You Professional !!
Are you a Good Parent?...
Dr. SHAVINDRA R.DIAS
MBBS,MD Psych.(colombo)
Dip in Psychol.,BA(Oxon UK)
Senior Lecturer in Psychiatry
Department of Psychiatry
Faculty of Medicine
University of Peradeniya
Kandy, Sri Lanka
What kind of a parent are
you???
• Being a parent is a wonderful thing..
• However, it’s not always easy..
• We want our children to behave well,
and to:
■ have respect for themselves and others;
■ be polite to others;
■ know how to behave in different situations;
■ be able to concentrate and pay attention;
■ share and to take turns;
■ know how to win and how to lose;
• But children often behave quite differently,
and we may feel annoyed, frustrated and
embarrassed.
• Parents of teenage children or children with a
disability may face additional challenges and
pressures.
Parenting Styles
Authoritarian Style
Parent
–
–
–
–
–
–
Not involved or responsive, but set strict limits
Expect children to follow strict rules
Does not explain why rules should be obeyed
Punish children who disobey rules
Are controlling/power-oriented
Use verbal threats or spanking
 Children lack social competence
 Mental illness and abuse
Child
 Obedient
 Proficient (Good at what they do)
 May view parent as enemy
 May be confused about what is right/wrong
 Have  levels happiness & self-esteem
Permissive Style
– Very involved and responsive, but don’t set
limits
– Has no firm rules, lenient
– Accepts child as he/she is
– Disciplines through love, praise and affection
– Communicates and nurtures child
– Acts more like a friend than parent
Parent
Child
Dependent
Irresponsible / Lacks self-control
Immature
Experiences problems with
authority
 Experiences problems in school
(i.e. completing projects)




Neglectful Style
Parent
– Makes few demands
– Low responsiveness to child
– Detached from child, but fulfills
his/her basic needs
– In extreme cases parents REJECT or
NEGLECT needs of child
 Children not well adjusted; resentful
Child
 Feel neglected / abandoned, have  self-esteem
 Lack self-control
Authoritative Style
Parent
Child
–
–
–
–
–
Very involved and responsive, but set limits
Supportive of child’s decisions
Child centered; foster independence
Guides and shows by example
Willing to discuss choices they or their child
makes and the reasoning behind these choices
– Disciplinary methods are nurturing & forgiving
 Well adjusted children
 Good decision makers
 Independent, but seek help
when needed
 Happy
 Capable
 Successful
Parenting Styles
Demandingness (control)
Responsiveness (involvement)
High
Low
High
Authoritative
Permissive
Low
Authoritarian
Neglectful
You can be a good parent…
Tip 1: Talk and Listen
• Talking and listening to
your child helps them to
understand what’s going
on.
• Do not expect the near
impossible; be
understanding.
Tip 2: Understand Changes As They
Grow
• Exploring:
• Independence:
• Encouragement
• Consider the age of child. Use age-appropriate
methods
Tip 3: Set Boundaries
• Set Reasonable limits; do not set them too
high or too low
• Children need clear rules, boundaries and
routine.
• Word the instructions positively.
• Be consistent.
• If you make promises keep them. Be true to
your word.
Tip 4: Reward and Notice Good
Behaviour
• Rewards do not have to be material things.
• Real praise and encouragement is the best
reward as it can boost a child and build selfesteem and confidence
Tip 5: Build Self Confidence
• Help them to try out new things, make friends
and cope with the upsets and problems they
meet as they grow up.
Tip 6: Have Realistic Expectations and
Allow Consequences
• Children are children.
• They will be messy, noisy and, at times,
disobedient.
• Give them the freedom to make mistakes.
• Encourage your child to think for themselves
and take responsibility for their actions.
• Let the children know the consequences of
their behaviour
Tip 7: When Things Are Getting
Difficult
• Stay calm.
Porn films revealed!
• Think practically about the applicability of
disciplinary actions, and let children know that
you are serious.
• Flexibility is fine – life can be chaotic and
having a flexible approach will help your
children learn to do the same.
• Do not punish accidents.
• Give a second chance.
• Let bygones be bygones.
Remember
• All children are unique.
• The most important thing is that your child
feels loved and happy even when sometimes
things are difficult
THANK YOU…