a feather
flock together
Opposites
attract
Similarity: Liking People Who Are
Just Like Us
• Procedure
Birds of a feather
flock together
– Pairs selected based
on attitudes
• ½ similar attitudes
• ½ dissimilar attitudes
– Pairs went on a date
• Results
– Highly similar pairs
were more attracted to
each other than
dissimilar pairs
Similarity: Liking People Who Are
Just Like Us
• The matching hypothesis:
– People tend to date and marry others of similar
attractiveness
• Why does it happen?
• People want to date attractive people, but rejection
hurts
– Possibility of rejection makes people more realistic
– Most attractive people pair off and are “off the market”
People seek the best but settle for what they can get!
Famous Couples – How well do they
match?
Rate them out of 10 for ‘matchability’
Matching in physical
attractiveness
• People tend to pair with partners who are
about as physically attractive as they are.
• Predicts success of relationship (more
similar in attractiveness, more likely to
stay together)
• However, women who marry less
attractive men are shown to rate their
marriage as more satisfying.
LoA
What are the
factors involved?
Which studies
support this LoA?
What are some
strengths and
limitations of this
LoA?
Biological
origins of
attraction
Cognitive
origins of
attraction
Sociocultural
origins of
attraction